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Ranting, ranting, ranting...
Argh! And Yay! But Also Argh!
Saturday, October 27, 2001
01:45 a.m.
Today ends (begins? it IS almost two a.m.) with a great thing, and a horrible thing.
I watched the Cowboy Bebop movie today. It was freaking awesome. i can safely say that fans of the series will NOT be disappointed. It isn't a retelling or alternate universe or other such crap - just a really long, really well-made episode, and it's wonderful. Pretty pretty butterflies.
Bad thing: I just today (about two minutes ago) discovered that Final Fantasy X is going to be dubbed into English. I seriously almost cried. I mean, there's this really nice trailer of it circulating now where the dialogue is Japanese and subtitled, and so I really thought they were going to leave it, but noooo. Why the hell CAN'T they sub it? It's an RPG! You have to read all of the dialogue anyway! Geez! >.< Hopefully the voices won't suck. I dunno, though... Xenogears' dubbing left a lot to be desired, and I normally am very lenient on dubs. Sigh. And something about the shot of Yuna dancing on the water murmuring "Shinjite..." was just SO beautiful. Now it will be lost. I want to go grab Square by the throat and shake them around a while. >.< Oh well.
Rant Status: Done.
Why are they so CUTE?!
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
10:49 p.m.
I just got back from visiting my aunt and cousin's apartment. Jessi is 20 and had a baby last spring, completely unintentionally, but she's really getting along well, and Nicky is SO CUTE. She's about seven months old now, and she's always laughing and giggling and waving her arms around. And she makes me feel all maternal. It's scary.
(By the way, I tried talking Jessi into naming her Angelina ::coughcoughwolfwoodobsessioncoughcough:: but she settled on Nicole... which actually accomplishes basically the same purpose. How odd.)
Anyway, so she makes me want to have a kid. Except I don't REALLY want a kid. I think I have to blame it on my estrogen. Seriously, I do not EVER want to go through pregnancy. Whenever I get my period I always start ranting that I want to remove my uterus, and really, if there were an easy/painless/cheap way to do that, I would. Seriously, though, I would love to raise a child some day. Maybe I'll adopt. I mean, there are so money unwanted kids in the world, and it's not like humanity is in any danger of dying out, so why not? Of course, I wouldn't try this until I had settled down into a job with a decent place to live and all, and possibly gotten married. I'm not sure if marriage really appeals to me, though. Sometimes I think that I'd rather have a few close friends to hang out with than a boyfriend. I do have that damn crush, though >.< But that's another story and I should not have brought it up.
Anyway, that is my rant of the day. It wasn't nearly as angsty as I usually am, was it? ^_^ Cool.
Okay, I'll end this with something that bugs me. I can't find any Leon/Daley fics! Why not?! They're a great couple, in either series! Come ON, people, write some Bubblegum Crisis yaoi! Enough of the lesbian Knight Sabers hentai! T-T (Not that I have anything against it; there's just so MUCH of it. Sigh.)
Argh.
Tuesday, October 16, 2001
06:52 p.m.
Sarah recently made a post in which she stated that she sucks. Now, I may disagree with that sentiment, but I'm starting to really understand. I'm going through a sudden midlife crisis, which is sad, because I'm only 19. Seriously, though. What am I doing with my life? What are my goals? What do I even want to major in? WMU's creative writing program is starting to just... not gel with what I want to do, as a writer. Which would be write things that other people enjoy reading. I don't want to win awards and be famous. I just want people to be able to read things I've written and get SOMETHING out of it, even if that thing is only a few hours' entertainment and a crush on a main-character bishonen. Is there anything wrong with those goals? I don't think so, but apparently my teacher wants us to win Pulitzers, not have fun. She said I can't put a vampire in my story because we're working on quality literature, or some such. Like she has any definition of what "quality" is? Like anyone does? Cheesy romance novels may not necessarily be fresh or original (and I personally don't like them), but they can still be entertaining, so they shouldn't be dismissed. The same goes with any other genre in any other form of entertainment. And, at its core, writing IS entertainment. Art, yes; but you don't read a book just to appreciate it, you read a book because you enjoy it. Or maybe I'm crazy.
Sarah also mentioned my mention (does that make sense?) of a crush. Which is embarrassing. It's a silly thing that I shouldn't have even mentioned, but of course I did because even though one part of me doesn't want to talk about it, there's another part that has a sort of weird masochistic desire to let people know. It makes no sense. Whatever.
I just told Alex in an ICQ that I wish I were back in kindergarten with my crayons. That's the clearest goal I've been able to form in quite awhile. If I looked in the Mirror of Erised right now, that's what I'd see - myself sitting at a table of five-year-olds, coloring elephants lime green. Yeah, that would be cool.
Lalala...
Friday, October 12, 2001
06:38 p.m.
I haven't blogged in a while (a week actually) so I figured I'd better, just in case someone is really curious as to what has happened in my life.
Okay, so that isn't a lot. ^_^* Um... ::thinkthink:: I worked a lot today. It was boring. It made me wonder what I'm doing with my life, which is always a depressing thing. I like writing, but I'm getting increasingly less confident in my abilites; the only other thing I really enjoy doing is sitting at the computer and typing. I would LOVE to get a job like that... in a cubicle somewhere, with little-to-no human contact. I wonder how you go about that, and what kind of education you'd need. Sigh.
I had this creepy dream yesterday where Sarah was attacked by some monster with a pumpkin for a head and I was trying to protect her. I had a grappling hook I was shooting at the pumpkin guy. It was pretty dumb. ^_^*
Forum for INSANITY!
Tuesday, October 9, 2001
05:28 p.m.
Our anime club's web site has a forum, which is fun. But it also has a really annoying guy named Joe on it. And then it has the people who hate Joe and antagonize him all the time. I'm sort of stuck on this. I mean, yeah, the guy's annoying as hell, but all the same picking on him isn't entirely fair. I mean, he really hasn't done anything WRONG. (He did call Fake "crap" and not explain himself, but I figured I'd let it go in favor of answering questions other people had about it.)
Sarah's mentioned starting an anime club newsletter. The more I think about that, the more interesting it seems, although I really want to hear more details about how we'd make it and what would be in it. I really want to get more involved in the club, but in general I don't really know how. I still don't want Mike as president again (although he's certainly gotten a lot better than he was), and Dale is sort of silly to have on the eboard also, but who would we replace them with? Hopefully Sarah will be okay with doing it again, since she is not only pretty responsible about it but also friendly and easy to approach (unlike Mike and Chris!). Jason wouldn't be too bad, but not as president; he has a tendency to be a little overly open about his opinions. I'd LOVE to have a place on the eboard myself, but I keep asking myself: would I be good at it? I'm such a wimp in so many ways. On one hand, though, if I were on it (and this is a relatively big "if", I guess) then I'd have a REASON to get a backbone. Whatever...
I sure talk a lot when it comes right down to it, don't I? And I haven't even mentioned the weird secret crush I've been harboring for a while, because I'm afraid if I do then the object of said crush would find out about it, which would be TOTALLY embarrassing. ^_^* Blah, I'll shut up now.
How come...
Friday, October 5, 2001
10:20 p.m.
....Aaron's writing style is so hard to make sense out of? And how come, despite that, I enjoy reading it?
And how come he and Sarah have such little fonts? I want a little font too.
"Trigun Doujinshi"
Monday, October 1, 2001
11:03 p.m.
I made a weird discovery yesterday. I typed "Trigun Doujinshi" into Google, hit "enter", and the first page that came up was... mine. o.O I guess that explains why I got over 1000 hits so quickly. I feel guilty - I haven't been scanning much in lately. I also haven't been home all that much, since I hang out at campus doing nothing all the time. I feel weird about scanning things when my parents are home, though, in case they feel suddenly interested in what I'm doing and walk in to see Vash and Wolfwood making out onscreen. ^_^* Anyway, the scanner isn't hooked up at the moment due to the new computer (see below).
I don't have much else to say... things really haven't been very interesting. School is sort of boring, which means I haven't been having that much enthusiasm for it. I still haven't bought my Japanese workbook, which I should probably do if I want to pass the class ^_^* And Alex doesn't do much but play ADOM and Sonic Adventure 2 all the time, both of which are terribly boring for me. Maybe I should go watch more Yami no Matsuei, since my fansubs came last week. I'm still waiting on another Vash/Wolfwood doujin I won off of ebay though... I hope it comes soon! -_-
That's all for now, love and peace ^_^
New and Improved!
Monday, September 24, 2001
12:47 p.m.
I got home last night to find a brand-new Sony Vaio computer sitting in the den. My dad bought it without even telling me he was going to. I can already tell I'm going to enjoy the 40 gig hard drive - the previous computer had 4.
So Alex and I broke up this weekend. Or something. The truth is, I don't think either of us know entirely what we want to do. We like each other and all, but... I know that on my end, at least, I just don't like the complications that come with "going out" with someone. It's so much easier to just act the exact same way we did then without actually calling it "going out". It seems like the semantics shouldn't matter, but for some reason it does. I definitely feel less stressed now, although that may also be because the paper and short story I had to get finished this weekend are done. The paper sucks and is too short, and the story could be better, but at least they're done!
I'm an American too...
Friday, September 21, 2001
11:20 p.m.
You know what I'm getting really sick of? All the headlines and such that say how Americans feel. According to the media, we're all violently angry and want "justice" and "vengeance" and someone to "pay" for what happened.
Wait a second, I say. I'm an American too, and I don't want any of that.
Yes, it was sick and wrong for a group of terrorists to kill literally thousands of innocents. I can't deny that, and I can't deny that it saddens and angers me. And I can't agree with the methods, but ya know, maybe America did provoke a few people by doing some downright stupid and mean things. And what can be gained by dropping more bombs on people? The death of more innocents. And if we kill more people, we'll only anger more countries and more terrorists groups who will retaliate against us, and then of course we'll have to fight back against them too. Is it obvious to anyone besides me that this is just a vicious cycle? How the hell can we expect the violence to end if we continue to retaliate with violence? I know I've already said this in my previous rant, but I'm just getting so frustrated with it.
I'm a pacifist. I've pretty much always been one - yes, even before I saw Trigun. Consequently, it is almost impossible for me to understand why so many people are out for blood. It just does't make any sense. Is there any real logic in this, or only anger? We can't go to war out of anger; that's stupid. And why do so many people feel threatened by Muslims and Arabs? They're people. They're not so different from any of us. They're people. We're people. It's not that hard to comprehend.
As Goat would say, "Love and peace, dammit!"
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
11:33 a.m.
I'm taping the end of Trigun off my DVD. The initial horror I expressed at the very idea of pirating one of my favorite animes ever faded when I realized that I'm not trying to make a profit off of it - I'm just putting it in the club library so that people who otherwise wouldn't have a chance to watch it can. I really hope none of them decide to tape it themselves, though - that would make me feel horrible. I don't know why I should care so much... I mean, people pirate tapes all the time. It just seems like so many anime fans hate the American anime industry so passionately, and I can't figure out why. If more people purchased anime, the companies would have a higher demand and thus more reason to make quality products. It's true! Oh well.
The other day I was driving home from Wendy's with the second Trigun soundtrack playing in the CD player. I was stopped at a stoplight, eating French fries from the Wendy's bag and not really thinking about anything, when I suddenly realized that "Rakuen" was playing and I was crying. It was startling - I've listened to that track multiple times, and although it always makes me feel a bit somber and nostalgic, I hadn't so much as gotten choked up over it in a long time. Is it weird to get so worked up over characters who don't actually exist and events that never actually happened? Or does it even matter? Zach, a guy I talk to online a lot, thinks it's unhealthy, wheras my boyfriend Alex seems to understand and sympathize. Maybe he's just saying that, but Alex is one of the most honest people I know, and I really appreciate it (even if he occasionally irritates me to no end ^_^*). I'm glad I read Antoine Saint-Exuprey's The Little Prince a while ago, though... now I'll probably never feel weird about getting attached to fictional characters again.
In other news... Yeah, I'm an American, and yeah, our country got attacked by terrorists a week ago today. So why haven't I ranted about it yet? Well, mostly, it's because I haven't been thinking about it all that much. Yes, I'm shocked and horrified that so many people lost their lives - but I am NOT angry enough to want to go to war for it. I am an American, but before that, I'm a human being, and I have absolutely no desire to hurt more innocent humans for the sake of the country I happen to have been born in. The cycle has to end somewhere, why not with us, now? If we keep fighting, we'll just be creating more hate and more violence. People everywhere are hanging up signs and flags saying "I'm Proud To Be An American!" and "God Bless America!". What I want to say is, "Give Peace A Chance".
Why can't we save everyone?
Saturday, September 15, 2001
11:46 a.m.
Well, I messed around, added some links and some info... although seriously... is anyone who doesn't already know me going to read this? Why would a stranger want to read my boring rants, where I gripe about my life? They probably won't, but I like advertising my love for Wolfwood and Beni to the world anyway, I guess. We've got another anime club meeting today - our second. We're going to start watching Trigun; I can only pray we'll go with the subtitled version, since the dub has moments that quite frankly make my skin crawl. There is some really wonderful acting in it, but its low points are VERY low (E.G. Mine! Agh! I cringe at the very memory of his bizarre and unrecognizable accent.)
Apparently Mike, our club president (see Sarah's blog, she surely has some rants about him) wants to make Jason an eboard member. This sort of bugs me, because he had been mentioning the same thing to me earlier. I guess maybe he's still mad that I blew up and called him an ass, but he was being really uptight and deserved it. Anyway, if getting a position means having to suck up to Mike, I really would rather not.
In other news, last night I had a really weird Black Heaven-oriented dream that I blame on playing lots of H games the before bed. It involved Oji in his younger days sleeping with another of the band members, and it was really cool and terribly sexy. The guy ended up dying a lot later - after the band broke up and everything - and Oji was really upset. I wish I could remember the plot in more detail. It was a very well-animated dream, too ^_^* I need to see the second half of that series.
Up and Running
Friday, September 14, 2001
03:23 p.m.
Hurray! My Pitas page is up and running. Okay, okay, so it needs work, but it's HERE, and that's what's important. My friends Sarah and Aaron are always talking about their blogs, so I figured I might as well make one myself... Sometimes I feel as though I need a place to rant. Right now, though, I am very, very hungry, so I will go and let you enjoy the pic of Gojyo and Sanzou almost-kissing. Someone on one of the Saiyuki mailing lists scanned it from a Japanese magazine... I'm not sure who, though, so please forgive me if it's yours. ^_^*
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