What I really Meant to say

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Tee is feeling

home sweet home
Tuesday, August 6, 2002 09:33 p.m.

im home im home im home! however, its unfortunate that for me its like 3:30 in the morning and i havnt slept yet so this is gonna be short! I had such a great time, even tho i complained alot! I cant wait to get my film developed! Well, i cant really stay on to long, but call me up tomorrow, but not too early!!!later

Monday, July 29, 2002 11:20 p.m.

hi guys. it's jo. I finally got my new computer. yeah! sorry tee but i'm gonna take my poems and move out ok. i never write in here anyway. I miss you so much. I left one of your messages on my answering machine and when i get sad i listen to it. It always makes me smile. I can't wait till you bet back. I know your're havin' and awesome time. i love ya always jo.

camp is scary
Monday, July 22, 2002 01:14 p.m.

HEY ALL! its been a crazy week and a bit, ive seen many new things but i kinda miss home. It really cold right now, and really windy, but im glasd its not raining any more.....the food is very different but not nessacerily bad(most of the time).......everyone will be glad to here i got electricuted! (im jk, it was just a big shock) if u really want to know, ill fill u in later! SO ya, im glad everyone is ok out there, ppl prolly wont ceck this till later, but im still checkin my gsbk, so dont be shy! I discovered im just as emotional over here as any where else(go figure), appearently i get homesick very easily! i have my pictures, and someone should inform jo that her poem has made me ball a couple times, but its a good comfort.....it sucks to be so far away, and after camp i wont be able to email quite as much (if at all) so enjoy it while its here i guess, its almost impossible to get a computer cause there are only 8 for about 3500 ppl, so its always fun to get in here.....its crazy here cause everyone always gives instructions in danish and hello...i dont understand....ARG......i dont think my body had caught up with the time yet cause during the day im always so tired but at night i cant sleep(but that may be cause our floors arent attached to the tent.......or maybe its the REALLY lumpy ground...who knows?) so ya, i should prolly go now, its rude to on to long, i know i get annoyed...later days...

goodbye
Saturday, July 13, 2002 01:20 a.m.

wow, today is the day! Altho it still seems like tomorrow cause i havnt slept yet! Oh well, im sewin my badge on my blouse right now! fun fun, and of course tehre wasnt a needle to be found in my house, so guess who had to unpack half her bag to find her sewing kit???? hu?hu? oh well, i guess ill just fix it up when im done.....i really shouldnt be on too long cause i need sleep and all, and i prolly wont get much as it is, so ya....i luv ya all, have a great 25 days! ill miss u all, and just remember if u need someone to listen, u can write me an email...i may be across teh ocean, but they still have the internet....:) anywho, i ll send ppl an email for when i can chat from over there! so i guess thats about it! Later days.....

almost gone
Thursday, July 11, 2002 11:33 p.m.

yet, another entry, altho i really dont have much to say....i had a grat time at dinner, however i think i needed someone to roll me out by the time i as done! Oh well, at lisas game we did some 5 legged racing,......that was interesting! I had such a good time tonight, and it was cool to see everyone b4 i leave again, but the bad part is, is taht it made me realize how much im gonna miss everyone! I know ill have to get past it, and i will, but for the moment i need to be sad.........its cool to see i have alot of friends and they dont hate me! (well if they do they hide it well!)...anywho, i promised myself id keep this short cause i have issues w/ writn too much,so everyone have a sweet ass summer.....ill miss u all, and ill see u when i get back...well have a party and ill show pics and stuff or sumthin! so ya, i prolly write tomorrow or sat, but if not i luv ya all!!!! later days....

smile.....
Wednesday, July 10, 2002 11:44 p.m.

ya, so im in a very awsome mood today, i got some more stuff crossed off my to do list, that always brings a smile to my face!.........Hmmmmmm, i actually got up in time for breakfast this morning! everyone should be very proud of me! I got a visit from vell and we had a good little chat, i also scored a kit list.....then shell came over while i was makin some minor changes on my page...so we hung out.....went to amies and i sewed my sheet...yay....then we went to gustys for some yummy pizza(where i had a good talk w/ rueben in the parkin lot)We then went to the Queens park to eat it.....where the strat. concert band happened to be playin, so we listened to that for a bit, but then we got cold and went back to amies for a bit.......me and shell went to the game(and on the way there we were zig zaggin down the road and i made a new word - whgeez....it was fun, we were both so hyper, singin and doin 2 ppl waves...it was great(and unfortunatly my last game of the season)- ray lost horribly, but it was all good - we had some pretty interesting nose dives for the ball tho! Meh, so here i am, once again, writing another pita and checkin my email......anotehr random quote....."Love is when at 2:00 a.m you wake up from a dream and realize reality!" ...i think this one is cute...and this one is too good not to write....What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.....i think thats a good thing to go by in life, it makes u stop and think for a minute...well it makes me anyways! Well, i should prolly go now, daddy will be home soon, and im once again supposed to be up early, got a day of shoppin ahead of me...and of course my dinner, there will be some high emotions runnin......so ya, 2 days! yikes! ....later days......

better
Tuesday, July 9, 2002 11:19 p.m.

Well, im in a much less depressed mood today, which is always good :) i went and saw men in black 2, it was good for a sequal, but not nearly as good as the first (of course) im just gonna randomly put a quote in right now.... Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others....ya i like that one......so ya, some new occurences in my life....a little major, but i will just have to trust in god (following my own advice to many!) to show me the way he wants me to go, no matter how hard it is to go that way, i know i need to follow thru.......oy......again w/ the me hating change, but im gonna need to get used to it cause when i come back nothins gonna be the same! I talked to vell today (i know, ur all like wow, u talked to someone!-but its a big deal cause shes harder to get a hold of then jo!) anywho, it was interesting to say the least! our convo moved from denmark to health to alchohol, and on and on and on......it was good tho, i missed talkin w/ her(altho im sure ill have enough of her by the end of the trip!;P) i made some new cds the other day, it was exciting........ya i know its pathetic, but i really have nothin better to do, other than try and prepare for denmark......almost 3 days away! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, sorry i just had to get that out of my system...it occured earlier to me that i have no idea how travelin on a plane works......but it looks easy enough on tv(but then again so does yoga, but trust me, its alot harder than it looks!)....oh well, im w. ppl who appearently know what they are doin so yay! Anywho, i have to get off soon cause my dad is makin me get up early! boooooooooooooooooooo, so ya......later days.....

tested.....
Monday, July 8, 2002 01:53 a.m.

ive got it all figured out, im bein tested! I leave in like 5 days now, and i have to make sure everything is cool with everybody before i go,........its the only reasonable explaination........ it should prove interesting......the thought has occured to me that there is a very small possiblity that i wont return from my trip......and to be blunt, im cool w/ that...it would be wonderful to go to heaven and spend an eterninty w/ god(no pian, unending love and praise)-u get the point......but i think i know im comin back,......there are way too many ppl i would miss, and too many im afraid i wont ever see again if i die,(although i dont know if im much help w/ that, ive loved god for how many yrs, and how many ppl have i helped realize the truth?) plus, i hardly think ive left anything behind worth bein proud of....i doubt my mission(whatever it is) has been completed(however, it might just be that i should die so everyone can learn somthin...everything happens for a reason)...and so altho i crave to fix everything and to come back to a picture perfect world where everything is happy and everyone loves everyone, i know this wont happen, and im bound to say (or write) somthin stupid b4 my 5 days are up, and ill come back in august to someone who has added me to their "needs to die soon list", so to anyone i may have offended, confused, or messed up, by this entry or any thing else i may have said or done in the past present or future......please know im really really sorry.....the last thing in the world i want to do is hurt anyone.....anyways now that ive confused eveyone, including myself, by jumpin around so much(i cant even follow it- but its what is goin thru my head right now,and thats what pitas r for right?), im gonna go to bed,cause its late and im bout ready to pass out(prolly from all the fumes i inhale at work, or maybe its from tryin to figure out everthing when thats not my job...i need to be more patient and obediant-perhaps thats the lesson)...so ya, sorry again...later days...

im so stupid
Saturday, July 6, 2002 11:57 p.m.

well, today started sooo good, and ended in crap.....first of all it was payday, that makes life good, then i walked into a room who left me a nice little tip of 3$, that kicked, then someone didnt use the shower...which means i didnt have to clean it, that ruled.......so i finished work and left singin and happy and bein just like me.....got home showered fixed myself up to be as presentable as i was willing to look today and made some phone calls.......i ended up going over to jos around 3:30 i beleive, and had to wait for them (jo and shelley) to get there, even tho i called in advance and they told me that they were on their way back (they were at the mall and its like a 10 min walk-compared to my 30 min bike ride)so i sat outside claened my purse out and basically wasted 1/2 an hour......ya so they finally showed up and we ended up just sitting around for a while, soon after we made an interesting dinner out of a jar of salsa, a hamburger patty, a green pepper, some bowtie pasta, an orange and an apple....it was certainly a lesson in using what u got......so dinner went well as did the rest of the evening until stuff got screwy, and of couse im goin to be inspecific b/c thats how i am.....if only i wasnt as dumb as i am, or stopped hoping for the impossible, if only....... very few ppl understand what happened tonight, i unfortunatly am just as confused.......things were said, half truths and such, maybe whole lies.....but u can never be sure.......trust is a gift i am all but too willing to hand out, sometimes it flourishes into something wonderful, but it normally ends up back in my face....oh well, everything has a purpose, maybe this will end like a fairy tale...happily ever after....but of course true happiness will only come after i die and am brought back home to my true father where there is no pain or suffering......now im goin all "love god" on u, but too bad, cause thats who i am so deal w/ it...so now that ive gone totally off topic on u all and prolly scared u alot, im goin to end in stating the fact that i still feel like i need to vomit, perhaps just to purge evil thoughts from my body (or perhaps it was the salsa, i dont know) What i do know is that i need sleep and i have work in the morning, which leads me to the conclusion its time for me to leave....i wish i ahd happier things to write about, i dislike being so blah, but i guess u just have to roll w/ the punches....besides, this time next week, ill be out of everyones hair.....later days....

Thoughts:
Weeeeeeeeeeeee, Cool beans, Whoooo hoooooo, eeeeeeeeep

Bible Verses:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also Matthew 6:21

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 Poems by Jo:
Buried six feet under, Have you ever been this deep? Have you ever been this lonely? Lost secrets that you keep. Left hopeless in the dark, Bitten raw by hate. Consume you till they win. Get out, but its too late. Beaten even weaker, When they should have held you strong. Thought they could be trusted, Proven you were wrong. Wipe away your tears, wash the painful memorie gone. Lift up your head and smile, and know your moving on.

The impossible

She wants the impossible/A love that wont die/ An unsinkable ship/She wants to fly...But nothing is possible/everything dies/Ships sink/And he tells her lies...She wants the impossible/Wants to trust and be safe/An impenitable wall/With him is her palce...But this isnt possible/Shes scared and alone/Walls breakdown/W/ no place to call home...She wants the impossible/To be loved for real/An unbreakable heart/This is how she feels...But perfect love is impossible/Pain outwieghs pleasure/Hearts become broken/She should have known better...She needs the impossible/Wants to find her soulmate/Wants love to find her/Before its too late

Tragedy

No one knows y/It doesnt seem real/It cant be like this/How should i feel/Should i fill up w/ rage/For those who did this/Should i mourn and cry/For those who'll be missed/What cold make a person/Resort to take life/Disregard others/ Give pain, cause strife/Its a part of life that/I dont understand/Disagreeing violence/The fight btn man.