Ten Buck Fucks

I got my copy of Hard Core Logo last week and in my usual obsessiveness, I've watched it every day since, sometimes twice a day. I am not ashamed of my compulsion, it is a work of art and deserves such devotion. But when I watched it again last night, something happened. I realized that everytime I've watched it, I couldn't take my eyes off Billy. Now this is no surprise to anyone that knows me, I have a huge case of hot panties for Callum Keith Rennie. But last night when I watched, I decided to pay attention to Joe. And I was blown away. It was like watching the movie all over again for the first time. I had missed so much of the emotion pouring out of Joe, the hurt and the lust and the love just written all over his face. The way he never takes his eyes off of Billy on stage for more than a few moments. It's so easy to see that Billy is the sun Joe revolves around. And at the very end, after Billy turns to walk away, this look of sheer pain flickers across Joe's face for just a second. Its a flawless performance, and I just love that Hugh Dillon isn't just an actor, he's a real live punk singer. I'm in absolute awe of him now. I'm buying Headstones CD's just to listen to his voice.

And as I make my way through Ten Buck Fucks I'm remembering why I have a hard time flitting back and forth between fandoms. Once I start reading the dark, angsty flavored fan-fic, I find it difficult to go back to reading the sweet and schmoopy. I can't read something like First Come, First Served by Aristide and Amy B and then go read some Fraser-and-Ray-live-happily-ever-after DS story. It's distressing to find myself squicked by stories I loved last week. But I'm going to run out of HCL slash shortly, and then what will I do? Maybe the answer is just drown myself in schmoopy DS slash until I like it again. Or maybe a DS mini-marathon so I can get back into Ray and Fraser head space again.

I'll be posting a bunch of HCL slashrecs soon next door.