They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. --Benjamin Franklin







Untitled
Saturday, August 21, 2004 07:10 p.m.


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Chew on This
Tuesday, August 17, 2004 05:25 p.m.


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It's Been Awhile
Thursday, August 12, 2004 03:43 p.m.

One last thing...my sister had her baby daughter yesterday, so I'm an uncle now. Congratulations Chelsea!
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Universal Church of Meth
Tuesday, August 3, 2004 05:07 p.m.

This is why I am proud to be from the Great State we call North Dakota.
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You will read and you will enjoy
Saturday, July 31, 2004 12:56 a.m.

  • "This madness has to stop, and the fastest way of doing that is to elect John Kerry, not because he will be different but because in most key areas... he will be just as bad" This is an interesting opinion article about the upcoming election.
  • To go along with that...
  • This is exactly what's wrong with our country today. The American people are too closed minded. And, talking about the article, regardless of what the council members thought, that was pretty damn disrespectful. "...that the invocation violated the separation of church and state. ..." If all of the members agreed to do it every morning than no big deal, but then they should have been prepared to allow something like this. Just stupid.
  • Here are your sports stories for the day. Mike Tyson is now officially washed up. It's kind of sad, in that ear-munching sort of way. And shooting 290 over par? Man that guy sucks.
  • This is for Phil. I thought he might find it interesting.
  • I don't care if you hate me for saying it, but you gotta love Fidel Castro.
  • "I don't want you pulling an Uzi from your turban." Sound like a joke? What if you were an Arab college student taking pictures of your college and the Secret Service told you that? I must applaud our secret service though. I mean it must take tons of training to learn that terrorists walk around in turbans, purposefully attracting attention to themselves. And then to take action on it. Bravo!
  • Inappropriate or not? You decide. My one question is this: If these were in poor taste, why were they displayed in the first place?
  • Though I haven't seen it on any big online news sources, some minor ones are reporting that Zarqawi has been captured in Iraq. The report says, "The captive said his group operates mainly in west Iraq and a small faction of the group scatters around Baghdad and southern Iraq. He also revealed the hideouts of some members and ways of their communications" It might just be me, but I don't think he would have given up all that information quite so readily, and if it is true, why isn't the American media jumping on this? Even Fox News doesn't have it.
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Here a Bush There a Bush
Sunday, July 25, 2004 08:41 p.m.

DAILY REASON TO DISPATCH BUSH
DAY 41:
In March 2001 President Bush withdrew U.S. participation in the Kyoto Protocol on global warming. The protocol is a multinational agreement initiated in 1997, designed to reduce the amount of greenhouse gas emissions each participating nation produces. 125 countries have ratified the agreement or asked to participate.
The President did not notify any other nations that the U.S. was about to pull out of the agreement. The United States produces 25 percent of the world's greenhouse gases.
His explanation to foreign leaders: "I went to dinner with fifteen leaders of the EU, and patiently sat there as all fifteen in one form or another told me how wrong I was. And at the end I said, 'I appreciate your point of view, but this is the American position because it's right for America.'"
Brought to you by McSweeney's. It's weird that Nicole also just beat me in linking to McSweeney's. Though I know way too many reasons to get rid of Bush, they have plenty of them nice and typed out for easy access. It's quite convenient. I don't know about you, but I'm an American, and backing out of the Kyoto protocol is not my position and it is by no means right for me. Asshole.

I recently sent a letter to Bush about his stance on same sex marriage. In return I recieved a basic form letter signed by one of his secretaries stating the obvious, that he is against same-sex marriage. What got me is that the letter also said that he, "believes that every American has the right to be treated fairly, with dignity, and respect, regardless of their sexual orientation."
Seriously, why the hypocrisy? He doesn't want fair treatment for homosexuals at all. He doesn't want them to have the right to marry each other (I would go more, but I've done that so many times before) and he doesn't want sexual orientation added on to hate crime legislation. I really don't like this guy.We all know what he wants to say and what he truly believes, and yet he continues to skirt around so many issues.

Democratic National convention is this week. Kerry is supposed to be laying down groundwork for a new campaign strategy. Allegedly, the atacks on Bush will be diminished and he will focus more on trying to show us that he can be a good leader himself. (To his dismay, Osama bin Laden is caught a week before the election. Though Bush still does not win, the Supreme Court hands the presidency to him yet again.)
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Jib Jab
Tuesday, July 20, 2004 07:11 p.m.

On Saturday, July 17th, I posted a link to a Jib Jab cartoon. Apparently it has become huge and was even on the nightly news with Tom Brokaw. Their site is actually down right now due to the high volume of traffic that has been going through. Anyway, congratulations to the two guys who started the site, who until now haven't really received much notice or made too much money off of the site.

Additionally, I found this mock election. Apparently Michael Badnarik and the Libertarian Party are going to clean house in November. Since I first saw it, Kerry and the Democrats have made a surge in popular vote, and the Republicans, led by George Bush, look screwed. Then again these things tend to be overrun by non-Republicans. Ralph Nader is clinging to Wyoming, though on the whole Michael Peroutka and the Constitution Party have a higher percentage of the vote over all. Meanwhile, things look grim for David Cobb and the Green Party. I must say though, that if elections were based on the layout of the party's website, the Personal Choice Party would win in a landslide.

Take some time to browse through these links, or go to Politics1 for a more visually pleasing layout. They have pics of the candidates and more links. Choose your candidate wisely this year. Don't make an uneducated vote. I hate to hear when people are planning on voting, but don't know anything about who they're voting for. It defeats the purpose of the system (though it does have it's problems.)

Also, my unscientiffic survey results: Of about twelve e-mails sent out I got three replies. One for Kerry, one for Bush, and one undecided. Hardly ,if any, attention has been paid to the media and few of the recent publications on the different sides of this years battle have been read. Though it is a small sample, I think it is pretty good vew of what's going on now, and how close of a race this one's going to be. Thanks to those of you who participated.
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Story Time
Monday, July 19, 2004 11:22 p.m.

Respond to this post with a story, comment, quote, link, or anything else that's funny, interesting, shocking, or repulsive.
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Inversely Eating a Turkey
Saturday, July 17, 2004 11:16 a.m.

Here's a list of crap. I am done.
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Minor Changes
Monday, July 12, 2004 06:04 p.m.

Okay. I just added somewhat of a link-to feature so you can link to individual posts if you think something is worthy of it. This is in response to a few compliments I received on the last post. It means a lot and I thank you. If you haven't read it yet, feel free to check it out. Anyway, here are some additional links for your miniscule pleasure.
  • Preview of the Cheney/Kerry debates. Slightly humorous, but not worth the registration if you don't already have one.
  • this makes me sad. Slightly long, but definitely wrth it. I start to despise "Homeland Security" more and more each day. What have they done for us since it was formed? They've given us two things. #1) We have a useless terror warning scale. We'll never see green. Probably never see blue. We see yellow everyday, so we ignore it. If we see orange we have pretty much come to realize that that is when we are probably the safest. And if we see red, then it's too late and we're screwed. And #2) we have a lot more racial discrimination. Thank you DHS.
  • Here is your bit of humor for the day.
  • Kind of a moot point now. But how bad will it be this year?
  • Okay, I lied. Here's some more humor for today.
  • Aside from the economy, the lies about the war, the environment, the Patriot Act, his unshaking backing of Israel and apparent unwillingness to work withthe Palestinians, his Vice President, his ties to big business, his apparent inability to speak on his own, his apparent lack of care for major issues (because his golf game is more important,) the fact he has the incumbent advantage without ever actually being elected (thanks Nicole) and No Child Left Behind here is one of the main reasons why I will not vote for Bush in November.
I love you. Yeah you.
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Condensed History of Modern Religion
Saturday, July 10, 2004 10:51 a.m.

Earlier this week, the UN's International Court ruled 14-1 that the Israeli's should dismantle their alleged "security" wall. The decision is non-binding and Israel had said even before the decision that they would not go along with it. (Though why should they listen to the UN, when their biggest ally won't?) By the way, the one member of the Court to dissent...The United States. And we will never go along with any international condemnation of Israel's actions because the condemnation "never includes Hamas or Hezbollah."
I'll admit that what those groups shouldn't do the things they are doing, but to not condemn Israel for its contributions to the bloody mess over there is sad.
Isarael has a long history of, well wait, Israel has only been in existence for a little over 50 years. The Jews and Arabs and Christians have had quite a history. The story goes something like this:

Way back in biblical times the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt. Why were they enslaved? They were having too many kids. (The pharaoh was scared that they would number too many and oppose him.) One day Moses took them out of Egypt and 40 years later they ended up in "God's promised land." The problem here is that they themselves had to kick other people out of that land in order to live there. So they did this, by destroying the home to a bunch of innocent people who had no idea who these guys were, and then lived there for a few centuries. 600 BC roles around and the Babylonians come knocking. Most of the Jews are enslaved and taken away.

Fast forward about 500 years and the Romans are hanging around. They have taken control of the area, and though they are not nice to the Jews (taxes etc.), they aren't entirely oppressive, and for the most part let the Jews live their lives. Jesus is born, grows up and is killed by his fellow Jews for being heavily involved in what we now call terrorism. His fellow terrorists begin spreading his word and Christianity is born. At the same time the Jewish begin in uprising and in about 66 AD are defeated and booted out of the country. Jews are banned from Jerusalem and Judea, though some stay in the area under strict regulation and control.

Over the next few centuries the Jewish population decreases more and more due emigration and conversion to that terrorist guy's religion and to a new religion that had recently popped up, Islam, which was founded by a guy with a big sword. You see, the sword guy's religion was spreading like wild fire. In fact while he was still alive he went to Jerusalem to spread his religion and to retire, but little did he know that he would die there on a rock.

According to legend, this sword guy was actually pretty holy, so his god, Hallah, wanted to take his whole body up into heaven, and he went about doing that. Unfortunately, that rock the sword guy died on had become good friends with the guy and wanted to go to heaven too, so it started folllowing. To his dismay, Hallah said he was just a rock and couldn't come. So the rock just stayed floating there in thin air.

The sword guy's buddies were pretty amazed, but pretty scared too, because if that rock fell on somebody, it could hurt them quite a bit; kill them actually. So they built this giant dome around it to keep people from walking under it. They used a bunch of gold in it too, making it into somewhat of a temple to the sword guy and Hallah. You may have heard of it. It's now called concidentally, "The Dome of the Rock."

This didn't make a lot of people happy. The Jews were all like, "Hey that's my holy land! G-d gave it to us!" And the terrorists were all like, "Hey my savior was born there! It's our holy land!" But the swordsmen didn't care, because their good friend Mohammad died there.

Well, a few centuries down the road, some of the terrorists thought to themselves, "You know, we live pretty richly over here in Europe, but those pesky swordsmen have our holy land. Let's go kill abunch of them and take it back." So they did just that. They killed a bunch of swordsdmen and took control of the land. Many of their own were also killed in the fierce battles. Not too long after that, the swordsmen had built themselves up a bit and came back. Led by some guy named after a salad or a saltine, wait Saladin, that was it, they regained the land. This is how it stayed for nearly a 1000 years.

During that time the Jews had spread to much of Europe, and had gotten kicked out of many of those places. It was really hard for them to keep down a place. I guess they just kept forgeting to pay rent or something. The terrorists also started moving around Europe quite a bit. In fact one crazy terrorist took off on a boat for the edge of the world in a suicide mission, but ended up finding a whole new land. "What a great place to spread some propa-- the word," he thought. He went back to Europe to tell everyone about what he had discovered. They were astounded and word of the discovery spread to all corners of continent. Meanwhile, up on an island just of the north coast of the continent, there was a squabble between some the terrorists. Some wished to do things one way while others wished to do it another way. The smaller of the two groups decided that it just wasn't worthit to argue any more so they left t o go to this "New Land." They lived there for a while, but the terrorists on the island back home were still harassing them, so the smaller groupof terrorists decided to make their own country, where terrorists would be free to do as they please and have whatever opinions they wanted about the terrorist who started it all. After a bit of a war they were let go, and began spreading throughout the new land.

As they were growing, an idea in the minds of Jews was growing: "What if we could go back to our holy land?" So gradually more and more of them started moving back there, to a land they had never seen, since, well they hadn't lived there for a thousand years. Then this one guy was shot and the whole world started fighting over it. Jews, terrorists, and swordsmen. The terrorists in the new land tried to stay out of it, but in the end had to keep Europe from totally destroying itself. With the altercation over, That island from before took control of the holy land.

By then, there was a almost equal population of Jews and swordsmen in the area, and many disputes popped up. Tearing a page out of the terrorists own book, the Jews even started attacking the terrorists from the island. In the meantime, this one terrorist with an ugly moustache, set out to destroy the Jews, because obviously they were the root of all his problems, even his sexual fetish for being urinated on. He also tried to take control of other terrorist controlled lands away from those terrorists. Finally the new land terrorists joined up withthe islander terrorists to to beat the ugly terrorist.

The islander terorists realized they were no longer the number one world power and decided to get rid of most of their vacation property around the world, in particular the holy land. They had to decide who to give this area to. Their options were either to give it to the swordsmen who already had been living there for well over a thousand years, or to give it to the Jews, who now had an eerie resemblance to the terrorists, that had only been living there for 50 years or so, and also to let the newly homeless Jewish terrorists from Europe come live there. They decided to go with the Jewish terrorists since they were more similar to themselves.

This made the swordsmen pretty angry, so all the swordsmen from the countries all around there attacked the Jewish terrorists. The one thing they forgot to realize was that in all the time that the new land terrorists were isolating themselves, they had developed soem decent technology, and sold it to the Jewish terrorists. With that new technology the Jewish terrorists were easily able to win their country. From time to time the Jewish terrorists took out that page they had stolen from the terrorists' book, and slowly the difference between the two became less and less until it was gone.

The swordsmen soon realized that if they ever wanted a chance at getting their land back, they would also need to take a page out of the terrorists' book. With that accomplished, they began using their newly learned skills, and even mastered them better than all the other terrorists. Soon the other terrorists were scared of the new terrorists, and were trying to stop their form of terrorism from spreading by using their own form of terrorism.

And now the world is in chaos, with each brand of terrorism trying to out do the other, all while claiming that their terrorism is in the name of their respective deity.
"God says you are evil and you must be killed!"
"G-d gave us this land so you must be killed!"
"Hallah says you are infidels so you must die!"

Which deity will win? Which brand of terrorism is going to win? Any of them? Are these the only three brands of terrorism that will be, or are there more to come?
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