| Tuesday, April 17, 2001 04:20 p.m. PST |
| i used to go to shows. way back in fall quarter, i had the crazy idea that i'd be able to actually make friends at indie shows and get involved in "the scene" and hopefully form a band, since i'd recently obtained a car. unfortunately, i sorely overestimated my own social skills, which seemed pretty comparable to the other scenesters'. as far as the rock fans at stanford go. . . well, i'm not going to get in to that again. but the result has been that i haven't been to a show all year, not counting the one show i played with lurve right before i came back to california in january.
i only mention all this because i'm going to see the toadies on sunday evening. not that i have any huge affinity for mid-90s one-hit-wonder alt-rock, but enon is opening up for them. now, anyone who knows me knows of my profound love of this band, as they produced the #2 album on my top 10 of last year. i had the privilege of being blown away by them live last year at home in north carolina, and i'm very much looking forward to a new but similarly earsplitting experience. i managed to get robert the indie-rock hater to come along simply because he loves the toadies' first record. i imagine they'll be passable live.
robert also convinced me to spend $20 to see the orb in a couple weeks. now i'm not the hugest alex paterson fan, nor do i hugely dig ravers or the substances they abuse, but rob said it'd be fun. i suppose it'll be an interesting study in human subculture, but then so is my every excursion into the outside world.
for any of you dying to know the resolution of yesterday's melodrama. . . well, to be succinct, nothing happened. she wasn't there. perhaps she's not taking the class, maybe she just skipped that day; at any rate i've since stopped caring. i was being pretty ridiculous sunday evening, did you notice? |
| Monday, April 16, 2001 01:38 a.m. PST |
| i have to do something i *really* don't want to do tomorrow. well, i should say that it's something i feel like i have no choice about, because i could simply opt not to do it. but that's not going to happen. i hadn't seen or spoken to her in over a month, and now she's in one of my classes. we were never anything but friends, and neither of us ever wanted anything more, but she made it clear at one point that she wasn't comfortable in my presence. fine, i said; nice knowin' ya, have a nice life. three weeks later she emailed me back describing a bout with depression and how the cherished, undying devotion of her "real" friends helped her recover, or something to that effect. the old me would have fired back some acrimonious message replete with accusations, insults and acrimony; instead, i ended up not doing anything, and that was the last i heard from her until now.
now, fate has once again placed us in the same physical space. and i'm going to say hello and attempt to start a conversation when i see her tomorrow. what happens subsequently will depend on her. i'd love to say i'm not emotionally invested in the outcome, but i am, and not because of how i feel about her. my mother saw the problem clearly: in the stories this girl told me, i saw things i've wanted for what seems like forever but have been unable to obtain. affection, admiration, love: but in her words they sounded twisted, maimed and distorted into gut-wrenching yearnings pierced occasionally by injections of ecstacy. she made me want to avoid her mistakes, but more importantly, to stop hearing about how she couldn't stop screwing up for love. i found it disgusting. i passed judgment on her as weak-willed and codependent, and in so doing judged myself as the same. because the sour encounters she described resonated with what i'd endured in high school; but what made me jealous was the fact that she'd elicited some degree of reciprocation, whereas thus far i have not. that fact pissed me off then, and still does now, as i'm thinking about it.
so that's where i'm at, so to speak. we'll see what happens tomorrow. i'm confident it'll only be a one-time encounter, but hey, i underestimate people all the time. it's a vice. |
| Sunday, April 15, 2001 05:11 p.m. PST |
| moment of silence time, people: punk godfather joey ramone is dead today at age 49 after succumbing to lymphatic cancer.
. . .
in death, jeffrey hyman's apotheosis to rock godhood is complete. now, go forth and deify him accordingly. |
| Thursday, April 12, 2001 06:10 p.m. PST |
| sorry for not updating last night. i had a nice 18-hour bout with depression, courtesy of one of those lllovely opposite-sex friends you'd like to believe don't exist but every so often rear their gorgeous heads. the pathetic part is i didn't even speak to her (she may not have even seen me), but i still felt like crap the rest of the day. and i don't even really like her, fr chrissakes! i never did! but for some reason the mere sight of her brought me pretty far down. figure that out.
anyway, i took the tip from usagainstthem last night and checked out the mp3s they pointed to recently. unfortunately, i was less than overwhelmed by the sample cut by the beauty pill, the new side project by two smart went crazy alums. the songcraft wasn't super-impressive, nor were the sounds, which are more new-wave meets indie-pop (handclaps and keyboards) than the skewy artcore that everyone loved about swc. but i'll wait to hear the entire record before i get all superjudgmental.
the new mercury program shit will appeal to anyone who dug their last record, like for example me. i wasn't as ga-ga over from the vapor as pitchfork made it sound like all its fans were, but it's a pretty cool chillout disc when the lights are low and you're just relaxin'. but i wanna tell ya, the new burning airlines has me quite excited. the track, "paper crowns," sees j. robbins & co. injecting more classic pop accoutrements into the angular dissonance that dc's known for. it's definitely more lighthearted than anything off mission: control, but still much harder-edged than, say, "the deluxe war baby." so my expectations have been duly whetted. the juno track is good but undistinguished. i'm having a hard time recalling it just now. . . but i'm definitely gonna score that split ep next time i go recordshopping. ohyea. |
| Monday, April 9, 2001 11:25 p.m. PST |
| allright. i just realized my old guestbook didn't work. so i recently obtained a new, functional one. if you tried to sign it earlier, please do your ol' webmaster a huge favor and do it again. your continued patronage is appreciated greatly, and any feedback you may have on my songs (positive or negative) would be just wonderful to hear. TIA, people.
my mom's performing in the city this sunday evening, and i've got five comp spots, three of which have been filled. so that means i'm going to the house email list for random takers. we'll see if anyone's up for an early evening on the town with three weirdos. whatever though; it's good music, it should draw at least two brave vocal jazz aficionados. i predict it'll be an evening to recall. |
| Monday, April 9, 2001 12:51 a.m. PST |
| once again the time has come for me, the blogger, to dictate artistic taste to you, the reader. my subject this evening is no wave/sonic youth revivalists blonde redhead, who've gone unnoticed by me for far too long. this fact becomes even more puzzling when you consider that a) they're squarely up my noisepoppy, atonal alley, and b) two of my acquaintances are passionate br devotees. so i recently discovered while listening to usagainstthem radio (a great, eclectic listen, btw) that they rock pretty damn well in the vein of sonic youth and polvo. plus, they're nice and pretentious with the song titles 'n stuff! trouble is, they've got four records out, and i don't know where to start. i'll consult with the experts, make a few choice purchases, and report the results here.
also, i'm thinking of starting a shoutcast station sometime down the road. it'd be a good way to export my musical tastes and increase my hits. i have the network privileges to get another ip address, so all i need is a good box to dedicate as a server. i'll see if my dad can donate one this summer. |
| Saturday, April 7, 2001 10:58 p.m. PST |
| i bring tidings of new toonage: specifically, a new track called "strident" that i dedicate to a friend of mine who's working her ass off for the scene. now that's dedication. (and that was a protracted attempt at humor.)
in the next couple days i'll be trimming the fat from my song list to get rid of the tracks i'm not really proud of. i'll also be updating the listener's guide for real this time (for the two of y'all that read it) and posting the latest lyrics. and one of these days i'll get back to discussing real music. if you're lucky.
oh yeah, and the archive works now, too. |
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