Super upcoming events!
February
nothing, to my knowledge
Right this second
CD:
Vibrate You, King Adora
Famous Person:
Richey James Edwards
Food:
Two Apricots
Television:
Angel
Movie:
LoTR: The Two Towers
Video:
My Own Private Idaho
Playlist
The Archive (old stuff)
Archive 1
Archive 2
Archive 3
Archive 4
Archive 5
Archive 6
Archive 7
Archive 8
Archive 9
Archive 10
Archive 11
Archive 12
Archive 13
Good Links
Television Without Pity
House of Brian
Neopets
Mm... Ewan...
Zelda, and her rarecandy
An outlet for my rambling
US Survival Tips for Aussies
The Evils of Scientology
email:woah_intense@hotmail.com
No, there will be no mailto: tags involved, because they piss me off.
What is this?...
My heart longs for Samurai Pizza Cats :: Ah, Nostalgia
Mullets. Why?
My Song Ż Hallelujah
Viva! Androgyny
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My thoughts in a tangible format, accompanied by pictures that don't belong to me and come from all over the place.
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Thursday, February 13, 2003 04:19 a.m.
I got the fucking Manics' Forever Delayed DVD. Every music video they ever made, all mine. It was the best $27.95 I ever spent. Of course, when I bought it I didn't even know if I could play it on our Playstation 2 (a whole big old TV problem), and also had to keep it a secret because Mum thought I had no money (it's how I got her to pay for the movies) so I went to Candice's and watched it there. We screamed and squealed a lot, even though I hate when people do that. But the second video of You Love Us? Best. Thing. Ever. I mean that.
So then after being moved almost to tears by that experience I came home, found out that it does work on the Playstation, then started reading my Manics NME Originals issue, which I've had for two months but couldn't read because it was locked in Mum's house while she was away. So I'm reading, reading, and I start sobbing hysterically when I get to the articles about how sick Richey was getting, and then the ones after he left. But I got over that, and got on the computer, just to read that the guitar James is playing in the Kevin Carter video is Richeys. Started. Crying. Again. Partly because I was so angry at myself for not noticing, but also because that is a beautiful thing for James to do for a song Richey wrote. God I'm pathetic. But I'm insanely in love too. The End.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 08:09 a.m.
Currently listening to: Material Girl, Madonna
I'm finally doing it! I'm finally seeing The Two Towers for the third time, having waited a hell of a long time. Oh, the slash potential. And Legolas! And... mmm... Aragorn... Yummy. Ew, I hate when people do that, what am I, some sort of sick freak? Wait, yes! So maybe I'll start saying that more often. The End.
Monday, February 10, 2003 02:40 a.m.
Currently listening to: Captain Planet theme song
Well, I finally saw Donnie Darko, having missed out on seeing it at the one cinema in all of South-East Queensland that was showing it several months ago. Excellent, sweethearts. Although now I'm scared to look out the window in case I see an evil rabbit.
Friday, February 7, 2003 10:39 p.m.
Currently listening to: Montana, Miss Black America
Ok, I lied. One more quiz...
You are a Harry & Draco Shipper!
!!!~What Harry Potter Fan Fic Ship Are You?~!!!
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, February 7, 2003 10:13 p.m.
Currently listening to: assorted Manics tunes
I've been doing quizes today. I couldn't be bothered posting any other result things (although I'm apparently 46% gay; that's unexpected) but I just had to mention one particular result. I was doing this slut test, and had to enter one guy in all of history I'd most want to get "intimate" with. My obvious answer was Mr Richey. Then at the end of the test it gave interesting statistics about other peoples answers. Apparently four hundred and thirty-eight other people chose Richey as well. Isn't that brilliant?! Wait, I just went back and added his middle name, and fifty-six women had used that. He's ever so popular, my pretty one. The End.
Friday, February 7, 2003 04:18 p.m.
You're a decent Manics fan. Be proud. Not many
people can accomplish this.
What kind of Manic Street Preachers fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I guess I am kind of normal, compared to what I've heard about other Manics fans. But Richey is in my closet.
Thursday, February 6, 2003 03:42 p.m.
Currently listening to Hands Down, Dashboard Confessional (someone kill me...)
Damn, but I do love my Richey. I just found out that he used to think eating kiwi fruit got you sober. How adorably naive... I love ya, pretty. The End.
Wednesday, February 5, 2003 02:08 a.m.
Currently listening to: Fairytale of New York, The Pogues
Mmm... This is my happy, epiphany song. How many people can say they have an epiphany song? Not many, I'll bet. But I do, and this is it. This is the song I had on repeat the night after I ended up in hospital because of my sorta-suicide attempt (but not really because I wasn't actually trying to die), and I realised that I could, in fact, live without Ricky. So this song still makes me happy.
My sleep and eating patterns are more fucked up than they've ever been. For the last two days I've gone to bed around 3am and have slept for twelve freakin' hours. Who sleeps for that long? And especially until three in the afternoon?! As for the food thing, it's hard to eat when there's very little food in the house. I'm as sick of yoghurt-topped muesli bars as anyone ever was.
I don't know why I write here anymore. I know for a fact that no one's reading it, because my best friend was the only one who did, and she no longer has internet access. The only reason I can think of that I continue to write is out of habit. It has been about sixteen months, after all. It's fun to go back and read what I was like that long ago. Fun.
I'm very depressed over my shitty, shitty life. Yet there's a tiny spark of shiny happiness; the new Placebo album comes out in March. Ah, Brian. Oh, Oh Brian. Fuck yeah. The End.
Tuesday, February 4, 2003 11:47 p.m.
Currently listening to: Northern Lad, Tori Amos
I went to see Frida with my Mum and some of her friends from work tonight. I hate being the age I am very much now, because I'm expected to include myself in conversations and really don't want to. But hey, if going out means being with Mum's friends, I'll deal with it. Because I feel so isolated at the moment that anything is better than nothing. And besides, it was a very good movie. Since we learned so much about Frida Kahlo in art at school it's interesting to see the story we were told like it might have happened.
I went to see Women in Docs with Mum and Candice on Saturday. I like them a lot, but they never do my favourite songs of theirs. Every time I see them I'm disappointed. Come to think of it, The Waifs never do my favourites of theirs either. Why does everyone have to make me sad? The End.
Saturday, February 1, 2003 12:47 a.m.
Currently listening to: Sepia, Manic Street Preachers, because...
...Today is Richey's 8 year anniversary. He's been on that vacation in Nebraska (which is so not funny anymore, by the way) for eight years now. I miss you, pretty one. Not that I knew you then, but you know what I mean. My passion for you became less obsessive for a while, but fuck Ricky. I'll take loving you over him now, any day. Love you. Happy Anniversary. The End.
Thursday, January 30, 2003 02:58 p.m.
Currently listening to: Don't Dream It, from Rocky Horror Picture Show
He never came. Not that I was expecting him to, after this long. But last night I somehow got it into my head that he'd be here today. He wasn't, of course. I'm an idiot. Of course. We already knew that, didn't we.
It's too, too hot.
Saturday, January 25, 2003 11:50 p.m.
Currently listening to: Marianne, Tori Amos
I've avoided writing anything here for quite a while, now. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I didn't want to say it. Last Wednesday I got into a very bad situation. Though it wasn't my fault, I certainly didn't put much effort into stopping it. And though Rach has forgiven me for it (or so she says) it still doesn't change the fact that I'm fundamentally a bad person.
The following day (Thursday) I saw Ricky for the first time in nine days. He was perfect. Better than the last six weeks we were together. While we watched tennis on TV, he stroked my hair. Such a simple thing, but something that would have made me so very happy when we were together. And he told me things he shouldn't have; that he was stupid for having tried to change me, that he made a mistake, that he wishes things were the way they used to be. We spoke of the things we used to do that were funny, lay side by side, mouths touched. He told me that when Mum returned home and I was back in Buderim he'd visit. It's been five days. He hasn't visited.
I've seen no one since I saw Candice at Big Day Out last Sunday (marvellous, by the way; Foo Fighters, Jane's Addiction, PJ Harvey, Queens of the Stoneage, The Waifs for the second time in two days, marvellous) so I spend every waking hour obsessing over why he never came. I'm angry, more than anything. I was over him three weeks ago. So he just had to ruin that by being all perfect, and the way I wanted him to be when we were together. But I can't get back with him, even if he wants to. Not after Nicky's honesty: "He's a player, Liz. After you broke up he got over it really quickly." I trust her, too. Because that's pretty much what everyone else is saying too. But that doesn't make this easier.
Saturday, January 18, 2003 02:43 a.m.
Currently listening to: Superman, Eminem
An official date has finally been set for the release of the fifth Harry Potter book, The Order of the Pheonix. What is this, the tenth apparent release date? Anyway, it's meant to be out on June 21st. I hope it is.
Let's talk about Anna's friend Chris now. Chris that told Anna two days ago that he was gay and not bisexual like he was claiming. Chris who then changed his mind again yesterday and spent the whole Dirty Lucy/The Waifs show hitting on me in a really creepy way. I mean, I usually would assume that I wasn't being hit on, but there was no mistaking it. Sure he looks like a smaller version of Jonnie Rhys Meyers, but I really would have prefered it if he hadn't kept touching me. The End.
Friday, January 17, 2003 02:20 p.m.
Currently listening to: The Night I Fell In Love, Pet Shop Boys
Well, I've had an unusual couple of days. I don't really want to talk about the first half, but in the second half Ricky told me he thinks he made a mistake, and wants to know whether I want things to go back to the way things were. I didn't answer. What am I meant to say?
Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:20 p.m.
Currently listening to: Putting the Damage On, Tori Amos
Finally a week since I went to Nicky's, I had something else to do. Candice, Rach and I went to Bridgette's house (Nicky had to stay home for a driving lesson) and spent the day doing pool and hot chip things.
Holy shit. I've just discovered that Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees died two days ago. I can't believe it. They're not even really a band I care about that much, but it's a huge shock. And I know several people that really, really care about them. My cousin John for one. Ricky for another (how sweet... I mean it, too). I know my Mum will be upset when she hears. I'm very sad now, and don't want to write about what I was going to. I no longer have the energy. The End.
Saturday, January 11, 2003 07:22 p.m.
Currently listening to: Doughnut Song, Tori Amos
I've been on a CD aquiring... thing recently. Having gotten no new ones for several months, I've gotten six within three weeks. Of course one of them, The Brides of Christ Soundtrack (I like the wordless music, ok?) was one dollar, second hand. And one of the Tori Amos albums (I got three of them) was fifteen dollars, for eighteen songs no less! So although I've gotten many CDs, I've only spent forty six dollars.
Stupid as it is, I'm proud of my CD collection. It's quite... original. I take great pride in having no copied CDs. When Mum returns home with my King Adora and Miss Black America albums I'll be absolutely joyous. The End.
Saturday, January 11, 2003 01:51 a.m.
Which Stroke Is Your Secret Lover?
Your Secret Lover is Julian!
Attracted by his way with words (or maybe just his ability to get it up while really, really drunk), you spend your hot, torrid nights in bed with Julian. Maybe it's the way he threatens to fuck people in the ass while playing pool, but there's something just delightfully and purely sex about him.
I swear I didn't cheat! Looks like adorable Julian and I are meant to be. Ahh, pretty...
Friday, January 10, 2003 02:14 a.m.
Currently listening to: Baker Baker, Tori Amos
The more I think about Tuesday the angrier I get at Ricky. What, he thinks that now, because he's changed his mind that everything's different? That he ruined my whole Christmas/New Year two weeks, and I'll just forgive him because that's what works out better for him? Maybe he only remembers the good times, but I remember the rest as well. When he would stop talking to me for no reason. When he was angry at me for no reason. And I know he found me irritating, because he said so when we broke up. He can claim now that I'm not, but it's a bit late. I don't think I can be with someone who made me feel as bad as he did. I just don't think I can. The End.
Tuesday, January 7, 2003 10:46 p.m.
Currently listening to: Si J'arrete, 7 Day Kiss
I'm trying desperately to kill the complete joy that's crushing my chest, but I'm not being successful at all. I saw Ricky (and Nicky and Rach) for the first time in over two weeks today. He missed me, just like I desperately hoped he would, and fuck that makes me sound pathetic. Anyway, it's hard to explain, but I could feel the same tension that was there before we were together, the first week after we met. He's decided I'm not annoying, which is a very good sign. I'll know more later, when I see him again. The End.
Monday, January 6, 2003 04:26 a.m.
Currently listening to: Rebel Girl, Bikini Kill
People who think I shouldn't be able to find boys in dresses attractive make me very, very angry. Fuck You, Beau's girlfriend.
Monday, January 6, 2003 02:53 a.m.
Currently listening to: Sour Times, Portishead
Something about Portishead makes me feel... I dunno, maybe optimistic is the best word. Like, Ricky is not the only person I'll ever be naked with, I will find something to do with my life, I'm not utterly unattractive to the opposite sex, life is almost worth living. Who'd have thought that such outwardly unhappy music could have such a positive effect?
Woodford review now, as promised. It was my worst one ever. The entire time was spent obsessing over Ricky and how much I desperately miss him. I think I'm finally over that stage of things now, but odds are high that I might lose my way again. I've gotten quite tired of being away from home, and will probably be staying here for a good many days now. More later... The End.
Thursday, January 2, 2003 09:31 a.m.
Currently listening to: Sunshine (Part 2), Rebecca Wright
I'm home from Woodford. More coherent thoughts later on. These coherent thoughts may not arrive until Saturday, though. I'm off to Brisbane again so that we can spend a bit more time with Luke and John before they leave. We're going to go and see the new Lord of the Rings movie, tomorrow I think. So... Happy New Year and all that. Long live my obsessive thoughts of Ricky. Actually, I'd really prefer it if those stopped.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002 05:42 p.m.
Currently listening to: Under The Pink [whole album], Tori Amos
Merry Christmas, sweethearts. It's been a week since the soul-crushing break-up with Ricky, and unfortunately I am not, as yet, over it. Since (I'm fairly certain) no one in the whole world reads this anymore, I'll admit something I shouldn't. I ended up in the hospital on Saturday because I took nine Panadol in a row. My missing Ricky got so bad that I thought if I ended up there he'd feel guilty. In the end he didn't even find out about it, so it was kind of a waste of time.
I'm off to the glorious Woodford Folk Festival tomorrow. It should be alright... Of course, I'll be by myself for most of the time because I'll have no one to spend time with. I'll just have to cope. The End.
Wednesday, December 18, 2002 11:24 p.m.
It's over. It's over and I am alone.
Sunday, December 15, 2002 11:45 p.m.
Currently listening to: Lover I don't have to Love, Bright Eyes
I'm collecting Christmas songs so that I can put them onto a CD and give it to Candice, and anyone else that wants a collection of non-carol Christmas tunes. Lalala, it's almost Christmas time. Lalala. The End (lalala...).
Wednesday, December 11, 2002 03:26 p.m.
Completely disregard my previous comment. I was in Beaudesert from Saturday morning until Monday, and I think the time apart must have affected Ricky deeply. We're getting along better than we have since before Nicky's party, a month ago. That's really when all the shit started, so it's really, really good. He's actually telling me he loves me again, too. Life is good again.
On the down-side, Mum just left for England and won't be back for five-and-a-half weeks. So life isn't actually that good again after all. The End.
Friday, December 6, 2002 02:13 p.m.
I'm sad. Everything's going wrong between Ricky and I, and I don't know why or what I should do to make it stop. I don't know if we'll last much longer... It's so unfair.
Thursday, November 28, 2002 09:51 a.m.
Currently listening to: Plastic Fantastic, Robin Black & IRS
Uh... I finished. Of course, that was almost two weeks ago. I've been doing away-from-computer things, and so I haven't been able to write anything. This is the first time I've even been on the internet for about a week.
I haven't seen Rach and Shay for almost two weeks now. It's just proving too difficult to accomplish. However, I should be able to see them tomorrow. I've been seeing a lot of Nicky, though, which is good, because I usually don't much see her at all. On Tuesday I walked to her house from mine, and anyone who's driven that distance will understand why it took me an hour. I was quite proud of myself, because it was a spur of the moment thing and I was actually able to do it. I'll be seeing her later today (we might go and see the new Harry Potter, which starts today) but I have to wait until Ricky gets here before I call her.
My Schoolies Week was kind of boring, but not unbearable. Most days I helped Ricky deliver pamphlets. Crazy as everyone considers it to be, I really enjoyed doing it. I wasn't even walking with him, I was walking by myself. And it was all very, very pleasant.
I'll try to recap more of the last two weeks a little later. Right now I need to eat something. I've missed writing here and felt guilty about waiting so long. I may even add more today if I have time. The End... for now...
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 07:03 p.m.
Currently listening to: Tear in your hand, Tori Amos
I finished my exams today. I'm done. Sure, I have to go to school for a liturgy on Friday, but really... I'm done. Scary.
Monday, November 11, 2002 11:24 a.m.
Currently listening to: Konstantine, Something Corporate
Ricky and I had our first major falling out at Nicky's birthday party. Things went from very bad (my getting so drunk that I threw up, partially on him) to worse (my saying that he was going to dump me now since he was probably in it because I fuck him... I was drunk, I didn't mean it!). There was a lot of crying (from both of us I've heard, although I didn't see him) and we had to have a "talk", during which I vomited again, into a bucket. I think we worked it out, though. We might really love each other after all.
I'll never have to give religion a second thought again unless I feel like doing so for some reason. Rach, Jess and I did our SOR performance this morning, ending my two year affair with that subject. All I have left is Chemistry (tomorrow, which I'll fail so I've given up), Biology (also tomorrow) and Maths (Wednesday). And then I'm all done forever. Whee. The End.
Thursday, November 7, 2002 04:22 a.m.
Currently listening to: The Time Has Come, from Pokémon
I just finished my last English assignment for school, ever. I have two days of classes left. I've got no more doubles. My time for the perfect tuckshop sausage rolls has almost run out. But you know what sucks? I don't hate everyone anymore. I walk to the first lesson in the morning and I'm smiling. Now that in itself doesn't suck. No, what sucks is that I've never been so happy at school in the last twelve years as I am now. So of course, now's when I have to leave. That's every kind of unfair imaginable.
I'm scared. Is anyone else scared? After next Friday, I'll never see about 90% or more of the people I've been seeing almost every day for the last five years. Why is that scary? Because it just is, get over it please. What am I gonna do without David and Paul's obviously gay antics to entertain me? After next Friday, I'll never be able to look at the two of them in class (obviously very attracted to each other) having fun again. And that's very scary. The End.
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