5 more days
Saturday, June 25, 2005
I'm sorry. I would angst, but there is no cure for self-hate.
I don't know the reasons for half my actions. All I know is the ones that matter never get done.
this dragon flamed at 07:12 p.m..
8 more days
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Today I opened a book, 'Fight Club', and stuck on the first page was a post-it note saying, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" in block letters.
It hit me like a truck with twenty tons of cement. Even post-it notes are casting doubts on my future now.
this dragon flamed at 11:19 a.m..
I'm sorry it took so long to write this song, but I gave up
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
no I can't hear nothing cause I got my head up in the clouds
I'll bite off anything that I can chew
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue
but that's OK
I'm tired. I guess I should just give up. Someone kill me plz.
this dragon flamed at 11:14 p.m..
This is for you, ming.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Vatican City - Masturbation is like owning a Ferrari and driving only in first gear, a senior Catholic theologian said in an article published Wednesday.
"Driving only in first gear, not only do you prevent the Ferrari expressing its full power, but gradually you wear it out and thereby ruin a masterpiece of technology," Father Giordano Muraro wrote in the magazine Vita Pastorale.
OHHHH-KAAAAY. The band concert was good, but I only liked the pieces after the intermission. And strangely enough, they saved their best pieces for the encore pieces. o_O Haha. In other news, I hate Claire.
this dragon flamed at 12:20 p.m..
its a downward spiral from here
Sunday, June 12, 2005
I took a guess and cut a portion out of my heart
He said thats nowhere close enough but its a damn good start
I wrote the secret that I buried on the wishing well wall
He said I've seen one... it follows that I've seen them all
We spoke of human destination in a perfect world
Derived the nature of the universe (found it unfulfilled)
As I took him in my arms he screamed I'm not insane
I'm just looking for someone to understand my pain...
Jane says, its a long way out. Can I make it out?
this dragon flamed at 11:15 p.m..
o_O
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
01. Reply with your name and I will write a short phrase describing you.
02. I will then tell you what I admire about you.
03. I will make up a short drabble with the both of us in it.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
06. Put this in your journal.
Gerard:
01. PENGUIN.
02. Your mudmeet organisation skillz and (mostly) ever-present cheerfulness
03. Waterdragon and Drareg step onto the ice-rink. Drareg slips and falls. Waterdragon pokes fun at him. (HAHA! You're a penguin! Slide all over the ice on your belly or something!)
04. Uh. Mudmeets. Oh, and falling over countless times from your bike.
05. What is UP with aquatic avians?
06. Put this in your journal.
Allison
01. uhhhh. SEXAY! haha!
02. Your ability to run about all day, then come home and mug for hours! Oh and ur l33t athletic skillz
03. Allison is swarmed by Bungs after her basketball match. Bernice stands at the side and laughs.
04. Strangely enough, I think its you drinking milo.
05. Wtf?! So are you straight or crooked?
06. Put this in your journal.
Xinrui
01. Stick-insect
02. Your utterly xinrui-ish wit. And the way you grew, i dunno, 2 meters in a month?!
03. Xinrui attempts to grope Elbert's butt. Bernice sweatdrops and rethinks all her plans for a sex change operation.
04. You unfolding yourself and blocking out the sun. I think I'll remember that for the rest of my life.
05. I've never questioned anything about you. If I started, I'll never be able to stop. The implications will blow my mind.
06. Put this in your journal.
Samuel
01. Too bloody tall
02. Eh. YOUR SEX APPEAL! haha! oh, and the cool way u play ur guitar
03. Poksam pinches Bernice's cheeks. Bernice punches him in the stomach and laughs.
04. I remember all the times when you suddenly *poof* up in front of me and all I can see is an expanse of white cloth.
05. So are you over cherries yet or not?
06. Put this in your journal
this dragon flamed at 09:37 p.m..
So why am I the only one falling?
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
"Come to the edge", he said
But they hesistated.
"Come to the edge", he said again. "Trust me", he urged.
They went to the edge. He pushed.
And they flew.
Its called. The Waiting Game. Time doesn't heal, it simply withers away and slows down once bright emotions and desires. It dulls passion, ages fevour, rusts pain. So if you wait long enough, if enough time passes by, eventually you'll stop caring. The problem is, how long is enough time? It seems like I have been waiting forever, but the escape I seek is still beyond my means.
Cinderella, Cinderella, my voice is hoarse and I am weary.
this dragon flamed at 09:26 p.m..
Because you have your own cloudy problems too
Thursday, June 2, 2005
I have realised that my msn contact list is full of people I do not know, or have forgotten about. I am also too lazy to do anything about it, or rather, too unmotivated. I cannot even summon up the energy to be nervous about my competition today, other than thinking that I do not want to do this, and an overhwelming feeling of failure. Then again I also feel the same way about going to jc and the O levels. So I will collapse on my bed in a fit of despondency and make up sad poems about my handphone which I hardly ever used anyway.
Do your part for waterdragons today. Contribute to get waterdragon a handphone fund.
this dragon flamed at 11:44 a.m..
lost
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
"So where are you going from here?"
"I don't know. I don't know what to do. Maybe if I could have someone to talk to...?"
"Sorry kid. You're on your own. But you've always known that, haven't you? That there is no one you can truly rely on, except yourself."
".....yeah. Yeah, I guess I did."
this dragon flamed at 07:38 p.m..
waterdragon wuvvin'
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Full Name: Bastard (fuckadogthreetimes@abstinence.com)
Gender: Male
Birthdate: 1 January 1900
First Crush: Shortzzz
Biggest Crush: Shortz
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes
Boyfriend/girlfriend's Name: Shortzzz! Fuck you hard
Current status of your relationship:
Wanna break off after having sex
Ever had sex in your life? Yes
Porn Sites/Movies: Yes
How many times do you masturbate in a week?
More than 7 times
Are you attracted to an individual of the same sex?
Yes
Preferred Skin Complexion: Dark
What turns you on the most?
Swingin on the bathroom, swingin on the floor. Swingin so hard, forgot to lock the door. In came her
Haw! I feel so loved by the poksam. FREE LOVE! DO IT NOW, GET ON DOWN! haha!
this dragon flamed at 08:12 p.m..
haha! =)
Saturday, May 21, 2005
If I could, I would refuse the dark, dusty tombs that memories are relegated to. I want to freeze frame the moments of my life, not capturing them as still life, for in the eye of a camera, all life is still, all motion is removed, the moment is dried out, preserved and strained of its essence. I want to completely retain these days, suspend them in formaldehyde, complete with every detail, untarnished by the passing of time. The fishscale clouds in a starless sky, the emotions and sensory details attached, all carefully fitted in, my cross against the tide of depression, as it comes and goes.
I would like to remember and be happy, remember being happy.
Omg Yoda's ears rock! Up and down they twitch, until I haf an irresistable urge to poke them.
this dragon flamed at 11:15 p.m..
What happens next?
Friday, May 20, 2005
Sometimes, I think- maybe if I closed my eyes long enough, if I waited long enough, maybe when I open my eyes again, things will all be better. But I know that I'm just burying my head in the sand, a plucked and crippled ostrich.
How does it feel, to know you'll never have to be alone?
Good game.
this dragon flamed at 10:10 p.m..
guess the name game
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
You know your life is pathetic when you're jealous of a game. And unrealistically proportioned animated characters. Especially when everyone else seems to be doing better than you.
So don't worry if it is a tumour
All these will be over sooner
It's just a crap shoot but its mostly crap
Things start out they're so terrific
They'll fuck up it's scientific
this dragon flamed at 10:08 p.m..
Caffeine Withdrawal Symptoms
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Whatever it is You think You're doing, God- It's not funny.
If I was 1337 enough, I'd hack into the big computering system up in the sky, and reprogramme my whole life. Preferably with a lot more chocolate. Too bad I slept right through all my C programming classes.
this dragon flamed at 05:50 p.m..
music- punishment for a misdeed
Sunday, May 15, 2005
"I've been here long enough to know who's Horny and who's not."
omg Mr Ken rocks! Even though I still owe him my lit assignment. Congrats eds ppl!
this dragon flamed at 01:00 p.m..
Maybe if I say it enough, I'll believe it myself.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I just realised why I felt so shitty yesterday. It was friday the thirteenth. I think I may actually start believing in bad luck.
God, where are you when I need you most? Don't leave me alone. I'm so lost.
this dragon flamed at 02:40 p.m..
Happy Birthday Wailumn
Friday, May 13, 2005
2 cans of coffee cannot save me. I deserve death. 8 A1s? More like I should be happy if I get sub 15.
Angst.
this dragon flamed at 09:12 p.m..
I am one stressed little girl =(
Saturday, May 7, 2005
Symptoms of Stress or Anxiety
Physical:
* headaches --haha!
* sweaty palms --naaah
* indigestion --naah
* shortness of breath --haha!
* holding breath --i do this all the time in air rifle!
* cold hands --haha!
* sleeplessness --naaaah
* sleep too much --hahaha!
* fatigue --haha!
* nausea --naaah
* diarrhea --NOTHING CAN OVERCOME MY STOMACH
* tight stomach --wtf is that?
* tight muscles --naah
* pain --where? oO
Emotional:
* moody -- =)
* irritability --haha!
* depressed anxious --SO MUCH TEENAGE ANGST
* lack of sense of humor --HAHAHA!
* abrasive --omg so thats why ppl who brush against me double up in pain!
* hostile --naaaah
* nervous --YES! my poor test results!
* emotional --I think all the symptoms above speak for themselves
Mental:
* forgetfulness --omg every single day!
* loss of concentration --haha! esp math!
* poor judgment --um um um.
* disorganized --HAHA! since i was born
* fuzzy perception -- if i look too long, the words go fuzzy =)
* confused --haha! isnt that my normal mental state
* lack of interest --maaybeee
* math errors --omg YES!
* stop thinking -- o_O im not going to answer that
* diminished fantasy life --loll. nor this
* negative self-talk --*looks at blog* weelll...
omg that explains so much about me! ESP MY PATHETIC LOVELIFE! --> ( hear that sound? that the ringing of tiny gossip alarms set off all over my little network of friends who actually visit my blog now and then. Well now, my precious blog, we aren't going to divulge anything are we?)
I am going mad.
this dragon flamed at 10:08 a.m..
forgive me, I am but a poor fool.
Friday, May 6, 2005
I realise now why guys will never understand girls. Its all in one word. Subtext.
And you? Can you comprehend the melody of my words? Or the light in my eyes? Or even the texture of the silence between us? If you are not here- who will save me from myself?
this dragon flamed at 08:01 p.m..
steaming coffee and cloudless skies
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Days of being happy without knowing it. Unfettered speech and blatant truths released easily. I long for days long past. I long to be someone else other than me.
I am afraid.
"Quinces are ripe, GertrudeStein, when they are the yellow of canary wings in midflight. They are ripe when their scent teases you with the snap of green apples and the perfumed embrace of coral roses. But even then quinces remain a fruit, hard and obstinate- useless, GertrudeStein, until they are simmered, coddled for hours above a low steady flame. Add honey and water and watch their dry, bone-coloured flesh soak up the heat, coating itself in an opulent orange, not of sunrises that you can never see, but of the insides of tree-ripened papayas, a colour you can taste. To answer your question, GertrudeStein, love is not a bowl of quinces yellowing in a blue and white china bowl, seen but untouched." --a book of salt
this dragon flamed at 06:39 p.m..
How fast the minutes fly away, and every minute colder
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Too much to study. No mood to do so. Must stop being so distracted.
this dragon flamed at 12:39 p.m..
I dun like tall guys. much.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Damn it la. I want a dog as my boyfriend. Lol. So cool right. A dog'll be loyal, so it suits my possessive nature. Dogs are damn fun, and always happy, so that'll nicely offset my depressive/hyper episodes. And besides, dogs are just so cute! That why kakashi rocks too. =)
dreams...
(No one is allowed to pull my ponytail. Well, except yongqing. And thats only because I can't think of a way to make her stop. Stabbity death shall ensue for the next person who does so.)
this dragon flamed at 09:49 p.m..
The colour of anguish is not black, but red.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.
If I'm not good at my studies or my cca, if I have nothing to distinguish me from everybody else, then- who am i?
this dragon flamed at 02:51 p.m..
I hate math
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I, like a rock, sink
Sinking 'til I hit the bottom
The water is much deeper than I thought
Nothing to swim with
Kicking but I keep sinking
A lesson that no one could have ever taught
'Cause I can almost breathe the air
Right beyond my finger tips
I'll turn around and pick up the pieces
I'm falling on a suicide plunge, and there's nothing I can do, cuz im alone and my lips are sewn. So why are you running away, when I should be the one in your place?
this dragon flamed at 07:50 p.m..
How does it feel to live in a world of chaos?
Monday, April 18, 2005
I've been wanting to blog for a long time but I never could find the time.
Wait, that was obviously a blatant lie. Fine, I was too lazy, happy?
H'ok. Now for the updates. THE END IS NEAR. I know you probly already heard this about a million times before, but there are several reasons for this, in the order of the least to the most important.
1. I am going to die for my a amath test.
2.Scientific evidence shows that a meteorite is going to crash into Earth in 2 days, and that the hamsters are going to take over the world and conquer the galaxy.
3. The chinese prelims are in less than a month's time.
4. Desiree and I got into the cdans finals.
Wait. Let me repeat that again for dramatic effect. DESIREE and I got into the cdans FINALS. Now, I realised that some of you may not be able to grasp the full consequences of this event. Desiree and I share the same jacket, same pants, same shoes, same GUN. Same score too, come to that. So, since there are only eight shooters in the finals- how are the both of us going to fit into ONE suit? Yet again, this highlights the stinginess of DHS. *sulks* Secondly, in the finals, you haf to shoot one shot in one minute, and ur score gets read out to everyone. Yes, READ OUT. Not even the comforting blanket of anonymity to help me. I am going to die of humiliation. Now I shall save you guys the trouble of going through my complaints ( like you will) and summarise it: angst angst ansgt whine angst angst whine whine angst I HATE MY LIFE
There. I feel much better now. Now what else....the RJ Chorale. Needless to say, it was a complete rewrite of the RV choir concert. The only difference was that there were REAL girls in there, so they sounded a hell lot better, and their acapella [sp?] group was quite good. I spent my time shredding the programme sheet and getting dirty looks. But in spite of being sick, it felt quite good to just relax for a while.
this dragon flamed at 08:41 p.m..
for a life without chinese
Sunday, April 10, 2005
"If I had the wings of a swan,
Over these stony hills I would fly
I would fly to the arms of my true love,
And there I'd be happy to die"
But I have no wings either.
this dragon flamed at 11:29 a.m..
And so it is, just like you said it would be
Saturday, April 2, 2005
Come to that, how do we know if bees really dun haf beebands? For all we noe, their trademark buzzing noise could be some tone-deaf bee singing something like "I'm juzzz za beeee, zand lifeee izzzz za niiightmarre"
Lol. On another note, no one seems to support my plan to turn into a gay transvestite. =((( Why??! Why can no one understand how I feel??! Can't they see that turning into T3H 1337 kumar of all kumars is my lifelong dream??!!! [Strains of "shut up shut up shut up, dun wanna hear it" plays in the background] I mean, besides the fact thats its a complete waste of money and time, but how cool is that? And besides, I get to hook up with effeminate guys who can actually clean up after themselves.
(yes, I think Simple Plan is t3h u1tim4t3 teenage angst band, but i like it anyway)
this dragon flamed at 11:58 a.m..
the moment of truth in your lies
Sunday, March 27, 2005
And I'm still waiting.
this dragon flamed at 09:47 p.m..
killing me softly with his song
Friday, March 25, 2005
You know how ppl are always saying how much better it is to be say, a dog/cat/pig (cuz their orgasms last for 30 mins, apparently). I dun think its true. I mean, I bet their lives are as full of shit as ours, 'cept humans are the only creatures who whine all day about it. Like bees, for example. They spend all their time fertilizing flowers (like, wtf? who likes to help someone else, let alone another species from a whole different kingdom to have sex?) just for some measly nectar or edible pollen. Not to mention those shitass flowers who act as fake whores, or beeres, and deprive them of sex, or those who dump their load of pollen on them without a by-your-leave. And THEN there are the birds or whatever-it-is that preys on bees who might decide to make a meal of them. If they weren't so busy acting as gigolos, I bet they'd have Simple Plan beebands all over singing about how life sucks.
But sometimes life just throws shit at you, and you just have to stand there and be buried up to ur ass in it. If you've never made a mistake in your whole life, then FUCK, you must be the son of God, or the son-of-a-bitch who's been giving everyone trouble. Still, thats not exactly as excuse of acting badly. I acted like an asshole today. Sorry everyone. Especially michelle and karmen.
On a different note, I like the Century Square carpark. Its damn cool, they even haf these electronic signs telling you how many slots are available to ur left, right, centre, etc. 100 flair points to them. On another different note, I really really really hate the haze. Maybe we're all gonna evolve into haze-breathers, so when the air finally clears, we're all gonna die. Talk abt natural disasters. UN should set up an organisation to help us all. The UNHBO (United Nations Haze Busters Organisation). w00t!
this dragon flamed at 09:45 p.m..