To the girls of nyp db team: sorry if i was moody or seemed down just now. im just sleep deprived and my blister hurts real bad- ever feel your heartbeat throbbing under your third finger. yeah.. and socializing was never my cup of tea. it is totally against my nature but i'll like to try it if i werent that tired.. after all, im gonna go all out in this team ie for all 3 yrs.
22th SRR: It was an enjoyable event. We made it to the semi-finals for Women's Championship and fullstop. Had a lot to improve on.. which brings me to the point that i wasnt into rowing until 2 weeks ago when we had to row for sat and sun. The gals were great.. love them all :) thanks for everything!-from the hugs to the motivations. so Ben was right after all.. he dun haf to eat his own shoes. am grateful that i get to row for all events except the mens' on both days... and always behind Za :) from the Womens' Championship heats to one mixed event to Womens' Championship semi-finals and to tertiary womens'. Our timing was 1 sec faster for tertiary compared to e semi finals and also 1 sec behind ngee ann poly. have to hit 5 sec off our clock to beat the elites from TP and NUS. oh well there's always next yr. i can feel myself bobbing on the sea once more.. and another.. the guys got third for tertiary mens'. they were SOOO cooridinated man.. and everyone were patient and pulled long. it was really nice watching them fly.
The Problem: I wasnt nervous... even at the start of each race when the airhorn was sounded. it was always the last 100m that got on my nerves and that's when i panicked so either coordination or power is poor. although the last race-tertiary women long pull was good;patient... my last 30 charge sucked big time. it was more of an emotional struggle. mental prep/ urged myself.. still not enuff. this was only be the beginning. in my whole life, i have never actually pushed myself this far, be it studies or CCA.
i'm gonna rest well tmr i guess. will put off everything.. cos im as good as having only 2 fingers on my left hand. the ring and index fingers are numbed by the blister. and u noe wad i use to counter it? a CoRn plaster.. which contains 50% salilic (wadever that is) ACID. argh. i cant help feeling like a failure after all that have happened for the past 2 days.
Spreaded Her Wings at
11:50 p.m.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
courtesy of Viv.
she made it looked so Hamper-like... hehe.. when i first saw it, i got a shock. like tis: *sucks in air deeply".. prettily done.
yupp we got them yesterday nite and tmr is the race day liaos. will not let da ge down.
Spreaded Her Wings at
01:45 a.m.
Friday, November 19, 2004
I will GO ALL OUT for my brother
Yay!! MeeMee, Donny, DeeDee coming back in 12 hrs :)
Yesterday afternoon: spent at Jil's house baking cookies for the gals. loved every part of it.. from the time we met till the point at the opp bus-stop. the first round was an experience.. we came up with the mixture that looks like a piece of rock from Mars or rather, volcanic debris... but jil fondly called it "Jil n Mel's Creation" *raises eyebrows* ahahh... even she agreed that it looked like shit tho.. yupps thanks to the ChinEse pckt Orange Brown Sugar. the second was better... it looked more sane... but man... i got a sugary hangover. cannot take it liao. gonna avoid choc, choc chip, cookies and like til i get over it.
even sugar p sounds too sweet that makes me go 'plueh'. ok shall stop nonsense.. got brother supporting me.. feel so happy :) will do my best for SRR!
Spreaded Her Wings at
01:40 a.m.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
thanks daph and jil so much today... the motivation to forget the negatives and focus on positive and for believing in me when i doubt my capabilities.
thanks jo for inviting jil, viv and i for supper for trng today... if not i wun noe i had to finish up the whole bowl of rice (daph advice) and the gals for being so supportive my attitude stunk before i came... i was wondering why in the world am i dreading 6pm to come then.. i wasnt like this during off season. oh well.
i had my fun - yest n today til 1pm at pris house watchin' school of rock, confession of teenage drama queen n legally blonde. slept over for last nite too.. an impromptu decision cus it was real late after the second show. so after all the teevee and slacking ard, i went to trng with a total zone-out feeling.
decided to prove Ben wrong, VERY wrong about our team. i admit the last set and everything except running on sun was a disaster... i visualized at a very minimal abt our goal - getting a medal or plate/plaQue, the celebration and my focus was out a lot of times.. prolly cus of period.
this time, i wun let go. it's Now or Never. of cus.. have to take it easy and enjoy the race too. will pull long and hard. pull til my paddle threatens to break!
Spreaded Her Wings at
11:10 p.m.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Fatigue. That's one thing happening in me now. Thanks also for period. IT came just before the trng and i got cramps during and after rowing. Damn. have 3 hole-ly wounds at strategic places on my hands and pain-juice-filled blister. i've come to this conclusion that i can only row well for one day.. Not two days in a row. might not given get a chance to row for the most impt race on sun cus reason 1, i still lack aggressiveness.. reason 2, i konk out easily.. reason 3, i havent achieve an overall fast and good average speed on my part.
but silent contentment still bubble a little. sugar p sat beside me after the run, when ben was doing the mental rehersal (i think Jo did a better job tho). and me, being me always will pretend to be oblivious to everything except to things that concern the gals' team or me during trng. he seemed to be doing fine after a couple of mth hiatus. ahah.
Spreaded Her Wings at
06:40 p.m.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
I'm lighter now hehhee... after i let out all in the toilet (not puking of cos). feel so much better :)
Today's sea trng was good. Enjoyed every part of it.. I did get negative thots tho since last nite but it was every conscious effort that turned them around for the better. Applied everyone's advice.. like Ben's only u can control u not not things u cant control like others' performance or the current and Jo's do wad we're supposed to do and shoulders down to the 'gunrail'.. ah and jazz, Pull LONG - Seat to Seat.
However, one thing i reali wanna change is my head position. it goes down with the shoulders.. i dun ache that much frm it yet but im afraid it might have negative impact in future. haiz.. if i keep my head and body straight(when recovery during rowing), i wun feel that i'd achieve 3/4 blade in water. Tmr is the last day to try out one more time.. if not i'll be rowing with my head tilted as usual in race(hope i make it to row in race, that is). another thing is aggressiveness. it's an aquired skill; dun get it overnite but it's useful, no lets just say it's essential in this sport. oh and Ben worked wonders... there's a difference when he's ard. he wun be there for us on next sun for tertiary finals- the most impt race so its up to us to go full drive; All out.
yupps.. had an enjoyable time with da gals at the sea... more rest time. and the weather... sunny sunny then drizzle... wavy waves. hehe... the tide was real high when we reached da place... love it much.
after trng went with Jil for lunch and got our nalgene bottles- pretty things that r gonna get scratches every sunday.
i usually backout totally from thinking abt trng when im at home.. think of it onli at e minimal... so i'll come with new strength n energy e next trng... always do mental rehersal in MRT.
alrighty, running tmr.. pushups rowing... tata gonna wait for meemee's call...
Spreaded Her Wings at
07:16 p.m.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Please dont leave me
Keep me in your heart always
I love you and i still need your care
Even though i may take you for granted
Every now and then.
I miss your warmth
I miss your hug
Most of all
I miss your smile
Dont forget to come home next thu
I'll be there welcome your arrival
melmel hugging moomoo when meemee's not around.
Spreaded Her Wings at
10:30 p.m.
Friday, November 12, 2004
after bawling and rolling abt in the bed last nite, i got frustrated with my attitude that i channelled all my (negative) energy to do 100 sit-ups and 50 push ups. started my first food log too- to keep track of wadeva that goes to my tummy.
am still packing my magazines to 'dispose'. so looking forward to trng later.
Spreaded Her Wings at
03:44 p.m.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
ive never been so upset over wt gain
till now...
when i discovered i GAINED a horrendous nine kg in three bloody years
Three bloody years Of gluttoning and stuffing food down the oesophagus with minimal workout
And what the #%$#%^@??? i want to drop 10 in 3 months
..havent happen yet..
it's been 4 months and counting
Struck off 1 DAMNED kg successfully
Way to go, mel.
way to go.
Spreaded Her Wings at
09:33 p.m.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
i give up trying to adapt to a blogskin. i'll change it as soon as i get sick of it. it's somehow worth the effort.
i was demoralized after yesterday's trng dat i could not slp well.. got a lil better after i called Grace and sorted my thots > cos of low self-esteem = low motivation.
today i went trng with a whole new attitude.. did wad the seniors said and told myself thruout the rowing to be focused, look ahead (coordination) and to feel the power in every stroke. as a result, most of us enjoyed ourselves (prolly also cos of yesterday's sullen atmosphere in contrast with today's sunny). the ex-rowers came back too- diana and mei :) they were really encouraging.
the most impactful tip was from Za... she mentioned that our strokes were 'draggy' y.day and if its not 40-60 i.e. 40% in water and 60% recovery in air then we would look like leisure rowing and ppl will find no kick in watching dragonboating. many thanks to Daphne n Jil for the blunt truth that rowing can be and should be the one to look forward to every week. lotsa ppl have helped too.. like jazz on the 2 strokes-1 breath 'theory'.
yupps learnt a lot these 2 days and im looking forward to the raCe. NYP gals have the potential to hit their All-Time Best. WooHoo!
Spreaded Her Wings at
08:50 p.m.
Sunday, November 7, 2004
exms r officially over. rested well till 12.10pm.
i went for pilates jus now :) the first half of it was alright... even perspired a little. but time seemed to crawl after that. my mind was screaming for a stop but i pressed on. abs feelin kinda tight now.
i guess wadever we do, we have to enjoy ourselves. if not, we are runnin without drive yeah?
hoping i'll feel fresh with energy on every trng by finding an escape quick during non-trng days . heh, so i thot pilates and yoga would do the trick.
there's so much things to do... so many ppl to catch up with... housewrk... not to forget TV time- those are considered a priority. aha. of cos it will not be as high as others.
Spreaded Her Wings at
04:50 p.m.
Friday, November 5, 2004
have i changed? no, dont think so.
anyway, i went for a hairchop yesterday. looking like mr. potato now - with a few clumps of hair. oh well, better to have short than long hair so i'm pretty ok with it.
ogsh. tickx tockx. i'm almost dead. 6 more days and .....
Spreaded Her Wings at
10:45 a.m.
Friday, October 22, 2004
i like my blog this way. it's so clean.
today was a paper with doodles on it. i realized i'm way behind in revision... thanks to the lecturers n my friends. am still going for trng tmr though... heard that we might get our singlets den--can't wait to see the dragon on it.
yupps. signing away for now. gotta revise autocad before exam at 12.15pm. -20 Oct last day of lessons-
Spreaded Her Wings at
09:23 p.m.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
my bat-winged arms r almost gone (...illusioned...)! yeaH. just worked out with Jil this afternoon for almost 2 hrs at the sch's gym.
the sports n wellness guys there r cute :) anyway, even if i found them cute or wad knot, i'll never show so it's as good as nothing right? mon is lady's evening at the gym i.e. only gals will be allowed to use it from 2-6pm. meaning i'll be there too... fortnightly ;) there was an orientation ard the gym for first time users. thot it was quite neat.
ran for 2.4km on the treadmill for 16 mins (way off target of 14 mins or less) and then did some gym work. the equipments there are unbelievably interesting. i love the assisted sit-up machine (with incline) the most... and my favourite free weights work out have to be the one-arm row. i had so much fun there with her... then the best part of the day - malay veg rice at north canteen with Jil.
Spreaded Her Wings at
08:06 p.m.
Monday, October 18, 2004
