<Melissa>

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Zao An Ning Hao. Haha. First time in so long I'm online so early. Was forced to sleep early last nite. Mom using comp. Lately, I'm having trouble sleeping but Westlife (first album) saved the day. Connected to the past.

This is actually my forth attempt blogging an entry out. The first three times hesitated.. out of sheer laziness and was being distracted. I just had my morning bath so nothing can stop me now. muahauhaha.

Vague points in the past week:
-I did my household chores but parents were not satisfied. They still want me to use less computer.
-I left my part-time job (and I'm glad)
-My prescribed elective is Introduction to Marketing (dunno if it's supposed to be good or bad)
-My parents can't wait for me to start school. Once again, so I would use less of computer (as if)
-I can't wait for school to start too. So I can use more of computer (ahahaa)
-Complete Time Table still not out? And we're to buy books this thu x)
-Been doing self-training a lot. Can't remember when I had my last sedentary day... it just doesn't feel right to have one these days.
-5 minutes on the rowing machine is a test of patience and endurance.

"I have come this far but I will not look back at what I've done but continue looking forward and expect greater achievements."

*I don't think it's possible doing 10k in 50 minutes considering I'm without training proper. But will do my best that week.
*I'm broke. Will restrict shopping til July... Just before Great Singapore Sale ends.
*I lost another 2 kg? More to come. Don't be surprised.
*Tresses = Feminity. No matter how you look at it.

DOTA.... I haven't got a chance to kill a soul. I wanna go on a killing spree too!!!!.......

posted @ 08:27 a.m.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I relish the times I spend at home alone. There's this sort of liberated feeling. I could blast the speakers out loud, do what I like, start my day with a cold bath "in the open", bounce around. Well, those days are limited. Oh, and I love eating apple in front of the computer. hah hah.

What I dont like to do... in the morning, is to go for a run.. unless I receive inspiration from heaven. Another sad compromise of staying at home is lack of food. Oats and apples are abundant, but that is about all. Instant noodles are out of the question, though they are readily available. I love instant things... except instant food. Oats is a different case.

Today will be my first tutorial with melvin on DOTA. Gee... I actually spent the dawn downloading it only.. and when i finally got everything, I know nuts abt it. So much for being inactive in gaming over the last decade. k lar... I'm off le.

Have a great day people~~

posted @ 12:10 p.m.
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

It started to rain again. I cant get my lunch anytime soon. :P

Been online a lot this past few days. Even more if DOTA is downloaded. Then I'll have to come up with excuses for late nights x)

Time table will not be out til next week.

Quads are aching like never before cos did targeted weights at that area ytd. Plus seated row. Could only sleep on my back. Ytd was fun. Did xtra trng which differs frm routine. Started with 10mins warmup jog, plyometrics at shuttle run tracks then conquered the 'hill', did few minutes badminton then some gym work.

I woke up this morning thinking "What have I been thinking". Rhetorical crap. I should see you in the same light as I see others unless I see others in different coloured lights. The latter sounds promising though.

posted @ 12:09 p.m.
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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Agenda tmr.

Breathe fresh air
Wash up
Smell a patch of grass
Breakfast
Wash Toilet
Bath
Tv
Lunch
Library
School - Run, etc.
Dinner
Net
Sleep

I lived mainly on Gardenia's Focaccia Bread today. No rice, no vegg. Just that, 2 apples, oats, and a reasonable amount of junk (not fast food).
I'm in love ... deeply in love with Focaccia. I wish I could house in one.

posted @ 11:28 p.m.
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Friday, May 13, 2005

try, you could have done it
no no, cannot
why not
some things shouldn't be done that way
then it would be passion
nah, crazy obsession would be more like it
you know you've done it before
yes i did
but you were too impatient
i wish i'd known
you didn't wait to know
i'm sorry
i hope to get you back
and the list goes on right
there's more to that
enough said.

posted @ 09:50 p.m.
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Thursday, May 12, 2005

I think I'm reaching that limit again. Burnout limit. Have to sit and reflect again. But I can't didn't even create the opportunity of being under a damned tree. Urghh.

I'd been pursuing my interests... long and hard. Chasing after the wind, it turned out.

Still looking forward for school to start. >_< ahahha. Then we shall see how high my GPA can go.

You know what day is today? It's exactly ONE month to my birthday and I'm still pining for under 50 mins for 10k. Is it possible? I'll do that within the monday after my birthday since 12 june happened to be on a Sunday. IN other words, need to train. Have to go thru it with ease. These will all happen after the bedok race. aaaaaahhhhhhh

posted @ 11:44 p.m.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Warm Warm Wednesday. Slacking at home sounds appealing. But no, cannot. 3pm is the meeting. Need to catch up with reading too. And head to the library x)

I still havent create a chance to stand under a tree and take deep breaths yet. Furthermore, my anxiety level is rocketing. Sometimes I just feel like living in a burrow. Everyday would be night time. Night seems longer than day somehow.

How will it be like to fall deeply into someone only to realize the same feeling cannot be reciprocated. I will never know cause Im not in that situation yet. The problem is I dont fall 100%. Im afraid of bruises and scars. But then again, it is essential to invest in someone.

Hardly spend time with my family too. The next time I can really be with them is this Sunday. I hope I don't have to go down to far east. Mommy needs serious workout.

My age is now 17 yrs, 10 months, 30 days. I still need to grow up and am still growing up...... How can I be myself.... hmmm......

posted @ 01:25 p.m.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Waha. Been a week since I updated. Had work and activities just sprung up one after another. Activities like our first db camp of the year which i felt was a blast, considering we're new to organizing it... :x and straight after was sea training. The Best so far. Knowing that things have become more efficient makes me, personally, wanna push harder...

Mother's Day on Sunday. Went church, visited a gigantic bungalow (belongs to mom's fren) at katong area then dinner at a salty steak house. The food was so salty that I could live without food til today. Over rated eh. But the irony is I still eat my meals.

Worked full shift yesterday. Day dream of studying again... in lecture hall; doing my tutorials..... to the extent man. Work is tiring. Thank goodness I only have to go through full shift once a week. For that . -_-;

Will be resuming off-trng trng sessions again. Like finally. Was sedentary since Sat. Bad Bad.
.....
yippEe 3 more hrs to slack and im off again :)

posted @ 12:21 p.m.
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Monday, May 2, 2005

I'm distracted.
Voices everywhere.
Must be the damned TV behind.

Finally got together with AFM. :D But I guess I wasn't in a good state... as in mind not connected to body. Had lunch, took photos, walked and shopped. Fun, overall.

Went for foot reflexology at Centrepoint while Mich had haircut. I'm still pleading my calves to be alright before training starts. Before the fitness test. To get me and Cerelia and some others pass the finishing line at 11:55 or lesser. My last timing was 12:01:09. Despite my current conditions... I hope for a miracle.

Sigh. Results will be out the day after tomorrow. Will be viewing it with Za. I'll try not to fuss over it.

I should go stand under a tree and take deep breaths. That's what Mr. foot reflexologist said. My lungs are the weakest. They need building up. 30 mins every day. -_-" That's if I can find a tree.

posted @ 10:19 p.m.
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Sunday, May 1, 2005

Yesterday was a fairytale story. There really was this Once Upon a Time beginning and a The End at the end. Thought I would die out at sea but I survived. Hurhurs. I was worried before sea training started. There is always room for improvement though. Running after that. Dripping wet and dirt in socks. Just did it anyway. Could stay with the guys til Sheares' Bridge. Then at the turn, slowed down a little before maintaining pace midway. Both calves are sore now. Gees. Never before. Have to put off running til Tue. I still don't understand how the next person (a guy) is so far behind me. I finished approx 2 minutes after Weiming. Then about 5 minutes later he reached. Anyway, this whole thing was more of a mental struggle.

It's May already. New beginning. Less time spent online! Yeah. I miss doing mundane things... like bouncing on the stability ball while reading. So much reading left to do. Once my calves are slightly better, I'll continue speed roping. The amount of sweat produced in 5 minutes while at it is comparable to running 2.4k and you will get just as breathless.

posted @ 10:41 a.m.
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