Saturday, April 27, 2002 10:11 p.m.
Well,

I did try to post a couple of days ago, but could not get pitas to work.

Things have been quite good. Had a great time visiting my Mom, Bro, and Tom, down in Maryland. We were only there for a few days, but it went really well. Katie, Andrew and I went to this great bookstore in Havre de Grace. It had first editions galore(I even saw Louise Gluck's Wild Iris first) which is tough to find. They had all the LIFE magazines in chronolgical order from 1936 on up. They had a big section for Sci-Fi, and a big section for old Pulp fiction. Some of those old covers are priceless in themselves with their sultry femme fatales and damsels in distress. It was great to spend some time with my Mom. When she comes up, it's usually so quick, that I don't really get a chance to sit down and really talk to her. But, we got to this time, and she found a long lost box of pictures of me as a little boy and on up through the years. The infamous Olan Mills Portraits that I cried all the way through, so even in the best ones, I had red eyes and was sad.
The most interesting to me though, was three old letters I had sent my mother from California. They were written in a voice that still seemed familiar. A voice full of hope of the future, and a voice really just trying to figure things out honestly. It was encouraging in some way that I am still earnestly trying to figure things out for myself, and I realize that I will always be doing that. That I will never just settle for the basic numbness that is all around us.

It is ultimately a game of lost and found to me...

this life...

And right now I am really grateful for what I've found lately...

love and expression...

and family and closeness...

and as always...

wonder...

Friday, April 12, 2002 09:44 p.m.
Tim will be here tomorrow, that should be pretty fun. We will probably go to Popham or something. Maybe to the Skinny to catch a band in the evening...

Last week, someone stole my cd binder(with about 50 cds in it) and my cd player out of my car, so now when I think of a song I really want to hear, I go to the case and there is nothing there. I feel vilolated!

Katie and I did laundry today, oh man I hate doing it. I got some reading done though. I am reading Northen Lights by Howard Norman. He is my new hero. He just read at the store a couple of weeks ago, and he impressed me immensly with his thoughtful, real, and unpretentious presence. He was a very wise man. I mean anyone who starts off his talk saying "Each day I just try to work my way up to a state of melencholy". is okay in my book...and his writing is fantastic. He doesn't try to give you all this background embroidery to try to give a character emotional depth. He just has them say, think, and do things, that only they would say think or do, and their actions(mental and physical) draw you to them, and give you attachments, and real personal bonds.

Next week Katie and I are going down to see my Mom and Brother. I am excited to see them and the 19 is my birthday, so we will celebrate some too.

Wow, 29. I'll be closing the door on 30 soon. I'm already finding white hairs in my beard!

Monday, April 1, 2002 08:45 a.m.
I had a good day yesterday with Katie's Aunt, Uncle and other family members. I had to come into work early today to do reports I usually do Sunday night.

It's going to be a long day.

Tim is coming to Mass. on the 11th and he wants to come up to Portland. This is great! It will be nice to show him around a bit and catch up. I have to start thinking about what I want to read at his wedding.

Something simple, but eloqent, would be best.
I don't want to be too esoteric at a function like that.

On Friday we took a long drive up the coast and stopped in Camden, Rockland, and Belfast. It was wonderful. We stopped for coffee at a bookstore/coffeeshop in Rockland and I got Donald Barthelme's 60 stories. He is amazing, read him now!

Enough babble...
I must open the store now...

Saturday, March 23, 2002 08:54 p.m.
I haven't blogged in a while, but that's because things are going really well.
Katie and I are settling into living "together". It's working out great. Mostly because we both understand the need for space and give each other it whenever we need it.

Other news...
I made a quiche the other night and it actually came out good. Diedre was going to come over to eat it, but she got hung up. That's okay, because it allows me to atempt it again;)

I will be sending off poems monday to a few mags(most of them are in California,funny huh), urg... we will see.

Rejections don't really hurt my feelings, they are more annoying then anything. Annoying mostly because you take the time to (if your me, who types everything on the manual typewriter)type each poem again, with name and address on each page, then you include a simple letter of inquiry to the editor, and a bio.

A self addressed stamped envelope stuffed into the envelope with the other pages. Then its off to the editor, who, if your lucky, will send you back a slip of paper that is actually signed saying " sorry, but you should keep your day job"

But still I will try...
why? You ask...

Because we all want recognition for our labors, even if they are labors of love....

Thursday, March 14, 2002 03:02 p.m.
Pretty excited about my days off. I'm just going to relax. Last weekend was hectic. This one should be more mellow.

I've decided to start to send poems to small magazines again. I did it for a while 5 or 6 years ago but stopped because of discouraging rejections. I figure I'll test the waters again, now...

Monday, March 11, 2002 04:22 p.m.
Talked to Tim yesterday and he asked me to read some of my poetry at his wedding in July. I was very honored and look foward to it. He and Pam are coming to Mass. at the beginning of April, so they are coming up to visit.

The other day, while I was waiting for K to pack things up in Farmington, I went to that bookstore there and read a lot of Savage Beauty. What an interesting biography. I think Elizabeth was saying this too, the other day, but it's really a parallel story of discovery on the part of biographer(she puts herself into the book a lot) and discovery of the life studied. I never knew much about Edna St. Vincent Millay before, and this book made me want to check out her poems more closely. If you see the book on your travels, pick it up, at least for a few minutes...

Saturday, March 9, 2002 09:10 p.m.
The move was a success. I am very tired, but very happy. It's one of those nights when it seems like it is 2 in the morning when it is only 9 at night. I need sleep...