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If I won the Lotto
If I won money, not if I worked for it, but if I won a large sum I’d have to spend at least one-third on something fun. And not only for myself, but fun for my friends (who are also poor) and my family (who aren’t so poor, but not nearly rich). Until I hit that magical number that will repay my college loans, the other two-thirds will go towards getting rid of that burden.
$500:
-Puma Roller Skates-or-
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A round trip ticket to see Ben in Pennsylvania
$1,000: All of the above and
-Expensive shoes, a pair a shoes that cost 250 frigging dollars -or-
-A car rental and a few days off to go see Jesse upstate
-Plus lots of plants, tons. Walking into my bedroom would be like a Safari
$5,000: What I already wanted and
-A tailor made dress, one that actually fits across my boobs and isn’t all saggy in the waist as a consequence –or-
-A party, a big kick-ass house party (old people in the neighborhood included)
$10,000: As previously mentioned plus
-New fancy duds for the friends and a posh restaurant we can get all boisterous in –or-
-A trip for said friends to go to Disney World for a few days
$25,000: This is the magic number, one third would mean no more student loans plus fun and games including
-A trip to Ireland
-Fancy gifts from Ireland for my loved ones
-And that pony Santa never bought me (maybe a miniature pony!)<
$100,000:all of the above and the following
-Italy on Puma Roller Skates. Any takers? –or-
-St. John’s until all my lily white friends become darker than Angel
-A Tiffany diamond ring since that is my expensive equivalent to often mentioned Puma Roller Skates that I am simply obsessed with
$1,000,000: At this point, one-third is a lot of fun. The other two-thirds would be a lot of philanthropy. I’m not sure if I can’t think this high, I’d really not know what to do after $25,000 but . . .
-Puma Roller Skates for everyone including my grandma including pink ones for the little Asian lady at the deli who loves my pink shirt
-College loans: no body I know is burdened with them
-Mortgages? You must not know the millionaire
-Dinner with Andrew Cuomo (don’t ask)
-Money to Barnard with the specific request that they stop sending me mail
-The house on Maplewood Ave in Maplewood that Jesse, his friend Pam and I all want. I’ll let them live there too
-Having a private U2 concert featuring only the song Angel of Harlem
-Some one to follow me around all day and do everything for me: open doors, fetch water, etc. I just want to know how that feels.
More than $1,000,000 Some good Kevin Costner body guard because once someone finds this page and knows I like to give away my money, I’ll need protection.
I wonder, how much do you need to bribe Prez Bush out of office?
Wednesday, August 22, 2001
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