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{ Thursday, February 6, 2003 }
Hi, my name is Ed, life is great, wow I just wanna give everyone hugs!!!!
{ Thursday, February 6, 2003 }
I tried to kill myself last period with a pair of "dura sharp" arts & crafts sissors. Obviously I failed. Why? Well, because the sissors could barely cut paper. But why did you try and do it? I had a lapse in sanity because too much bitterness and self loathing built up in my system. There is a good reason for all this, believe me. A few days ago an old friend of mine was having "problems" with his girlfriend. They also happened to be working in the same group in Advertising Art as myself. They were APPARENTLY breaking up. I was happy. Does that make me a scumbag? No, at least Heather thinks it doesn't. Does that make the two of us scumbags? Hardly, see I have a thing against couples stopping in front of me while I'm trying to get to class (the halls are EXTREMELY crowed)and begin to makeout or start fucking. I don't mind public displays of affection, but some people need take it easy, or move into a corner or something, because they are always in the fucking way. But what does one have do with the other? I'm getting there. See, class is bascily the only safe haven I have from the hormone crazed parasites that make me feel more insecure about myself than I am able to handle sometimes. ... Or so I thought. However that paticular couple liked to do "couple things", rather blatently, in class, when you're trying to do work. So, I was happy that they were miserable. But I can only be so lucky. Today they're back together, and history is repeating itself. This would be somewhat tolorable if they weren't in my group, not being much of a help. In fact, I could almost deal with them being in my group just this one time. But the fates are shinning on me today, because it turns out they're in my group for the ENTIRE QUATER! HUR-FUCKING-RAY!! THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!! But why can't you just be happy for them, and all the other couples Ed? What does it matter? I think you're just a jealous whore. Do you really want to know why? I would kill to share moments like with the woman I love. Stupid little, seemingly insignificant moments that I'm sure most of these fucking "love birds" take for granted. Under the circumstances, I can't. Or I'm just a jealous whore. ... Now for Something Productive: My web comic is probably going to be called "Cheaper Than Paper", a name suggested by Devon. I think it works well with what I have in mind.
{ Wednesday, February 5, 2003 }
Okay, as incredibly awesome as Equilibrium was, I'm still not in a better mood, not in the least, but damn. I mean, I am completely dumbfounded. Why was this movie only a limited engagment? There were action scenes that literally made me cry. It was beautiful. (First positive thing I've written on here, in, ever.)
{ Tuesday, February 4, 2003 }
You ever have that feeling you where you want to crawl up into a tiny ball, just disappear completely, and never be found? Sounds like a Radiohead song to me. It's a nice feeling, isn't it? All your self worth, or lack of for that matter, completely gone and you're left a shell of whatever it is you began to develop into. I know you've all, the pretend magic web pixies that read my blog and give a good God damn about me, have been itching to hear another one of my panted rants on life, but this is all the I can muster up at the moment. That's not to say that I don't have plenty of substance to add to this, oh no, plenty, but I don't see the point of writing it here. Why? Because it's just a bunch of stupid self proclomained insucurities about myself that will just dig me deeper into this hole that's already gotten to gigantic fucking proportions. I'd rather keep some shred of dignity left, so the web pixies don't think I'm a COMPLETE loser. What am I going to do now? I'm going to take a fucking shower, finish downloading Equilibrium, which, thank god, is finally available on KaZaA, watch that shit, and hopefully be in a much better mood then I am right now. Goodnight.
{ Monday, February 3, 2003 }
I need to shave, I'm slightly more scruffy then I'd like to be at the moment. Yeah, that's about it. I can't think of anything really worthwhile to say at 8:00 in the morning after another night of non-sleep. Yum, insomnia.
{ Friday, January 31, 2003 }
... You can't resist her She's in your bones She is your marrow And your ride home You can't avoid her She's in the air (in the air) In between molecules Of oxygen and carbon dioxide Only in dreams We see what it means Reach out our hands Hold on to hers But when we wake It's all been erased And so it seems Only in dreams You walk up to her Ask her to dance She says, 'Hey baby I just might take the chance' You say, 'It's a good thing That you float in the air (in the air) That way there's no way I will crush your pretty Toenails into a thousand pieces.' Only in dreams We see what it means Reach out our hands Hold on to hers But when we wake It's all been erased And so it seems Only in dreams Only in dreams... Only in dreams... Only in dreams... Only in dreams... Only in dreams... Only in dreams... Weezer - Only In Dreams (I love this song...)
{ Wednesday, January 29, 2003 }
Ouais, ceci est français. Non, je ne sais pas un mot d'il. Je le traduis en ligne. Si je ne reçois pas une nuits pleines dorment bientôt je vais devenir fou.
{ Monday, January 27, 2003 }
I know I had a big rant coming up, but that can wait. Holy fucking shit what a good episode of Alias. Best of the season or quite possibly the series. It rivals the amazing first one. If I've learned nothing else, I now know with certainty... 1. Jennifer Garner is incredibly fucking hot. 2. Jennifer Garner is even hotter in RED lingerie 3. Always expect the unexpected.
{ Thursday, January 23, 2003 }
I'm bored so I wanted to write something in here. I had a big rant in mind, but I don't have the time to write that up now...probably later. I bet you can't wait, right?
{ Sunday, January 19, 2003 }
Whoa, I'm an emotional wreck right now. I've got a boatload of work that I somehow managed to put off for the past 4 days, but if I don't finish it tommorow I'm royally screwed. I'm at a point where if I actually stop procrastinating and get started on something, I have no idea where to begin. I'm so lost. It'd be helpful if I had some sort of motivation...something over the horizon that I could look foward to. As it stands I don't have anything happening that is going to put me in better spirits any time soon. On an unreleated note...I'm ready to rip out this keyboard out of my computer and throw it out a window. You see...sometimes random keys decide not to work...like 'n' and 'b'...everytime I need to use one of those keys I have to copy and paste them...thus making this bitching job take a lot longer the it's sposed to. I need to get a new keyboard, before I go insane. I feel sorry for anyone that should stumble across this thing and start to read it...so sorry for wasting their time. I never write anything the least bit productive. I should talk about projects that I'm workig on, but when I actually start one, I don't know where to begin, and I'm right back where I started this stupid rant. I could talk about my ideas, but if they're never going to get off the ground then what's the point (I guess my question mark key doesn't want to work either...fantastic.) I guess I'm done for tonight. Hopefully when I wake up I'll be in a different time and a different place. I'm so tired of waiting for fleeting mirages of happiness...I want...I need to wake up to the oasis every moring for the rest of my life. ... Damn, I should tone down the melodrama before I hurt someone...
{ Saturday, January 18, 2003 }
I love nyquil. It puts you in that euphoric state you feel just before you fall asleep and when you wake up early, but don't actually get up. How I love it so. No, I am not a cold medicine addict, I'm still getting over this...whatever the hell I have. I got shit from the doctor, but I still feel like garbage so I turn to good ol' nyquil. Now I'm out of it so much it's hard to type...but I feel GREAT!
{ Tuesday, January 14, 2003 }
I've been eating a lot of Ramen lately...well, more then usual. It helps my throat. After a week or so of it not getting any better I'm convinced it is house to a live badger or something like that. That little bastard is scratching around in there and just won't quit. It's soar as shit. Yeah, so I just wanted to say that instant noodles are good for soar throats. Fuck Listeriene, that shit is nasty. And don't get me started on gargling with salt water. What the fuck are we, Pilgrims? Should I put leeches on my throat after that? Ugh...
{ Monday, January 13, 2003 }
I'm sick. I'm tired. I have three tests tomorrow I am both not prepared for and not in any kind of physical condition to take. But I guess I'm doing good. I can't really complain, right? Wow, I bitch on here a lot. I'll have to put a stop to that...one of these days.
{ Sunday, January 12, 2003 }
Very rarely do I have a dream that puts me in a better mood the next day. Last night I did. Remind me to tell you about it Heather.
{ Friday, January 10, 2003 }
Just because... I'm bored and it's cute
{ Friday, January 10, 2003 }
My throat feels like someone shoved a blender down there and put it on high. That still doesn't compare how the rest of me feels. =(
{ Thursday, January 9, 2003 }
I just watched a re-run of Seinfeld that pretty much parraled my life. I always loved the show, and now I love it on an even more personal level.
{ Wednesday, January 8, 2003 }
Okay, I got a big rant coming up and it's aimed at all you God damn Dragon Ball Z fans. First of all, I'm a big anime buff, but I cannot in good conscious classify DBZ as anime and it's all your fault. Yes, you, DBZ fans of the world. I got into a heated argument with one of your kind earlier today, as I have in the past, on the overall shittiness (or as they put it, "Why the show is so awesome!) of the show. Afterwards I came to the realization that you are all the same. Why? Because you believe that all other anime is crap if it doesn't have awfully repetitive and monotonous battles that last the span of 7 episodes. You tell me that shorter series are boring and don't hold your attention while I say that DBZ just drags itself out to ridiculous extremes, while at the same time branching it's story out...going from convoluted to just plain asinine. Okay, I'll say this. I don't mind if you're an anime fan and you happen to like DBZ. That's not what bothers me. It's a personal preference and I just don't happen to like it, is all. But those of you that only watch DBZ, defend it tooth and nail, try to tell me about how Goku just reached Super Saiyan lvl 24 and how I'm sposed to care about that; I want you to broaden your fucking horizons and watch something else. There's plenty of amazing anime out there, but you'll never know if you don't give it a chance. Thank you, and have a good day.
{ Monday, January 6, 2003 }
Well, let me give you all a lesson in procrastination, because I am the master. Friday: I did nothing but sleep since I got the day off due to inclimate weather. I think I might have gone online for a little while. (Please keep in mind I need to to have 7 page short story for my creative writing class done by monday and I have no idea what my subject is.) Saturday: Slept late. I helped shovel and all that jazz, but other then that I didn't do anything the least bit productive. I finally decieded what I'd do my short story on and got a paragraph done, before I popped in "Sly Cooper and the Theivious Racoonus"... Which, before I go any futher is a tremendously awesome game and anyone with a PS2 should go out right now and do whatever it takes to get a copy... ...anyway, I didn't really write anymore until much later and by then I wasn't so much writing as I was staring at the computer screen and trying to ignore those horrible pop up adds on KaZaA...I talked to Heather for a while and then hit the sack. Sunday: Slept late again. I got up and popped in Sly Cooper again until I beat it at 9 (I was kinda doing some research on my short story at the same time, so all that time really wasn't wasted), watched alias, and started writing again. Here I am again. Procrastinating. Although I kinda like how last minute work turns out for me, for some reason it always seems much better. It's snowing so there's a slight chance we'll get a delay or a cancellation, but I doubt it, especially if I don't finish my work, because I can't ever be so lucky.
{ Saturday, January 4, 2003 }
Hey, you're probably the only one reading this now anyway, and you know who YOU are...so listen up. (Okay, so I'm too lazy to just email you...) It's not like I haven't felt awful for the past 4 1/2 days, so I know where you're coming from, but... We've been through this before, and I'm sure we'll be through it again. As much as I'd want to, I can't live with you just yet. But that doesn't mean I won't see you again soon... sooner then either of us think. You can not begin to imagine how much I miss you, but you also can't imagine how much more I love you. That's the only thing that's gotten me through all this. I just think about that and the time we spent and it gives me just enough to carry on until I see you again. Try and do the same... I'm not saying it's still not hard, but it helps. That's all I have to say. I won't make a habit of using this for private messages, and you can delete this if you want, of course. I just wanted to write you a quick note before I go to sleep... somewhere you'd check tommorow. Cheer up.
{ Saturday, January 4, 2003 }
Whoo! I got a blog! <3 <3 to Heather for doing my layout. ^_~ But right now I'm too tired to write anything else.
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name: Eddie
aliases: Heero Hammer, Mr. Zio, nny, Wakka
DOB: 02/26/85
aim: Diseased Moogle
characters:
guys: Rookie One, Spike Spegial, Van Fanel
girls: Bubbles, Sawa, Haruko
bands: Greenday, Mindless Self Indulgence, Our Lady Peace, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins
forums: # # # #
layout: GIR!
ARCHIVES - yeah!
currently---
feeling:
depressed
reading: NJO: Vector Prime by R.A. Salvatore & The Complete Reference: Web Design by Thomas A. Powell
playing: Galerians & Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus
listening to: Mindless Self Indulgence - "Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy"
watching: Alias, Clerks: The Animated Series & Invader Zim
wanting: FuriKuri DVDs
The Scary Monkey Show: The Scary Monkey Show is basically a show on Invader Zim that features a very angry looking monkey that stares at you. It's very popular since you see a lot of other people watch it throughout the show. It's Gir's favorite thing to watch when he's not playing with his remote controlled squid or making taquitos.
FILLERBUNNY
[#] Devi
[#] Nny*
[#] Gaz
[#] Gir
[#] Tak
lawn gnomes:
sounds of the city \\ gta
fillerbunny \\ jhonen vasquez
pizza:
yay for pitas