[ALWAYS] iloveyouihateyouijustcantlivewithoutyou

Hi. I'm Usi. I'm 17, and I attend a shitty school in O'ahu, Hawaii. I was born on June 30th in the year of the Tiger, and religiously follow angelolatry. My favorite color is blue, and my favorite sweet is chocolate. I don't like anything about myself, and I don't think I ever will. I'm pretty insecure, with very low self-esteem, and I hate myself more than my worst enemy. All I wish out of life is to be with the person I love the most, and to finally be happy with myself. I hope to attend UoK and major in Japanese. I would eventually like to live in Japan and travel world-wide. See my pics here. Enjoy yourself.

mood:

Though I like anime, I find that manga is much more enjoyable. I like knowing the original author's storyline, and swimming in the original art. It leaves a little more to the imagination, and makes the story more lively, in my opinion. I own some Gundam Wing, Inuyasha, Fushigi Yuugi and Sailor Moon manga, my favorite out of those being Inu-Yasha. I have read other manga, but I couldn't list all of them to save my life. The manga I'm dying to own right now is Tenshi Kinryouku (Angel Sanctuary) and Yami no Matsuei (Descendents of Darkness).

I'm also a rpg fan. My favorite console is the PS2, and I'm loyal to it...save for the Gameboy, NES, and SNES. My favorite series of rpg games is Final Fantasy, with Final Fantasy VII being my number one game. I own FF VII-X, Wild Arms2, ICO, and Legend of Dragoon. Of course there are many more games that I want as well.

You'll most likely find me on AIM as Usilion. If you don't have AIM, you can email me if you want to contact me for whatever reason.

I listen to very little American music because it honestly bores me. JRock/Pop is more interesting, the music's better, the lyrics are great (sometimes disturbing if you're talking about Dir en Grey), the men are sexy, and it's just a shitload of fun. Some of the artists I listen to are Malice Mizer, Dir en Grey, Gackt, Moi dix Mois, Plastic Tree, and X-Japan. My new obsession is La'cryma Christi, Dust Oblivion, and Baroque. My song at the moment is "Screaming" by La'cryma Christi.

[---] Ace Girl
[---] AJ-sama
[---] Ang-san
[---] B-chan
[---] Dani-chan
[---] Fran-chan
[---] Kaenix
[---] Kala
[---] Nextgen
[---] Taku-chan

---

[---] Pitas
[---] Archives
[---] Farf.com
[---] One Third
[---] Vauss
[---] Voiceless Screaming
[---] Crucify my Love

Happy Birthday, me. Yes, this is my birthday gift to myself. It features Sumeragi Subaru from X, the first male manga character I've completely adored for no reason whatsoever. The image was taken from Xistentialism. The lyrics are from Always by Saliva, which fits Subaru so well it's scary. Well save for the pistol part. Image editing done with Photoshop, hosted by Pitas, comments by BackBlogger. Wee.

Thursday, July 3, 2003
04:55 a.m.

...I was gonna add an entry, but I'm too lazy. G'night.

Tuesday, July 1, 2003
01:03 a.m.

Listening to: Youma Kazoe Uta (Youma Counting Song)

One, it's a love in one generation
Two, the two of us go to hell
Three, even though we kill everybody
Four, signpost for the land of the dead
Four, signpost for the land of the dead

Such a sad song. But so beautiful. I haven't seen Curse of the Undead Youma, but I'd like to.

Five, the rain of blood because of war
Six, just like a dead body
Seven, my tears run out
Eight, a dark night starts to melt
Eight, a dark night starts to melt

The only thing is that the chick sings to ten...but it's only translated up to eight. ~_~ I have no idea why they do that.

Soooo I bet you're wondering what I did on my berfday. Nothing much, to be honest. Mom had to go take a drug test, so I waited in the car with Jake while she had that done. Afterwards we went to Wal-Mart. They didn't have DDR, which kinda surprised me, but they had a bunch of fireworks. So Jake bought ten dollars worth, and I got a package of Morning Glories (aka GIANT SPARKLERS XD). So yeah, I think the 4th of July is gonna be fun. There's like 20 in this box. And I'm gonna try to hoard them as much as possible, because I'm a whore. XD

Anywho!

Soooo after we went to Wal-Mart we went to Safeway's. There we got some pizza and a cake for me. We went home, had dinner and cake. The end. Boring, neh?

Well, I had to call around to find a store that carried both the DDR game annnnd the pad. That took three or four calls. But it was really cool looking in the phonebook. I mean, if I ever need a Japanese name, I can look in the phonebook. I'm serious. Also, when I called one store, after giving me the menu in English, the dude said something in Japanese. All I heard was "nihno go", "go" and "kudasai", but anyone could figure out that he said "If you need Japanese assistance, press 5" or whatever. But I thought that was cool anyways. :D

So, we found a store in HONOLULU that carries it. I live in Wahiawa, which is about forty minutes from Honolulu. It would probably be less than that if traffic wasn't so horrible here. Later this week me and the 'rents are going to Waikiki to eat a late lunch to celebrate my berfday (since Dad had to work today) and since Waikiki is about ten minutes from Honolulu...we'll pick up DDR then.

ANnnnnnnnnd I'll type more later.

Sunday, June 29, 2003
03:01 p.m.

Listening to: Dir en Grey -- Drain Away [Neo Tokyo Trans]

It's a day early, but I don't care. This layout is as angsty as I feel. Enjoy.

Friday, June 27, 2003
01:44 a.m.

Things to Do:

1) Finish the layout for Farf.com
2) Finish the Kakyou fanlisting
3) Finish the Luna fanlisting
4) Make a blog layout (not for this one :P)
5) DO MY LAUNDRY! Like, before my birthday. >.<
6) Clean my room
7) Draw more
8) Post in my yahoo clubs
9) Be a better girlfriend
10) Be a better friend
11) Exercise more
12) SEND ANG-SAN HER CARD! XP
13) Pray that Lorien will get to come down before school starts. Sacrifice some chickens. Something.

Things to Save Money For:

1) Plane ticket to Florida ($800+)
2) Domain ($20 a month)
3) Tablet ($100)

I will be earning ten bucks a day for cleaning the house once my mother starts working (which will be veryyyyyyy soon). I can earn up to fifty bucks a week depending on if I do my work. So it'll take me two days to earn the money for a domain, two weeks for a tablet, sixteen weeks for the plane ticket (though it'll be muchhhh more than that, I'm sure). That's if I save ALL of it. What I plan on doing is saving 3/4ths and spending 1/4th. So 1/4th of 50 is 12.50. Well. I suppose I'll save my spending money and blow it on a local comic book store (that I need to find).

Okay I need to stop. Talking about spending money on myself is scaring me. @_@ And yes, I'm a penny pincher.

Oh, not to gross anyone out or anything, but I got my period today! :D I haven't had it in a year and four months now. Go me. ~_~

Mandy: I know I said I'd be online earlier but when I came downstairs my parents were on. ;_; I'm so sorry. They were on forever. I sorry I broke my promise and I hope you'll give me a slow painful death.

Thursday, June 26, 2003
01:33 p.m.

I am the biggest pile of shit. I can't do anything right. I can't make her happy. I make her feel like shit. What good am I? I'd be better off locked up in my room.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003
12:00 a.m.

Listening to: La'cryma Christi: "Screaming"

Let it be known that La'cryma Christi, Plastic Tree, Dust Oblivion, Aliene Mar'iage and Baroque own you. Especially the song I'm listening to. The music and vocals ROCK. I <3 the chorus. I <3 the singer. Along with Ryuutarou, Ken, and Taka. And anyone else. <3 <3 <3!!! B-chan can kill me if I fubared any names. (Ken's the vocal for Dust Oblivion, right? The one with the ABSOLUTELY PERFECT Engrish? ...and I had no idea where I pulled Taka from. ~_~)

Anyways.

The past couple of days have been reaaally laid back and boring. Yesterday I got my Über spiffy fonts installed and my favorites back up. I b4733ted most of the mp3s (which were crap or ones I've listened to soooooo many times I could sing it backwards and out my ass) and downloaded a lot of random J-Rock stuff from rotation sites. B-chan 0wns you, got it? Oh yeah, she has a new location. I need to link that. I'm so lazy. .....okay I'm off topic. Yesterday I attempted to reinstall Photoshop but it completely fucked itself over. So I was like "ehh I'll mess with it later". I reinstalled SmartFTP and cleaned out the crap I had left in my little spot on vauss.com. I still have to dig through my sites and see if there's anything I need to redownload. I know that I have to ask AJ for the site and password again. ^^() (Layout plug for her! IT'S CHIBIIIIII FARFIE!) I didn't put my emulators and whatnot back on the harddrive...I don't play them enough, so I'll just keep them on my floppy disks until I wanna play again.

Today I reinstalled the digital camera and the software for my burner. It WORKS now. I'm so estactic. I immediately burned a CD. I told my dad, but I also told him not to tell Justin. The ass would download Kazaa and fill the harddrive with his shitty rap songs and NOT DELETE THEM AFTER HE BURNS THEM. >.< In fact, I was planning on NOT downloading Kazaa period but I had to get Photoshop somehow. Unfortunately, it's hating me like you wouldn't believe. The zip files kept fucking up. This is the third or fourth time I'm redownloading it. I hope it works this time. I've got like...35 minutes left of the download. @_@ I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't work. I NEED Photoshop and I NEED Image Ready. Otherwise I can't have somewhat decent graphics. ;_; Nor will I be able to make my fanlistings. >.<

If I haven't emailed anyone lately...I'm sorry. I haven't had the energy to do shit. I didn't walk for like...three days in a row. I've been staying up really late and getting little sleep. I haven't drawn anything. I need to post in my yahoo clubs. I need to work on Earthbound. I need to get layouts finished and updates done. I NEED TO DO SOME LAUNDRY. >.< Desperately. I have like...no clean t-shirts. Wait yeah I do...but I STILL need to do laundry. ^^()

My berfday is in 6 days...and I'm actually debating on what to get. It's leaning heavily on DDR and two books, but I don't know if asking for the books and DDR is too much. They're getting a cake and taking me out to dinner...and money's tight...(even though Mom's hired and she's gonna start working as soon as she has her HAwaii license)...argh, I just don't want to be a burden. >.<

I don't feel like typing anymore. I'm tired. Night.

Saturday, June 21, 2003
10:12 p.m.

If you wanna join Neopets, please use this link. Thanks. :D

Friday, June 20, 2003
10:36 p.m.

It has been an active day today. Okay, sorta. But not really. @_@

I stayed up till five (a.m.) because I watched Pulp Fiction with Justin's friend, Seth. It was fucked up, but good, and funny. XD Samuel Jackson with a afro is GREAT. XD XD Anyways.

So I woke up at like...12:30, I think. I think it was around 2 when my parents decided they were gonna rearrange the living room. Completely. So I am no longer by the kitchen door (thank Jeebus), but by the screen door. I'm tucked away into a dark little corner, I like it. XD The living room is more open now, and not so boxy. The only bad thing as that my mom dropped her huge ass computer desk (remember, it's yours Taku) plus all her stuff (including the comp itself) on her foot. She didn't break it, but damn has she bitched about it. ~_~ She's got a goose egg on her foot too. So I helped her push around furniture and helped dad get the comp set up, blah blah blah.

Then I found the software to strip the computer! So while mom baked pizza (oh god that spinach and mushroom pizza was GOOD *dies*) Dad showed me how to do it. Then it was a fight getting the product number for Windows 98...had to go through some configuration (luckily dad didn't have to mess with the connection), but it was all worth it! We also got an upgrade! I used to have IE 5.5 but now we have ultra spiffy 6.0. Dad let me customize it to whatever I wanted, so I had Japanese support stuff included with the installation. XD Hopefully it'll help me somehow. ~_~

Sooo...I've got the big chore of downloading my programs and getting my stuff back. Things I've downloaded so far:

1) Trillian! It's a neat program. My skin is bitchin'. :D
2) Winzip. I needed to unzip my skin. XD
3) Semagic. Needed the lj/dj client.
4) SmartFTP. Since I have to get into my shrine and download all my crap that I have stored there.

Things to download/get from my back-up cd/floppy discs:

1) PHOTOSHOP! I need it badly. 2) Winamp! Since I refuse to use the new version. ~_~ 3) mp3s! The lack of music is killing me. 4) fonts
5) Image Ready
6) whatever else

Things that need to be reinstalled:
1) My burner! I miss it so much.
2) Norton Anti-Virus. ...I should've done that first. ~_~
3) Digital camera.
4) other things I can't think of.

Finally, the biggest test I will do:

SEE IF MY COMP WILL PLAY WHR!

Since I downloaded IE 6.0 (and the WMP option) hopefully the newest version of WMP won't give me hell.

Ace Girl: I will email you soon. I promise.

Thursday, June 19, 2003
01:00 a.m.

I AM REALLY SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE BASHING MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS/PEOPLE/MUSICIANS/ETC AND THEN GIVING ME HELL FOR DOING THE SAME THING BACK.

When you obviously START shit about a character, when I haven't done fucking anything to you, OF COURSE IT'S GONNA PISS ME OFF AND I'M GONNA DEFEND THEM. You have NO RIGHT to get PISSY because I DISS THE HELL OUT OF SEISHIROU after you started on Subaru.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GET PISSED WHEN YOU POINT AND LAUGH AT GACKT AND I INSULT KYO/WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU LIKE. YOU STARTED IT.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE A CHARACTER I LIKE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. GODDAMN.

AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GET PISSY AND START NAME CALLING. I can call names just as well as anyone else.

SO TO THOSE WHO HAVE DONE IT: STOP IT RIGHT NOW. It's NOT worth the argument, and I don't want to explode on anyone else.

And my blog still won't let me scroll down, the fucking bitch!

Ragh. Sometimes the ones I like (and who supposedly like me) are the ones who REALLY piss me off.

bloggie

girlie