Visit the old entries! Funny Friends Don't worry, it wasn't kitty porn You get an A+ and can go to recess for the rest of your life! Cute people are born on Nov. 1, like me and Hello Kitty! Halloweenies! It's time for . . . A QUIZ!! I'm trying, really I am Yeah, yeah Mooshalu O, U again? No wonder my ass is so big! Funny Quizzes, courtesy of Stephanie I don't get paid enough for this Beware Weekend News Hodge Podge I never write anymore OR: An entry by Sara S. on the entymology of Sprewells By Stephanie (again) Since I am lazy . . . A GUEST BLOG!! by: Steph Nobody's got no class Spanish Update I stink I stink
Thoughts from Babs
Saturday, November 13, 2004
03:16 p.m.
On Thursday we finally revived happy hour, which I for one have been missing immensely. Sarah came over and she, Steph and I had a wonderful time. Since Matt was working, Bryan was playing pianny and JZ was getting his teeth cut out of his head, there were no manly distractions. Misty, however, was disappointingly absent, as she had to "rest". How taxing is drinking or watching your friends drink, really? But, it was really her loss, as we had a hilarious and funny time. Stephanie was on a roll, claiming that there was a movie in which a dog killed people on command whenever someone said "Rosebud". I was thinking the only movie I knew with a rosebud quote was Citizen Kane, so I thought maybe there was a spoof called Citizen Canine or something like that? It all ended up with Steph calling Blockbuster and asking if they had a movie with that plot. The guy had no idea. Very funny night, to say the least. And, I had yesterday off to take care of cute, chipmunk-cheeked John Zachary. It was pretty easy to take care of him since the pain meds had him passed out most of the time. Oh, one last thing, hallelujah that Texas pulled it out today. Next game will be a couple divided when Zach is rooting for A&M and I am going for UT. At least it is a friendly rivalry.
Thursday, November 4, 2004
05:16 p.m.
When I got home from work today, the cat was in the living room watching TV. Nobody else was, or had been home for about 4 hours. He was watching the WB. I guess he enjoys their quality programming as much as his aunties do.
Tuesday, November 2, 2004
04:08 p.m.
Best question ever asked of me by one of my students:
"Why would you vote for George W. Bush just because he's already president?"
PS- Go vote!
Monday, November 1, 2004
04:35 p.m.
Yes, it really is Hello Kitty's birthday, I know you can't believe it. And, she is exactly 5 years older than me. It makes me feel better that she still looks so good, means there may be hope for me at 30! And now, for your entertainment:
Weird things I got for my birthday:
1) an e-card from the cat,
2) an 8-pack of C2,
3) a card addressed to "the birthday gril",
4) a lipstick holder,
5) a used (I think) candle,
6) floss (as in dental)
Wonderful things I got for my birthday:
1) A new purse from Old Navy,
2) a Tyler's Austin, TX shirt,
3) an indoor grill,
4) a new Gregory Maguire book (the author who wrote Wicked),
5) a super-cute pink frame ,
6) 2 dozen roses (1 red, 1 yellow) from my parents
A pretty good day, I think! I'm off to floss now. :)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
04:36 p.m.
I would just like to say, on behalf of Stephanie and myself, that our friends are either 1) clueless, or 2) no fun AT ALL. You try to do a little hauting one night and nobody catches on. Losers.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
05:13 p.m.
Well, this was pretty accurate. However, I freakin' love people from the south! I am one, after all. And I don't know that I have ever opened a copy of The New York Times. Other than that, accurate. And, I did go vote on Monday, did you???
You are a . . . Typical Demoncrat. You hate the "idea" of Starbucks, but go often. You consider the New York Times your bible and generally think less of people from the south. Love him or hate him, you're voting for John Kerry.
Take the quiz and see who you're voting for!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
04:32 p.m.
In the morning, I have every intention of eating healthy all day long. I eat my 2 slices of turkey bacon for breakfast and I pack my low fat, low carb (Dr. Agatson would approve!)lunch in my (and by my, I mean Stephanie's) stylish Eddie Bauer lunch bag. But then I get to work and it is like I am in some weird other world. THe vending machine calls out my name and I decide that it is ok to have a Pop Tart on my conference. I mean, it has been over 3 hours since breakfast, and what is that thing they say about 6 small meals? And, a Pop Tart is really like fruit and bread, right? You do, of course, know that when I say Pop Tart, I mean a package of them, which I guess is really 2. Well, then I feel bad about it and eat my healthy lunch at lunchtime and feel decent about myself. Well, then the children come back and I try to show them how to put rubber bands on shirts for tie-dying and one of them cries because he bit the skin off a blister and now it hurts (no I did not make that up). At this point I NEED some chocolate so after school I head back to the vending machine and get, what else but a Twix. The only candy bar that is actually 2 candy bars. It was totally worth it then, but I do regret it now. I feel like one of those people who sleep-eats, except I work eat. I could start a new disorder group. I am sure there are others out there like me.
On a completely unrelated note, I saw a man walking on the side of the road today and he was wearing a shirt that said "Let's get naked". Is it just me or is it kind of an oxymoron to WEAR a SHIRT that says let's get naked?
Friday, October 8, 2004
06:37 p.m.
It's about football again, but it will all be over by this time tomorrow. And, these are really funny. I especially like Ho-ho's.
Friday, October 8, 2004
03:51 p.m.
Everybody celebrate 25 years of Stephanie today! We wouldn't know the fun of hopping in dumpsters without her. So . . . RESPEK!!
Monday, October 4, 2004
05:26 p.m.
Ok, so I know that most people (person) who read this are not into sports all that much. But, I am. Especially Football. Especially Longhorn Football. Especially ESPECIALLY when it is the week of the Texas-OU game. I mean, we have lost for the past 5 years. To freakin' Oklahoma, our arch nemesis. We absolutely HAVE to win this year. At least now Mack Brown realizes what the problem is. Following is from his press conference today:
The last four years, you talk about the streak and why we've lost; it's really on me. The players change, I'm the constant. I have been at every game and I just haven't done my job. You have to give OU credit for being great. Two of the four games we were in it in the fourth quarter and they made plays to win, and the other two years we played poorly. It usually comes down to turnovers and kicking game, and we haven't run the ball well. If you talk to our players it's not about them, it's me, I'm the one who hasn't done well in this game. We've done well in all the other games, so this is obviously something that I need to do a better job of this week.
Well, you know it's all you, we know it's all you, so FIX IT!! I personally have made plans to be nowhere near a TV this Saturday (Fiesta Texas, woo hoo!) so that I won't go into cardiac arrest. I figure that maybe, just maybe, if I ignore it, that they will pull off a win. And a win puts UT a lot closer to 1) a national championship (yeah, I said it, get over it); and 2) another Heisman for a dope-smokin' running back with dreads. PLEASE let it be so!
Monday, September 27, 2004
04:13 p.m.
I would tell you what I put on my burrito, but then I would have to kill you!
What's on your burrito?
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
04:36 p.m.
I am a boxmaker. Well, they are right, I do love a good sing-a-long at the music hall. My damn husband dies in the trenches though. Selfish bastard. He better have had a picture of me in the pocket over his heart when he got stabbed through it with a bayonet. Wait, they had pictures then, right?
I am 78% Snob. Hey! Stephanie was only 50%. It's because I judge people by their shoes, isn't it?
Monday, September 20, 2004
04:07 p.m.
A kid in my class wet her pants today.
Twice.
That is all.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
04:41 p.m.
For those of you who didn't know (including myself), my laundry is very dangerous. You never know what it could be doing or when it's out to get you. Seriously. How do I know this, you ask? Well, I know that my laundry is armed (the shirts at least!) and dangerous because the cat, which, as previously discussed, is the smartest animal ever, has been attacking it for the last 5 minutes. I kid you not. I am sorting and the cat is pouncing on my dirty laundry. I sure am lucky that he is here to keep me safe. Since now he is sitting in the middle of the offending laundry and licking himself. Ahh, good security cat. Although, earlier I think he was trying to unhook my DVD player and steal it. Maybe he is a double agent.
Monday, September 13, 2004
04:12 p.m.
Augh, Monday already again! Another weekend flew by with busy-ness. (I tried to spell that the first time and it came our business!) Friday night was a quick dinner with the BF and then girls' night. We made a fort and watched Intolerable Cruelty while attempting to drink Cosmos. I fell asleep in the middle, but if you've seen it, can you blame me? Weird movie.
Saturday it was off to Aggieland (yes, you read that correctly) to see a football game. I am such an awesome girlfriend, I wore a maroon A&M shirt, did all the yells, kissed after the scores (not like that part was hard), sang the War Hymn (sans the "saw varsity's horns off" part- I hate that part and I think it is gay) and WHOOPed with the best of them. However, I think that one needs a class in what to do before attending an Aggie game. For instance, during the Aggie War Hymn when they sing "sounds like hell", you lean back and kind of yell it. Imagine 65,000 people in the stadium and 64,999 lean back when they sing "sounds like hell". I was the only one who didn't. I felt like a dork and Zach just laughed at me. It was a pretty good game, though and the Aggies won 31-0. If you are wondering why the other team didn't score any points, it is because it was Wyoming and, as previously discussed, that state does not exist. Therefore, Zach came to the determination that they are so bad because they have no state, therefore nowhere to practice. He is just about as funny as I am. :)
After the game we went out for his sister's friend's 20th birthday (I felt about a million years old) then to a party where I had to listen to people badmouth my Longhorns and then got to rub it in their faces when UT pulled off the win in Fayeteville.
Sunday I had Chicken Express for the first time and I have to admit that it is a lot better than Golden Chick. We drove him through the disgusting "love bugs" then had fondue fun at Sarah's that night. I like busy weekends, but they sure do go by fast! This will be another one since it is ACL fest weekend!
Friday, September 10, 2004
04:30 p.m.
That is my favorite category on Jeopardy. I like it when Alex is naming the categories and he says it all Canadian-like. I also like when the contestants say "I'd like hodge podge for $600, Alex." Good stuff.
Umm, the kids this year just aren't that funny yet. However, one got upset yesterday when he got a time out and begged me not to tell his mom about it. I asked why, thinking that he would get beaten or something and he told me "If my mom knows I got in trouble, she'll throw away my Legos." I don't know why, but that was freakin' hilarious.
I have found that my roommate's annoying cat will stop meowing for quite some time if you cuss at it.
Cat: Meow
Me: Shut up, you *#!(%(^*$#(&%@(*!$(!@&*$!(%&!
Cat: Puzzled look.
I was looking for a Halloween costume online last night and came across a "couples" costume section. One of the costumes was a plug and an outlet. The boy wears this costume that looks like an electric plug (strategically placed, mind you) and the girl wears one that looks like an outlet. A bit too suggestive for my tastes, thanks though.
Sorry this is so lame. Just be glad it is an update. I am off to yell profanities at the cat!
Tuesday, September 7, 2004
04:26 p.m.
Being as gangsta as we are, the subject of Sprewells, or
spinners, comes up often between Steph and I. Most
commonly, we discuss why anyone would call them anything but
Sprewells. Spinners is clearly an inferior label. When I
told my boyfriend about this, he laughed at me. First for
talking about Sprewells at all. Second for calling them
Sprewells. He said that no one called them Sprewells.
Which led to my research. The where, why, and how of
Sprewells vs. spinners.
For those of you who are not familiar with gangsta lingo,
spinners are those round, shiny, spinny things that people
put on their ghetto car tires to make them look "phat"
When the tires are spinning, the spinners spin, often in the
opposite direction of the tires, giving the car a "bling"
look.
Sprewells are actually a type of spinner, created by
the "baller" Latrell Sprewell. He has a store called
Sprewell Racing (Google it, "homies") that sells all kinds
of car parts including, yes, spinners, otherwise known
as "Sprewells". You have to admit, Sprewells sounds much
more "pimp" than spinners.
David was forced to agree that Sprewells is indeed a
legitimate name for the spinny things. My research was also
validated when David saw a kid who he was playing basketball
with wearing some ghetto Sprewell sneakers that actually had
spinners ON the shoe. They spun around while the kid ran.
For just $109, you too can increase your "fly" factor with
these "pimp" shoes. Boo ya, foo.
Friday, September 3, 2004
04:28 p.m.
OK, so I'm sharing more randomness to keep this blog going. It's 9:25
AM
and already I've had an exciting morning. Since I've gotten to work
I've
been looking for cover photos for a history book. Right now I'm
looking for
Colin Powell. It's fun to find pictures and make up what he's saying
(sort
of like me and Barbara's TV Mute game). So far, I have a picture where
Colin looks like Dr. Evil, one where he looks drunk, one where he seems
to
be saying "can't touch this...dunuhnuhnu" and one where I have him
saying
"where am I? what's my name?" (which is sort of a me/Barbara joke -
sorry).
Anyhow, you guys should try this. It's hilarious. I wish I could
bring
you all to work with me so I had someone to laugh with. But,
even though I'm
having a ball over here entertaining myself, thank god it's Friday!
And
Barbara, Misty and Sarah - you better figure out your secret password
to get
on the boat. Pumpernickel. ;)
Wednesday, September 1, 2004
03:30 p.m.
OK, since Barbara has decided to not write in her blog ever again, I am
taking over her wasteland as my own and sharing my random thoughts. We
all
know if I did that as often as I had random thoughts it would be too
long
though, so I'm limiting myself. Today I'm going to tell you about the
dumb
thing that made me cry. I don't know when I became a cryer, it's
something
to do with being older, but a Home Depot commercial made me cry last
night.
Yes, beware, the Home Depot has a real tear jerker out right now. The
daughter in this family decides she wants to get married in the back
yard of
her parents house and they're building a deck and all sorts of things,
buying arches for the ceremony etc., and the good people at Home Depot
are
helping. In the end the dad looks at a picture of his daughter as a
little
girl in the back yard, and she walks up in her wedding dress and he
takes
her outside and she says something about it being beautiful. Thanks
Home
Depot for making weddings beautiful. Who knew they could do that?!
And now
I'm almost crying just typing about it. I'm a big baby. I cry over
lumber
now. That's all.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
05:35 p.m.
Tuesday was the first day of school. We were supposed to eat with our classes the first 3 days. This would not have been a problem had I not forgotten my lunch on Tuesday. I fared better on Wednesday and Thursday by remembering a lunch. Since these lunches had to be taken in the cafeteria, they were fairly boring, consisting of only a sandwich and some chips. I usually prefer something hot, but as the cafeteria doesn't have a microwave (in clear view, anyway), I had to settle. However, our counselor has been leaving snacks in the lounge for us. Each day on my conference period (which is right after lunch) I go in to examine her fare. Yesterday I had some pretzels. Today, though, I hit the jackpot with jelly beans and Oreos. After I ate them, I was quickly reminded of why I don't eat Oreo's when I am out of reach of my toothbrush. Every square centimeter of my mouth was covered in chocolate crumbs which had now mixed with my spit to create a chocolate paste. Not attractive. I tried rinsing with water. It didn't work. I tried rinsing vigorously with water. No dice. I even tried flossing (yes, I have floss in my drawer at school). Still nothing. Finally, I had to bring out the big guns, which were, in this case, a thumb tack. Yes, for about 5 minutes today I stood in front of the mirror in my cabinet and dug Oreo remnants out of my teeth with a thumb tack. I am, in fact, one classy broad.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
12:02 p.m.
Now that I think about it, the janitors might have said I was pequeno, not pescado. That makes more sense, since pequeno means small. In other news, I am hella busy trying to get ready for the first day of school (1 week away) and "Meet the teacher night" (2 days away!). I will update with funny stories about this year's crazies later. Sidenote: Some of you wonder how I can deal with children. Well, 2 of my closest friends are 1) Stephanie- random questions about boats on the GUlf of Mexico; and 2) Misty- made a list of all 100 pairs of her shoes on her blog. Now do you see how I do it?
Wednesday, August 4, 2004
04:17 p.m.
That is why I haven't updated yesterday or today. I have been lugging things all around town (well, mostly in about a 5 mile radius, but still). Monday I had to disassemble and transport my old pal, the trampoline, from my old casa to Sarah's new casa. It seems that her boyfriend, Matt, was in serious need of some jump therapy for his self-diagnosed ADD. Yesterday began the great migration of all my teaching stuff from my bedroom and the garage into my new classroom. Luckily, I had one of those flat trucks to help me, as well as 2 very nice, if not very well-versed in English, janitors. They kept talking to me and said my boxes were heavy and I was "pescado". Now, I don't remember much Spanish, but doesn't that mean fish? Is there some other slang meaning for it? When we were finished lugging stuff from my car to my room yesterday, they said "See you tomorrow!". Apparently I am now best friends with the janitors. This is not unusual, since my new best friend was Traco, the maintenance man, after last year's district-wide Christmas party. But, I digress. The main point is that now all my crap is happily in my classroom, where it belongs. And I have not showered today, so I am very smelly and sweaty. And, I promise that after everything is set up in my room and I am bored again that I will post more regularly. I hear that I am supposed to be getting a guest blog from Sara about Sprewells, but I have yet to see it. ;)
Wednesday, August 4, 2004
03:20 p.m.
That is why I haven't updated yesterday or today. I have been lugging things all around town (well, mostly in about a 5 mile radius, but still). Monday I had to disassemble and transport my old pal, the trampoline, from my old casa to Sarah's new casa. It seems that her boyfriend, Matt, was in serious need of some jump therapy for his self-diagnosed ADD. Yesterday began the great migration of all my teaching stuff from my bedroom and the garage into my new classroom. Luckily, I had one of those flat trucks to help me, as well as 2 very nice, if not very well-versed in English, janitors. They kept talking to me and said my boxes were heavy and I was "pescado". Now, I don't remember much Spanish, but doesn't that mean fish? Is there some other slang meaning for it? When we were finished lugging stuff from my car to my room yesterday, they said "See you tomorrow!". Apparently I am now best friends with the janitors. This is not unusual, since my new best friend was Traco, the maintenance man, after last year's district-wide Christmas party. But, I digress. The main point is that now all my crap is happily in my classroom, where it belongs. And I have not showered today, so I am very smelly and sweaty. And, I promise that after everything is set up in my room and I am bored again that I will post more regularly. I hear that I am supposed to be getting a guest blog from Sara about Sprewells, but I have yet to see it. ;)