Saturday, September 29, 2001
Now Playing: Chigau Boku na Iru (There's Another Me) - Kidou Jyou/Kikuchi Masami - Digimon Adventure
Well, hello everyone~...long time no see. ^_^;; I was sick again for that past week. Twice. >_o But that's boring, so I'll just ramble on about something else. XD
*Ufu*...it's so nice that most of the digimon characters can actually sing. XD Though that might be a bad thing, because it just fuels my little obsession. Nyahahahaaa...it's quite scary how many Digimon mp3s I have. I don't think I should say, because it might freak Cindy out. X3
Oh, and Cindy...hands off the poster! Mine! And while you're waiting for the Bebop DVDs, you could try watching those twelve episodes of Escaflowne I loaned you because it's really quite good. *staaaare*
*kira kira* I just checked the tracker, and Meimi linked to my blog! I love her blog! I love her layouts! I love her fics! Oh dear, I hope I'm not starting to sound like a stalker. *_*;
It turns out that that anime store I was talking about last week...wasn't. ~_~;; It was just a little tiny store with some cutesy Japanese and Chinese stuff. (I was rather traumatized by some very uncute bootleg Tare Panda stuff. x_x;;) But~ it did give me a nice idea of what to put for the tail lettering of my name on the back of my school leather jacket. The store's called Niko Niko. XD XD XD I found a very nice guide to Japanese sound effects (with fun translated Yuu Yuu Hakushou doujinshi scans as visual aids! XD) to help refresh my memory on some sound effects. :3 I found out that 'nita', which a few of my friends call me, is the sound effect for a sinister smile. And that Amuses Me greatly. 'mura mura' is the sound effect of sexual arousal. Nyahahaa. Anyway~<3 I eventually narrowed down my choices for the tail lettering to 'niko niko', 'doki doki', 'kira kira', 'hanyaaan', 'piyo piyo', and briefly toyed with just plain ol' 'ecchi'. It took me a while to decided between 'niko niko' and 'doki doki', but I finally decided upon 'doki doki'. It's all Tin's fault. Ruminations on doki-doki-doki. H_H
After going to Niko Niko, I managed to persuade 'tousan to go to the Hong Kong Mall because I needed to shop for some rather belated birthday presents that I haven't had time to shop for due to the sicknesses from hell, and I'm sure 'tousan was just dying to go to buy some oriental foods he was lacking in, yes yes yes? XD I went to the Yamato Gift Shop. And they had Tare Panda stuff. And I cackled muchly. XD XD XD I bought Tare Panda paper and planner-type things along with a couple cute pens and sticker sheets for Melanie and Meli (and myself X3). And there were three gigantic Tare Panda pillow plushies. *_* I succumbed and bought one for myself. There's no body. It's just the head. A head that's over half a meter long. XD XD XD I love it to bits, and it was only $16.99~<3 I don't splurge for myself very often, so I left feeling a rather guilty about spending $60 on presents for my friends and myself. But $50 of it was money I begged 'kaasan to give me for presents (just about the only thing besides food and clothes she'll give my money for...), so I guess it's okay. *_* And Keiko finally decided what she wanted for her birthday (she's the pickiest girl, I swear), so now all I have to do is find a nice small photo album that holds 4x6 photos. Shopping for Keiko has never been this easy. *_*
Aaah~! I want to go to that~! Excuse me for a moment while I envy Fabian for being at MIT...
After violin lessons today, I stopped by Barnes and Noble. I was dying for a capucchino from Starbucks, which is a place I've only succumbed to twice in my life, amazingly enough. Mmmm...chilled caramel brownie capucchino...yuuuummy~<3 I needed the pick-me-up because I had to go see Meli afterwards to work on our catapult project for Physics (blech...we hardly got anything done, we're still mostly clueless about what to do, and it's due at the end of next week...;_;), and I was dead tired becuase I was up half the night reading Harry Potter fanfiction. *_* I ended up stopping by the children's section to oggle the Harry Potter books. I still have yet to read beyond the first book, so I was twitching to splurge again. ^_^;; I managed not to succumb, but...but...I waaaant~ ;_; Maybe I ought to just ask for the books for my birthday, since my friends are asking what I want... Nyoo...X3 I've made myself a wishlist at Amazon. Take a look and guess what obsession I'm wallowing in at the moment. ^_^;;
*yawn* Back to bed...gotta wake up early tomorrow...today...whatever for orchestra crap. >_o;; More on that later. Zzzzz...
--Maron sighed at 01:04 a.m.
Friday, September 21, 2001
Now Playing: On the Hill - Maeda Ai
Hmmm...seems I've been listening to the same few songs over and over again lately. ^^; But this is such a preeeetty soooong~<3
Hm. Darn. Logged into Pitas thinking I'd do some blogging, but I'm drawing a complete blank for interesting things to say. Maybe my mind will return to me halfway through...
I've been staying after school for about 2 1/2 hours the past couple of days to help out with making the Homecoming banners. I worked a lot for Science Club because there were only four of us working on it. The people who actually came for the club meeting all left before we started working on the banner, and none of the officers except for the president came to the meeting, period. T_T; The president was really pissed and said that we ought to be officers instead of them since we were the only ones who actually bothered to stay and help... *sweatdrop* So it was just the club president, our sponsor (Mr. Hahn), Melanie, Ritika, and myself. We didn't get very far because we spent forever trying to come up with ideas for the design (Mr. Hahn ended up designing the main part of it ^_^;), but I think it's turning out pretty nicely. I'll probably go help again Monday afternoon after the Mu Alpha Theta club meeting. I didn't help much with the orchestra banners though. There was a decent number of people helping, so there wasn't much for me to do. So I contented myself for the most part in being the laborer and stabbing and hacking at Cindy's solidified paints so we'd actually be able to use them. ^_^;
Whoever put up our orchestra posters (I'm assuming the presidents (who ended up being Kelly and Ryan...I was rather hoping that James Nicholson would win), put them up with other some people's help) put my poster waaaay up at the top practically touching the high ceiling. ;_; The frightening cuteness can't be properly appreciated all the way up there~ ;_; I can hardly even see what the pictures are unless I stand way close to the wall...
James Chen is really starting to piss me off again. >__<;; Vandiver was asking for parent volunteers to help out next Saturday, and Mrs. Baevich, my 9th grade geometry teacher and Mu Alpha Theta/Math Club sponsor, is one of them. When her daughter came back to say that she could help, James asked me if Mrs. Baevich was "that geometry teacher." So I told him, yes, and he calls her bitch. He then started repeating "Baevich the Bitch" several times over. I wanted to SLAP him right there in the middle of class. Mrs. Baevich is one of the nicest, most likable teachers I've ever had. I don't recall anyone ever insulting her or even disliking her before today. In fact, whenever people talk about her, it's always something complimentary. She's a person with whom one can actually have a nice conversation with, she's incredibly nice, smart (and actually has common sense, which seems to be rather rare among the teachers I've had), open-minded, extremely mild-tempered, and hardworking. I like and respect her a lot. So hearing this ASS practically SINGING "Baevich the Bitch" just pisses me off to no end. *growl* I would have bitched at him if it weren't for the fact that Vandiver would've bitched at me in turn for talking in class. I'm starting to think I ought to blow up a picture of James and buy a dart set. >_<
Okay. *huff* Must not let idiots ruin my semi-good mood.
We also watched the broadway musical 1776 in U.S. History yesterday and today. I watched it in 5th and 8th grade too, and it just seems to get more cackle-worthy every time I watch it. ^_^;; I guess all that silly-stupid singing and joking grows on me. The portrayal and acting of Franklin just cracks me up to no end. XD
Nyoo~<3 Dad tells me there's some new big anime store on Beltway 8. XD He says that if I really want to go, he'll take me there after violin lessons tomorrow. XD XD XD I hope it really is gigantic, and he's not just exaggerating or something. I'm crossing my fingers hoping it might actually have some decent selection. Besides Planet Anime, which I can never go to, Houston's so lacking in the anime department. ~_~
Argh. I think I'm getting sick AGAIN. My throat was sore during last period, and then got better by the end of it. And now it's really starting to feel like a sore throat that I get when I'm sick. At least it just feels like a cold coming on, and not something that's going to make me miss more school. But I'm really hoping that my pathetic immune system wins this time. ~_~
--Maron sighed at 08:02 p.m.
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
Now Playing: SLASH! - Oota Michihiko [Digimon Tamers]
*sparkle* Neil Gaiman's picture book, The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish, is being animated~! XD XD XD
And I think Atashi wa Bambi's starting to catch my interest again. <3 It's too bad there's no translations for any of it besides the first chapter. It's not as hard for me to follow as Arina's stories, and I get the general gist of the story, but I still miss out on some things. ;_;
Anyway~<3 I checked Royal Slumber today, and Meimi's translated the next-to-last chapter of Time Stranger Kyoko. So now there's at least that's one Ribon chapter I can fully understand! *niko* Thank you Meimi~! X3 *bounces off to properly sparkle at Arina-goodness*
--Maron sighed at 11:02 p.m.
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
Now Playing: Moon Fighter - Makino Ruki/Orikasa Fumiko [Digimon Tamers]
Wow...I've been blogging a lot this week. XD
Ruki has such a cool voice. :3 I wonder if I should change the song to something super catchy so I can get the national anthem outta my head. >_>;
Stayed after school to make up my Pre-Cal test, which was okay, even though I completely blanked out on two problems and ended up just giving up on them. ~_~ When I got back to the orchestra room, a few people were practicing for the singing grade. After they were all through singing for a grade, Vandiver apparently decided to make me sing right that moment. With the door to the office wide upon for all to hear. And not even a chance to recite in my head first. >__<; It rather pisses me off that she doesn't grade fairly. I heard Phillip singing - which translates to fluctuating between simple dull recitation and a sort of sing-song voice for him. He stopped several times while Vandiver patiently waited for him to continue on. Yet he still received a hundred. I started saying one word wrong and paused for a split second to recollect my thoughts. And she immediately corrected me and gave me a 97 for that one mistake. *sigh* At least it's over with. And I think I actually managed to hit those high notes in tune. *^_^* I was too nervous and panicky to really pay attention, but I think she commented "Ooh, a sorprano," when I hit that first high note. >.>;
I have decided that Mrs. Long is one evil sadistic lady.
Mrs. Long: FREE DAY! *dramatic pause*
Class: Eee~h?! *_* Really~?! *sparklies*
Mrs. Long: Just ki~dding~! <3 <3 <3 *^_^*
>_>;;
I really wonder if Mrs. Pellikan remembers Wiriya at all. When I was in the middle of taking my DBQ, she suddenly out of the blue asked how Nick was doing, commented that he's such a nice, brilliant young man, but she never sees him anymore it's such a shame he doesn't visit. No mention of Neechan at all, even though she was just one year ahead of Nick. >.>; On another note, I did get a 90 on my DBQ, which is quite good for a first try, if I do say so myself. *niko* She posts grades according to ID number, and at least in my class, the grades for it ranged between 75 and 90.
Keiko gave me Ribon numbers 8 and 9 today. *niko niko niko* Of course, being the evil girl she is, she gave it to me in first period even though she could've just left it in her locker till orchestra and she didn't even bother putting them in a bag. So I was going around in the morning carrying three textbooks and two phonebooks. I hid the Ribon magazines in my backpack, since I didn't really feel like carrying around two big brightly colored books and having everyone assume it was Sailor Moon. ~_~; Didn't really have time to try to figure out what's happening, so I've only flipped through looking at the art and trying to read some of the more important looking text. Azuki Ryo's new manga "Weightless Boy" looks rather fun, as usual. I like the main boy's character design. He's wearing a dolphin earring! X3 Let's see...Vinita: Cackled at the Cheap Drunk Touwa-kun, Hizuki in Drag, and the Chiaki-like Sakataki. XD XD XD Squicked at incentuous sex in Andante. Alternately sparkled and ;_;ed at the crying King of Chikyuukoku and that last gorgeous picture of Akira/Wiidoshiku. Twitched at Ui-hime, ph34ed HizukixUi, and pitied the hapless Hizuki who seems to have been appointed Ui's bodyguard. Still thinks TobaxKaren is really cute, but nonetheless wishes for an existing HizukixKaren fandom. ^_^; And of course is basking in WAFF from seeing two Tanemura Arina-sensei chapters in one day. *niko*
--Maron sighed at 07:55 p.m.
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Now Playing: On the Hill - Maeda Ai
*taps foot impatiently* Post, Pitas! Dammit, poooost!
'Kaasan has MASSACRED the trees outside. I came home today and stopped in the driveway just to stare in horror at the graveyard of tree branches and leaves in the front yard. She apparently decided that the trees needed a little "trimming," which, in 'Kaasan-speak, is being scissors-happy and mutilating such things as trees, shrubs, bushes, and unfortunately, my hair, beyond recognition. When I ask her to "trim" two or three inches off of my hair, she chops off eight. And when I was in the second grade, she once decided to take a "short-cut" in cutting my bangs. Meaning she grabbed a gigantic wad of it and CHOP. Back then, my hair wasn't leaning towards frizzy as it does now thanks to this godforsaken Houston weather, but it was still poofy. So when I had but one inch left of my bangs, they went POOF. Think dandelions and cute round fuzzy bunny tails and you get a pretty accurate image of what my "bangs" were. And that's the story of why Vinita chooses not to let 'Kaasan touch her hair more often than twice a year.
Vandiver is an EVIL EVIL EVIL woman. We have to _sing_. The _Star-Spangled Banner_. In _orchestra_. For a _grade_. I've only had to sing for a grade once in my life - "America, the Beautiful" for fifth grade music class. The teacher said I did extremely well and that I had a very pretty sorprano voice and ought to join the choir. So I did and had quite a bit of fun. But puberty has Changed things. When I tell people I used to be a sorprano, they have this tendency to boggle at me. I quite doubt my ability to actually sing in tune now. And I've heard we have to sing in the correct key. The initial octave goes too high for me. Not to say that my voice range doesn't go that high; rather, it's just that I sound like a dying cat when I attempt to sing "the rockets' red glare." And at an octave lower, I sound even more pathetic. Yes, I know my voice range sucks. ~_~;; And I just KNOW that Vandiver's going to be laughing her ass off tomorrow when she hears us. >__<;;
On a happier note, I just love looking at my tracker and finding out that two more fun people have linked to my log. One of them being Tin, who I've been faithfully stalking since she first posted the first chapter of "Of Love and Honor" at the KFFDisc. Though she probably doesn't want to hear that, considering that she describes it as "Lots and lots and lots of bad AoshixMisao angst" at Vanity Press. XD;;; Erin has a rather pretty autumn layout too (and it's KKJ! X3). I don't think she meant for it to be interpreted that way, but her layout seems rather appropriate considering the events of last week. And speaking of layouts related to last week's tragedy, Nocturnal Miyu of the rotating music gallery Eien no Uta made a really nice fitting layout featuring Kotori of X inspired by last week's events. And last but not least~<3 Keiko's (not the Keiko that lives down the street; I'd probably have a coronary if she ever found out about this >_>;;) cute Yami no Matsuei-themed blog is particularly good for when I feel like preening. XD Thanks for the compliment~! :3
--Maron sighed at 08:37 p.m.
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Now Playing: Flame of Love - Sweet Velvet [Moster Farm Ed 1]
Insomnia strikes again. >__<;;
I need to bug my friends to take the Keirsey personality test. *niko* Yes, I am nosy and curious.
Such a pretty pretty song. I've never watched more than one episode of the dub "Monster Rancher," and it didn't seem particularly interesting. Never expected to hear such a pretty pretty song from that series. I'll have to look into Sweet Velvet sometime.
*sigh* What to do, what to do...
--Maron sighed at 02:11 a.m.
Monday, September 17, 2001
Now Playing: Tsumetai Hana (Cold Flower) - The Brilliant Green
It occurs to me that I probably shouldn't be singing this out loud, considering those two easily misinterpreted lines in English and all... >_>;; But I think it fits my mood, so oh well. :3
Was sick again for...what, the third or fourth time this past month? ~_~; Fever's broken though, so I'm just having that crappy feeling of weakness now. Should be back to school tomorrow, unless my immune system decides again that it's going to go pathetic on me again tonight.
I wish I could trade my immune system of my elementary school years with my pathetic immune system of today. I wasn't exactly the healthiest kid back then, but at least I was only slightly more slightly more sickly than the average person. Now...>_<;; If I hadn't been sick for over half the semester last year, I definately would've ranked in the top twenty of my class and maybe in the top ten. Now I'll just be happy to be in the top 10% and ecsatic to be in the top 5% because I get the feeling that my grades for last semester were pretty atrocious. Before last semester, I had only gotten one B, and that was an 89 in Bio I also due to long-term sickness. >___<;;; And besides orchestra and one year of Spanish II for which honors wasn't offered, I've been taking all honors classes. So if it weren't for my ridiculously pathetic immune system, I would have been so well off. Grrr. Keiko was telling me that people were looking at the top of the class rankings and wondering where the heck I was. ~_~;; *sigh* And it doesn't just affect my grades either... I joined four clubs last year, but I might not even get credit for being them since I hardly attended any at all the second semester since I was constantly bouncing between sickness and constant make-up work. It really really irks me that my effing pathetic immune system is probably going to cost me a ticket to some of those really good colleges. I really hope that my parents let me use UT as one of my back-up colleges in case I don't make it to some elite college like Rice that they've been pressing me to go to. I wouldn't mind going there, but my parents are so adamant against it since Nont and Nick both had terrible studying habits at UT when they got into the party scene. I really can't see myself doing that at all. Yes, I've gotten a bit less introverted over the years, but I'd choose spending my time alone or with a small group of friends over going to a party with a bunch of people I don't know any day. And after reading into the avoidant personality disorder the past couple weeks, I think it describes me pretty well. XP I'm sure there's substantial evidence of it in my blog entries. Hell, the latter half of the last one alone... ~_~;
And on the subject of personality, how long has the Keirsey character sorter been down anyway? It seems that whenever I try to access it, it's down. Maybe I just have bad timing...? Anyway, I took the the temperment sorter again today since that's still up, and got pegged for an NT after I agonized over the 70 question test for about 45 minutes. Looking at the essays describing the different qualities assigned to each letter, I'm probably an iNTp according to the character sorter, despite the fluctuations in results of the past. It's been a few years since I last took the test. I think that the few times I took it previously over the years, I didn't make as much of an effort back then to be really honest with myself, which is something I still have trouble with. I sometimes ended up answering questions with what I perceived as being the "better" or more "responsible" choice - what my seemingly ideal answer was. I think in all I ended up getting iNTp, iNTj, iNFp, and iNFj. Without a doubt, I'm quite introverted, and now that I've really absorbed the meaning of each category, I definately can't see myself being put in the categories of Sensation rather than Intuition or Judgement rather than Perception. If any was changed, it'd be none other but Thinking to Feeling. I'm pretty dead-set on the others. I think I do have a tendency for some of the qualities of a person more inclined to Feeling, but I think Thinking is probably more predominant in the end. I don't think I really see myself being more of an Idealist and Healer than Rational and Architect anyway. ^^;; Besides, I know I'm a freak for thinking this, but the description of an Architect sounds so romantic to me. *sweatdrop* I guess I'm just an NT with sentimental and romantic tendencies. At least, the first bullet for Idealists seems completely correct, even though the others are completely off:
"Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom."
^__^;; I think that's enough for now on the funkay Vinita personality session. *niko*
--Maron sighed at 10:14 p.m.
Saturday, September 15, 2001
Still Playing: Flame of Love - Sweet Velvet
I could never articulate on the matter as well as millions of others have. So if you're looking for deep well-said thoughts, go check out my blog links. Chances are, they've said everything I would like to say, but better. Especially Ragabash. Always a good place to go. Meanwhile, my shallow teenage thoughts will continue to leak out every now and then.
Tuesday at approximately 9:15 during second period physics, Mr. Leech, our principle, made a short announcement to the teachers telling them to drop everything they were doing and check their e-mail for an extremely important message.
I distinctly remember kinda wishing that we could just get back to class because we had finally gotten to the part I didn't understand.
As Mrs. Long read the message, all she could say was "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..." over and over and over again. Most everyone in my class thought that a student had died because that's exactly what happened the previous three times these same events had played out before our eyes.
It didn't really really hit me until we started watching the news fifteen minutes later, and I watched the towers fall over and over again. In all my classes, we just watched the news on CBS all day. Students were allowed to go home if their parents called, and all after-school activities were canceled. It still disgusts me that most of the people going home left just because it was an oppurtunity not to be in school.
In orchestra, I saw for the first time footage of people cheering over this tragedy. I know it affected me much more than seeing the towers collapse dozens of times. It was one of the first reactions of people I saw on television. It sickened me to see elderly ladies and small children cheering over the deaths of thousands. It's just horribly wrong to see anyone joyously celebrating when thousands of people have died.
I kind of wish they had never shown those particular reactions. I don't believe that thousands of innocents ought to have a bomb dropped on them because of the horrible actions of a few. And things like this just make it worse. I don't, and hopefully never will, discriminate on basis of sex, race, creed, sexual preference, and whatever other groups people may place others in. As if the terrorist attacks weren't enough, they just had to show this and spark even more prejudices and harrassments of innocent people based on race and religion who don't deserve that kind of treatment. It disturbs me that people will have prejudices against these people for decades to come. But I am glad that Bush made a speech condemning that sort of idiocy.
I didn't cry. I don't have any loved ones who have died or really been affected by this. But the entire day I had an awful feeling in my gut, and cold shivers ran through my body as I watched the news. Not much different from now, I suppose. I'm glad that for the most part I'm surrounded by good people. I have yet to hear first hand remarks along the lines of "Let's go bomb those Arabs!" and "They had it coming for them!" that so many others have. Though I do wish my parents at least seemed to care a bit more. Maybe it's just me, but they don't really seem to sympathize much about the deaths. When my mother called Tuesday afternoon, she asked whether I had heard about what had happened and commented that everyone was getting "all excited", and the way she said it, it seemed she might as well have been commenting on people getting all worked up over some frivolous dinner party. And all my dad seems to talk about is the effects this has on Thailand and Thai people. He talks about Thailand rather than any other country. He talks about the small number of Thai people working in the WTC towers, rather than the people as a whole. *sigh*
People have been coming by during the last period of the day - U.S. History for me - to collect donations since Thursday. I don't have much, but I've been donating a couple dollars everyday. It's just a really nice feeling to help out just a bit and to see so many others contributing. The first day, my class alone donated $25, and I can tell that even more donations were made yesterday. I think it's a really nice way to end the day.
And now for a bit of selfish shallow teenage angst. Yesterday we had a chair test. The day before that after school, I was telling Tristan that I get horribly nervous over chair tests, and that chances were, he would see me have an anxiety attack before the year was over. I just didn't really expect it to be so soon. I didn't have the time or the ability to concentrate on practicing the past week, so that made it even worse. I always start getting nervous around the beginning of the period when there's a chairtest. If it's one of Mrs. Vandiver's spur-of-the moment things, I get nervous from the moment she tells us. So for over half an hour, I got more and more anxious and nervous by the second. By the time she started at the back of the second violin section I was breaking out in a sweat, and a couple minutes before it was my turn to play, I was shaking uncontrollably, breathing irregularly, and my pulse was around 140-something, give or take ten. I was having a hard time getting an accurate reading, for obvious reasons. I only had to play two or three lines, but by the end, I was feeling much much worse. When it's that bad, I'm always worse after I finish playing because I feel awful that I've played so horribly in front of so many people I know. Playing bad doesn't bother me too much, at least not enough to make me feel bad for more than an hour. It's that combined with being the focus of an audience that kills me. Not a minute after I had finished, my pulse had shot up even further, I was shaking rather violently, on the verge of hyperventilating, and crying. I had calmed down for the most part by the end or orchestra, but I was still crying a bit. Having an anxiety attack tends to do that to me.
And by the end of it all, not a single person I knew had asked if I was alright. Melanie stood by me for a very short moment at the end of class, told me I hadn't played badly and not to worry about it. Keiko walked with me to lunch. But that was all. Not a single person took a moment to ask if I was alright. Another friend came by to ask if Melanie was coming to lunch with her. Not a single other person stopped by for a fleeting moment. They just walked right past me and left for lunch. None of my friends at lunch spared me a word when I arrived shaken with red and puffy eyes. None of them seemed to really care. Hell, even a couple of boys I don't know at the next table noticed and looked at me uncomfortably as if they didn't know what to say, which is more than I can say for most others I know. Is something just fucking WRONG with me? Am I that unlikeable that I'm just not worth a second of another's time? Dammit, I need someone to talk to. My mom wouldn't really understand and tell me I need to learn to be calm. My dad would just lecture me on overreacting. My friends apparently don't give a shit. Piano isn't helping. I tried playing yesterday, but just ended up crying. And then I started feeling guilty because I could cry for myself but not for others and started sobbing. Shit. Now I'm just crying all over again. I need someone to talk to, but I don't.
--Maron sighed at 08:28 p.m.
Saturday, September 15, 2001
Now Playing: Flame of Love - Sweet Velvet [Monster Farm Op 1]
Shit. It just hit me that Nick's well within drafting age. For some reason, it never occured to me until now, even with all the talk that friends and classmates my own age are very much near that age. A couple years ago, we received mail from Thailand requesting his presence in the army. My mother had to mail back, saying he couldn't be drafted because he was an American citizen, not a Thai one. I remember being very glad for that. Now, with the very distinct possibility of war, and the thought that Nick could be drafted, along with all the people I know at school.... Shit.
Deeper blogging thoughts to come...for now, live goes on. Off to violin lessons.
--Maron sighed at 03:48 p.m.
