Listening to: Cirque du Soliel- Alegria, Yoko Kanno, Love Psychedelico and Akeboshi.
LOL, no Dir en Grey! It's a nice break and it's so....inspiring to hear. Makes you want to sing and proclaim love peace and happiness.
Life!
I see you sparkle, live shining
Life!
I hear you singing
Life!
Beautiful roaring spring, so extreme
There is love in my raging
Life!
Join it's magical feeling
Let's see.....
Arts Alive Camp
Was really much better than expected, and has LOTS of fun! I was in charge of the scavenger hunt, so I came up with REALLY perverted riddles for people to enjoy. Examples:
White legs spread wide
Swallowing your balls
Breathlessly ....
Hit or miss?
Ans: Goalpost.
Played really pervy games like BALL RUBBING! LOL....You see, balloons get "excited" when rubbed and you had to stick them on the wall. Quite dumb, pretty fun and very stupid. Made them dress up as various characters and play acted. Mr Tan was surprisingly nice and he gave us a pat on the back! Yay!
Played a screwed up version of Truth or Dare aka Toilet Roll game and found out things like: Mr Tan reads FEMALE magazines and he occasionally feels "gay"...*giggles* Quite funny~
Home
Errghhh....after 2 rounds of debriefing, we finally were allowed to go home. Since Sak didn't want to go home, I let her stay with me. Nearly missed the stop, cos we were so tired we almost fell asleep. People were staring! LOL. It seems that when I'm extremely tired I become extremely delirous. To the point that everybody - ranging from a tree to a lampost to an ugly man - looks like YOSHIKI! Tried to stay awake and managed to get home without falling over.
Got home, went to shower, ate a bit then went straight to sleep. Sleeping with Sak is nice~ she smells like flowers, doesn't snore and doesn't move too much~ ^_______^ And NO! we didn't do anything of any sort you hentai! Woke up at 8.30pm thereabouts, and started working on the press release.
Okay, let me say this once: ART=BULLSHIT
Wrote about 400++ words on Why everyone should visit the exhibition and all sorts of crap. I swear I've never used so many positive adjectives in my life. I bullshitted so much that I wanted to gag later. I mean, it was PURE propaganda.
Then again, it was for the MEDIA.
And you know what newspapers and televisions are like...
NEWSMAN.
Sent Sak home and went back home to sleep. I was actually going to *gasp* PAINT! but decided not to cos I was too tired. I don't want to die of exhaustion. It's sooo UNCOOL XD. That sounded so bimbotic right?
Today
Skipped AA, went for tuition instead. Nearly couldn't concnenrate and my teacher took pity on me and did Chemistry instead. Alkenes rock my universe~ Unstaturated carbon double bonds~ Learnt how to make more PVC bombs and kill people using various destructive methods. Apparently, you learn how to make Benzene and Cyanide in JC chemistry. ROCK!
I love toxicology~
In general
I'm happy that Auddy is back safe and sound~ Yay~ At least she had a great holiday! Anyhow, most of the stuff has been shifted and for those interested, the BubbleTan fic and Ten Days' should be up soon once I fix the spelling errors. Diffidere will be up on Saturday night~ keep watch!
I'm seeing if I can make progress at my site too.
I'm really happy that everyone is safe and back. Didn't have time to catch up with Neko though~ wonder what she's up to now. Talked to Sharon and she's fine. ^^ I'm glad ne~
So everything is fine and dandy and my dad isn't coming this week! YAY! *throws confetti*
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:12 p.m.+
Listening to: Darling Honey
Tired tired tired...........>.< I'm going to get eyebags soon. It doesn't help that I've just spent a record time of 5 HOURS typing out a bloody scavenger hunt.
You know~ I used to really like watching/reading about filmmakers.
Now, it's official: Wong Kar-wei, Mrilen Sen and Hitchcock. I hate you all
*looks sulky* So tireeed and tomorrow I have to be in school early too! Waiii~
Went for AA, painted and got really dirty and stinky. Went back to school to finish up some work and fix last minute details. Thank you Mrs Low! Yay! She's secretly pervy I bet.
Okay, I'm really tired.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:33 p.m.+
Listening to: Egnirys Cimredopyh and White Destiny (Pretear)
Okay folks, my stuff has been shifted to Dark-death.net and the fics will be slowly fixed. Hey! I'm not god!.
I just pray that Audypoo won't mind too much. >.< Kinda illegal~
Sticky-ish day, quite happy-ish ^________^ Played a bit of music, ate junk and had a great time doing it. Yokan day! Went for tuition and amused my tuition teacher with Dir en Grey~ YAY! Another Anti-Die. Honestly speaking, I don't like Die at all, he freaks me out in a very bad way. Kyo's fine, because I can sense he's a pacifist, though not an open one. Die = kinda guy who might kill you if angry enough.
June likes Dir en Grey well enough I suppose~ She likes Shinya and Kyo!
Finished some Math work, some really difficult Prelim paper which I have no hope of ever passing well. Dreamt many a lovely dream~ Wonderfully chirpy weather combined with a nostalgic, gentle feel. Atashi likes! <3 <3
Hmnn....I need temporary hosting, darnit. And I better warn those people under me to be careful~ On the other hand, I have lovely news for those waiting for Diffidere, it's almost done. At least I know how it'll start and end. 5 chapters, maximum and it won't be a pretty story.
Expect kinkyness. And bondage.
Dirrrrrrrrrrty~
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:05 p.m.+
Forgive me for being Cliched_____Ash kisses
Listening to: Mushi
Had dinner. Still sulking, which is strange considering this is a nearly perfect day. The sky was a dazzling blue, and I went swimming and dreaming of blue glass, shimmering gold and irridiscent glows. Water is interesting, y'know. Revealing and hiding at once...I bet when Kyo was writing Taiyou no Ao, he thought of a swimming pool.
The chlorine made the sky blue, the sun blue, the colours looked so _flat_ and grey.
Like the blue of the jaded sun.
I can't help feeling something's wrong, and that's making me jumpier than ever. Jumpier than a moongoose running away from foie gras hunters. Woke up in the morning with Garden (Osaka-jo) and Mushi, which made me feel emotionally screwed all over. Like snakes in the belly, and butterflies in the heart.
Therefore, I'm going to write.
Write a uselessly cliched story for the lack of better things to do.
Mushi+ Mushi+ Mushi = A really sappy unhappy story.
----------RANDOM:Dir en Grey----
Pause.
I check my watch. It's quarter to two, you won't be in at this hour. Working, most likely, at the studio, where you slave over every single detail, every minute detail. I can't help but feel slightly wristful. I don't suppose you would like my surprise that much.
My shoes slid easily off my feet, and I step into your home. It's part of you, so I must be respectful of it. Politely, I arrange my shoes neatly next to yours. It's not my first time here, simple wooden parquet floors, plain white walls only adorned with simple paintings, minimal decorations and monochrome furniture. It's simple, yet so homely.
So much like you.
I walk past the mantelpiece, admiring the pictures of you. You as a child, figeting in front of the camera with smiling parents. Their pride and joy. You with us....How many pictures you have! Pictures from Osaka-jou, pictures from Macabre, pictures of everyone.....even me.
I move away from the pictures, and sink into one of your comfortable sofas. I wonder, do you usually sit here too? Sit on this comfortable chair, with your hair damp from a shower, a beer in your hand as you watch soccer? Which team do you cheer for? Do you watch alone? Do you sit here and think about me at all? Just once?
Perhaps.
I switch on the television, watching how the screen fills up with crowded images filled with colour and noise. Unseeingly, I sit and watch...watching like you might watch, after a day at work. Or maybe you don't watch at all. Carelessly, I flip through the channels, a flicker of this, a flicker of that. The clock ticks slowly across, minutes, seconds, hours, days, even a lifetime.
Two o'clock.
I switch the noisy thing off, and make my way into the kitchen, feet padding soundlessly on the wooden floor. The kitchen feels amazingly clean, almost too clean. There's no tell tale mess of cooking, or any rusty pans. Bachelor, definitely. I check into your fridge, rummaging through the contents. Sake, some take out sushi, leftover instant noodles and...chocolate? I can't help but smile, thinking of you and chocolate. Nibbling chocolate in the middle of the night when you're feeling peckish, or maybe chocolate when you're unhappy or sad. Chocolate on your lips...
I would lick it off for you.
Casually, I reach behind the counter, picking up a mug. It's yours I think, or I like to think. A gift from us, a joke-mug, with your name emblazoned on it and the word "God" behind. I remember you laughing when you recieved it, laughing so happily...It seemed such a long time ago. So many birthdays have passed already. So many years.
Do you drink from it?
The way your lips press against the cold ceramic, a morning coffee, an afternoon tea, a nightcap. Warming you from inside out, filled with goodness. Your lips against this smooth surface of burnt sand - porecelein. Do you hold it tightly in your hands when your drink it? Caress it? Run your finger lightly round the rim when you think, when you dream?
I want to be your cup.
I go to fill it with water, but there's none in your kettle. Somehow, it's amusing to think so. Chuckling softly, I rinse it for you and set it to boil. I sit on your counter top, swinging my legs as I wait for it to boil. There's still more than enough time, knowing you, you would stay and work overtime to "do it right."
The breeze blows gently in, rustling your white muslin curtains. It's a beautiful day today. Cold, but beautiful. The sunlight seems to sparkle through your half open windows, and the white curtains dance merrily to the breeze, fluttering and floating and whispering among themselves.
I wonder, do they pity me?
A lone breeze brushes my hair, no answer.
The water boils, and whistles sharply. It breaks the quietness, the solitude, interrupting it. I pour the water out into the jugs, letting it cool. I dream sometimes, of doing it for you. Being here when you come home, cooking for you, making you smile, making you laugh and sharing your sorrows.
To be your sofa where you lean comfortably on.
To be your cup which you drink from.
To be your kettle filled with warm water.
Whatever you touch.
The clock ticked slowly across, second, minute, hours....past.
It's time.
Behind your glasses, I clearly remember. A small, hard plastic bottle. Inconspiciously placed. I wonder what you use it for, if you ever use it. Picking it up, I grab my glass of water and make my way to your bedroom.
Like the rest of the house, it's simply decorated. Dark wooden floors and cream coloured walls. As a touch of indulgence, a carpet of pale pale pink. White with a blush of pink. Pink like a kiss. I leave the items at the nightstand, and run my fingers over your table. It's surprisingly messy, messy in a organized mess manner. Piles of songsheets stacked neatly above on another, papers with designs, Kyo's scribbled lyrics, and colourful post-it notes of different colours, reminding you of different duties, responsibilities.
With so many things, I wonder.
Do you take care of yourself?
I can imagine you, sitting here late into the night, finishing on last note, signing on last scrap of paper, your headaching and your body exhausted. Do you take care of yourself? Maybe you fall asleep here, head cradled in your arms, the lights still shining, reflecting the glints of your hair. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't.
There's a shirt hanging by your cupboard door. A white shirt. I remember your white shirts, the first time I met you, you were wearing one. White, long sleeved, collared and buttoned up. It made you look so much older, so much wiser and so much more matured than the rest of us.
The shirt smells like you.
I collaspe onto the bed. The pillows hold the faint scent of your delicious shampoo. Masculine and comforting. I close my eyes, clutching your shirt close to me. Dreaming...I'm embraced by the ghostly scent of you. Holding me close in your arms, holding me forever. The touch, the kiss.
The clock ticks.
Almost automatically, my fingers travel down my jeans, the zipper stratching loudly against the quiet. Your fingers, smooth and long, caressing over and over me, running over the tip as I stare longingly into your eyes. Your eyes, dark with lust and love as you continue to torture me with slow slow strokes until I plead desperately for more. Eyes never leaving mine, you bend down, and lick.
A long luscious lick.
I then I come, screaming your name.
My essence drips slowly down from my hand. Unconciously, I wipe it on your sheets. I hope you don't mind it. The aftermath exhausts me, and I lie there, trying to recover my breath.
I reach for the bottle.
There are many ways of doing this. I thought of slashing my wrists, writing my love for you in blood on the walls. I thought of drowning naked in your bathtub. I thought of doing it while you slept, and when you woke up, I would be next to you.
I thought of many things.
I reach for the water, and involuntarily, my hand clenches tightly. An inborn instinct for survival perhaps. Some of them are crushed, but I suppose it will work faster that way.
A gulp, a swallow of water.
The clock ticks, a heartbeat, a lifetime.
Sinking back into the soft pillows, I can still smell the faint fragrance of him. So wonderfully secure as his bedsheets wrap comfortingly on my legs, as my breath slows and drops, I can feel the ghostly visage of his arms around me, holding me close as I sleep softly, endlessly, right in his arms.
Embraced by the dream
Ghostly smiles and arms
A last kiss, goodbye
I love you Kaoru.
Then I sleep, embraced by him
-----------------END------------------------
For some reason, this amuses me.
love (ash kisses)
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:11 p.m.+
Sounds like a quiz.........20 questions?
Old quiz I took from my archives. I think it's quite interesting~ ^^ Partily because the questions are so ambigous they can mean anything.
The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it:
Hmn...Cosplaying I suppose. And cosplayers....Seishirou x Subaru fanfiction too.
The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets:
Alex. It's a pity we're not in the same school, but when we meet, however occasionally, it's usually fun. Oh, books-wise, I'll say that my pleasant romp would be my Dr Suess and Enid Blython collection. And of course, GUNDAM WING!
The mysterious dark gothy one with whom you used to sit up talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized she really was fucking crazy:
Dir en Grey (inside the head)~ Yurameki nanda yo~ ^^v I suppose talking to myself would fall under this category? Philosiphical books: Ray Bardbury, super cool crazy f*cker. And that's a compliment XD
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved she doesn't actually live in town:
Yami no Matsuei fanfiction. I started, then the series just stopped. Tis a pity, tis a pity but tis true. My old band, and old friends eg. Kyou, Kakyounin, Sara, Laffy...etc. all fall under this too. Kyou maybe not, but if she actually lived with me, I'll prolly be weirder than I already am.
The steady: LOL, my good ol' friends: Audy, Neko, Sharon..etc. Yesh, I love you people! I've never really stayed very long in a single fanfiction or pairing, but the closest would be Tokyo Babylon. Books-wise, I'll never pass up a chance on a Philp K. Dick or any good Science Fiction writer.
The ex: Does leXis count as an ex? No? Err..Fanfiction, I'm staying far far away from Clamp X (horrible)Books, I've more or less totally stopped reading Anne McCaffery.
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:
Osakana wa Ami ni Naka, and Bronze/Zetsuai. I've always wanted to write them, never got a chance to read them. Ai no Kusabi too. Books, I'll say that I've shown an unusual interest in Aki Shimuzuki but I've never read her.
The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't:
LOL. Rosemary! *snickers* Tis a pity we have no chemistry since she's horny and I'm horny too. Hmnnn...I supposed Vanyel Ashkeveron from the Herald Mage series falls under here. Too bad I never wrote anything for it.
The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool gal except it's never really gone anywhere:
Full Metal Alchemist. Prince of Tennis. Sorry, I'm just un-receptive. Oh, Kagerou.
The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly:
Repeat: Full Metal Alchemist. Prince of Tennis. Er....Can I say Jrock in general too? It burns my wallet.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 01:23 p.m.+
Listening to: Slience.
Hey look people! I just turned down a million dollars! XD XD
That would be $1 000 000! Yes people, 6 zeros!
*contemplates*
Am I a good person then?
I feel sick and filthy. Filthy filthy filthy....Unclean. It's like just by agreeing, however partially, or even entertaining the thought of it just...........I don't know. Stained my soul? Is it worth it?
Power. Money. Control. Respect from society.
A million dollars.
All this I could have if I agreed to it. Dirty money....family blood spilled all over it. I know I can do it. I'm -capable- enough *sarcastically* I'm capable of being ruthlessly realistic and single-minded. I just can't believe....For one second. For one STUPID second, I really thought about it. I would give up my sister, my brother, my mother, Yoshiki, Auddy, Neko and all my self respect for money.
Was I evil? Am I evil?
He said I'll change my mind.
I don't want to! I'm...I'm tsu right? I'm tsu right?
I can't believe my "father" will offer me this kind of thing. It sounds so....devilish. Mephistoism.
Okay. Stop this.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:54 p.m.+
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTCHI X SHINYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Osaka-jo Live is FANTASTIKU! SUPER SUPER FANTASTIKU!
SANKYUUU AUDDY!
First you have Die x Kaoru, like, WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR GUITARS? I think that was during Ash or something~ there's so much fanservice it's amazing!!!!! AHHHH! TOSHIYA X SHINYA! <3 <3 <3
I'll do my best to upload clips if I can.
Share the LOVEEEEEEEEEEE.
Yesterday
Yesterday was horrible, I think Audy is pissed at me. Anyhow, had Chemistry class and despite getting the answer RIGHT, I still had to rewrite it 3 times cos she didn't understand -_____-;;;;; Managed to get lovely colours~ I especially love the acidic pink after 4 drops. It LOOKS LIKE KAO'S HAIR! Went for tuition reluctantly and developed a mild headache, finished the Physics paper and part of Alkenes and hydrocarbons. Went home and splattered myself on the bed.
No kidding, I didn't even bother to take off my socks or shower or change.
I just splat! myself on it.
Since I had chemicals on my shirt, it's prolly like, err....toxic now to sleep on.
Slept for 45mins and woke up to change for the dumbass disgusting f*cktard dinner. As usual, my dad was making a fool of himself and his ego is inflated, my grandmother nickpicked on me until I stopped wondering where my self-respect is, then she tapped my shoulder and it felt UTTERLY offensive.
It's so insulting to be touched by her, like she's trying to be condescending and patronizing all at once. Polluting the air with her bloody prescene.
Drank 2 glasses of champange, and stared at the tablecloth. Lovely tablecloth, it's a snowy white. Ignored the fact that my dad has an enormous ego and was being boastful. Ignored my stoning genius cousins from SJI (gifted) and Nanyang JC. Ignored my grandmother who was slowly but surely destroying me.
And people wonder why I hate them so much.
Simply put, the only thing that they ever taught me about life is that it's usually filled with rich f*cktards such as themselves.
I think my nerves are cracking.
This torture started at 7pm and ended at 11.22pm. That means that these vampires just sucked 4 hours of my existance.
Felt really sick the whole night and I didn't sleep much. I don't like them. Slimy backstabbers. Why the hell do I have them as "family"?
This morning
Woke up extremely grumpy, a grumpiness that was partily due to the lack of sleep and yesterday. Went for AA and finally spent my pent up energy on colouring the "mural" in various cheerfully disgusting shades of BRIGHT PINK, BRIGHT YELLOW and NEON ORANGE. The sky was yellow and the ground was a nice BLOODY RED. In fact, it looked like squashed human flesh grounded and masticated then spat on to the wall. Unoffically, the lump of red at the corner (supposedly a hill) is now known as Redhill aka Bukit Merah.
Hungry~ hungry enough to eat oily Ee mee, despite the fact that my tongue/stomach was protesting against such yuckyness.
Right, happy stuff:
OSAKA-JOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 04:07 p.m.+
Listening to: Akuro no Oka and David Leary
My eye is itchy *rubs eye* Itchy~~
Woke up insanely early (at least to me) and went out with Audy ^______________^ We spent most of the day reading astrology, handwriting anyalsis and other predict/personality stuff. Hell fun ne! I finally understand how the House works and the Planetary system.
If you're interested, try www.astro.com
LOL, but main gist of it is....
I'm compatible with Yoshiki!!!! (which is what matters most)
Well, it's kinda freaky that Kyo and I share the same Moon sign and that Audy and Yoshiki share the same too. It's like ........KARMA. Well,at least I know that the Audyness in Yoshiki means that Yoshiki will like me and the Tsuness in Kyo will mean that Audy will hopefully get Kyo.
I really wanted to watch Eternal Sunshine, but the showtimes were off so we went to Borders and read EVEN more astrology books. LOL, I'm an astrology junkie XD
Okay, I'm astrology obessesed *ducks head shyly*
It's a weird hobby to sit 6 hours in a bookshop digging astrology and all but........
Borders was pretty fun, thankfully the book came with charts, so I didn't need to rack my brains and start counting -________-;;; God, some people have no sense. For heaven's sake please put a bloody chart behind or we will be VERY VERY confused. Felt cold, and Auddy had this super wonderful purple jacket that was the perfect cross between mushy and warm. It was so furry! *burys nose in it* And it felt wonderful! <3 <3 Plus it was the most fantastical shade of gay purple~
Tried the starbucks strawberries 'n' cream, which tasted amazingly like Campino candy, complete with the swirls of pink and creamy white~ Beautiful day, and the sunset looked like it was spilling golden syrup all over, washing everything in this pale, luminous yellow~ Shimmering golden sands of a mirage~ Audy said it looked like someone peed over the floor but I think it's beautiful~
Surprisingly clear day, and the air tasted like summer and peaches and mandarin oranges~
-hears news from Neko-
F*ck!
Read the SPECIAL OFFER at DeG offical site
Okay. I'm fucking fucking fucking pissed.
In more ways than one. I'm fucking pissed at the timing, because it's the same time as prelims. I'm fucking pissed at my mother for a wonderful lack of understanding. Mostly, I just realized that ...............
That's enough for now.
Enough to know that she cares.
However vague that is.
I feel like I finally found something, something I just needed to know......Something to kill those festering hurts and mixed up emotions....If not, I would have prolly killed her. Mentally, that is. But knowing how important that is, it would be literally.
It's not that I haven't kill anyone before. *shrugs*
My head is littered with graveyards.
*reads off the names* clarissa,1992-1994. kathleen 1994-1996. caryn 1997. samantha 1998-2000. -censored- 2001-2003
Of course, there's more.
Isn't there?
Maybe y'know...things might change. Maybe one day I'll kill her with my hands and watch her bleed onto the soil and write another gravestone for another corspe...But for now, it's enough.
Okay, enough for one day.
:)
Right?
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:43 p.m.+
Listening to: Umbrella and The Final- Dir en Grey + Random European rock.
Lovely songs, I think the symphonic metal is kinda heavy and over-heoric though...Sounds like Vision of Escaflowne on crack. Stanluskus wasn't too bad, pity I don't understand Russian.
Went for Chemistry class, studied organic chemistry which is actually pretty fun! Drew lots of tetrachloromethane and other alkenes, alkanes and carboyxlic acids. I think I love Chemistry as much as Literature~ Or maybe even more. Experimented with my own organic garden, and watched it change colours~ By next week it should be ultra-violet purple, that's if I got the colours right. Basically, you just react them until it breaks down into basic compounds, and while doing so, the colour changes.
Oh, and I learnt how to make bombs out of PVC.
Talked to Audy, meeting her tomorrow at 11pm, Orchard MRT. I hope I don't forget >.< Met one of her friends, which is a pretty nice guy. His name is Jeff, apparently from NJC. Seemed pretty nice and amazingly normal. Normal that is, compared to some people I happen to know. I like him ^^v Yay, made another friend.
My mom just passed me a bag of sliver M&M's...whaaat?
Yuck.
Feel sort of strange lately, besides the fact that Dir en Grey is infesting my mind. I don't know why...Maybe it's the weather again. It's currently a week of clear, summer-y blue sky, so clear it looks like glass, or a very big marble. Roof of the World and all....It's strangely windy too. What's strange is the -sunlight- It's golden bright and dazzling, so pure so clear it's almost magical during 4pm -6pm. Electrifying gold.
It feels very free~ Like flying~
Sometimes I think I can fly, and maybe...I don't know. Maybe people used to have wings, but because they slowly forgot about it, they slowly forgot how to fly and that's why we can't feel our wings anymore. And when you're particulary happy, it lifts you up unconciously and you don't even know it until the second you remember, and you fall.
It'll be so wonderful to fly again~
Half remembered dreams perhaps?
Sorry, I talk too much rubbish.
Okay, I'm starting Diffidere soon (yay! I can spell!). Watch out for it on Saturday or something. *sighs* Friday is going to be hell.
love *on wings*
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:51 p.m.+
Listening to: (what else?) Taiyou no Ao and KR Cube.
Since I'm going to write a lemon, these songs are the best! KR Cube is the hornyest song ever anyway and Taiyou no Ao is A Place's theme song so it makes a good fic combo to plug.
Went to school and did titration. It wasn't as bad as expected and I got it right for 2 rounds! Perfect on my first try too~ So proud of myself. Spilled various substances on my shirt but I couldn't really care less, I wiped everything from the conical flask to my spectacales on my poor, abused shirt. LOL, thank goodness it's going for a wash.
Titration ended late, and my Chemistry teacher was PMS-ing (yelling at students eg. Audy and I for doing the experiment RIGHT) so we left at 2.30pm, and hour longer than what was written on the timetable. Waited and waited and waited for the &^@! bus which came 30 mins late and we had to run for it too. *sighs* Geez.....Went to Kino to read astrology books.
I like astrology and it's kinda fun (if not lame). Found that Neko and Audy are compatible and Yoshiki and I are powerhungry nutters and the Dir en Grey is the best karmic conincidence EVER. It's amazing y'know...All their compatibility ranks "Friendship" as the highest with "Work" as a second. Even their bloodtypes are compatible. So if you ever want to form a band, check out the band members astrological/bloodtype/karamic compatibility.
This stuff actually works! (take it with a pinch of salt though)
Had great fun~ LOL....Had onigiri on the way back, acted promiscious on the bus and spent 2? 3? hours reading on karma and trying to solve our planets. North Node still DOES NOT exist. *roll eyes* I belong to a non-existing planet, just GREAT.
Strangely happy day, with clear blue-y skies and bright green leaves. It was so clear I think it looked like a big glass bowl upside down.
Went home, stayed in the bathroom for an hour ++ cos it was so hot and I just wanted to be cold. *fans* Hoooooot~~~
Okay kids, here's the deal. You don't need to be 17 to read this, just act mature and don't flame okay? My email can't handle it. Criticism and comments are welcome, please tag. Warning: contains (duh) lemon.
Chapter 14
I believe that "I love you"s only come much later. And for guys, it's much much -MUCH- later. Love ain't easy, lol, but sex is.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 12:04 a.m.+
Your whole life someone has always been cheering
you on. Tennis is cool, and you are actually
pretty nifty (if not downright quirky) Win with
pride, or lose with honor it doesn't matter
because tennis is life and life is sweet. (Just
don't drink the juice...)
Which Prince of Tennis team do you belong on?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Toshiya.
Which Dir en grey Member Are You?
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Kirito | The Freelance Maniac:
Arent you lucky! As long as you keep him on your
side, carrying out acts of mass murder and
theft should be a piece of cake. However, Kiritos
about as predictable as a blind dog with
rabies. Watch your back.
Who's Your Jrock Partner In Crime?
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Kyo is your slave...and your LUCKY to have him as
your slave, because he's a hard one to catch!
J-Rock Claim Quiz -Who would be YOUR slave???
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Which J-rock attitude are you?
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+tsu waited for you at 07:55 p.m.+
Listening to: Erode, Raison d'tre and Engirys Cimredopyh
Infestion of the Toshiya bunny XD XD
LOL, outlined the basic plot of a 5 chapter twisted fic aptly named "Differdere". Went to Lit class, but Nekochi didn't come. After I called her, found out that she was sick after too much PoT. HAH! Take care ne~ but you shouldn't watch so much PoT.
Went for tuition, finished the bloody Chemistry paper and did basic organic chemistry which consists of homologous series such as Alkenes and other carbon/hydrogen bonds. Quite fun~ My fave part is cracking ^^ Sounds so perverted doesn't it? Went home and started fic-writing almost immediately, working under pressure(low) makes me work really well apparently.
Okay, random time! Hey you like child? *giggle*
love
tsu
--------------RANDOM:Umbrella-----------------
Knife and Fork in Mouth
A pink neon sign hangs outside the diner, glowing faintly. This winter has been cold, and snow in threatening to fall again. I wrap my coat tightly around myself, ignoring the chilled artic winds and step inside.
"Hello dearie, I haven't seen you for a while." The woman behind the counter greets me with a customary smile. She is a round woman, firmly built and firmly grounded, with a white apron round her large girth. Almost shyly, I give her a timorous smile.
She cheerfully bustles about, moving briskly, setting me to my booth. Everything about this place always seems to smell so good. My eyes scan the menu quickly, but I already know what I want. Quickly, she whips out her notepad, "What are you having dearie?"
"Medium rare, hold on the side for the dessert." I say politely.
She raises an eyebrow quirkily. "Diet?"
"Well, I don't have much money...." I had the decency to blush. "Besides, everything is now so expensive.."
She pats my hand sympathically, and lowers her voice in a hushed whisper. "I'll give is for free, how about that dearie?"
I look at her gratefully, thanking as many times as I could. She waved it away in her matronly manner, poking my slender side with a "humph" and walked briskly to the kitchen.
The sound of a cleaver. Screams.
ShowTime
She places the dish carefully on the table, and I can hardly wait. It smells so utterly delicious that I'm going to salivate soon.
"Eat up dearie". And she opened the dish.
Inside was a delicious looking child, hands tied to the feet. The appetizing scent of death lingered in the air, and I breathed deeply into the mouthwatering smell. Wonderful. It had just been killed, fresh, pathetic and innocent. The gruesome death added an excellent flavour to the dish, decorated by a pool of blood which was so very tantalizing. Almost like I was in a trance, I lifted the fork and knife, sliced, fascinated at watching how tender the meat was, oozing juices and blood. Lifting the flesh to my lips, I savoured it with a flick of my tongue. Death. Horror. Fear.
Absolutely delectable.
It was still alive.
The tang of sorrow and pain, seasoned with a good dose of horror and fear. Piquant flavours of emotions that coursed through this body that left a tantalizing aftertaste in my mouth. Childhood, dreams, innocene...how delightful it was! A hint of spicy sweetness, awakening of -sex- from puberty that gave the meat an addictive taste. Succulent. I tasted the sight from its eyeballs, swallowed the bloodcurdling screams from its fleshy lips. I ate in a frenzy, unable to stop, unable to forget the heavenly emotions that laid in this body.
At the corner of my eye, I noticed a handsome looking couple entering in. Ever the welcoming hostess, my matronly woman was making her way to them. I smile, and continue eating. The flesh was juicy and scrumptious in my mouth, and there was always room for dessert later. They sat down together, laughing. What a loving couple they were.
The sound of a cleaver. Screams.
"Would you like some dessert dearie?"
"Of course."
"Eat up the marrow too, it's good for you."
red CRUNCH ah CRUNCH dark CRUNCH
I paid for my bill, feeling full and warm to the brim. The exquisite seasonings and flavours lingered in my mouth, causing me to lick my lips unconciously.
"It tastes like chicken."
She chuckled. " It always does. It always does..."
Smiling, I walked out of the door, bells clanging at my wake. She stood there, waving at me as I walked out of her diner, into the cold night air.
Hey Miss Girl is Very Fond of The Child
-------------------------------------
+tsu waited for you at 10:27 p.m.+
Deadlines, deadlines....!DEAD!lines
Listening to: Umbrella.
Okay! Phew! I finished A Place of your Own. The only part missing is the lemon part. ^_________________^ I can't believe I finished it!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Interude I : Shinya
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Interlude II: Kyo
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilouge
Interlude III: Kaoru
Footnotes
??Bonus Lemon 14??
I'm only uploading the last part on request Please tag for the link.
Watched 2 Bollywood films. One is a romance comedy called Style which uses Bethoveen's Fur Alice as a motif (like Elephant) and the other one is called Legend of Bhurgat Singh, a revoluntionary tale of overcoming the colonization of India aka Kicking The Brits. Pretty fun to watch, and I had a great time listening to the music.
For all the ickyness of writing a multipart, I'm problaby going to write another. It's called Differdere featuring the pairing of the moment: Toshiya x Shinya! For all my sweetness and sappyness, this isn't going to be a nice fic. In fact, it isn't nice at all. The tentative theme is to be base; and explore proper BSDM and powerplay. I don't think fiction has enough of the proper type anyhow. It's not merely the rutting y'know, it's humilation.
Right. Thou'th speakth too much.
Finished my Chemistry homework, which is pretty fun and I didn't really mind doing it. Quite dreary but nessesacary. Tomorrow there's Literature class, but somehow or other, my interest in the subject has waned.
I don't like Literature. *watches everyone's jaws drop*
Truly y'know....Literature is too structured and how should I say? Precise. It's so limited. Compared to music or images, Literature fails terribly short. If you didn't have an imagination, you won't get most of it. Music and images on the other hand, automatically unlock and evoke feelings from the participant amd it's freer in expression unlike the idiotic iambic pentamenters and what nots.
It's still one of my favourite subjects in school.
But that's mainly because I don't have much of a choice.
I wish we did Literature on music instead.
Can you imagine? My essay would read, "The usage of the bass in Egnirys Cimredopyh evoke a surreal feel, futher emphaized by the repititive beats of the bass, the up down up down motion which perfectly captures the feel of a drug induced high. This atmosphere can also be seen in the second quarter of the song, where 2 bass drums instead of 1 is used."
My life would be perfect.
Academically speaking that is.
Unfortunately, most people would think it is unfair to some, especially if you're not musically inclined. I beg to differ. Music, is like Math. All you need is practice, practice and MORE practice!
*turns on to Dir en Grey* It'll be so fantastic to write a thesis on this.
^______________________________^
Found something interesting about Mircosoft Word. It can spell things like "Kryponite" but it can't do simple grammer. The spell check is WAY OUT screwed. For instance, Miyu becomes Mayo and Urusai = Russia. What the hell??? I couldn't stop giggling when Yoshiki = yucky. LOL.
63 pages of spellcheck. XD
One last time I swear: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINSIHED IT!
love *hyper-genkiness*
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:24 p.m.+
Listening to: Umbrella
*grouses* Just when I want a GOOD Toshiya x Shinya fanfic, the site comes down. Just FRIKKIN great.
On the other hand, I found http://www.livejournal.com/community/tsforever/. It's a Toshiya loves Shinya livejournal! XD XD
Anyhow, my mom is back from Sweden, and I managed to saty up till 5am waiting for her. (Her plane touched down at 7am) Some things never seem to change~ ^^;;; At least for me. Lots of chocolate and stuff in the fridge, too bad no lingenberries. Ah well. It's a bit strange to suddenly have my mother back cos I was getting used to doing stuff on my own independantly and all. Strange to have someone suddenly nagging at you~
Finally decided that my strange obessions for Kyo x Shinya, Toshiya x Shinya and Kaoru x Shinya was because I REALLY LIKED Shinya and REALLY HATED Die. LOL. Funny thing is that Die's birthday is just 10 days from Yoshiki's. Picky me huh? I don't know why but Die creeps me out. And I don't like him -at all-.
Back to more sensible stuff.
I have half a mind to type out a really sh*tty fic just for the hell of it. Y'know...Those god-awful PWP-ish stuff because I'm that bored.
Okay, I think I better get a livejorunal. Like a real one, so that I can join the T x S community. LOL, I'm frikkin desperate right?
*twirls aimlessly* Y'know, being bored has it's benefits. You slack around, watch too much TV, make (useless) layouts and shack up with the nearest individual who wants to go out. You sit all day and night contemplating on shadows and sky, you learn lots of interesting things about yourself I like being an uke and then you listen to bad music backstreet boys while feeling nostalgic about their hair.
Right.
That was really productive, tsu.
Okay, fic tomorrow. Yakusoku.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:16 p.m.+
Listening to: Egnirys Cimredoyph - DeG
Who cares what Kyo is singing?
This is a Get-High-n-Sweaty song!
X___________X
Spent the day reading Harry Potter fanfiction. Skip that, actually LOTS and LOTS of Snape/Lupin and Lucius/Lupin fiction. Now I'm running about trying not to laugh my arse off and the other half trying not swear. I think I'm turning vulgar. LOL. Interesting~
This song is turning my head into drivel.
I have no idea about you guys, but I know how it feels like. And the rhythem of the song screams HIGH into my bloodstream.
That's it! Random time!
------Random: Eginrys Cimredopyh +)_____injection---
Sweet taste of filth in your mouth, the syringe glitters maniacally in the bright flourscent light. Saliva dribbles from your wanton lips, the sticky liquid of LSD clear and cool and trapped in the circluar frame. Guilty? None. Desire fills your eyes, addiction smiling evilly from your lips.
Yesss......
The school toilet stinks of muck and grime and dirt and graffiti but you don't care. You sit longingly on the toilet bowl, watching the liquid fill. Then quickly, abruptly, hands fly down to your pants, hurriedly unzipping, rushing, pulling, pushing against the stratchy cotton material of the brown school pants.
Let me come.........
You grab your cock hurriedly, fisting it into heated pleasure. Sweat beading against your skin, salty and slick, running down against the sides of your white thighs as you moan. Pleasure? Pain? Trembling, you hold the syringe and slowly, shakily, press the tip of the needle against the purple blue vein of your erected cock.
The liquid rushes in. And I come
Wwwhh---hhi-ite--
You want this . . . . . No! Please stop!
You need this . . . . . No! I hate you! Please!
You love this . . . . . This is evil! Grave sins..
You know this . . . . . Please...save me...God
You love me . . . . . //death of self//
Die
In a frenzy, you drive yourself slowly over the edge, screaming your painful release into the sweaty palm of your hand, white stickiness coating the fingers ; a sign of your lost sex. What guilt? Guilt and sinful loss has died in the right side, trapped forever as I take over.
There's no hope for you now. Only me left.
Tucking the syringe back in my pocket, I hum a tune cheerfully.
take -me- taste -me- break "you"
--------------END---------------
If you have any questions, just tag. I know it's confusing to some, but it makes -perfect- sense to me.
Yep, it makes sense! XD
Okay, my day was as boring as hell, and the only thing interesting was reading about WWII about the Polish survivors, in particlar this person named Binjamain Wiloski. It's a good book, but rather graphic. The other thing was a creepy book called American Dreams: The Reflecting Skin and Passion of Darkly Noon. It's not really a storybook per se, it's a screenplay.
To quote: "It's about pedphilic homosexual murderers who drive cars."
And it's hilariously funny, esp about the exploading frog.
Right.
love (and sherbet sky)
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:27 p.m.+
Listening to: The Scientist - Coldplay
Yoz~ New layout minna-san! Featuring Yuana and Daisuke from Kagerou~ ^^v Actually their music gives me a terrible headache but I kinda like them anyway. Maybe I'll grow to like them one day. The colour scheme is kinda screwed and the file size is waaay too large, I like it anyhow XD Got a problem?
Past few days have been boring and dull, well, not really but....Watched an -amazing- amount of TV (amazing for me anyway) and slept 6 hours! I'm beginning to feel the lure of Harry Potter (yes!yes! Lucius x Remus!) and my fingers are *itchy* to start writing again. First of course, I'll have to finish A Place of Your Own *sighs deeply* I wonder if anyone can still remember its misbegotten plot? I think even I've lost track of what to do. Oh okay, yea, I'm supposed to write a Kaoru chapter. Right. And a lemon. Right. See how pathetic I am?
CCA's starting pretty well. The current artist with an unpronouncable name is finally not gay! and not! annoying which is a FIRST. In fact, he's kinda likable enough~ We're doing aluminium sculptures/installation. It's pretty fun but the juniors have no guts. They don't even want to hold a pair of shears and cut aluminium sheets! I mean, hey! It's fun! And it's sharp! Oooo~ Jagged edges! Know what I mean? *sighs* I swear our CCA is filled with a bunch of bystanders. Literally.
Found something interesting about cooking. It's not the quantity, it's the quality. Therefore, I declare that the only kind of cheese that should be allowed in sandwhiches is Mozerella cheese. Any kind. Scarmoza or smoked too. It's FANTASTIC *drools* It's all gooey and pizza-ish and you can roll it into tiny balls like blue tack and stretch it out like chewing gum. Conclusion : It rocks my (cheesy) universe.
Oh yeah, I'll got perfect teeth now. *flashes a smile*
After 6! months of badgering and haggling my mom finally dragged me back to the dentist to remove the braces. Seriously folks, I skipped 3/4 of my appointments and prolly annoyed the hell out of the guy. Then I told him not to contact me till June after mid-year examination. I might actually be the first person to *delay* the removal of them.
Tsu's thinking: I lived with them for 2 years, 6 months won't hurt right?
Anyhow, I feel weird without them and my teeth look lonely out of a sudden. It's like, "I have TEETH!" Audy says I behave like I just recieved denches. Not true, it's just that it's just weird to realize that your teeth are actually well, teeth. And somehow, I kinda miss them.
*notices all the jaws dropping* Okay! Okay! I give up!
What's funny is that people think I'm prettier now.
So it means I weren't pretty before?
LOL, funny people.
Weather has been trying to kill me. First it was hot. Swelteringly, terrifyingly, baking hot. Sorching hot. So hot that I bet I was turning into a Delifrance Gratin complete with potato bits. I mean, HOT. Not only was it hot, it was humid. Sticky, sweat inducing, almost sauna-like heat. OMG, stepping out of air conditioning was almost like submerging into a warm bath.
And almost everyone is sick.
Surprisingly, today it rained. Blessedly wonderful sleeping weather but I didn't really sleep. Just dreamed and dozed a little before my brother came barging into the room "DON'T SLEEP!" I really -really- wanted to throw a pillow at him. That was really rich coming from him considering he slept from 11am to 6pm and I didn't sleep at all. After that, I couldn't sleep so here I am - at the computer.
Oh yeah, don't you think that kakusei jelly sounds alot like lube?
Nevermind!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 05:49 p.m.+
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