+shidare+____Trashyness_____KissMeKillMeLoveMe

O HAPPY DAYS!!!

Listening to: Atatsuki no Kurama

Today was funny because it seemed that the revenge of Silly Season had hit our class. Auddy and I were giggling like 3 year olds and making stupid jokes. I skipped about from class to class, (Card Captor style) and bumped into Mr Eric Tan, Mrs Mag Low and some other teachers respectivly.

TODAY WAS JUST GAY.

During PE we played soccer and we must've gotten a heatstroke cos we were running about having fun and we did stuff like tribal dances. (Hand on head, slam: hahaha! Hand on chest, slam: hahaha! Hand on thigh, slam: hahaha! Elbows up, and stomp: HA!)

We were laughing so hard it didn't matter who was winning or losing cos it was just too funny. Even A Math seemed easy and I could do a couple of questions. [d2y/dy(sq)] XD XD Happiruuuuuu~ Slept during Chinese class but woke up refreshed. Mr Chan is PMSing. I know that cos a)he doesn't smile at me anymore b)he's got something up his @ss c)he's sulking/pouting/whining. Class would've been funny if he wasn't throwing his temper at us.

Oh well, it was a perfect-ish day. *sarts singing the Lou Reed song*

Had a meeting after school and it was pretty funny. We're doing the Founders' Day mass and all sorts of kooky emotions came popping up. Nostalgia....for one. After all, we're celebrating it with the Primary school. It'll be nice to have my name down in history too ^^v Chose most of the songs and settled the auditions for choir. I want to sing and I'm partially judging too. Judith = Simon Cowell. Tsu = Paula Abul. LOL.....It'll be hilarious!

No tuition today, which prolly explains my happy mood.

Oh yes, the fic.

WARNING: this story contains EXPLICIT contents. It's your choice. And no flaming please.

-----------------
Beauty & Stupid
For Phiryn
Kyo x Toshiya x Shinya
----------------------

"Sssshhh! Keep quiet! Don't wake him up"

"Do you think he'll be mad when he wakes up?"

A look passed between them. A giggle. The sleeping man, laid peacefully, turning over.

"Poor Shinya.............."

"More like lucky Shinya........"

"You weren't that nice to me on -my- birthday"

"Jealous?"

"Hn. Let's hurry before he wakes up"

They took a step back, admiring their handiwork. Shinya laid there, sleeping like an innocent babe he wasn't going to be. Copper hair spilling over the pristine white sheets and delicate skin. Kyo had done an excellent job. Black ribbons, silk, bound his wrists above his head, loose enough for blood to circulate, tight enough for the bonds to hold. Black on soft white skin. Black silk on silkier hair. Black ribbons like a garnish to a dish. Toshiya's eyes travelled in appreciation at his bandmate's slender nude form. Perfect. Maybe he should have brought a camera. 'How are we going to wake him up?"

'Leave it to me".

Gracefully, Toshiya reached for an ice cube from the conviently placed bucket (courtesy of Kyo) and trailed it down Shinya's member. A wicked gleam lit upon as face as he chirped. "Morning Shinya-chan!"

"ARRRAAGHHHHHH!!!"

"It's fucking cold damnit!"

Kyo smirked, looking like the devil he was, "Tsk tsk, such language from Shinya. As your senpais, we really ought to punish you."

"What the-"

Shinya finally noticed his position. Kyo. In a leather suit. Toshiya. In a leather suit. He licked his dry lips, trying to overcome the feeling of nervousness in his stomach. Leather straps on the walls and all sorts of -apparatus- his mind couldn't even fathom. And silk? His gaze travelled upwards, nearly gasping in shock. Black silk bonds. He tugged at them experimentally. Bad. Make that very very bad.

"Haha guys. Now let me out", he said as calmly as possible, trying not to betray his nervousness.

"Ooooo...demanding isn't he?"

"Nahh...he's just nervous." Kyo grinned happily, "Like they all are."

"You see dear Shinya, your birthday is coming soon. And as your senpais, we feel that you must go through the rite of manhood." Toshiya's eyes turned misty in rememberance. 'Such a great sacrifice on our part to teach you the joys of carnal desire when I could be at home watching baseball. You should be happy Shinya, very happy indeed."

Kyo nodded gravely in response.

Holyshitholyshitholyshit

Kyo's eyes held a familar manical gleam.

"Start playing and stop talking."

Toshiya giggled, climbing on to his (naked) lap. "Pretty pretty Shinya~~", he cooed, grinding their hips together. Shinya moaned. Holyshitthey'reactuallygonnadoit-Ah! Toshiya bent slowly down, first nipping lightly on his jaw then kissing him with enough force to knock him. He slid his tongue into Shinya's warm wet mouth, enjoying the taste. Their tongue duelled as Toshiya's hands slid down his sides, lightly dancing over his skin then rubbing a hardening nipple roughly about his fingers.

FUCK

Shinya gave gasp of surprise.

Then somone slapped him.

"No talking. Understand?" Kyo's gaze was meancing.

He nodded sliently, trying to will the tears of pain away. He felt Toshiya move away from his and a tongue licking...? His tears? Kyo? "Ssssh baby....". He felt Kyo kissing him, kissing him and licking him and touching him. He moaned aloud, trying to stop the pleasure that was pooling between his legs.

He felt Kyo's tongue glid across his skin, tasting and eating him alive. Teasingly round his nipple, wicked trails of saliva prolonging his agony.

"Please......". Am I really begging?

Kyo raised his eyes, glowing eerily with his yellow contacts. Holding his gaze, he licked his lips this way and that, tasting. Without a pause, he lapped lightly on the nipple, before sucking it it.

"Oh God..Oh God........."

Kyo bite him lightly. 'No God", he rasped. 'Just Kyo'.

Toshiya had not been idle. He stripped to his naked glory and climbed back into the bed, eyes looking hungrily at the little display Kyo put up. Humming a tune to himself, he crawled between Shinya's spread legs, aware of Kyo hovering above. Toshiya allowed a flicker of glee before taking Shinya in the mouth.

"FUCK!" Shinya screamed as his body convulsed with pleasure.

He gripped the sheets until his knuckles turned white, shuddering at the sensation. It felt like all the blood in his brain had flooded into his groin, hotter than a livewire. Kyo grinned broadly, grabbing Shinya's head for a rough kiss.

"C'mon Shin~chan....Take it like a good boy", Kyo smirked, pinching the younger man's nipples.

"Unnnn..." Shinya's eyes rolled, he legs spread wider as he clutched the bedsheets, he back arched beautifully off the mattress as he came.

"Oh GOD!" He yelled as the stars began to dance in his eyes.

Toshiya didn't answer, enjoying the shudders that passed through Shinya's body. He swallowed, and gave one last lick for good measure. Then, he bent over to Shinya's prone form, kissing Kyo.

"That's how he tastes like...."

"Hn. He's been doing more than holding back on us..."

"You want him? Or can I have him?"

"Can'r I have both?"

"Greedy warumono. Okay. You can have him. Scoot over."

Shinya was still dazed from his climax, not noticing Kyo who was sitting between his legs, Kyo who was humming to himself as he methodically lubebricant his fingers, Kyo whose innocent look would send angels flying straight to hell. He felt fingers running over his length, then lower, probing.

"Nooo....Kyooo......" he whined, tired.

"Aw....Shinya, don't be a spoilsport. Besides, Totchi is watching. You wana give a good performance right?"

He shook his head, sweaty strands of hair clinging onto his face. Kyo's face was an intense look of concentration as he slid his first finger in, the other hand grabbing Shinya's slim, bony hips to stop him from moving. Shinya mewed is pain, trying to wiggle away from Kyo. He was unaccustomed to the sensation and it -hurt-.

"Kyoooooooooooooo...." Tears were coming to his eyes.

Toshiya saved the day (or night if you prefer), and grabbed Shinya roughly and began to pump. He could feel Shinya responding and stiffening beneath his praticed touch. So cute and gave the moaning boy soft kisses along his jaw. With his free hand, he picked an ice cube and slid it senseously down the boy's skin. "Toshi-yaaa..." It was so wonderful to see his pretty bishounen bandmate moaning and writhing.

Meanwhile, Kyo had not been idle. One finger, two. He frowned in concentration, searching for the hidden spot. Where was it........

Then suddenly, Shinya screamed. "KYO!"

Satisfied, he positioned himself before Shinya's opening, and thrust deeply into the boy. Shinya's head lolled onto his shoulder, pleasure spiralling higher and higher, deeper and deeper, then finally, it crested. Stars were dancing below his eyelids and his muscles clenched. He moaned one last time before collasping into the now stained sheets.

Gentle fingers ran through his hair, tousling the strands.

"He's tired now, isn't he?

"Aww....I wanted to play with him somemore.

"I'll play with you then.

A pair of slim hands grabbed the vocalist's slim waist, igoring his portests as he settled him onto his lap. Hands roved roughly over the skin, biting, pinching. Kyo groaned, his deviled eyes half closed in pleasure.

"Hurry up damnit!"

'As you wish."

Toshiya quickly positioned himself and thrust roughly, other hand pumping Kyo. Fatser. Deeper He could barely hear Kyo over the beat of his desire, surging under his skin. Then just as suddenly, it was over. He fell heavily, then rolled over, satisfied.

"Damn that was great."
"How about celebrating Happy Un-Birthdays too?"

"Think Shin-chan will agree?"

"Who cares? We'll just tie him up again. I think he -likes- to be tied up."

"Got a point there.'

And soon, they were fast asleep.

----------------------------------------
A/N: No, I did not want to write it, nor will I ever want to again. Yes, I was buggered into writing it. Yes, I'm about to jump of a building in shame.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:59 p.m.+

LOVE TRANSCENDS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love is so wonderful and so beautiful, it can feel like the gentlest of rivers, deep and slow. It can feel like an embrace so strong and soothing you never want to let you. It can make the strongest man weak, the the weakest man a hero. Love transcends all.... It can be the love between a mother and a child, adoring and unconditional, from the moment she knew that you were in her womb. It can be the love between friends, sharing and caring, trusting and building and supporting one another to help each grow.

But most of all, it can be the love between soulmates.

It makes you want to fly higher than the sky, soaring upon angel wings. It makes you want to sing the melody that you always knew but never heard. It makes you want to dance and shiver with excitement and heavenlyness and drown in the absolute joy at looking at your -soulmate-. The one who understands and loves you and cherishs you until the end of time. The one who holds your hand, and applaudes. The one who looks at you in the eyes and tells you you're the most beautiful person in the world and you will never want to run away from.

Love has the power to overcome any obstacles, even death. Memories stand fast against the tides of time and seasons may change from winter to spring, but love is forever. Forever. Eternal. Etheral yet it binds tighter than a mythril chan, tighter than an iron vice, tighter than any human bond because LOVE TRANSCENDS ALL. Love so strong it can overcome anything and anyone, no matter what because that is what love is.

It may be Manon Lescuet, it may be Magurite and Armand, it may be Sistine and Christian but those are only examples of love and we must all make our own love story and find love. Love could come like a prince in a white horse, riding across the hills of despair, lifting us to heavenly love. Love could be gentle and slient, tapping on your shoulder when you least expect it. It could be right next to you. Love could be an unwavering strength that makes you carry on and on no matter what because Love will win, love will succeed and love will live on forever.

It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor because love is equal and love is kind. It will live on for eternity because love is forever. Love destroys all barriers of race and class, to bind people into it's magical tangled web which no one wants to be free of.

Love transcends all.

The greatest gift of all is to be loved and be loved in return

love,
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:52 p.m.+

Valentines' Day and such

Listening to: Yuuzuai - Tokyo Babylon, Brise- Malice Mizer

My winamp player has broken down....*dies* I'm using Windows Media now. WHYYYYYY!!!!??? *screams murder* Stupid assertion files. At leas I still have WMP or I'll die.

Literally.

Bought more roses and now the house smells wonderful. Roses smell so sweet. I bought mainly white ones because they're my favourite and they look so pretty when the tips of the petals curl and open, spilling more perfume. They aren't really white, but more like white/green, because it isn't the season for white roses. The florist said I should check back in Oct.

She was kind enough to give me a discount too!

Recieved lots of candy from friends ^-^ Thank you all!~ Gave away my kisses too. Well, they aren't really kisses, but Heshey's Chocolate ones which taste pretty darn good in my humble opinion. Sakky gave me a stuffed heart and it was adorable! Must find something to pin it onto my bag. *digs for safety pins*

Had a meeting and I can safely declare now that I detest Ms Audrey Chye simply because she talks and talks but does nothing. Her lips move, her hand does not. Then she throws her weight around when she never actually comes for any meeting. Thus, it pisses me off.

Badly.

So I grin and bear it and telepathically yell for Mr Tan to hurry up and come back!! (Gawd this is the first time I actually miss him). Bought the roses on the way home even though I was dead tired. The roses were really beautiful.....I don't know why, but I love them. I know they're cliche and romantic but I can't help but love them. I almost like them as much as camellias.

Woke up really late today to make up for all the sleep I lost during the week. I just realized I hardly sleep during the week and rely on Saturdays to keep me going. Read a book. It's a story about power and how it corrupts. Quite interesting considering it's about medicine and how doctors become rich from plagues they create and the whole cacadeus idea. Yesshhhhheee though...The kid is just damns strange.

Made some layouts and had a pounding headache. POUNDING. It feels like a sledgehammer whammying my poor cranium every second. And oh, I've just learnt that when I become pissed I start swearing. Usually I don't swear. Not at all. Now, I've just recognized new heights of frustration and therfore has recently starting swearing. And my head hurtsssssss....*whines*

Mass was boring.

I didn't have the heart to draw or colour anything so I left my sketch as well....A sketch. I'm tired ne....and I don't have an everlasting well of yurameki.

sleepy now....oyasumi~~~~

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:05 a.m.+

Yessierrrrrrrr

THIS DOES NOT WORK STOP ASKING ME TO WRITE THREESOMES I CAN'T EVEN DECIDE IF IT'S CALLED A PENIS, A SEX, A LENGTH, A MEMBER OR WHAT OTHER NAMES FANFIC AUTHORS COME UP WITH!

You know....writing my first lemon is an interesting experience. Firstly, you wonder what to call it. Next, you wonder if calling each other "baby" is actually sane. Then you wonder if they'll get AIDS or HIV. Finally, you start wondering where your sanity went. (down with Drain Away)

So you listen to stuff like Beauty and Stupid in hope that your agony ends soon but it doesn't end until someones screws. DAMN. You become so desperate that you start to swear never to touch yaoi again. ARRGHH. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE LEMONS! Well, I do. BUT NOT THREESOMES!! Damnit where does the last guy go??? It's just. WEIRD.

However I wrote 3/4 of it already.

to suffer in silence

love

tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:42 p.m.+

Arrahhhhgggghhh

I. GOT. SUCKERED. INTO. WRITING. THREESOMES.

someone kill me now

+tsu waited for you at 09:29 p.m.+

Life, what is it but a dream?

Listening to: Drain Away (neotrans)- DeG

I've been doing alot of traditionalist art lately. Strippling, potraiture...et cetra. My anime roots are going down the drain methinks. I still can draw a pretty bishounen or two though, next up: Try cel CG. First I'll have to figure out the best way to clean up a drawing that I shaded the parts to colour (for ref) and still make it look good. Perphas I should use a pen. Nah. I don't like pens.

Pencils are so much more delicate and beautiful.

So naaaaaaaaa....*sighs* Been studying alot lately, mostly Math since I do that badly. Chemistry bores me. Not because I don't like it or fail it, rather, I excell in it and is BORED TO DEATH. Yes people! Mole concept does not require formulas but common sense! *yawns* I can't help it. It's not fun to do anything in 8 steps when I can do it in 2.

Bought roses for myself for Valentines' Day, I love white roses. Unfortunately, they don't really sell much of it. Sad right? At least I think so. They smell lovely, like little perfumed cups spilling their scent to the room. ^^ Planning to give kisses to everyone tomorrow. *smooches* Teenage hormones I think. Either that, or Sharon's hornyness is contagious. (Hornyness looks better with a Y than an I.)

Quite pissed with Ms Chye, but I'm a good kind individual who will respect her brillancy so I will shut up and let the hell hounds eat her first. Fresh meat, methinks.

Tired lately....Haven't been sleeping well. Too many things just dance blindly in the alleyways of my mind, like a city that never sleeps with neon lights and busy streets. I need sleep. Badly. Lots of sleep sounds really good right now and I'm planning to have a nice time on my birthday. Yay. See? I'm too tired to be enthusiatic.

Okay, Lit test to study, I must hurry or Mag Low will kill me.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:08 p.m.+

Hippydandydaisies

Listening to: Oakenfold - Zoo York

I'm so happy~~!! I'm going to the IDN Conference and yay!!! IDN is the International Design Network and there's a talk by Adobe and lots and lots of designers from overseas coming to SG to showcase their works. *whistles* AMAZING!

I'll have to skip school on Friday and Saturday though.

Sulked through most part of the day, and I'm really getting into this hug-hug syndrome. Person I know + Tsu = HUG HUG! LOL....Quite amusing and I like being glomped anyhow...Literature was fun and Mrs Low actually likes me! *gasp* She was smiling and all. Got back my essay and she says it's good though my spelling is abomindable. *giggles*

Didn't upload anything to dA cos I'm kinda lazy to draw at the moment. Well, I do have a drawing but I don't think it's good enough so I'll keep it with me for a while first.

(sung in tune of Raindrops are Falling on my head)

Randomness falling on my head
It's just to easy to step aside and say
"What's that got to do?"
It's just
senseless desu ne
senseless desu ne

Dunno what's gotten into me...maybe I need time to fallow.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:17 p.m.+

Myaku

Listening to: DeG- Cage/Myaku

Went for PE, and in midst of many blood sucking mosquitos I came up with and idea. Yes people! Be afraid! Thus I come home dead tired, CG the chara and now I'm writing her. How wonderful is that? And I'm scaring myself shitless too.

------------RANDOM--------------------------------

Pulse...can you hear it?

Hi my name is Mary Jane. I'm 7 years old today and I love my dolly who is really pretty and her name is Anatasia like the princess. I really like her cos she has pretty golden hair and a pink lacy dress. She also knows about fairies and always tells me stories when I sleep

The lamp swung creakily above the cracked ceiling, green light casting the room an eerie luminous glow. She sits there, pink baby hands clutching her pencil tightly as she writes her life story on a single scrap of paper. On one hand she holds her doll, a pretty waxy plastic thing with dancing ringlets and blank eyes. Once in a while she will lift the doll up and giggle and whisper girlish secrets to her.

/knock/

She gets up, peering out of the eyehole. It's daddy again. Dull brown slippers and a ratty bathrobe, the other hand grasping a teddy bear. From the peephole, he looks distorted. Too tall, eye glasses staring at you almost too sweetly, like fish eyeballs popping out of their sockets.

"Can daddy come in to pass teddy to you?"

Anatasia, what do you think? Oh it is? But I like him. Alright.

She giggles softly.

"Okay daddy but be good or Anatasia won't like you."

He walks in, holding the teddy. He seems comfortable, then, he glances at the doll. For a split second, the blank empty eyes seem alive, reflecting on his daugther's own. Cunning.

/I know what you're thinking but you don't know./

"Daddy wants to show you something..."

A girlish giggle.

End.

Anatasia told me to take Daddy's hair cutter and stick it into his tummy-yummy cos he was gonna be bad. Naughty Daddy! He screamed like a Powerpuff girl or a pig. Is daddy a pig? But pigs don't have strawberry jam coming out of their tummy. So I ran into the magic forest to wait for fairies to come and save me like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty but no fairies came and I was so scared but Anatastia said to wait for Mr Policeman who always buys me candy when I go out with Anya.

She sits in the clumo of bushes and waits. She listens.

Mr Policeman came and I showed him my sparky thing but then he screamed like Daddy did and I was so scared so I stuck it into his tummy and lots of strawberry goo came out and I thought it was jam so I ate it all up and Anya said it was good for me cos it was red and my favourite colour. My dress was blue and now it's pinky and I onced watched Peter Pan and I had the same dress as her and I was so happy cos she looked like a princess. But now I don't feel like Wendy and Anatastia is scary now and I want to go home.

Mr Policeman won't wake up to take me home.

Can you take me home?

Pulse on the blood on the lips.

-----------END------------------------------

Tired now, okay. Here's the link for a picture of Mary Jane.

Myaku

It's the most recent one.

Love,
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:32 p.m.+

Go everywhere.

Listening to: Love Replica - X Japan, Hide Choco mo goc

Dum de dum dum de dum....No idea why I'm listening to Love Replica. Temprement perhaps. Went to the art gallery...It wasn't great, it wasn't fantastic, it made my drawing look more professional than whatever they were drawing. To say it looks like a mess would be an understatment. To say it looks great would be lying.

Okay, I just cannot stand contempery art.

And yet I draw abstract....I think mine makes more sense though, or I just don't know.

Came home and finally ate something. My mom is worried cos I'm not hungry. I skip breakfast, lunch AND dinner for 3 days and I'm still not hungry. Don't feel like eating...Not that I'm dieting or anything (look at the amount of candy I eat) it's just that I'm NOT HUNGRY. *sighs* I'm not gonna die okay?

Honestly I don't know what to do if I meet Yoshiki.

I mean I ran through all the possibilties I could think of but somehow.....I know it's going to be different. Oh dear. Oh Kafe. Oh God. Actually I don't think anyone knows how frightened I am. I really don't know. I don't. Okay, I'm kinda chicken too. I have his address and what nots but I'm still chicken.

I'm rubbishing and not making sense.

Today is a funny day. I feel like silky smooth satin and chardonnay and spidersilk and octane steel sliver and sparky black. It feels like glowing neon lights and tapping shoes, it feels like sunsets and cold days and frosty wind and warm hugs. It feels liek stormy skies and orange sunshine.It feels white and yellow and glaringly bright like mirage on streets

I have an essay to write tomorrow and I'm planning to get some stuff for everyone on Valentines' day. Chocolates and flowers, I'm rather traditionalist when it comes to romance.

It's strange, or maybe not. But I don't really hate leXis...I've come to the strange conclusion that I knew I didn't love her and went out because I was alternately bored and lonely. I mean, I knew it. I even warned her. I didn't try to stop her and y'know....I think even part of me was happy that we broke up. For one thing, I don't think she'll ever understand me or give me what I need, not what I want. What I want isn't nessescarily what I need.

So all's fair in love and war.

Thinking about that reminds me how some people marry not for love, and they know it but they do it anyway because they think it might work. I actually don't know what to think. My life hasn't been perfect, but I've managed to survive thus far.......do I really need Yoshiki? *wonders* Maybe. Then I took a look at today's papers and guess what? Astrology section:You will find a Scorpio soulmate in your life, date only musicians

Too close for comfort ne?

My birthday is coming up, but I don't feel sixteen. I don't even feel like a senior....I don't think I've grown much, physically, emotionally or mentally. How do you count how mature you are? Is there a yardstick? People keep on telling me to "grow up and act your age" but sometimes, I don't WANT to grow up. And how exacatly would you consider one so?

Actually, my birthday wish is a nice lunch (which I will buy back home), a nice book and a comfy sofa/bed with the air con switched on. Oh, and shopping for miniskirts afterwards. A pink one. I need to dress more maturly if I want to date Yoshiki but at the moment, all I want is that pink skirt with a white ribbon at Level One. Yes Auddy, the one I drooled over with you around.

It's a strange day, but I'm a strange person so I suppose it's a typical day.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:52 p.m.+

Firstly, Basically, Whatever-ly

Listening to: Abandoned Pools - Ruin Your Life

I'm looking for DeG's Taiyou no Ao mp3. *pout* Tora got me hooked! Sounds like a mix of Yurameki and Jessica and the bass is lovely. It changes in the second quarter ^^

Next.

WE WON THE DEBATE COMPETITION

About five or six of us went down to ACS(B) to watch and it was -highly amusing-. For one thing, I had a banner that read :Judith is my Idol and Kathleen had one too. What was funny was that the Opposition was TERRIBLE. They had articulation problems and stammered. They were -sloppy- and their blazers hung loose, collar open..etc. It looks bad on the floor. Lastly, INCHORENCE. No logic. Where's the flow? The substantiation? None.

But it was really funny to watch them tremble.

And I have a bone of contention to pick on them. First off, don't contradict yourself. Second, do NOT, repeat, do NOT use the same words over and over again. I counted that you used the word 'harping" in all your 3 speakers and 1 reply. I don't do debate, but I'm pretty sure my rebuttal will be better than yours. Right. Bone picked. Next on!

Today's Literature class was quite fun. For one thing, it's not often that your teacher asks (actually, commands) you to do arm exercises to increase your "stamina". Why? Because they expect 8 to 10 pages per question. Yes yes, must try weight lifting to get muscles. LOL. I have a test on Friday and I hope that I do well, it'll be wonderful to get an 18 and above. Right. Have to study and practice.

Another thing was that she asked us to "bullsh*t" in the nicest of terms. In other words, she said it didn't matter what you wrote as long as you don't re-use the same word or you'll get marked down for repitition. It makes me want to take out my thesarasus and start learning. And spelling too XD

Finally got round watching the PVs...and I think I won't be watching on for a loooooong time. Look, I'm a highly paranoid individual with an overactive imagination. Watching things like Filth and Illuminati just makes me want to jump and scream at the slighest sound. While it appeals to all you sadists, I'm sure that you -WOULDN'T- want to hear me scream. Especially if I'm right next to you.

Watched Drain Away and was kinda disappointed and scared too. It seems that I'm easy to creep out or something. I'll just watch some Vanilla to get over being scared and giggle at Gackt doing funky things on stage again. Hear me? Ha. Ha. Ha. No neko, you haven't scared me that much yet! Sadist....

Okay I'm lying. *runs off crying*

hug hug! *glomps Auddy*

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:23 a.m.+

TokiDoki

Listening to: Megumi Hayashibara - Extriction Perfumix

Slow day today. Air was clingy and humid, the sky wasn't really shining but it wasn't cool either and I could hear the fan swinging lazily as it twirred above. Boredom. I fought valiently to overcome it, but I couldn't help yawning during Chemistry. I mean, I love Chemistry but the teacher is so slow that I want to fall off the chair and sleep. Please! How many times do you have to repeat to yourself that yes, the mole concept is just a ratio?

Enough already!

Flipped through Solaris, but I couldn't concentrate. Anyhow, came up with another design but I don't really feel like uploading it as of yet. Within 2 days I uploaded enough already, I think. Maybe I'll upload some photographs soon, the city skyline ones I took in China.

Was just thinking...Deviant Art is really great in some respects. Sure, it's big, bulky and overcrowded but it does help your confidence. I always thought I was a terrible artist ( I still do actually) mainly because my style (if you want to call it that) is mixed. I don't have the sharpness of Auddy's manga-istic artworks or the chibi-ness of Toraneko's artwork. Point being, I never felt I was good enough. Sure, everyone admired my traditional strippling, woodwork etc techniques, but it wasn't what they liked. But it's amazing in DA, because the people there are really nice and they actually compliment you!

Makes you feel really good.

Joyce is behaving surprisingly well today, I suppose that she feels guilty but I don't really care. She made herself do it, why should I relieve her of her guilt? Choice. Interesting how she goes up and down, torn between knowing it's wrong to comment but doing it anyway and feeling guilty later. It's rather patheic, but comical too.

It's hot today, sticky hot. Like the stickness of lycra, clinging like a second skin...It's humid and blanket-like and feels like a mental fog pressing against teh confines of my cranium.

Okay, I'll go finish some work~

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:54 p.m.+

The world ended with not a bang but a whimper

Listening to: American Idol constestants

Dreamed alot today, I was thinking that maybe sometimes inaction is also an action. It's so strange....the whole leXis affair. I think I knew it was doomed, and though I blamed everything on pure inanity, and that she was the one to say goodbye. It's me too. I knew it would happen. But I didn't do anything about it, in fact, I set myself up.

Maybe people marry those they don't love.

Do I love Yoshiki?

Today was fairly interesting, I get the feeling sometimes that Joyce is resentful of me. Isn't it strange? Oh well. Got really hyper then really down. It's quite funny how emotionally unstable I can get, not very healthy desu ne.

Oh. I joined DevinatArt after Auddy's buggering. Personally, I find it amusing that people actually LIKE my art enough to comment. I don't think I'm that good. Ah well, perfectionism must be catching.

http://tsu-tsu.deviantart.com/

Love ya all,
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:44 p.m.+

Darzig

I'm not blogging about anything particular. I'm just feeling hazy and dullish today

I was just thinking about pretty things like dancing feathers and orange light and hazy glows with stormy sides. It's always so interesting to sit and stare at the sky and wonder if the clouds are more than just condensed forms of water vapour. Sometimes I feel like I've never really found myself or what I want and I just push and move forward like a malenky toy wound up and down by a spring of emotions without ever knowing where I'm going. Transient, I think.

I remember coming home today and smelling the scent of lilies in the house which were pink and opening and so very sweet and cloying. Lilies. Lilies are strange flowers, my mother adores them however. Sometimes I think that lilies are cups of frangrances, enticing, cloying and oh so sweet. They say that lilies are the flowers of death, and sometimes, maybe I can smell death in them. They smell so deadly sweet, like the smell of stale funeral palours and rotting meat, they smell like sweaty bodies and too rich perfume. If temptation had a scent, I think it would be the scent of lilies.

I don't really know what to think of, it's too dreamy tonight to think. It's the time when fairies come out with their tiny twisted faces and prance about your table, always out of reach. There are times when I don't feel I'm really here, and this is one of them.

. I'm not really special, I think. I had two eyes which I inherited from my mother, dark and not very sparkling, it's supposed to be pretty but I think they're too big for me. Anyways, they don't sparkle like they're supposed to. I'm no heroine I guess. My nose is too small and face too round. It gives me a semi-cherubic look, or semi-demonic look, depending on how I feel, people tend to underestimate me because of that, because I have a tendency to look younger than I am.(until I open my mouth that is) My mouth is not a pretty violet or rosebud, or pouty and full, but it's mobile and expressive and after years of singing/acting training, I have a good projection and a strong voice. I have dark wavy hair and it curls when I wake up. I've never understood the meaning of rebonding, rebond is to rejoin or recombine, I never see hair combining. In fact, rebounded hair always looks undernorished to me. It's shoulder-lengthish and dark, and rather thick. It's nice though, and it's pretty to play with.

That's the face I see in the mirror.

I'm always interested in how things look like, whether it's the angle of a shadow on a leaf, which actually shows that black is a colour and has many shades or the way sunlight turns orange when a storm is coming. It's true, when a storm is coming or when it's cloudy and hazy the sunlight turns into this bronzy brassy dull orange colour. It makes the world look hot and dusty and desert-like with queerly coloured plants and baked cars. Plus it makes people look green.

Sometimes when I look at people or things, a sudden image comes to mind. For psychics, it's known as psychometry. For a scientist, it's known as free-association. Interesting eh? But I believe that people have been doing this for years when it didn't have a name, and it's more an instinct than anything else. Like when I see Judith, sometimes I get a half second splitting image of a volcano. The slopes are fertile for knowledge, and it can be used for good and nuturing. But then when it gets angry and passionate, a deep well opens and spews it's molten fire. Like when I think of Auddy, she feels like angelfish and dark blue water, like copper (II) sulphate, a picture of contrasts. Even words liek skyscraper, I think of a tall building with an antennate poking the sky.

It's so fascinating to look at things.

Even my teachers remind me of other things. Mrs Alex reminds me of a teddy bear, not those awful ones you gte now, those large german made ones with expression. Mrs Mag Low reminds me of peppermint. Peppermint is a very interesting flavour. Some people like it, some people don't. It's sweet, but not too sweet. It's sharp and spicy and racy at the same time yet it is so old fashionally elegant. It's affected, yet it laughs at it's own affection. Prettied with sugar jellies and coloured stripes yet it -knows- that it is peppermint. Yes, Mrs Low reminds me of peppermint.

I wonder what I'll taste like. Cinnimon? Chocolate? Lemon drops?

I don't really know what to say at the end, and I'm not good at ending my thoughts. Well, maybe there's no point in this, maybe it's just a ramble, but it is my thoughts.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:11 p.m.+

Kitto OK.

Listening to: Kurt Nilsen - Beautiful Day, Kurt Nilsen - Ebony

Damnit. This guy is GOOD. He's a GREAT FANTASTICAL singer. I mean it. I don't care if he looks like a hobbit or is a Norwegian pop idol, he's GOOD singer. Fantastic voice. Did I mention that he won the World Idol show? Yup, he's THAT good.

Okay, blog time.

Saturday
Invited Sharon, Auddy and Melissa to my house to do our Lit essay. It's not easy. Really. I barely managed to write the full 10 pages and I racked my brains so hard I nearly ran out of ideas. Baaaaaaaaaadd... I usually never run out of ideas. Sharon was kinda flakey, prolly cos she was too tired to concentrate on our essay. Honestly, I wish they had a stronger work ethic. Melissa is okay, it's just that she's kinda out of point and I wind up explaining >.< Auddy was pretty good at crapping and BSing but she doesn't know how to phrase'em right. Phrasing is the difference between a good and a GREAT essay.

I don't understand why Auddy called me a workaholic.

I'm not really one am I?

Anyways, we finally -managed- to finish it. It's long and wordy and pretty okay. Haven't done much editing except in the beginning and the rest was crap. Inchorent? check. Not flowing? Yup. Needs polishing? Definetly. It's not seamless enough. The linking from one point to another isn't right and kinda crappy. Arrrrraghhhhh...NEED TO FIX IT

Went out with dinner with dad, kinda a pity cos my head was still swimming with Eddie, Marco and Alfieri. Damnnnnnnnnn...If I edited it right there and then it would be much better than doing it later.

Ate sushi, the conveyer belt kind and it wasn't too bad. I kinda liked the takoyaki. TAKOYAKI!!!~~ I like takoyaki XD. Hopped over to NYDC and had a mudpie. They didn't add enough Irish Cream! Do not advertise Irish cream unless there are LOTS of it, comprehendo?

Went home, finished one more page of essay, skimmed over the beginning parts and fixed a couple of errors. Mostly repition problems and grammer, there were some unique mistakes though, one of it being 2 IDENTICAL paragraphs. Mostly likely I copied and pasted twice without knowing.

Then my brother comes with a request for me to make logos for his girlfriend's orientation camp and I gladly acceded to his request. It wasn't too hard and I did a pretty quick job of it. Looks great too! Hopefully he'll buy me the Kurt Nilsen CD for it (a ha! ulterior motives!)

Sunday
If it is possible for a party to be boring this would be it.

Mom's party went pretty well I suppose. I didn't drink any alcochol, surprise surprise. I wanted to have a glass of white chardonnay, but this vintage wasn't good so I couldn't partake. Yuck. Dad's one was better.

I like white wine better than red. LOL.

The guests were ordinary and well, ordinary. I couldn't find any kindred souls so I didn't bother. Plus they were all too busy play soccer on the PS2.

Finished somemore work and edited up to page 3 (?). I'm not sure. Then I did the schedules for Arts Alive. Nothing really, just work. Oh yeah, searched on the net for 1950s period outfits for View From the Bridge, I must look like a REAL ITALIAN immigrant. Oh yeah.

----Random dreams--------

Yesterday night was CRAZY. I didn't even think I fell asleep, it felt like I was just falling then bam!

The first one was the big huge mansion with this little blond kid/boy who had no friends. The house was huge with this great oak staircase and red walls and glint edges. The study room was warm ochre and then he made friends with this little girl and they found out that a type of stone, called zionite when made aqueaous had mermaids in it and someone was making them into rings and killing the mermaids.

Am I turning into an enviromentalist?

Next one was about Yoshiki. He was apparently invited to star in a MacDonald's commmerical and 15 students from S'pore could fly to Oklahoma city to watch a real filming. What I remembered was that Gearldine Eng was making a fool of herself in the airport adn we nearly didn't take off.

The studio was grey and Yoshiki was wearing a red shirt. Then I told him somthing.....I don't know what. He flew to SG soon after and we had ice kachang. *BLINK* SG didn't look like SG. It looked like something from War and Peace and I was living near Keppel Harbour. There was a bridge and we were talking and then he said something but I couldn't hear....

The last thing I remembered was he was looking shocked and trying to grab my hand and a computer sceen featuring the X Japan forum I always went. There's a girl from the forum, Aletheia and she posted a message that Yoshiki went to film a commerical in Okaholma city.

Then I woke up.

It's so real that I asked my sis whether I said anything yesterday. Strange ne. Atashi wa yokan no yume?

---------------End weirdness--------

okay, ja

tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:33 p.m.+

NeverLand?

Listening to: Seven Nation Army - White Stripes

Tired....I'm going to try to give as good a rundown as possible. Okay, went to school (duh), talked to Judith about Physics (she's really hilarious ne) and did my Physics test.

Wasn't too hard, the test. I think only the last question was problematic, other than that everything should be fine and dandy. Mrs Mag Low didn't come for Lit and we had a subsitute teacher. Surprise surprise! It's none other than Charlene Khoo, Mrs Khoo's daughter, ex-Vicehead Prefect in 2001. See? I remember. She was in Girl Guides and the FIRST senior I quarrelled with. I used to think she's cool and all, but now? Not really. She made me realize how much I hated conforming to the rules and the stupid seniority system.

Girl Guides = CATTLE PROD SYSTEM (with Grasslander Politicks)

Anyhow, I doubt she remembered, a little individualistic twerp who hated marching, broke all their useless rules and made as much trouble as possible without getting kicked out. Ah....Those were the days......

Had our first rehearsal for the school play and we MUST win. MUST. Got a very nice compliment from Judith (awwww.....) She said I could carry off the angst and anger played by Marco. Yay! Director is nice person ne. She's our director and a bloody good one. Even though she's quite a slave driver.

Okay, reminder to self: Make costume.

Went for Arts Alive and had a long meeting. Fixed the Production timings, the Grouping timings, Calling systems et al. Even most of the camp stuff was settled. Yay! Great~ Was kinda pissed to learn that Andrea is -STILL- after my position. Geez, she doesn't do anything and yet she wants the place. *sighs* Kinda sad in way, I feel -sort- of sorry for her.

Went home, crashed and woke sis up to rush to watch Peter Pan cos the roads would be closed at 6pm. We NEARLY didn't make it. I was practically famished, cos I haven't eaten the whole day (thus is the life of a sec 4). Went to Yoshinoya to eat and then BK for the chocolate sundae. Yum. Actually, I was so hungry I had to remind myself to -eat- and -chew- and not gobble and get sick later.

I STILL didn't eat my carrots though. LOL.

Peter Pan was a really good movie, I really suggest you watch it. OMG! I wished that Peter and Wendy would go and live toegther. Damnit, it's just so cute and sweet and sad at the same time. Half the time I was going "~romance!!!~", other half of the time I hyperventiling over the BEAUTIFUL scenes. It's BEAUTIFUL. The animation is wonderfully untacky and perfectly suited for the fairylike character of Neverland. The soft focus used on Wendy and the closeups with her and Peter lend an impressionistic, almost pre-Raphealite aura/glow. Aarrraghhh....they even had a semi-Lake Macalania scene.

In short: I LOVE IT~!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:23 p.m.+