Listening to: Hide - Everfree
Matter of Importance:
Beta Reader Wanted!
I'm sick of editing 20 odd stories by myself with no help. I'm also sick of reading and re-reading my work until midnight just to check for spelling and lines only to realize "Aw frack! I missed a line!" here and there. I've only managed to edit 2 stories out of 20 and at this rate, I'll never be able to start it up.
So! Anyone interested?
Qualities Needed:
-Good command of English. You must be able to know when and where to insert semicolons.
-HONESTY I cannot stress this enough. If my story sucks, just say it. Giving me a GOOD HONEST opinion is much better than telling me it rocks.
-Free time. Didn't I say 20 over odd stories? Please, if you're a fic writer already and you need to spend time on your stories, don't offer. Because there's alot to clean up.
Lastly, if you're homophobic, don't bother.
Email me: sumeragi_@hotmail.com Or here
Thank you!~
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 01:49 p.m.]
Something I've promised a couple of people a couple of times before the holidays. ^_________^ I've finally found time to do it. You can copy it and do whatever you like with it just DON'T DIRECT LINK. And yes, deep down, we all hate him.
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 05:31 p.m.]
Listening to: Last High - Duran Duran
Finished reading Man In Maze and Oryx and Crake. Alex, I'm pretty sure you'll like Man In Maze. It's got those wonderful allusions to mazes and mirrors and corridors and humanity and discovery. It's a really simple story but it's done SO WELL it stays in your head like a festering wart. You can't stop thinking about it. How fantastic, how pitiful and how mind-boggling it is. Like any other story, it's got some bad points. For one thing, there's an introduction by Neil Gaiman. Okay, I LIKE Neil Gaiman, but he isn't as good anymore and his review sucked. SUCKED. He's a bloody good writer and we can thank him for Sandman et al, but his introduction sucked.
And no fighting over this.
Oryx and Crake is more.......human based than Man in the Maze but they're both about humanity and the progress of science. Human as in....characters. But even then, it isn't really accurate *sighs* Like..-HUMAN- Okay. Anyways, it's a bloody good story, well defined and created characters from bitter Snowman to coquettish Oryx to well. Crake. Crake is just Crake. There isn't a good description of him. It's a bit like describing Everything. I admit, the story starts of reaaaaalllly slow, but it picks up about 1/4 of the book. And the place and setting is done very well, especially the sutble influence of Science and Progress, from OrganInc to RejuvenEsense and all the what nots. Some parts are damn creepy though. Pigoons. *shudders*
Past few days has been tense and admittably frustrating. Peer Support started off okay, but I get this hint that the teacher doesn't really like me, and that no matter how much I try to blend in, I'll always be standing in my spotlight and nothing else. It just brings back all that pesky emotions about belonging and everything. *sighs* I try too hard I guess. I should be happy being weird. Right?
Arts Alive is Arts Alive. That means nothing is done unless I rant rave scream and chase like a fishmonger. Okay I'm just pissy..........
Today we were supposed to do this roleplay thing. I'm happy that it was sucessful, I'm happy that the facilitators thought I should go acting. And I'm extremely pleased at compliments.
But.........
It was afterwards then people started avoiding me, and then Erika dragged out certain details of my life during the skit and then Generieve began to do it for real. It's like just because I play that character, doesn't mean I'm like that character. Don't they understand that? I'm not a character! And you shouldn't mix play acting with real life. This skit was supposed to educate on how to handle different behaviours, not turn into a Real Thing. It's not right to drag out real dirt on me in public, it's not right to CONTINUE treating me like that after the damn thing is over. I'm real! I'm real! Can you see that!? I'm not anime! I'm not a doll! I'm not a character! Can't you see?
Stop treating me like I have no feelings.
Reel life ain't Real Life
*grouses* On one hand it shows how good and convincing I am, on another hand I hate being ostracized for playing a hatable character. I'm not hatable, am I? It's not right.
*sighs* I'm starting work tomorrow, so hopefully I'll finish filming and working within 2 weeks and then I can finally concentrate having fun and holidays. :) Day 10 is due on Friday as well as the epilouge and all XD XD I've worked hard on it and changed stuff. I hope you like it~!
PS. Thanks for all your concern when I was sick!
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 04:12 p.m.]
[tsu dreamt of you at 06:51 p.m.]
Listening to: Wind - Akeboshi
Feeling waaaay better and my fever broke just in time for more fic. I wonder, does anyone read it in the first place anymore? *thinks* Ah well, if you want to read it then just go ahead. I'm pretty sure everyone thinks it's dead anyways.
Slacked around, went out and bought lotsa junk and I'm planning to paint my nails sparkleberry pink. Oh starting work and filming on Monday so I prolly won't be home for a while. Just email me, or call me okay? I promise to call back, just leave your name and number.
-----------------------
In Ten Days'
Day Nine
-------------------------
Day Nine
"Hey Raphel?" Hands snaked themselves round the naked waist, stroking the flesh into complience.
A sharp intake of breath. Gasp. Jeremy smirked to himself. So far so good.....
"Mmm?" Pale white body arching at open-mouthed kisses. Eyes dazed and wide opened with desire.
"I was wondering...you know...." Warm fingers travelled lower, past the smooth abdomen. Tongue dipping into the navel. Teasingly.
Hands clutched his head in desperation. "Yes?" Breathy. Perfect...will he or will he not?
"I mean I've noticed it......." More kisses, reaching up, he twisted a nipple harshly, then soothing it with a swift stroke of his tongue.
"Uhhh...." Eyes slid shut for a second, feeling the skin on skin, drowned in pleasure. Can I make him tell me? Jeremy wondered.
"Like...The paleness of your skin...and you're always coughing and tired and cold......" He could feel the slight increase of tension on the skin, testing. Soothingly he stroked the inner thighs, hands roaming percariously close.
More kisses again. Drawing himself up, he revelled in the sensations. Skin upon skin, warm and sensual, comforting yet desirable......so soft. He watched as it lit up Raphel's face, smirking at his response. Bringing his face close to Raphel's, he placed them both eye to eye.
Tell me the truth please
"So.....Why?" Carefully modualed voice. Hint curiousity, devoid of anxiety. Playful , even?
Froze. He could feel Raphel's shock radiating beneath him, shaking, tense and frightened. His head, a second ago thrown back in pleasure, now hiding behind a curtain of chesnut hair.
"Hello? Raph?" He brushed away the hair, tilting the other man's chin to look directly in the eye.
"You knew." Flat monotone.
"Yea...well, I suspected." Jeremy could feel his insides turning queasy. Don't hate me..
"Then why did you ask?" Plead. Plantitive and weary. Oh, so weary and tired....He wrapped his arms around Jeremy in comfort.
"Because I love you. Because I deserve the truth. Because you need to tell me. Now will you tell me?
iloveyousomuchloveyousomuchloveyousomuch
And Raphel told him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know, you -are- a devious bastard", Raphel comtemplated over his second blueberry pancake. "But a decent bastard."
Laughter. "I always aim to please." More laughter and more pancakes.
Fork poised over a third mouthful. Thought.
Shadows.
A whispher. "Do you hate me for doing this? For this?" Eyes dark and wild. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Silence.
"Raphel, shut up and eat your pancakes." A sigh of amusement.
"Look. If I hated you, you bloody hell won't be screwing me for free y'know"
"Besides, I promised".
I won't leave you
However he was unprepared for Raphel. Kissing him all over happily, smearing blueberry syrup all over his face, crumbs falling into his shirt and lap and of course, a cuddly bundle of Raphel. "Raphel...You're smearing jam over my face." He pushed his smiling man away, trying not to smile.
"Aww...you're no fun." Pout and wobbly eyes.
Sigh. "Grow up." Geez, you would have thought as least part of his mind matured with the rest of him
"Sophomore cynic"
"Overgrown kid."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A blast of winter air. Cold. Jeremy clasped his arms around Raphel, a subtle sign of possesion and affection. mine! It screamed to the world. Streets were less empty now, Christmas was coming. Red hangings and gold trappings.Trappings Jeremy mused. Trappings that held things together. Festivals. Families. Trappings. A net of relations and bonds. Trappings. Are we all trapped in our own relationships then?
Everyone is trapped with each other. Sneaking a glance at Raphel, he smiled tenderly at the thought. A happy slave.
Trees, evergreen, chopped and ready for households. Merry choirs stood on the sidewalks, braving the cold and sniffles, singing with enthusiam as they tried to huddle for warmth and charity. Some were older, more professional-looking, complete with keyboards and microphones. Others, filled with cherubic children, red-cheeked , lisping cutely over lines, eyes wide with childish enthusiam and innocence.
Fall on your knees
And hear the angel's voices
And Night!....Divine
Oh night, when Chirst was born
And Night!...Divine
He felt rather than saw Raphel discreetly dropping a few coins in. "Thank ye sir! Merry Christmas!" Oh night divine huh? He thought ironically. Simply divine. Further down, he could see men hanging up ornaments for Michelmas tomorrow. Michelmas, a celebration before Christmas. It was older than Christianity, older than most religions, it came from the pagans, and village worship. Michelmas, a celebration of the winter sostalics, of togetherness.
Tomorrow...Raphel is -No! He witheld the thought testily. How can he be so calm?
Raphel as usual, was obvilious to everything. Chattering about the colours, mauve, gold, green and red, buying candles for Michelmas tomorrow. Beeswax or praffin? How could a man be so mundane? Because that's all he has left He realized suddenly. All he has left Shutting his other thoughts firmly, he waded through satin ribbons of all hues and threw himself to every mundane task as if it was the end of the world.
Which was, in a sense.
"I heard there's going to be fireworks tomorrow!" Raphel said enthusiacally. "I've never seen fireworks before! Can we see them? Can we? Huh? Please? Can?" Raphel was practically bouncing in his enthusiam, tugging the edge of Jeremy's sweater persistently.
Fireworks
Jeremy smiled as an idea blossomed in his mind.
"Sure! But I know a great place to watch them."
"Really?! Where?!" Head bobbing with childish excitement.
Sly smile. Hushed tone. "Secret".
I promised I won't leave you and I won't leave you until the very last second, the very last breath. Even then, I will never forget you
Resolution.
Never
-----------------------------------------
Know something funny? I wrote teh epilouge and the NC-17 before writing Day 9 and 10 XD XD
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:38 p.m.]
Bleh. I feel terrible....My cold has dropped to a fever + god knows what.
And being me, I stubbornly refuse to see a doctor and suffer.
For what you ask?
For nothing, I say. I'm just being a stubborn and pig-headed tsu.
Watched MatrixRevolutions which is so fantastically mundane and annoying that even I'm surprised. So they spen millions just to make a MUD FIGHT? *points to Smith and Neo* OH MY GAWD. That's like teh Most Expensive Mud Fight EVER. The storyline is not only convoluated, but filled with so many puesdo mutterings it makes EVERYONE sound like the Oracle. And one Oracle in the universe is more than enough. The music is also crappy, filled with MORE spiffy stuff like Latin crap which more or less translates to "Messiah is here and coming to save our asses"
What just shocks me is they spent 10 over million on a BLOODY MUD FIGHT.
Came out of the &^&@! Matrix Revolutions feeling totally uncool and more sick, due to a pounding headache in the rythem of Neo's mutterings and achoos! My beary-eyedness gave way to a very insistent and hungry stomach. So we went to Kino to buy books. Now what has food and books got to do with each other you ask? Well, they both have 2 oo's
Bought Man in the Maze by Robert Silverburg, the coolest Sci-fic author ever on the planet Earth (and beyond) . I was actually looking for his other book, Roma Eterna but it was a frikkin $32 and I didn't have enough cash, not to mention the queue was longer than a Hello Kitty Line. After that, we all stomped off to Traders for dinner.
Traders has great food, but when you're sick and on a cold, you can BARELY taste anything and well, sneeze sneeze. The worst is when you're SICK and HUNGRY cos you don't know when to stop eating cos your nerve systems are TOTALLY SCREWED.
And that leads us with Tsu puking over the toilet bowl like some pregnant woman.
I haven't felt so sick before and my goddamned father didn't even know I was sick. I have such loving parents don't I? So after much puking and staring at the sides of the toilet seat (gee! I never knew that my insides looked like carrot peel), I took some panadol and it's time to sleep before my body decides to go on war again.
PS. Alex, sorry I can't call ya, I don't have your uncles house number. >.<
Love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:34 p.m.]
I can't listen to anything cos my ears are muffy and I can't tallk much either.
TSU HAS A BLOODY COLD +FLU
Woke up sniffling and sneezing, began the awful task of doing the CCA Board which is now, due to my (sole) efforts blue and black and *quite* pretty. I came to school feeling woozy, by the time I stepped out again at 4pm to go home, I was going to faint. So I went to sleep and woke up again.
I can't smell or taste anything and I feel like a dead person. Loud noises make me want to yell and scream because it hurts my head like a jackhammer on a sugar high. And my mom has NO SYMPATHY whatsoever. *kicks mom* Ugh >.< Terrible terrible terrible.....
If you need anything from me by today or tomorrow, just call my house number and make it short, or I might just feel like killing you.
love and NO LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a very sick tsu
PS. I hate Liang Court
[tsu dreamt of you at 07:39 p.m.]
Listening to: Come Undone- Duran Duran
Met the principal today and OMFG! I PASSED MY PURE PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY!!!!. I'm was so happy!!!! *dies* It's a personal satisfaction of doing well and getting results. Funny thing is, I'm not going for a pure science class as I wanted, I opted to continue sub-science instead. Why?
1)My class people are nicer.
2)I'm garenteed an A1 for general science.
After that, I went to Liang Court to pick up the trenchcoat from Serene and waited from 9.30am to 1pm. Tsu's conclusion of the damn place: Liang Court is BLOODY COLD. *chatters* c-c-cold.....*wobbles* Another thing I found out is that they sell cheap Japanese clothes. XD XD Buuuyyyyyyy...*drools over clothes* Drew some stuffs too and ate at Mac's and drank a scary 4 cups of coffee. Yes, sugared. The way *I* like. And the place is bloody cold.
Hopped over to Holland Village and thankfully got on the *right* bus. God knows how many times I mixed up Holland Rd and Holland Village. Two Seperate Enities. Righto. Anyways, met up with Alex and went to see the tailor. Outfit costs about $110~! I'm happy cos it's pretty cheap for a Miyabi outfit. XD XD XD
Went to Alex's house and proceeded to Take Over Her Bed. Now, Alex is blessed with those kind of beds that requires lolling around and lots of soft things like pillows, comforters and blankets. Which was REALLY NICE. Had a funky lunch of scrambled eggs (tsu's cooking) and ham (god loves mircowaves) and Lapsang Suchong (BLOODY FANTASTIC TEA). Then I realized that Alex really liked cleaning up. For me, I just grabbed at fork, stacked everything on top of a piece of toast and munched. For Alex, it was a fork, a knife and very nicely done bit-sized pieces. Until the ham which is unmanagble due to Fantastic Mircowaves (tm).
Brought lovely cups of smoking Lapsang Suchong into her room, which is a lovely shade of pink I might add. Glomped, well, not really...I just hugged her and I nearly fell asleep. Really. Talked about many things and yea, we were quiet when it was nice to be quiet, we talked when we felt like it, it was nice, it was comfortable. And no, we didn't do anything. It's more like sisterly sort of love y'know? Okay, we were sharing a bed, but I share a bed with my mom and sis all the time. Physical contact isn't about sex, it's just friendship.
*kicks all perverted people*
It's disgusting.
Went home pretty late and her mom was okay. Decent. Had dinner and Dreyer's Ice Cream for dessert. Was happy fill and totally comfortable with everything ^_______^ I feel so contented. And happy. Read a couple of fics and I recommend one in particular. If you're a Gackt fan, please don't be offended, just DON'T READ.
Part One
Part Two
All of it can be found at Le Ciel Place by Nyde pairing: Gackt x Hyde.
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:15 p.m.]
You are the fairy harp you are good at many things
and everyone likes you.
Kingdom Hearts: What Keybalde Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
[tsu dreamt of you at 08:00 p.m.]
I don't know why I'm posting now. It's just weird feelings.
Do you know a thought can kill you? It can eat you up and consume you? And I don't really know I'm just bloody weird.
I wonder if other people were like me. If they actually knew what I was talking about instead of nodding blindly all the time. The strange choking sensation, when your heart clenches and holds so tight like you're suffocating and then it hurts but then it's a odd of sort pain and you realize you're drowning. I think the real reason why I quite wasn't because of Kakyounin or anything, after all, I haven't complained for 3 over years.
I'm just scared of what music can do to me
For most, music is a sort of meditative relaxation I guess. For me, music is alive. I hear it all the time, even when I'm not playing or singing anymore. Inspiration, it comes from music. It's so scary....It's like if I want a certain type of story I just play the music and my mind and mood just react to it uncomprehendingly. Then when I start to write, all the dreams start coming and coming and the music is like a trap and it holds like magic and twines itself round your neck like some phantom and then whisphers it's secrets to your ear. It's dual personality. Sometimes it's wonderful and tender sweet and gentle sometimes you know that it's terrible and horrifying cos everything will tangle and mess up and start crying crying crying then it breaks down to nothing. Worst of all, you can't do anything about it. This music. It's not what you hear on the radio or anything, because I hear it everywhere, like an aura or a vibe. Sometimes I like people automatically is cos they're music sounds clean and clear, like bells. But it's so scary at the same time and terrifying because you don't know what will happpen and sometimes it just strangles and chokes you into tiny tiny fragments of something the world hasn't invented yet.
I'm scared cos no matter what, music owns me cos I signed the contract to listen.
And I can hear it laughing sometimes, so terrible. I'm quite scared I guess, and this isn't real. I keep telling myself this isn't real! and it isn't real! and everything isn't real! and I'm just daydreaming...Then I realize that it'll never let me go cos I can feel it one my skin, round my neck, kissing me. I hate it. Then it twists cruelly. I hate this I hate this and this isn't even real so what I am talking about??? Sometimes it's gentle and sweet and dances and dips and skims and flies and soars but in the end, is this really worth it? Just to hear it?
It inspires me. It's terrifying. And I'm bloody scared.
I really want peace, I just want some peace. Like some peace of mind or someone, anyone. Everyone thinks I'm crazy or they really just pity me. But they never understand what's it like to feel because the music makes you feel. Everything. Like, if I wanted to cry, I'll play Gackt's Houshi no Suna and then 15mins later on loop, I'll be crying my eyes out and I don't even undertand what the HELL he's talking. Or if I'm feeling nasty or evil and feel like killing something, I'll play Penicillin-Chaos and wham bam! next minute I'll be ready to take over the world. Or a song to calm me down, I'll play Ali-project Chu Chu Chu....
Within a span of 15 mins,I can laugh cry sing smile weep.
I don't think these emotions are real, I don't like being maniuplated like this too. Are these real? Is anything real anymore? I'm not a dream, I'm real right? I'm there right? I'm so scared of losing myself and just following the music and then I'll just be an emotion-meter.
I don't like the fact that I can be so easily influenced by a piece of music. True, it's supposed to be a universal language, but I don't see anyone else who detests and loves it as much as I do. I don't see anyone else saying that music is one of the most terrible lovers to have. Yes, you read right, lover. It's AWFUL. And I feel bloody awful......Paying me with inspirations to keep me distantly amused, teasing me and then flirting back and forth. I wish it'll leave. I wish I could stop. But even if I stopped writing, the music will always be there, under my skin waiting to come out. Kakyounin didn't understand taht part, he understood that music was a lover, but he didn't understand that if you overdid it, you'll be eaten by it. And then there won't be a Kakyounin or Tsu or Anyone left by crazy music.
No thanks.
I'll kill myself first.
Because, if there is EVER a day that I have to make that choice, if there is ever a day I have destroy it. I will. I don't want to live in fear all the time, I don't want mood swings, tempremental problems, abuse. I don't want super highs or super lows. I just want.....slience.
Slience.
Wouldn't that be fantastic? Emptiness. Whiteness. Blankness. I actually crave that. To drown in physical contact, to drown in everyday problems instead of mental cages and god knows what. I love glomping, touching and hugging people for that reason. It reminds me that I'm still real, I'm still sane and I'm alive. I absolutely -adore- physical contact. Okay, it's strange but I do.
Because it's so much more wonderful to feel warm by touching someone.
I love you,
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 11:53 p.m.]
Listening to: Achy Breaky Heart - Unknown
Looked at alot of Moonchild clips and realized yet again that Gackt is not only gay, but SUPER GAY.
check the gayness at:
Moonchild 1
Making Of
Behold the EXTREME GAYNESS!
Finally finished Steeple and stuffs, I have the CCA board left and I think hopefully I can finish it by tomorrow. *please dear lord* I'm kinda used to being on my own already, which is strange. It's so strange to have yourself and slience, I used to be so scared of it. Cos then I'll start dreaming and dreaming and then I'll forget what I was doing in the first place.
Came home and slept till dinner. I was sooooo tired. At least -some- work had been done at today's meeting and I'm really happy that we're changing the Prez cos if not, I'm quitting goddamnit. Got back my report book, marks weren't pretty but OK. Scored an A1 for Science! Yay! and as usual failed Math and Chinese....*sighs* c'est la vie!
I'm sorta dazy and cruising along. Floaty dreamy romantiques....Like hazy. Like dripping rain down the windershins and jazz music floating sliently staring at the deary weary weather, dark roses on the table, pattering of rain. Lost.
I was never very good at describing feelings.
It just mostly feels unreal.
oh how I love you so
lost in those memories
of dripping rain
I feel the pain
It burns so deep inside me
so strong..........
I see your face
In mine.............
I have a feeling I'm not making much sense. It's dearyness and weariness and coldness and the general feel of pattering rain. How do I describe it? Like Jeremy says, maybe perfection is enough.
But -
I yearn for more.
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:50 p.m.]
Listening to: X Japan - Foreign Sand
A/N: Rockmelon jam is sold only in ACS(Barker), and it goes FANTASTICALLY with scones. And no, the reason why I have it is cos my Math tuition teacher is the HOD there. God bless her XD
I apologize for any delay, my life has been messy at the moment and I haven't really had any time to edit. Forgive any grammer, spelling and what-nots errors.
-----------------
In Ten Days'
Day Eight
-------------------------------
Day Eight
Bright neon green numbers announced shockingly that for the first time in many years, he had slept past noon. Groaning, he rolled to his side, only to find a heavy lump resting on his chest. Almost instantaneously, he mood lifted, smiling as he wrapped his arms further round the bundle of blankets. As gently as he could, he tried to stand up, only to find himself crashing against the blue carpet with a resounding "ow!"
"Just where do you think you're going?" A voice demanded from under the blankets. The hand did not loosen it's grip.
"To shower. For lunch. " He scowled as he picked himself off the floor. No noise from the bed.
Suddenly, he found himself unceremoniously dumped on to the bed. A delicate face twisted into an impish grin as chestnut brown hair fell across familiar features. Why of all people did I have to fall in love with a overgrown kid?
The man-kid giggled at his lack of response.
"I'm hungry too." Eyes travelled lavaciously up and down him, balantly obvious in it's meaning.
It was his turn to laugh. "Why Raphel, I have never realized you were so...........metaphorical."
Then no words needed to be said at all.
~~~~~~~~~
Who knew that Raphel could be such a deviant? He smiled at the thought, watching Raphel skipping gaily down the path. Is this person the same one who said he was -hungry-?
They had lunch in a small cafe near the market of St Victoria , hot chocolate and sandwhiches. Pipping hot crossiants, filled generously with a multitude of toppings, ranging from traditional custard and cream to rockmelon marmalade*, trays of cakes, choux and twirls formed an impressive array of pasteries. Little patties of butter, decoratively molded into tiny sea shells next of jars and jars of sugars and spices. Hot chocolate, mugs of warm liquid gold, served with tiny marshmellows, even Jeremy had drunk it, despite his insistance of have coffee.
The cafe was discreet yet open enough to watch people of all kinds stroll into the market. Nannies and mothers with children, wrapped up with cock robins in thick winter wear, brightly coloured in hues of warm red and sky blue and a christmas-like maroon. Mothers and stallholders arguing about the prices and freshness, bringing down the prices to a cutthroat. Hands gripping tightly to smaller hands until a flare of temper and then a frantic search for the missing "young'un" heralded by cries of "Sarah! Sarah! Where are you?". Half in anger, half in fear.
Stallholders chattering and nattering amongst themselves, gossip flowed easy and wit flowed long. Fishmongers with lowered voices about the trysts between the daughter of the vegatable seller and the butcher's son, only to find a customer coughing discreetly to get their attention. Interrupted, they packaged and charged the customer, their annoyance painted over their faces as they continued their hush whispers when the "irritance" left. Some, mercenary beyond belief, charging astronomical sums from bread to butter. Others, hawking their wares in loud voices and hoarse shouts of fantastic items like a stain remover who could "remove any stain!" to magically healing stones and sculptures.
They walked down the slient market. Mid-afternoon. Sunshine, fresh and warm, tore through the hazy cold of chilly winter breezes. Simple conversations, holding hands. Jeremy wondered if it was all a dream, the surreal quality furthered by Raphel's quiet but affectionate gestures. I feel like I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming? He wondered as he stole a glance at his lover. The cold reassured him, hands in his calmed him. It can't be this perfect. Nothing is ever this perfect! Something had to br amiss. Something. Anything.
Because his heart told him everything.
The strange way Raphel seemed to take everything at once, uncomplaining. How he valued everything from the smallest gestures to the euphoric pleasure of sex. How he seemed to say nothing with silence, and suddenly talk rapidly, as if struggling with some dilemma. Jeremy noted all this with patience, waiting.
Because for now, perfection was enough.
"Hey Jeremy, what do you feel like having tonight?" Raphel's voice cut through his thoughts.
"You." He said, unthinkingly.
"Before that I mean...Like, proper food." A disarmingly innocent smile.
Jeremy smiled slyly, pulling Raphel into his embrace, whispering into his ear.
"Chinese then?"
Raphel suttered out his reply, indicating he wasn't really thinking about it.
For now, perfection was enough.
But truth?
--------------------------------
love, tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 03:09 p.m.]
Listening to: Pick Up the Bits and Pieces - Friday Men
Feeling waaay better, and here's my holiday schedule cos yea, I'm TRYING to get off the comp and get my lazy self moving.
Belly dancing classes
Work
Tuition
Swimming
Study
It seems that the best way to get rid of angst is to DO SOMETHING. Makes me think that the whole reason why people get sad and depressive is cos they don't have enough things to do. That would really make sense since unemployment is the biggest cause of politcal failure. *shrugs* Bored People = Angsty People.
We're all just patethic
I'm pretty okay, and I'm trying to deal with everything so when I leave cosplay and Jrock, everything will be perfectly settled. I don't like fuss, and looks like I have done my best to make sure even a footprint won't find me. XD XD
Kakyounin kakyounin kakyounin........*sighs* Maybe it was for the best. Mentally speaking yes.
Besides, we'll prolly be killing each other if we lived together.
Read some books, didn't draw, didn't read fics or do any writing. Just slacked and planned stuff. Planning stuff makes you feel better I think. Chatted with Alex over the phone again and we realized we're good for each other's mental health.
Havne't talked much to anyone. Or leXis. But that's asking too much ne?
Love,
pretty okay now tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:09 p.m.]
Listening to : Jessica (wavemix)- Dir en Grey
I'm not here to whine, so don't worry minna. *plops down on chair* I'm just feeling rather dazed and out of sorts, with the added burden of trying to edit 20 over fics at one go as well as continue 10 days.
I....haven't really sorted out anything yet. And. It's getting difficult. It's like when I'm listening to Jessica I know why I listen to it. The whole song....Just makes me feel like running away get away get away and the temptation is almost irresistable. Close blog, change numbers and disappear. But is that really being mature? No. But I really want to run. Run far far away, as far as I can, as far from everything as possible.
Methinks it's cowardly behaviour.
It's a natural instinct, to run. But do I really want to run away from descisions? It's choices that make us who we are so in retrospect, I'm running away from myself. Then I thought about it some more, how many people am I hurting by running? My family, who has to put up with my mood swings. Kakyounin and the band. My friends. Most of them who don't deserve the edge of my (unseeming) temper.
So I chose.
It's harder than it looks, choosing. It seems so easy when you chose what to wear or what to eat, but..Oh well. I've decided to quit Papillion Toxique. Really. I know Kakyounin has put in alot of effort in training me and teaching me how to act and dress, and I am grateful for his friendship as well as mentorship. I know myself that if I wanted to, I -could- be a musician, and prolly a good one too, given the amount of times I spend on stage and performing. Then I realize that despite me yearning for fame (who doesn't) and recognition, I don't really want to be one.
It's been a long 3 years in Papillion Toxique and I have thoroughly enjoyed most of my times inside it. Sara teaching me makeup basics, Lafiet pouncing and giving sex talks, even Kakyounin smiling once or twice at a particulary funny school incident. I'll miss those times we shared, rushing from here to there, singing till I'm hoarse and maybe even our arguements.
doko de deau daro?
I loved all of you. Especially -you-. But then, everything fades ne? You taught me that. And...and.....and...I'm older now. I'm not really 15, even if that's what's in my certificate. I was NEVER 15. You took that. I've never really fitted in either. Because of that. Try, please, to understand. You saw me as a potential and used me. It's understandable, but forgivable? I don't know. You used me. You did. And both of us knew it. And...and...all of them thought I was crazy and making everything up but it was real! But that meant that no one knew me anymore, no one understood. I never talked about Papillion Toxique in school because NO ONE BLOODY BELIEVED ME. So I retreated.
It's your fault. And my price to pay for it.
So I grew smarter, but you never seemed to realize it and just patted me on the head and told me what to sing. I feel old. Sometimes I even feel like dying. But I'm really only 15 y'know. And...and....kids were never supposed to make these kinds of descisions. It was only when I started secondary school I realized what I was missing. I had no best friend, no clique to join in, I socialized all the time like a butterfly and used them to pour out my feelings and left the next day. Emotional One Night Stands. You knew that, and you didn't help because the more tortured I was, the better the quality of music. Perhaps, even cosplay helped because I had other influences.
So now I'm leaving. And if I'm not wrong, you're just dig up another person like me and use them. I care for you, and I could never truly hate you despite the fact that you screwed up my life. I'm gonna offer a friendship on EQUAL standing, not one of dominance or power plays. You once told me if I wanted to sing like Dir en Grey I might as well grow a dick. Now I'm asking you if you can see me without a dick but still a friend. I might not be a child anymore but it doesn't mean you can screw me either.
I know you you asshole.
Friends? doko de deau daro?
tsu hime
[tsu dreamt of you at 06:16 p.m.]
Results. No pretty not pretty not pretty >.<
Listening to: Ruin Your Life - Abandoned Pools
E Math - 50/100 C6
A Math - 24/100 F9
Sc(Chem) - 55/65 A1
Sc (Phy) - 46/65 A2
Sc (Chem/Phy) - 79% A1
Lit - 59/100 *rolls eyes* 1 BLOODY MARK MORE C5
History - 33/50 -B3
Social Studies - 32/50- B4 *yet another 1 BLOODY MARK case*
Total for SS/Hist - 65/100 - B3
Chinese - 24/100
English - Hmnnn...I only remember the percentage, it's 58% - B4
Now you know I'm a STUPID FUXXING IDIOT. *kicks self* It's days like this that make me want to puke and scream. I know since they haven't moderated the results and that they haven't counted the Midyear crap it's prolly off. And yes, oral hasn't been counted yet. *PLEASE GIMME MARKS* So yea, there's a incy wincy bit of hope.
Really incy wincy cos my midyear results were even WORSE. *kills self*
And today was supposed to be Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!! All Hallow's Eve!
*ish pissed*
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 08:05 p.m.]
Listening to: Dir en Grey - Cage
Okay. Rant time.
Tsu's rant against inconsiderate parents
I'm usually fine with kids and I usually like them. But this is different. She's my 3 year old cousin who has NEVER been to school and makes me seriously contemplate on murdering her.
I don't blame her much cos she's got such -WONDERFUL- parents who dump her at -MY- place and with maids. Heck, my aunt NEVER takes care of her. Sheesh. Zero on manners, considerate and apporiate behaviour. I might have been a mini-princess but at least I knew how to behave and be polite. IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS must DIE. She's this Tai-Tai who dumps her 3 year old at various relatives places' and goes jet-setting for nice dinners and leaves her with everyone. Not only that, she adopts children (my cousin is adopted) like pets and does it for fun and laughter, nappies are maids' work. *rolls eyes*
I am bloody pissed because if she doesn't stop scribbling over my artwork with crayons, drool over my soft toys, mess up my manga and books, make insane amounts of noise, smash her chubby fingers over my keyboard, rip my writings to shreds.
I AM SO GOING TO KILL HER.
Personally, I blame it on my FUXXING aunt who is an asshole and should die quick. *stabs her with various kitchen equipment* I absolutely detest parents like this and all of them should die a horrible and painful death. I can't write, I can't read, I can't even TALK to my friends. Okay, I'm -seriously- pissed.
*End Rant*
Please have mercy and kill me,
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 08:28 p.m.]
Listening to : Abandoned Pools - Ruin Your Life
They're actually -not bad- *ish amazed* I can't seem to find their other songs and there's one I like which I -can't seem to find-. For your info, they're an American band produced by Yoshiki. Okay *blushes* I tried it at first cos Yoshiki produced them then later I found out that the lead singer can _SING_. Omg. He's good. Really. Honestly. He needs polish (who doesn't?) but he's good.
Download at:
Main Site
Ruin Your Life
I'm bloody pissed. Cos I did REALLY BADLY for my fuxxing exams. As in very very bad. I failed A Math, passed E Math(only when they moderated the marks), dropped from an A2 to B3 for History/SS and C6 to C5 for Literature. Oh god, I'm not even gonna TELL you how badly I did for Chinese. Let's just say it wasn't pretty.
I am so dead.
I'm beginning to rethink Kakyounin's offer and drop school.
*ponders*
Felt horrible afterwards and dragged Auddy to ComiCon aka Comics Connection and bought Tatics 3 and The Ice Cold Demon's Tale 3 also. Lent Auddy some cash to buy xXxHolic which is by Clamp but I don't really like the plot and the artwork is too....oriental for me. Gimme my Sakurabono any day.
Okay. I'm in a fuxxing bad mood.
*goes to act all faggy and gay*
I'm pissed at the weather cod it's so goddamn beautiful and cool and the sky seems to have this ribbon of sheeny orange dipped in different shades of blue. Blue dove grey lighten to the faintest hint of blue ice white. Damn. It's pretty.
I want the sky to cry for me. RAIN DAMNIT!
Found my X Japan fic. It's like the only nice thing that happened today. My aunt came over and dropped her kid with us to babysit and went off to party. SOME people should NEVER become parents. Lousy child - dumping asses. *quite pissed* So now I'm stuck with a 2 year old. Who is wrecking the place.
Ugh. I swear I'm gonna join Auddy and become a child murderer.
I feel sick inside. Sick. Sick. Sick. I have a feeling it's more from personal confusion than the actual exams. It's not good or bad, or relationships or anything. It's just that, I don't know what I want to be anymore.
It used to be pretty obvious. Be a lawyer. Then Kakyounin came along with his Visual Kei-ness. Be a rockstar. Then I figured I wanted to help people. Be a doctor. So I sat for extra exams, slogged my ass off everyday for tuition and got A1s for science. Then I thought-
What do I really want?
And the answer was: I don't know.
God I am confused.
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 06:16 p.m.]
Listening to: Yoko Kanno - Valse de la Luna
A/N: Certain places need to be justified. Yes, the places are all real. London Eye is the ferris wheel. SinClair's is Saint Clair's in the Wort, it's a PARK. Shephard's Court and Raven's Court are the train stations, I found it by searching google. All details are fairly accurate.
----------------------
In Ten Days'
Day Seven
-----------------------
Day Seven
The key turned, sighing softly. Raphel stepped through the hotel door, methodically flicking the light switch as he placed his shoes neatly near the exit. He padded round the room, picking up a clean shirt or two and walked into the bathroom. Without thinking, he set his clothes near the shelf and turned on the shower head, feeling the hot water blast against his skin.
/"cocktease"/
Automatically, he reached out for the shampoo, pouring out a handful and rubbing it thoroughly into his head. He felt the water plusating against him, beating him red. Feeling wretched suddenly, he twisted the heater all the way up, wincing as the boiling hot water painted his fair skin a burning red.
/"cocktease"/
He closed his eyes, shutting them from the too bright bathroom, head leaning against the blue tiled wall. Vengefully, he switched off the heater, yelping as the icy cold water hit him. Without much ado, he quickly stepped out, watching the condensation on the mirror. The image of his face blurred, his features merging into one splotch of skin and hair.
/"cocktease"/
Rubbing himself vigourously with a towel, he quickly put on some clothes and nearly ran to the bed. He sprawled across it, bed too wide for a person and he knew it. He stared into the ceiling, watching the air conditioning flap and rotate, hearing the gentle buzz of traffic that never ceased below.
Today had been terrible.
He closed his eyes, remembering. Streets, windy and flapping, filled with faceless people as they bumped into one another, not looking, not apologizing. Trees, once beautiful and stark, now bare and empty. Every cafe, every street, reminded him of his companion. Then he had sought refuge in Harrods, hoping that the giant shopping centre would swallow him up and take his mind away. Everywhere he saw -him-. Laughing at the mirrors, hiding round the racks and rows of clothing. Preening and pirouetting in front of a mirror. His smile. His laughter. It echoed at every nook and corner.
Hurriedly, he left the building, crossing to Coventry Road, only to himself walking at the edge of Thames. London, it seemed, never wanted to leave him alone. Haunting him, mocking him, knowing that he had lost it all. The London Eye was still and unmoving, and the afternoon sun shone brightly, uncaring in it's business. Everywhere, was -him-.
London was -him-.
He did not remember much of anything, only the emptiness and the greyness. Beauty had fled, leaving hollowness in her wake. Bare. Empty. Roads honking with cars. Cobblestone street after cobblestone street, all melting into one. Faces blended and mixed. Red skin, yellow skin, black skin, white skin. What did it matter? Lost, train ways, subways, from Shephard's Court to Raven's Court. He wandered through them, dazed and lost. It was a maze, only not made of hedges, but of pretty streets, all facades. There were no white rabbits, only cars, trains and rushing crowds. Alice, it seemed, lived in everyone.
The Queen of Hearts had taken his heart a long time ago.
Twelve midnight. He could vaguely hear the sound of bells chiming. Flopping around, he felt past the cold hotel sheets, fingers feeling for the black plastic of the clock. Neon numbers glowed green in the dark, informing him it was indeed twelve. He closed his eyes.
/"cocktease"/
He huddled around the pillows, only to find them as cold as the sheets which twisted uncomfortably around his feet.
/"cocktease"/
He curled closer, trying to forget the warmth of -him-, the scent of -him-. Forget how his heart seemed to race when -he- kissed. Forget how he seemed to fit perfectly into -his- arms. Forget his his eyes, dark, intense blue, like the luminous shade of kingfisher blue. Eyes He saw them again, bright and sparkling in his mind, only to harden in anger.
/"cocktease"/
He threw off the blankets, trying to sleep. Turning over, he heard the bed creak nosily into the slient room.
/"cocktease"/
He sighed and switched on the lights, knowing it was futile to try and sleep. Almost unconciously, he put on a coat and shoes, preparing to walk, not knowing where he went. He walked out of the hotel lobby, slient and empty. Turn left, turn right, round the bend and right again. He walked and walked. Not knowing how long or where his feet was leading him to. Only walking. He saw the stars, shimmering palely against the city sky. The stars could never compete with the artifical brightness of streetlamps and streetlights. Those lights, it glowed so brightly, almost blinding him. So bright. Glaringly bright. Was that why no one could ever see in the city?
Night winged horses
No one can outpace
Midnight is no moment
Midnight is a place
He could hear the old childhood rhyme chanting round him as he walked. Then he stopped. SinClair's. He was at Sinclair's. He stared at the arching trees, whisphering shadaowly with each other, probarbly wondering who dared to intrude their sleep. The ash trees waved their ghostly white branches dancing to the unseen sound of the wind. Tall, redwoods towered threateningly. He increased his pace, walking faster and faster, then running running running. No one can outpace. Could he? He ran, past the trees, past the fences.
Then he stopped and looked up.
Panting, he stared. The lake was slivery green. Gentle currents weaving a lace of sliver and gold over a garment of dark green. Or was it blue? He couldn't be sure. The swans were still there, as always, luminously white against the darkness of the night. He breathed the night air, feeling suddenly tired from his exertions.
At the corner of his eye, he spotted someone. It was -him-
Involuntarily, he felt his feet walking, step by step by step.
"Hello." Greet
A slight nod of the head.
"Can is this seat taken?" Say no please.
"Not that I can see." Statement. Raphel breathed a small sigh of relief.
"Why were you running?" Question.
"The trees were threatening me." I was sacred because I didn't have you
"Quite so." Neutral tone.
They contemplated in silence.
"It's already dark. Should not a person like -you- be asleep?" Unsaid challenge. Raised eyebrow.
"I believe I have an appointment at midnight." Please don't leave me
"Midnight is no moment. Midnight is a place." Hint of annoyance.
The swans slept peacefully. The trees spread their branches peacefully. Silence.
"I believe that the gentleman I am waiting for is rather dense."God! I hope this works.
"Quite so it seems. He needs validition".
Clenching his hands on his lap, he sneaked a glance at him and suddenly, he kissed -him-. Here's your validition
Jeremy He breathed the scent of the other man, wrapping his arms around him.
Just as suddenly, he let go. Releasing both of them.
"It is getting late tonight, I suppose we should go". Acceptance. Raphel felt his heart skip a beat.
"Yes, it is rather cold."You didn't leave!
"Why not go to your room? I'm sure it's much warmer." Smirk. I'm not spineless, darling
"Pervert". Playfully, Raphel punched him.
Catching his arm, Jeremy spun him into an embrace, holding him. Warmth
"Hmnnn....The room is beginnning to sound better by the second." Raphel threw him a side grin.
"Why not?"
And then they left.
------------------------------------
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:31 p.m.]
Fuxxing hell, I can't find that damn fic! *curses* If anyone can find it I will absolutely adore you forever and garentee you an eternal place in my heart for sheer gratitude.
Now, help me find it!
It's a mulit-parted Toshi/Yoshiki/Hide fic that is at LEAST 6 chapters long and generally, Toshi with Yo-chan, dumps him for a chick but deep down loves him still and is jealous. Hide of course picks up darling Yochan and lovey dovey. Interesting of course, is that the author didn't say that Hide died of suicide but instead it was an accident.
Okay! Now help!
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:07 p.m.]
Listening to: Dir en Grey - Jessica (wavemix)
The wavemix rocks. Thanks~ to the kind person who sent it to me ^_________^ IT ACTUALLY HAS A TUNE! *shocked* And it sounds damn good. Like tequlia sunsets and Kyo swaggering about and Miami XD XD Tropicana!~
Went to the Kallang River to do Dragon Boating. Now, most rivers look really nice, clean and sparky. Unfortunately, Kallang river not only contains oil (bad), broken styrofoam (bad), plastic bits (bad) and MORE refuse which were mostly disintergrated (WORSE). I'm not good at coordination (which is why I'm not good at drumming *sighs*) and I kept on splashing water at Karen *gomen ne!* which was really salty and dirty. My class won! My team lost! *giggles* Was kinda funny cos we were split into 2 boats and my group was last but the other was first! LOL.
Joyce had a crush on the instructor. LOL. Called Amos and he was like this "little" guy and it was really funny cos it was not only ONE-SIDED but imaginary too!
Okay, I was being mean. I'm delusional too
So when we got back the water had dried and turned icky so I called my mom to come down and pass me a clean shirt. LOL. No wonder everyone in class thinks I'm a spoilt brat. Maybe cos I am. XD Had lunch and went to do rappelling.
Rappelling or absailing, was REALLY REALLY fun. I got to do it first! Everyone said I was brave but it wasn't really scary. LOL. Sheesh. It went something like this:
Guy: Are you ready now? Do you want to fall and die?
tsu: HURRY UP AND KILL ME DAMNIT!
Then he dropped me. Rather unscrupluously though. *hmph* I squealed really girly then started giggling and laughing all the way down, while bouncing on the walls and waving to whoever was on the corridoor. Next was the Flying Fox, or the Zipline. I was really lucky, cos I got to do it with the drizzle and one the first round XD XD. Auddy and I had a screaming match and I won~! Maybe cos she had a sore throat but anyway, it was fun!
What tsu said while screaming from 3rd floor to field
Y00OOOOSHIIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii~
Then we slacked around and waited for everyone else to finish. Fell asleep on the ledge then the Class Prez said it was really dangerous but I knew it wasn't and she was just scared *^&! Oh well, went on the floor and couldn't find anywhere as comfy as the ledge so I just hugged myself to sleep. And woke up just in time for tea! *haraeta yo!*
The last was the rope obstacales and it was pretty silly. Conversation goes as thus:
Guy: This rope represents the road to your future! You must say your name and tell everyone what you want to be when you grow up! Everyone must have a goal!
*Guy points to tsu*:You go first!
tsu: Okay~ I'm tsu! And I wanna be a Porn Rock Star!~
*jaw drop*
Know what the funniest thing was? THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVED ME! *LOL* Then later they asked me what I really wanted. Sheesh. I don't know. Kakyounin wants me to be a rockstar. My mom wants be to a doctor. My dad wants me to a lawyer. Kathleen wants me to be a fashion designer. Some of my other classmates and my brother wants me to be an artist. Iriru wants me to be a writer. My tuition teachers think I'm suited for business and finance. Amy wants me to be a photographer/journalist. Lis wants me to revamp the architecture industry.
Just how am I supposed to know?
*shrugs*
We didn't do much on the ropes and later went for wall climbing. I -LIKE- wall climbing. You don't need strength really, just flexibility. I was just kinda scared that my pants would tear but everything was okay. And I came in fastest! Yatta~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strange, cos I thought I really suck at sports. But this isn't really sport. More like adventure fun XD XD Hmnnn.....I did it within 30 secs so I'm kinda happy ^_____________^
I'm sorry I can't write cos my hand hurts and I'm pretty tired from dragon boating (which I absolutely hate) But I promise TOMORROW I WILL post it. I'm just too tired to think much.
love
a very tired tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 08:47 p.m.]
Listening to: Yoko Kanno - Valse de la Luna
Only when you listen to stuff like that then you start sprouting random french. LOL. Ahhh....kiddie days. LOL. Don't feel like writing, I'm just think-ish and sky dreamy.
Listening to all sorts of sappy-fied music. Stuff like Hoshi no Suna (where Gackt weeps over a mike) and Forever Love (YOSHIKI!) Lalala~~~ I just want a break. Camp wasn't fun at ALL! And the instructors HATED my class and me. WHAT AND @SS! *curses* The second part was equally boring, but at least it wasn't as lame or stupid. LAME. STUPID.
*goes to crack eggs*
Built some egg carrier thing to drop from 3 storeys.Our egg broke. But it was okay.
Except that it STUNK. *ughuuu*
Tomorrow is hopefully better, because I hate camp and I think it's a bloody waste of time when I could be spent ficcing and setting up my site.
Damn the bad timing.
Half of chap 7 is completed, please don't worry and yes, life will get more fun for them.
love
very tired tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:10 p.m.]
Listening to: Forever Love(Aucostic version) - X Japan
*waves flag* Yo minna~ I'm still alive! (amazing ain't it?) Although the amount of people who have threatened to kill me has increased somewhat since Day Six XD XD I'm glad everyone likes it. C & C is always welcome!
Went for mass //blergh >.
Hooooootttt....*fans self* horrible weather.
Funny dreams lately, it's like a premonition. I dream of conversations that have -never- happened and then a few days later, an excat duplicate comes out. What's wrong with me now? *considers* Prolly nothing, and it's not like they're important conversations anyways. *shrugs*
Tomorrow I have camp. Ughuuuuuu....FOR 3 FICKKIN DAYS! Be warned, I might get ranty...
Or whiny.
Whatever.
Love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:28 p.m.]
Listening to: Yoko Kanno - Diving (Earth Girl Arjuna)
----------------
In Ten Days'
Day 6
----------------
Day Six
Rhapel looked whimiscally at the menu. To be honest, he had never eaten Chinese food before.I wonder what this means....hmnnnnmm... He stared at the strange symbols, hoping for an answer. I sure hope Jeremy knows what he's ordering. Thoughtfully, he glanced at the boy - no, man sitting across him. Because I certainly don't
The restaurant was garishly decorated in red and gold, lit dimly with plastic lanterns which emitted a smoky glow, patrons around ornate lacquered tables with clicking chopsticks with shone whitely against the darkness as conversations dropped and continued and dropped again when the sizzling food came. Waitresses, all cald in gold patterned red cheongsams that left nothing to imagination as it hugged every curve and every line of their lithe figures. Yet it enclasped them in cloth, teasing and tantalizing with what they could see but could not have.
Jeremy seemed to know the place well, laughing and chatting with waitresses in a comfortable, flirtatious manner. He sprawled easily over the couch, red lights casting a purple highlight over his blue hair. The food was delicious, different from the usual chips. Exotic. Sometimes honey sweet, red slabs of charred meat glazed with caramel. Sometimes sour, thick soup with vinegar and beancurd. Sometimes mind-numbingly spicy, minced meat with fiery red sauce. Raphel savoured the new flavours, trying to ignore Jeremy's advances to the waitresses. I wish that he paid more attention to me instead. He sighed, chopsticks poised over the food.
"Hey, you're holding it all wrong."
"All wrong?" What is he talking about? He wondered if the smokey atmosphere had gotten into Jeremy's head.
"Here, you hold chopsticks like this."
Warm fingers wrapped gently round his cold ones, searing in heat. He could smell the scent of Jeremy's hair, of his clothes, of him. This warm, musky ginger fragrance. Spicy yet sweet. He could feel the heat of the body next to him, the breath hot against his neck, running up, exhaling out. The fingers twisted round the ivory sticks with an accuracy borne out of long practice, long fingers holding the slender chopsticks with delicacy and strength. "Can you do it?" Breath hot on the shell of his ear. Breathe He sternly told his hormones to call it off. Just breathe. He fumbled, unused to holding them, blushing and apologizing for his inadequacy. Jeremy just smiled kindly at him, offering to show it again.
Each touch felt like fire. Each breath was a hot caress on his neck. Every time, just as electric.
Raphel finally got the ryhtem, his chopsticks clicking with the tempo, fascinated with the simple fluid motion. Amazing. They finished dinner in silence. A quiet, shared silence, not one of awkwardness but more of familarity and contemplation.
"Wanna go for a drink after this? I know a good place." Jeremy said unexpectedly.
"Sure," Raphel agreed, not really hearing what Jeremy just said. Just agreeing.
~~~~~~~~~
Apparently, the bar seemed to be one of Jeremy's favourite haunts. A broken neon sign hung outside the bar, garbage strewn digustingly arcoss the alleyway, the smells of sizzling oil, alcholol and cheap perfume all rolled into one. Why does he do this to himself? Raphel wondered as he stepped into the bar. Why?
It was not as bad as he had expected. Plush red couches with plush velvet cushions and hangings, the lights were, as usual, dim and incandescent. Discreet waiters in black and white, while song girls and hostesses walked about giggling like schoolgirls in their sequinned numbers and make-up masks. All smiling He thought sadly, But are they really? He gazed again, distant and farseeing. I can't save all of them
But maybe I can save one
"Raphel?"
"Hmmnn?" He was still thinking about the hostesses. Red lips, white faces and all smiles. Trapped birds of paradise
"What would you like to drink?
"Huh?" He thought absent-mindedly. "I don't drink."
Incredulous laughter from his friend. Why is he like this today? His eyes bore a hole through the low glass table. He isn't usually like this. Is he?
"Two sakes please."
Raphel didn't hear him, glumy staring at the peanuts on the table. I wish we ate fish instead.
He barely heard the sound of the glasses clunking on the table, the sound of liquid poured into a tiny cup, swishing slowly.
Then he felt warm arms around him, tightening. A hand reached up to turn his face.
Lips pressed fiercely against his, first gentle, then more desperately. Unconciously, he opened his mouth and whimpered, feeling their bodies brush together. Liquid sake poured into his mouth, forcing him to swallow the kersosene tasting liquid. It burned down his throat, and dropping down. But it was nothing compared to the all consuming heat of Jeremy's hot hot mouth, searing over his lips. Just as suddenly, Jeremy released him.
"Kanpai."
A blush began to spread on Raphel's cheeks, tinting them a bright red rose. For heaven's sake! You're not a schoolgirl! He shook himself, and collecting his bearings.
"Would you like some more?" Heavy lidded eyes stared straight into him, lips still bruised from kissing, fingers twining round the small glass.
Behave like a man damnit! Raphel drew himself up, fighting not to blush. "I still don't like alcholol"
"Oh, really? Would you like to try something else instead?" Those eyes were still looking at him.
He mumbled something, trying to sink as far as possible into the red plush couch. This isn't real. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming.
"One tequila please."
He heard the clunk of a glass again, and refused to believe it was real. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. He shut his eyes blindly, trying to distance himself as far as possible from the situation. This isn't happening.
Suddenly, he felt a pair of warm hands again, opening the collar of his shirt. "Jeremy, wha-" A lemon was stuffed into his mouth. "Shussh now. Don't talk." Deftly, Jeremy sprinkled the salt over Raphel, noting the pale whitness of the skin. So much like a girl For the lack of a proper place, he balanced the glass on Raphel's collarbone.
Lick. Sip. Suck
In one smooth movement, he licked the trail of salt up the flat of his stomach, feeling the pluse quickening beneath the touch of his heated tongue. Still not done, he arched his neck, eyes smothering in darkness and crushed his lips to Raphel's.
"We're not su-su-supposed to do this", his voice dying into a breathy moan when Jeremy did something particulary wonderful with his fingers.
"Oh yes we are." Jeremy's voice gliding sensually around him, a dark velvet.
Ignoring Raphel's protestations, he slid his fingers underneath Raphel's shirt, feeling the soft skin, the thin frame and delicate ribs. Sliding higher, he felt the nipples harden into tiny pebbles as Raphel gasped and whimpered at his ministrations. He hovered over Raphel for a second, watching in mute fascination at how a single touch could make him moan, how a -he- could make him whimper and twist, eyes begging for more. Slowly, he bent down, gently pressing those lips with a delicate touch then pressing harder and harder, almost painfully pressing Raphel's head against the plush cushions, tongue probing the warm wet cavern of his mouth.
I can't do this! Raphel's thoughts swam as he felt long fingers stroking up and down his length, as his hips bucked in response. NO!
"We can't do this Jeremy...." His voice sounding husky and breathy even to his own ears.
Jeremy ignored him, nipping the pale skin of his neck.
Raphel's thoughts ran desperately as he held on to rational thought, trying to suppress the waves of pleasure when Jeremy's talented mouth latched on to his nipple.
"NO!" He shouted hoarsely, pushing Jeremy's head away.
Dark eyes hardened to anger. "Why not!?" Jeremy demanded, "I know you want me! Why !?"
Raphel shuddered, wrapping himself into a tight ball. "You're too young." He said softly, looking away. He sounded hollow even to himself.
"Young!?" Jeremy's eyes met his defiantly. Just as suddenly, he started laughing hysterically. "I get it now. You're just trying to justify yourself." Jeremy's eyes seem to look right through his soul. "You're so scared, so scared....Look at you!" His voice dropped to a whisper, "I thought I loved you." Raphel's eyes widened in shock, trying to tear themselves from Jeremy's face.
Timidly, he mumbled, "Can we go back now?"
Jeremy's eyes hardened. "Go back yourself. I don't mix with cockteasers, " he spat viciously.
Digging out his wallet, he pulled out the hundred dollar notes, throwing them in the air, a waterfall of fluttering green, falling, falling, falling.
Taking a step back, he threw one last glance of the shocked man before him. His whole body radiating waves of disgust and loathing. He turned his heel and walked out, not looking back.
/"Chicken'"/
And that was the last thing Raphel heard.
-------------------------------
Love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:03 p.m.]
Listening to: Vincent(Starry Starry Night) and Gackt- Vanilla (Night version)
Had a fairly wonderful day, went out with Alex for high tea! Talked nineteen to dozen and hopped around Holland Village till 3pm and ordered 2 Devonshire Teas, 1 scoop of -vanilla- icecream and 1 plate of wild mushrooms XD XD *squishes the mushrooms* There's a high chance that I gave her nightmares that night! *LOL*
BTW, Alex is my girly pal friend. And she's wonderfully straight. Don't get funny ideas.
Talked about our respective stories and discussed spoilers. Yay! Fic writers' convention, LOL. There's a high chance of a Jared/Jeremy backstory *hint hint november* So yeah, writers' that feel like trading and being evil. Yatta~~!!! *spins and twirls girlishly* So many plot ideas now. Especially the funky shop with perriot dolls. *shudders* EW!
Went home, didn't eat dinner, went to fic abit but screwed up a lot of scenes so I'm re-writing it. (It's so horrible I can't even imagine it). So there. Went to sleep and woke up at 9 cos peppermint tea always makes me feel sleepy...LOL.
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:50 p.m.]
o maybe you love me, maybe you don't, maybe you'll call me, maybe you won't
Listening to: The Underground- True Faith
When I was younger, I dreamt of fairytales and princesses. And Princes. My favourite story was strangely enough Hunchback of Notre Dame but that didn't deter me from thinking about Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.
Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.
Then I met leXis and everyone knows what happened next. I'm not whingeing or ranting, I'm just sad. Did my expectations run too high? Or was it a bloody infatuation? It seemed perfect, and generally still looks like it. But I'm brought up to look farseeing and I'm beginning to see cracks. Big cracks. And I'm not stupid. Really.
I'm not going to point fingers or fault anyone. If it's anyone's fault, it should be mine. Because I was so sure. Because I thought I was right. But it isn't. And this isn't my fairytale. I did the chasing anyways. *shrugs*
As a friendship, it's wonderful.
As a relationship? Well.......
She makes a fantastical friend, because she and I share alot of interests. I know I don't talk much about my relationships online, but well, I'm being quite balant because I think it's the best way. I've actually been thinking this for quite a while, mainly because of the niggling hints in our conversations, the laspes and sliences. And it's not a friendly laspe, more like a weird one.
I'm not thinking of breaking off, but how to fix?
I know the problem, but telling won't make a difference. Does it make a difference when I know everyone's weaknesses and strenghts in my family? Or their motivations? If I tell her what I know, would it make a difference? I notice small things, and from experience, when people do what they're told, they're not learning, they're following.
That begets the next question: If I don't tell her, am I leading her on? Because I know how it'll end? And at what emotional cost? I'm not the most emotionally or mentally stable of people. I rely on kyou for my sanity and even then, it's very very thin. I might not be the sanest person, but I know what's -real- and what's not. Anime, Jrock, cosplay....all this isn't real (which explains the amount of relationships that failed because of this.)
Mine isn't too bad, and it's fairly slavage-able (which I am grateful for). But I can't tell her. Because she has to learn it for herself....Because if I tell her, then she'll lose out in the end and everything will fall even faster. But if I don't tell her..........Will it slow down? Maybe. Currently it's a long drawn sort of thing. But which one is more viable? If I wanted to safegaurd myself, I'll break off. But I want it to work. I truly truly truly do. It's the closest I've ever gotten to the normal relationship that doesn't involve abuse or upmanship or pain or angst or any of the crap they romantized on anime but is actually CRAP.
Animes and jrock ain't real. People know that. Then why do they still behave like they don't?
Am I being silly? Am I overreacting? Possibly. But it's always better to err on the side of caution.
I need to decide. I need to think.
Ja~
[tsu dreamt of you at 11:27 p.m.]
Listening to: Last High - Duran Duran
----------------------------------
In Ten Days
Day Five
-----------------------------------
Day Five
Yesterday was strange..... Raphel picked up his pen thoughtfully, nibbling the ends. It was a habit that he couldn't seem to get rid off, no matter how hard he tried. He kissed me.... A dreamy smile lit up his face, he could remember how Jeremy spun around and curtsied and how he had accidentally caught him preening in front of a mirror, eyes like glazed and glassy as if....as if...as if he was.........desiring something. For heaven's sake, he looked lustful! Can't you even admit it to yourself? Unconciously, he shook his head, arguing with himself. He's only a child. Look. He's a -friend-, someone whom I met a few days ago. An image sprung into his mind. Skimpily dressed, heavy lips with a sheen of gloss and heavier eyes, smothering and lashed with mascara. A shock of peacock blue hair falling over those heated eyes and a voice, deep and darkly sensual for someone of that age. Offering......A child? The voiced mocked him in his mind, He probarbly has more experience than you do! He shook his head still, trying to clear his thoughts. He kissed me........ Still staring into space, he raised his hand, brushing it over his cheek, mimicking a phantom of a kiss. Kissed me.
"Heya, are you alright? Where are we going for dinner? I'm starving." Jeremy's voice breaking through his thoughts.
Jeremy was sitting on the bed, long legs clothed in simple jeans and the blue sweater which they bought yesterday, hair slightly toused with a pained look on his face. "I'm hungry.........." Jeremy wheedled, lips twisting to a credible pout.
"Errmmm...." Frowning, he thought quickly, "Somewhere by the river maybe?"
"Okay!" Jumping up, Jeremy went to the bathroom. "I'll change first, feeling kinda dirty with all this running about".
"Sure," Raphel said, flopping onto the bed, into the mass of blankets and pillows. I'm so tired lately....It won't be long before. Cutting the thought quickly, his thoughts returned to Jeremy. He's still a child after all
"Let's eat!" Jeremy stepped out of the bathroom. He was still dressed the same, but neater, tidier and fresher than before. He still looks so good....
"Sure."But even if he offers... Raphel glanced at his companion, trailing behind.
I won't take it up from him Raphel's hands clenched involuntarily on the doorknob.Because he means much more.
And closed the hotel door.
~ ~ ~
They had dinner at a quaint cafe by the Thames, calamari rings with tartar sauce, baked cod with roma tomatoes and portabello mushrooms. They made simple conversations of meaningless things, the weather, the world and inconsiderate people. The river glowed with multi-coloured lights, reflected from the busy walkways and cheery cafes, people strolling, enjoying the nightlife, irridiscent water ebbing and flowing, like music that would never stop. Couples holding hands and whispering sweet nothings to each other as they said love at the steps of the river and made love at the nooks of the shops. Ceaseless, ever flowing and beautiful.
How could a place as beautiful as this do such evil to her children?
Raphel gazed past the facade, seeing deizens wildly dancing to the inhuman beat of techno and estascy at discos, prosituites dressed and dolled up waiting for clients who passed them diseases and death, and goodness knows what more. Some even younger than Jeremy, sold for a penny by their parents, all marked for death and desituition. He could see gangsters threatening their families and friends with a wooden bat and sharp knives, not knowing that by just doing this, they had already twisted the heart of their parents and friends, who all loved them. He could see Goths, wandering aimlessly in streets, shouting radical statments, painted black nails and black lipstick, not knowing what they were saying, their lives all filled with pretense and angst, illusions of grandeur and finally, left with nothing on streets.
He closed his eyes, trying not to see. I did not want to see this.
Opening them, he spotted a ferris wheel. It's beautiful! Feeling childish suddenly, he tapped Jeremy on the shoulder, "Jeremy, what's that?" Jeremy looked up from his roma tomatoes, "Oh." Sallowing quickly he explained, "It's the ferris wheel they built for the arrival of the new millenium, the biggest ferris wheel in the world." Wiping his mouth with a paper napkin, he made a noise of disgust, "Tch. Useless though."
The biggest ferris wheel in the world
The sentance rang in his mind. Round and round, the words ran into his mind, spinning and blazing into a thousand lights, like fireworks at a carnival.
He felt like he was caught in a trance, not remembering that he paid, or how his feet traced their way down the riverside , sidestepping the throng of crowds or how he had tugged Jeremy's shirt insistently as he stared at the shining wheel in the sky.
He couldn't even remember queueing up or getting in. All he heard was the faint squeak of wheels, how Jeremy's warm body was pressed closely to his as they sat on the cold metallic car*. Then the wheel began to turn, churning and thrumming as they inched their way to the sky, he could barely hear the garish sound of the ferris, "dum de dum" behind him.
Jeremy's breathing was even and slow, he could hear it. Then suddenly, he spoke.
"Why did you want to go on the ferris wheel?" The voice was curious and gentle.
He's so warm Unconciously, he cuddled closer. "My mother loved them."
"Your mother?" A hand played with a few strands of his hair, the voice spoke again, but not intrusively, "What happened to her?"
I think I'm dreaming He could see the Thames snaking in slivery ribbons, dividing the city into halves. City? Was it really a city? It sparkled and glimmered in the dark, multicoloured kaleidoscope, twisting into patterns of neon lights and cars as they hooted and screamed their advertisements to the faceless crowds. Some going home where the families gave a warm golden glow. Some stayed to work, stranded in tall skyscrapers and lonely desks, peering into glaring flourescent. He could hear the millions below him, each with their own joys and miseries, each with walking aimlessly for answers or heading with determination and purpose to fufill their respective destinies.It's a jewel
Mother. He buried his head closer to the warm shoulder. "She brought me to the carnival when I was eight and let me ride on the ferris. It was like this." He pointed and opened his arms to the sky. "Then I went down. And she wasn't there . And never came back . And no one sat the ferris with me any more." Mother
He could still see her clearly in his minds' eye, her lauging face as they shared cotton candy. Her long brown hair, like his, smelling of the apple soap she used. Her pale pink cardigan and white dress as she held his hand and swung up and down the streets in joy.
Never saw her again He shook his head, trying to get rid of the sleepiness and the phantoms. The hand that played with his hair rested lightly on his shoulder, holding him close. Please don't go away Involunterily, he clutched Jeremy's shirt.
A hand soothed him and comforted. Raphel relaxed, staring at the lights. Dancing again. They seem to swim before his eyes, melding and weaving and molding and finally..........darkness.
Jeremy smiled softly at the sleeping man, brushing a few strands away from the peaceful face.
Bending down, he whispered softly into his ear.
"I won't leave you I promise."
~~~~~
He could feel a hand shaking him up, dragging him away from dreams of shimmering lights and cotton candy.
"Wake up Raphel." The hand shook him insistently. "Wake up sleepyhead."
"Huh?" He blinked into the night. Where am I?
"You fell asleep again." Sighing, Jeremy offered him a hand. "Come on, let's go back to the hotel"
They walked slowly back. It was late and the crowd has disappeared, tucked into warm arms and warm beds. Shadows drew themselves arcoss the cobbly paths, thin tall streetlamps, stood guard every few metres, illuminating the area with light.
I won't leave you I promise The words rang in his mind. Did I dream that? Did I imagine it? He stole a quick glance at Jeremy. He seemed no different, whistling a thin tune into the empty night. Maybe........
Mustering up his courage, he grabbed Jeremy's hand. To his surprise, they stayed together, holding and molding into his. Like sculptures Jeremy continued walking, as if nothing had happened.
Rhapel smiled softly, voice barely above a whisper, two words.
"Thank you"
That was the fifth day.
----------------------------------------
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 10:30 p.m.]
Listening to: Last High-Duran Duran, Ai no Tenshi-Cham
Bored, finished more of In Ten Days' and skipped school *sighs happily* Slept late, reeally late. All the way up to 12 noon, then I woke up. Ure~shi~~ So fun to sleep late.
Had some lunch and made the layout for my site but I still haven't figured how to make iframes. How to make iframes? Arragh...And when Mizu tried to send it over, it opened as a html file. Which means nothing showed up. SCREWY. *sighs* Oh well, at least I finished the layout.
It's quite boring now, nothing to study and even less to do. When I woke up, the first thing I thought of was hitting the books until I realized that the exams were over. Strange ne?
I keep on thinking back to Tuesday...I was so worried and anxious and everything crashed. Nervous breakdown I guess, was really really desperate cos I had studied so hard for the papers and then the teachers did not allow me to take the exam. Then I tried my best to wait and I waited 5 frikkin hours outside the General Office. At first I just told myself I would just wait. But after a while I became really desperate, because it seemed like all the Heads of Department (HOD) said it was too late for me to take the paper and many questions would have leaked by now. Then I broke down and Natz was kind enough to calm me down and everything and Auddy no matter how heartles she says she is, she was nice and brought me home. Thank you everyone.
In those 24 hours, I think I finally realize the privilege of having a chance to have an education and recognition.
I think everyone just takes it for granted. How we whine about having exams. How we complain the workload gets heavier and heavier. It was only then I found out I actually cared, and was desperate enough to -beg- to sit for exams.
Enough on that, Wednesday was TERRIFIC. Because I had the principal's permission //YAY!// and I was so happy I nearly cried. ^___________^ And now it's OVER!
Oh yeah, here's the next chapter for 10 Days. As promised.
---------------------------------------------------
In Ten Days
Day Four
----------------------------------------------------
Fourth day
Jeremy, as usual, had woken up first. His smile was tender as he looked at the sleeping man next to him. His dusky brown hair pooled in waves over the clean lavender scented white hotel sheets, catching light when glimspes of sunlight peered through the dark blue curtains, his small frame curled fetally round the blankets and pillows, light blue pinstripes and peach pale feet peeking from the coverlet. His face was pressed into the pillow, a sleepy smile of dreamy happiness as he burrowed deeper into it's comforting warmth, lashes throwing dusky shadows against his light cheeks.
Smiling, Jeremy tucked an edge in, covering the cold feet. He streched and got up, taking a easy stroll to the bathroom and a languid shower.
Why is he doing this? Picking a shampoo from the hotel collection, he rubbed it vigourously into his scalp. He could have gotten a proper guide and he definitely doesn't want me for sex. Grinning at the statement, he lathered his thick blue hair, trying to untangle as many of the ends as possible. And the rose? What does he want with me? Frowning he turned on the water jet, gasping is shock when the icy water hit him. Idiot Cursing, he turned on the hot water, relaxing when the warm water hit him, soothing his questions.
Maybe I like him
Switching off the water, he took a fresh towel and dried himself, rubbing away his sleepiness.
Maybe I don't
Picking up a toothbrush and toothpaste, he began to brush his teeth, enjoying how the minty flavour took away the sour morning breath.
But what I do know................
He rinsed his mouth, spitting out the water into the cream white basin.
Is that I care.
"Morning sleepyhead".
Raphel could only blink dazely in response.
They went shopping today, it was Raphel's idea. He had noticed how Jeremy seemed to be clothed inadequately most of the time and with winter setting in, "No way you're walking around in those clothes". Jeremy smiled slightly, remembering the skimpy outfit he wore on the first day. I wonder what he thought of that... Raphel had waved away all his protests in that dreamy mannner of his and had dragged them both of Harrods.
The man is question was currently rumaging through the cashmere sweaters, looking questionally at few while the enthusiatic salesperson loaded with with jackets, sweaters and shirts. Raphel was looking rather confused, he noted, but wouldn't anyone be in that kind of situation? Casually, he strolled over.
"Found anything?"
"Well, I'm not very good at this sort of thing...." He bite his lip, staring at the armful of clothes he was holding. "Why not try these and tell me what you think?"
Peering into the pile, he picked a few, brushing his hair away. Jeremy smiled at the action. It had fallen over his face. Again.
"Sure."
Dark emerald green was the first, a deep, intense green. It felt like wearing a cloak of forest or moss. "Not bad", Raphel said, staring absent mindedly. Jeremy pouted. He wasn't used to being ignored. sheesh, what is with him? Aren't I hot enough? Pouting some more, the twisted his hips, dropping his lids lustfully as he preened at the mirror.
A cough behind him.
Raphel.
"Why not try this one?" Raphel was trying not to blush. Sighing, he grabbed the poor sweater and swept off to the changing room. That guy doesn't need a tour guide, what he needs is a nanny Easily, he streched, pulling the green sweater and picked up the blue. It was a rather nice blue now that he thought about it, a electric blue, with a hint of a light blue tartan pattern. Subtle, but detailed. The material was soft and plush, warm and easy to wear. It fits like a blanket
"It looks great on you."
He twirled around, suprised to find Raphel behind him. "Here, let me help", gently, he adjusted the collar and dusted his shoulder. "Perfect". Jeremy smiled impishly as he tossed his electric blue hair, excuting a curtsy as Raphel turned a wonderful shade of beetroot red. He's so fun to tease....I wonder... Musing, he went back to change, allowing Raphel to pay.
He met Raphel back at the counter, smiling as he signed the receipt. "I hope you won't be shivering again, the weather is bound to be bitter in London" he said, offering the brown wrapped package to him.
"Thank you", he bent over just slightly, kissing Raphel on the cheek.
My gift for you
Would you like it?
That was the fourth day.
---------------------------------------
You'll get along great as a part of X-Japan! Who
cares what your other band members look like on
stage. You have the once in a lifetime
opportunity to drool over Yoshiki and hide
24/7!
Which J-rock Band Would Let You Join?
brought to you by Quizilla
you're kyo's safety pins!
what random jrock item are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Let me explain why I find this quiz waaay out funny XD It's not that I don't like Kyo (I just don't find him cute, spastic would be a better word) but because I have a mania for sticking safety pins onto my schoolbag XD XD SAFETY PINS!!!! *goes to but somemore from the school shops* YATTA~~
Hope you liked it~
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 08:48 p.m.]
Due to overwhelming response, and nice comments *nods to tag* Here's chapter 3.
---------------------------
In Ten Days
Day Three
-----------------------------
Day Three
Raphel woke up relaxed and warm, a thick warm blanket wrapped snugly around his slender form. "A,B,C,D...." He smiled softly to himself, recognizing the familiar sound of the voice. Jeremy had learnt well, and quickly. At any rate, he would be able to read and write soon. Yesterday night was perfect, would today be perfect too?
"Morning sleepyhead," Jeremy teased lightly. Raphel grinned in response. "Hey, you know the adya-adjactives?" Jeremy frowned as he tried to remember.
"Don't worry, I'll help you and later you can bring me to see some more sights today," Raphel said kindly. Dragging a chair, he sat next to Jeremy, "Now where were we........."
Jeremy yawned and Raphel could see his attention waning, "C'mon let's go out. It's getting kinda stuffy..." "Okay. I know! I'll bring you to SinClair's".*
The weather was getting colder and colder as winter was setting in. Yet, the park was absolutely beautiful still. Red-gold arches, tawny barks with rough edges, like wine melting on to trees. A gentle wind swept through their hair and fallen leaves, swirling in a mist of red and yellow, spiraling around them like dancing fairies. Sandstone yellow bricks pavements, growing with green moss and lichen . It made walking more difficult, but it seemed to increase the sheer beauty of the place. Raphel stared in amazement at the rose bushes, still blooming despite the onset of winter. Forgetting the cold for a second, he ran to them, cooing over them like a child. 'Hey Jeremy! Look! Roses! In winter!" He said with awe.
Jeremy grinned impishly as he hugged his tattered coat tighter round his small frame. "They're problarly the last of summer's roses", but Rhapel was not listening, dreaming about roses. Red red roses, redder heart's blood, bright yellow roses like sunshine spun gold, pale pink roses, like the blush of a bride, staining the white a delicate pink. White roses, colourless, beginnings and purity. Purity, purer than angels, purer than innocents...Like him..
"Raphel?" The question broke his thoughts.
"Ummnnn..." Dazely, he plucked the white rose and offered it to Jeremy, "It suits you." He said, with the simplicity or the idiosyncrasy of stating a fact. Dumbly he stared at his own hand, outstreched, offering a white rose. What am I thinking? I'm not supposed to be seducing him!. Before he could apologize profusely for his action, he found a another white hand reaching out, catching his cold hands in warm ones.
"Thank you."
They walked to the lake, a barely there tension hanging mutely in the air as both sat in silence, thinking furiously. What I am thinking? He's six years younger than me! And I wasn't trying to pick him up on that day, I should be a teacher! Idiot... Sliently, he adomished himself for his action. But when Jeremy had accepted the rose..........
"Hey, look at the swans!"
Turning, he gazed at the magnificant creatures, proud slender necks, white arches crafted lovingly with sinew, deep black eyes, red beaks. Traveling lower, wings of downy feathers, a perfection of simple beauty and aerodynamics. Man could never reach such heights with their garish planes and heavy mechanics. He stared in fascination as they gliding gracefully in the serene lake. A green mirror to their flawless beauty. Suddenly, they took flight, raising their huge, impossibly shining white wings. Sparkling crystalline droplets shimmering in their wake.
Then he noticed a movement at the corner of his eye.
Jeremy was shivering from cold.
"Jeremy, it's getting dark now, maybe we should head back"
Nodding his head is assent, he pulled his thin jacket tighter, clasping the rose to his chest.
That was the third day.
------------------------------
Enjoy~!
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 11:02 p.m.]
Gift story for everyone who has been kind enough to hear me rant and rave for the past few days.
To leXis, for your understanding
To Auddy, my chocolate partner
To Aya, my darling sister
To Alexiel, my rant buddy
To Mizumi, host, friend and more
To Natz, for your support on Tuesday *gomen I broke down*
To erieko, for your encouragement
To EVERYONE, I could not have done it without you.
------------------------------------------------
In Ten Days
Chapter One
-------------------------------------------------
Day One
He got off the train at the exit near Southampton street. Bags packed, lips red from cold, eyes shaded from the bright glaring lights of cars as they zoomed off in the darkness. It was already night. Brushing his dusty brown hair off his face, he picked up his notebook and duffel bag, he had to look for accomadations and it was getting darker and colder by the seconds.
But he had nowhere to go.
"Heya sweetheart you look like my type, wanna swing by a bar and have some honey?" A voice said from behind. It was a young boy, hair dyed garishly blue, lips sheened with gloss, eyes thick with liner and mascara, wearing what was the skimpiest outfit of PVC he had ever seen. This boy could not be over 17 or 16 he summerised. What were such children doing on the streets?
"Come here, I'll pay you twice if you'll stay with me for ten days,"he offered. It was the best he could do, and nothing more.
"Sure." Easily, the youth pocketed the money, "Where do we go now?" This guy was pretty strange, the youth thought. Maybe he's kinky. Laughing sliently to himself, he picked up the bags at the station and ran after the stranger.
"Hey mister! Wait for me!"
That was the end of the first night
--------------------------------
In Ten Days'
Day Two
---------------------------------
Day Two
He woke up fitfully with a start, feeling a pair of warm arms round his waist. It was the blue-haired youth from yesterday. Checking to see if he was still clothed, he smiled in relief. Nothing done. Gently, he disantangled himself and prepared a simple breakfast for both of them. He could not save everyone, but maybe he could save one.
"Uhhhhh...." So he woke up already, he smiled briefly. Like a ray of afternoon light in a dusky room.
"How do you feel? Would you like some breakfast?" He asked politely.
"Gee...Thanks sir. What's your name mister? We don't get men like you in London...Not usually anyway", he said, gulping down his orange juice and cereal like the child he was. No, the stranger regarded him carefully, there were no such things as children on streets. They were just thrust into the real world, too bleak, too quick.
"I'm Sewyn." Hesitating, he poffered a hand courteously. "Raphel Sewyn. But you can call me Raph, everyone does." Suddenly, he felt utterly ashamed of his action, quickly he placed his hand back into a brown trouser pocket.
That is if, the youth had not caught it.
"I go by the name of Pheonix," The blue haired boy said warily, " You can call me Jeremy or Jem if you like"
Suddenly, the tension eased. And they both tucked in to breakfast.
"What do you plan to do today? You definetly didn't want me for sex" Jeremy said, spoon digging into a second round of cornflakes.
Raphel broke out of his daydream, wondering if it was even polite conversation to talk of sex at the breakfast table. It seemed so...inapporiate somehow. "Uh....I don't know, see some sites maybe?" He didn't really know, and didn't really care either. He just wanted company and his daydreams of course.
Jeremy choked on his cereal. This guy paid him a cool hundred pounds a day to see tourist attractions? Hiding a smile, he said "I'll be a tourist guide then. C'mon let's get going."
It was a fairly clear day, sidewalks breezy with chic women at Harrods', children dresses is warm woolly frocks, grasping their mother's hands while cars rushed with zeal down the mix and mash of new tar and old brick roads, rushing for work, rushing to start the morning, like a kettle of boiling water meant for black coffee.
They walked aimlessly down the birch sidewalks, Raphel fumbling with his camera as he insisted to take every single tree in the boulevard. Bare empty trees, white and arching to the sky with it's paperthin bark and seeming delicacy. Like women dancing, Raphel had said. Jeremy shook his head, smiling. He was like a child in so many ways, and yet he was already an ancient twenty-five. Or seemed ancient, he amended. Especially with those old fashioned ways.
They had dinner down the river, watching the lights reflected on the surface of the murky water, a compaionable slience between them.
"They look like a sea of fire, or souls...", Jeremy said in awe.
Immediately he regretted his words. stupid fool
Raphel looked questioningly at him, and spoke softly,"Maybe you're right...So beautiful, shimmering on the water briefly, illuminating the depths, then like a flash, all is gone." Gazing into his half eaten plate of Fish and Chips, he suddenly thought of something.
"Hey Jeremy, do you know how to read?"
He shook his head.
"C'mon, I'll teach you tonight. Let's get back to the hotel soon. It's getting cold."
That night, Jeremy learned the alphabet.
When you were awake, I should have stayed and not wandered
That was the end of the second night.
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The rest will be up soon! This is a sort of test to see ^^^, just to make sure people like it.
Love and glomps
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 09:06 p.m.]
Testing....123...Hey! My papers are OVER!
Listening to: Yokan- Dir en Grey
'Kay, Okay....I know this layout is long overdue and that most of my entries have disappeared to NeverNeverland //;_; fragrance!// I'll have to rewrite some *but that's fine* what worries is that this might happen again and that WOULD suck. Alot.
Back to layout. Featuring Kakyou from Clamp X, everyone's favourite Angsty(tm) Bishie(tm) Yumenei(tm) //All trademarks of Clamp// Yes yes, I do note that the leaves actually look better in red but I was listening to Yokan and then it was Hey~ Then, Hey! Finally Heee~~eeeyyyy *evil smile* Fairly apporiate except that I didn't get the English translations of Yokan. Sad. But can do without.
Site is nearly up, once I get the frames fixed and rewrite the fragrance story *life sucks I know* as well as finish a Thank You story. OKAY! Have fun ~
Most Important thing: EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!
God loves everyone. XD
love
tsu
[tsu dreamt of you at 03:29 p.m.]
