Phuket/PhiPhi Island

'ello 'ello~ I'm in Phuket!! (internet cafe ^^ 2 baht/min)

Fun really, sat a boring flight which was cramped and uncomfortable and its only saving grace was that I had my discman on. Yay for Zomboid Reshiki mix! Tiger Airlines suck. Seriously. Anyhow. Had expensive and horrifyingly sugarly iced coffee at the airport, took a minibus to the jetty and sat on the ferry/boat to PhiPhi Islands.

Note: pronounced as "P" not "fee"

The boot ride was fantastical. Really really fantastical. I got a tan, slept on the deck and sprawled myself like the slacker I am and will always be (no matter how deep down) I snoozed on the railings, and when the seaspray became too heavy (aka getting wet) I shifted over to the middle to bask in the sun and sleep some more. Fantastical.

It was 3 hours but it was a GOOD 3 hours. I didn't even get a tan! That means the sunblock worked. Felt happy and salty (like a salt-encrusted chicken) and it stuck on my hair like hairgel (god I look like a lion) It's like getting drugged and drunk on sunshine. Checked into PP Princess (hotel) which was really cute and stuff then went for lunch.

Seaside makes me hungry. Had Tom Yam Kun and omelette (best I ever had) and steamed fish with vegatables. It tasted absolutely delicious. Hung around phiphi's main road (no name) and walked a bit. Lots of pretty stuff like shells and junk but most of all....THAI PANCAKE AND GELATO! I have no idea why, but there's apparently over 20 Italian restaurents here. Cultural invasion? Who knows? It tastes better than Venezia and Hagaan Daz and only costs 40 baht. Delicious. I had 3 rounds. Thai pancake is like roti prata stuffed with different kinds of things like bananna which drives my sister crazy with lust for one.

I think I'll grow fat in Thailand.

Walked around the beach, picked seashells, got a comission (a thousand sing$!) felt happy and lazy and half-drugged. It's just beautiful to be around here y'know? Beautiful. Rained. Ran back in and watched TV while I finished drawing and colouring stuff. You see, I forgot my camera but I did remember my sketchbook. So I drew everything I liked. Well, not everything but what I thought was cool.

Going island hopping and snorkelling tomorrow, I hope it'll be as fun. Strangely enough, dad is pretty okay (except that he's even more of a workaholic than I am, he's in the internet cafe checking STOCK MARKETS on his vaction)

Audy's in Bangkok and mom is coming home tomorrow.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:54 p.m.+

Eat Tako and be happy

Listening to: Inugami Circus

Indoctrinated by Auddy, not bad not bad at all...like Frou Frou on a wall ^^v Going to Phuket tomorrow, then Pippi Island. I'm not sure what to think. Firstly my dad doesn't know I bleached my hair. Secondly, I don't like him. Much. Thirdly it's going to be icky business.

Ah well. Can't be too pessimistic.

Writing a letter to mom, since she's going to be back a day after me and I really want to talk to her. I'm all for transparency, you know? I cannot stand unsolved problems, it just irks me. Don't really know what to think about tomorrow, don't really WANT to think about tomorrow.

Went to Taka with Audy, felt nice. Like, after-school kind of thing even though we're offically out of school. Went to Kino and read books ^^ I swear I'll be a boring date because all I'll do is hang around and read and read and read. Which is prolly why I'll get along with Shinya and spit at Die. I swear I don't like him. And I don't trust Kyo either.

Astrology darling, astrology.

Had cheap sushi, hot ripper and milk for lunch. Read Tim Burton's Melanchonly Death of the Oyster Boy. It's a strangely unsettling book. First you think it's funny, but it's actually quite macabre and dark. It's not funny at all. In fact, it's kind sad. It's like seeing a chicken run headless with blood spurting out and flapping it's wings. Funny, but actually.......

I get it anyhow. Cruel.

Glomped Audy (which was the main purpose anyway) and glomped her somemore. Sometimes I think I could sit forever in a bus, just watching out from the window and an arm next to mine. Squashed comfortably with a bag on my lap and just....existing. Just -there-. It's so lovely.

Eat tako and be happy!

Well I packed my bag, checked my passport and good to go. I don't know what to think of tomorrow's trip. Maybe I should give him a chance. I don't know. He hasn't done anything for me, and I haven't done anything for him either. Like the way you can trace your body to your ancestors without knowing their names. I feel the same way. Tied by genetics. Other than that, nothing. No emotion. No strange consequences. Just a backload of resentment and hidden hurt. For him, I don't know. He's too interested in running his business to care for his wife, much less his ex-wife.

Am I being fair?

I should be fair.

I'll give him one chance. That's it. The rest you earn.

After all, I hope one day someone will give me a second chance.

Who knows?

I almost thought - or maybe I did, hear Kakyounin's voice today. Was it my imagination? I don't know. Perhaps it's better if I stop being so caught up with what doesn't exist (or does it?), stop thinking of multiple scenerios, stop dreaming of what could have been, what ifs.

I think it's cos I remember things too well. When you remember, you can forgive but you won't- can't forget. I can remember every single thing. Every Single Thing. And you wonder why I get tied up in non-existential past so often.

Second chances....

Who knows?

Tomorrow I'll find out.

PS. Will be back on the 12th Dec.

PPS. Audy take care on your trip too, I luff you.

love especially to you
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:51 p.m.+

Issa

Listening to: Reshiki

Judith's Party

Okay. I drank coke + vodka, talked to PSC scholar-wannabes, elist types, stoned at the corner of the bed, and talked to even more air kissers. Whatever man. I came for the alcohol. They liked me at least. Like an new and interesting breed of species these intellectual snobs had never seen before. I can almost see them poking me with a rod going, "How exciting."

Now/Thinking

I feel like stabbing something.

I don't know how to explain this to anyone, not even Audy because it's so infinitely complex and also because she has never had any experience in this. Yea. That sums it. She can't understand because it's beyond her.

Okay. I try.

I love my mom, I really do. I mean I love her and I can still remember things - like scones with fresh cream, dresses made of green gingham cotton, the scent of chanel no.5 I was really close to her, really really close. I knew the times when my mother felt heartsick and cried when she thought no one was looking, I knew the time she came home drunk and tired, I knew the time when someone was interested in her but didn't cos she had 3 kids. I shouldn't have known really, bad for children. You grow up slightly psychotic.

It's a bit like the relationship I have with my sister, my sister takes or at least, tries to that she totally forgets that I'm actually old enough, and intelligent enough to take care of myself. And that despite her seeming maturity, she's just a child.

That's it with my mother.
I take care of her so often that sometimes I forget that I'm a child and none the wiser.

And that's when the problem starts...

You see when you learn from other cultures, say Jrock or Western influences, you sort of absorb their culture and the shit that comes with it. You change. And then you think YOU KNOW BETTER. Yeah. That's the shitty part. But you're not really, you just think you are, you think your mother is a narrowminded person who allows you no freedom who is the arse and the toilet paper of the century because SHE WON'T CHANGE.

And then there's this phrase: I'm different! You don't understand!

I just think, that maybe...I didn't try to understand my mother either.

It's my fault too.

We overlooked each other, too familar, too contemptible, quarrelling over petty trivialities with no consideration. Then in the silence of the night, we stare and the ceiling and wonder what went wrong? What did go wrong? What the fuck happened? What happened to us?

And then the day starts again, she reads her papers, I sit at the computer and nothing gets absolved.

So when did we stop loving each other?

And then yesterday night, after 3 rounds of vodka-coke, mildly buzzed and insomaniacal, thinking in circles and loops and loopholes and dancing at the edges of my mind..

I didn't try to understand her either.

My education, my learning....did I learn anything? No. Maybe. But this multi-mix of learning and other's thoughts, of Japanese manga and Western opinions, I've forgotten that yeah, what I really am. I was judging my mother through this foreign patina of things that I thought was right, that I thought I knew and I was being as narrowminded as I accused her of.

I judged her by someone else's standards.
Not her own.
And when I saw her through her own self, I realized that she loved me.

Her nagging was a way of whispering endearments, food in exchange for love...I was just so wrong. So blind. How dumb and blind. I was a stranger to her as she was a stranger to me. She wondered where her daughter had gone, I wondered where my mother had gone. We saw through broken lenses, and hurt each other with sharp words.

And here I was dreaming and seeing and far-seeing, when all I ever wanted was right next to me. Of a pair of arms round me hugging me and telling me everything was alright....I looked everywhere I asked everyone I searched and searched outside, never thinking, never stopping fully until I realized that my mother was waiting for me. What was I thinking? Finding a stranger...What was I doing? Maybe all this confusion was because I could never really find myself, or be myself because I never accepted her as part of myself.

There's a cantonese saying, you know, about how I am a reflection of your eyes which are my eyes.

I didn't realize it until early this morning, I was up thinking till 5am++ And then I went to the washroom and suddenly looked up into the mirror, and thought: "Hey I have my mother's eyes." Then I realized that my brother and my sister had the same eyes as I did, and we were all apart and a part of each other. It's like a blinding epiphany.

Like the way my sister has inherited her worrying nature, reflected in her eyes. Like the way my brother has inherited her moodiness and temprementalness, blowing hot and cold and hot again, stormy shifting eyes. Like the way I've inherited her clearsightness but without sense. She gets cheated by a bad man (aka Dad) despite her knowing and deserving better, I get cheated for prices of goods even though I know the salesperson is a liar.

So yeah.
After all, I'm my mother's daughter.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 08:55 p.m.+

shizukana hibi no kaidan wo

Listening to: Dragon Ash + Pierrot

Do you ever get that bouncy feeling of excitement before you dress up for a party? I do ^^ Going to Judith's Pimpin' Christmas party tonight, complete with bling bling and clothes borrowed from my brother. He's just the right size desu ne, so it gives the clothes the right amount of baggy-ness. Like those weird R&B-ers they show on MTV. ^___________^

Oh yeah, I have Kyo-poof XD I figured out how he did it, it's layering then spraying underneath the root. And I have a matching blue cap too!!!! <3 <3 Ahaahaha so fun

Anyhow, I'll be back by 11pm. I don't know how much air-kissing and high flautin' I can take anyway, I'm not that type. *sighs* I do hope Sharon comes, if not I'll be semi-reclusive and stick close to alcohol bar. Yayz. I like alcohol.

Pity Audy doesn't want to come *sighs* Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a bloody fanfic. Or something. Like those Toshiya x Shinya pairings that Totchi goes off partying everynight while Shinya sulks and hangs out with his dog or something. LOL. No way! Well, whatever.

I'll rather someone I could trust came along, so I don't get too high. Issa bad thing

Slacked the whole of the day and watched Mindless TV. It's like a hobby that my sis and I are cultivating. Avid TV Watching. We'll watch TV from like 10am to 6pm and sprawl on every avaliable surface while munching on junk food. Woohoo! Unhealthy living!

My skeleton is smiling too~ My skelly is smiley!

I actually should bring something to the party but arghh! I dont't know what to get as a guest. It's not like a date so I don't bring flowers. Bringing wine is too ghey. Chocolates are fine except that Sak, Sis and I just finished the last of the pralines. *grouses* Argh. I'll think of something. Yeah.

I wish Audy was online.........

Haven't seen her for a long time and I'm going to Phuket soon and I really want to see her. I'll be away from 8th to the 12th of dec, so don't mind me okay? Unless I find a internet cafe on the beach ^^v I need a tan anyway, everyone says that I look unhealthy cos I have pale hair and paler skin. LOL. Suppose the effect is kinda creepy.

My mom is away in Vietnam too, so it's kinda lonely but okay around. I'm happy with anything. I just hope that we won't resort to Jack Daniels.

I'm thinking of making fireworks for Christmas, anyone interested? If no then...ah well ^^ No fun to do it alone anyway. And I've decided not to make ricin either. Dunno why, maybe age is beginning to mellow me. Either that or....I don't know. I don't plan to be an assasin anyway. And ricin......

Sometimes I feel....strange. Like wind. You can't see it but you can feel it calling everywhere. I don't feel like I've grown any older. I don't feel any wiser either. Like bells. I can't seem to explain anything properly these days. I'm just...happy-ish I can't believe I'm here kind of happy.

I wish I could see Audy.

*sighs* It's not sap or anything. I just want to talk to her. It's like we've been so busy lately that we haven't said much. My SAT then she had some BBQ and then blah blah blah. ARGH.

Even neko is busy T___T

love smiley skeleton
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 05:38 p.m.+

Random digression

You know those freaky weird Dir en grey Shinya-abuse fics? Like those that dunnoo...they make Kao/Die/Anyone else seem evil, beat up Shinya and make him into some sort of slave thing?

*shakes head*
I just can't get round imagining it.

Yah I know zillions of people who stay in abusive relationship s and stuff, but Shinya isn't one of them. Sure he's skinny as a stick (or stick-ier than a stick) but he sure as hell won't stay in an abusive relationship. God, even I won't. And I cut lots of slack for the people I like already. So there's no frikkin way in hell for that to happen.

It gets even funnier when it's like Kao/Die abusing Shinya. *rankles at the illogic* If Kao/Die really abused Shinya, would he stay in the band? How -could- they? Firstly he'll be too emotionally unstable to perform, secondly, don't you think the fans (God so many) would notice? His behaviour is pretty obvious. If like, Kao/Die REALLY abused Shinya, you'll be able to tell, emotional cueing/unconcious body language and stuff, so how in the world will they be able to abuse Shinya?

Then another thing I don't get is how people can simply FIND the energy to HAVE SEX even on TOUR. It's tiring and exhausting and somehow they manage a backstage romp. *disbelief* It's insane!

I mean during the performance itself you get a shot of high, but the elation slowly dwindles in time. So it's PHYSICALLY impossible y'know (unless they drink red bull)

And with the amount of cigarettes they consume a day, I'm not suprised if all Jrockers suffer from erectile dysfunction.

lol, so random.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:57 p.m.+

SAT <---- ARRGHHHHHHHH

Listening to: Platform

I am pissed at ACJC.
Very very very pissed.
Ain't often that I'm pissed enough to seriously consider setting the school on a firework-arsonist style KABOOM.

The exam was supposed to start at 8am but BECAUSE THEY TOOK SO F*CKIN' LONG it started at 9.30am! That's just incompetence and ineffiency okay? The other school, St Francis didn't have all the crap on table arrangements, queueing (what IS it with Singaporeans?!) and more queueing, then waiting and waiting and waiting. Then you couldn't park in the school, so you had to walk all the way up the hill to park. I'll understand if they couldn't accomadate or anything, or it it was a small parking lot. BUT IT WAS THIS HUGE EMPTY MULTI-STORY PARKING.

*hate ac hate ac hate ac* mumblehfjkage

The paper itself is 3 hours long and the dumbest STUPIDEST exam paper ever. Seriously folks, it doesn't test for mental agility or intelligence, it tests your bloody f*ckin' -ENDURANCE-. First they teach you to SHADE AN OVAL and PRINT YOUR NAME. Then they give you dumb instructions like, "Please start on question 1 of the first section. If you finish the section before the 30mins, you are not allowed to do other sections.

Like, dumb right?

Questions itself were inane. Like "freedom is to bondage as...?"

1. defend is to protect
2. exercabate is to situation
3. happy is to sad
4. Biota is to biologist

Then Math, if a*b = 2a + b what is 7*2?

I tell you it didn't test how intelligent I was, it tested my endurance for sitting 3 HOURS! on a frikkin chair and my patience to actually do a paper as stupid as this one.

ARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STUPID SAT

It's not even an interesting exam, if it was, I wouldn't have minded so much.

Pissed is to Tsu as..?

1. SAT is to devils
2. ACJC is to devils
3. Inane is to devils
4.All of the above.

tsu

+tsu waited for you at 06:01 p.m.+

Reshiki [breaking of the Zomboid]

Listening to: Zomboid remix + Platform

Slacker day. Slack slack slack, eat eat eat. Sak came over again, honestly she's like an honourable member of the family already cos she comes over so often. ^^ Even my mom calls her "Sak" not her real name. LOL. We ate soooooooo much. Pralines, chocolate, waffles, noodles, yam cake, fudgemint oreo cookies, iced tea, etc etc.

We pigged on the sofa watching Discovery Travel and some dumb hilarious show called Big Shot's Funeral

Ahahahaha so fun but so lazy

I'm addicted to the Kai remixes, because I'm crazy and they almost sound better than the original. Almost. It's good. Really really really good.

-------LIST (only if you're really desperate)-----------

I honestly hate making lists, but because people complain that I'm a hard person to buy for, and I hate antagnoizing well meaning people...*sighs* Here's the list:

1. Kinokuniya book vouchers/cash
2. Miniskirts ie. Zara/Isetan vouchers.
3. Camera film
4. Yen$$ for my Trip to Japan
5. Lonely Planet/Travel guidebooks
6. Dir en Grey Kai remix album
7. T-shirts. Big large, comfy sizes.
8. kinky, vintage antique silver belt
9. Anything from Electic Attic
10. Shinji Matsuo violet hair dye
11. Cookbooks ie.Nigella Lawson, Della Smith
12. Dir en Grey stuff from Lavender no Heya
13. Jrock accessories ie. Aya Workshop, MiseXclusive etc
14. Drawing pens; leaky is okay, stratchy is not.
15. Really Expensive Chocolates ie Xavier, Godiva, etc
16. Book of Toxicology 8th Edition, 2004
17. Art Nouveau books
18. Tom Ford's Design collection book.
19. Auddy
20. Kaoru with handcuffs ^^v

---------------END LIST------------------

More Dir en Grey hilarity:
Saku Foreword

Remember to LAUGH LOUDLY.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:30 p.m.+

Yellowish-green purple [colour of octarine]

Listening to: Plastic Tree (platform) + DEG- irresistable mix

I'm just happy that christmas is coming.

Like the floating puddle of oil on the streets, the colours of a dangerously flammable irridescent rainbow that relfects the sky moving clouds moving, the odd sound of a motorbike and bohemian patterns of the world, like ink splattered drawings - no, tattoos of people and things and the blue of pink, the pink of blue, like sliverings. The nuts and bolts of shiny screws, glittering and greasy, the feel of wind in your hair, green grass growing to lime then yellow, aqua shades of waiting people, from the iciest shade of blue to the darkest shade of magenta. Lime.

*strangely happy-pain*

Reminds me of moonlight and piano keys, of open windows and openfaced floors and the steps of twirling waltzing shadow dancers; a bent of a knee, a curtesy and 1,2,3...1,2,3. The flicker of dim light from a distant chandelier, the ghostly laughter of forgetten-but-not-truly, soft soft softly falling snow. A touch of memorary, a sparkling thought, like a snowflake, pure and fragile that knifes through from distance into into...a pale beautiful azure of falling snow, the lone voice of the wind echoes, whispers for the lost and lonely and lovesick, especially for you.

That's what it sounds like, you know?

I can't describe it any better. So sorry.

It's like trying to catch sunlight, but you can only glimspe the shadow of it. Words. Letters. Useless.

Okayish day. Woke up terrifically late because I slept terrifically late. Had lunch, then Audy came and pinched meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! T_____T Well, anyway, my comp now has more files ^^ Mooched around, made her eat watermelon curry and praline chocolates and GOT PINCHED FOR IT! Looked through my comp, traumatized half the people on my msn list (so sorry people) Good thing I cleaned my comp before she came, all my files in perfect alphabetical order and neatness. Isn't it amazing?

Lareina came, gave her the present (yay she liked it!), and I think it suits her very well. It's black and dark and pretty warm I should think. And it looks cool!! *yesh now you know why I chose it* xD xD Anyhow she was very nice and polite and her hair looked really cool with all the extensions and she was polite enough NOT TO LAUGH even though Audy was being disgusting and trying to pull my pants.

-_________________-;;;;;;;;;;

Sometimes I worry for my sanity.

Went swimming with sis, finished all the curry which tasted fantastical as usual and I really want a book to have supper with tonight. Yesh! Supper food....^^ Ice-cream with Milo powder too....and maybe I'll throw in a cheese omelette.

Oh god I'm such a pig.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:48 p.m.+

stolen //quizzes

Listening to: New Order- Crystal

Stolen from Phiryn. ^^

I AM 58% INTERNET ADDICT! I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer! Take the INTERNET ADDICT test at Fuali.com

I AM 46% GOTH! Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat. Take the GOTH test at Fuali.com

+tsu waited for you at 08:09 p.m.+

Bottom side and yes is that bacon?

Listening to: Bottom of Death Valley - deg

I love curry.
Had platefuls of it, yummy yummy curry yummy.
I love my sister's curry.
Like poetry y'know:
Yellow curry, mellow in heat
Gentle in taste, made of Indian paste
How I love the deliciousness of it
Cumin, tamerind and masala spice
All come together and make it all nice!

tsu = curry fiend

Actually my fave version of curry is watermelon curry!! It's like absolutely delicious with warm potato starchy curry with fresh cold crispy crunchy yellow watermelon. It's almost like a salad, cos it's sweet and cold and spicy and warm, but it tastes nice with rice too or with chicken and stuff.

Anyhow, woke up early and went to meet Audy and deliver stuff to Bunka Japanese school. Then headed down to Orchard Mrt to meet her, got lost in Wheelock for the first time, finally found the shop in Taka and watched the Incredibles at Cineleisure and went to Taka and finished Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential.

The Incredibles was really good, the animation + soundtrack was fantastically complementry, the whole James-Bond action music combined with stunning graphics, so detailed that I could make out the -texture- of the sofa (tweed). Fantasical. I love Edma, she's so funny with her pretentious French accent and high-flautin' gestures.

*laughs* really wonderful, despite the darkness of the theme.

Ignoring the candy coloured graphics, the bright colours and the glory of the animation, and you actually have a stalker-esque story combined with societial evils. The first part can be clearly seen with the story of Buddy, how his misguided sense of self, as well as disillusionment/idolatry. It's an odd combination, 'cos you get a psychopath at one moment, and fanboy FOR the hero on the next second. It's like, "Ahahahaha I'm gonna KILL you bu that's cause I think you're SO COOL!"

The next is due to the mistreatment of heros, and general idolatry. How breaucracy can actually destory the good in ourselves, by overemphasizing small faults and trivializing the importance of intergrity and goodness. It's a powerful statement really.

Kitchen Confidential/A Cooks' Tour both by Anthony Bourdain. It's a hell funny book, and I laughed till my sides ached. LOL. It's hilarious!

Anyhow, stuff to do tomorrow. Look for the damn guy, look at the positions avalible at Haagan Daz, go swimming with sis and give Lareina's present.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:12 p.m.+

CLEAN CLEAN TABLE!

Listening to: Kisou album

Woke up, and cleaned my table spick and span. Literally. I just took everything and threw it into a big big rubbish bag. Then I tossed all my metal stuff into the sink, added ethanoic acid (that's vinegar) and mouthwash (chloride oxidizer) and soaked it until all the rust oxidized. Then I dumped all my ribbons into a bucket of water + mouthwash and left it to clean itself. Yay~ good thing for chemistry.

Then I washed everything and dumped everything and OMFG I FOUND AN ANTS' NEST! *gasps* AHHHHHH!!!!!! AIYEEE! *runs off* Anyhow! My table is now spick and span and I'm $50 richer xD xD So I can spend my cash tmr with Audy and watch some creepy movie with her. Her choice, not mine. You know I'm a scaredy cat and all.......

Watched Anthony Bourdain, wonderful guy he is. Makes me laugh my arse off and get hungry so I made stuffed prata which is seriously unhealthy but hell deliciou (like all good food should be) damn, you know? It's just SO GOOD. Yum yum *drools*

Going to buy Lareina's present tomorrow, and watch a movie. Talked to Eirivan, who gave me some pointers about Japan. Like, it isn't safe AT ALL. It's scary and Shinjuku has yakuza, guys looking for prositutites, various unsavoury types and a very very red light district which I should stay away AT ALL COSTS even in daylight cos I could pass off as jailbait lolitcon. Scary huh? It's so bad that they have seperate trains for males/females because of gropers and molesters. Plus she's gonna help me get the addresses of CD shops and [a knot] contacts.

Funnily enough, she agrees that Dir en Grey won't last either, she gave them even lesser years and she a huge huger fangirl (as in multiple concert/fly from aust types). *sweatpour* Am I prophetic or what?

It's freaky how accurate I am.

*thinks* Or actually not, I'm just observant I guess. Very very.

Anyway, need to go and fix some stuff.

love hugs kisses and HOT SEX!
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:02 a.m.+

Disgruntled.

Listening to: S and gun-happy DeG songs.

I'm disgruntled.

I can't say why because it sounds unfilial and stuff and I can understand it logically, but it still irks. I'm seriously seriously annoyed. Annoyed enough to take a jackhammer on my mom. Yes people, my mother! *exasperated* Honestly I wish I could say I couldn't give a damn but since she loves me I care for her out a duty. Yes. A duty. My bloody fucking resposnibility I don't want.

I seriously am starting to dislike my relatives.

All of them.

Anyhow I put my anger to good use (finally! productivity!) so I finished Real Folk Blues' II

Chapter II

*grouses*
Damn damn damn damn...

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:18 p.m.+

Sap + a couple of observations

Listening to: Umbrella + something heavy rock

Two days' worth of pop music has the effect of making me want to grab the nearest indies' jrock band and plugging it on winamp. Why have I been listening to pop? Because I've been partying. HARD. Actually the first round was wilder than the second, in which the first round I was wilder because Audy wasn't around and so I felt less guilty dirty dancing with people. Okay. Don't say anything about that *not that I'll say anyway* It's almost soft porn. Anyhow, the second round of partying *at Sharon's* was more decent because she had her relatives sitting around, and also cause Audy was there.

I feel better with Audy around anyway, I don't really want to be wild. I just get inerbriated so much that I sort of become whatever the crowd wants me to be.

I mean, like the next day you just feel kinda dirty.

Well I learnt a couple of things. One = People like me *amazing!* Two= People think I'm cute Three= People think I can dance *I can?* I actually don't really know how to dance, I just move to the beat and follow what the other person is doing; sort of like fighting. Anyone who can fight can dance, because dancing is a lot a lot like fighting. A parry, a thrust. Same concept.

And then I realize little itsy bitsy habits about people. Like Sharon has a real rhythem for dancing, and it shows cos she can sing too. And it shows that she has enough self-confidence, and less inhabitation to dance. Then there's Kim and Judith, whose dancing is pretty much alike. It's like dancing show that you can show off how cool you are, you know? That kind. That oh-I-club-and-dance sort of thing. Audy doesn't dance in front of people, which I understand (but doesn't stop me from trying!!!!) but it shows too.

*thoughtful*

Even though I danced with lots of people, zillions actually both today and yesterday I think I liked dancing with Audy best. So okay she isn't the wildest on the floor, nor does she execute cool moves like Sharon. She doesn't swing her butt or do anything strange but in the end, I like dancing with her best. It's a nice feeling you know? Dancing with someone you like. It beats everything.

I know she didn't like it, but the fact that she tried made me happy already. You see? Everything with a difference.

Let's see, today woke up late and happy then at 4pm went to see Audy but she didn't want to come so I went to Cafe Rosso on my own but they weren't taking anymore people so ah well... Then I went to Sharon's house to help out in the party. I was unfashionably early, by 2 hrs so I decided to help out. Did her makeup, helped maked fishball stuff then Audy decided to come! Yay! *glomps* Thank you so much.

Party went well and the food was crazy spicy T___T I think I nearly cried from the spice. But the curry rocked, and the mutton curry was fantastical but super duper spicy. *sighs* But after 3 rounds of drinks I managed to finish all of it *God I'm such a pig*

Then the party got on with the dancing which was hell fun and got invited to Judith's Pimp it Christmas party next week. Yes yes, wild child party syndrome. Does it matter? No. I like partying I think, I just hope to stay sane that's all (That's why I have Audy!)

Strangely enough I don't feel jealous about Caryn, despite what she thinks. I just want her to be happy so it really doesn't matter who is it with, you get it? And if Caryn keeps her company while I'm chatting up with everyone in the party I'm glad so she doesn't feel lonely or left out. ^^ Strange, but true.

Anyhow, it's late already *gtg gtg gtg*

PS. I love you too

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:26 p.m.+

more about...what?

Listening to: Call me call me/Real Folk Blues'

It's now offically known as the Kaoru song. I mean, perfect Kao-ness. Firstly it's an American name sung in Japanese (much like the way he stuffs the Big Mac in his face) Next, it's generally like his style of composing. It's easy to tell if Kaoru wrote it because he's kinda traditional in the sense that he plays adds alot of guitar, but manages to keep it from overpowering. Also, he writes in the verse/bridge/chorus/verse way. And this particular song has the swankiest- I mean, SWANKIEST solo that is so surprising that it's cool.

Plus it sounds really Kaoru-ish

The fact that I happen to know is because...*drumroll* Real Folk Blues' chapter 2 is nearly done! Hand in pants! w00t!

Wrapped Sharon's present for tomorrow, which is both sexy and sexsay. What's the difference? The 'S' in it. The 'S'...xD Yeah we bought her lingerie, the really trashy and tacky kind. Auddy bought her a thong with the words: "It won't lick itself you know" which is snazzy pink and black with ribbons at the sides. My choice was a pinky one with "Miss World" emblazoned on and pink fluffballs at the sides. FLUFFBALLS! <3 <3 Kinda sweet and cute I think.

ehh...so gtg.
finish up the rest of fic and figure out where sharon lives.
>_________< I can't remember what time to go!

love especially j00 *glomp glomp*
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:43 p.m.+

Job hunting + Greater good of late nights

Listening to: Miachellvism + Taiyou no Ao

First,

+tsu waited for you at 05:57 p.m.+

Purple purple purple....ack! Blonde?!?!?

Listening to: Taiyou no Ao

I bleached my hair today! Whoohoo!
Was so very very fun
Finished school roughly at 10.50-ish
Then went to Auddy's place to dye hair.

One word: GLOOP
Seriously, it's gloopy and gunky and oh so smelly.
Hydrogen peroxide and Ammonium persulfate you see.
Stinky stuff.

So we glooped and glopped on each other's hair! Ahahaha so fun! And we sat around and drank raspberry 7-up and watched Vulgarism and wondered what kind of hair products did Dir en Grey use or how many hair stylists did Kyo kill due to the toxic fumes. Honestly, the stuff stinks. REALLY REALLY STINKS. Gloopy glopping glooop ahahahah~ fun fun fun

Like an afternoon of summery smiley happy things of bleached blonde and sunlight and windy days

So happy~ shiwase~

Had big Mac and opened my mouth to chomp it like Kaoru!
Note/Trick:Blow drying your hair after bleaching makes the colour brighter.

Anyhow Audy now looks like Kaoru! As in the brown-haired Kaokao one with his cute frameless glasses that makes me want to glomp her! And I did her streaks nicely (I rock!) XD XD XD *gloop gloop!* Ahahaha so genki even though I got the wrong colour.

I bleached and bleached and bleached and finally got.....*drumroll*
KYO DUMB BLONDE!

errgh! ACKKK! MY PURPLE! *cries*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I BELONG TO KAORU-SAMA ONLY!

*frantically dyes hair to purple*

ahahah

Love and peroxide!
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:38 p.m.+

+tsu waited for you at +

Kaoru desu domo hai...repeat! Kaoru desu domo hai!

Listening to: Kaoru the poke-puppet-head

Looooooong day..
Science MCQ was okay, I finished it 30mins before the bell, which means I did 40 questions in 30 mins. First 10 mins, I checked until I get bored, then I slept.

*snooze*

Chinese listening from equally boring, in which I also slept, and talked to Gloria too. Ahahaha...recommended a couple of DeG songs to rip off from Neko (so wonderfully convient)

*snooze*

I didn't really sleep much yesterday night, cos I caught a cold and started sneezing really really badly. Arghhh...Anyhow so I was kinda sleepy the whole day but I was in a euphoric daze most of the time so it didn't really matter.

And since I saw Mrs Low, I gave her a SUPER DUPER BIG HUG! THANK YOU!

Went in search of my purple hair dye after tearing my entry proof~ I TORE MY ENTRY PROOF AND FLUSHED IT DOWN AHAHAHAHA *grins ridiculously* Unfortunately the shop that I wanted to buy dye from had already closed *so sad* and so I walked in circles until I felt karma. I mean, seriously, it was karmic fluke that I managed to find it.

Purple dye Incident

I was kinda sulky cos the shop closed and then I suddenly spotted this shop purely by accident, I wasn't even planning to walk in that direction and then I saw these two guys, one dressed totally in black, the other in jeans and red shirt.

And then I walked in.
"Hello. Umm...do you sell purple hair dye?"

Immediately the Black Dressed Guy (aka Black Guy) went, "Wait wait." Gives me a package, sees my utter cluelessness and goes "Do you know how to use?"

tsu: "nope!" *smiles*

Then he proceeds to drag me to the chair, "Sit. *looks into reflection* Nevermind stand also okay." (I get a feeling it's an unintended insult to say I'm short.) And then he tells me to call Audrey in to show BOTH of a demostration. Which he fiddles my hair to the left, fiddles my hair to the right, fiddle and fiddle till my ribbon falls off.

It didn't help that the other guy in jeans was smiling at me with this "oh-so-kawaii-student" look. I can recognize it.

Then Black Guy (shopowner) sells me the WHOLE DARN PACKAGE (peroxide included) for $32. And since he doesn't have proper packaging he dumps the water from his mineral water to store the peroxide. *gapes* Not satisfied, he gives me EVEN MORE. Then he packs the bleaching powder into itsy bisty plastic container. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Not to mention he was passably cute.
And he's definetly Taiwanese, judging from his accent.
It's like Kyo going to English classes intensively for 2 years and passing with a C6.

THEN! I accidentally forgot the peroxide at the shop and he came running after both of us (me and Audy) with the peroxide in his hands saying "miss! miss!" *blinks* Amazingly nice people exist!

Kawaii!

[End Incident]

Went to Orchard, visited the nice person at MiseXclusive whose name is actually B, and is going to Japan next year and wants to see my hair purple cos she's so nice and all. Yay~ Makes me feel genki~ All these nice people. Went to Far East too, to get Auddy's pink shirts and then to Borders. Apparently they only hire 18 and above people. Arrghh. So terrible. They don't want happy O level students they want A levels cos their holidays are 7months compared to our measly 3months.

Arghh! But! I did get a job offer...

Went home soon after to change and stuff and got teased by Auddy and my sis. Reminder to self: Don't put them into the same room ever again. Ever. They get along far too well. Got dropped off at The Chinese High *snickers* and looked for Neko. *glompuuu* Don't worry...You did a great job!

Natz came a little later, lol. Meet at the Big Statue.

Talked, walked along TCHS' and had fun, ate odd dodgy looking white substance (turned out to be almond jelly, how pervy of tsu) Really nice to be with them. I mean, I'm really really happy when with Auddy, Neko and Natz. It's just really fun and we have zillions to talk about even though I can't remember for the life of me what we talked about. Art, junk, food, philosophy and Casshern all at once.

We got lousy seats. But then again, so did everyone.
LOL, the boy on the podium looked Primary School-ish
His voice haven't even cracked!

Casshern: The Movie

Where do I start? It's not too bad, the beginning from pretty cool, the music motif re: Bethoveen was waaaay overused though. (they used it in Elephant too)

-It was a 2hour long Dir en Grey PV

Seriously, if you want to sum up the filmstyle, it's like badly edited Matrix with Dir en Grey PV shots and Ultraman clothes. There was the guncky blue Kasumi people, the Drain Away bicycle scenes, Clover style benches and Akuro no Oka hilly scenes and those TERRIBLE AWFUL GRAINY black/white shots used in documentries.

*yawns*

Too make things worse, they have a meandering plot. Seriously meandering and convoluted and banal. I went home and finally figured it. It's banal and totally nugatory. Even the ending sucked. They kissed and suddenly....SPONTANTEOUS COMBUSTION! Like ha ha ha maybe the kiss was TOO HOT for ya? Or maybe you're feeling alittle FIERY under the collar? *giggles*

It's just inane. Simply inane.

It even has the whole Evangelion Second Impact effects and there were some scenes (CALL DOWN THE LIGHTING!) that was just corny. Corny and stupid.

HOWEVER!!!!

The supposed bad guy, Brai is actually kinda hot. Like a really cool Stalin/Lenin/Hitler with a frikkin cool red cape. I think the cape is cooler than him at times though *gapes in wonder* Anyhow, he has really cool white hair and a big RED CAPE! XD XD XD XD XD

Then there's the really psycho guy called Kaoru Naito who looks alot like Totchi actually and has really psychotic laughter. I mean I started to like him only when one of the old onery men got slaughtered and he started laughing like AHAHAHAHAAH HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA AHAHAHA who blood still on his cheek. Wacko cool.

So there you have it! The whole story!

Okay tomorrow I will make my skirt and stuff and make phone calls to ask for jobs. Yesshshhhh GO TSU! GANBATTE!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:23 p.m.+

^^

Erghhh...busyness.

My brother's motherboard broke down (what terrible timing) and the rotar is giving way soon (how terrifying). My last paper is tomorrow, 22nd Nov after which I'm going out with Audy to buy hair dye. I've decided on my colour, a nice Kaoru purple would suit me best, I think.

Besides, I'm working so I can't really afford anything too loud.

*smiles*

Made a new friend, his name is Colin and I'm trying out for his band, aptly named Dream As Hearts Bleed. Nice guy, he seems. Haven't decided yet. But no surprise on astrology. Scorpio Asc! xD xD I told you I'm a scorpio barometer. He seems interesting and vaguely nice, add to the fact he plays the electric guitar. Plus I intro-ed him to Dir en Grey! (ha!)

I'm supposed to meet him after his performance on Friday, Atrium Park, 26th Nov, 7.30pm. Anyone wanna tag along?

Apparently Natz is deciding whether or not to boycott Sec 4 Grad Night. Audy and I are skipping it for most part, cos we don't really like it anyway. I have to go and drop the roses to the teachers' though and thank them for teaching me. LOL.

Still looking for a job. Argh.

Why does everyone want A level students?!?

It's not fair!

Helping Judith out with her project thingy, the Singapore Buskers' fest for the cancer foundation. Erghhh....Christine? I'm so sorry but I lost Beatboxer's number. Can you send it to me please? Arghh. How terrible. I can't believe I'm so careless.

This is insane by the way.

I still need to sign up for the Japanese classes at Bunka. So the classes start by the 27th. Need to go Delfi and get their number. Plus my sis is reminding me of the fics I haven't completed. Gomennnnnn...>_________< I'm just so frikkin' busy right now. (get a job get a job)

Most importantly, I really need to get a job.

On the other hand, I changed the layout for PipeDreams GO SEE! It's Kaoru cos I like Kaoru and after the meatstick incident, I think I like him even more.

Tomorrow, watching Casshern piermere, and I'm not really sure of the timing and all. ^^;;; Anyhow, need to go Cat High to collect tickets. Arrghhh...LOL. Good thing Audy and I are dying hair tomorrow or we'll really run out of time. How horrifying.

I hope everything settle down pretty soon, it'll be much better.

PS. Dad won't be back till next year (disculding 8th to 12th) YAY!

love hugs and hot sex to you too!
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:19 p.m.+

Quickie

No time no time arrghh... I'll just sum it up.

-My brother's back from England

Yes yes, so if I'm not online for a couple of days or suddenly offline, you know why. Mixed feelings about this. On one hand it's great that he's okay, on the other, there's no love lost between us really. I mean, it's so fake it's funny sometimes. Okay so we care for one another but it stops there. Doesn't go into the wonderfully transcending level of familial love.

-Looking for a job which ended up...

Seriously looking for a job, I'm deadly bored staying at home. Asked around a little, Claude gave me Kazu's number cos he was looking for people. Looked around on jobstreet and Classifieds too. I'm hoping to work my arse off so I'll have cash for Japan, give people wonderful presents and mostly so I'll have something to do.

Argh I hate bumming around.

-Dad's back
"A trouble that will not go away" --> Alfieri, View from the Bridge.

-Sap/Mush/Junk

Audy makes me happy~ Apparently, my sheer sacharine sweetness is giving Neko a toothache. Okay so I really love her, deal with it. Problem is, the holidays starting and I'm working and she's doing something else and arrghhh....Oh well, still have MSN. ^^ I miss her really.

-Mom's on course

My mom is now on some course, she'll be home at 12 midnight everyday and well, it's strange I think. Anyhow it ends on Sunday so yay~ ahahahaha...I don't really mind them not being not around so I come to a very particular conclusion that I'm not really close to my family and stuff. Yeah. It's not the blood thicker than water issue, it's just that they hardly care in the way I want that makes me run into someone else's (Audy!) arms. I mean if they actually cared I would give them the same back.

But they don't so oh well.

-Last paper on Monday

Last paper, Phy/Chem MCQ on Monday. After which Audy and I are going to buy hair dye and then I'll go and watch Casshern with them. YAY! Anyhow, good news. I'll problably start work on Wednesday though, depending how fast I can call the respective companies.

-Need to write resume

AARGH ...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ONE.

-Finish fanfiction
How many do I owe? I think six or seven. I promise to finish S-teki as soon as possible. Really. It's gone too far anyhow. And then there's other junk to consider.

Okay, need to change cos I'm going out with dad. If I'm not online tonight, you know why.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 04:39 p.m.+

And we search and search and search

Listening to: KR Cube

Ahaha...read Chinese yaoi fanfiction and it was damn funny. For example,
薰只知把心夜的双腿抬得更高，让自己的灼热更深的进入到他那紧窄的密洞。。。
Translates to: Kaoru held Shinya's legs high and put himself into the narrow honeypot.
However, online web translates differently:
Xun can only heart night middle of pair of legs higher, and let himself into the crispy heat deeper going into the small hole of honey.
LOOOL

Then there's the KAORU'S PORK STICK! *giggles*

Hilarious ain't it?

Slacked around today, bored out of my mind and wits. I mean, I was DEAD BORED. That goes to show I have to do something - find a job, learn a language or I will go zonkers. Yea yea..workaholism. LOL. Anyhow, searching for a job. I hope to find one pretty soon...

Talked to Audy and Neko, we're all going for the Casshern pieremere. Yay~ Anyhow, went online to look for jobs and managed to find a good list. Next thing to do is call/send resume.

More tomorrow.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:57 p.m.+

Oh JOY! *throws confetti*

Listening to: Kyo fart music xD

ADD MATH ISH OVERRRR!!!

I'm so happy I could cry!
Over over over over over
Means that:
HOLIDAYS! (yes I do realize I still have a paper)
But Phy/Chem doesn't count
Ahahahaha

Okay next on the list,
Find A Job
*hacknotdadnotdadkoff*
I'll go ask around or something
Or worse comes to worse, I'll do flyers
$2 per hour! xD xD xD

Genki genki genki na~
*bounces on sugar and caffeine and ice cream*
Went Kino today, finished a damn funny book about Japan
Ahahahaha...parody comics!
*falls over laughing* me = lame
loooooool
can you sense my GENKI DA!-ness?

How do you like the layout by the way? Yes yes *shoos odd comments* It's Kyo. And I don't like Kyo. But the pic is too good to um... NOT use and I'm talking about the purple snow not the Shishaku/Final pics. Yuki no murasaki~~~~~ *heart*

Stolen from Audy:

I am Toshiya!
what can I say? who'da thunk it. your surprisingly Toshiya, crazy bassist of Dir en grey and sexy sexy beast. Play us some bass baby! doof doof doof... waa? thats not it? ooh... lol, yeah bass GUITAR! riiiight... sorry, we forgot. OK. lets face it, your the pick of the bunch when it comes to being beautiful... not to offend Shinya but your beauty is natural and your smile... oooh dear lord... your teeth on the otherhand... erm... thats very natural of you!
want to know who you are? Then take the quiz at esoteric symphony

I am compatible with salacious Kyo!
three words: he wants you.
his mind's in the gutter but that's right where you want it and we're not going to ask. everyone's entitled to their own fantasies... even if yours happen to involve Kyo, a llama and a melon... hey! who asked? yeah he's salacious... what? you'll give us 10 bucks for him? deal. "hey there soldier, me so horny me love you long time"
want to know who your match is? Then take the quiz at esoteric symphony
Repeat after me: I Am Not Sexually Frustrated. I Am Not Sexually Frustrated. I Am Not Sexually Frustrated....*looks around* Can't ANYONE JUST BELIEVE ME?!?? *sighs in despair*

I am Space Barbie!
Not only do your boobs defy gravity, you do as well! Get back down to earth will you before some crazy hillbillies try to shoot you down
quiz made by Amy and J-Lee of esoteric symphony

you are The Hat
Just when you thought it was safe to purchase decorative ornaments for your head... a shapeless lifeform from a fallen meteor is feeding off the inhabitants of a small town! With the latest in high-tech special effects that rivals those witnessed in Dr.Who episode 138, a dash of conspiracy and paranoia thrown in for good measure, the hat (and the full-view digestion of its victims) is more frightening than ever.
Which Dir en grey Blockbuster are you?
find out at esoteric symphony

you are the Deep Orchid Purple Of Kyo's Tie
well-seasoned. well-bred. well-educated
you're the smartest cookie in the jar.

you are Die the serious musician.
They say bad things happen to good people. Often, you're not too lucky in most things which has led you to believe that some days, the world is really out to get you. Cursed? or just plain unlucky? You can be pessimistic, but you are deep, thoughtful and prefer to work things out on your own in a rational manner - you also like to be left alone to dwell on your thoughts and contemplate the meaning of life (or why all this bad stuff happens to you). You don't like it when you get made a fool out of as you take what you do seriously.
want to know what your Dir en grey personality is? Then take the quiz at esoteric symphony
My sheer biasness is telling me that Die has not enough greymatter to ever comtemplate on anything besides his next dinner in which he will ask, "Kaoru-sama issit gonna be MacDonalds?" Yes, I know. I'm evil. ahahahaha

okay. Time to fic-write and get down to work.

love glomps you
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:19 p.m.+