FTP not working, so I can't upload anything too big. Headache, will sleep later and Island Creamery is fantastic. Okay, I still feel sick. Enjoy~
PS. It's really really last minute, and the dentist thought I was crazy for humming while he was cleaning my teeth.
Love (rocking demons with blind eyes)
tsu
-------------RANDOM: KR CUBE-----
kururi fururi fuwari kurari
the rocking of a cradle
"Come here baby, I have a pretty toy for you" A butterfly blade snaps open in the palm of my hand. "Come here my baby. See the cradle and we play." He crawls over, wide blue eyes and pink cream skin. "That's right baby, come here for mommy."
And the blade dances on his baby neck.
"Sleep tight baby." I coo and leave the room.
Rock slowly, rock surely, sleeping baby in a solitary room.
--------------------------------
"Hey Reika, I heard he -likes- you." Giggles from the girls. They are like geese I think, a gaggle of geese-y giggling -nosy- girls. Who cared what he thought? Who cared? "Mind your own business." I tossed my head casually, picking up my bag and walking off. Behind -
"Reika the ice queen!"
"Reika's mommy is a whore! Whore girl!"
"Make sure he doesn't put his hand in your legs, Reika!"
"Reika! Reika!"
Their shrieks of laughter. I can't be bothered with them. Slowly, I walk home, past the picket gates and cicada fields. The heat of the summer swirls at my feet.
"Tadaima." My voice echoes into the empty house.
Empty....It has always been empty. My father left us when my mother was preganant with me, she was barely a teenager. A student with a big belly, rounded and full. Her dumb Christian upbringing forced her to keep me. Stupid woman, it would have been much better if I was dead. She couldn't take it. Bringing me up, feeding and keeping a child. She, herself, was still a child.
Stupid woman.
Thankfully she died soon after.
"Reika-chan..." A smooth voice glides through the door. Seiji. My heart leapt into my mouth. "You're home..." Naturally, easily, his arms wrap themseleves round my waist, drawing me closer to him. I can feel his heat, hot against me, even hotter than the sorching heat of the blazing summer sun.
"You're beautiful Reika." He kisses the junction of my neck.
"Don't sweet tongue me you devil." Almost uneasily, I push myself away from him. He has never been so forward before.
He didn't say anything, just watching me with those smoldering eyes of his. They followed me, the gestures, the movements. Every step I took, every time I breathed I could feel the eyes on my back. Annoyed, I asked him, "What do you want Seiji!?"
A cat-like smile lit up his face. "You."
"But-"
"I know you're afraid I will desert you. I won't. I love you, Reika. I love you so much it hurts, so much that I can't bear to think of life without you. Can I...Can I... just make love to you just once?"
Stupid Reika. Stupid me.
Those honeyed words of his. Those honyed words of men.
Like my mother my belly swelled in the heat of the summer, swelled like ripening golden wheat, swelled until the children called me the watermelon girl. Snickers, giggles and pointing fingers I held my head up high.
The face of the mother.
The face of the daughter.
The face of the unborn child.
I birthed her, this child of mine. Perfect child, with baby limbs and baby gurgles and baby smiles. The doll like creature who stole my heart just like I stole my mother's. I would love her for the rest of my life. Love her with every cell, every fiber of my body. My child.
My baby doll.
In her face I can see mine, I can see my mother's. The feathery black hair, long thick eyelashes and a kiss of rose lips. I kissed her cheek.Soothingly, I rocked her gently in my arms. I would save her from all the pain in the world, save her from men with honey words and hard cocks, save her from the despair and anguish and anger, save her from hating me like I hated my godforsakened mother.
I placed her in her cradle.
My darling baby.
kururi fururi fuwari kurakurari
the rocking of mother's arms
"Here baby see this pretty sliver thing?" I cooed at her. "Don't you love it baby?"
I smiled, and opened the knife.
--------------------END-------
+tsu waited for you at 07:26 p.m.+
Listening to: The Final - DeG
Went to Bugis early today and met Audy first. Electra is a really nice person under that personality thing and kawaii too~ I like her! *glomp* Kyrou was kinda busy all the time though, with her seniors and all...Didn't get to know her all that well but...Ah well. There's always other times.
I think I'm still affected by yesterday.
Anyhow, had ice cream at Swensen's and the apple crumble was delicious~ They served it in a pan! (which is the whole reason why I ordered it anyway) Tasted really good and bought ice cream for Nekoichi and Electra. Pretty okay, walked around a bit and tried to get high (no avail).
I'm tired of crying.
Cosplay wasn't really a good idea in the heat, really. It was hot, burning hot, sorching hot, blazing hot, hot hot hot. I felt like I was going to melt. The music was so loud you couldn't carry a conversation even if your life depended upon it. Met various people which I know in an aquantanice-y way. Okay, I'm only going to say this once: I'm glad Audy came with me because if not I would have felt bloody lonely and outside because people stop being people during cosplay. There. I say it only once.
The bands were pretty good, some of them covered Dir en Grey and there was one, GenXsis I think, that did Kagrra. The guitarist was HOT. There was this cute incident about this bunch of guys and their friend. He wanted to take a picture with me but was so shy so he asked his friend. In the end he ran off, LOL. Too bad. He was kinda cute (tsu = no taste)
Felt really sick of all the people around me and I needed to go, fast. It was like swirls and swirls of faces blending one after another all smiling at each other and then hugging and the music was pressing, drumming into my brain and it was choking and suffocating this sweating, moving mass of humanity and I was going to die and faint if I didn't get out soon.
Okay, I'm just stressed.
Went home, showered and proceeded to ignore everything and shut off my speakers. I just didn't want anything. I just wanted to be cuddled for a change y'know? It's like I'm always running around crazily and it's ME who glomps people, it's ME who hugs people...I'm always the initiator and I always have to take that flying risk of rejection.
It's as if I'm crumbling bits of my soul away.
I just want to be taken care of for a change. For someone to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything is going to be okay. For someone to listen to me and just cuddle with me. Someone to ask me how was my day and pat me on the head. I'm always giving giving giving. I listen to people and people listen to me. But the people whom I listen to don't listen to me and the people who listen to me never let me listen for them.
Isn't it a give and take?
I want those whom I listen to realize that I'm a person with problems and listen to me too.
I want those who listen to me talk to me about their problems cos I want to help them too.
I'm just tired to taking care of things.
I have CCA to take care of. Reassure Rosemary constantly that yes she's doing a good job, no there's nothing to worry about and don't worry Mr Tan we'll take care of it. Then there's the welfare of 30-odd people in the CCA.
Then there's my family and there's sis who needs my attention and I have to stay away from my brother and my mom needs reassurance. Hey sis your cooking tastes great (and I mean it) Don't worry about your Chinese exam. And my brother stop reading my blog and prying into my life. Yes we love you despite what you say so stop that. Mom don't worry that dad left us cos he sucks anyways and that Zara skirt suits you.
Then of course, school. Audy you're brilliant stop saying you're stupid because you're not.You draw well, write well and the teachers know it and I know it too. Have some confidence for god's sake and trust me. It's so weird that I always talk to you but you never tell me anything. Neko everyone loves you anyway so don't think so much about your class okay? Look you're cute and all so live with it. Just be more mindful of other people's feelings. Sharon don't worry so much about the cute waiter guy in M'sia you don't even know his name, anyhow we should concentrate on O levels. Melissa, you're really great. Don't care what the class thinks of you and stuff. Just because those losers don't respect you doesn't mean you're terrible. Open up a little and maybe you'll feel better.
Then of course, random people I meet online.
I should tape record myself one day because I always seem to be saying the same things over and over and over again. Press repeat.
Basically, my life is to encourage and reassure people.
And you know, just once, maybe just once, maybe just in my dreams, someone can hug me and cuddle me and say thank you.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:10 p.m.+
I don't know what to think.
I don't know what to do.
What to say, what to hear, what am I supposed to feel?
It started off pretty well, my dad came to pick us up as usual, and we went to Paragorn for dinner. Dinner was great, food was lovely. Great fun talking and ranting about Arts Alive. I thought he was joking when he said he wanted me as a successor. I mean, ME? Anyways, dicussed various fun things during dinner.
Then we made a mistake. A REALLY BIG mistake.
We invited him home.
It was really terrible because it was such a nice day and then we had to spoil it! T__________T It was like realizing how great the gulf was between us. He was looking at our family photos, touching my table like he'd never seen it before, and...........I think he just realized what he lost. He lost not a wife, he lost the love of a family. He lost us.
We grew up and he didn't even know it. He doesn't even know us.
I saw him staring at the pictures...I think he was trying to make a connection y'know. Maybe he regrets screwing his secatary. Maybe he cared - cared just a little, cared a little enough to regret.I don't know. I don't understand it myself. Too much too late? Sorry? Pity?
He never really loved anyone. He wasn't loved by anyone either. He might have loved my mother before, he might have. Before he went into big business (which is why I don't like it). But I don't think he loves his new family - my stepfamily- anymore than he loves us.
He's not capable of loving.
To be in business, you must be ruthlessly professional. It doesn't matter who it is, your mother, your father, your wife. He doesn't have anything. I'll never hugged him in my life, not even once. And you know I'm the touchy feely type.....For me to not touch someone...I don't know what to think. He just sounded so hurt and I don't even know why I care...
I thought these emotions died when I found he deserted us for another woman. I thought I would never care. I treated him like an ATM machine and I didn't bother caring at all. Why should I care for someone who can't remember my birthday? Let alone care for me? It's just so....I don't know...heartsick. I just feel sick. Too full of emotions not even realized. Like crawling up my throat and I really really want to cry but I can't cos I don't know what I'm crying for and I have nothing to cry about.
My mom is away right now...and everything feels unsure y'know? I'm kinda.......freaked.
Sorry.
Love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:03 p.m.+
Listening to: La:Sadies - Kuroi Namida
^-^| = tsu's offical middle finger.
My bloody korosu oniisan opened his bloody mouth and told my mom I went home.
//Random violent moment//
KO-RO-SU! ^-^| *ping* Dead body on the paraquet floor
//End Moment//
Found a super cool site with lots of fics. Link = StrawberryShinya.net Great name huh? XD XD
Went for Math tuition and I swear I'm gonna die by prelims because there's no effing way you can get me a B4 for A Math because the subject stinks of *&%^! Yes, it's pure %$#! Somehow or other, I'm pissed.
Switch that, make it very.
Anyone waiting for A Place of Your Own, I hate to say it, but you're gonna have to wait cos my school is asking for essays too. I can't believe I wrote a happy funeral story. It's too bloody damn cheerful for a six feet under. It's even *gasp* HOPEFUL. You know what I need? I need to talk to someone who actually understands my logic and hornyness. Someone like Neko, Kyrou or Phiryn.
Knowing that you're logical doesn't seem to reassure me much.
I'm pretty pissed with my -oniisan-
For one thing, he's behaving like a damn ojisan. And I have to resist the urge to argue because I don't like fighting or violence and somehow or other, it always ends up with me losing anyhow. Narrow viewpointness. Damnit I'm already studying bloody hard! I wanna watch TV one day because I haven't been watching it for WEEKS and cos it's a neat French movie about Louis IX. Not that you know or care anyway, kisama.
Plus you always had a soft spot for imouto.
Do I really care? Nah. But I do want to throttle you.
*feels frustrated*
The correct term is -impotent-
Impotent : [1]helplessness in any issue, frustration, lack of outlet. [2] sexual inability.
I'm beginning to rely on myself more. Honestly, it's not worth the effort anymore. My faith in humanity is severely lacking when it comes to daily life because what I meet is rude, boorish, insensitive, vulgar, garish, irritable people with no sense of anything at all. SINGAPOREANS. To say they piss me off is mild. To say that I wanna gassed half of them with cyanide and genocide most is more correct.
Okay, I'm going to ignore everyone for the next few hours by reading, drawing and talking on the telephone with various enlighted individuals and finishing those DEAD BLUE FISH essays. (DEAD! BLUE! FISH! DEATH AND DISATER!!!) I'm overreacting. Too bad. ^-^|
Love with LSD
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:24 p.m.+
Listening to: Ordinary World - Duran Duran
Woke up late today and had eggs and ham ^______________^ Continued reading October Country which is a really wonderful book, abeit creepy though. Bradbury has a fantastically horrific imagination. Auddy: Remind me to lend you.
Anyhow, my June holidays are officially filled. T____T I have tuition twice a week...Not that I mind especially, it's just that I'm going to have to work really hard. *sighs* Saddening right?
Wrote a story today...It's for school though, not really story story. It's about funerals. Funnily enough, it's actually a pretty genki story. Ate lots of Cote d'Or chocolate today and I'm suddenly feeling hungry. Maybe I'll make egg omelette later~ And add cheese~ yum yum..
Anyhow, I'm watching Ms Universe and I have to say, the poorer the country's GDP, the more beautiful the women. For instance, Ms USA and Ms Singapore have to be the ugliest women on the planet wheras Ms Brazil (GDP 1.7) and Ms Peru (non existant economy) are SO BEAUTIFUL. It just goes to show that divine justice does exist and Cinderella's story might just come true (Prince Charming being CASH that is)
I personally like Ms Russia 2002. She looked like Subaru from Tokyo Babylon!
Okay, I'm going to eat something~
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:00 p.m.+
[plaintive bleat of dead blue fish]
Listening to: Umbrella- Dir en Grey
Strange...Just when I tell myself I utterly detest my yurameki because it never gives me peace I want it back. Wait, I don't want the horrors that come with it.
Just don't kill my blue fish voices.
I'm reading Ray Badbury's October Sky, which is twisted and kooky in many interesting ways. I don't know...I'm quite discontented with myself. Especially my current bone of contention, writing.
My English teacher has informed me in the nicest terms, as gently as possible, that I cannot write like this. Apparently, the examiners would and WILL fail me if my writing becomes creative.
My problem is that I'm too creative.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Therefore, I've just killed my blue fish. In more ways than one.
I squashed it like an insect, contained it in a tank, and now I feel utterly disgusted at myself for killing it. I've tortured myself by reading ABSOLUTE RUBBISH (read: Catherine Lim and other dumb Singaporean writers).
*sighs* It just feels so constricting. Like a strait jacket.
I wish sometimes I had someone to talk to. Someone, I don't know, a best friend perhaps. The closest to that is problably Audy or Neko, but they already have their own.
Can you hear my drive myself up the wall?
Senseless. Senseless. Senseless.
The utter loneliness of being human.
Bloody islands...*sighs*
So anyhow, I'm reading Graham Swift to console myself that I'm not the only person who suffers from this.
Just to answer someone's question: Which authors influence your writing?
I read mystery stories as a foundation when I was younger. Nancy Drew and all. Nowadays, the authors which regulary make an appearance are Graham Swift, Ray Bradbury, Fritzgerald and other classical authors. I'm mostly grounded by classics and Science Fiction such as Philp K Dick. Hope it helps you.
Okay, I know I screwed up the chapter order but I'm posting it anyhow. I just...I don't know. Sick isn't the right word.
--------------------Interlude II : Kyo-------------
Chewing my lip, I think. Thinking is all I can do really, besides sleeping. Thinking of lyrics to write, of things to say. But his words always come back to me.
...pretentious lies....As if I can't see through them...
Round and back again, round and back again. I can't seem to get out of it.
Crash! "Ah! K'so!" Ah, Toshiya-kun, what have you wrecked again?
Amused, I make my way to the kitchen. Staying with Toshiya has been an enlightening experience. Unlike a certain someone, he talks incessantly, constantly. Everything from the weather to the shade of lipstick he just has to, must, talk about. Occasionally it drives me up the wall, especially when all I want to do is think, and contemplate, or when I want to write lyrics. Then I'll shout "Shut up for Gods' sake!" and he would, while muttering about nasty grumpy vocalists. Five minutes later he would be perfectly fine and filing his fingernails while talking to himself.
I suppose he can't help it. Being as energetic as he is.
"What did you do again?"
"I burned today's dinner!" He wailed. I winced. Today's dinner was all that we had. The only thing left would be to either buy take-out or strave.
"Let's get take-out instead." I sigh and reach for my wallet.
"Yea." And we both look miserably at the burned browned mess in the pan.
It's an unspoken thought that we've been eating a lot of take out these days. It's an unspoken expression that Toshiya does not question why I am here, how I got here and what it has to do with -him-.
It also means take-out every night.
I'll bet a million that -he- isn't eating take-out, that he is snuggling with that damn cute dog of his, happy that his troubles are over now that we're gone. Now that I'm gone.
I almost want to be in the same place as his dog. Comfortably fed and lying on his bed, ready for him.
But I'm not. And I should not be.
I can't forgive him. I can't think of him. I can't look at him that way. Even though I'm living in a pig sty with Toshiya-kun. I can't be with him because he's a liar too and I hate liars. Sometimes he makes me so infuriated that I want to strangle him, strangle his neck. Unfortunately it's a cotton pillow in my hands, not flesh.
I want to hate him.
I want to kill him. To squash him like a meaningless bug under the crunch of my chunky boots.
But I can't.
Truth to be told, I can't forget him. Forget his elusive prescene, like a shadow darting between the trees, so close yet so far at once. Dancing behind the effusive veil of his, almost as if I could reach out and brush the curtains away revealing....revealing what? A beautiful paradox as always, my Shinya. Yes, mine. My beautiful and mysterious phatom of Shinya.
Maybe I can't hold him.
Maybe I can't catch him.
But he's mine, wholly, fully.
Even if he isn't here with me, even if I will never be able to hold him, he's mine.
He can never forget me.
From the day my love began, I began to change
when I was just staring at you
you were always standing in that garden, looking lonely
as you stared at nothing but the scattering flowers
My unfullfilled wish made another wound in my aching heart
this reality bound up before my eyes still haunts me all the while
so that only the stifling atmosphere will
not forget me now
Garden wishing that someday I'll be able to meet you always
Garden in the midst of this passing season, forever... you will...
The sorrowfully withering flowers that have seen a thousand nights
in sepia your figure pictured
I want to forget, I don't want to forget, these contradictory feelings
subdued, I stand here all by myself
lonely, with only the snow to colour the scenery, but
still, always, so that I will not forget
I want to forget, I don't want to forget, these contradictory feelings
subdued, I stand here all by myself
time passes quickly, vanishing from reality, so that I will not forget
these memories
We aren't the type to say "I love you"s are we, Shinya?
We aren't the type to say anything at all.
Even so......
"Want some dinner Kyo?" Toshiya, as usual, speaks through a mouthful of takeout noodles. I shake my head, indicating "later". A smile tugs the corners of my lips. Ahh...Toshiya-kun, I care for you as I care for a friend and you and I know it. Friends, that's all we are.
Picking up the phone, I dial his number, so small a press of a button, so large the pressure of hope.
I've lost a lot before but I'm not ready to lose you now.
In the dark recesses of my mind, I will say it once, just once.
I love you.
--------------
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:41 p.m.+
Listening to: S- DeG (this song screws your head)
Tsu's Kyo Rant
I'm fairly well adjusted normal 16 year old girl with a healthy like for everything. So my BIIIIGGGG QUESTION is...*drumroll*
WHY DOESN'T KYO GET ANY?
I mean, as much as I dislike the evil git, it doesn't mean I don't feel sorry for him. He doesn't get any. Seriously folks, every Dir en Grey page I go to, the fanfiction always flows as thus, Die x Shinya Kaoru x Toshiya. And if they DO remember his pathetic existance, he is usually found in seedy sections of Yoshiki x Kyo (?!), Gackt x Kyo (?!?!?) or even more stunning, Hide x Kyo (?!?!?!?!)
I'm not joking.
Even more strange, he (supposedly) has the largest number of fangirls (all willing to declare eternal devotion). So why is he always stuck backstage to fade away when the action comes on? Is he like..asexual? Or an andriod?
Court scene
Judge Tsu: You may speak.
Kyo: It's like f*cking weird man. All these f^ckers who make me have no f^ck. Even my bandmates get some. Who do I get? AIDS-ridden GAACCKKKTT! It's not fair! I demand repayment!
Tsu: looks evilly at the other DeG members What do you have to say to this?
Rest of Them: in various states of undress Ah! More! I dunno! disappear and various moans/groans can be heard
Kyo: SEE WHAT I MEAN? I DON'T GET ANY!
Tsu: I rest my case.
-----------------------------
Today I realized that Izam looks alot like Yuana.
Today I realized Mrs Low is actually really hot and sexy
Today I looked like a Mana reject with my 3! ribbons and 2 ponytails.
Today, also, happens to be a really wacky Jrock kinda day
Which just goes to show I don't have much sanity left and DeG has infested the realms of my brain.
WHEE! I LOVE PINKUU!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:06 p.m.+
Listening to: Macabre- Dir en Grey
I love this song~ Well, love is not the right word, but heck, close.
Saturday
I was really worried the night before, because quite alot of the teachers' requested to see my mother and well, I was quite worried over what they might say. (read: sleepless night) Anyhow, it wasn't as bad as expected. Check out the remarks:
Tsu is a highly intelligent girl who is capable of great things. Her interesting and insightful comments make her a pleasure to teach. However, she needs to be more mindful of how her actions affect others.
Hahahah! I'm a "pleasure to teach", I wonder what else is pleasurable about me?
Went home and slept for 4 hours til 5.15pm...I was just so tired ne~
Had a lovely dinner with family and the Italian food was just -great!-. Yummy pizza and pasta at California Pizza Place. Surprisingly happy day~
Sunday
Woke up mid-afternoon then I went out with Tessie. It was okay, but not great. I don't know...I like her alot, but I'm not totally comfortable with her. Anyhow, it was an okay trip. Bought some stuff and some ribbons, but that was it.
It just felt deary deary deary deary...Grey skies and all..
Oh yeah, I joining another band.
This time, it's all girls.
Strange how life gets round right?
I told myself I will never ever join another band but look...I'm now more or less in another one.
Full circle, they say. Full circle.
I don't feel like writing now~ It's the mood.
Gomenasai.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:55 p.m.+
Reminder: Yurameki at Midnight
Too much Macabre. Okay, enough said. WORK! (I have only 5 mins left so I'm just going to jot down notes)
Reminder to self: Let Audy listen to Galruda-Rashin
KR Cube/original- half curve, down, drop electric blue, rock sway rock sway, hair brushing against a baby's cheek, rattle rattle, who ask you not to check? Long sasuage with mustard. Okay, lights, 16 years old and mixed upness and the screw crew screw and then koto and die.
Spiltting image mother
Breavement of Child
Flightful New Relation
Umbrella- Table of Plenty free for all dinner, taste for farm. Follow the dum dum, grey strand mix with slate blue. Fork and Knife and Lector.
Macabre-black gold brown black. Eat like drink like care like innocent like. Err...just remember that what's not there is the same as it's there! >.< Okay tsu, remember this: hunter always catches the prey.
Mr Newsman- KT VT Screen TV mental sImUlAnT eYeSbOoGiE. Blue fish is dinner. Half grey mix blue ref: umbrella close but not like.
Audrey- gold mix brown yellow mix black get artic cold. restless wanderlust of body and soul. call it call them? wide awake and yet.
Okay. 10 mins up. Expect a whole slew of fics tomorrow (unless my mom kills me of course).
Just for the hell of it, I wonder if anyone can actually guess what I'm writing?
The key to understand is to use the drum pattern and pure emotion.
Have fun trying~ ^______^v
Okay I really have to go ahhh! I haven't even showered yet.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:42 p.m.+
nehw I etirw sdrawkcab - When I write backwards
Listening to: Everything cos I'm sorting out my Mp3 files.
Okay, so my comp has been reformatted. If it's possible, it's not very much faster, in fact, I think it could be slower.
Went for Founders' Day and it started out really sleepy and squishy. Came late, so I was squashed between Audy and Sharon, which is actually quite nice and warm considering the air conditioning was freezing. Stoned for a while before deciding it was time to -participate- and yelled myself hoarse with singing and cheering.
I even got to glomp Mrs Low and Mrs Alex!
Quite funny, cos Mrs Low was so bony that her hip poked me. LOL...Nice touch though.
Strange meeting all the Primary school teachers. Sorta of bittersweet-ish. Bitter because part of the reason why I'm such an anti-social emotional wreck is beacause of THEM, sweet because well, in the end, they did try to teach me.
Took 162 to Orchard and dragged Auddy off to HMV to listen to Macabre. LOL, Egnirys Cimredopyh! I really wanted her to hear it considering it's now my current obession. Then, like a psychic flash of lighting, I knew instanteously that Auddy's KISOU album had arrived and pleaded with the cute salesguy to check for us~ YATTA! I was right~ Yay~ She has her Kisou now and it has a lovely shiny *pikapika* cover~ ^_____________^ It's slivery~
I agree however, that Shinya looks dumb in the russian suit. XD
Walked over to Taka and bought a milkshake! Pretty nice but too milky >.< Even for a milk crazy person such as myself. Went to Kino and looked at pretty artbooks and comics then headed to the New Age section (don't ask) and looked at astrology charts.
LOL! Pretty funny ne~ Apparently, I'm supposed to be "an ambassodor of goodwill, agreeable, harmonious, tactful, overly sensitive, selfish and obessieve". LOL. Funny thing is, I share the EXCAT same traits (both good and bad) as Yoshiki with the exception of one word: "amiceble."
Oh yeah, if I'm not mistaken, Berry and Jessica share the same beats right? 230:235?
After that, headed to Plaza Singapore cos I wanted to buy somemore cloth for my Chobits slip. Walked around, poked at ribbons and played with stuff. Auddy looked so kawaii with that blue ribbon, maybe I should get it for her. Okay, fairly nice day. And we had coconut ice cream too! XD XD
Went home, showered and slept for awhile before waking up grumpily for dinner. Anyhow, I always wake up grumpy (and sulky and whiny too). It's an ingrained habit.
Okay, time to fix comp.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:10 p.m.+
Listening to: Garden- Dir en Grey
Skipped school today cos I really don't like churchs or choral practice. They make my skin itch, not crawl, but itch in a very bad way. To use Alex's apt comparison : Purple clouds crashing over you.
Tried to write finish A Place of Your Own and then I realized to my shock and horror (mostly horror) that I screwed up the plot arrangement!!! AHHH!!! THE HORROR! So what I'm writing now is more like inbetween chapter 11 and 12 and that really sucks because it's actually thick enough to make 2! chapters. *sighs* Honestly I should just write an epilouge and get done with it.
It's not like I haven't written the epilouge already, it's actually a really good ending I came up up.
I just wish that I can stop changing viewpoints all the time.
Anyhow, spent most of the day sewing my chobits outfit and watching Discovery Travel and Adventure. LOL, I love watching this. I love travelling and sometimes I would give up nearly everything to be there. Italy, Indochine, France, India...so beautifully exotic, almost like chimes ringing in the breeze. A call for my wanderlust that throbs in my veins.
Okay, enough rapsodizing. Get on ground, girl. You're still in SG.
So I'm going for the June 6th cosplay.
Strange. I never thought I'll be cosplaying ever again.
Not after last year. Not after those days. But, maybe the difference is now I don't really care about others, but my enjoyment of things. Maybe this time round it'll be different. I hope it will be different.
Besides, now I have neko and Audy. That will make a difference.
So I'm meeting Kyrou at Bugis, 6th June, MRT control station, 11.30. She's a nice person, something I've never expected to find in a cosplayer (present friends exculded) And I hope to be friends with her, there's a chance that she might be a real friend and I never pass up a chance at friendship. La Dolce Vita~ Enjoy~
I think of all the people I've met over the years, all of them. Some of them have touched me greatly, some not so much. I'm thankful that fundementally, I'm still me. Unchanged except for the shorelines of personality.
For me, it was the opposite of Shinya.
I used to be really quiet and shy, I know some people won't believe that now but hey! It's true. Shy, quiet, a taste for riddles and puzzles...LOL. Until I reached 11 and decided it was time to do something, and I went crazy...
Till now...I'm wondering what caused this metamorphasis.
Okay, more light hearted stuff now. I finally created the PERFECT SANDWHICH. It's perfect. It's easy to make. You can eat it in the morning, you can eat it in the afternoon, you can eat it at midnight. Okay, I eat it at midnight cos I don't follow regular eating habits.
Tsu's OOoozy sandwhich
Ingrediants:
1 egg
2 slices of bread
1 chunk of cheese
1 tsp of butter
1 nonstick pan
salt, pepper to taste
Anything else, eg. streaky bacon, ham
Heat the damn pan, throw in the butter wait for it to sizzle. Once it sizzles throw in one slice of bread. Flip it around until slighty brown.
Crack an egg smack right in the middle of the bread. Wait for it to cook slightly, add salt and pepper and bacon bits, whatever. Throw in the cheese and cap it with another slice of bread.
Then flip it. It's really hard to do it right, so don't worry if bits of egg fall out or something. Doesn't matter. Cook it until the bread is poofy. It'll sort of..puff up and get hard. (damn I sound perverted).
DONE!
Easy right?
The trick is the egg and cheese. The egg and cheese cook together to form this sticky eggy cheesy oozy gooey thing that tastes FANTASTIC. For best results, use a hard cheese like Edam or Guoda. Honestly it tastes really good. It's the kind of thing I eat in the middle of the night because that's when I'm hungry and stuff.
Okay, ja~
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:27 p.m.+
Listening to: Macabre, Egnirys Cimredoyph +)____
:)
I've just bought my Macabre albumn!!! (with many suprises inside)
Firstly, I want to say that the packaging is f*cking fantastic. It's so fantastic I might *drool* on the cover and stuff and OMG! It's so pretty!
Now, the surprises.
egnirys cimredoyph +)_____Injection
This song is actually VERY VERY VERY VERY good. I'm talking about a great, SUPER FANTASTIC bass/guitar riff. The chorus is catchy enough, and reminds you slightly of KR Cube. (no offence, Totchi) I swear that the rap isn't as bad as it seems, and it's actually pretty well done. The only thing questionable is Kyo's English. (as usual)
Tracks: Taiyou no Ao, KR Cube and some
They aren't the same as the ones on the mp3. For instance, KR Cube mp3/single is missing a line from KR Cube albumn. Then Taiyou no Aoi albumn has an extra guitar/bass part that the mp3 doesn't have. It's this weird extra jingle. LOL.
Macabre
Opening part has a tribal, primal drum base (which is the only original thing in the song). Next thing I heard was in respective order: Mushi (structure/arrangement), Undecided/bits of Zakuro (Die), Keloid Milk (watch out the BGM and Kyo), Some song that I forgot the title but remember the tune, opening bits of Kisou albumn song (one of the sad ones), Embryo, Mazohyst of Decadance, Mushi again, Merry(I swear, it's children one), Filth (Kaoru's guitar solo), Kasumi (Kyo's vocals), then it's that damn jingle. I know it's Die's jingle!!! T_T can't remember. The rapping behind is one of the faster songs....
Tsu's final opinion: AHHH! I LOVE THIS SONG! (despite being 9 mins over)
It's abit like listening to the past/future at once. Some parts of the arrangement are kinda screwed though...And there's a HUGE hint that Kisou is going to be a grimy albumn. G-R-I-M-Y.
Anyhow, got back my prelims results for English and I scored 82.5% for oral. YAY! My teachers want to see my mother though >.< Yuck. I'm not really looking forward to it. *sighs* Oh well, get it over and done with. Sooner, the better.
Tied my hair into 2 ponytails, and Audy kept on pulling them!! *pout* Have to return her brown rubberband tomorrow.
Very very very happy XD XD XD XD
Okay, how many people want copies??? Leave a note on the tag!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 05:30 p.m.+
Listening/Watching: Macabre concert. All 5 parts!
Shinya is just so cute! Waiii~~~ Kyo bully Shinya. Kaoru bully Shinya (and gets called Ojisan!) Die bullies Shinya! They all bully Shinya!
Skipped school today cos I have no idea how to get to Kallang and I don't like the sun anyhow. *waves anti-sun banner* Sunshine is bad for you. Very very bad for you XD
For some reason, I really don't want Kyo to spit stuff at me. It's just plain -gross-.
And for heaven's sake there's noodles inside!
But his shirt is damn nice.
Why does he have to spoil it with spittle? And drool? And vomit?
Anyhow, spent 3/4 of the morning wiriting because I realized the angstier I am, the better my writing usually is. And it's true. I managed to finish all the way up to chapter 14. Random insert: Hotarubi makes a fantastic live!
And blogging while watching Macabre is problably a bad idea.
Anyhow, I got a call from HMV that my CD is finally (FINALLY!) here. Go me~ Go very expensive imported CDs with 19% tax. (courtesy of Govt.)
A Place of Your Own
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Macabre is making my typing hyper and jumpy! Okay~ I really want to watch plus you have your fics already. Ja~
Love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:42 p.m.+
Listening to: Mushi - DeG (psyching up for fic writing tonight)
SHINYA WROTE UMBRELLA????? *stares in shock*
KAWAIIIIIII!!!!
Today was kinda sad. Gor back most of my (PATHETIC!) results and I nearly cried when I failed Literature by 4 marks. I've never failed Literature in my life....T____T Very painful. Cheered up slightly when I scored a distinction for Chemistry despite the stupid mistake I did on the paper.
I flunked Lit.
I can't believe it.
I know it isn't my fault, and it was 'cos I didn't see the question at all and thus lost 25 marks automatically but..
I flunked Lit.
It's so disheartening.
Anyhow, I'm sad, well, sad isn't the correct term. Totally uneqovicably unhappy and tired and unhappy and tired. I feel so bloody damn useless. I can't write school compositions, I can't do structured questions, my English results, Literature results are plain crap. So what good am I? I'm only a fic writer. Nothing else. The only thing I'm good at is fic writing and that's it. I can't rhyme, I can't reason, my logic works illogically and bloody hell, I just feel so f*cking usless.
That's the gist of it.
L-O-S-E-R
It doesn't help that everyone keeps on saying "study hard study hard". I hate it. The moment my fingers touch an examination paper I just want to die. BLANK.
I want to cry.
I want to cry.
I don't want this anymore.
I hate living, sometimes. And this just brings me to why I don't like it so much. It's just the annoyance of all this mundanities and that I have to study and study and study. I like studying actually. I just don't like the forcedness of it all and the way they make you do this and do that and do this and do that.
Whee....Now you know that I'm a loser.
I can't manage my life at all because it's filled with so many lies that even I don't know where the truth starts and the lies end.
I can't change anything I can't do anything and I'm never done anything particulary fantastic.
My greatest achievement currently is living.
If I was a selfish bastard I would have died long ago.
Slowly sliently rocking to the creeping touch - of death
As much as I love Audy, there are times (like this) when I want to take a butcher's knife and kill her. Simply because it's her own blindness that forbids her to see her own ability. Which is really sad cos she has the potential that I dearly wish I had to succeed. Unfortunately it also occasionally pisses me off when she puts herself down and says all this -rubbish-. Because the holy and scared truth is, that she can and will, succeed.
She said something on choice once.
That there wasn't anything such as choice because other people choose for you.
I thought about it, and realized there was something she never thought of.
Impluse.
People don't fit into equations (and she'll say "I know") and that's why people die.
Enough for now.
I'm going back to fic writing, because that's all I'm worth for anyhow. That's all my worth.
PS. I bet you one million to one that Audy is going to be pissed at me, but she'll say nothing is wrong and keep quiet. Deal?
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:31 a.m.+
Listening to: Kagerou- Gozen Sanji no Taiyou Kousen
From Audy. 11.24pm.
Harmony. It's inner peace for you, or at least
trying to find it. The shell you live your life
in is akin to monks of old. You'd be more
comfortable if things were less stressed and
made a little more sense, so you try to get
just that. You survive the end by not letting
it happen. You didn't stop it, but you
supported those who did. I'm glad you took a
break from meditation to take the quiz...
How would you survive the end of the world?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which JRock Vocalist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Non-box.
What box do you get put in?
brought to you by Quizilla
+tsu waited for you at 11:23 a.m.+
Listening to: Umbrella
Random Quizzes stolen from Audy.
You'd steal Kyo's pants. Just bring a spare
"in case".
Whose Pants Would You Steal?
brought to you by Quizilla
Toshiya and Kaoru:They like anime and eachother a
lot. If You are an otaku too, it will be easy
to get closer to them. But beware: They are
childish and maybe don't take You too serious.
Don't try it too hard! After all, You could
have at least one of them for a longer time.
Which Dir en grey yaoi pairing will You play with?
brought to you by Quizilla
die
which member of dir en grey hates you the most?
brought to you by Quizilla
I KNEW IT!!! *tsu hates Die as well* It just goes to show that mutual antagonism will exist between us. Arraghh! I absolutely can't stand him either!
*grin* made famous by the amazing Kaoru of Dir en
grey, you are the coolest hairstyle to ever
grace JRock with its presence. EVER. And I just
might molest you.
What JRock hairstyle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm So Sultry--I'm Gackt's Specialty Leather Pants!
Whenever Gackt needs to look his best--namely
modeling--I'm there to help. Be assured if you
want me you're going to have to shell out the
big bucks. Pants like me don't come easily.
Which type of Gackt pants are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are 'ain't afraid to die' by Dir en grey!
Which sad j-rock song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Squee!!!
Which jrock pet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are....A TRUE FAN! YAY!
What type of annoying and frustrating jrock fangirl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
take the WHAT IS YOUR INNER DIE TEST here
test by Bowie-Spawan
You're Yuana.
Which member of kagerou are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
+tsu waited for you at 08:47 p.m.+
Listening to: Kagerou- Yume Izuru Chi
Walked 8 km today~ Super duper proud of myself. XD Was kinda fun and finished the quiz. The teachers were road marshals and everything was kinda funny. I think I could have walked more though~ Nice experience.
Went to Orchard with Audy and watched Elephant! Waii~ Was so nice~ It's a movie about the Columbian High School shootings and it's amazingly cool. They film the viewpoints of various people who work/study in the school and how the shootings affect them. You walk around following all the charas, know them a bit better then BAM BAM BAM!
Even better, there's a shower scene with Alex and Eric kissing naked~
After that had coconut ice cream and indoctrinated Audy into eating it. Yay!~ Coconut ice cream rocks! Walked around aimlessly and then went home. Waiii~~ Nearly perfect day.
DUM DUM DUM! KABOOM!
Of course it couldn't last.
Aarraghh... Dad had to come! My brother woke me up from wonderful dreams which made me pissy and whiny at the same time. When I'm pissy and whiny I'm not very nice. In fact, not nice at all. I grump, poke, whine and whine and whine and act totally spoilt and bratty.
Went for dinner. Got pissed at him AGAIN. Went home.
My dad is the only person in the world who has the highest record of pissing me off.
I'm usually un-pissable, I don't even get pissed at Audy. But he!!!!!! *sighs* He just pisses me off.
Okay, I'm still doing Raison, but now I get a pretty red dress! Yay! Here :http://community.webshots.com/photo/13443015/13443108UiBuEHGWXZ
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:09 p.m.+
Hey Miss Girl is very fond of Child!
Listening to: Umbrella and Mr Newsman - Dir en Grey
These songs make me want to head-bang, drink beer and watch soccer. Okay, Umbrella makes me want to head bang, drink beer and watch soccer. If it's possible, Mr Newsman makes me feel angsty at some parts, wheras Umbrella is the ULTIMATE feel gooder. It makes me wanna NOT CARE and go YAY YAY YAY.
I just realized that Mr Newsman has English in it! And Umbrella too!
You know, it all likelihood Kyo would fail his English Oral examination. XD For some reason it makes my lousy marks seems much better. Plus he drops prepositions!
Let's see, today sucked in the morning cos I didn't have enough sleep and the bed was soooo comfy I really didn't want to wake up. It was so nice and soft and ahhhh...*looks dreamily* Perfect. Woke up disgruntled and realized that school would be equally bad. Sure enough, we checked through our exam papers and I did terribly for most. My English dropped from a B3 to a C5! The Social Studies paper dropped from an A2 to a B4 and Physics dropped from A1 to B4 >.< The only thing good that happened was E Math which rose from a F9 to C5. XD XD
Waited for school to end, and went out with Auddy and Neko.
We watched Shrek 2 together and it was really good! I really want a copy of the transcript. There's so many word/image puns. Like the Far Far Away looking like Los Angeles Beverly Hills, the Starbucks, Marilyn Monore...etc. Puss in Boots was SO CUTE~ Oh man...the goo goo eyes made me want to melt and go awww........And the devotion that Shrek has for Fiona is touching. Great movie, great Nachos (we shared) EXTRA CHEESE! :P
Wore my oversized shirt cos I was kinda cold inside the theatre, quite nice despite the horrible school design. Honestly the school has no taste. Whatever. Went to HMV, no sign of my Macabre or Audy's Kisou. *sighs* Slow ne...I was so happy and genki ^_________^ Ran and jumped most of the way ^______________^ Had coconut icecream and went to Kino~ Nothing much, just Tora's weird behaviour. Example as shown:
-Flash Picture of Miyavi
Neko: Mi! Mi! Mi! Mi! Mi! (con'td for all 5 pages)
-Flash Picture of hide
Neko: Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! (con'td for 5 pages)
-Flash Picture of Miyavi
Neko: Mi! Mi! Mi! Mi! Mi! (con'td)
-Flash picture of Ed from FMA
Neko: Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
Get what I mean?
LOL.
Walked back to the MRT station and it was a really great day. ^^ What more could I want? It's the company that is important. For instance, the past few days has been disgustingly hot. Yet I don't go into the air-conditioned Libarary simply because the company there is poor. I'm not interested in lipstick brands, OC or all that sort of thing and I feel really uncomfortable around Judith, Elsa, Natasha and Kim. So I stick to my swelteringly hot classroom.
It's the company that counts.
Tomorrow there's a Walkathon (arragh! 8km!) and it's at 7.30am in the morning! >.< Yuck.
Interestingly enough, Mr Newsman proves my theory that Kyo Will Never Speak Good English. Chorus, here's what he actually SAYS:
In My Head Blue Fish Has Died
Can Not find Reason Why Am Living?
I swear what he writes and what he says are 2 different things. God knows how long it took me to realize they were English!!!! LOL. I should stop picking on him. Really.
Anyhow, I have a Gackt x Hyde for a certain Kyrou-san
Enjoy!
Bouillabaisse
PS. Links to A Place of Your Own is in the entry below.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:22 p.m.+
Beware, contains insane amounts of angst.
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:10 p.m.+
Listening to: Umbrella
WA-A-A!!!!! *sings*AHHHH I WANT TO BE A OVERWORKED UNDERPAID ROADIE!!!!!!
I don't care about my future!!!!
XD XD XD XD
Watched Blitz Day 4 (out of 5) and I LOVE KAORU'S SHIRT! SHINYA HAS NICE ARMS! KYO MADE ME CRY!
The opening songs made me really angsty and I started to cry. Like cry cry cry, tears rolling down my cheeks sort of cry. LALALALA~~ HIGH~
Today actually started out depressingly. Firstly, I found out I wasn't in the Lit competition and that was kinda disappointing. Oh well. It doesn't matter. It just makes me feel that I'll never be much of anything no matter what people say.......Yea yea, you can say what you like. But the truth is, (and that's absolute) is that the teachers don't trust me enough.
Depressing huh?
I'm annoyed at myself for wanting to do it.
Rule 101# Don't EVER fall you dimwit.
I put myself up for it. *sighs* Dumb tsu..
Rosemary skipped school so I ended up placating Mr Tan, collecting forms and arranging filming groups for this Saturday's walkathon. I still have the camp to type out tonight. Can you imagine? No actually, you can't.
Okay. Merry mp3s.
Kohakuiro no Ballad
Tasogare Resutorant
PS. Check back at 11 for fics.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:02 p.m.+
Listening to: Tasogare Restaurent-Merry.
People really underestimate this band. It's a pity, because the drums are fairly good and the guitar makes me happy in a head-banging way and they're -consistent-. Very good, yurameki just happens to be a plus.
Let's see......went to school still dueling with myself. Decided not to go out with Audy, and went home instead. I didn't realize how tired I was until I woke up an hour later on the paraquet floor. I fell asleep on the floor! LOL. Felt much better, showered and had an easy lunch. Still felt kinda moody and over-contemplative so I drank a can of coke and half a bar Snickers.
Spent quality time with my sis. That usually means switching on the air conditioning secretly, and watching TV together while talking about nothing and making shadow puppets using windows and sunlight. *giggles* All in all, the snake ate the bunny 3 times, the man fell into the hole 2 times and the chicken ate the worm once. LOL. Inanity is the joy of my life.
Downloaded some Deadman songs. Sakura no Ame (God I love this song), Lunchbox and Obere(?) Sakana.
I've noticed that Deadman and Merry sound alot alike. It's the voice. I swear they have twin vocalists. Want a good example? Sakura no Ame which sounds like Kohakuiro no Ballad. Strangely compelling and fascinating to listen to when I'm bored.
I swear there's nothing more fun than shouting "RESU-TORRANT" at the top of your voice. *bugs people to download it*
It's Great! It's Catchy! It sounds like a 7-11 pickup line! And MacDonalds'!
Tried to write today, but my thoughts are far to diffused to be congealed and collected into a solid piece of work. It's this kinda of days where I walk around the house restlessly waiting for the strike of genius and the "a-ha!" and type faster than you can say "Macintosh." LOL. It's this kind of day where I drink lots of tea and eat lots of sugar and wait and wait and wait for my thoughts to settle and produce a coherent piece of work.
After all, professional pride is at stake.
Hmnnn......Ran through a mental list of things to do and realized I haven't completed as much as I said I would. Damn I'm a slacker....LOL. Either that or I'm too busy listening to music. Merry rocks. That's it. Next entry expect Merry mp3s.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:21 p.m.+
Listening to: My sis playing Guilty Gear XX
Waiiiii~~~~~I feel happy and genki and drunk.
Went shopping today and bought 2 visual kei shirts and books! Lots of books! Went to Far East and saw many ugly things and many pretty people.
I feel drunk.....
Drunk with happiness.
I'm going to Europe in November~~~~~ But I'm sad to leave when everyone is coming back. Oh well, I won't be gone for long.
Felt strange today. Like eternal snow falling in snowflake lace in grey skies singing with white. Like bubbles of champange rising up above golden liquid into meaningless bursts of happiness.
I feel so....buttery.
Talked to Auddy which made me hentai and lead to THIS. It's an NC-17, Krad x Daisuke story that is NEARLY PWP. Thus I shall say I was corrupted.
Then I realized my ass hurt.
Why does it hurt you ask?
It seems that when I write or read yaoi, there's poetic justice involved (read: irony). My ass hurts because I tend to slouch, A LOT. And the chair is hard and made of wood, and I sit on my spine/tailbone and that's why my ass hurts.
ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.
So daaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Kaoru-san is nicee...
love dovey
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:32 p.m.+
A Place of Your Own Chapter 8
Link: Chapter 8
Because I took so darn long, and you might have forgotten (I did!).
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 12:45 a.m.+
Listening to: Taiyou no Ao
I'm still happy and contented. Well, sort of.
Woke up at 1pm and read Flowers for Algernon which placed me in a contemplative mood the whole day. It's a really good book for thinking. Changed and went for Aikido.
I actually don't really like/ dislike Aikido. When it makes sense it's alright. When it doesn't it just annoys me. Not to mention 3/4 of the class consists of the very children Audy likes to kill. Cute girls and boys from 7-11.I hate being treated like a child.
Oh, I found of the guy's name was Ian.
But somehow or other, I'm just not interested in dating anyone.
Isn't it strange?
I use to like being in love. I was problably more in love with love than the person self. Now I'm not even interested. Am I growing jaded and cynical? Jaded light from the sun
Went out with my father, which was dull and deary. I tried not to be impolite, but it *is* annoying when he can't even remember that your exams have started or are over. Watched a boring, trying to be arty movie about 2 close friends called Blood Brothers, or something like that. Sad to say, it just reminded me of a Badly Done Fanfic. Like your typical Slient!Kaoru x Slut!Toshiya or your Slient!Deadly!Aya Fujimiya x Slutty!Slacker!Yohji Kudou.
I was so bored I think I slept halfway.
I'm just dreaming....The sky sometimes is the same shade as Mircosoft Windows Wallpaper...Makes you think of reality and the shiftyness of it. I think I know the solution to the Matrix. I know the answer to it. I know what is real and what is not. It's a shifty thing, Matrices.
I Think Therefore I am.
That's the answer to the Maze. That's the answer to the games. That's the answer to reality.
I can only trust my own concious. I can certify I'm real, and that my thoughts are my action and that they are MINE. But I can't certify that You're Real, and that you're not some alien or someone taking control of you to use me or what nots.I can't say for sure if you're real.
But I think therefore I know I am.
One of life's mysteries solved. And yet another puzzle comes upon...
If I am real and you might not be, why do I trust you?
I suppose it's called Human Stupidity.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:45 p.m.+
I'm just wondering about what Kaoru-san/Kyrou-sam said.....I don't know why, but small things do tend to bug me. They just DO.
Three Questions:
1. Why do all of you seem to have a misconception about me?
2.Why can't you understand that being warm and friendly is not the same as having my trust?
3.Why do you like me so much?
I'm scared actually. I don't know why some people know more about me than even I do. Like that incident when I lost my notebook. Some people were at the bus stop gossiping about me losing my notebook (gee, such a BIG thing) and Helena was going, "I know all about it, I'm in her class" what nots. What so interesting about my life that all of you want to know about?
I'm rather frightened.
It seems like everyone knows I like Yoshiki. How can that be? I can promise you that the people who know how I truly feel is barely a handful, more like a fingerful. My "like" and your "like" are different types of "like." I'm not always genki or hyperactive so why does everyone think I am?
It's not even fun to hate you anymore because you don't hate me back.
+tsu waited for you at 11:10 p.m.+
Listening to: Merry- Kohakuiro no Ballad, Merry-Tasogure Restaurent
MERRY! Merry is nice ^^ Actually it's wonderfully fantastically nice. Exception~al! XD
Music I can stone and feel genki to.
Okay! Let's start with today~
A Math
It wasn't too bad really, I could do like uhh...1/2 the question most of the time. I couldn't remember a darn thing about Intergration but I could remember Binomial Theorem and most of the graph calculations. I skipped anything that took me too long, like Trigo Identities and such but I did the radinns and displacement questions.
I'm just hoping for an improvement, not a pass.
Zatoichi
Skipped hymn pratice and took a bus to Orchard Cineleisure to watch a movie. Half of the schools in Singapore were there and it's so funny! Like Inter-School excursions or something. Nearly everyone wanted to watch Troy, which is because of Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt in a skirt. Just to be contary, Audy and I decided to watch some weird Japanese fighting movie about a blind swordsman.
It turned out to be a FANTASTIC movie.
Good camera angles, great music, well-rounded characters and strong plot with a twist. The music was particulary good, and it helped the story move along without being draggy. Transitional angles by using fade ins and motions gave the movie a kinnestatic feel to it, movement.
In particular, I felt that the siblings were realistically potrayed. Osei/Seitaro is the perfect obediant younger brother with a funky sense of humour (check out the bath scene!) and he's also very pretty. The older sister has all the angst and inner deliemmas and she's just COOL. Plain and simple. I liked all the characters~ Even the idiot neighbour's son, LOL.
My favourite part is the ending though! Great music! (someone go get the soundtrack!)
Taka/Kino/Far East
Hopped over to Kino freezing cold. The air conditioning in the cinema was FREEZING. Didn't find anything interesting and Audy wanted Fool's Mate so we went to Far East Plaza. Nothing much at Shibuya so we just hung around.
Then we found this really cool bookshop filled with rows and rows of English Literature and Classical History selling at the price of SEVEN DOLLARS EACH! I saw Thomas Hardy lying alongside Oscar Wilde who was leaning on the Bronte Sisters. Darwin was sitting happily next to Sigmund Freud and William Wordsworth. Somerset Manghuan stoned while DH Lawerence and Graham Greene vied for a place on my lap.
Perfectly heavenly.
Then we met the nameless stranger.......
Nameles Stranger
He started talking to me first, asking if it was my first time here. Then we discussed various books and such ^^ Really nice guy. He works for Philps, marketing/shareholding I think at Raffles City. He has a son and comes here every week.
Fairly interesting fellow.
And amazingly calm and unfazable. When Audy declared that I liked uhh..older men he was like "No, I'm sure it's perfectly alright." I talked about music and rock and utter rubbish and he was STILL unfazable. Is there such thing as TOO open minded?
Talked to him for about 1 1/2 hours and I -STILL- didn't know his name! LOL. It's pretty funny, but I'll rather if I didn't know who he was. It spoils the chance of it, the karma of it, the joy of finding an unexpected bookshop with an unexpected friend. Yes, friend. Because I know he was a really nice guy.
It's almost as fun as finding an unexpected book~
Backwards
Went back to Taka so that Audy could post her letter to Lavender no Heya who sells cheap! cheap! Dir en Grey stuff. Bought lemonade which was bloody sour and concentrated >.< But Audy didn't mind it, and even complained it wasn't sour! I swear her tongue is immune.....Went home, showered and read fics.
LOL, my sis is bugging me to write Sol x Ky-Kisuke fics.
I'm laughing sis~ LOL.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:48 p.m.+
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