Part 2
Someone once told me that if you were about to say something uncharitable, don't say it at all. And right now, all I can think of is very uncharitable thoughts.
I'm pissed about UCAS, feeling extremely alone after it happened and now generally feeling that Feb is about to be the MOST fucked up month of the year. In general, I hate my birthday because every single bad thing has happened on it: Econs test, Chinese test, English test, ParentTeacher Meetings, fighting with audy, getting sick....and NOW A level results. Or rather, the week before.
Even worse, now is CNY = my most hated season of the year. I have a love/hate relationship with CNY. The "love" part is the food - pineapple tarts, kueh lapis and all other delicious stuff. The "hate" part is that this year for some godforsakened reason my frikkin' extended relatives are flying down to meet us. As if my *current* relatives aren't bad enough. There's mah-mah, whose touch makes me shudder and piercing high voice irritates the hell out of me. There's my two blank faced cousins who are so irritatingly perfect and stoned, I wish they really were sculpture. There's uncle Jordon and his two spoilt kids - symbolizing everything I detest about the bourgeoise; loudvoiced, goldwearing, moneyhungry chauvenist who spoils his son shamelessly and talks loudly about Him, Himself and His Things. God I hate CNY.
To add to that, I don't earn as much as others do, because I don't visit any friends' places at all. I'm stuck visiting my mom's side, my dad's side, my dad's side with mom and our own dinner. All in all, I think we have 4 CNY dinners a year.
And THIS year, they decided to add more. Gee.
I'm also pissed off at UCAS. Pissed, not whiny (no matter what audy says). She says I'm whining, but that's because she's never taken A levels and thinks it's all a joke. It's like absolute horror and terror distilled into 1839663647secs. I'm pissed off because QM cut off point was 300, and I got 340 and it was supposed to be my insurance case but they rejected me. So all I'm left with is City as my insurance, but it seems like fuck - I'm really going to have to get that AAB if not I'll end up wasting a year.
It's really a waste, because life is much shorter than you think (and always longer than you imagined)
I have no wish to go Lasalle or Poly or retake my A levels again - so don't even TALK to me about alternatives. I don't want to go Lasalle because I can't succeed there. Period. I like art, but I'm frikkin' practical by nature. There's no way you can change that part of me - ever. Which is why I would've never done what audy or sak has done, because I'm like that. And I *like* it that way. It took me a long time to realize it, but denying that part would be denying myself.
Although, sometimes I have the uncharitable wish and envy to do that too.
Duty calls though. And whatever it is, I'll do it.
Anyway I'm still pissed off at UCAS. Worse comes to worst - appeal or go somewhere else. There's Australia, and Canada still. (although, I have my heart set on QM.) When I did that fortune shaker thingy I asked if I would get into QM, and I got a 120% yes. So I took it for granted that it would be for Finance, but it seems not. There's a lot of decision to think of now - no matter what people say. What you do now is part of your future and some things really cannot change.
Let me give you an example:
All my life I've always wanted to be a doctor. Just a plain normal medical doctor. Then in secondary school, I wasted a year playing in sec2 and ended up in arts stream. I fought bitterly against it, and even took the pure science papers. In the end, during the principal meeting my mom refused to side me so I ended up doing sub chem/phy. This continued in JC, where if you did sub-science, you can only do ONE science subject. I just gave up. To get into medical school, you need double sciences.
See what I mean?
Those people who say the future is far away are liars.
I detest them, because if not I would've done my best to be a doctor.
It seems so fateful that my brother who wanted to be a lawyer became an engineer, the sister who wanted to be a doctor, ended up a lawyer. And last, but not least - the final sibling who wanted to be an enviromentalist, ended up a doctor.
I hate predestination.
I detest it.
I'm mentally tired, drained and in need to understanding but there's no one now. No one. That's why I want to go overseas so badly - I don't need to hang on to anyone here who doesn't want me, I can just make new friends with people who don't know me at all. I don't need to see the recognition - or reputation that preceeds me. I'm so desperate to get away it's almost comical, except that I'm as desperate as I feel.
I mean, you don't get it unless you walk into a room and feel a dozen pairs of eyes at you who know you from sight and rumours. You don't feel it unless you feel the snickers behind, the gossip and the hurtful words. I've learnt to ignore it, but doesn't mean that I don't want to get away from it.
I'll never be like audy - ever. That's a fact already. I can't do the social things like she can, and I feel awkward even talking to people I know. I'll never be able to just give up myself completely and dive headfirst into something I don't know - like the way she did when she went to poly. And no matter how much I detest family, I'll never be able to escape. It's no longer a matter of fighting, but acceptance and resignation. I don't have it in me to fight, I hate it. And I'll rather suffer than do it.
Which is why I don't understand why I end up doing law. I don't really have it in me to argue or perscute anyone, I can't do family law or criminal law without feeling guilty and tired. Am I predestined or what?
fuck it. goodnight.
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:19 p.m.+
descending gloom
on the western sky
burns yellow -
dust. dirt. pink'ed.
holds that finality
like
coming tomorrow.
+tsu waited for you at 06:51 p.m.+
Collusion course
I'm still a bit too heartsick to actually do more than stare at paint peeling. There's a lot of things to say - or actually, won't be said. It's kinda strange, but when I was younger everything came spilling out like no tomorrow but now....I don't even feel like discussing it with anyone.
Heard about Mrs Low's husband's death and........I don't know what to say. She was so....broken. Like everything about her was all cracked and fissured and so terribly fragile . As though like you're watching a broken glass on the floor, and you wince when you pick up the shards. Like that. And when I went for the funeral, all I could do was hold her and hug her......I couldn't even say "it's okay." Or maybe because I felt if I said that, I would be lying and I hate it when people offer nonsense like that. I hate it when they say "time will heal" or "it's okay" or the most irritating "I know what you're feeling." How could you? How could I? All I could do was wish that she would take care of herself and hug her and hope that everything would be alright.
She just looked/felt so.....broken.
She couldn't even stand properly, as though the blow physically, mentally and emotionally bent her down.
Drowned my feelings in dessert (ichigo snow = <3). I didn't really pay attention to what everyone said - but I just didn't want to think about it. I saw Mrs Alex and a couple of other teachers/people I recognized but I don't know.....I don't feel close to anyone except maybe Mrs Alex. I came not to honour his memory, but I came because of Mrs Low. That she was one of the people who had great belief in me, even when I didn't believe myself. It's just so terrible to see someone you care about so deeply hurt. I wanted so badly to help her, but it's not my place to.....and really, there's no way I can help.
but...I just wanted to try. To at least hug her and hold her and try.....
Then more news. Apparently I'm tied for the next few weeks - my *extended* relatives are coming over to SG (sorry Kuro >__< that's why I can't see you on Fri) and I'm NOT looking forward to it. My feelings regarding my extended relatives are very clear. I don't hate/love them - I simply avoid. However, duty does what duty does. I am *not* looking forward to it however. Their behaviour in the past hasn't endeared them to me the slightest.....you can call me a grudge-holder, but honestly, they deserve it.
Besides that, I have the final payments for the courier order to clear before CNY. For those people involved, please contact me ASAP.
I just feel very very tired and alone.
A list of uncharitable thoughts crawl across
hiding in dark cervices
haunting during daylight hours
taste like salt, taste like aluminium
taste like fear.
To voice them would be to make them real.
Anyway, I springcleaned my bookshelf and planning to sell off some books soon. If you need any, please drop me a line.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:57 p.m.+
.
I'm too tired to talk.
Just........emotionally drained.
I don't want to talk either.
Maybe tomorrow, okay?
I just want to be left alone right now.
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:28 p.m.+
butterflews
Listening to: Daite Senorita~
Saturday
Woke up late, got roped into making milk tea which thankfully, is the kind of thing I can still make when halfawake and yawning. Cyn came earliest yay~ the only one on time LOL. The Sharon sent me an sms to say she was pang-sehing me again. I think like, I'm never going to see her ever again.
Everyone came soon after, surprisingly Sak wasn't the latest but Kiwi was....HOMZ. Congrats SAK! *huggles* Anyway, fiddled with that cardboard thingy and tampons (seriously, it was damned funny when we were peering over the instructions) then went swimming which was cold! But it was fun! And splashed people with WATER lots then a new nickname for Nagase! He's now......TOMO-YAYA. Doesn't that sound adorable????<3<3<3<3<3
Then when we (or rather, I) got too cold/cake-hungry, went upstairs for lunch. ZOMG we ate so much bread then had cake. I love cake! Cake is wonderful! I ate 2 slices only! Isn't that really good of me? I only had 2 when I could've had moreeeeeeeeeee.....zomg if there's any left I really want it. I love strawberry cake the most<3 Especially when it's spongy and soft and filled with chantilly cream and covered with strawberries with flakey almonds on the side<3<3<3.......
Just thinking about it makes me hungry :x
Watched Kurosagi, which was this Yamapi drama that was kinda funny, kinda angsty. Or maybe it's funny cos it's angsty. I couldn't stand Hachi (Yukari) though....actually, I couldn't stand both the female leads. GAWD. It's so sterotypical bad I feel horrible for being a girl....like ashamed for being of the same gender.
Walked them out, and just had fun~
It was such a slacky, happy day~
Like the feeling of not-doing, not-caring, not-knowing
And the only thing that mattered was the wind
and sky, and the smiling feeling inside you
That was so wonderful, it made you forget it was only temporary.
---------------------
Sunday
Woke up late, went shopping in a *super*crowded Orchard Road to buy stuff for Zhuhai. Basically, ran errands. Got some really good deals - I have 1 mambo cardigan in bright turqoise, 2 Fox sweaters and it was all on 50% discount! I really like the pink one best though, it's so cute it could almost be loli. Plus it's fuzzy and has a hood too.
Went to Taka, checked out Kino for mom's diary and got myself GLB 18 which has AP JSK patterns! ZOMG! And it's a princess JSK one too....the one with bustles, butt-ruffles, front ribbon and loads of cupcakey stuff. Also had a Union Jack shirt, Elements Vest and MAM collar patterns. Unfortunately, it isn't like gosurori so I couldn't figure the head or tail of it. 'Sides, I think I'll lend the patterns to sak. She might be starting her sewing thing soon, so she'll need it more than I would.
Got slippers (fuzzy pink ones!) from Taka B1 which was 20% off, then checked out the CNY fair. ZOMG. They had dan gun (HK style egg rolls) and white fungus dessert and almond drink. Plus, my favourite taiwanese pinapple cakes!<3<3<3 I think once I can figure how to go HK - life will be okay. I love den dan (egg custard), lut zi dan kou (chestnut cake), heng yen tong (almond soup) and all that kinds of stuff. I even like the white fungus with quail egg and ginger ^^ my siblings hate this kind of stuff though.....then again, I like the taste of herbal soups. For me, it actually tastes sweet.
I think it's a genetics thing?
Apparently, people cannot taste the same thing as another
So I problably inherited my mom's taste for it
As far as I know, my brother doesn't like it and my sis doesn't love it.
Oh yeah, sis? The Hokkaido fair has started and ZOMG. CHIRAZUSHI. MILK ICECREAM. AZUKI-PAN. (either that, or we drag dad to eat Japanese food the next time we see him). It's so terrible how I crave food sometimes LOL >_< I'm not some world-class detective that can eat and not be fat. BAH.
Anyway, kor's kicking me out.
Talk more tomorrow, maybe.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:34 p.m.+
Platform
Woke up rather early (by my standards), went to visit Mr James. Lots of complicated things discussed - the main thrust of it being that I shouldn't worry too much because the future isn't set in stone and that despite all my guilt, I haven't really done anything wrong.
I mean, I had suspicions that he was disappointed in me, and in that, I was disappointed with myself. It's hard to explain but basically even though he didn't blame me for it, I felt like I was "selling out" being an artist and doing something like Finance instead. Even now when I pass Art Friend I feel this twinge of sadness of something being over and broken - days of sniffing turpentine and browsing colours, or just grabbing a big canvas and ogling over brushes. The fact that I pass it without going in, already says something. *sighs*
But it's hard to explain y'know?
Like something you love, will no longer be the same again.
Anyway met Mr James' and in guilty atonement - bought him lunch. If you want to be really deep about the whole thing, you could say that he symbolized my real interest in art - after all, he started me on oils and watercolour. In that, he is my greatest mentor. So it's like....I was afraid that he was angry with me for not going to St Martins', at the same time, even though I *did* disappoint him, I'm glad that he still views me as a friend/student. I mean, he doesn't hold it against me.
....If it makes sense, that makes me feel even worse :x
But we talked a lot, and I think - maybe, know - what to do now.
Perhaps, it's okay.
It's okay to change, to do something else
That the dream you cling with teeth, claws and fangs
is one for a child - childhood only;
because....do wishes change?
or maybe
how they are set up?
But. Duty calls.
Anyway, crypticism aside - yesterday wasn't bad. Went to Provence after lunch with Mr James, to return back my cute uniform and ask about the rest of my wages. Everyone's still there at Provence~ it feels nice to be back there, although I came at the wrong time for milk pan (if not I would buy for sis). Said hi to everyone, then Konno-san made a weird comment that my hands felt like her daughter's o.O~ well, I guess it's a compliment in a sense?
Went home soon after and slacked around until 5pm, changed then went to meet Natz at City Hall. ZOMG IT'S BEEN SO LONG! It was so funny though, we met in the toilet - hahahaha...the apporiately ironic. Had dinner at the foodcourt and had the most blandest tasting chye tau kueh (carrot cake) EVER with the vilest tasting chilli. In the end, we just stole the chilli from the chicken rice stall. Reminiscened about our school days, talked about work and just caught up with each other - kinda fun!
Then we headed downstairs where she showed me the awesomely longest Dount queue, walked around the area, browsed at MPH (and all the funky sections! Adult Interest LOL! Edutainment LOL!) then had Bread Papa for dessert~ yummm~~~~~~~~~~
Went home, and totally forgot it was Thaipusam so was stuck in a jam. It was kinda cool though, seeing all the people in trances and dancing. It's one of the more "wilder" Hindu festivals were originally just purely for "power", not exactly worship. (For those insane scholarly geeks - Vamachara or the "left" hand route as opposed to the "right".) I haven't really seen the festival before up close, I'm more of the scholarly-view-facts type so it was interesting to see how the music rhythm helped hold the trance and the strange immunity to pain.
I remember; how the man with the drums stood in front of the spinning other, with the needles piercing his waist, the slow drugged dance of his feet, his face and arms raised in the air and the low tuneless moan of estastic worship against the loud sounds of cheering, jostling crowds against the night. The sway of that jangly offering, covered with flowers and glowstick lights (how modern, I thought), towering as he spun more wildly - but never feorciously, more like a drunken dance to music that only he could hear.
Reached home around 10.30pm, slacked a bit then went to sleep.
----------------------------------
I'm kinda excited for tomorrow - I've never had a birthday party before mainly because it fell on the most awkward days (eg. Common Test, Midterm tests etc) and also, I never really had the friends to celebrate it. Even in secondary school, most of the time I would rather skip school than celebrate my birthday (also, audy hated birthdays) So I never did celebrate it - at most, it was cake.
And now zomg~~~~~~~ I'm finally having like - other people on my birthday! (how cool, lol) Although, at 19 it's kinda late....
Anyway I look forward to tomorrow ^^
So please don't be late!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:34 p.m.+
My Baby Shot Me Down
Ahhh...BTSSB *sighs dramamtically* Just when I've nearly given you up in favour of Beth, AP and ETC, you come and bite me in the ass again - like you did with that alice chess print (which I still can't find :x).
I mean, I was being fair - for months you produced weird stuff like that yellow tartan monstrousity or the FUSCHIA!pink jumper from hell or worst of all - the Obnoxious I-Am-Brand jsk, which was totally made of bad taste. And YET, even when Kurokaze gave up on you, I held on.
I haven't even said anything about your pattern recylcing habits
Then you come and blast me shitless with your *NEW* items, like this cream princess JSK and particularly the Marie Antoniette JSK in blue and expect me to fall immediately back into your arms like a grateful lover. HUR HUR HUR. Even more painfully, you create EXTREMELY tiny bust-sizing to add to my woe....I mean, 82cm bust????? Only Sak would be able to fit into it ;_;
We're not going to even say anything about how your waist sizing is disproportionate to your bust. I mean, seriously.....There's nothing like being able to fit the waist, knowing that your boobs are too large to go in.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME BABY?
WAS I EVER UNFAITHFUL FOR YOU?
DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO CRY GOTHIC (eyeliner) TEARS OF WOE?
DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO RUN INTO THE COMFORTING ARMS OF MOITIE, BETH AND AP?
Even VICTORIAN MAIDEN has a more accomadating bust than you!!!!!!!!! T_____________________T
So I'm just sayin'
I did so much for you.
Maybe you should either:
1. Make bigger bust sizing
2. Bring back the Alice Chess Print
If not, you're just ONE BIG MEANIE.
love (and a pout)
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 03:54 p.m.+
And the world is a whorly place made of ....cupcakes!
Sak has just induced me to buy shoes...ZOMG. Anyway I am getting this in black and this in white. Even though, I really want pink :x But pink is unreasonable unless you're going to wear a lot of sweet stuff. And as much as I like sweet stuff, I generally prefer a classical look. (which means I should've gotten sandals. damn. but the meta-rips are TOO CUTE.)
Went to the bank, cashed my cheque, ordered strawberry cake for Sat, chatted with Alicia at Borders (zomg she looked so tired >_>) and walked around looking for winter wear. It's like totally phailure to find winter wear in Singapore. As in PHAILUREZ. When asked, salespeople give you the "WTF" expression as though you are an eskimo. And when you patiently explain you're travelling, they give you the sympathetic "ZOMG j00 POOR SOD" expression.
As far as I know, only Billabong sells hoodies.
Everywhere else, it's like too thin, too expensive.
And NO WHERE sells sweater-pullovers.
NO. WHERE.
Going to meet Mr James, visit Provence (aka. return uniform) and have dinner with Natz. That reminds me, bring her Christmas present. Oh yeah, when ordering the cake - ALL THE MOW ICECREAM IS SOLD OUT. I was so sad, I bought myself sushi T____T
Talking about sushi, I hope the next tea party will be sushi. Gawd. Why does everyone want to have afternoon tea?!?! It's so hard to find a place that is under 30, sits 30 and is reasonably close to town. INSANITY. You people have such high standards kz. Anyway I'm sad/hopefully that more people will take "Japanese lunch" as an option. Mou~~ I'm dying to eat chirazushi at Chiyoutose. Anyway, information about the tea party in June: here
I like making pretty banners and stuff~
Hopefully this time round EVERYONE will RSVP
So I can make invites prettily~
Last time round was a mess
Kinda settled the Japan trip, we've decided more or less to go from 6th July to 11th July - which conicides perfectly with Hozuki-ichi festival at Sensoji. Originally we thought of catching Natsu Matsuri and Hanabi, but it's too late for the sales, and that's what we're really after. 'Sides, Hozuki-ichi is apparently one of those "important" days - where going then is equal to 46,000 days of prayer. Kinda like a shortcut up the karmic wheel. ZOMG +++KARMIC POINTS.
Anyway it's still tentative, I'm hoping that the brand blogs will release more info on as summer approaches. It's hard to plan anything without knowing exact dates.
More or less the confirmed people going will be me, sak and ochibi. I'm not sure about Angelzhou - she seems to only want Mary Magdelene stuff, in which she's better off with a courier service. Plus I'm not sure if we have "meshing" tastes. With Ochibi, I'm more or less sure of similar taste - particularly since I've intro-ed her to the Amazing World of Emikyu(!). Yeah. So.
I'm slightly offended at the way people take me in HK = their free tour guide. Particularly Asami's behaviour. Look, I'm a working, happy adolscent who are looking for *equally* independant people for maybe a cup of tea, some cake and shopping. I'm NOT your free tourguide, and I'm very offended by you treating me as one. I don't want to lead your friends around town, or *have to* show you - the way you insinuate makes it sound like it's an absolutely nessescity for me to bring you around. It's not my obligation, and you shouldn't assume. Not to mention that the way you expect me to take a FRIKKIN' DAY OFF just FOR YOU is unreasonable. Shut up, grow up or just leave.
*sighs huffily*
Yeah well, she managed to annoy me on MSN.
But. Kids. Can't expect them to be civilized when they can't even type properly.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 12:13 a.m.+
Update!
Hey all! You're cordially invited to my sis' and I's birthday party on this Saturday, Feb 3rd. It's a swimming + lunch party - so please bring extra clothing!:D We'll spend an afternoon of lazing around, watching J-dramas, swimming and eating sandwhiches.
Please tell us in advance if you can't make it!
cheers,
tsu
guestlist
Cyn
Mon
Kiwi
Sak*(who actually belongs to both our sides hah!)
Audy
Alicia
Kuro
Alex(?)
We're trying to limit the guestlist to people we actually know quite well and are comfortable with - plus we're capping it at 10 people only.
Anyways, lots to say - but I don't want a repeat of LJ-wangst!fest so I'll give you all the conclusions tomorrow. Oh yeah, if you want to give me a birthday present - please bring me something I need for China! >_< hahahaha or anything you like really.
Honestly though, this list is also for me - I really need to do some rush shopping/banking/magic because OMG I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH COTTON WINTER SWEATERS. Like, comfy ones. Particularly hoodies. Aw crap - I wish I bought those Putumayo ones now. *wistful expression* But I really like my dress so.....ZOMG TIME TO RUSH DOWN TO CHEAP PLACES AND GET A PLAIN SWEATER.
stuff I need/need to buy soon
1. SWEATER (oh my god i don't have enough winter clothes!)
2. long sleeved t-shirts
3. comfy cloth slippers! (but pls, not everyone)
4. books/book vouchers
5. portable speakers
6. CD-Rs! (many many many!)
7. socks (thick, ankle ones. cheap = good)
8. moisturizer/lip balm (zomg skin peelage = bad. i'll buy myself though)
9. INTERNATIONAL CALLING CARD.
10. DEBIT CARD. if not i'll be frikkin' broke in HK. as in, bank inaccessible. fuck.
Yeah if you want to know - today was my last day of work in Provence, tomorrow I'm rushing down to POSB and calling Sun Moulin to order a strawberry cake. Thursday I'm going to meet Mr James, drop buy Provence and return my (cute) uniform, buy stuff for the party. Friday, party prep: make drinks, slice stuff, chuck into fridge. Saturday: party day. Sunday: ZOMG GO BUY SWEATERS NOW KZ BEFORE I FREEZE IN CHINA.
*slowly freezes*
*popsicles*
*cracking sound*
*falls over*
IT'S LIKE 10 DEGREES THERE KZ.
I seriously need to cut my pants (fuck did I grow shorter?) and buy another pair too. Preferably, cheap. And black sweaters. Slouchy black sweaters. With no weird glitterly shit. Made of cotton. And doesn't look too bad for work because I'm going to frikkin be running around supervising people to make sure they clean properly etc etc and I do NOT want to dirty my precious skirts. I'll bring ONE! skirt. Just in case I need to make a good impression. Okay. I really want to sleep.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 01:30 a.m.+
Hey Now
It's final -
I'll be leaving for Zhuhai on the 20th Feb
But before I leave, I have a million and one things to do. First off, tomorrow I need to tell Provence that I'm going to resign on the 16th Feb. Next is I need to go to the bank, open a debit card account. Third is I need to get winter wear because it'll be 10 degrees in Zhuhai. Finally - I need to say goodbye to everyone.
3 months.
Will NOT feel like 3 years.
I'll be in the admin department ensuring that no one's cheating - there's alot of corruption in China, and I'm supposed to ensure no one steals from the company. Also, I'm to ensure that everyone does a good job and is of quality. Zhuhai is suffering from a bit of disEOS I guess - not enough managers, thus not lowest point of LRAC. *rambles on econs* Anyway, it's a good oppotunity to learn. The pay's not to sniff at either, $1800/month plus overseas allowance ($20/day). Also, I report to dad and my boss, who's in charge of admin/HR (particularly if someone's cheating).To top it off, I can go to HK on weekends, which allows me close contact with my Chestnut Cake and shopping.
Dad's offered to set up a computer in his office so that I can use, so that means I can keep in contact with you all ^^ I'm really happy about that particularly.
In any case, all my (superfleuous) reasons for not-going is won over by my own personal logic. I can't fight logic. It just is. I'll be really stupid or totally prejudiced if I didn't go.
Doesn't stop me from missing everyone though ;_;
Problably I'll be bringing bearbear, my blanket, a bunch of books/cookbooks, some DVDs and a good chinese-english electronic dictionary. Oh! and slippers! I remember they had tiles and it was cold. YESH. Monokuroboo slippers<3!
Since I'm leaving so early though, I would like to celebrate my sis and my birthday much earlier ^^ is that alright with everyone?
-------------------
Sak pangseh'ed me, went out with Sis and Cyn. Mow icecream is really good, shopped around Far East Plaza for a bag and went to Kindo (I'm repeating this backwards). Aya's new bag is really nice, must remember to claim $39.90 from Mom. Also had mont blanc cake - Isetan shopping centre sells tiny version of it! Doesn't taste too bad, but it's too sweet and has an aftertaste. Not artifical though, but I think it's too sweet till it becomes bitter-ish.
And they add too much of marron syrup. Ugh.
Weather is so dull and rainy.
I HATES this kind of weather.
Dinner with dad, mah mah tagging along. Talked mostly about Zhuhai and all that - lots of stuff to settle after all. Had Mango pudding dessert~<3<3<3 Although, I wish they kept the older version which you could add the milk yourself and smash it in :D
Anyway there's lots of things to think over now
And I don't want to blog it until I feel it's ready
So for now, see ya all tomorrow!
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:11 p.m.+
Etherized
Listening to: Lily Chou Chou
It's like a pherehomic reading.
First love, first kiss - all that.
I think when I laid my eyes on it; snap! magic!
I fell in love
and listening to it........is like everything I dreamed.
It's like the way you know everything is right, you feel the rightness under your skin, the perfectness of understanding - even moreso than usual even if you can't put it down to words. It's everything you ever thought of about, everything you wanted to say but couldn't because you're too dumb, too awkward, too tongue-tied and mute. So you listen and watch it - and go "isn't that everything I saw in dream?"
That's how I feel about Lily ChouChou
The first time I heard of the film was pretty long ago, but I never lost interest (much like the way I'm still looking for a copy of The Reflective Skin). Then I heard the music......and my skin shivered and crawled and all I wanted to do was sprawl in it.
amongst the weeds
I lie -
the sky! the sky!
arms outspread
so large; is this tremendous blue
Something like that feeling. I get traintracks feelings too.
the windowed gaze I have
is from looking too much outside
to picture-perfect postcards moving
wondering;
if they were as ugly as mine
I might have found my replacement for DeG. It's hard to tell. But it's exciting yes? Exciting exciting~ It's like diving - no, falling all over again. It hits the way Big Bang Love should have, but didn't.
A doughnut of a heart
half dunked into cappocino
and the sad
empty
lonely
-O-
of
a
hole.
Big Bang Love. All about Lily Chou Chou. Why do I like Japanese directors? I think maybe it's the aesthetics. Like the way I thoroughly enjoy Wong Kar Wai films - I don't like things that move too much, or move more than they need to, or even move at all.
I haven't even seen it yet, but I'm already in love with it.
love
is the distantest illusion
that believes, hopes, dreams
in it's
etheral distance
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:55 p.m.+
What ever happens tomorrow
*sighs*
one million and one dozen logical reasons
but only one heartfelt one
I have so many reasons to go
And only one good - emotional, one
*sighs*
Provence. I didn't mind the low pay, the long hours, the dishwashing, the stuff I usually disliked most - washing, cleaning, clearing. I mean, Provence! It was my dream. To learn how to bake that gloriously wonderfully smelling bread, to serve it to others, to be part of an *honorable* bakery with standards to be proud of.
And then today.
[no I didn't get fired, if that's what you're thinking]
They want me to work in their new location at Clarke Quay. I haven't seen it yet, but Gary says it's basically a booth near the MRT station - they don't make bread, there's no waffy-nice-smell - it's basically a cafe to cater to office workers. Plus the hours are long; 11am - 11pm.
I just, for some reason, felt disappointed.
I really wanted to work in the bakery.
As a part of the process of making it.
In terms of counter-work, I've already mastered it.
There's nothing more for me to learn.
I don't know if I want to continue to work in Provence when there's no challenge, and no change. I hate stagnation. :( So I'm just really thinking - maybe I should work in China.
The Good
- Good learning experience
- Chance to suss out the general atmosphere/feeling
- Weekends in HK (VM! chestnut cake!)
- Nice on resume
- Brush up on Mandarin
- Teaches independence
- Good money
- Coperate atmosphere
- Challenging
- An oppotunity to learn
The Bad
- you're not there T_T
- internet only on weekends
-------------
I'm seriously considering to leave. Audy will be starting Year 3 in March, thus very busy so it's no difference whether I stay or go since she'll be neck-up with work. If I leave, I'll leave after the Chinese New Year week. Problably on the the first flight in March. Honestly, I could leave immediately (as in, next Monday). It's just that there's not much of a point working in Feb, since there's a 2-week holiday during CNY. On the other hand it might be a good idea.
Anyway it hinges all on tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm going to have a long talk with dad - suss out the pay, the timings, the type of work, accomadation...most importantly, how many months I'll be overseas. I'm hoping for a month or two - but he wants five. Most likely we'll compromise with 2.5 or 3.If he takes up my condition - my only condition is to work for 3 months max, I'll accept the job. I don't even mind a paycut to work for 3 months. Originally he promised 30% above highest market rate (that makes it $13/hr), but I don't mind working for $10/hr.
If not I'll simply work in Provence.
--------------------------------
On a lighter note, I'm beginning to like Jesus' Diamante, which is really really horrifying because it's like....$771! for a dress. T____T It's himegyaru, which makes it extreme in expensiveness.
ARGH MY BROTHER IS THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ***
STOP SHOWING OFF YOUR PSP KTHNXBAI
THINK MOITIE. THINK BOZ. THINK VM. THINK EMIKYU.
Anyway I'm going off now, it's almost dinnertime.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 05:05 p.m.+
Flaneur
Listening to: Toploader
Went to work today, I'm less sick now and moneymaking mood. But BAH I HATE WASHING THE DISHWASHER. Maybe I wash really clean or something, but I always end up with it. It's gross! (I'll rather wash the toilet) It's like stinky wet-poop, old-garbagey with the smell of dishes and metal and steam. That....oxidizing smell. Ugh. Not to mention after the dishwasher is clean, I just feel frikkin' dirty >_< Like EW-I-AM-NEVER-GONNA-CHEW-MY-NAILS dirty.
There's a new girl at work called Nozrin(sp?) who's from NJC, that brings the total number of JC people to 6! Most people here speak Mandarin, so I'm pretty sure my language is improving. They call me "tsu-tsu" because it's difficult for them to pronounce my English name (not that it's strange or hard, they're just not used to it).
Was so tired I took a bus back instead of walking. My knee hurts, even though I did stretching exercises afterwards. I did ballet for 10 years, and even though I didn't continue - I'm still pretty flexible. LOL! Today I tried the leg round my neck thing, and I can still do it! Surprise, surprise....It's really relaxing to do stretching exercises, I find that it calms me down, helps me review the day and lessens the day-after aches and pains. In particular, when I'm tired I hate noise. Even music. Any unnessescary sound of people talking, lyrics, music - is all noise to me. The most I can tolerate is the distant sound of traffic.
I think I'm peculiarly sound-sensitive. Like....does anyone get migraines from too much music? Recognize similar tunes by ear?(ie. Vertical Horizon's opening is similar to an anime ending song) Wakes up (full alertness) because of people snoring, handphone beeping, aircon rattles? I honestly can't sleep unless it is TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY QUIET.
PS. I will never marry a person who snores, simply because most likely it will irritate me so much that it's unlivable for me.
Working is hard......I'm contemplating on really going China to work - but I don't want to work 5 months there. I think 3 is more than enough already. If I work from March - May, I'll make a hefty $6900 without OT and that's really great. I won't need to work as long, and I can flanuer all I like.
When I was a kid, my ideal profession was a skilled one. Not professional, but skilled. When I say skilled, it's something like Medicine - everyone needs a doctor, no matter which country or what era. So medicine was a skill. Baking is also a skill. So is dressmaking and finance and law. Although nowadays law is more limited by country than say, medicine. The whole point of being a skilled employee instead of professional is really simple - you'll never be out of a job, you're not tied down by location and you get to work in "blocks"
For instance I know of a lawyer who works only 6 months in a year, takes 5 months off to go on holiday and 1 month to do por-bono work (free of charge). A normal employee like an auditor or manager or what-nots can't do that - if you want flexible timing, you need skills.
So my goal wasn't really to be high-achiever, but to do something like this.
Which brings me back to the point: If I follow my original philosophy of flexible timing, I really should go China. The first reason is that I need to be there, to suss out the people, tastes and courtesies. This could be useful when I want to set up business there. The second is that if I just leave for 3 months, I can have the rest free and thus more time with people. However, to maximize it - I need to time it in such a way that it coincides with audy's/sak's holidays.
Not to mention I think a change of atmosphere would revive my yurameki
I think, when CNY comes around the 19th - I'll decide. I need to know the terms and pay and hours first though, plus I need to get a debit card, setup an account that can be wired and check timings. Oh! And bother dad for a laptop so I can still talk online.
The crux factor is whether Provence will allow me to learn something new or not - because I've more or less learnt everything I can already. If they move me into baking, I'll stay. However, if they leave me with just counter work (which I know) - I'll go. My goal is not really to earn money, to to build as good a resume and as much as experience as I can before going uni.
I'm frightened - a little. But you know, you cannot show fear and just do it.
---------------
Yesterday auntie was sick, so I cooked lunch and made porridge for her (and cha-soba for myself). It's the Daiso $2 soba. Now I know why it's $2, the soba isn't as fine as the kind I buy from Medi-ya. When cooked, it has a slightly starchy film on the top, even though I washed it twice. Comparatively, the one at Mediya has a bite to it, and feels drier (which is correct). The noodles were al dente, but when bite - did not have the springyness noodles usually should have. Anyway, I think I'll use up this pack before going to Mediya. I'll need to check if they have chestnut puree too, and maybe try another new soba flavour (Sweet Potato flavour anyone?:D)
Surprisingly porridge isn't really hard to cook - for half a cup of raw rice, I used around 4.5 ricebowls of water. You basically put the rice in, add water and leave it to puff by itself whilst occasionally stirring so it doesn't stick at the bottom. I STILL don't like the taste of porridge though, unless I'm sick and my nose is blocked and I can't taste anything. It's not that I hate it, but rather that my sis likes hers plain, and I like mine with LOTS of stuff in it so it's difficult to come to a compromise.
Like, my porridge typically would have egg, broccoli, potato, minced chicken, fish slices, pork cubes, seasame, tsuyu, peanut and dried scallops. And if possible, I'll keep adding and adding and adding........
But there's nothing quite as comforting as soup
You know, the first time I heard Miso Soup I thought it was hilarious (and guessed the lyrics right too!) But I kinda understand now :D I mean, I don't think of my mother's loving tenderness, but I do think of home: clean sheets, open windows, velvety cushions and deep, sinking sofas and rainy days. I think of how comforting the warmth and taste is, the taste that I've been drinking all my life.
Although, I doubt I'll make those really slow, long-boiling stuff like pork rib soup.
Maybe when I'm uni, I'll make a litre of soup, the easy kind - potatoes, carrots, leeks, broccoli, sweetcorn, onions, mushrooms, strips of pork/beef, red dates etc, fry them then boil them into soup. I can eat it for a week. Like, noodles + soup, porridge with soup stock, rice + soup. Make my life easier, and easy to pack too. Thermos flask for the win!
*sighs*
I'm really tired now.....
Maybe I should go sleep soon
Anyway tomorrow I'm working, then Sat I'm free to go Bugis with Sak (and audy too if she wants). Then Sunday is another loooooooong day - 9hrs on my feet! And Tues + Wed I'm off again till Feb I guess.
Love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 09:00 p.m.+
Sick
I'm like totally absolutely sick
The full works of the meaning of the word.
Fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose
URGH I FEEL AWFUL NOT EVEN MY KOSHI ANPAN MAKES ME HAPPY D:
Well at least the worst of it was over, the fever *finally* broke around 4pm after an entire afternoon of cold sweat, shivering and too hot/too cold. ARGH. OF ALL TIMES TO FALL SICK. I HAD TO MISS WORK D:
Anyway I feel like crap, so I'm going to bathe, read my gardening book and sleep. I feel really stoned and sick >_< It's a horrible feeling.
Tried to go to work today, but after 2hrs I was so tired and dizzy I really had to go home. To the point that I could barely walk, and flagged a cab instead. Went home and just K.O'ed. I slept from 12noon - 3pm then woke up to bathe, swallow panadol and eat something then back to sleep again all the way till 5.45pm. And I'm still tired. Go figure.
I really need to go.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 08:13 p.m.+
In addition
Dear sis, your Atelier Boz obsession is getting to me ;_; OMG I want THIS!
So many things
So little monies
T______________T
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 12:33 a.m.+
Space
And so, I said to the rocket that went into space
what kind of heaven will await, if there is one
without, the alien such as you
I didn't love Big Bang Love, Juvenile A - but it reminded me of Sputnik Sweetheart in that odd maybe-its-just-me way. It's not really a love story, more like a meditation of escaping and trapping of different forms and the kind of fragility you see when fish swim inside glass bowls. A sweet, unknowning tenderness that when you watch the fish swim oblivious in the glass bowl and your face refacted in it largely like an illusion, that the entire world is simply concentrated on the 30second memory of the fish.
Something like that
If you don't understand it already, I don't know how to explain it.
So it began again, this big bang love that started 46 billion years ago. And each time it passed was like a trapped future where the rainbow was a message to be broken and not free.
I think, part of the reason why I like it is because it sounds like me. Not like being showoffy or anything, but it's the kind of things *I* see and I think like. It's like me saying "hey that's how I think too". So it's familar and that's why I like it. I suppose you could say how could you know, and then I will say, how could I not?
And the cold glass water drips with the condesation of finality just like a butterfly that crushes under the weight of it's own beauty. You'll think that perhaps, evolution will change - that beautiful things unbreak themselves but such is life; slowly and mysteriously it works that it is the fragility itself that makes it beautiful
Anyway, go watch it. Or not if you're under 18. It's not really about love, or revenge or even homosexual themes. I think, it's more like a form of ......sufferance? inexorability? maybe even.....love?
Then it ends - just like that. Not the big bang and fireworks or the punch of a bloody first or the bloodthirsty revenge of a placideyed smile but a kiss and.....a rainbow?
I wish I could write it. But I guess, someone's already beaten me to it. LOL.
--------------------
Met Ochibi-chan in the morning and she's really nice! Had lunch at MOS and then went with her to the post-office to send the IPMO to BTSSB. Apparently, it'll be around 5 weeks before our socks arrive. I hope she comes to Japan with us though, she's the kind of person that I won't mind travelling with plus! She has good taste. Likes classical stuff (good) and AatP (good) and not yukinohime (good). Plus, I sold a tartan skirt to her ^^
Went to Cathay to buy the tickets for the 5.30pm show, then took a train to Orchard to meet Gabriel. He didn't turn up. I had suspicsions it was a prank, but since I resolved to be professional about it - I just gave him the benefit of doubt. Anyway, he didn't turn up. I suppose that makes us even then? No idea. Anyway I gave him the standard 30mins before leaving, which is pretty fair. Whatever really. Audy was really pissed (I think she sent him a hate sms...) but honestly, I couldn't be bothered. The only thing that annoyed me was that I spent $2 on bus/train fare to get there and unfortunately there's no way I can get a refund for that *sighs*
Met up with audy at Plaza Sing Comics Connection and zomg! Tactics 8 isn't released yet! BAH. What happened to Chuang Yi's 3-month rule? Maybe they're releasing so many that they can't keep up? Dunno. I'm pretty annoyed thoug....I need my HaruKan D: Had dinner at the foodcourt, then went to Daiso to fool around~ omg they don't have the green tea anymore, just that weird tomato juice stuff so I bought the canned version of the tea, and the 100% apple juice thing while audy had the melon cream soda that tasted like fizzy hi-chew candy lol. Walked over to Cathay and watched the movie. Even though we liked it, I felt cheated cos the reviewers said that it was about "despair, love and revenge". Honest to God, I'm no reviewer but I don't see the revenge part. And the love is.......well, it's not your typical yaoi romance sad to say.
And quote audy: "None of them mentioned escapism!"
Then walked around Carrefour looking for chesnut-whatevers (I keep on wanting to write : "chestnut-nantoka!") We found chestnut jam, chestnut-for-fruitcake....but no chestnuts. No chestnut paste or chestnut puree or even frozen chestnuts. BAH. On the other hand, they were having a book sale and managed to grab 6 books which looked pretty and interesting. I like pretty things~ prettyness makes me really happy for some reason.
And then at the travellator, audy did something that was seriously cute when she picked up the candy that went "RAWR" . Okay it doesn't sound very cute written down, but when she did that I felt really happy suddenly - as though I knew that the by doing that it was as though she showed me unexpectedly why I liked her so much. I mean when I feel it it's kinda sweet and happyish - the happiness so sweet it becomes painful because it is everything that is meaningful to you.
Okay that didn't really make sense :x
But it's things like this that I really treasure
More than anything else in the world
Had pudding which was yummy, called our respective parents and went home~ It was a nice day, despite the prank. I wouldn't mind it happening again exactly for what it is, even if it is impossible. But perhaps, even if it is impossible to repeat perfectly, something similar today may happen with the ordinariness of walking or waking up and I would still feel that happiness. But perhaps it is better that it doesn't happen exactly, so that then another new day and experience can be created.
I don't know.
I really liked the show in a way that is difficult to explain.
I don't love it though, it's not lovable because it's too true.
Like every good story, it should be a "The End". But does the end always finish with a fullstop? What comes after that, you wonder. Maybe the blank spaces hold endings only known to those who are in it, who smile secretly without curses. That the smile in that - the smiles of parentheses and space-in-betweens and dashes and fullstops, are best left blank......for that, is the story. The End.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 11:45 p.m.+
waking up
Listening to: Honey and Moon
According to this, BTSSB is opening a shop in Paris~ :D It'll be good when I go uni, because Paris would be only a train-ride away. Also, if I order from them I won't get slammed with EU taxes.
Aya is sick, didn't go school cos she came down with a flu >_< ganbaremasu! Drink for chrysanthemum tea! Slack more! ENJOY YOUR YOUUUUTH! *dramatic pose* Hahahaha aiya, just get well lah.
Didn't meet Alex in the end, because she had something on till 2pm and since I was meeting audy at 3ish-4, it wouldn't make sense. Originally she wanted to come, but she doesn't really like J-drama .____. Anyway audy came over, and we had fun listening to all the oldskool stuff and me giving her both p0rn and mp3s. In return, I have now MORE Kanjani8 and NewS songs ~ yay~ not a bad trade.
Plus, everyone seemed to know about my craving for sweets and she bought over tiny cupcakes! Yatta!<3 I like squishing the sponge in the middle, then chewing it~~ it's so yummy! Especially the blueberry jam ones :D Watched My Boss My Hero and laughed ourselves silly. OMG Tegoshi is so frikkin' cute and Naguse is so.......manly. He's just so manly that even when he cries, it's like ....MANLY TEARS!!!!. I mean, how many guys do you know can cry in a way that makes you think of like "OMG he's so manly like that". Not to mention, he looks hot even when unshaven and stuff. And he's got Gacktastic Fat Percentage, which is like zero. The tattoo behind was fine, but the front ones looks like boob-plates. Dunno. It doesn't look right. But he IS hot. Like, really REALLY hot.
*insert long fangirl session*
Ate dinner so fast that I had a stomache afterwards, mou~~ .___. Anyway, watched finished it and I have to say, the new high school's uniform is nicer than St Agnes. Then audy talked about Nobuta wo Produce and I found it on youtube. It's kinda cool, more "drama" than actual comedy. I've only watched the first ep though.....Youtube loads pretty slowly for me.
I thought of today like a Space Invaders game. The kind where you watch the little green aliens move unstoppably across the screen and you shoot them with rocket launchers? The day was like that. Hot, afternoon sunshine like a steaming 1960 summer with us talking at the tops of our voices, while playing the funniest videos we could find. The fan whirled uselessly in the inert heat - hot air swung lazily in hotter air. You had the feeling of being old and young at the same time, not so much rememberance as creation of perhaps, a new post-modern? view of laughing at yourself. Somewhat sweet, somewhat nostalgic but always always slow.
Or maybe you could even say it was like being in a miso soup~
Filled with loving tenderness~<3
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. First up I have a loli meeting with Ochibi.chan at 12noon, Toa Payoh MRT station. She needs to pass me the $$ for the SexPotRevenge shirt, while I need to pass her the $$ for the BTSSB group order. $57! ;_; But it's really worth it 'cause I really don't have any proper redxwhite or pinkxwhite socks.
After that, I'll be going to THE Cathay to buy tickets for Big Bang Love, Juvenile A which is basically a really cool show because it has cute guys, violence and yaoi! It's rated M18 though. I suppose it's because of the theme, as well as the huge amount of gore. That reminds me, I should bring a jacket so that I can hide when they start beating each other up >_< I do NOT like excessive violence. Remember Casshern? I'm still icky over it. I don't really feel great about this one, simply because this guy is THE Ichi-Killer producer. :x
Then from Douby Ghaut, I'll go over to Orchard to meet Gabriel and find out what kind of painting he wants. Hopefully it's something with plants or fruits, because those I can do easily enough. If it's something problematic like "old" studies - I'll refer hm over to May (another artist) who specializes in drawing humans and Peranakan figures. She's holding an exhibit soon too, so it'll be cool. I don't really want to overthink this though, hopefully it's something not too big and has plants/fruits/something abstract. If all goes well, I'll just charge standard pricing, with a 20% inital deposit and the 80% paid in installments. If it's a small painting, I think a 50% deposit and the other 50% on collection is pretty fair. Actually, as long as I make enough to cover the price of my socks (BABY why are you so expensive!?) I'll be happy enough already.
Then around 4pm, I'll meet audy and we'll go off to watch our movie at 5.30pm. Come home around 9pm? I guess. Then on Sunday I have to work. It'll be a really busy day, so most likely I won't come online tomorrow. Sleep early yanno?:D
Anyway, it's been a great day
And I really need a bath :x
Seeya all tomorrow!:D
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 10:59 p.m.+
Woo Eee Woo Ah Ah Ching Chang Whatabingbang
Listening to: Gackt - Frangrance
The mont blanc looks yummy :D I can't stop staring happily at it.
Watching flash vids gacked off from Kero, re-ordered my blog links (yeah, I updated and cleaned up the old ones) Tomorrow I'll enlarge it a bit, to make more space for my entries because it's now so squished looking :x
I feel retardly excited for getting my Beth order. It's like....first!brand!item! And very expensive too. If the painting comission pays well enough, I'll go buy the alice parasol from Innocent World too *dies* It's so cute in cream. Argh. MUST NOT SPEND. If not I might as well not go Japan at this rate....so many pretty things, so little monies D:
This reminds me of my AMV watching days, when I had a hostful of Croik videos (from the Cat Came Back fame, I heard he's on youtube now) and like I'll laugh myself silly watching Which Backstreet Boy is Gay Anyway if you don't know what I'm talking about, watch it here. I think of all the oldskool! anime days, back when everything was on cel and the coolest thing on the planet was Evangelion and the hottest guys were Gundam Wing.
It's so weird, to think of it in such terms. It feels so much like yesterday.
Btw, I actually have the original animated short of the 1997 version if anyone's interested.
Talking about oldskool, does anyone else remember the old MTV animates like Shanks and Bigfoot "Sweet Like Chocolate" and the "I'm Blue da-ba-dee-ba-da" songs? Or the Witch Doctor song (Woo Eee Woo Ah-Ah ChingChang Watabingbang)? I really want to get them, particularly the old Aqua and Cartoon ones. I already have the Shampoo ones from Power Rangers (seriously...the one that went: UH OH we're in trouble, something's come along just to burst our bubble yeah yeah) Anyway, here's the Shanks & Bigfoot one: here. And over here is the Power Rangers 1995 Movie ending song!
I have the mp3 too, amazingly enough.
I don't know, I remember watching these kinds of videos at a very young age. I suppose I'm an MTV kid alright~ I never really liked serials, they took too much of my attention although I remember liking the "wo shi shuai! shuai shi wo" story about the immortals and the deity who was shoved to earth for drinking wine and eating pork.
Anyway, music videos are the perfect fodder for me. It's got a visual story, catchy music and it's not too long. I don't really like the videos nowadays though....especially the Pussycat Doll's "I Don't Need a Man". The cut-paste-shift-angle irritates me, and the HOT!PINK! background hurts my eyes. Though, I'll have to say some do make an effort. The Killers in particular, have great videos. But even then....nothing beats the PURE KITSCHY LOVE OF AQUA.
For reference:
Barbie Girl (I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world)
here
LOL, KITSCH is cool okay? When anything is extreme in any form, it's automatically cool. Even kitschy 90s videos. Like the I'm Blue song (Link Here) Have a taste of the lyrics:
Yo listen up here's a little story
About a guy who lives in a blue world
Blue his house, and his blue little window
In a blue cornet
And finally....THE VIDEO THAT PWNED:
The Cartoons - The Witch Doctor
God. If you're born after 1990, and you haven't heard it (horrors!) You need to be slapped. OMG EVERYONE WAS SINGING IT AT ONE TIME. Like, to the point that they used it in school during the National Fitness Day or whatever.
90's techno are amazingly kitsch. 90's pop/rock music on the other hand, was kinda classy. Does anyone else remember Massive Attack? Before American Idol, there was a Brit version of it and the winners formed a band called "Liberty X" before changing it into Massive Attack. In the Europop arena, there were bands like Sonata Artica and Voltaire. Then there were bands like Blur and Coldplay (called the second Blur) and Air and REM and Vertical Horizon. But it's not funny funny, other funny stuff existed in 1990s, like....The Pokemon Theme Song.
here
Everytime I listen to this, I really want to laugh. It's like OMG 90s! It's like listening to Two-Mix or Duo Maxwell (Seki Tomazaku) singing "Wild Wing Boys"! Which is also very hilarious. I think sometimes you just need to let go and laugh....and there's always so many things to look at.
I wasn't a stylish kid though, I listened indiscriminately. Stuff like Vitamin C (You are the colours of my day! and night!) or even the superoldskool of Micheal Learns to Rock. I never really listened to the "good" stuff - my kind of music was random but selective, and I guess that developed the habit of only listening to 3 songs per band. Usually I don't like more than 3. The only bands in exception are REM, New Order and Dir en Grey.
Most of the music I listened to was from AMVs or stuff I heard on the radio. I remember the first time I heard the Which Backstreet Boy's Gay song was on a Gundam Wing fanvid. Or LeAnn Rime's "In the Moonlight", I first heard it on Ai no Kusabi. Talking about Backstreet Boys, does anyone remember Blink 182 and their gorgeous parody called "All the Small Things"?
We'll call it a day :D
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 12:46 a.m.+
Point
Argh I just realized my layout is retardedly tiny.
No more spiffy long entries then (?)
+tsu waited for you at 08:34 p.m.+
ame kuri
It's a mont blanc layout that went horribly awry, mostly because I've been blasting Marmalade Chainsaw, Audience Killer Loop and other head-bangingly loud music to stave off my anger. I'm pissed. Honest to God pissed. I'm mostly irritated at myself, although I'm beginning to redirect it to others.
I'm irritated because I should've been more careful
I'm irritated because I should've known better
I'm irritated because I got suckered into a pretext of friendship - and actually believed in it (!)
ARGH.
Clare found my blog. And I am *NOT* happy. After which, I promptly deleted her from my MSN list, handphone and everything else. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Also, she doesn't seem to know the limits of discussion. What I discuss here, is none of anyone's business unless I bring it up and explain to you the situation personally simply because this blog is for my personal memory and I usually omit details.
I was pissed off enough to actually consider moving to blogspot or blogger, except that I love pitas and have been using it for ages. Anyway, I added the bot-blocking codes so that people can no longer find this on the internet. It's a pity, because originally I wanted a place where I could share all my drabbles to public but now - impossible. Besides, there's LJ now.
But now I've more or less decided that since she's outraged the bounds of normal-aquantinance-friendship, I have the right to ditch and forget about her. Thus, all the major deletion. I don't care anymore - screw her "all my friends abandoned me" thing. I did my best, she crossed the line thus - byebye!:D
Now how did it all start? I sent a forwarded sms asking everyone if they gave my number out to someone, and she replied no. Then thinking I should catch up (because I haven't and I feel guilty for it), I called. That's it. Then she accuses me of whatever "intent" or secret "agenda". Pluh-lease. If I actually enjoyed this kind of "secret intent", I'll just go join the family business and earn some money, not mindfuck someone who has no use in terms of finance, ability, security or connection.
I mean, even if I was the type - I'll pick someone who is actually of use right?
Anyway it didn't go well. And reconfirmed exactly why there's no point in pursuing this friendship. People who don't understand boundaries are not worth it. Nor does she like chestnut cake, which puts her forever in the side of devils.
I still remember her "ewww" >:o Can't believe anyone did that.
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Matters aside, how d'you like the layout? I love the clean simplicity, aqua colours with warm chestnut hues. It's cool without being too cold. Originally I wanted to make piano keys at the side *points*, but now I actually prefer the "frosted glass" look, because it reminds me of those patissier display windows~ Moebius thing is rather a joke, it's a twisted circular loop which makes it an infinity loop (perpetual). Mythologically, it's been linked to gates and portals for summoning to other dimensions - they found some celtic symbols resembling modern day moebius loops. Nowadays though, the infinity symbol (horizontal 8) is actually a moebius loop.
Woke up late, which made me very happy. Although I realized that my inner clock is now tuned to Provence, so I ended up sleeping till 10 only. It's still rather nice though, to dig your feet into warm pillows and roll the comforter (pink!ruffled!) until you look like a maguro roll. Then you can yank the curtains open and squint to see the suddenness of daylight - calls: honking of traffic, blue skies and white. Morning again. It's a beautiful world.
I never really liked yanking the curtains though, I yank them halfway and draw the green day curtains over, so my eyes adjust a bit first before bright light. It's still rather nice though - the early morning shock.
Got mail from UCAS, the UK application group and apparently, City University has accepted me on conditional terms for Banking and International Finance. That's really fast btw o.O they must really want me or something. Anyway I got a conditional acceptance from them - the minimum entry point is AAB which kinda........urgh. I'm more interested in Queen Mary, although their entry point is BBB (300 tariff points). Anyway I'm waitinggggggggggggg~~~~~
*tries to be patient*
Meeting Alex tomorrow at Orchard, around 1.30pm. Then afterwards I'll be meeting with audy~~~~~ and we're gonna watch My Boss My Hero! (from now on MBMH). OMG I love MBMH! Tomoya is so hawt kz *fans self* and Tegochi is so cute! Everytime I see him now I think of Miso Soup PV. LOL! That has to be the funniest PV ever for all the right reasons.
Aya's sick with a sore throat >_< no cake for her. Not only that, the Gouk jackets didn't come through so now there's nothing she wants. I pointed Y!J, Atelier Boz and other wonderful sites but......she's just not interested. All she wants is Gouk, Gouk and more Gouk. I helped her post a WTB on egl comn, but it's only a maybe lucky thing. Who knows? In any case, if that happens it'll be cheaper for her because she doesn't need to pay comission.
Come to think of it, I should check LJ now.
love
tsu
+tsu waited for you at 07:07 p.m.+
