Houston,are you hearing me?

Listening to: Katamari Damacy in my head

School. Urgh. Had NAFA, which proves that I'm generally fit except that I can't run. Scraped through standing jump and shuttle run, but got As for situps and pullups. 31 situps in 1 minute! >__< I can't laugh now cos my abdomen hurts too much. Mostly living on fruit and fruitjuice now, I think it's not too hard being vegetarian in CJC simply because the food is a)too oily b)too salty c)overpriced. Felt quite terrible on the first few days of starting out though, problably because I wasn't used to it. But after shitting it out, I feel much better and surprisingly energetic. Hopefully I'll follow this the entire year, because being healthy is important!

Plus apple + orange ice blended tastes awfully good.
It's almost as good as watermelon. (which is quick that I can eat between lectures, cheer!)

Wanted to KILL FAHY yesterday because he was being an utterly irresponsible asshole. "Nessescary paperwork" my ass....if he had actually DONE his job, I won't be wandering in a pink fairy outfit on Thursday with no rhyme or reason. Offically we were supposed to have a skit on Thursday to advertise the Literary Competition, and he was supposed (re: SUPPOSED) to check with the principal and Mr Tan Gek Sun if the slot was free. Happily oblivious, we planned for Thursday and ZOMG! THERE WAS ANOTHER GROUP ON THE SAME DAY!

*kills maims stabs*

And he had the audicity to LAUGH.

So we shifted to Friday. I was so nervous though....but it turned out okay. Forgot most of what I actually wrote (dear lord) and ended up impromptu-ing my lines. But it was okay. Point was: Everyone is now aware that there's a competition going on. Even if I had to wear a pink fairy outfit to do it.

Slept during art because I was tired and I didn't really like the theme. But did my job, froze in the library and researched for drawing references. *tired* Zonked. Then met up with Jayne (prounced as "jen-neh") at Mos Burger.

Really nice person ^-^ and tried the scallop burger thing. Not bad, but I like the teriyaki chicken better. Then met Jun (another blogger) and Veldspar (yet another) who all seem to know each other and blog. *blink* Apparently random manner in which they landed on my site.

Scared them a little with my "creative" methods of skipping school (MC!) and kooky chemistry experiments. Jun is really nice though, she's a doctor too. And I like doctors~ always wanted/still want to be one despite the long hours, low pay and even longer study. I think I freaked her a little though...;_; ah well.....Nice people anyway. Clickable to be with.

Went to look for sculpting balloons, couldn't find any and bought the wrong kind. But I did get a pink wand! PINK WAND! Reached home around 9.45pm, after the most squishing busride on the 174 ever. I swear, the bus -teetered- over the corners. You could feel it move. And everywhere were arms, legs and briefcases and other body parts. Urgh. Claustrophobic.

Played Katamari to relieve a little stress, Hansel and Gretel = demolition love! 90%! <3<3<3 Got a new character called Honey too.

Downloaded Napolean Dynamite and this EGL movie called Shimoto Monotogari. Sak would lurve it~

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:41 p.m.+

Hey! THREE TWO ONEEEEE!...pisttheballpitapitabear

Listening to: Illreme - Kuru Kuru Rock

It's offical. I'm allergic to pineapple tarts. *sighs*
echoic: hoooooooooooooow? Me loves them so! *huggles*

Katamari Damacy has taken over my life. The funny thing about this game is that the soundtrack is amazingly good. As in SMASHING! Listenable unstoning JPOP without the sreechy vocals (problably cos no one wants to do a Ayumi while rolling a ball)

Mostly finishing up Editorial work and tying up the ends. Posters solved, JC1s settled, articles nearly complete and tomorrow's the skit. I'll be glad when everything is over. Kinda happy I'm not in Chingay too.... *dies* I'll never make it kthxbai. Plus this saturday I have dinner with my dad, and I won't know when is the next time I'll see him. *shrugs* Pity. But anyhow, I think my class is a little overethusiastic at times....Siging up for EVERY SINGLE CIP?! Madness. It's not that I want the absolute slacktastic lifestyle of Gloria (oh how I envy you~) but I don't really like doing so much

Anyway. Class politics again. *sighs* I'm not only staying out it, I'm staying far far away from it.

Mostly hanging 'round the guys which is pretty funny. Quote Jiaxiang: "aiyah you arh....too screwed up to be a girl." LOOOL Cos we were talking about sexual kinks and ZOMG-ing over how Glen can find Mrs Sng hot (he's really into femdom) Though I told him that he problably needs a ton of lube considering Mrs Sng is problably menopausal already. Jiaxian g and I are pretty okay with everything - we watch p0rn in a desultory fashion, not really into pain or any particular kind though he's more vouyeur than I am, and I'm more into bondage and gay porn (duh) than he is. Surprisingly Graham is like.................CONVENT GIRL! (with a secret kink to be femdommed) I mean honestly he doesn't watch porn, he thinks exhibitionists are cheap thrills (wah lau then what's expensive har?) and he doesn't think of sex at all. (so he claims)

'course, we don't believe him and bully him all the way to the canteen.

Aahahahaha.....Glen, Jiaxiang and I are officially known as the AIDS group. Cos like AIDS is cool now righttttt? *shoves* Just kidding.

Editorial. Smacked Zebra (Jian Hong) for calling me fat (WTF HOW DARE YOU! *smacksmacksmack*) Apparently he says I hit really hard. Hobbit and Warboy wasn't around but I had fun talking to Emily and Sharon ahahahahahaha....I can't believe she thinks Ms Ting is hot though. Ew. Bad taste.

Arghz according to FengShui all dragon babies (1988,2000) have bad luck this year.

All my narcissus have bloomed......

So pretty.....

It's like a general feeling of exhaustion and borderline depression........like a cloud of grey concrete, a solid fog of grey that just presses down and out, almost suffocating that seems swallow me from the outside and gnaw from within as well.

The whole pour-soi/en-soi thing.

*sighs*
;_; i want a hug

I guess I'm just feeling underappreciated and negelected.

Uncared?

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:58 p.m.+

ikebana

XIN NIAN KUAI LE!

Dunno...I don't really enjoy all the visiting. The overblown pompousity of relative trying to show off who's kids are the smartest, who is the richest, who just did this and that doesn't really appeal to me. I try and tell myself I'll see light one day, that who knows? Maybe I'll learn to talk like that as if I owned the planet with false modesty, as if I had the need to describe every single thing I did.

Nah.
I don't really like it.

CNY makes me antisocial.
So I restrain my temper and stop talking to people.
For the simple fact that I'll problably yell/pick a fight with you.

*restraint restraint restraint*

It's just the feeling of exclusion that bothers me a litte.....A seperate feeling that exists inside yourself, detached and knowing that you can never join them - yet again - a certain comfort, however cold that you WILL never be like that but then it strikes you that how can you feel this way towards your own family? They're the first refuge but they aren't there. If they aren't there, are friends supposed to be family? If they are, why is it still so lonely?

Okay I'm rambling.

Talk something else tsu, play a game and spin the wheel and maybe chance will give you a second lifetime.

Today I played WE <3 Katamari! It's a really fun game about a gay king who sends his son down on to earth to roll up stuff. You start by rolling small things like pins and biscuits then you grow bigger and roll up humans and ducks and angels and even God! Then when you foll them up they wiggle and scream "MITTE KUDASAI!"

Kamtari is fun.
The sheer randomness makes my heart sing

Anyway.

Glad everything is almost over.
I dread tomorrow's party where my mom will put me up for display.
I really really really dread it.
You want to know what makes me scared?
Uncalled for attention. *dreadss*

-----------

Sometimes I wish that I could just fall back to the dreamtime of soft blue walls that yield and bend like lavender flowers and infinity skies, wrapped up and warm inside them - floating in the sea that never stops moving like the gentle ebb and flow of water.

Then I won't need to wake up.
Then I won't need to see anything.
Or hear anything.
Or know anything.
Only float along the sea of dreams.

You know happiness?
I've been happy, sometimes I'm happy.
And I'm grateful for it.
Really, truly.
But I would give all of that up simply to be floating and untouchable again.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:02 a.m.+

Superdriven

Listening to: Gravi songs

Recounting.....

Friday

Watched concert at PAC, Mr Issac Lim can really sing! And he's hell funny too (for some reason I think he's an aquarian). Relatively mild classes today, Lit lecture and Lit tutorial so it wasn too bad.

[DIGRESSION]
Digressing to Lit lect. Mrs Tan brought up a interesting point regarding Mary in Long Days' Journey into Night. Her comment on the Mother/Virgin roles seemed strangely familar - then I realized what. FEMININE TRINITE! *dumdumdum* As in the virgin, mother and crone imagery. Anyone reading Neil Gaiman should know. It's a almost perfectly echoic, the way it not only progresses to "night" but also acts as a scene break (Mary ends all Acts) not to mention a foil against the male/Father imagery......If you really want to stretch it, you could even claim that her different selves are contrasted against the male imagery of Father, Son and Spirit. Tyrone would be father, Son(s) would be Edmund and Jamie, while the spirit (or in this case, family curse) would be dead Eugene.

I haven't really figured it all out yet though, but I think I'm on to something. The play is supposed to be a "modern Greek tragedy" after all.

[/DIGRESSION]

Had yu sheng with the class, but we louhei-ed until the stuff was inedible. loool Unless you really like to eat shredded carrot that came down from the ceiling. Pretty fun xD xD xD Did some drawing then went for CL B which was boring and I don't like Marcus at all. He just strikes me as an arrogant showoff pig (which reminds me a little of my dad) tsu is NOT impressed. I just don't like him. Too smirkity and sureofhimself in a bad way.

I hope one day he slips on a bannana peel. *pout*

Went to Island Creamery after cl B with Steffi and Gloria and ate pineapple tart icecream then bannanna split with pineapple tart icecream, peanutpeanut and reverse-o. ZOMG PINEAPPLE TART ICECREAM IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD! GO STANLEY! <--- owner. He's so nice deshou na!<3~

They came over, ate and borrowed books.

Today

Sleep sleep sleep. Just catch up on sleep. I slept close to 18 hours today, to catch up on all the sleep I lost in Janurary (which is a lot). Slept till 12am then had lunch and then was back to sleep at 3pm and slept till 6pm. I don't like heat, so I usually like to sleep the afternoon away. It's just nice to doze - falling lightly in and out of sleep like a floating sensation of cloudy warmth and sunshine and the gentle whirr of fan as you wonder aimlessly about the world while staring at the blurry ceiling covered with flickering shadows, long shadows of the sun.

Reunion dinner no. 1 complete!
Was so stuffed I went to shit most of it out.

Urgh but okay. I survived. Don't need to do it again till next year. Reunion dinner no. 2 is tomorrow, Reunion dinner no.3 is problably next Sat, Reunion dinner no.4 is problably after my mom comes back from Sweden.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:43 p.m.+

!!

Listening to: Gravitation - Love Stuff

So sleepy when I started class..... it's as though as the week progresses the class gets deader and deader cos we're so tired all the time. Nearly fell asleep during Econs test (gawd the ink was stuck to my face) so during Math I went to hide in the library for a snooze. Woke up to find my legs not working due to lack of blood, then hobbled down to the canteen for some YTF aka. young tau foo. WTF is offically known as wong tau foo looool xD xD xD

Played basketball....I managed to shoot into the hoop twice! GO TSU! YOU'RE NOT BALL INEPT AFTER ALL! (unless it's catching)

Ahhhaahahaha...egging Graham on is so fun. Apparently he wants to ask this girl out on Valentines' Day, but is so shy so Jiaxiang and I kept on bothering him xD xD xD

Went for Art and proceeded to do something unnatural. You know what I did? I sat down patiently for 3 HOURS STRAIGHT shading with a mechanical pencil. Just slow slow single-minded shading. With a mechanical pencil. LOOOOL. I dunno, but art seems to give the stupidest, silliest, fun-est conversations EVER. Like we were comparing sappy love song lyrics xD fun!

Then we (Jo, Pinkie and I) met up with Angel to go Chinatown to buy Pinkie's cheongsam, visit auntie Iris and buy ingrediants for tomorrow's lou-hei. It was so pretty~ sat in the middle of Smith St eating char kway teow, dumpling soup and satay behoon with the colourful lights overhead and the throngs of people passing with the blare of loud music and babbling voices under the darkening evening sky. It was just so happy y'know? Like happy.

And Smith Street has absolutely fantastic food :D
The carrot cake (chai tau kueh) is SUPER!

Wandered around, bought stuff, prodded things, poked at more and just hung around and relaxed. Felt like a holiday loool~ Even if it wasn't supposed to be.

Oh yeah! Bought camellias~ The sasuguna type. 30 petals!

You know there's something seriously cool going on when yaoi manga becomes intelligent. YES! YAOI MANGA IS INTELLIGENT! *gapes* It's this anthology called "Prince of Monsters" by Motoni Modoru. What so cool about it? Imagine Ray Bardbury on crack and suddenly teaming up with horrorfest Lovecraft. It's so good that I even downloaded the yuri chapters just to read (frick the final scene was so creepy!cool I nearly had a heart attack)

And most of all, it's actually intelligent.
She actually quotes Dovtovsky and Asimov!!!
In yaoi manga!!

I'll have to say that it's extremely violent and explicit (esp Killing Moon. URGH my stomach flopped) But really cool. Sin City dystopia meets Japan!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:20 p.m.+

And we bullshit like diahorrea

Econs test wasn't so bad, mainly cos I prepared the essay structure for it so all I had to do was regurgitate it out. After Econs consultation, I have FINALLY! understood Keynes' Income Determination. The problem with the entire Keynes' is because Income is a misnomer. In Keynes, the definition of income (rep. by $Y) is the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) as in how much the country makes. Disposable income (rep by Yd) represents the household income used to consume.

But like ZOMG! I feel enlighted!
I understand accelerator theory!
And that Marginal Propensity Consume (MPC) thing!
*feels epiphani-zed*

1 hr of consultation = 2 lectures.

:D :D :D

S paper test was absolutely stupid. Ahaha...Gerald was so funny cos he was like "Fahy said he pushed me into this..." then he had this blushy-yaoi!buttsex look which makes me wonder if he's secretly masohistic about Fahy. And when we finally got the question, it was so bloody INANE that we didn't know what to write except to bullshit.

Stupid Question of the day:
"In what way do you feel that you have gained from reading literature? (use examples not of the current A level syllabus)"

Everyone's reaction: WTF?

The teacher in charge even had the audicity to ask us to write in "literature-style" not "GP-style."

WTF IS A LITERATURE STYLE?

Anyway, so we bullshitted collectively. I won't be surprised if they decide to scrap the S paper programme altogether due to the absolute ridiculousness of our essays.

Some memorable parts:
Gerald writing about reading when he was young.
Alex Neo bullshitting about "widening knowledge".
Alicia using Brave New World examples (!)
tsu using yaoi_daily examples!

Talking about yaoi daily, the author of Ayawase no Diamond Life has a new series called Secret Club Kishidou! (Nishimura Shouko) Like ZOMG! Tatsuya x Yuuki forever!<3

Although I can openly say that Tatsuya is evil....
But hot. LOL. That's what matters right?

Cleaned up banner painting, am pretty happy that most of the things are cleared.....

Only thing left? Sleep.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:32 p.m.+

so is the days of my life

Too tired to write much, just listing.

Monday

-ran 2.4 km
-finalized school relay run designs
-finalized art coursework outline
-NYAA AGM (must hand in pink form by Fri)
-Run errands with mom

Came home at: 8.30pm

Tuesday

- Bioethics seminar (biased biased biased!)

Came home at: 5pm

Wednesday

- Econs test
- Econs TYS MCQ 14.1 - .3
- S paper selection test (3pm - 5pm @ library)
- banner painting for editorial
- stanford essay

other things:
- rockerfella concert MC
- CNY dinner 1 on saturday

love
dead dead dead tired tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:11 p.m.+

Nuance

Listening to: Gackt - Redemption

Apparently Redemption is his new song.....what to say? Sounds like Technolynze or someone stuffing a cotton ball down his throat. A bit rock-ish, lots of crashy guitars and techno overlays......It's not bad, but not fantastic either. I like his houshi no souna and Fragrance (most underrated gackt song!) better.

Gackt's better off seranading girls as a vampire than rocker. Cos like, Gackt CAN'T rock. (plastic surgery just doesn't rock it buddy.)

Bought flowers with grandma - a lovely hybrid orchid that looks EXACTLY like a :D. It's so cool y'know? Like everytime I look at it I feel like smiling even more because it's such a smileyflower and soon my face becomes a :D too. LOL. A lovely deep purple/blue flower that looks a little like delphiniums (larkspur) as well.

As usual, I bought narcissius (feburary gold). They had the other kind as well, the red and purple kind that smells so sweet that you can smell it from 2m aways - unfortunately, it attracts flies. So I'll stick of my golden narcissius thanks very much. Must remember to ice them every day~

Flowers are so much love~<3
Sometimes I feel that when heaven is nothing but fields and fields of flowers - flowers of the soul - whispering, swaying gently in an eternally fragrant breeze.

Met up with mom and sis after dropping the flowers home. Bought sis's shirt, and ended up buying more. Checked out Galleria, then headed to Borders.

[mini-rant]

There are times, I really can't stand the behaviour of my mother. Times when she complains impatiently about the service when there's this poor old woman cleaning the tables, times when she complains that we should've cut more coupons for discounts or wait till sale, times when she laughs this stupid silly laugh and thinks it's okay to behave in such an ugly, inconsiderate manner in public.

Like when she insists on eating rotten avocados, because she thinks it's better to get sick than waste - the whole mentality of miserliness, of competition (like the way she bothers me about 'S'paper for her own sake) is just so much of the "Ugly Singaporean" behaviour that I can't stand it.

The sheer ugliness of it is just so.....disgusting.

It's just so ugly

[/mini-rant]

Bought Stephane Mallarme and Charles Baudelaire. For me, I like Mallarme better than Baudelaire even though Mallarme contains less "text" than Baudelaire. I prefer it. I'm not as fond of shocking people like Baudelaire is (got thrown to jail, etc) and stylistically, I like Mallarme more. The quiet obscurity with richness of imagery, the softness of inexplicable expression......it's more my kind of thing. LOL

On the other hand, Baudelaire is really much easier to write about simply because his ideas are fairly clear with easy-to-draw titles such as "Incubus", "Vampire" etc...mostly nouns. Makes life easier.

Paul Verlaine falls somewhere inbewteen I guess.....he doesn't have the powerful shock of Baudelaire, or the quiet shadows of Mallarme, but he IS charming. And some of his poems are really rich - especially the landscape ones. The best are his 'poems saturnine' - melachonlia coupled with human observations.

Going to start drawing soon, will problably be late tonight (but before 12)

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:54 p.m.+

Saturdays

Listening to: Forever Young

Bugis:

Was very crowded, floodings of people everywhere in this labyrinth of shops, shops and MORE shops. (some no larger than a toilet cubicle) It's like Alice-In-Wonderland meets Shopaholic. Wandered around trying to look at things, being totally turned off by the crowd then ZOMG WE FOUND 3 SHOPS THAT SOLD CLOTHES FROM JAPAN! Like, the real thing. Not the made in China stuff. 2 Jrock shops (Kospa and IGO) and 1 EGL (Sumuru) shop that sells - yes- sells REAL! gothic and lolita stuff. Complete with cape and headdress. Seriously, I even recognized some of the brands.

Bought another tartan skirt
Which makes the total no. of skirts I own 21 :D

Got bored of the constant noise and crowd (the place is almost as crowded as Takeshidono, only more humid) and left for Far East

Far East

Did the usual things.....mainly went there just to shop for audy's shirts though. (tsu be broke and spent all money on skirts) Reserved sis's keyblade shirt and walked around until we got tired. Best buy? $1 socks from the same shop which I bought sakky her jacket.

The coolest shop was this place called Athena, which sold shinjuku streetwear aka. layered clothes. Reall cool streetwear, but unfortunately too hot. Not only that, the cutting disallows people with big boobs (like me). I'm glad though, that audy finally understands why some people go for boob reduction.

Home

Cos we're poor and dinner-less, dragged audy back to my place to eat. Why? Cos you're never be hungry in this house. Seriously though, we usually have enough food for 1 or 2 unexpected guests. Had fun reading through artbooks and other pretty things, watched Tv, ate apples and pears , talked..........in other words, did all the normal things. Got a little irritated at my mom, but that's okay.

Mwee~~~~dead tired now

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:59 p.m.+

Lonely In Gorgeous

Yay it's Friday! WEEKEND!<3<3<3

Fridays are composed to lectures and Literature classes...why? In the morning we have a Econs lect, then a Lit lect in the SAME lecture hall. Hell, I don't even need to move from air-conditioned freezerhell for 2 hours. So I'm smart npw. Every Friday I make it a point to bring a jacket even if my hands are totally full from carrying junk. The little pain is worth it because freezing from 8am - 10am is NOT FUN. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Zit. It's practically 15 deg celsius in there, and once it was so cold I could -feel- the cold through my jacket. And I've froze my ass off before, and it was so cold I couldn't concentrate and could ONLY think of the cold.

So. Anyway. Fridays are Cold days.

After that is a break where we all head down to warm up/stand around in sunlight/eat. I think only on Fridays do I skip and hop deliberately in the sunlight, and enjoy the fact that yes, its warm like a blanket, warm like fresh bread sprinkled with cinnimon and tumeric, warm like a cloud that holds you gently in a halo of light. You feel alive, standing in this warm warm bath with sunlight sparkling down - 10am sunlight that seems just not too hot, not too cold but gently kissing warmth. And it's just so nice, so very wonderful after 2 hours of flourescent lights and lecture halls and freezing aircon and powerpoint slides to see something not confined in a room, to see something real and beautiful.

Was queueing for Yong Tau Foo because the queue is so "short" that it stretches all the way to the OTHER stall (at the other end of the canteen). As in lines of people snaking round benches and tables.....ARGH! *kicks JC1s* We need the food more than you midgets! *huffy* You know why I'm so pissed at them? They take -EVERY- oppotunity to eat. And they have abou 2 or 3 breaks a day compared to our 1 -single- break. Sadness. *sniffs* Poor straving seniors and overfed juniors.....

Poking fun at some guy with Angie cos we were discussing SCGS' girls (angie's from SCGS) about how vain and snobbish they are - ahahaha, she hates her old school too. One very good example of this would be a certain individual *koffSadiakoff* simply because her attitude of sucking up/copying when it pleases her pisses me off. It's not so bad if she was just sucking up, but when she copies my ideas by clarifying it with me, THEN asking the teacher (by using my point) totally, absolutely, pisses me off. It isn't just appearance or mannerisms that she's copying, she's copying my thoughts! Intelluctual infringement hellooooooo?????

The worst is when she sucks up to Fahy (not his dick, his ego) by putting on this funky FAKE accent during Lit class. It's hilarious. And just a wee bit sad.

But I bu sun yen (lit: eye not suited//her mere prescene is a turnoff) and I generally avoid her.

Lit class was boring then funny. Boring because we were doing 2 poems from Robert Browning aka. Jailbait Boytoy of Elizabeth Browning.....If you don't know who the Brownings are, they're the super-romantikuuu hajimemashou couple who came up with the lines:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Anyway we were doing "Love in Life" and "Life in Love"......boring crap about unrequited love. I think Mdm Damo was pretty surprised though, cos I'm usually enthusiatic about Lit (even if I feel that I learn less in her class than Fahy's) Then I explained to her that love poems and mytho-symbolist stuff (aka. Blake) never did it for me, and I have a natural disinterest in love poetry simply because I've never seen the point of antagonizing yourself with the Wil' Wilt' Wo'ts of love. Just go ahead and ASK already instead of twiddling thumbsticks. Not to mention some of my classmates are amusingly cynical *koffGRAHAMkoff* so I didn't really feel the need to participate in anything considering the concept of love for me is a bit removed, a bit twisted.....I love people, but never in the romantic way. *shrugs* I can lust, I can love, but I never seem to be able to do both together.

Then came the funny part: we were broken into groups and made to write a dialouge with stage directions about the themes of the poem. Then ACT it out. LOOOOOOOL.

Greek Chorus: Van, Angie and Angel
1: Josephine
2: tsu~

Transcript:

1: So are you gonna be my girl??
2: I want to run away for I can't take it, I won't understand.
1: But baby, you're gonna save me, cos after all....you're my wonderwall.
2: No no no no baby No no no no don't lie
1: If I could take you just for one night my love
2: You just want my humps, my lovely little lumps, check it out!
1: Let me show you the shape of my heart
2: shutup just shuddup shuddup
1: Where is the loveeeeeeeee?
1: I will always love you I will always love you.....

Chorus/everyone: Have ever really, really really loved a woman?!

-------

It was pretty cool cos we were singing all the lyrics and the Chorus helped out by singing the sound effects and repeating the last 2 words al cappella. I mean, it's set like a real Greek tragedy, complete with a 3 chorus at the side, and 2 main characters. The best was that everyone was laughing and it was fun! *dances a happy jig*

CL B is boring without t07
No more Liang Bao to gossip about....
No more Gerard to compare comics with....
No more BJ to poke fun at his gheyness.....
CLB is no fun anymore.
;________;
I miss my old class!

The new teacher suxxors. I want to give her a heart auerysm and get Mdm Wee back. I want to exchange the new guys in the class for t07 and Darren cos they're x100000 times more fun. These guys are terrifically boring. I think one issue is that they're basically sportspeople (re: jocks!) and they don't listen to weird music or WoW or read funky comics like Hush.......*sighs* Maybe I'm being judgemental....forming opinions too early.

Met Rachel Koh on the way out, I hope she's okay but I think she will be cos she's one of the few people that knows - knows exactly how bad it can get, and how to get out of it. Found Alex and we had a weird handphone commericial scenerio happen. You know those when 2 people are talking to each other when they spot each other in a distance and the girl walks down the stairs to meet the guy?

Yep, that kind of thing looool
Happening in the school foyer!

Went Spotlight, found some SUPER CHEAP banner material. Like, $2 for 1m. How did we get it so bloody cheap when cotton poplin costs $3.99/m? First, we decided we won't pay more than $4.50 for cloth, then we started hunting for cheap fabrics and we spotted this: Rayon Ribbing SALE. Rayon ribbing is basically a premade tube and they sell the entire tube by metre. What we did was we bought 2m of it, and cut the tube to 2 rectangles and made ti 4 metres! Cool right?!

It's also a really sparkling shade of green.
Kinda like Slytherin green - but brighter
Viridian green, my sis said. LOL

So! To be gay about it: EDITORIAL HAS THE COOLEST BANNERS EVER.

It's problably semi-truth though, because banners are generally black, white and insipid shades of pastel and blue. My tactic is to choose the shiny-est background, then do the words in plain white or black. Thus, we are damned cool lor. LOOOL

Paid for the stuff, then went walking around with Alex to prod and poke and look at funky things. Kinda fun~ enjoyable company anyway :D But I was pretty tired and sick of carrying sketchbooks, jacket, banner cloth, illustration book and econs file. Shopping = not fun when you're carrying over 5 kg. But it was pretty okay~ went home, conked off and woke up at 10pm to talk to audy, blog and do other internet-y stuff.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:31 p.m.+

Romantik

Listening to: Bloc Party

Measured drawing has to be the most mentally draining of all artistic disciplines. Why? Because it tells you to not just see, but to see without the deception of a memory. For 3 hours straight, you HAVE TO concentrate on a single object and draw exactly what you see. Think it's easy? I ask you to try to draw a teapot from the top perspective.

I was so tired today that I actually fell asleep during GP.

*sings the Crazy Song*

I am Slowly Going Crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 -switch-
Crazy Going Slowly am I 6 5 4 3 2 1 -switch-
*Repeat until insane*

It should be known as the offical ZOMG! A LEVELS! song.

--------

Should go and scan The Great Escape during CNY to upload. Share the artbook loooveee~~~

I'm just really tired I guess.

Finished drawing for the school Road Relay Run, both logo and adverts. And then I look at the mountain of coursework and Econs articles to complete and I'm already not-really-working already. No heart to do it. *sighs* It just feels like time is wasting away and I'm just watching it waste away until I feel panicked enough to do something.....

Good note, I found Paul Verlaine's poems, but I couldn't find Baudelaire or Mallarme, which leaves me to ordering to Amazon. The only thing I'm looking forward to is CNY and birthday......though this year it looks like CNY will be a poorer affair. I dunno why, but I think birthdays are special. I'm going to buy white roses' <3~ lots and lots of white roses because I love them so.

Or if I can, red ones too.

*is picky about flowers*

I love how those beautiful velvety cups seem to spill delicious scent, saturating the air with lusciously passion thoughts on flowers - the sensual feel of petals like silky velvet, the fragrance, the soul of roses...

<3~

I suppose it's too much to ask for it I ask someone to deliver white roses in the morning for me huh? *sighs* Guess I'll have to buy them after school then.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:10 p.m.+

Hey!

In school....and blogging cos we're supposed to reply to some econs article online, and therefore, after posting have decided to waste more time.

<---waste time---->

Okay I need to go for art.
Just wanted to say hi and that I slept during GP because GP is worth sleeping in. And that reading french poetry when your mind is unawake is just really killing.

Verlaine rocks.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:54 p.m.+

Unintelligence

*sneezes*
*sneezes*
-_________-;;
*puke*
*sneeze*

Urgh.....*dies* Sick is only fun when you're mildly ill, not when you're all achy and sneezing and pukish.

Anyway, did some sketching, then gave up when the weather turned cold. There's no point goldleafing work when the weather turns cold because the oxide dries too fast to be of any use. So ends up my Siren with no golden hair *sighs* And what do I end up doing? Hanging around Japanese Fashion sites (with NO shipping) and turning green with envy

The weird thing is that I'll problably look really horrible in it, and yet I really REALLY want it.

*drools over H. Naoto stuff*

Letter to Universal Deity:

Dear Onmipotent Person,
Please give me a 24cm waist and shrink my bust-size to 30cm. If for some reason it's beyond your Onmipotent Powers, can you just make me 1.65cm by making my legs longer? :D

Much Love and Worship,
tsu

Drew so much until I'm -utterly sick- of drawing. Utterly. Sick. Stopitstopitstopit.....Seems like now people have realized that I can draw, so they're now giving me lots of work - all in the name of "service to the school". Well yea - tsubuse!

List of work to be done:

1. Art Coursework (8 PREP BOARDS!)
2. Editorial banners 2
3. CJC Relay Run promotions (and I'm not even a runner!)
4. Econs Econs Econs....

*sighs*
And the amount done?
-NONE-

On the other hand, PTM (parent-teacher meeting) went well. PEOPLE LIKE ME! *squees* The coolest/weirdest/nicest thing that happened was that Angie (one of my classmates) actually SMS-ed me to ask how I was. <3~ That was really kind, considering we don't know each other that well other than we have a friendly competition in Literature. (she does prose, I do poetry and we rival for pract crit) Solved the problem about finding those dastardly decadant French poets....Mrs Jasmine Tan agreed to lend me! <3~

Anyway, time to start work.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:21 p.m.+

Bloc Party

Listening to: Nowareta Tsukiya no Kioku

Was sick the entire day. Sick as in sick - the barfing, pre-pregnancy, nauseaous kind that makes you puke at the sight of food or the smell of Sisley perfume. Urgh. I just gave up the battle against my stomach after a while and drank liquids the entire day. Besides the usual "zomg! toiletbowl! *barfbarf*", I sneezed my nostril skin off and ran a couple of breathless rounds for good measure. Yep. PE is gruelling hell. Worst still if you're sick.

And no, I'm not pregnant. I just something set off my allergies and sent my entire immune system on war.

Anyway school was school, best part being that Mrs Sng was sick (yay!) which saved me 2 HRS WORTH of GP to complete, and I could slack around as I pleased drawing aliens while listening to my newly-burned CD containing Placebo, REM and the ever-wonderful Duran Duran. Art was pretty cool - finally managed to get that woman (Mrs Haworth) to really listen to me. It's exasperating to talk to someone/explain to someone mutli-layered concept when they're more interested in arranging us by class -_____- Anyway, she finally listened and gave me approval while backing me up on the more obscure/nitty gritty stuff ie. finding enough materials, sorting out drawing schedule. Hell, she was even nice. Who knows? I might end up liking her. (tad too virgo-ish for me to like though)

Visited LaSalle library. It's big alright - enough reference materials to twist your panties the other way (check out their humongeous section on PATTERNING!) But 45mins isn't really enough time to read anything, so I mostly bounced around the shelves looking for aesthetically pleasing picture books. It was pretty cool being in Lasalle though - art school and all. But it did dawn to me one very important point.

I don't think I'd have liked studying in Lasalle either.

How do I explain it?
*thoughtfully*

When I walked in, the thing I realized was that everyone was alike. Not that they were dressed alike, but a more fundemental like-ness - as if they all shared the same attitude and spirit. It's not true individuality, but a kind of pretense-individuality ie. a physical difference to make up for the lack of personality? It was like they were trying so hard to look "arty" that it fell flat - dulled by the banality of their thoughts. As if they were trying to be "arty" simply to be. Not for any purpose or rational intention - it stops being a personal expression when it lacks a personality behind it.

And okay - despite all the flaws of JC - long hours, heavy workload, rigid system etc.....I like intelluctuality. I need to rationalize aesthetics with a purpose - art must have a meaning, a message - even if it's only an aesthetic exploration.

*rationalize rationalize rationalize*

I'm not particularly elitist (nor do I consider myself as one), but I cannot, will not - stand aimless fascimile personalities. I don't care if you tell me it's called a "movement" because I will shove you into my stinky vomit-puddle and tell you that a movement is a group of artists who, realizing a social need, uses it as a purpose and defines a style that causes a change in society. Copying each other's clothes is NOT a movement.

So there.

Took 14 with Jo and Pinkie and went to Suntec cos Jo wanted to eat at Carl's Junior. Being sick, I just bought a drink (Ice Lemon Tea + Zappel) Pretty fun! We kampaied to ourselves that we would get an "A CONSTELLATION!" cos Astar wasn't enough for us/me! xD xD I picked Plediades cos yea I'm ghey and I like to pick stuff I can never spell. w00t. I was just really fun .... crack silly jokes and be hugged by people (zomg I miss hugging people so much - but now I can at least hug Josephine!<3) I guess hey! I have a semblence of social life now (compared to non-existent)

It's really surprising how quickly climb back up the social ladder. *blinks* Even I'm surprised. Considering I was rude, annoying, rant-ish - you'll expect them to be less forgiving and like Sadia more right? After all, Sadia is an ass-kisser debater. But nooooooooooo.....they prefer the rude, antisocial types who have moodswings.

*shakes head in disbelief*
Doesn't always amaze you that the rude is always considered more charming and interesting than the asskisser?

tsu <---- rude, sarcastic, stubborn-er than a pimple with the temprementalness of a pendulum.

But okay, I'm a decent person. I don't hit kittens or rob the blind.(honestly I think that's the reason why I don't get so many hits - I'm not bitter, sarcastic or angsty enough to be considered "interesting" considering the amount of weirdos out there number in millions")

Anyway.

Will be in school tomorrow bright and early cos I'm a sad sad soul who craves social acceptance and seeing my CCA mates happy and teacher pleased just makes my day SO GOOD........

Yeah right.

I'm problably gonna end up whinging to myself that I should've skipped the damned meeting for an extra 10 mins of snooze. I love sleep. Frick, I want new pillows, bolsters and pajamas for my birthday. I'm a lazy decadant brat I know, but I don't particularly care for austerity anyway.

I think being sick makes me cranky.
*crankycrankycranky*

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:34 p.m.+

Zerkang!

Listening to: FF9 - Black Mage Village OST

Zerkang: The sound of a heavy object hitting someone's head hard and bouncing off to a general direction.

*zerkang!zerkang!zerkang!*
*head bounces*
dokidokidoki

Anyway, Sephiroth has eaten/chomped/masamune-d my life. *grins* It's all good though, except that now I keep looking for glowing mako-green eyes, long silver hair, a supaaaa-hot guy clad in leather walking around with a humongeously fat sword. Yep, it takes up 2!FRIKKIN!PAGES! *just to fit his *koff* sword* I'm so corny now I could cry.

Yesterday was pretty good, except that I accidentally pressed "back" and ate my entry. Met Natz, had lunch at Pepper Lunch (not bad but not fantastic either - lots of meat) Really sorry to audy >_> Sorry we didn't go shopping, promise to go with you to Queensway next time >___> Then we can buy clothes and eat blueberry waffles!:D

Btw, if anyone wants SxC doujinshi scans (raw) please tag and I'll upload it for free. SPREAD THE SEPH LOVE!

Anyways.

Doing homework online is pissassingly fun - mainly because it's a lot like doing online quizzes (except that you actually have to PASS it) and you can dl yaoi manga at the same time so when you finish one tutorial, you can reward yourself with prettyness!

Anime updates: Blood+ is getting cooler than ever (zomg! did you see the second ending?!) and following a new series: Fate/Night which has decent animation (Type-MOON of Tsukihime fame).......I hope they follow the Sakura-theme plot instead of the Shirou/Rin one because a)Sakura is awesome evil b)of all the 3 scenerios, the one with Sakura has the most blood, gore (liek she ripped his ARM OFF!) and sex (liek hisoka!warning) c)Because Sakura is x100 times cooler than Rin. So there.

I'm biased. I like chio(pretty) purple haired girls rather than a whiny bitchy Kairi-ish Rin.

;____; I want Shakugan no Shana though. The artwork + plot looks really cool!

Anime-ranting aside, school has been eating the rest of my life. My life = Sephiroth + School. When I'm not thinking about school, I'm thinking of how sexy Sephiroth looks when his pretty hair fans out with Cloud underneath (entertain yerself at Econs lectures! the cheap/p0rn way!) School is getting tougher and tougher though....I really don't want to look at Keynes' theory of Income Determination. International Trade was all fine and dandy, but Income Determination? URH URGH URGH. *makes sick sounds* It's like evil! math equations with funny symbols everywhere, and I'm the kind of person who suxxors at MRP theory.

I think it's TPP X MR = MRP or sth like that. Whatever.

*zerkang!*
*head bobs*
I'm st00pid yea I know

Just in case I forget, Standford essay is due on 31st Jan, and I need to finish the part on "Write About Yourself" (300 words worth of crap) and I'm still kinda annoyed that none of the bookshops carry ANY of the Decadent poets. None. Zip. Zero. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a conspiracy to stop people from learning how to drink and smoke Hashish yourself to death while proclaiming your intelluctual superiority. Borders, Kino...etc they don't carry Charles Baudelaire or Stephane Mallarme or the enfant terrible Laugerie and Paul Verlaine.

*annoyed*
So how am I supposed to get the poems?
Project Guttenburg doesn't carry them
*zerkang!*
*rubs head*
Guess that means I'll have to figure something else then....Like an anthology of European poets or something.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:47 p.m.+

Truths.

Random game my sis and I played on names~ XD Find out yours!

+tsu waited for you at 02:45 p.m.+

*sighs*

Lots of stuff happening.... Mostly boring or mundane or just schoolwork. I mean when you look at my classes, it doesn't seem too bad. It's just actually going through them that's the problem. It's so tiring most of the time that I'm too exhausted to actually get online, and when I do, it's mostly for schoolwork. My life has be subsumed and consumed by school.

Daily routine: School-->eat--->sleep.
Screw resolutions. *sighs*

It doesn't help that EVERY DAY the teachers are incessantly reminding that The Future is In Our Hands (!!!dumdum!) I just want to slack off like Jeanne, who's currently Doing Nothing or my brother, who is disingerating at home into a non-moving piece of human flesh. Sometimes I can't even think straight any more because I'm fed up with demands, and all I want is some nice peace to listen to things.

chew chew chew CHEW! Like shovelling education snow.

On the other hand, I'm reading French poetry extensively. Bladuaire mostly and a little bit of Gabierel Rosseti and Stephane Mallarome. I swear to God one day I'll learn to speak French. Yeps. I will. At least enough to bullshit my way round the snailcities of France. See...if I study in UK, I can go to France during holidays! Like how cool is that? Although where I really want to go is Belgium (ZOMG VICTOR HORTA I LOVE YOU) I wonder what it says about me when I'm fangirling dead architects. LOL. Anyway, yeah. French poetry, not the lovey-dovey Romanticism stuff though. More in the lines of Fleurs du Mal (Flowers of Malady)...the more abstract, dreamlike, motif-ish poetry which lots of beautiful deaths, lots of "selfs" (en soi VS pour soi anyone?) and one of my favourite lines from Rosetti has to be "I lock the door upon myself//who will come and save me?" Okay it doesn't sound as nice as in Italian. But bleh. You get it, don't you?

Seems like everyone's busy tonight. Audy's problably off playing flash games.

Class is okay, though I have a feeling that Charissa is backstabbing me in drama. But who cares? *shrugs* Let her. I'm too stoned to feel vincidative, and honestly I don't really like drama people. Maybe I'm overly blase, but people who think that samurais are cool and are interested in just shocking people without substaniation is just kinda childish isn't it? It' so "teenager-rebel-for-kicks" kitsch. They just want to be outlandish not because of plot purposes, or character development but simply just to -shock-. And it's a little irritating because it's not only illogical, it's bad dramatic skills.

---------

It's been really strange, starting school. I'm a little more comfortable with the class - neutral really, which means while I didn't develop any deep relationships with anyone (despite the potential to), I didn't create enemies either. I suppose in a sense I regret not trying harder last year, but in any case, I don't really regret -regret- and somehow inside me I understand that I'll be leaving after 2 years and I'm not really intending to develop any overly deep relationships which would lead to heartbreak.

A cool sensation of grey-blue, like the flight of a jay's wing, the soft sweetness of a swiftly moving cloud like the currents of the sea, unseen and incessantly moving - adrift in a releasing feeling of general calm with forces underneath.

I need to change the CD in my discman >___> It's so stoned. And not to mention filled with too much Dir en Grey and Cirque du Soliel.

You know, as much as I hate being cold - I really love the weather. This drippy, rainy, periodically wet weather that seems intent on freezing us during PE when we prance around in cotton shirts and shorts, shivering in tiddy little groups. I love the grey skies that seem so soft and pillowy, the infinite shades of grey and overcast, the soft dewy sunlight that seeps through so pale, so frostily like a veil thrown over - fragile. Like chenille lace and silk and all sorts of cool promises of etheral light that seems so fleeting and brief, yet so unforgettable.

Besides, it gives me an excuse to hide inside my wonderfully snuffly black jacket which makes me look like plushie. Added advantage of being mildly waterproof so I can walk around drizzles with nary a problem. And it's nice to be warm during lectures (air-conditioning + rain = frozen students) And Friday tends to be lecture-day, with 2 lectures in the morning and 1 in the afternoon.

Dug up my book on shells, and I can problably finish up the sketching for my siren.....Have to wait to colour though, cos I left my colour pencils AND book in the studio (crapstixxors) Gold leaf is pretty, but zomg! utterly destroys my nuuuu paintbrushes.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:13 p.m.+

I should've lived in London...all the London fog

Whistler once said that the delination of the line was never as important as where the line disappeared, if there was a line in the first place.

Anyway.

Rainy, snuggle-in-comforter weather which resulted in hot chocolate and peanut cookies for breakfast before going to ArtFriend and Kino to buy materials. Explained about my new, psychopathic chasity-belted virgo art teacher who apparently, didn't like Daler-Rowney and wanted us to use special, spiral bound hardcover sketchbooks. T________T LIEK WAT'S WRNG WITH MI SKETCHBOOK?!oneone!11 I love Daler-Rowney. I don't care if it's less stylish than using Rembrant or Caran A'arche or any of those famous expensive brands. I love the super-ease of their wonderfully numbered tubes (all sorted by number and type) and simple functionality. WTF do I need a superdecorated set for? In the end it's going to get dirty since I paint so much and I abuse my brushes/paints/inks/pens so often. Hell, I can't even be bothered with wearing nice clothes to art class anymore. (as long as it doesn't have holes, I can wear it out)

Went to Kino to watch Mom freak out over my artbooks. Yes mom, I really do need them before CNY because it's my FRIKKIN A LEVEL reference material. You know why I need to buy them? (unlike those people doing animation, graphic design, vector or Impressionistic art) Because no frikkin library ever stocks anything on Art Nouveau. It's a period of art that lasted less than 25 years so people usually miss it and study Art Deco instead. Sad y'know? Sad sad sad. So I buy it. And spent $115 paying for it because dad is not around and not paying until he gets back from China. *sighs* And next week I have to pay Mr James for classes too.

Zomg I don't want my mom to know that yet.

But I'm really happy with my theme. Perhaps it's not the most creative or shocking or outrageous that I've done, but I feel that it's the most relevant. And one of the purposes of art is to commuicate. Although I'm going to say privately that I love doing Art Noveau simply because it appeals as a philosophy. Aesthetically, Art Nouveau is the highest of the high art - the highest of stylized visual refinement - to take nature's very own forms and recreate it in such a way that is both alien and familar, to remove and strip nature of itself until it reveals only the essence. Say, the beauty of a line or the beauty of an arabasque. In terms of beauty for beauty's sake, you can't get any better than this.

Although I have to say the French did a really good job of the concept of functional beauty.

Aesthetics aside, the philosophy of seeking beauty, synthesizing it and expanding it appeals too. I love beautiful things, I'll openly admit that I'm attracted to anything that is beautiful - be it person, object or written word. But synthesis is different. To synthesize every style of art ranging from architecture to music to poetry to illustration to even the functionality of a train station in a beautiful overall harmony, so that art isn't just art anymore but a -lifestyle-........I love it. I love it so much sometimes I wish I lived in that time. And this beauty wasn't just restricted to aristocrats, it was beauty freely given to everyone from the bourgoise to the high dandys to the very masses.

And it wasn't just beauty as in innocence - imagines of sin - the fleur de Mal (flower of corruption) was beautiful because the artists recognized the beauty in death, in destruction, in avarice and decadance. Their womanly idol was the Salome, the dancer of veils, the incesteous princess who sold herself to her uncle and kissed the lips of beheaded St John. If there was ever a group of artists who ever understood and enjoyed their knowing walk to destruction - it was the Art Nouveau.

To be beautiful, so beautiful that it destroys you in such a beautiful way....like the way the river loved it's reflection in Narciuss's eyes......how can you not be fascinated, even if you hate it?

Besides,the term Art Nouveau is a misnomer.
Quote: "There is no such thing as Art Nouveau. Art is eternal".

Anyway...rant aside, I'm really happy drawing it. Although now my mind is filled with nothing more than swirls, sprials and "stem-style" art. When I paint, I look not at the flower but at the stems which hold the beautiful head. Naked women are fun to draw. So is serpentines' and dragonflies and butterflies and other mythologies.

Perhaps, you could say that Art Nouveau is not so much a style of art than a movement, an idea that spawned capitalism and anti-capitalism, the movement against industralization yet produced one of the world's first entrepenuers.....a contradiction of simplicity and oramentation, a paradox of fascinating vividness, filled with artifical naturality yet of human nature.....the tempeteous sexuality that asks the question of -woman- : seduectress, Eve, Lilith, Salome that is also the virgin, the Madonna, the girl......

I suppose it's not really strange that I fall in love with this artwork easily. Impressionism is lovely yes, but too swift and too disorganized for my liking. Cubism isn't pretty at all, though it's intelluctually simulating. Expressionism comes the closest to it, but the restrictions - the lack of internationalism - forces it to never leave Germany's shores. (You can see Art Nouveau from USofA to France to UK to Belgium) Surrealism....it's beautiful yes...but rather cold.

Anyway, I've done so much drawing my o.5 is offically out of ink. *sighs* I need to go buy a big fat marker soon. Can you imagine tediously filling spaces with a single o.5? I need to find my red watercolours/india ink to fill up the background too. Very very undiluated red watercolour (or gounche) should do the trick. Audy will lurve my colour scheme at least loool....RED! BLACK! WHITE! or green black white. Basically, primary/secondary + red + white. Then I'll try graduating pastels later ie. lavender, pink and cream with sap green.

PS. My sketchbook has a tartan goldleaf cover!<3<3<3 (went to buy goldleaf for kicks)

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:59 a.m.+

Cold

Listening to: REM

Had P.E today and managed to skip part of running. I ran 6 rounds, then skipped off to the toilet and came back to do 1 more round. No way am I going to run 10 rounds in the frikkin morning when my last class ends at 5pm. But. Anyway. What really scared me was that during jumping jacks I suddenly realized there was something wrong with my vision.

Reaction: "fuckfuckfuck please don't collaspe now."

It's like suddenly the entire world becomes oversaturated with colour - white and yellow and that shining turquoise blue/green. And when I looked down at my hands, it was as if it wasn't mine, but detached and I was looking at someone else's body and the skin looked as if it was pulsating, red and glowing in the tremendous whiteness of the background. The worst was that I couldn't breathe - as if someone has jammed a big piece of wool down my nose and mouth and it wasn't a good feeling. I was like "FUCKFUCK WHY NOW?!" and a little panicked too.

It's not really the first time this happened (I'be been funnying out since 12) But it's kinda surprising still. I know in general you can't plan for stuff like this, but my technique is keep calm, and remember to breathe then the lights will stop.

Thankfully we had a direct break after physical training so I popped some relaxants and drank lots of water. But the problem with meds that it tends to stone you, and I was cranky and sleepy and stoner the rest of the day.

The weather's been really cold lately though, averaging about 25 deg celsius at night. *snuggles* Like I'm in love with my bed. You literally have to drag me out of my snuggly-heaven of comforters, pillows and nice bedsheets. My sis? or was it mom? claims that I look like those flour-stress balls with my hair poking out the the blankets in a tuft. Bleh >_____> Am not a squishstress ball kz? LOL.

I feel like having more pillows for my birthday...
._____. But I feel so bad cos I already have 4...
But I want more..... *wibbles*
pillllllllllowwwwwwwws

*hugs*
you don't need love when you have squishy pillows
*squishes*
<3<3<3~ I love j00 pillows!
(my mom claims that I love her less than I love my pillows :P I think it's actually true)

Art class....new teacher. Some lady called Mrs Havershot (?) Dunno. tsu's impression: "Prissy English virgin" Okay so she's married, but she's got such a distinct air of unsexuality it amazes me. Recall the halycon days of English Boarding schools and unsexualized insituites. XD

Went home, slept and now I'm gonna sleep again.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:13 p.m.+

Gift + Waiting for Tuesdays

I figured since I did promise people sparky sundaes with chocolate and cherries for doing the quiz....here's a gift:

Izima Kaoru's 25 Landscapes with a Corspe photobook:
DOWNLOAD HERE
Please credit to IZIMA KAORU as photographer. You may use it in layouts, prep work etc etc Distribution is okay, as long as you remember to credit. If possible, please buy the photobook yourself.

=====EDIT======

Listening to: Blur

I'm addicted to Blur's songs <3 Like ZOMG I'VE BEEN LOOPING THE SAME TRACK FOR 3 HRS. Anyway, Clover over Dover sounds like a beach day carnival with wind, they even have seagulls in the background! Like Kokomo, but more Brit sounding. LOL. A Brit verion of Kokomo perhaps? xD

Besides extreme love to weird Brit pop (you know your sense of taste has disappeared when you're listening to You're As Gorgegeous as Me) I'm having fun reading up on fashion designer history on the internet. I think I veer to the weird-sexy side of fashion, I love Valentino, YSL, Moschino (yes! Love love!) and Lanvin. Not so much Gucci and Prada. I think not pretty. Anyway I've started keeping a sketchbook again to jot down ideas, no matter what they are. Like the chupa chups skirt :P I was eating a lollipop when I realized that chupachups wrapper actually looks quite pretty as a skirt <3 Under the theme of "froufrou". Possibilities exist everywhere, lol. Even looking at audy's domain name "merciless sky" makes me think of deconstructed, military-inspired outfits of a palette of blues, greys and charcoal.

Isn't it amazing what word-association can do for you?

Sometimes it's scary how much I want it......it scares me too. I'm willing to give up almost anything for it you see,but I don't want to cross the line. How, do you ask yourself, do you draw the line?

*is hungry now*

I think if you try to design on an empty stomach, all sorts of funny things start to appear. Like candy floss jackets and otah column dresses with bananna leaf shawls and other funny things. ZOMG hunger is an inspiration!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 08:06 p.m.+

substancing

Went with mom, then went to Kino and met up with Sak and Sis. Sis squeeing over her squeenix stuff, while Sak and I were ogling over very expensive artbooks. Anyway the day was long and I am tired, so all I'm going to say was went back to school, went back to Orchard to meet audy, audy forgot/misheard so sat down and started studying my arse off.

...........I think I'm just sick of painkillers.
*stoned*

On the other hand, I feel as if that if I didn't take any, my brain would explode from sheer substance, because substance is dense and difficult, and I'm seeing visions of sugarplum skirts and panty dress and Moschino fashion runways with very expensive prices. I wonder: does everyone else put so much effort into A level art or is it only idiots such as I?

Yesterday was the best Italian food in my life. An experience of pink linen tablecloths with glasses of white wine and sparkling water with pizza and many many pasta. Pomdero. Linguine. Penne. Orrechite. Gnocchi. Canolleni. : al dente to perfection. Tried a gazillion types of dessert, and I have to say it's the best tiramisu in Singapore. No question, no competition. Perfectly whipped mascarpone: check. Ameretto and chocolate coffee: check. Light as air sponge fingers: check. Chocolate/coffee dusting: check. Wonderful. Without doubt, best tiramisu in SG. (though Esmarelda's is pretty tough competition) Next time I'll try their icecream with strawberries.

Sis if you're reading this it's time to persuade dad to bring us there for our respective birthdays. And we order presecco.

Not cranky anymore but terribly stoned. My head feels like it's about to explode from pain pain pain pain.

I feel poor ._____.
That Tom Ford book and Fashion w/ Edge is calling me.
*sighs sadly* And together it's over $300.

On the other hand, Sak seems to have felt my deep love for Kaoru Izmia's photography and I'm still annoyed that Kino doesn't carry his 25 Landscapes of Death in their photography section. And their Art Nouveau section is pathetic. As in PATHETIC. *wibbles* But it's so pretty! How can people not like it?!

Random joke of the day:
Desiger Franco Moschino was famous for his sense of humour. One runway show opening, he wheeled in a dead-looking model on a wheelchair with an IV drip, wearing a shirt reading: FASHION VICTIM.

Random observation:
Of course it totally makes sense that the inventor of the oversized prep/punk ties that audy likes to wear is a Libran. Yep. Totally makes sense. Then realizing that no shirt fitted his ties, he decided to make shirts as well. Yep. We must always make the tie before the shirt. :P

Anyway, quiz time!
Very simple, I have an LJ so you can comment there.
quiz:
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my blog:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.

ANSWER HERE

I'll upload the gift tomorrow cos it's taking too bloody long to upload on YSL. Like....20mins already!?!?!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:49 p.m.+

Black Box Recorder

Stoning today. *stones* I just didn't want people around me, or at least, noisy people. Stoning I think, it's a gradual thing which you become slowly quieter and quieter until there's no noise left at all. I suppose the truth is that I wasn't stoning as much as I was restless and frustrated, filled with circular thoughts.

Love.
A four letter word. Change it and it becomes something else.
Live. Lose. Move.
Such a small small difference...........

It's like writing a diary: dear diary, I fear that I'm thinking too much lately.... or maybe dear diary, I fear that I know that I think too much ...... I don't know why, but I'm beginning to like quiet more. Long bus rides, Kafka meanderings and strange strange names. *restless* Sometimes I wish I didn't say so much, but then, I haven't said enough yet. The quick lift of etheral soundlessness.

I've been a little pissy lately.
do forgive me.
unless I intended it.

Looking forward to art class next week. Nothing like drawing for 3 hours straight to clear your head.

i don't feel like blogging much anymore.

life is unfair. kill yourself or get over it.
life is unfair. kill yourself or get over it.
life is unfair. kill yourself or get over it.
life is unfair. kill yourself or get over it.

I wonder
who else dreams the same dream of white nothing as I?

But I'm optimistic y'know, lol. I'm optimistic that I have decent genes and will succeed if I wanted to. I'm optimistic that I'll be comfortable for the rest of my life. I'm optimistic that maybe one day, if I tried hard enough I won't feel anything at all.........

So get over it.
Stop believing that people remember.
[memory is a liar//my memories are lies]
then maybe...
I'll finally be free

PS. Happy birthday mom

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 05:38 p.m.+

Nowherers : 2 stoners grow more moss

New layout people~! As usual, much delayed and rather aimless looking. Looks very sailing-day ish, unlike my sister's ambitiously titled : "Resolution." Ahahaha....slacker I am.

Anyway I'm rather okay-ing in school, it's exhausting but fun. I don't know why but I think JC1 work is harder than JC2. Or maybe because I've settled down a bit more (which would be true). Some good news: am in Editorial exco now, and I have a chance of getting into S paper (zomg! then I'll be a geeky scholar!) Really though, I'm really happy because I've worked quite hard for it and quite a lot of people applied for it, so it's an honor (coolz coolz coolz)

I'm not aiming for the academic scholarship though...what for? But the $200 bursary award sounds achievable (get into top 10% of faculty)

Seems like Mrs Sng has mellowed a bit during the holidays, so it's all good. Yay~ I'm never going to like like her, but I don't think it'll be as bad as last year. 'sides, I want a nice testimonial which I've been working my arse off for.

side thought: I don't know if I want to go USofA. First it's unsafe (in relative), next I don't want to waste time.

side thought 2: If audy intends to stay in SG permanently, then I guess it's just too bad because I never will. So I guess it's 300 days more before I never see her again huh?

side thought 3: choice = to be a better artist and fufil your potential or stay with family and friends you already know?

-----------

Had turkish food, was rather cranky in the afternoon. *cranks* Rachel Koh is good company when you're cranky because she stones along with you. I like turkish food. Is nummy~ *nubbles* num num num~~~

Tomorrow is mom's birthday, dinner out + need to buy gift.

Anyway it's 2am and I have school at 7.30am.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:37 a.m.+