Hippy yzh yzh

listening to: Tomorrow - Weiss

It's lovely song despite the fact that it's sappy sad and pained. Drew a butterfly person and coloured it, my mom seems to like it an awful lot and so she's keeping it in a portfolio. Dunno why she does that, it's not like I'm going to an artist.....Anyways, she seemed to like it. Technical bits: Ink: 0.3 on black, Pilot, Soft hatching with fur strokes Colours: Copic: Sepia, Violet, Sky blue, Ice blue, Honey and Apricot.

School was okay, scored a record high of 31/38 for Chemistry and the teacher gave me free chocolate! //which I promptly finished during rescess, lovely half melted gooey toberone// I was sooooo happy because I really liked Qualitative Analysis and it's a subject that I like and do well in XD XD XD Came home and ate really little and fell asleep //curls up sleepily// and ZZzzzZZzzz til 7.30 for dinner

It's not like I don't trust anyone or anything but I'll -rather- not tell you what happened on the 4th floor. It's rather personal and I'll rather not bring it up.

Let's just say it's an experience I never want to have EVER again.

I was just thinking of something......do you ever notice that thoughts run like silk through your fingers? I was so sure I nearly caught something, some half finished idea when it disappeared like sunlight through your fingers. So strange ne?

Today I feel like old photographs of sepia and yellow white with a scent of roses and nostalgia over it, the smiling children staring at you mocking you through the dusty glass frame of things that were so much more wonderful before.

I'm not really sad, just think-ish today.

-------------RANDOM-------------------------

"Ne, how was your day?"

"It was okay, we didn't do much"

"Oh, okay."

They laspe into silence. She tries again.

"How are you feelings?"

"Er...Okay I guess. School's really tiring"

"Teachers?"

"No, exams are just round the corner"

"So you're studying?"

"Yea."

It's quiet now. No words, no actions. They stare blankly at each other, lost in their own thoughts. He tries.

"So.......how was your day?"

"Nothing much, just went to school and got into trouble again."

"Oh."

He cannot think of anything else to say. He tried. The bridge was too wide.

We sit across on another
A mere 2 inches apart
Yet in reality
We are further than ever
What made it becime this?
The uneasy silence
The cold uncomfortable feeling
That forces me to speak
Each word like a chore on my tongue
Where is the love?

"Sooo...."

"I was thinking...."

They looked up simultatlously.

"You go first"

"No, you first..."

"I don't know....I can't remember it anymore...."

A hand reached out to hold hers. Tentatively, slowly, they curled to give her a peaceful reassurance.

"Strange...I've forgotten too....but it's not important right?"

"Uh huh".

Maybe there is. Maybe it isn't. But there is something there

--------------END-----------------------------------------

I understand that the story relies heavily on dialouge and some people might not get it. Ah well. I tried. //tsu actually prefers quiet stories to loud ones//

shoot. And I just thought of something else too. Ah fuxx....Alex...where are you?????!!!!! *wails* taskete!~

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 07:47 p.m.]---

Equalibrium

This is silly. No really, silly. Because I can't seem to hold any conversation without saying nyah nyah nyah.

I'm tired desu ne.

On a lighter note, thanks to Audy and Mizu for emotional support XD XD I need to find some emotional equalibrium or something. Oh boy, crave white peace. Mnnnmmm...white......

Lock me up in a striaghtjacket
Put me in a white white room
Rest my tattered soul

Did a mini survey on all the "dreamers' I know. //Alex tell me what you think of this// Apparently, before someone has a nightmare, they see this shopping centre with various degrees of scary-ness. The funny thing is, it links up. Really. I'm not the only person who dreams the same thing apparently. leXis, Naiko, Sara have also been to the same place. CREEEPYYYY. It goes to a point that I can draw a blueprint of the place.

Don't go to the 4th floor

Here's what I know. The first floor is pretty safe, the second floor has a red archway and when you walk through it, there are 3 shops. Sara says the one to the left sells masks. I know for sure that the middle one sells lace dresses and knives, he's a pyscho called Mr Butcher who's fat and ugly as hell too. There's an escalator straight into the shop, and the walls have a green glow, the floor is oak wood(?). The one to the left was closed when I been there but Naiko says that there's another way to get in by walking through the glass through the 3 lift from the first floor, green glass one.

The third floor is pale yellow and black. Walk in and there's a theatre with red curtains, a shop that sells shop and run by these scary snitched gothic people. //Think Chucky// and there's a bank that makes you fall through 72 floors with a guy that's naked and binded with sliver tape. The theatre has a guy who wears red all the time and he's got this thing for revenge. *I've been there before* The soap shop people always dance and there's a huge chandelier up there.

And there's the fourth floor...............

*tsu doesn't- refuses- to talk about it*

Fifth and sixth floors are mazes that are really hot and humid and makes you feel thirsty.

Hmnnnnnnnmmmm....hey minna, did I miss anything? *pokes Sara and all*

--------------------------

Today was pretty fine. Was bored in class but that's nothing new. Played Yokan, tried to have fun with really little success except that Kakyounin tried to cheer me up by sending me Penicillin's - Make Love and Miyavi's - Pop is Dead. Really sweet of him, considering he and I don't match very well. *unless you consider quarrelling over every aspect as good relations* And plus he has the university studies too.

It's nice to know at least some people care.

Anyways, since I'm having exams, PapTox is giving me a break cos a)I'm the youngest b)I'm also the brattiest and the most spolit c)I more or less told them to give me one or I'll kill them with a pink penknife. XD XD XD XD I can't help but feel HAPPY at the thought of less work. Not that I don't enjoy writing but it does make me happy to be on a semi-hiatus mode.

Anyways, I'm sitting here pretty in my pink pajamas //Now you know that my pjs are pink XD XD// and I'll say night cos I'm tired and no one is online except leXis but she doesn't talk much. *sighs*

Love as always //Can I ever hate?//

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:19 p.m.]---

malenky toys

I don't know what wrong with me.......I have no right to be sulky and I'm sulking and just sitting here in the corner screaming for everyone not to come close or I'll scream. I really don't want to hurt anyone and I hate to think that I'm accidentally hurting someone's feelings because I'm sulking.

Therein lies the problem

I have no idea why I just feel like yelling and crying at the same time I wish some people will just STOP and let me walk in peace before everything rushes over and eats me up. I need control. I need control. I need control.

I'll do anything to just let -go- and give up my duties to someone else.

I love my work, my friends everyone but sometimes it feels like I have so many things going on everyone asking for a little bit of me and like a cookie I'm going to crumble and fall and break into little bits until there's nothing left to cry about and I'm tired of this farce can someone please just let me have some peace?

I wish that I had enough self control to hold on to my life and untangle the bits and pieces but this sucks. Because I don't, I'm a hedonistic indidivual who believes only in fun fun fun and I can never do anything right because the moment I'm in it I break it up and destroy it. I just seem to aggravate whatver longstanding problems and become a catalyst for trouble.

I know this is a useless entry go read the one below instead because this is worthless crap anyways.

[tsu dreamt at 09:50 p.m.]---

Delayed Gratification XD XD

Listening to: Miyavi scream his ass off in Jingle Bells. Which sound hell weird.

Okay....I'm going as Miyabi from Alichino! cos I found a really nice pic from book 2 and also cos the makeup is -easy-. Yeppy lalala.....Blue eyeshadow check, dark blue eyeshadow check, shimmer lip gloss check....hmmnn...I only need one of those eyelash curler things...XD XD

Class sitting positions are screwed again so I'm now with Rachel Koh, Brenda and Denise. Which is -FANTASTIC- cos I like them, or at least I can stand them better than Kristy and Sandy. I don't really mind people, as long as they behave like -people- and not rude insensitive creatures. Which unfortunately, is usually the case.

Hakuei sounds damn good.......Damn. Where did I keep my Hakuei x Yoshiki fics?

Yesterday's PE was funny, Auddy was seducing the poles at the pull up stations and climbing all over them. *laughs evilly* I -KNEW- you had a thing for poles! And I wasn't snogging the watercooler, I wasn't glomping the OHP and I definetely didn't do anything to a chair. 'Nuff said.

*tsu refuses to explain unless people bug her to*

Studied thermal physics and I still have one more paper to go. Ugh. I hate physics. Or should I say I just get pissy when the physics teacher picks on me? *huddles in chair* FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP PICKING ON ME! Sheesh...some people have nothing better to do that pick on students. At least the Chem teacher likes me. Or she usually likes me.

Praticed 1 hour of chinese writing today.....I dunno. I can't memorize stuff very well. You see, I'm a concept person, the moment I get the concept and system I can solve -any- question. //which is the reason why she never practices anything except chinese// Chinese is illogical! It's just pictures but no link, no sound, no pattern...ugh.

I feel silly-ish. I wanna jump up and shout NYAH NYAH NYAH~~~~*giggles*

Had English oral and I made the teacher laugh. Is that a good thing? *looks worried* I did really badly for summary so I must do well for this. I can't fail...*wails* And it's 20% too! Due to my nervousness, I cut my hair with Audy's penknife.

Yes you read right, I cut my hair with a penknife during English oral

It was a pink penknife too!~

Well anyways, it looks alright. At first it looked like Yoshiki, later it looked like Toshiya, then it looked like Die, now it looks like Gackt. Can't people just make up their minds????!!! But I like it! And that's what matters ne? *smiles happily* Sukiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

*preens froppishly in front of mirror*

XD

I just realized I lost weight. 2 days of zero-ing out dinner. Amazing desu ne. XD XD Hmnnn...so da....Kutie wants me to write a song called Youth Eternal. Basically, after running through a set of ideas, it's like this. Youth will always be the new genration, will be the driving force of every era and age, but youth brings cruelty and insensitivity for they do not know in ignorance. Now. Can someone tell me how to stick that into a song? Tres abominable! Oh but at least we fixed the chorus part //methinks it sounds like a faustian rip though// That's good ne?

At least I get to walk around with a pale pink dress and cry at the same time. Ah, the joys of being a drama wanna be XD XD

Miyavi sounds weird. He really really does. I can't decide whether he's singing or just talking or is he really rock cos he sounds like...dunno....Like the sound when you shake a can of Pringles potato chips.

Hakuei sounds sexier methinks.

------------------
Pop Funk Radical
Music: Kakyounin
Lyrics: tsu and Sara
----------------------

Graffiti walls paint LOVE
spray painted kisses dripping from brick walls
Hand around the corner bumming out
Chilling in soaking up
hazy atmospheres

Smokin ciggie anytime please outside school come'on hang it all down.

Pop rock posters
Glassy eyed girls drugged on high
Eyes closed they drink up our polluted world
This future world only a step away from us

Sex drugs rock and roll all too old back to new world of senseless SOMA

Jiffy and iffy they do it standing up sitting down
squatting all over to come as they scream for brief pleasure one second
Zip up, pants up, no thank you or goodbye
just that you're a great fuxx
No point in our ANTI-world

We're the children of the New Age Innocene
We don't know We don't care
We all want fun Give us fun
We are the New Innocents
We don't know cos no one taught us
We are your children you made us
We inherited your polluted world
We soaked up your sex drugs and TV with NEW RADICAL
We are the Inguene
Come and hate us if you dare
You made us the New Children
We should hate you too
But have nothing left to care
Bring in the New Age of Innocence We are the New Age of Innocene We Know nothing of Truth We live for hedonistic pleasure We are the New Age of Innocene................

------------------------------------------

Sara wrote most of the lyrics desu ne. Cos she's really good at writing slammy music which I can't do. And she's a really cool hell raiser too. XD XD I wish I could play the bass too....*whines*

Anyways, had my handwriting analyzed by Auddy cos she has the huge book that helps you read people's personality. Waiii~~! Some of the results were contradictory though. LOL. I knew I was mixed up the moment I started writing. Just how many people have 2 handwritings anyways? *looks at her essay* It changes from italics and loopy curves to straight normal copperplate. LOL

Nyah Nyah Nayh~~~~~~~~*just had to say that*

something perversly pure calls me to say nyah

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 08:09 p.m.]---

Kitto OK!

Listening to: Dir en Grey, Penicillin and Gackt U+K cos it's a funny song.

English exam wasn't too bad. I hope. I think. English paper 1 was fine cos I had -too much- time. LOL. In the end, I wrote 3! essays for it instead of 2 so I got to choose between foot-binding and mass murder. XD XD Being Tsu, I chose mass murder, despite being written in first person, despite the fact that it's rather -off- tagent.

Our topic was on Discrimination. So....guess what I wrote?

Jews and Germans! XD XD I'm a Jewish boy whose Dad got shot in the head, Mom got knifed in the back, Younger Sis got gassed to death. And oh yeah, I have a murderous hate of all Nazis.

Pretty cool ne? And I had an excuse to write about mass genocide too!

Paper 2 sucked because despite the fact that I rewrote the summary 4 times I still couldn't get through the word limit. AAARRRGGHHHHHHHH! I'm so dead....

Afterwards, I went to Comics Connection with Auddy and bought Alichino and some new manga cos it had a demon in it, yaoi in the front cover and it looked pretty XD XD I really like Alichino though.....Maybe I'll cosplay as Miyabi? I don't know...I can go as anyone this is my last cosplay anyways so I can spend as I like ^^;;;; And Hakuei has a pretty voice, don't you think so Kutie?

On the same note, Kutie what are we going to do???!!!! We wrote enough songs for an album yet we don't have a main song!!!! Who's going to write Poison? *the one with the 4 beat part*

It's supposed to be our selling song, our demo tape worthy song but we have no lyrics! None! Nada! And I can't figure a way to stick the lyrics unless you shorten the words and squish them.

Times like this make me want to hate you.

*sighs* Anyways, we need 4 more 'lax' songs and the main one and we're done ^___________^ Gotta wait till I finish school first ne.....

I just realized I keep my life very compartmentalized. Auddy, Natz and other schoolfriends have never met Kakyounin, Lafiet and all. My online friends don't know my real life friends. Heck, my family doesn't know what I'm up to half the time.....I wonder, is this a self-preservering instinct? *ponders* I'm so neat and tidy when it comes to mental organization but my table is a mess.....It doesn't make sense.

Life one Rocks please, make it dry and sweet

--------------------------
Roses of Yesterday
Music: Kakyounin
Lyrics:Tsu
--------------------------
See you smiling so happily
Remembering the lights in your hair
Your sunshine smile that beams so gladly
Frozen in a photograph

Wonder why you died so young
Did God want another angel in heaven
Leaving me so lonesome
I wish for your prescene
Instead of staring at photographs

SAYONARA I'm here for the last time
GOODBYE Too many years remembering
SAYONARA Time to leave already
GOODBYE Let's move on

Watching the stars fade away
I cherished hope of you comingh back
Burning like eternal flames
But too many years
Inside my heart you tell me to move on

Your face smiles at me
From photographs, from heaven maybe?
You'll always be my angel princess
Keeping me safe from harm
That's why you tell me to move on

My slient love burns forever..

SAYONARA The last roses on your grave
YESTERDAY First love one old photos
GOODBYE I'll never forget you
SAYONARA Time to leave already
GOODBYE Let's move on

Slient waving up to air
Hoping you see me from up there

-------------------------------------------------------

I think I like Penicillin more than DeG. It's just more easy on the ears and it's got the god-awful-please-kill-me titles like 'Tomorrow', 'Make Love' and 'Chaos'. I love the sap. I love the fluff. Yea, I write nutty stuff but I -like- listening to sap. That's why older bands //Not older guys you hentai!// appeal to me. XD XD

A happy tsu is more productive than a unhappy one. However an unhappy tsu is way more creative than a happy one. Which one do you want?

-------------------------
Sunflowers
Music: Lafiet
Lyrics: tsu
-------------------------
I wake up in the morning
with you next to me
a smile on my face
that slowly fades
Picking up your bag
You leave me on a cold bed
With barely a goodbye

I stare out
wondering what I did wrong
don't I deserve your love?

Oh please tell my why
Oh please hide the truth from my eyes
forever forever
always like that
oh please just hold me tight
give me certainty
oh please let me believe
in our forever and ever

oh please tell me why
you always say goodbye
forever and ever
in cold mornings like this one
oh please just don't wake me up
oh please let me dream
that you're here every day every night
forever forever
like sunflowers that bloom so bright

Like sunflowers that bloom so bright

that bloom so bright........

----------------------------

Geee...the Sap-O-Meter just went up. Oh yeah, Lafiet, are you really planning to change your name to Lafyette? It's kinda un-spellable if you get my meaning...XD XD And my fingers are -cold!- from all that typing. Freezing fingers desu ne...*pouts* I'm putting Ida's Tale on hold cos it's long //at least 5 chapters// LOL. Either that or I'm just procastinating...XD XD

Miyavi's voice is WEIRD. He sounds like he's snogging the mike.

Okies! Night!

love
tsu

[tsu dreamt at 10:36 p.m.]---

Kareinaque Mizumoboqke

Listening to: Yokan - Dir en Grey
I'm obessesed with this song. Lalalal~~~ genkified! Oh about the title, it's a language I made up when I was a wee bit younger, using a combination of morrocan sounds and japanese ^_____________^ Can you figure what it means?

Tired...studied thermal physics and I'm so dead because I can't seem to remember the formula for heat capacity and all....I'm so dead. Tomorrow is my English paper and I MUST get an A1.....*sighs*

Finished revising the lyrics, Kutie, you can get the copy from me on Wednesday or something. Tired ne....gimme a break?

Hey minna, I was just wondering, are you interested in a multi part story? I have one, woke up with a lovely dream idea. It's about Ida, Indiana, Bara Bara Island, Quinn/Queen, aliens, priests, lacy clothing, rocky outcrops, forgotten love, UFOs and sunglasses! XD XD

I like that story. Alot. But I'll only do it if other people read it.

---------------TEASER----------------------

somewhere in space

"sooooon....I'll be there with you my darrrlin...

A flash of blue and she disappears. Blue blue planets below. Earthhhhhh... She hums to herself Soonn.....

-----------Chapther 1-----------

"Oh fuxx" Cool eyes looked at the rocky outcrop in front of her. I can't believe I'm going to spend my holiday on a dumb island with dumb priests in a dumb church filled with dumber people. Sighing, she checked the address, "Bara Bara island...what kind of name is that?" She said, musing to herself. "Damn it all...."

Summer vacation. Where was it? Stuck here in a barely known island to stay in a church. Of all places. What kind of vacation was this? A holy one?

Flicking her hair back, she checked her watch. In a couple of minutes she would be meeting the priest, Father Kink. He didn't sound too bad, but he sounded -old-. And anything that -old- must be conservative too. "oh fuxxx...", her mind shouted when the dingy boat hit the pier. Only an island like Bara Bara can have a pier that's smaller than a lego set, she thought, eying the wooden planks distrustfully. ah, what the hell....

"OOF! Hey you mister watch where you're--"

She looked up.

"Uh...hi"

"You must be Ida! I'm Father Kink, and you'll be living with me for a while" he said, winking and throwing her a smile. "Sorry for bumping into you! If you'll let me-" Swiftly, he picked up all her bags and threw them into the car. 'It's a rather long drive, I suppose you can sleep through it, there's nothing except rocks out here.'

Nothing but rocks out here......I can believe it Looking out, all she could see were miles and miles of sandstone and trees. Little lagoons dotted the island like puddles, sparkling and glittering in the sun. Red sandstone struck out proudly, canyons, hills, valleys and mounds. Stunted trees grew around them, twisted into grotsquely beautiful people shapes.

What am I doing here....?

------------------------

"Wakey wakey.."An insistent hand was shaking her up.

'Uhhhh..."Groaning weakly, she opened her eyes.

It was a small church. White washed with a clear spire jutting into the sky, neatly cut lawn with a row of petunias crowning it. Long windows, black and shiny against the white. A church. A decidedly normal church.

"The rooms are behind, if you'll excuse me-" Picking up her bags, he strode off, presumeably to settle her in.

Wondering for the hundreth time what was she doing here, she walked in, enjoying the shade after a hot ride under the relentless sun. Someone was singing....Quietly, she opened the church door, notcing a man in priestly robes before her.

I thought there was only one priest in the place...?

Suddenly, Father Kink's voice could be heard shouting across, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AGAIN?"

The priest turned to him, smiling angelicly, "Oh it's you. You shouldn't be shouting in the house of God".

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STRIP THOSE ROBES OFF NOW!"

"Thou shalt not commit the sin of lust for that is the sin of the damned"

"Uhhh...excuse me?" Ida called out. Both men turned to look at her. "Why hello child of heaven" , smiling, he blessed her. "Go and change...NOW" Father Kink's voice said quietly to the priest.

Humming to himself, the priest spun gracefully and walked off.

Sighing, Father Kink ran his fingers through his greying hair, 'I swear he gives me more grey everyday" he said, muttering to himself.

"Who is he?" Ida looked curiously at him.

"He's not really a priest you see, he just likes to play dress up. He doesn't hurt anyone!" He added hastily. "He's Gubberfunky, and also another boarder in this house." Smiling he got up, "He's quite a guy once you know him"

"Oh, he likes to walk about in lace dresses. Don't worry if you see a woman in this house"

Shaking her head, Ida smiled slightly.

Might be a holiday to remember after all

----------------------END TEASER-----------------

Tired now, night!

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:37 p.m.]---

pointless aimless skip this

Frick it's 12.37am in the morning and I'm on the comp still. Why? I'm so tired and bangy and I feel so dizzy and hell just dropped on me. I wanna go and sleep and dream but it's not for me. Bah. I keep on thinking of KaoruToshiya possibilities and goodness knows I'm good at them, unfortunately most I'll never post because of it's NC17ness and also because I'm gonna maintain my image as a nice and good kid who doesn't even know what -koff- means.

Who am I kidding? Anyone here knows that I'm depraved.

And insane too.

Pretty lolly pretty polly so bored.Somone kill me please and end this quick. Oh wait I can't die yet. Damnit I'll wait and just get banged by an ambluence later I need a consellor desu ne what am I thinking? stupid tsu

I need sleep and less jrock.

before it screws up my life

[tsu dreamt at 12:36 a.m.]---

Moooooooooooooooooooooo

Listening to: Yokan- Dir en Grey

Shizuka ni shizuka ni kararenai futari.... I'm singing Yokan again!!! It's fun and genki and makes me feel better and I like it and it's fun to dance to!

Hmnnn....I'm in a cynical mood today.

And all that cal

I wonder if I should have told leXis all that. I'm being a silly devotchka by being too trusting. Am I?

What's done is done anyways. I just hope I was right.

Had dinner with dad and needless to say, he pisses me off. Again and again and again. Not to mention he was SMOKING! //tsu gets pissed at smokers// And I washed my hair real pretty and clean and blueberry and he stunk it! waiiiii~~~~~~~~~ //sulks// Sheesh...I'm getting vain *kicks self* XD

Random info: when I twist my hair up I look like toshiya!!! XD XD XD Yatta~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*digs for fishnets*

-------------------------------------------

open your heart
feel my emotions
open your heart
for love and affection
open your heart
and see true intentions

wide sky soaring
dream breath relieving
dancing and twining
and feeling the wind
my heart
your heart
with love and affection

open your mind
see our dream asoaring
open your mind
feel our thoughts joining
open your mind
to the boundless melding

lush forests for joy's pleasure
carefree happiness singing winds
floating flying climbing ever higher
endless boundless stars and warm night
my dream
your dream
flying

open your eyes
see the truth worth believing
open your eyes
see the life worth seeing
open your eyes
and find the life worth living

-----------------------------------------------

'soka. I can write happy life songs too. Let's try something rocker for Kakyounin ne?

---------------------------------------------------

I do this everyday
Watching you do this and do that
It's just the smoke
It's just your ass I can't stand
It's a dumb smirk to have
Brainlessly flirting when I wait here
I hate you soo

You sit there with coffee
And your briefcase falls open
your hair is never neat
Your breath stinks of nicotine
I hate you like this
I hate your guts
your lips
I hate your looks, the girl's stare
I hate you so
*insert Great Leader-sama's drumming skills*

But yet I think again
Is it hate that drives me here?
Everyday in front of the coffeeshop/
Watching you sip your tea
Love is hate with it's back turned
stare solmenly at you
everyday struggling with the truth
I hate you so

Stupid smile
I hate you so
Plastic face
I hate you so
Cheap kisses
I hate you so
Bad dress sense
I hate you so
Bad teeth and worse breath
I hate you so

I hate so much I love you so
I hate your guts I love them yet
I hate you so

Stupid bastard

I'm so productive. XD XD I churn out 2 songs in a day. See? I'm an angel!

---------------------------------------------------

I'm happy cos I'm happy and I'm not on drugs thankyouverymuch. Just that I'm tempremental thus I make a great rockstar cos all rockstars have big egos and bigger tantrums. See? Tsu makes a great rockstar!

illogically crazily outrageously happy

Ho hum hahahaha......I feel crazy like a bezooka. And I speak too much nasdat methinks. //overtly influenced by Clockwork Orange// Lalalala~~

so lucky to be here with you
so lucky to have food and drink on table
so lucky to have clothes to wear and books to read

Why do I feel so alone then?
Why do I feel so tired with life
when there are straving people out there?

selfish tsu

*blinks* Nyaoooooooo....I have an English exam on monday and I wanna buy Alichino after school cos the artwork is not only pretty but I kinda like the story too desu ne. Wore my pink ribbon today and I feel really haphazard...

------------------------------------
PRESSDOWNPRESSUP
want you crave you have you kill you
RIGHTINRIGHTOUT
kill you kiss you suffoCATE you
HOLDYOUDRINKYOUEATYOU
smother you smell you wrap you
CHAINYOUBREAKYOUTIEYOU
bound you jail you oppress you
BECAUSE YOU WANT IT<
you're mine and you need it
BECAUSE I KNOW IT
i push you to your limit
BECAUSE YOU NEED IT
you scream but ask with your eyes
YOU'RE MINE
and you know it

-------------------------------------------

I'm crazy and I knowst it. I think. I feel like L.A night. With balmy breezes and cool tequilas and sexy bars with fishnets and drink all round and stars in the night and moon all bright and plam trees and couples making out right now and the kid in the corner going "nyah nyah nyah"

That's how I feel.

Love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 10:45 p.m.]---

For Audy ^-^

Listening to: L'Arc en Ciel - Pieces

---------Random Clockwork Orange fic------------------

Me gulliver hurt....This new vech came in, pushing and pulling at me, all queer and oddy knocky. Hmnn hmnn hmmnn that vech kept on in his weird high goloss. "I think he's ready.." Then he poked a last time and gave a real horrorshow smile. I wanted to bang that under-veck's smiling litso. Then I felt sick. Bloody bog.

He wheely-wheeled me to Dr Brodsky's office. All spick and shiny like. The room was white with a real disinfected von. I went in with my mordor, all sniff sniff in that strange with. Dr Brodsky was there, viddying me with his glazzies, all cold and bird like. He patted my shoulder real friendly and horrorshow like, saying in his breathy goloss " This might hurt, but you will remember it." Then he put the disc on von Ludwig's number 9th. O my brothers, the wonderful generous gorgeousity of the notes! All trumping and blasting like the sinny.

He was staring at me all queer-like and smiling to himself. He grabbed me and pushed me down all sudden and began pulling at my platties and his litso still smiling with all his zoobies sparkly shiny. His hands were stroke stroke stroking away, all perv-like. The he flipped on my stomach is his hands was still going on and on and on. Ludwig's blasting trumpets were still on, all foozy and good. Then realized that I was being bezoomed by this queer, like some devotchka being plunged. O my brothers, it was this that Your Humble Narrator soon figured out! And I started creeching and creeching, like some bezoomny, trying to stop that fiend. "Stop! Stop! Please Stop!" But he went on heaving and plunged into me. Felt like some pititsa all going boohoho, all sob-like.

Then he finally finished his dirty business, all doctor-like and plotted on me and left me alone.

Oh bog.

And all that cal

All that cal.............

------------------------End--------------

Written in proper style! XD XD The topic is quite evil though...

love
tsu

[tsu dreamt at 03:38 p.m.]---

Game of You

Listening to : Yokan

Kakyounin, you might be the Great Leader-sama but don't bug me. Cos it's none of your business whether I wanna sing like Kyo or not, //technically, I'm not in PapTox ET ALL// it's also none of your business who I like. I don't complain about your whiny girlfriends ne?

And &*&^%, I'm having exams.

Today was looooong. Slept in the afternoon like a siesta cos it was so hot. And my English exam is on Monday....*looks panicky* Don't. Like. Them. Went to the Interchange with Auddy and had lunch at the OTHER foodcourt cos it was noisy at the Hub and I don't like crowds either. I like people, but I have an innate dislike of crowds. It's too impersonal and faceless.

Lunch was fantastic! Except that there were CARROTS! I hate carrots! *me had a war with carrots* Carrots are from hell. *points to Auddy* She caused it!

Okay, I admit it, I was sulking today. I sulk when I feel bad, I sulk when I'm grumpy, I sulk when certain people piss me off. Most amazing is that Audy -knows- when I'm sulking. That's cool. Cos no one notices it when I'm sulking. Usually that is.

Played YOKAN!!!! YOKAN YOKAN YOKAN YOKAN! I love siamese fish. I love Shinya's pretty hair. I love Kyo not cos he's cute //cos he definetly isn't// but cos he dances like a puppet, I love Die and Kao's hair cos they're funky!!!!! YOKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN......Somone should put a warning on the Raison d'tre PV. It's a Porn-motional video, not a promotional video. Stuff that falls under that category: Illuminati, Cage

Tsu's idea of a perfect pillow:Natz glompability + Auddy's shoulders = PERFECT PILLOW!

-----------------------------------
Moon Under Pressure
Music: Kakyounin
Lyrics: tsu
------------------------------------
you came out of nowhere
holding your wallet and my hand
smiling softly as you kiss
But that joke went too far
When you realized what it meant

//rising beat 1, 2, 3, 4 counts//

MOON UNDER PRESSURE
it's all a game to you
MOON UNDER PRESSURE
it's all a game of you
MOON UNDER PRESSURE
what d'you do when it goes haywire
KISS YOU KILL YOU THRILL YOU LOVE YOU
tell me you didn't go too far
tell me you didn't go too far
tell me you didn't go too far
MOON UNDER PRESSURE
game of you........

//Lafiet's bass +2 no drums//

*repeat chorus* ---------------------------------------------

I love this song. Well, sort of. Cos it's the few that I get to yell on the mike and do creepy sound effects! //claps hands childishly// Yatta~~~~~Moon Under Pressure is a sort of inside joke. Reference to the earlier song called Calling Sister Moonlight. Sorta like song rispote~ *grins madly* Now I understand why everyone writes un-genki songs. Genki songs are harder to write.

And it makes no money anyways.

People on earth like to watch people suffer, shake their heads in pity and don't do anything to the people on TV

Oh, actually finished reading Alichino, and yea, it does remind me to Gackt. Except that to me, he's the alichino and not the goody guy. Not that Tsugiri is good anyways, he's got a Kamui angst-brat syndrome ^^;;;;; I'm gonna read my Boku no Sukina again //cos it it's sappy and cute and so nice XD XD// and Tactics cos I like HARUKA! KANTARO! XD~

Lalalala~~~~~Fridays always make me happy cos I get to sleep till 12pm on Saturday!^______________^ //tsu little sleepy piggy//

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:15 p.m.]---

YATTA~~!!!!

listening to: Eyes Love You - hide

Happy today!!~!!!!! Was raining the whole day and the sky was the lovely grey white blue and I wished I could take a picture just for you. Then it poured and poured and poured like a dog drooling over biscuit. Hated Math but that's normal and I was counting the minutes till it ended. Ugh.

Rainy weather rocks my universe.

Utterly depressing weather makes me utterly happy

Lovely. Was quite insane and went around swinging a pretty penknife just to scare them. I really dislike them. Anyways, I didn't hurt them, I just swung a penknife around! Rained rained rained.....And I got to use my new umbrella! My old one was spoilt and had a hole so my mom bought me this adorable neko one that's gray and light green teal. It's so kawaiii~~~~~!!! *hearts*

My feet were wet.

SPLISH SPLASH SPLISH

But it was fun!

Went for lunch and drank hot tea like old ladies! And chattered rubbish before going home for tuition. Washed my hair and it's growing longer! Love the blueberry shampoo cos it reminds me of leXis and the sappiness that I feel is enough to drown in honey and do you think I think/talk too fast? Found out that with a hairdryer, my hair drys in 1 and a 1/2 hours. Without it takes 2 hours. It really takes a long time but at least it's now longer and still pika pika like and I'm happy cos it means that when I dye it pink it'll look really cool.

I think I talk too fast.

My feet are cooolddddddd. My feet are COLD. *pouts* I don't like freezing my toes!

Anyways, I should get to sleep soon cos the weather is so nice and snuggly. Snuggly is a nice word. So is pillow, blanket and bed!

They're like Natz or Auddy's shoulders! So nice to sleep on! //now everyone knows what she does in class//

Soft comfy shoulders, soft comfy pillows and glomps........*sighs happily*

I like glomping people too much. It's just nice to hug!

hush my baby, go sleep and don't cry
dream soft dreams wishing the night
tomorrow is a new day, don't worry what it'll bring
just wake up in wonderment to the land of living

Love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:26 p.m.]---

When life gives you lemons make LEMONADE!

Listening to: Shinjitsu no Gensou to - L'Arc en Ciel

Waiiiiiiiiii~~~Today was bad. Okay, I hate sitting in the front row, I hate sitting next to Kristy because she irks me, I hate the fact that I -ALWAYS- end up doing the work for them simply because they don't study and rely on me for Social Studies and English. I mean like, WHAT THE *PIKA PIKA*? Group work = Tsu telling them the answers so that the paper has 3 different handwritings.

At least I know I would have gotten 11/13 for all my tests.

Had a Chinese CA today, -tried- not to get pissed off at Li Cheng, didn't utterly fail but I nearly kicked her. Look, if you want to sit with my friends during recess, you don't sit there and call us crazy cos they're MY FRIENDS and not your silly bimbotic ones. Fine, I'm crazy. Fine, I'm insane. Fine, go call me names but don't you DARE to think that you can judge me because you hardly know me. If you want to insult Judith or Audrey, don't be a coward and do it in front of them, not me.

Just because I'm a pascifist by nature doesn't mean you can take advantage of me. I punch really well too.

Nice things today was that I had an unexpected holiday from tuition!!!!!! YATTA!!!! I hate Mondays cos I come home at 10, I hate Tuesdays because I always end up feeling the side effects of Sunday and Monday....COFFFEEEEEEE......

I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell

Whoever wrote that really knew when to hit the nail on the head.

Tolerance is so easy to get
Appreciation however, can only be found in friends

I know why they think I'm strange and changling, from my perspective, they seem very narrow minded. But then again, from their side, I seem very obessesive. It's like this, I'm brought up away from mainstream, prolly the only thing that I ever learnt that is vaguely conformist is junk food. That's why they find me so interesting and strange. Cause in a sense, I -am- an alien. I'm a product of my upbringing just as they are of theirs.

Understanding and forgivness are two different things
It just makes the situation seem more hopeless than before
But then again.....
Understanding is the first step we have to take
Maybe one day we'll meet
In a compromise

I'm not willing to throw away my anime and pink hair just to suit them though.......It's just that sometimes it's so lonely. I like people, and I try to accomadate, and it's just the feeling of acceptance I guess. Deep down, no matter the petty protestations of "doing it alone", all of us just want to belong. Ne?

I hate class politics.

open your door to find me waiting outside

Maybe, someday, I'll find someone who understands what I'm talking about.

someday, one day, maybe only in the afterlife, I'll find the person I'm looking for

It's so strange I guess, when people realize who Kyou -really- is. They get this look of shock and all. Then I get pissed and Kyou just laughs at me for trying to defend her. *sighs* Minuses of growing up, you learn that pink and roses actually mean blood on the sheets.

I'm getting morbid,I remember as a child I use to make up things. Ashes and roses for instance, I thought that when people where creamated and thrown on the ground or buried, their souls turned to roses. Red roses were people who died a violent death, white roses were the death of a innocent, innocent as in it might be the ant who dies a meaningless death cos someone stepped on it, yellow roses for jealous lovers, champange roses for a normal soul who lived as life could give, pink roses for people who dreamed of love.

ashes to ashes to roses and dust
growing again in rememberance
the unknown sould who scents the garden
with the perfume of kindness purified from death
we wander the gardens every day
rejoicing the the triumph of death
that gave life it's meaning

When I die I only want red and white roses. Yellow is a rotten colour.

Ennui is the death of the immortal

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:38 p.m.]---

Adopt - A - Tsu

Adopt a TSU!



Name:tsu
Nicknames: tsu-hime, tsubaka,tsutsu, sugar princess
Species: tenshi
Likes: SLEEP! //not in -that- sense you hentai!// Sugar sugar sugar...SUGAR! Friends and too many things to count!
Dislikes: Backstabbers. Nuff said.
Fave food: Sugar
Previous owners: Kyou
Recommendations: quote: "FOR GAWD'S SAKE STOP WALKING AROUND NUDE!"-Kyou
WARNING: MIGHT BE HAZARDOUS TO MENTAL HEALTH

-----------------------------

Saaa.....Feel better now. Gee...thanks Kutie, like I needed a reminder that I'm young and stupid. I'm listening to Yokan....Don't understand why people think it's so sad, I find it genki~! Or maybe I'm just queer.

In more ways than one.

I'm pretty tired and stressed out. 2 more weeks til exams and the pressure is horrific. Oh! I played Numerology today and guess what? Auddy, leXis, Kutie and Yoshiki are all the same personality types!!!!!!! Whee~~!!!!!! XD XD Am I noticing a trend?

It's not good having plot bunnies on Die x Shinya when you're in "exam" mode. NO SEX!

Okay...I need a coffee break.

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 11:42 p.m.]---

A day of stupidities

Firstly, I just realized that kicking yourself doesn't help except make you feel worse. Especially the what ifs. Lemme explain. Kakyounin actually came to S'pore with a reason. He wanted to to form a band. With me. ME as lead singer and lyricist.

Despite having no musical training.

Despite called him Kutie at every opportunity

He wanted me to be the lead singer of Papillon Toxique aka Poisonous Butterfly. Amazing y'know.....Everything inside, him playing drums, Lafiet his cousin on guitar and another girl whom he met from boarding school as secondary vocalist and guitarist. Quite cool ne??

Except that TSU WAS SO STUPID AND REFUSED

*dies*

No God I don't know what compelled me to say no. It's perfect. I get to sing in a band with my friends from childhood, visual kei at that. And I'll do it at the right age, so that later on I can meet Yoshiki~~~ I can't believe *smack* I *smack* just *smack* refused *smack* a chance *smack* to sing!!!!!!!!!!! >.< And now he's gone back to England to finish his Uni and prolly thinking to taking on another vocalist when I had the opportunity to be the FIRST English visual kei band.

I feel reeaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllly stupid.

That wasn't the end thouigh. During recess, Sharon split my/auddy's blog address to the Whole World. Oh kafe..........I was so angry I nearly killed her //not that she knows// I could feel her choking you know, cos my fingers were digging into the muscle cords and veins in her neck. Right at the junction where you snap it. I was just so angry!

Natasha and Li Cheng deserve to die a horrible painful death. And I'm happy and secure in the knowledge that Karma will do it for me.

I mean, I like Sharon. But I don't like them, nor Kristy Campbell. They piss me off by talking behind people's backs. Especially since whom they talk about are all MY FRIENDS. //reapeat: Judith is a nice person Judith is a nice person// And they piss me off........Badly. Why in the world do you advocate bullying? Backstabbing? Can't you just STOP ENJOYING PEOPLE'S PAIN?

That's Stupidity no #2

Last stupid thing I did was realizing I had a Chinese test tomorrow. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get an F9 because I can never remember the words! >.< Okay....I need to kick myself over and over and over and over......

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHH~~~!!!!!! I WAS SO STUPID!!~~~~

love

tsuBAKA

[tsu dreamt at 08:02 p.m.]---

Explainations

What my amazingly "advice-ful" dad said:

It's alright to make a girl wait. *wink wink*

Let the girl do the chasing....It's not good to be so excited

Don't be so execited...wait....there are many girls in the world.

And he doesn't say girls. He says -LADIES- . Too ba he doesn't treat them like one. Stupid $#*&^. No wonder mom divorced you.....

And I'm happy about it. XD XD

Went for tuition and finished the Air and it's compoments topic, it's okay, as long as it's not Thermal transfer of heat anymore. >.< I hate physics. And yet I still do it. Someone kick me.

Wishing on the same star
Looking on the same moon

I miss leXis........

Today was so strange. It felt dreamy and floating and not really there.

It feels so surreal
Too strange to be real
Like touching the edge of a bubble glass
See it shiver, see it ripple
Myraid of swirling colours and twirls
Floating into dreams
Miniature fantasy

Bang!Bang! construction has stopped. Hopefully, tonight I actually get to sleep :) Went to Kino and bought Grant Morrison as well as TATICS!!!!! SAKURA KINOSHTA!!!!!!!! XD XD XD I loooooove Sakura Kinoshita!

Tsu's latest bad habit: Pulling her eyelashes when she reads. //It's prolly bad for me, but it's fun! And I'm not plucking it or something....And it's long enough for a nice hold~!// Okayyyy....it's a really bad habit. //Besides chewing nails....// I'm a really nervous person I guess.

She's just saying she's neurotic

love

tsu

[tsu dreamt at 09:49 p.m.]---

Fantasia

Yesterday was boring, tiring and troublesome, yesterday evening that is. I wanted to go out with my mom but I had to go out with my dad, who gave lousy advice on chasing girls (which I will explain later). Look, if you happened to be in a divorce, PLEASE don't give advice on love, it makes your opinion unjustifiable and illogical.

But I was a good girl. And bite my tongue.

Went home and threw myself into fanfiction, after which my brother and his girlfriend Vivien came home and procceded to kick me off the comp. So being a normal cranky teenager, I went to the phone and called Alex. WHEEE~~!~!!!!!!! ALEX!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~

Then I went to sleep.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Tsu's reaction : Wha?

BANG!

Yes people, at 12 AM IN THE MORNING people were doing CONSTRUCTION WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws pillows and flops on bed* What happened to people tucked in cosy beds sleeping the witching hour away? *wails* What the hell were they thinking???????

Only this happens in Singapore.

And then, when the morning came. It stopped. I slept. RINNGGGGGGGG!!!!! *kills all alarm clocks* &^%$R$ Are they using vampires as construction workers then????? *glowers* I'm bringing galic tomorrow night.

Headlines: Singapore Construction Workers are VAMPIRES!

This is crazy. I hvae exams in 2 weeks. Absolutely crazy.

I'm gonna write a letter of complaint.

Love

highly-pissed tsu