Takoyaki

Listening to: Yurameki - Dir en Grey.

Author's note: Written for Phiryn, even though I was quite queasy about doing it. (The idea of Kao x Kyo doing anything just...ick.) It's meant to be -comedy- because I can't quite bring myself to write smut over this pairing. Rated PG-13. It's quite badly written because I just don't like it. Anyhow 120-1 = 119 fics to go!

--------------------------

Takoyaki aka What happens when I talk to Phiryn
---------------------------

"Kyo...."

"Eh?"

"How much would you do for a takoyaki ball?"

"Why?"

"Looks like the sales from Singapore can only get you -one- takoyaki ball."

Kyo stared at Kaoru in shock. Visions of him straving on the streets begging for takoyaki came to mind. He shuddered. That was -not- the way he wanted to die .......

"Just y'know....I bought the ball already. It's my lunch."

Both pairs of eyes fixed on a small plate of takoyaki balls innocently sitting on a puddle of sauce and mayonaise, decorated prettily with benito flakes.

"I bought it. It's mine." Kaoru grinned cheekily, raising the takoyaki to his lips, apparently savouring it with moans and groans of enjoyment much to the horror of his bandmate.

Kyo stared fixedly ahead, trying to ignore the teasing scent of takoyaki. Oh damn....he was hungry. I have my pride I have my pride..."

But pride didn't feed him.

"Kao........." Kyo whined. "Gimme some....."

The guitarist ignored him.

That's it.

Kyo walked over, then straddled the said guitarist on the lap. He leaned over, breathing down Kaoru's ear.

"Give me some." He demanded.

Kaoru raised the takoyaki to Kyo's lips, wondering what the hell he was doing.

Kyo moaned, rocking against Kaoru. Delicious. Absolutely fantastically delicious. Warm soy sauce and benito flakes and mayonaise, soft creamy shell and chewy tako inside.

~ One box later~

"You know....Kyo. If you're still hungry....."

"Yea?"

"I can always make takoyaki."

"Maybe I'm hungry for something else......"
---------------------------------End----------------

+tsu waited for you at 12:24 p.m.+

Sou no ochimasu hana

Listening to: Filth Live/Taiyou no Ao - Dir en Grey

I've resorted to begging unknown strangers from the internet to help me get a copy of [a knot] Blitx 5 Days Boxset. See ma? I'm so desperate I can hang around the net for Shinjuku to turn night so that some guy can come on the net!

Not only that, I'm willing to strave for the rest of the year just to get it. Amazing eh?

*snorts* Bloody fracking hiliarious.

So! Forgive my pre-disposed vulgarities~! Wrote a takoyaki fic (Kaoru x Kyo) for Phiryn and burned a CD! I liked Filth Live so much that I threw the mp3 into a rubbish bin, set my speakers to BLAST level and recorded it myself. 0oooo~ Good~

*drools over the beautiful guitar riff*

Went home, showered and collasped on to bed after PFT. PFT, by the way, was invented by Singaporean torturers so that the inert and nerdy students can move and show off their pathetic atheletic skills. They make you go through a series of 5 tests, finished off with a mind boggling, spasmtic forming, physically releasing 2.4 km run. (and you thought I was talking about WHAT?)

Simply said, it's spastic.

So while listening to the notes of "SO I CAN'T LIVE" die away into whisperyness, I contemplate that I'm not only going to be very broke soon, but also lose any ounce of dignity I posses.

On the other hand, I found out that my Scary to Hell Literature Teacher, Mrs Magdelene Low isn't immune to the Powers of the Puppy Look. Where Sharon has failed, tsu has won. XD. See, she was one of the referees during PFT and Sharon was calculating astrology and couldn't get Mrs Low's birthday. AHAHAHA! I went up to her, clasped my hands and gave her my most pathetic please-help-me look and she did!

Her birthday is near Auddy's! XD

LOL.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:54 p.m.+

kireiyino

Listening to: Filth Live - Dir en Grey

Really cranky this morning. Arghhh...sleepy to extreme. I'm so bloody tired half the time I can't form coherent thoughts, much less sentances.

Signed up for the Literature synpoism. I'm not sure how to spell that but ack. Anyhow, it's some event thing and there's a writing competition. I'm not planning to win (who am I kidding?) and I just want to have fun. It's not a competition in the strictest sense, because we'll be split up to form groups with other schools. Quite interesting, I presume. Most importantly, it'll look good in my CV.

Did E Math today, and we learnt about tree diagrams. Phiryn and I came up with this statiscal tree diagram (problability) for Bandcest pairings. *sweatdrop* In the end, I got badgered into writing a total of 120 fics for her, not only that, another 116 more if we were to include Kaoru's guitar.

Tsu's state of mind: Why in the world did I agree to this?!?!

I will refrain from kicking myself. Yet.

Had a chinese test today, was pretty easy desu ne. It's easy because we're doing simplified chinese. I don't know....The weather is disgusting.

It's filthy hot, obscenely bright, vulgarly sweaty and obscurely raining and shining at the same time. Not only that, it makes my school uniform sticky and uncomfortably dirty. It's so irritating I've stopped wearing school shorts underneath my skirt because it's so annoying when it rasps again my already uncomfortable skin.

Stupid weather.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:21 p.m.+

Bandcest

Listening to: Filth Live - Dir en Grey

Quote Fagirls' motto regarding Dir en Grey: "Why have sex with slutty diseased fangirls (or boys) when you can have sex with a slutty me or any of your other bandmates? It's clean! It's fun! It's BANDCEST!"

I. AM. SO. AMUSED.

Anyhow, Sports' Day boring to the end of time but since I was with Auddy it wasn't too bad. Learnt how to blow grass with Jessica to make a PWEET sound. Skipped my way to the finish line much to everyone's amusement.

Sports Day was crap, simply said. Also, it showed us how wonderfully skewed Singaporean puncuality was.

It was suppose to end at 5.00pm but it ended at 6.30pm. How wonderful. *deadpans*

Anyways....BANDCEST!!!! Must write must write arraghhh no time. Quote: "The only thing I cannot resist is temptation". I'm not supposed to be writing rubbish arraghh will turn into a rubbishy writer with rubbishy skills churning out rubbish.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:05 p.m.+

ObjectxX

Listening to: The Final - Dir en Grey

As promised....Kisaki information.

-Born in Osaka, same place as Shinya.
-Rumour has it he bullied Shinya-chan and that's why Kyo detests him. (Kyo was the first person Shinya met)
-He left La:Sadies because he didn't want to be in a major label. He and Kaoru fought cos they wanted different music directions eg. Taji/Yoshiki

-Later formed Matina, a producing label. He produced Mirage and a couple more indies but never made it big.
-Soon he closed down Matina and Mirage disbanded. He is now in another label called Under Code.
-He's got funky ash brown hair during La:Sadies days and looked like Die on crack. He's not bad looking but not cute either. (or maybe their makeup needed help)

Yay~ See? I'm good at information searching~ ^_______________^ I was really curious about Kisaki cos Kyo doesn't like him, neither does Kaoru and I kept on wondering why. *shrugs* Curiousity I suppose.

Class was fairly sickening. It was just so deary and stagnant, like sepia toned postcards of lifeless days and hot sunshine, air like a overly warm blanket suffocating and oppressing like crickets drilling at window panes. It was just HOT. So sticky and sweaty and stinky and musty dry.....Yucky.

It's like the hallowed joys of a lazy Sunday decomposing in a sweaty Monday sun.

Went reluctantly for A Math class and my teacher's shocked look was absolutely priceless. I doubt she's ever seen an A Math book so scribbled and doodled at. XD It's quite funny in a comical way.

Flipped through some books but was rather disgruntled at the quality. Bah. Either that or I'm just too tired to read anything except trashy fashion magazines.

Sun is shining Birds are singing Tomorrow is another dusty day.

Geez, I'm really becoming a pessimist.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:09 p.m.+

Descrati

Listening to: DeG- Deity

Tired tired tired....Will recap events.

Saturday
Went for AA and was quite irritated to wake early. Things I hate in life = Waking up early. I will never understand anyone who wakes up earlier than 9am. Anyhow. Went to Little India, met up with Ms Chye (yay. I am so overjoyed. *deadpans*) and realized that everyone was there but the bloody gate was closed. Waited in the sun.

Class wasn't too bad except that the artist is a spasticated person known as Mr Benjimen Phua who believes in writing Godzilla-esque stories and declaiming them loudly infront of a whole class of bored and apathetic girls. Listening to him destorys yurameki. Finished my pieces really quick and slacked around in the aircon. Halfway through we were given a couple of minuites break and I went to buy some donuts and stuff for people. Yum~ Mainly cos I haven't eaten anything that day.

Rose and I were more or less pawing at each other in such a way that even Mr Spasticated Artist noticed and commented that "He should take pictures and show it to the principal". Whoo hoo~ He did, but I'm pretty sure he uses it as kiddie porn when he jacks himself off. Anyhow, Rose kissed me on the lips and it wasn't too bad really.

In fact, it felt kinda nice.

It seems that I have a rather questionable sexuality.

Met mom at Spotlight, ate Gelares ice cream. It's this beautifully pink cocoction that looks like strawberries and cream but tastes like strawberry on sugar crack. It's a bright candy floss sorta pink. ^^v Go mom! Bought 2 ribbons, a dark pink one and a lighter sky blue one for school. Pink is nice, dusky playboy rabbit pink. (M.A.C has a lipstick that shade.)

Went home, changed, left the house again to find the Aikido place. Apparently, I went to the wrong place and was quite pissed at myself. It wasn't at Tanglin but at Cairnhill.*sighs* The bloody place is actually at Newton Circus. The people were nice, but kinda distant. Not too bad, I kinda liked the atmosphere except that a)I'm prolly the oldest b)I'm very quiet. Actually, I don't know anyone so yea.

Felt weird but I suppose I'll get used to it. I'll just have to learn quickly.

Went home, zonked out and didn't go for mass. Argghh...Tsu sleepy behvaiour. Double-checked with Sharon the timings and finished reading a mindless magazine and slept. Uneasily though. Someone was playing soccer in my head.

Sunday

Woke up, changed, left the house at 10am. Couldn't find her but finally did at 10.45 methinks. My heels weren't too bad (thanks to cosplay pratice) went to the party helped out with the tables and organization and danced and left.

I'm sorry for sounding so dead, I'm just really tired.

Came home, changed, left the house for grandma's place. I offically hate the PAP. They were having this .....I don't know...Lucky draw thing and from the 8th floor I could hear them screaming and shouting. ARRRAGHHHH!! And I was planning to sleep too! Then my baby cousins came to seal my terrible fate. Frack frack frack....

Woke up with a mild sense of vertigo and grabbed a pillow to make it stop. Read finish This Side of Paradise from Fritzgerald and pondered.

Am I as annoying as Amory Blaine? As pretentious? I hope not. I....I don't know what to think. I think I'm like him, but I don't want to be like him and I have no way to judge whether I'm like him. I don't want to be him.

But he reminds me of me. Poetry writing, read alot and an absolute curiousity for life and it's offerings. I wonder. I hope not. I just wish I knew which side of paradise I stand on.

senseless desu ne
senseless desu ne

Things just keep falling on my head it seems.

Tired..Or maybe I'm just thinking.

Sharon is really lucky to have parents like that. My father would never care for me that way. NEVER. Even upon meeting her father, I experienced a surge of genuine affection from him. Really. He cares for Sharon and her sister definitely and he loves them.....I don't know. Am I envious? Not really. More like resigned to my useless father.

At least her father appreciates my talents.

I'm pretty sure if infanticide was still allowed, I'll be dunked into a longkang (drain).

I shouldn't complain. Many other people are worse off than me.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:35 p.m.+

keloidburningtissue

Listening to: DeG- Berry/Keloid Milk.

I'm so sick.

Of everything.

All this burning pain
Filling the steaming insides with pressure
Like broken valves and charred flesh
Of senseless agony with no end in estascy.
Slient stress of heartaches
Exploding in a mound of mindless blood and gore.

If you haven't realized my state of mind now, I'm very very pissed.

Unsurprisingly enough, at myself.

I never seem to get the marks I want or what I think I can do and I'm always falling short of my -own- expectations. I KNOW I can do better. I KNOW I can get 10 points. I just never seem to get what I -could- and it's so demoralizing especially when you fail yourself.

It's like being buried alive.

suffocating in the PRESSURE
Can't breathe Can't live Can't believe
CHOKING in hellfire falling SHORT
in the depths of this endless water
DROWNING in self made AGONY

And it's not like people aren't supporting me or anything. Auddy was nice enough to bring me to eat Mac's and make me forget for a while until I got back home and the moment I step pass the doorway - my mother my brother my sister. It's not that they don't care, they genuinely want good but I'M SICK OF IT ALREADY SO STOP.

Even without them, I still feel the pressure.

It's like choking and strangulating and suffocating and oppressive and I can't seem to be able to forget that THIS YEAR I HAVE MAJOR! MAJOR! exams. Or at least it's constantly dancing at the back of my head like some mosquito sucking my juice.

I shouldn't be whining.

I'm not the only one on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I need tylenol. I need tylenol. I need tylenol.

Really, no one else is putting pressure on me except myself. All my worrying and everything and my absolute determination (or stubborness) to do well. Ack, I'm so desperate I don't even mind drinking those yucky herbal stuff.

Sometimes all you need to kill is the inside
All is left is a mindless body husk.

I just wish I could learn to let go of things and STOP WORRYING.

So many painful reminders
In all their caring smiles
Building up a pressure inside
Choking self for different self
Into a deadened physical shell.
For the good of many
For the sake of none
Is that a good enough raison d'tre?

Keloid milk.......Fits my state of mind. I'm so inchorent so I'll just vaguely explain what I mean...

/beat of music of ryhtems waiting to happen/ Soft skitterings of unstable guitars/ My mental voice screams through the glass filter/ No one able to hear/ One after another one after another / Pressure from within to heal / But keloid wounds remain / Waiting to be reopened / Blood spilled over again / Game Over?

Actually, offically, I have nothing to worry about. It's just that I don't want a medicore PASS in Literature, I want a DISTINCTION. And not only for Literature, but for History, A Math, E Math, Science and everything else to. Quote someone, "I CAN DO IT COS I'M PERFECT!"

Cliched, overused whatever.

So while I'm indecently moaning about how terrible life is (oh how I hate it when I do it), llet's talk of something else.

How was your day today?

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 08:43 p.m.+

Conflagaration

Listening to: Taiyou no Aoi - Dir en Grey

Okay, let's do this systematically cos I'm not usually systematic and also because I'm losing track of days.

Monday
Super happy and hyper to be back in school and we promised to trade stuff around. Caught up with Sharony, Phiryn and Nekochi. Heard dirty jokes, was quite okay and had fun. Pretty normal, exciting school day because I could finally be with my friends~

Tuesday
Went for Chinese tuition, conked out when I got home from sheer exhaustion. Was very happy! Borrowed CDs from Nekochi and Auddy. Watched the Final PV without sound but lots of nice pics and watched in school comp too!!! I love Taiyou no Aoi~ It's like Yokan! Ripped alot of stuff, including the Macabre concert ^____________________^V very very happy ne~ The concert ROCKS! I particulary like Kyo's white shirt, so I'm going to tailor it. It's like an office shirt with drapey sleeves and I can wear it out as normal clothes so it isn't a waste of cash. Plus I can wear it with my red swirly skirt!

Wednesday
Talked to Mrs Alex about my nightmares and she referred me to Mrs Felicity Ho. Apparently, my guess is right. More yurameki = More stress = More dreams. So I'm going to stop writing on weekdays now despite the number of plot bunnies floating about. Have to concentrate on studies, yurameki can wait. But I'll still write on weekends. Missed Science Partical but it's okay I suppose. Mrs Ho is pretty nice desu ne~

Today
Returned all my CDs, got into trouble with Ms Yip who deserves the title as the Biggest B*tch in the World. I know I shouldn't care about what she said, but she -did- irk me. Sou na~

Anyhow, Nekochi says she's buying Arena 37 for us ^^ Must ask eirivan to see if we can get the Blitz 5 Days DVDs too. After all, Auddy has a DVD ripper! (amazingly enough, she can't rip VCDs)

Quite tired, and during tuition I was busy translating the interview. It's about 10 pages long and written in shorthand English. Mainly because Chinese->English is backwards, so it doesn't really make sense unless I explain it. I did my best, but as usual, some context is lost.

Not to mention that Kyo uses the MOST OBSCURE Chinese. Ugh. >.<

Righto. Aikido on Saturday, 2.30 - 3.30pm. And tomorrow there's Math tuition at Yio Chu Kang.

Sometimes I wonder if I work so hard not because I'm striving for Yoshiki, but to immerse myself in work and more work just to feel....fufilled? Wanted? I keep myself so busy y'know. I follow a scary schedule that makes people wonder how I survive but yeah...Maybe it's not really the urge to improve myself, but because I am lonely (?)

I don't know. I really don't.

Maybe it's a porductive form of escapism.

Running away again.

But I shouldn't whine, I'm lucky anyhow. I have friends who care, a mother who loves me despite the fact I'm never teh daughter she truly wants, a sister, a brother and many caring people out there. It's just......I feel I lack something in my life. Some essence of being or some vital part that everyone seems to have and make it glow within.

It's like peering through a pane of thing glass, you don't feel it until you bang and try to walk through it. Like windows and looking in...Rather difficult to explain. I'm a perfectly well adjusted person with no need for external confirmation but...but.....I wish I had a glow too. A peace of mind, perhaps.

I'm actually quite scared of slowing down my life. It's hectic and messy and wild and timed to the core, and people get irritated because I'm never there but....to drop everything is risky. Especially for me. Dangerous, even. When I'm idle I tend to think and go haywire and overboard with all sorts of goulish and macabre stuff. It sounds good to most, but not good for me. Ever spared a thought for the writer? Anyhow. Yea....If for some reason, I suddenly have nothing to do, I'm go insane with fear.

Paranoia.

So yea...I'm sorry if I never seem to have time for you. It's just that......I'm just scared I suppose.

Well, I shouldn't justify myself. I just wanted to give my point of view.

Queer feelings
Almost nostalgically sad
Fluttering heartaches no reason to be
Like spidersilk balanced so lightly
On sparkling leaves of gold.

I don't know....I just feel weird. Queer and painfully mixed up emotions like velvety steel so metallically bright and molten and hot and soft. Transient? Maybe. More like transculent. Gauzy and light but rough to touch. Bandages? Not likely.......Just silverly spun thoughts.

Actually yellow, not silver.

Well, tomorrow is another day. But an ordinary day

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 08:42 p.m.+

Papillions

Listening to: Darling Honey - Gundam Seed

That's it. If anymore kisamas/crackpots come to my blog I won't only lock it, I'm start doing what Natz is doing and be very very pissed. I value my privacy. ALOT.

Plus I hate all of you so it doesn't really matter.

With only a few exceptions. And don't count yourself as an expection because I actually care very little.

So all you FUCKERS get out. *me smiles proudly* See Nekochi? I know how to swear~!

----------------------------

Went out with Zar, Phiryn and Nekochi for lunch at Mac's. Grossed/Amused them with various acts of licking and disgusting food combinations like fish burgers with ice cream and dirty jokes abound. It's fascinating how *sexy* old men are. The guy in charcoal was staring at me while I licked/sucked my fingers off and then I figured out why. Firstly, I was flirting to my heart's content. Next, I was speaking in horny Japanese, and he's Japanese!

That was just GAY.

Finished Math work and did my differientiations and intergrations of sine and velocity. Tomorrow will be quite interesting ^___________^ I'm planning to ask someone something~ Gee, how vague is that? *grins* Anyhow, it's a beautiful day.

Found the KRcube lyrics, I have some yurameki ideas floating but nothing concrete. Also, I have a DeG doujin in works for Nekochi and a Kyo drawing to finish. I'm also going for Aikido classes on Saturday!!! Wait till I can pin Yo-chan with a pinkie!

On an equally bright note, the nightmares have stopped. I think it was because I was overdoing during the holidays and somehow, I must've pissed some Morpheus. Or I'm just too free~

Spring is coming...With luck on the side and french fries at thr corner, everything would be alright. Found some interesting stuff yesterday and did an anagram test. I'm Type 7 apparently. Supposedly, I'm prone to addictions....Isn't it so interesting? You can find more about it HERE

PS. Nekochi, are you still buying Arena? I'll pass the cash on Thurs.

Love (and die you all f*ckers)
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:27 p.m.+

Love Profusion

Listening to: Love Profusion-Madonna, Fenrik Lane-Hope

Madonna is actually pretty good ne~ Surprisingly. She can actually sing. As in sing ~sing. To the point that I start humming it unconciously.

I'm beginning to get REALLY peeved about the quality of Kaoru x Shinya fics out there. Some of them can't even comprehend the rules of grammer and puncuation, or the standard spellcheck that EVERYONE should do. Next is my -big- problem with the Shinya Is A WIMP issue.

Look, they're MEN. Men in general aren't really wimpy, nor do they cry and pout unless they're horny. Trust me okay? Does your brother pout for fun? Does your father? No right? The point being, SHINYA IS A MAN. So therefore, no matter how many miniskirts he owns, or how often he shaves his legs or acts girly, I doubt that he'll actually act wimpy. I mean, REALLY.

My other problem is Kaoru. Look, Kaoru isn't an absuive, evil, sadistic guy who somehow or other by the end of chapter 4 mutates into this goody two shoes who hops into Shinya's bed. It's unreal. C'MON. It's fanfiction but it doesn't need to be badly written. Nor is Kaoru some govelling guy whose scared of his *whooo* DESIRES! *gasps* and AFRAID to declare looooovveeee......He's just older and thus more restrained but not REPRESSED.

I mean, everyone has hormones. If someone offered you a good f*ck wouldn't you take it?

*looks at the profusion of badly written work*

I rest my case.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:32 p.m.+

Listings

Listening to: The Final - Dir en Grey

Finally finished some work. I'm going to upload all my old/new stories on to my server soon so be prepared for a flood of new Randoms. Also, much thanks to Nekochi and Auddy for beta reading my Kaoru x Shinya fic ^^ As usual, flames will be directed to the rubbish bin.

Lalala~~~ People can stop complaining that I never achieve my work! See! I did!!! ^_________________^

Went swimming today and now I have a fairly decent sort of tan. I'm actually pretty happy cos I hardly ever tan and I think I'm beginning to look too much like a computer geek. I'm sure Yoshiki doesn't want to marry a computer geek (plus he has a nice tan too!). Swam...The pool was a lovely clear blue, turquiose-y, almost like I was in Crete, Greece instead of S'pore. Dreamy balmy palm trees and crystal blue water...

Played a little GGX and everyone seems to agree that Ky Kiseke is GAY as in GEHY or GAI. Whichever fandom you belong in.

Feels wonderfully dreamy today...Maybe I'll get more work done.

I'm been having nightmares lately, and I was thinking of seeing a psycharist. A real one. Not some crackpot that can't help me with my hallucinations. Anyhow, had a wonderful dream. I know it's going to work out. Thanks Kyou ^^ So all I have to do is use the "key" right? Anyhow I'm nnow in L'Tranquil and the tiles maybe dirty and the place has lousy food but at least y'know...At least I'm away from that place.

Poor Pine...did he survive?

Quite happy, but my mom seems to think that computers are bad for my mental health so I can't come online much. *sighs* Damn. Oh well, less yurameki, less nightmares. Still, much thanks to Kyou for all her hard work.

Okay, ja~ Have to change for church.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 04:54 p.m.+

THE FINAL

Listening to: Dir en Grey - The Final

AHAHAHA! I finally managed to get a copy of The Final mp3, not the PV though cos the site doesn't load for my comp. I also have the Biltz Five Days for Filth! Embryo and Fukai.

FILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I love Totchi. I love Kaoru. I love Totchi. I love Kaoru. OMG THEY LOOK SO KAWAIIIIIIIIII TOGETHER!!! *falls down in euphoria*

Besides that, the guitar is just bloody fantastic and the chorus is superb.

I'M SOOOOOOOOO HIGHHHHHHH~~~~~~~

FILTH DE ROCKERZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Okay. C'mon people, I'm open for trades! Let's see, besides the Dir en Grey, I have some stuffs too like uhhh...Kyo's Poem Book and Yoshiki with George Bush (yea, I actually have a clip of that).

For the FINAL time.

FILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

love ya all,
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:27 p.m.+

Laliho~

Listening to: Dir en Grey - Akuro no Oka, Gackt and Yoshiki - Lecca

I looooooooooove Kyo's new look. Forget I said he was spastic. Forget I said he was a digusting nicompoop version of man. Forget I said he was an ugly chimmy smoke.

HE HAS PINKUUU HAIR!

I have a gut feeling the only reason why I like Lecca is simply because Yoshiki is playing the darn piano.

Damn I wish I could be as much of a genius as he is.....*sinks down self-esteem* Stupid stupid tsu-neee....

Bummed around the house restlessly because I didn't do anything the whole day except go for Chinese tuition *go Tang poets!* I feel like smashing something. Breaking, destroying whatever. Something. I should go back to drawing I suppose...

Before I turn pyro again.

Have a little something...Nothing much really. I was listening to shamisen today and thought about Akuro no Oka then about this so I copyed the beat and used it as a base for this.

Yoshiki's genius makes me so...pathetic. Uselessly mortal.

--------Dir en Grey : Akuro no Oka---------------

The slient strum of shamisen

Sitting on this slient hill
Watching the sky grow dark
The stars you loved.
The stars you sung to
I am waiting for you at this slient hill.

Please let me go.............I don't want you

A breeze catches my coat, fluttering black.
You would have said something poetic
How the darkness of the cloak blends with the darkness of the sky
But I can only see the darkness of my heart.

It was never meant to be............Don't touch me

You standing there, I remember.
Strumming your shamisen
Kimono pale sliver against the bleach of moonlight
A butterfly's wings
I held your eyes
Your smile
Never to forget that perfect night
On this slient hill

No! Stop! Don't!! Stop it now!
Blood running in rivers down the slient hill

You were so beautiful
Tears? Or crystals pouring from your eyes?
The white of skin, the sliver of robe
Your screams drowning in the slient night
Screams so sweet like music
Why did you turn against me?

If you don't I'm going to stab myself!!! Let me go!!
Broken strings of shamisen

Your blood...
Flowing...
How could I forget?
This emptiness in my eyes
Your doing.
Dying before me so selfishly
Not giving me your beautiful body
The sickening crimson of death.
Of cold.

I will never ever let you touch me! Ever!
And the music died

Now I stand, alone.
Before you on this slient hill
Teenage dreams, lost, broken
Was there any other way?
Or did all my dreams of love
All end in death?

Broken strings of shamisen

A/N: Shamisen is the traditional Japanese guitar played with 3 strings. It is used in Kabuki dances. In the opening of Akuro no Oka, you can clearly hear it. It goes like "drumttggtinngg". Tried a different writing style by copying the rythemn of a shamisen.
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I wish I was as brilliant as Yoshiki-san. Then maybe one day I'll be worthy...

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 10:11 p.m.+

Urusai!

Listening: Bathroom Window- Fenrik Lane

Yesterday was just _scary_. I went for tuition as per norm and decided to walk back alone. It was about 8.00pm at night and it was pretty lonely but I walked there before so I wasn't too worried. At least, I knew that if anything happened to me, I was armed emotionally and mentally.

Fanfiction does that to you. So does artistic detachment.

It's actually a single road between to rows of houses, approximately 10 at each side, and a street lamp alternating between each house. When I got to the first house, my instincts began screaming even though I knew, technically, there was nothing there.

By the third house I noticed a man walking, or should I say, weaving? He was walking in a sort of daze, left to right, right to left, in a slow steady almost drunken manner. Inspecting. By that time I wanted to turn tail and run but I was too far from my tuition teacher's house and also, I thought I was being paranoid. Fourth house, he was walking in the shadows and I was really really creeped. But I had to pass him at the sixth house.

He wasn't a tall man. I would say, about 150m tall, swiney build, quite old with salt speckled hair. Early fifties. Wearing glasses, the thick kind, highly reflecive. Short sleeve pinstrip shirt, green and khaki slacks. He was clutching something but I couldn't see what.

You know the thing they say about how you can see a soul in the eye?

Well yeah.

This guy had no soul.

Remember I had to pass him? I dunno...but there was this weird tingly flash thing. Almost like yurameki but different. He had this, empty eyes. Devoid. It was black y'know, no pupils and empty. Just empty. I thought hell I should be polite and he's prolly harmless and sh*t so I gave him a slight nod. Then I looked in his eyes again and I knew with every fiber of my being, with all the intuition I have. I wasn't going to get out of here.

Alive.

I didn't shake, and just walked faster. At house 8, I sneaked a peek behind me. OH MY FRIKKIN GOD! THAT SOULSUCKER WAS FOLLOWING ME!! I didn't run 'cos I'm not a fantastic runner and just in case he ran after me. Hell, I didn't know what to do. I just clucthed my umbrella and continued walking until house 9, I checked again. He was at house 7.

I rounded the corner and RAN for my life.

I just ran and ran and ran until I got to the bustop, by that time I was panting and scared and frightened beyond belief. I -knew- this guy was evil. I don't know how I know but I -knew-. And I also knew that if I didn't run, I won't be alive right now typing this.

Honestly speaking, he didn't look vaguely human.

He looked like a...a youkai or zombie or some soulsucker.

I was just so scared.

Then at the bustop there was this guy behind me and when I turned around he disappeared! WHAM! BAM! ALAKAZAM! Nothing! I was just really really scared and frigthened, then I remembered all my onmyouji lessons and followed it.

I don't care if it worked or not, anyhow I set up a kekkai.

I think it worked, cos nothing happened on the rest of the journey.

That guy...........I'm pretty sure he's a soulsucker. It's a term I invented for all the dunnoo......things I see. Like Kyou. But Kyou's great and she's an angel but she's just bodyless. But him? And that guy at the bustop? Soulsuckers. Empty empty empty.

That's it I suppose.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:36 p.m.+

Insanity

Listening to: Whatever.

Was very bored/restless today so I decided to check out the stash that Nekochi lent me. Guess what?

I LOVE YOU NEKOCHI

Oh my Frackin' Kafe, there was Gackt and Dir en Grey and Luna Sea and X Japan and I just drooled my way into the keyboard. Needless to say, I have some questions namely WHAT THE HELL WAS YOSHIKI DOING IN THE LAST LIVE WITH A FIRE EXTINGUSIHER??????

Righto. Told ya I was insane.

Drooled over Kaoru, Shinya and Toshiya and Die while ignoring Kyo's famous spatisicism. Even sis says he wears underwear on his face. Did ya watch the Dir en Grey Filth Blizkrig Live? Yeah. That was underwear on his face.

Ogled at Yoshiki. Ogled at Yoshiki Yum Yum Yum Yum.

Okay. 'Nuff drooling. Have the second part of the concert to watch. (WHAT IS YOSHIKI DOING???!!!!)

Love ya all ducks~
tsu