+tsu waited for you at 12:28 a.m.+

On Good Conscience

I can't - on good conscience, listen to JE anymore without feeling a sense of horror and replusion. It's nothing to do with the music (which is fine and dandy)....The accusations bother me. From reading 100+ pages of news, apparently Johnny Kitagawa was accused of: rape, molestation, pedophila, indecent sexual favours and abusing human rights. It was so bad that he resigned as president, so now Mary is in charge.

And the *ONLY* reason the charges were dropped was because one of the charges - plying them with alcohol, is untrue. However, he did NOT deny molesting, raping or practicing sexual favours. It's just so....replusive.

Can you imagine? When I see Yamapi or Kame or Tegoshi I feel slightly sick now, because who knows? They might have to do that. They might not have any help, even if they wanted to. And the worst is - they did it for you. I mean, for fans. To succeed they needed to be in the spotlight, to be in the spotlight they needed Johnny's approval. Who knows?

I just can't do it. I can't look at them and feel ill thinking about it.

Like.....he recuits young boys! 9!10! 11!....Hell, yamapi was 11 when he joined.

Can you, on good conscience - support that?

I mean, when I say I like Morning Musume - I don't feel the same way because Tsunuku is totally uninterested in his charges. He's not good - but you could say that about the entire Jpop industry....on the other hand he doesn't sexually abuse children. That's just wrong!Wrong!

---------------------------------------------

Went out with mom today to Central cos she wanted to see stuff. Not bad, I like Mapleleaf - but didn't really buy. Just browsed. Had lunch at Waruka, which was really good. I mean, genunine Japanese food....they even had natto! >_< But I like minced maguro + rice, which is kinda rare here. Usually they sell chirashi instead.

Walked down for icecream (cherry flavour!) then hunted for Canele~ OMG it's in such an ulu place! Whyyy!!?!? But yes they have Mont Blanc - it's really smooth, with a frangipani tart base. My complaint is that there's too much chesnut mousse and not enough *real* chesnuts. I like pieces of chesnut in mine thanks. Also, I don't think frangipani (almond) base is really suitable....I think pastry sablee or meringue sponge would be better.

Then it started to rain again, so I called off my swimming plans and went to read instead. It's not so bad, like that.

--------------------

I just can't get over the feeling of being sick :/ I keep thinking how I wish I could stop things like that from happening, that maybe next generations' kids won't have to grow up thinking that this is "shikata nai" or a rite of passage. I mean, things like this is self-perpetuating. If everyone thinks it's "normal" for this to happen in pop industry - then it's like legalizing pedophila.

I wish I could stop it.

I think....for now, I'm off JE. I can't do it. I can't look at them without imagining things. I mean, I still like their current music, but that's it. I don't want new photos, or dramas (I can get Korean ones) or new mp3s. I'll stick to the few I like, thanks.

It's so hot lately....hot, smelly rain weather. Stinking of wet sunshine and sheepdog. Weather that makes you fall sick - it's too hot and too cold at the same time, so much so I long for the evening because then at least it's all safe and covered in night. No rain. Just sky.

It's really violet-ish lately, the sky. Not even magenta. Just a deep pure dark violet - like iodine poured over a wound. Inky dark. I like.

I think, I'm just too tired to talk today.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:16 p.m.+

Ack. Sideways ache

>_< I have a sideways tummyache! I think I pulled something while swimming and too cold = sneezing, rhuematic tsu. Gah. But I will continue my resolution to be a healthier!person. So, must exercise 3 times a week. Must not eat so much sugar. Must eat more fruits and vegetables. I'm going to make my life easier by eating more fruits though, it's sweet anyway so it makes up for the sugar loss.

And....because my NON-KAME!sis has been using a Kame-icon for the last few days and ME!the Kame fan hasn't I have decided to express my feelings in the Most Positive Manner:

Everyone together.....


I decided not to break my tradition of monosyallbic icons. Plus, it describes aptly how I feel in the mornings....I almost made it a WTF icon. But. Whut it came to be. Because I feel like that, most of the time LOL.

Slacky day - woke late, had tea, went swimming and sat on the rooftop and felt really happy seeing the moonrise. I like sitting on the roof below the tennis courts. In the evening, the concrete feels rough and hard and sun-warmed so you can lie down and watch the sunset peeking from the edge under your eyelids, marvel at the gradiently sparkling blue sky and the squalor of black birds that feast when the evening falls. They squawk - like a huge mass of squeaking black cloud and circle your head and the cable antennas like sticks on rooftops.....it's so happy to be there. Like, the world moving in equalibrium feeling. I like watching the birds the most - they remind me of angry aunties and desperadoes and yet strangely beautiful in the way they stand out; stark and wildly flapping against the slow, delicacy of evening sky.

It's nice sometimes, to sit alone and just enjoy listening to the sounds of others. The rhythmic lapping of the pool, the rustling sounds of wind on palm trees - like the sound of shuffling feet or skirts, swaying. Then there's the distant sounds of someone's TV, some mad melodramatic love story punucated by the buck!buck! sounds of tennis balls flying overhead and the echo of children at the playground. I like that feeling - of evening, of settling down. Sitting up there with my wet hair and sopping clothes with my feet and back on sun-warmed stone staring at the endless sky is problably my favourite time of the day.

Kinda decided on what to make for a 3rd layout - I keep thinking of the line: When we were giants Like that feeling of great nostalgia and great victory, of high hopes and "ganbatte!". I think I get more incoherent when I get older, or maybe things are less explainable then a child's daydreams. Not that my daydreams are very much different from a child's - except maybe with a great deal more subtly.

I hope today they show more JE stuff though, yesterday was nuthing except the Korean Rain guy. Bah. His song irritates me because I cannot solve it. Tomorrow I'm going out! With mom! And hopefully they release the results soon because I am dying at the Vauge Information They Gave Out. WTF man......media release????

I think Kame should make his appearance again...



Hahahahahaha....Kame!abuse~ or maybe I just like my own icons. You can use it, just credit to me hmm?:D

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:03 a.m.+

Question

For MTV crazy people, you know Good Charlotte's new song "Don't Touch My Girl" AKA Let The Record Play??? I'm SO SURE the middle riff is a ripoff from somewhere. Is it DeG? Linkin Park? Good Charolotte's older songs?

It's somewhat like the opening of Hades, but not exactly. I think maybe Marmalade Chainsaw....but it's not it either. If somewhere can solve it - I'll be really happy!

At the same time, can someone figure out the opening for Rain?

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:42 p.m.+

markup

Boo. Decided to trade. I really want that seraphim dress ^^;; or worse comes to worst, I'll just go buy it myself after I get paid.

Went swimming, and weather has been mosquito'ed lately >_< Eeee~ I don't like. Dinner was nice, I think I'll go get myself a nice cold!mandarin orange later<3

I think I like JE minimally like the way I like Morning Musume. Which is basically, I like to look and watch but when it comes to music I stick to a few songs only. And I like KAT-TUN's lyrics more than NewS, but that's cos I feel NewS is a bit too chirpy hahaha~

Okay kor's gotta sleep now cos he's going back to camp.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:17 a.m.+

transmission failure

Listening to: Signal

I don't know, but I don't find KAT-TUN very happy(?) - maybe something in the song: what's going on, just movin' on reminds me a bit like a train and the passing scenery and a chance that never happened. Anyway I like Signal a lot, maybe because I feel like that now lol~ does that make sense?

take it easy now

I feel kinda terrible for liking JE so much *laughs guiltily* Like the Hokuto Complex yanno? I feel bad for liking them because they're being abused by their company into moneymaking machines and illegal invasion of privacy. On the other hand, I still find them very cute. So if I support them I also support the company that abuses them (in which they are underpaid), on the other hand - if I didn't support them then they won't have a living.

So that's it - the Hokuto Complex. It's a personal joke on Tokyo Babylon 1 when Hokuto explains that yes she's causing global warming by using hairspray but even if she were to boycott it - there won't be any change because girls are de vious (the exact word is more like "determined/willing to go very far")

I feel really trapped now.
And I hate feeling trapped.

When people try to trap me (which isn't often, since I avoid it as much as possible), I usually lose my rational thinking completely and fight (abeit stupidly) - so even if it's reckless or implusive or dumb, my first instinct is to get out. I can't think straight in a trapped situation. It's like............I just totally freak out and go "AHHHHHH!"

LOL, rather primitive response right?

But. I feel like that. Especially today.

Lunch with Dad and he was really doing the whole sales pitch on me to do Finance instead of Law. And when he said: "I know your character and you won't betray/cheat us" (it sounds different in cantonese) and he said it in such a self-satisfied tone - I KNEW he thought I was caught. I knew it too. My first response was to automatically sign up for Law because I didn't want to be trapped. I dislike it when people try to manupialate me - but most of all, I disliked that triumphant self-satisfied tone that he had when saying that.

And perhaps, what I hated most was myself: I knew deep down that by nature - I will never cheat or emblezze anyone of anything, even if it was not my own company. I'm just not greedy that way. And I hated it that he was right - because in truth did he know anything about me? He doesn't remember my birthday or even how to spell my name or recognize whether it's me or sis on the phone......This feeling of being trapped by myself, is something I dislike. Even moreso when it is by a person I barely can describe as a "parent" of mine.

So. I need a logical opinion.
Someone, whose opinion is not mine.
Someone, who doesn't know about my family (thus unbiased)
Someone, who can make a character assesment objectively.

I would like to do this on my own terms - not his. If my terms and his happen to coincide - then it just happens. But I will do this on my own terms. I have my own plans too. For one, after I graduate I want to join JET as a teacher in Japan. Then afterwards, work a couple of years to get a CFA. I don't want to start work immediately.

what's goin' on? I'm movin' on
We're still alive aren't we?
Take it easy now

So like that. Life maybe - is a dicey game of risk and planning. For some, sailing along is okay because people don't force you to make descisions. For others, it's like a strategic war - and I think, maybe I should take a break from playing. Finish uni, spend a couple of years travelling and having fun before working.

I think part of the problem is also I don't want to grow up. I really hate the sterotypical office worker lifestyle - 9 to 5 hrs, marry some plain boring guy from work, have 2.5 kids and live in a condo and drive a Korean car. On weekends, send kids to tuition and visit in-laws. BOO. I RESIST THAT COMFORTABLE LIFE. I want adventure! Exploration! Undiscovered treasure! It's like episode 6 of Nobuta when Akira goes "I really hate to grow up to be like that". YES. ME TOO. I don't want to be like that. When I see people like that, I feel they are very pitiful *laughs* Isn't it ironic? And most people would say "successful" instead. If that is "successful" in today's society - then I don't want to be successful.

I think, to be truly successful is to have a rich life - filled with friends and family and passion. To be dedicated to living to the fullest and using all your talents and gifts for the greater good of humanity. So that when you die, you cannot regret for having once lived.

So. You can understand my reservations about this whole thing. In addition, the "trapped" feeling anxiety is clouding my judgement.

I need to think.......
Maybe I should go swimming ('cept the weather is against me)

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 04:15 p.m.+

Advent of the Turtle

Listening to: screams of my 6-year-old cousin playing Burnout

Oh god it's 11.30pm and they *STILL* haven't come and picked her up - what kind of parent is that? I mean, I love my cousin and she's fun to play with but I think it's an abuse of hospitality if you just DUMP YOUR KID ON US FOR THE NEXT 5HRS AND GO OFF TO A PARTY. SRSLY. ACT LIKE A MOTHER. (before you have a maladjusted rebellious kid with dyed hair and piercings) It's not just the irresponsibility that bothers me, it's also that she takes it for granted that my and my sis is willing to babysit for so long without any personal privacy or space. I like kids, I like my cousin but I also feel that I'M NOT A BLOODY MOTHER and therefore I shouldn't be the one doing the job.

Except that, if no one does it - who will?
And I'll just end up feeling really guilty when she doesn't get enough love and affection (and nice food, Disney and videogames)

BUT ARGH PREASE I CANNOT STAND 5 HRS OF SHRIEKING NOISE.

*does a mental flipflop*

Another thing that really bothers me is that my mom just turns a blind eye on all this, and accepts it without asking us. Then, she just goes into her bloody room (with aircon and no kids) AND EXPECTS US TO BABYSIT. I mean - I'm not a bad person, I'll do it on my own free will (because on my own conscience - I can't let this cute kid grow up sad) SO DON'T ACCEPT THINGS FOR ME ON YOUR TERMS NOT MINE.

Arghhhh forget it. I tell myself they'll never be a next time but everytime I see her - I know I can't blame her for her mother's irresponsibility. At the end of the day, my cute cousin is totally innocent of all this. I mean - why bother to adopt, when you can't even be bothered to pick up your own kid?!?!?!

tsu's final comment: These People Should *NOT* be allowed have kids.

------------------------------------

Reading JE interviews and I feel really sorry for Kame. I really really do - it's like "gah he has so much pressure on him" and "he seems so lonely looking". I actually feel pity more than anything else for the younger JE boys like Yamapi and Kame because they're under so much pressure to perform and be happy infront of crowds - and I'm not blinded by "artistic management" to know that basically JE treats them like moneychurning machines and when I look at Kame, he looks like how I felt in JC2 - burned out, on the verge of a mental breakdown and stressed beyond belief because of other peoples' expectations.

Actually, I think I'll really dislike to be in JE.
Or in any kind of entertainment industry
You have to be very strong and very confident to survive in that.

I think....I'm feeling a little out of it myself.

Maybe it was YiLin's visit that did it today (that's my cute cousin's name). I mean she's really cute - she learnt the chikachika-ah! really fast, huggles kuroboo and is so totally cute you can't help but love her. I mean, she's no goody angel, she's really playful - but she's so sweet and cuddly. I can't help but feel angry and upset over the way her mother treats her. (ARGH HOW CAN YOU FORGET YOUR OWN CHILD?! MY FAITH IN HUMANITY HAS A -100 KARMA POINTS NOW)

Yeah....maybe the visiting too, is rather tiring. Gu Jie came over in the morning, then after lunch went to MahMah's then finally uncle Marc's (where he had the best love-letters ever...so yummy I nearly ate all ^^;;; there goes my CNY resolution to "eat lightly")

Anyway, tomorrow's the last day with lunch with dad.....I hope we eat Japanese food, because I'm heartily sick of anything rich, fatty or oily. I feel like going for a week of detox because I can feel my skin breaking out from the massive doses of ajinomoto a la MonoSodiumGulamate (zomg I can remember it! LOL) It's not just the oil, but also the fact that most of the food is indigestible and it dehydrates the system easily.....>_< I've been drinking bucketloads of chinese tea to try and prevent that, let's hope it works. And problably for the next few days I'll stick to eating more fruits and vegetables...

Oh yeah! I finally uploaded pics of the beth dress I got.
It's in my LJ account

Hmmm yesterday night/this morning I was watching MTV again and TACKEY & TSUBASA came and they were playing this song called "Ho!Summer" which is a cross between ABBA and.....FLAME OF RECCA. Seriously. Listen to the chorus. Then listen to FOR's opening. Spot the similarity???

I think I'm just really tired......
Sometimes.
I just feel tired about it.
Esepcially CNY.
I feel like those wangsty anime charas staring into the sea going

"itsumo...itsumo......"

And anyway, CNY seems to bring out the worst in my character ^^ hahahahaha~

-------------------------

Talk of nicer things....I hope I get my results soon. I'm worried, but accepting. No matter what, I will be happy for it. I just want to get it over and done with, then go and work now. Result collection is seriously holding me back, and I need leave for Zhuhai before March (or by first week) because I want to be back by June. And there's a 3 month minimum working there, so I need leave ASAP. I've done my best to say "hello" and "goodbye" to everyone already, so I have no regrets at all.

Things must get done, even when you don't like it.
So you enjoy every precious second of it, while you can.

I'll leave on the 3rd or 4th of March, because mom really wants me to stay for my birthday. I guess it's also because next year the house will be really quiet and empty - and I'll be the one buying myself my own cake now, and no one will light the candles for me. It's so strange to think: "This year I am 19. Next year I will be 20." I've never really felt old or young, just simply - myself.

Nicer things too, Aya's birthday is coming up. It's the same day as Kame ^^ I think even though superfically Kame and Aya and myself and Shinya and uncle Marc and aunty Iris and all the other people born this week seem very different - one thing does remain the same is that I think we're all rather dedicated people?

I guess to celebrate we'll take purikura and watch movie and eat cake. Aya wants strawberry shortcake again, but I really want mont blanc. Like. Now. Or soon. Since kor will only join me in May, I guess it'll be a month alone in Zhuhai which means I can't get cake...boo~ :x So I want to eat as much cake as possible na~

(just not so much that I can't fit into my dress D:)

I think maybe, tomorrow I will go swimming. Then maybe tomorrow tomorrow too. And the day after that, too. I like swimming, I find that doing laps (same stroke) relaxes my mind enough so that I can close my eyes and just think logically over everything. Sometimes when I think angry thoughts, I do it very fast and become rather tired.....

I think sak is right, reading too many interviews cloud your English! LOL!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:13 p.m.+

Spiff

The smell of mosquito coil is actually really nice - it smells like woodsmoke and joss sticks and lanterns~ It's weird, but I like it. It makes me think of grass fields and fireflies and midnight kite-flying ^^

Today was better, 'cept that I got woken up early (I expect tomorrow will be another early day). Lunch at Grandma2, so it was pretty decent although I felt so sick from yesterday's dinner....indigestion=bad. I wasn't the only one though, kor and sis had mirrored expressions of pain. LOL, Food is our new Four Letter "F" word.

Anyway it wasn't so bad, hid in the bedroom with my book and spent most of my time hiding~ Then had a nap and stared into space for a while and entertained myself with counting clouds and seeing how many looked like pineapple tarts~

There's a lot of things I want to mention, but kor's sleeping soon and I really want a bath and tomorrow is another long day sooo~~*hugs*

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:17 a.m.+

Please don't take a picture

It's like that R.E.M song: it's been a bad day, please don't take my picture. Actually it didn't start out bad, but now I feel absolutely _lowest_.

Woke up, rolled around the bed and ZOMG OUR PACKAGE FROM JAPAN ARRIVED. I love my dress, my mom was an annoyance (you sure can fit or not? how much ar? wah lau you think very rich hor) There are times, I really want to like....go ARGH HAVE MERCY PLSPLSPLS!!! and kill myself. I mean - I was SUPEREMELY HAPPY and there she was casting doubt on my gorgeous dress. Boo I say, boo! After trying it on, I went back to roll on the bed until audy came

I was still rolling when she came, so I asked her to join me in bed. Not like that you hentais!!! AKIRA SHOCK! How can you think like that!? I mean we just stared at the sky and talked rubbish while she squee'd over her Putumayo jackets. Yay~ just in time for CNY hurhur xD Then had popiah for lunch, and watched all the err...FUN! bits in Nobuta and generally it was pretty fun~ it was like a perfect day!

And Audy is now TACKEY! (as in T&T) and Aya is MASSU!
So we add more people into JE xD xD
JE CREW LOVE!<3

Then went swimming to MASSU! Aya and "WA-TER'ed" her xD xD I think some old habits die hard hahahaha.....considering all the teasing I got from Audy and Aya combined I think it's only fair. They said I was like Shuuji! *fumes* I'm not THAT lazy okay? (Quote): "Everyone knows you and at home you ask your sis to get your water and dress like a slob and you're calculative and money making omg you're like shuuji!"

I disagree.
I'm not THAT popularity obsessed.
(although I admit to indolence, slobbish dressing, selfishness and moneymaking)

The Dinner of Doom

I already had bad feelings of this dinner the moment my mom said that mahmah didn't inform us of the change of venue. I mean, it's only the hostess' duty right? While I was organizing the tea party I booked the venue in advance, so none of this shit would happen. And no self-respecting person would acknowledge a thirdparty invitation. Hell, I WON'T. But mom...*sighs* Omg don't you know they don't care about us already? WTF go and make a fool out of yourself? Why delude yourself that "yeah she was so busy that's why she forgot to tell us!" I mean seriously, it's FOUR people she forgot to tell. Isn't it interesting how she remembers our cousins, second cousins but totally forgets her direct grandkids - the divorced ones?

She makes it like she's so reluctant to go, but truthfully she's excited about it and I think - deep down she wishes she was a bloody taitai with flashy watches and gaudy bags. It's disgusting, but I'm digressing too soon.

Anyway it was all the way in Jurong, and the food wasn't that fantastic either. After the soup, I felt like I was going to die from rich-ness already. Very jelat. It feels indigestible, and I've never been the type of believe in those New Age Cures or whatever but ......I SERIOUSLY WANT A DETOX. Omg, I can feel my insides rejecting the stuff and I still needed to chew and swallow and smile and make small talk.

The only small remission was that at least we didn't need to sit with the HK people, being in the "kids" table. Hahahaha....at least kor got his wish.

But it was bad enough. After a while they started talking about watches and wine and mom got sucked into it. I REFUSE to watch. I refused. I just played with Yi Lin and tied her hair into 2 ponytails and teach her the "chikachika-ah" Signal part. I mean, she's cute and so distracting. Ahahahaha...best was that my boy cousin wants to be in a boyband and he's got the hair and the (bad) dressing to boot. Now all he needs is curls, a bright pink shirt and gay mannerisms. LOL.

I just hated listening to them talk about money and how mom seems to get sucked into these useless consumption. To spend your entire lifesavings on an evening watch just because it's pretty and "everyone has it" annoys me. I do NOT approve of "keeping with the Joneses" mentality. Therefore, I disapprove very very strongly this kind of thing. I don't know how to explain how disgusted and replusive this felt - it's just really ugly. Like, UGLY UGLY. There's no dignity, common sense or pride in any of this - it's just crass consumerism at it's worst

Please people, for the love of JE, don't worship money.

Money - like everything else, is inertly harmless. Because of it's inertness, it is MERELY A TOOL. You should treat it as something to be used and enjoyed it - buy all the lolita you want, it's okay. But DON'T BUY BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT AND YOU WANT IT TOO. That's coveting - and that's when money uses you, not the other way round.

I just feel so......utterly disgusted and drained.
THEY'RE MAKING A FOOL OUT OF YOU! I wanted to scream.

But.
Like every CNY.
I just close my eyes and shut my ears.
Hey, it's only once a year right? (thank god)

Tomorrow will be round2 - at popo's house. That's not so bad, if Uncle Jordan doesn't come. Uncle Jordan is a total yuppie. Like, totally. Think: 2 kids, sedan car, flashy condo, flashier gold bracelet and pushy wife. And they talk like that - too loudly, as though wanting the whole world to know that YES WE HAVE ARRIVED LOOK AT OUR BLING! Idiots. So long at living and they don't know that such things never bring you happiness.

As I've said - money is a tool. You use it, you own it, you enjoy it to make life more comfortable, but it NEVER BRINGS YOU HAPPINESS. Clear? After a certain line - say, a decent home, security and a good prospect, then money ceases to be the most important. It's not unimportant, but it's not the most important. Like, I love lolita clothing, beautiful things and expensive books. I would like to have more cash to buy Mont Blanc and candy (and take taxis everyday!hurhur) But I'm happy. I'm happiest when I have my friends and family, when I'm poking kor about his smelly shirt and gossiping to sis about JE and school, when I'm laughing with audy over some lame joke or squeeing with sak over loli clothes. Would I like more loli clothes? Yes. Would more money make it better? No. I like saving. It gives importance to why I want it - if not it becomes too easy.

It's just......some people don't understand that.
It's quite sad, actually.

I don't know....I just feel drained and tired.
Sleeping might help (plus I feel queasy after all that food)

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:39 p.m.+

Sugared highs

Listening to: Sayaendou

Is it me, or does Shige really sound like a pirate? I mean, during the part where he rasps out the song - I can really imagine a pirate. And Tegoshi is like a cuter, seemingly innocent version of Gackt. His voice, anyway. He shouldn't smoke .___. kills your singing.

I'm really addicted to Sayaendo~
It's just such a genki-dancy song
(plus the WOOwoooWOOOWOO background kills me)

Went out to meet Sak and Ochibi - zomg the 174 was so crowded that I had to miss the first 2 cos it was packed with people. OMG LIKE EVERYONE WAS IN ORCHARD THAT DAY. I refuse to comment >_< Gah. So crowded. Ochibi was late, so I met up with Sak first and we went to the trainstation to wait out (and try out weird Jap-French drink called "Amore Orange")

Hahahaha audy would've liked it, transparent can and all.

Anyway, squee'd over the BABY socks and calender then went to Kino together to open magazines and look at pretty clothes. Then went to Art Friend to buy mamachichi mom's glue. It's kinda fun, to get to know another person.....which basically means: INDOCTRINATION. OMG, I'm turning into a walking-JE-promo. Let's see...during this week I have told at least 5! people of my JE craze and whom I am currently teaching how to be cute. There's nothing more indoctrinating than being coerced asked to do Seishun Amigo with me.

See! I'm a nice person! ^________________^!>

It's like my chestnut cake obsession - I think now practically everyone knows about it, and they're all like helping me look for it lol~ it's kinda nice though, to spread the LOVE! SPREAD THE JE LOVE! *waves arms* SO EVERYONE WILL BE CUTE AND HAPPY AND SWING THEIR BUTTS IN TIME

Okay my brain is just exploding from JE, lol.
It's fun though! omoishiroi! ^-^V

Then we went to Istean to pick up some food, and check out Haru cos Ochibi said that they had *finally* brought in real-brand stuff. Okay, once and for all: YES THEY DID. On the other hand, the markup is kinda whacked. Like, $50 markup. 7000 yen is around $80, and the shirt was selling for around $130+? Something like that. I saw H.Naoto (no Gouk though), Putumayo, Angelic Pretty and MAM. That's about it. It's seriously a great improvement from her stuff and I hope she continues to bring in things like that. Or maybe, persuade Kino to bring in BABY like they did in NY.

Went home by Toa Payoh because I figured Orchard Rd would be jammed at this hour and guess what? I was right! Apparently there was an accident on the opposite side of the road (which would be where I would've stopped if I took directly), so I'm glad I didn't stand in a cramped, overcrowded bus for 1000++ hours. The jam didn't really let up till past 9.

I think genki music = genki person. It's like....surrounding yourself with cuteness, you naturally aspire to be cute and feel genki too. That's why my favourite JE boys are those with gay mannerisms like Kame, Shige and Akanishi~~ I kinda like Ryo too now, cos Audy says his favourite food is Mont Blanc (and as you know, I'm biased ^^). It's like my Morning Musume addiction - kinda weird, overly energetic but crazily addictive. And I like addictive ^^

Difference being: I never had to learn dance steps from Morning Musume! LOL.

Anyway seeing audy tomorrow, nights all!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:14 a.m.+

Sayaendo

Can't believe I wrote a Nobuta wo Produce fic *freaks* OMG. I just wrote Jdrama fic! *gasps* Hahahahah.....maybe if people bug me enough, I'll write hardcore yaoi (when my brother isn't in the same room, and it's in the afternoon)

Ahhhh~ I'm so lazy lately.

Woke up earlyish (in my opinion), stumbled into a popiah party - which actually turned out to be lunch. Everything was okay except for....FROZEN TURNIP. *dies* Oh why oh why won't they just mircowave the turnip before stuffing it into popiah? That stuff was frozen - as in, shardy, shattery, watery, cold. Ew. I won't eat it. So my popiah was more like a spring roll. Ate 2, then went down for a swim.

Was such a sleepy idiot that I actually forgot to take off my glasses before jumping and it was so cold! I'm pretty sure I squealed when I hit the water.

Swam until it started raining then went up and thought how gross the rain was. It was the stinky kind - not clean enough to wash away the heat and dust. I didn't like it. Audy was online though, while the weather went crazy....raining and sunning at the same time LOL.

Anyway kor got really annoyed with all the JE-ing around the house because I was trying to learn Seishun Amigo, Sayaendo and Daitie Senorita. Oh! I can do Daitie Senorita cos it's kinda fun~ I like doing the hiphip thing in circles LOL. I feel like Tegoshi sometimes though....I'm a really bad dancer (and I need to change my handphone ringtone.) So he kicked me and sis out of the room, and I went to read.

Dinner was MORE popiah, but thank god this time they heated the turnips, which didn't taste so bad. Had 2, then ate some soup with porridge. I've been trying to be good lately, and limit myself to eating only when really hungry (instead of eating when bored) so that when I go Japan I can wear more loli clothes and look more like a JE boy~

Ehhh kor's kicking me out. Tomorrow pick up BABY socks at 2pm, go swimming later (I plan to be good and swim everyday if possible or at least 3 times a day) and then ummm...practice more Seishun Amigo.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:30 p.m.+

Honey

Belated Valentines' Day gift....y'know, I just realized this is the first year I never gave audy flowers ^^;;; ahhh gomen. I can't give you flowers now, but maybe this will do.

----------NwP------------

"hey, you think she can see us now?"

"mmm...maybe."

"stop trying to act cool huh? ACT COOL! SHUUUJI IS COOL!!"

"can't you ever keep quiet? it's annoying."

"shuuji says it's annoying! annoying shuuji says!"

"whatever."

A pause. They took in the sky, breathing deeply into the salty-sweet smell of the sea - so different from the musk of Tokyo living. Difference that laid it away from free skies unhampered by sky scrapers forcing sunsets into boxes. It's like this now - just nothing. Lying flat on their backs, counting clouds; Akira's brilliant ideas.

Akira

"Aaaa.....I never got a chance to ask..."

"Shuuji has a question!What does Shuuji want?"

"Fine." Exasperation all over his voice. "I'm not asking." He rolls away, irritated, glaring balefully upwards.

"Konkon." He can feel it, the fingers at his ear. Breath on his cheek.

Ignore it.

"You needed me more. That's all." Quietly. "She asked me to come."

Memory: [he needs you there now, see? she lifts up a smile.]

"Kusano-kun..."

He doesn't know how to say it - how to be grateful. Akira is like a one of those magic sea monkeys - living out of thin air like a special present filled with wonder and excitement that makes you wonder "why do they exist?" until you forget all about it when you watch it everyday and realize that maybe maybe.....it's just another part of you. Part of living.

And then he's thinking and thinking and thinking until he doesn't notice a pair of warm lips touching his. Someone's next to him now, warm like honey spreading soymilk and electric blankets in winter. He doesn't need to worry anymore, he's not alone. It's here, inside him - happy.

"It's Akira-kun, A-KI-RA."

Belatedly he realizes they've stopped kissing and Akira's watching him and he knows that inside that idiot is laughing because his face must be so red and his hair is in an awful, but the arm is still round his waist and the weight is still heavy..........and he can't find it in himself to complain.

"Get off you're heavy. Jerk."

He does, but his hands never let go. Still laughing, inside.

one great big joke, smiley faced idiotic cosmic joke

They lie, companionably in silence.

"I hope she's happy there..."

"Of course she is! Look!"

"Huh?"

"Over there....near the sunset, can't you see?"

"What?"

He catches Shuuji's arm, fingers tracing the sky.

"See? Nooooobutaaaaaa! Nobuta cloud says hi!"

"Idiot." But, Shuuji smiles and waves back at the cloud.

"Although...."

"What now?"

"Let's just hope she didn't spy on us just now! Hahaha!"

"Akira!" Horrified laughter.

"Awww....SHUUJI IS SO CUTE! CUTE! I HAVE THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORL~D!"

"Keep quiet! Everyone will hear us!"

"It's okay Shuuji-kun, everything's okay now!"

"Hn. Whatever you want to think." And yet,he didn't let go of the hand that held his as they gazed into the crystalline sky.

---------------------------

+tsu waited for you at 10:10 p.m.+

How to Be Cute 101

After watching endless re-runs of JE (omg shounen club! omg concert! omg everything!) I think I can safely say what it Takes to be Cute.

1: Always have a trademark move! It can either be a "ganbatte!nippon" or a "It's so bright! It's so bright! Tegoshi-desu!" or a "winkwink" - whatever. TRADEMARK MOVE = +1000000000000000000 cuteness points

2. Have a nickname. Given a choice between serious sounding "Yamashita" compared to uber-catchy "Yamapi" which would you choose? It helps if your nickname is cute (aka. exclaimation-markable) so that your diehard fans can scream it loudly. This works for signing autographs too - single kanji is MUCH cooler (and easier on the wrist)

3. HAIR IS VERY IMPORTANT. Your hair shows you what kind of image you're trying to potray. For instance Kame has a swingy girly-cut which shows his image as a cute bishounen, while Tegoshi has a schoolboy cut (no funny dyes!) which adds to his "innocence" appeal.

4. DANCE, ACT and okay, maybe sing. It's not the singing that counts - cute, parapara dance moves with a catchy tune and a kickass drama is worth much, much, much more. In drama - good characters ie. Tortured and Angsty, Sweet and Cute, Bitchy and Lonely, Weird and Funny are common sterotypes which are a MUST to build image. Remember, everything is image.

5. Act Gay. The gayer you act, the more popular you are. Kissing bandmate? No problem! Love declarations? No problem! It's all in the FANSERVICE - think about it; even diehard rockbands like DeG needed fanservice to come so far *coughKxTcough*. What more to say about Jpop? C'mon! Even better if you have a TV show solely dedicated to fanservicing. Girls will scream, faint, squeal and of course, buy your CDs (bad singing nonetheless)

---------------------

Another cute thing I realized is that doing that Shuuji hairtie thing increases your cute factor by 100. LOL. I tried it just now and my mom and aunty was like "omg so cute!" Thus, we now know : cute is about being stupid. The stupider, the more ridiculous, the cuter. GO KAWAII! ^^!>

Anyway I can do the Seishun Amigo with a PASS now, so I don't feel too bad although I'll never make it into JE. Zomg....I've never wanted to be in a boyband so much. Isn't it crazy? Even when I was into DeG, I never memorized the dance for Mask etc etc but nowadays I'm like "okay today I'll learn Seishun Amigo, tomorrow I'll learn Daite Senorita, day after will be Sayaendo"

I think it's 'cos it's super-catchy
Although, I'm a horribly ungifted dancer

tsu = zero coordination
I make it up for sheer enthusiasiam though!:D
In exchange for teaching me how to dance, I'm doing Aya's GP homework LOL

Anyway life is seriously funny at times ^^

I remember today how I took a walk and climbed to the carpark roof and laid down on the sun warmed concrete, watching the sunset. If I looked up, all I could see was this infinite blueness - broken up only by the fence of a tennis court, the black lines of cable antennas and the birds cawing their way in the sky. A moving streak - like a chalkdust on the drawing board, a seemingly solid line of white tore across the empty expanse like a pair of lips, a cut or maybe....or maybe just blue snow. Someone's shoveling sky snow, I thought as I watched the tracks disappear. Blue sky snow shoved into heaps of white that disappeared or faded back to blue.

Happy Valentines' Day it said to me

It was so nice, just lying down and watching and I was just happy with it - just being happy with how beautiful it was.

Doesn't that just make everything so much more perfect?

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:09 p.m.+

Point

ARGH I don't understand why my brother's gf likes those kiddy cartoons so much. They're so noisy I can't think at night!:(

It's eating my thoughts away from the nice sky and smells, and I can't appreciate it with the sounds of kiddy screaming. Annoying desu ne >_< and giving me a headache

+tsu waited for you at 10:31 p.m.+

Colourfast

crow eaves' flitter
sooty dark against a rising star
evening-
a flicker of houselight
and all I see are trees

It seems impossible to describe how the exact scene happened when I was reading 8 days' by the balcony. Seems so difficult, to capture what is beautiful image and you lose it once it becomes entrapped by words. Besides, I love how profound the sky looks tonight - all dusky and deepening blue with flickers of yellow warmth in the distance; one going up at the time as people come home, and evening wears to night.

colourfast - high fidelity
rich hues hold close
to the changing tides

It's kinda interesting - how art is so much like love. For instance, when the paint inside the tube is similar to the actual colour on canvas (all paints react differently), it's known as high colour fidelity. And how long paint lasts under the exposure of light, is known as colourfast. Just like love, colours have temperature - warm or cool. Then besides that, there's tint which is to describe when you add white to any hue (pure colour). shade is used to describe adding black. Isn't it fun?

It's amazing, how in 6 minutes the sky can turn so dark.
The stars seem so bright now, even though they were barely visible just a few minutes ago.

.........*sighs* After trying for so long I still can't get Seishun Amigo chorus loud enough to be my ringtone~boo~ nevermind, I'll try cutting the song later and dumping it into a wav. file.

------------------

I feel like I should pick up fic-writing again. Hahahaha~ that reminds me, I still owe fics to audy. Can I subsituite the MBMH one with a Nobuta one? Nobuta is easier to write, for me. Candycut fluff isn't really my forte (angst is, though)

I'm still rather in a happy mood, even with the results approaching. I try not to worry too much, but inside I'm still rather worried.... It's natural to worry, although I think Kunal is wrong about the results release and it's actually on the 23rd Feb. >_< Argh I don't know anymore....I wish it'll come sooner so I won't die of anticipation. It's just such an awful feeling to be waiting so feverishly for an announcement.

Anyway I'm suddenly bored of typing
And hey! It's 10pm.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 07:40 p.m.+

Makebelief

honey baked poems
and gingered kisses
all that sweet sweet love

I'm still happy~ to the point of being scared of it. Gods do not favour overly happy mortals. My days start like this: waking up late, rolling around in bed until the cicadas get me up, then I eat breakfast/lunch and read a book. After reading, I take a shower, get on the computer and lazeeeee away until Aya comes back home for me to pounce on her xD then we watch TV, and play computer and then kor kicks me up and I read again till around 4am and go sleep :D

I loooooove slacking. I think it's because I rarely get bored - sometimes I get restless, but never bored. If I'm restless, I go for a swim or a walk or stare at the sky~ It's nice to live like this - an existence of feet on the window, the sky all rolypoly and uncaringly sweet. I like it~ I really do. I remember dad once asked me how can I be happy with such an uneventful existence but I can. I like small things - the everchanging sky colours, the transcluency of light, the feel of soft things and beautiful delicate thoughts.

Anyway I finished Nobuta - and I decided something very very very important. If I get AAB (listen to this God! It'll be entertaining I swear!) I will Do The Seishun Amigo Dance in front of the entire school. And I will do it happily and loudly and proudly as a rememberance for all the people who helped me during that awful period. Because I DAISUKI THEM! DAIIIII-DAISUKI! -/!!<---konkon emocon

------------------------

I hate mosquitoes, but I can never resist leaving the balcony open at night and sticking the fan outside so I can smell everything~ hahahha, that reminds me - my mom says I smell like flowers and fruit. Do I really? LOL. I just like the night smells - like clove cigarettes mixed with perfume and sugary cupcakes and fruit and night-grass and everything. It's always changing, so I like just having fun and smelling it and trying to see what's it like now.

Audy is sending me pics....
Audy is sending me JE pics.....
Audy is sending me ZOMG!GAY! JE pics....

Conclusion: ohhhh Kame! YOU'RE SO GHEY IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

(If he becomes any gayer, I'll be manly. Like. really!)

I'm super-JE'fied now. It's like...I can't say goodbye without a ^-^!> ganbatte!NIPPON, I can't bother my sister without a "konkon" -/!!, I can't listen to Seishun Amigo without doing The Dance and when I'm annoyed with someone, I need to do the "bang!" |/! sign and most of all - NOBUTAAAA POWER!

It's quite terrible when you start practicing in front of a mirror at night ('cuz, it's so uncool to do it when everyone knows) and you go: "it's so bright! it's so bright! tegoshi-desu!" Or the dance moves. Or the nobutaaa-power! Or anything. I realize I'm also hilariously uncoordinated - I'll never make it as a dancer because I move my left hand with left leg etc etc hahahaha...I got the same problem when marching during guides and they used to punish me (and I would run away! tsubaki ganbatte desu!*kisu* and hide somewhere until it finished and go back to collect my stuff)

So now I'm practicing how to be good and better and improve at it~ ganbatte tsu! *determined*

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:54 p.m.+

Nobuta Power!

I have lots of things to think and talk about, but first off - general overview of the day: woke up late, rushed to meet Jasmine and was late by 30mins, took 157, 173 to audy's place, stayed to watch Nobuta, had cake and barley soup and green tea, then dinner with audy + family, went home and watch more nobuta.

I really like Nobuta, really really. Not in the same way as audy does though, but a differentish way......I don't really know how to explain it. Like you know when there's the scene where they paint and vandalize Nobuta's things - well, I kinda know exactly how she felt. Almost immediately, I thought back to JC2 - one morning I walked into school and pulled out my chair and someone had written 'loser' behind in a blue marker pen and I asked to switch chairs with Graham (who was hoarding 2 as usual). And when he asked why, I just couldn't bring myself to say it so I just pointed and he just looked with such pity.....was like "oh ----.....those people are the -" I cut him off then, and I smiled and said it was okay and it was nothing at all.

But the truth is, I was really really hurt by it even though it was by a spiteful person. It's like....it's even worse when he looked at me with such pity. I couldn't take it. I remember how humilated I felt by his pity, how awkward it was to explain and worst of all - that someone was thought I actually deserved it. I mean - I know it wasn't important, but at the same time - you can't help but care.

And.....the feeling of being "produced" is kinda weirdly relatable. I've never really talked to anyone about it (okay, with bearbear at most) but I was "produced" too. Before P5, I was a no one - deispised, bullied, quiet person who didn't even have the guts to say how unhappy I was. *skips* Anyway something happened, and then I was determined to become the Most Famous person in IJ. Seriously. I knew I could do it and then that's how I became friends with Sam Fam and Sam See, how heady it felt to be the one that everyone talked and whispered and that people called me "sensei". And how I "produced" myself in the same way by being MORE extroverted than anyone else - purposely dancing on stage, selling off Pokemon drawings, intentionally fighting with the teachers and everything........

and then I realized I didn't like it at all.
Being famous wasn't worth it.
I liked it better - being my own self
Not the extroverted, outgoing, laughing, talkative person.

Watching Nobuta.........is like sympathy. Sympathize. I'm NOT Nobuta, no matter how close our situations were. It's not just that I didn't sutter and was presentable, it's the fact that I produced myself - that I wanted to change desperately enough to become an attentionseeker. Although now I regret it, I can totally sympathize with her reasoning. I mean....if you've never lived it, you don't really understand how much dread and horror to feel - that the place of safety and learning becomes a hell, the people who are supposed to help you don't look and don't care and all you can think of is how to get out and run away to freedom.

----------------------

Anyway it was really nice seeing audy again~~~ zomg! I nearly walked into her brother's room. And it was her mom's birthday soon, so I had cake too ^^ and green tea! *huggles* Watched Nobuta together as she squealed at Yamapi and I squealed at Tomoyaya (who wasn't even in there) and like that cute scene were Kame does that uber-gay "dame~dame~". Kame is ghey okay, like totally totally. It's really fun though and we even did the Seishun Amigo dance together :D I mean I was really happy

Then had dinner with her family at Tanglin Halt which I never knew existed and walked around a bit and then made lots of funny jokes like "this is the Year of Pineapple!" and that she copied my shampoo while I copied her ringtone lol~ anyway I think I'll be changing mine to Seishun Amigo chorus too. NOBUTA POWER! ^^>

Went home to play Katamari with sis, then watch more Nobuta. Everyone paid on time thankfully, and once the money clears the package will be sent and I think the latest it will reach SG is March 10th. I expect that there's a 3 days' clearance for Paypal, then another 1 or 2 days' to send, add 2 days of Public Holiday in SG, and so.....around 10-15 days before it reaches SG.

I won't be around then, so I guess sak can open the package. *sighs* I did so want to do it too (like christmas, but not!<3)

Yesterday

Entry got eaten up by accident cos I closed it instead of minimizing it. Bah. Anyway~ met up with Sak at Furuma and ZOMG I WAS LATE. (so I cabbed. boo~) I was late cos I didn't set my alarm clock (can't find my phone) and then sis forgot to wake me up and then I was late and zomg zomg my phone ran out of battery too so I borrowed sis's.

Met Sak and ZOMG ALL THE FABRIC AND LACE AND RIBBONS! Plus I had laksa, which I was dearly craving for. And she was such a deprived kid, never eat tutu before so I bought her some to try. Hahahaha I remember like when I was younger, I really thought they were ballerina cakes cos the tutu's reminded me of ballerina tutus. So if I ate more of it, I would be graceful and lovely~

Found contraband fabric and all sorts of lovely things at Chinatown - being in new places/unfamilar places is like a (some say cheap) thrilling experience; the whole "NEW EXPLORER!" feeling *laughs* I really like it, just being in somewhere else. It's so.....adventuresome. And I realize I've been abusing italics a lot lately, isn't it such a teenager thing? XD

Rushed to meet Kero cos I thought I was late, but actually I didn't need to worry - she was browsing in Kino. Bumped into Pamela Teo at the station - hahaha I almost didn't recognize her~~~~~~~ Waiii! I missed talking to Kero so much and did the Seishun Amigo dance in the middle of it LOL. SHE GAVE ME A MONT BLANC AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT I HEART<3! It's a wooden one, with detachable cream bits LOL~ soooooooo cute! I'm keeping it as a paperweight, although it's actually for dessert fruit skewers.

Went to Kino and sat down to finish a book and was late for dinner. But it was okay.....To some extent, I like being alone at night. I like being in Orchard at night- with all brillant lights and laughing people "up and about town" and the general feel of excitement. I like walking at night when not plagued by sunlight and hot air and steamy grass - at night is where all the smells exist in; the different scents that disappear in the heated light of day. So although I felt bad about being late, I do like being out at night.

------------------------------------------

It's just been a lovely 2 days' - as though that Jonas' Day had never happened. I liked today, all the catching up and brilliant sunset and watching Nobuta and going to audy's place. I liked yesterday too, I think nowadays I enjoy being by myself a lot more - I remember how lovely it was to walk home, to sit down by my favourite corner in Kino and watch the sky change colours and thinking that the afternoon light was such a beautifully deep shade of burnished gold. How the sky was so blue. A true blue. A blue's blue. The kind of blue every other shade aspired to be - naturally bright with a smooth, satin-ness of enamel, yet warmed by sunlight so it didn't look too Mircosoft'ed. And how merry and warm it looked - bounched from reflection to reflection, caressing the sides of concrete buildings, warming yet not burning hot. It was the kind of blue that made you think of something near and far at the same time - a very profound yet happy feeling of rightness that welled up inside you when you saw it; as though the world was at rights with itself.

To commenerate that shade of blue - it is offically known as a Spankle Blue. Because it's spankin' clean and sparkly. Thus, SPANKLE! SPANKLIN'! SPANKS! :D

And it's been so nice and starry lately. Just the sound of the word: starriness seems to invoke laughter and merriment, recalling chinese lanterns swinging in night wind, with parties of happy people dancing under the blanket sky, and champange and blushing and roses and sweet sweet smell of sea. Starriness is like a gentle twinky sparkle - a not quite sparkle sparkle. Like a mini sparkle - so light and easily missed it's more of a fairy dust than brilliance.

It's been such beautiful days that I'm slightly scared - how soon will this epoch end? It's almost as though it's compensation from Providence that I'll meet something tragic later (re: results). But. Must prevail. And enjoy the gifts of free beauty as much as possible.

love (NOBUTA POWER! ^^>)
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 11:37 p.m.+

Quick Note

TODAY AND YESTERDAY WAS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFULNESS.

Update later, Nobuta is waiting for me! Ganbatte ^-^!> Nippon!

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 09:10 p.m.+

Cream tart

As though the world is out to prove that I'm really dense and clueless and "whateverish"...... *dumdum!*


Clueless Uke
Take Are you a Seme or an Uke? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

+tsu waited for you at 11:19 p.m.+

Tragedy

For the last half an hour.......I've been trying to learn the Seishou Amigo dance and...zomg! I PHAIL. *cries*

Arghhhhhh I'll just try until I get it right, can't seem to do the leg thing while the arm is waving. My coordination suxxors.

+tsu waited for you at 02:57 p.m.+

And let the sky fall

Listening to: JJr Medley

I really like the remix version, especially how they mixed Sorafune with Daite Senorita and everything else. Sounds suprisingly great~

Anyway, spent most of the better afternoon surfing through Lapucelle.Net and I'm kinda o.O over some things. Like how lolitas must be fallen down stairs, lie passively, sit around flowers and look dead. It's kinda amazing how the poses are always the same.......Like, I problably surfed a hundred or more sites, and most of them were alike.

Did you know that Alice Kobayashi of Moitie does Fairy Wish too? I'm lusting after her gate print (which looks suspisciously like irongate) only that it's BLACK AND SILVER. IN EMBORIDERY. Worst still, I can't find her on Y!J. Argh I want that dress omhuojadfhfdnjd1!!!!!!

I can't believe I just WTB'ed a 450++ dress.
Gahhhhhhhh

Went swimming to clear my head, and the water was nice and cool - then when the wind blew across the surface, it rippled so beautifully I kept thinking how perhaps the water is the texture of the wind, these lovely velvety looking ripples that reminded me that water was like skin.

*peers into mug* I just realized I finished my tea.
Darn. *goes to refill*

I hope the rumour that tea makes you lose weight is true because damnit - I want to fit into ETC! I curse ye genetics, for not making me a normal skinny unfit Singaporean. Maybe in China I'll lose weight due to homesickness and stress. Or actually, I should really stop complaining because I can fit into many things already.

Arghhhhhh I really want the Fairy Wish dress.
It's worse than my Moitie irongate addiction.
This is like physical crazyness insensibility.

Ahhhh~~~~it's nice to be like this.
Just don't think about next week.

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 12:06 a.m.+

Soulfree

you're everything I wanted and more

It's so hot lately - hot like that dried heat that bakes the asphalt into mica-shiny goodness, hot on the soles of feet and shoes; smells of burning rubber and crickets with leaves burnished yellow-green and withered brown, occasionally broken by a longed for gust of wind. Air. Weather like that makes you think of summer or barbeques (the sound of the word: "grilling") and pancakes and wheatfields and dizzy languid arthouse films and fitful romances.

I wish it'll rain. I'm sure the grass agrees with me.

Feeling better after ranting - had a lovely time just reading. I like reading, and I still do, even though I read mostly for enjoyment now. Without the pressure of scoring and "increasing knowledge" the things I read are usually more banal, more childlike - stories for rememberances. I like children's classics, especially Anne of Green Gables and like. It has this whiff of....untaintedness. As though preserved and unmarred by time or place or complication, where simplicity and wholesomeness rules and everything good and noble is rejoiced. It's comforting, when you don't know what to do, don't know what to think and no one can help you......then you read these books and think longingly of simpler times, and also perhaps - reminds you what you have to do, what you have to choose and remain true to your principles.

Not really on the 'net much anymore, except for loli-related surfing. I'm not as addicted to y!j as Kuro is yet, but I love surfing through lapucelle.net because 1. Japanese take awesome photos 2. They have awesome clothes. I have this wishlist of stuff I want : AP puppet circus JSK in black, Moitie Irongate in bluexblack, BTSSB seraphim OP, BTSSB red/black alice chess and of course, IW emborideried stuffs.

I really like making iced tea now, or maybe because I don't really need my tea to be sweet (unless it's milk tea!). Basically it's just lipton tea with enough hot water just to cover the bottom of the mug, then lots of ice and water. It's not so strong that you need to add sugar, and it's bitter enough so there's kick to drinking it too.

Afternoons are so nice~ I used to like the night best, but I think late afternoons are the best time for daydreaming. It's like watching colours and tremulous light, and scatterings of rollicking winds that nip at the noisy traffic below. I have this bad habit of enjoying the traffic jam that happens 8pm at my place every night. It's all honking and beeping and jampacked cars which I can watch the drama hidden behind the foliage of trees, peering in with wicked humour. Terrible, I know :P

Do you like the new layout? My sis complained it was difficult to read between entries (and I agree). That's why there's mini-breaks now, it makes it much easier to read. I find it more tidy anyway~ I rather like the idea of it, the story - if you have REALLY good eyesight, it's written at the side of the picture margin. Part of the fun of the layout is that it's not really one picture - but actually four. And the big blurry looking purplish object is actually a big blurry purplish butterfly, lol.

I really like it - in a weird, wordless way. Like the way people think of kindred thoughts, I think of kindred people. It's those, you are or you aren't kind of thing. If you don't understand it now, you'll never understand it. Like common sense (which is rather uncommon, just like courtesy). People with common sense just have it - you can't teach someone common sense. Nor, can you teach them nonsense - unfortunately.

Oh yeah, SAK! Here's the link to Mary Stuart. Just click on "Collaboration".

KERO! Yep I'll see you in the late afternoon okay? Where d'you want to meet?

Random note: MTV SHOWS JE AT 2.30AM IN THE MORNING. How do I know? Because yesterday they played MisoSoup after WaT and Rain. Last last night was Itou You~

love
tsu

+tsu waited for you at 01:57 p.m.+