Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Dinosaur Crossing
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On Friday, October 4, 2002 at 02:59 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Thanks for the picture Robbie.

Okay, this is not funny. I just got over being sick. I should not be getting sick again. Dammit, I do not want to do the two months of sickness due to back to back colds. Bleck. So this will be a short entry.

Your welcome, Sofia. I know I had lots of problems with webhosting providers and remote linking of images. And the whole purpose of the Mystery Goo fragment was to get it out of *MY* head. Glad to share.

Catt, tell your friend Laurabee that she is not alone in her embarrassment. The summer after my senior year of HS I had a Doctor's appointment one morning. Well, I woke up late and jumped out of bed to get ready quickly. The problem was that my blood pressure dropped like a rock and my legs wouldn't support my weight. I wound up collasping onto a can full of colored pencils. I then drug myself onto my bed, got a pencil that was jabbed into my buttcheek out of my behind, and waited until I could stand. Then I got to go to the Doctor with a sore buttcheek. Fun, fun. Also put a hole in my favorite pair of shorts. Luckily, nothing happened. No life threatening, flesh eating infections ^_^.

Though sometimes I do wonder if I have a scar I don't know about back there...

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Optical Illusions- Need FLASH
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On Wednesday, October 2, 2002 at 02:28 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Aki there are times when you amuse me to no end.

• http://wintyr.tokimi.net/whore1.jpg
• http://wintyr.tokimi.net/whore2.jpg
• http://wintyr.tokimi.net/whore3.jpg

So, I'm probably going to go to search engine Hell for this but I have the most aweful fragment about Kingdom Hearts Yaoi. Not anything explicit. Just a weird little thought that won't leave me alone. I blame trying to get the Mystery Goo for Cneko.

"What's this?"

"Hmmm?" Riku replied as he turned his head to see what Sora was talking about. Sora wasn't looking at him. Instead he was kneeling down to retrieve something that vageuly gleamed on the ground. The sight of the small vial in his friend's hand as Sora stood made Riku freeze. "Sora..."

Not waiting to hear his friend's explanation, Sora uncapped the small vial and poured a small amount of the thick liquid onto his fingers. It was slippery. Sora then brought his fingers to his nose and took a cautious sniff. "Hey! I remember this. It's Mystery Goo. Where did you find Mystery Goo on the island?"

"That's..." Riku started to correct Sora, then stopped himself. If Sora didn't know, he did not want to be the one to explain the intimacies of lube and masturbation to Sora. "... Mystery Goo. You can get it from a specialty store. That is, if you know where to look."

"Really? I took me forever to get this stuff from the white mushrooms. I wish I known you could buy it. I wonder if the stores in Traverse Town carried it?"

Riku shrugged in response. "I don't know maybe you weren't looking hard enough. Remind me to show you where to find it one day." Like when you show an actual interest in sex. I'll be more than happy to show you it then.

Sora gave the vial one last look before restoppering it and handing it back to his friend. "Come on, Sora. Let;s go find Kairi."

"Okay, race you to her."

"You're on." Riku let out a mental sigh of relief as he raced ahead of Sora. Sometimes he was eternally grateful that Sora was so easily distracted.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Gnome Darts
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On Tuesday, October 1, 2002 at 02:36 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Let me tell you about this call I took last week. I work in a call center. Of course the company I work for doesn't want to call it a "call center." That's to impersonal. I don't know what they want me to call it. I mean, it's one central location where we take phone calls and register people for all of the US. I mean, what would you call it? A registration center? No, because "registration" is to passive. My manager's manager wants us to use more active words like "engage." As in "We are here to engage you in your services."

I'm sorry, I'm taking these people's contact information. I am not booking them for a flight on the Starship Enterprise.

But anyway, Let me tell you about this call. I know this woman's name. I had to verify that we had spelled it right. I also know about legalities. So for all intents she shall from this point forward be known as "Irate Woman." Now Irate starts off the call, after I give my standard picking up the phone speech about who I am and where she is calling, by demanding to know why we called her. Understandably this throws me since she's the one who called us.

Irate Woman is quick to clear up this misconception when she demands to know why CIWF (Company I Work For)left a message on her answering machine saying she called them yesterday. I t appears she hadn't called anyone yesterday and wanted to know what the Hell CIWF was thinking by claiming that she had. That's right people. This woman was calling to complain about the fact that we had had the absolute NERVE to leave a message on her answering machine.

Having never had to deal with someone that upset over a message on their answering machine (silly me, that's what I thought they were there for) I told her I was going to put her on hold and ask my manager about the situation. My manager suggested that quite possibly we had dialed the woman's number in error and that I should take her name/number so we coul dmake sure it didn't happen again. Sounded like a plan to me. So I got back on the line and repeated the statement. "Fine," snaps Irate Woman. Then she asks "What does this company do anyway?"

This is a common question. CIWF helps people find jobs. Well, CIWF gets hired by companies to help the people they just laid off find jobs. A lot of people have no idea what this means, so I have to do this quite often. So I give the woman a brief run-down of what we do while I prepare to take her information. "OH!" says Irate Woman in that tone of voice that lets me know somewhere in the the dark recesses of this woman's brain, a lightbulb has flicked to life. "I did call you. But I called you on FRIDAY not YESTERDAY like the woman in the message said."

That's right people. This woman called our number ranting and raving because we had RETURNED HER CALL. How dare we leave a message on her machine! Why, we should have used our Nifty Psychic Powers (tm) to tell whether or not she was home before we ever picked up the phone. I mean, by leaving her a 30 second message we might have prevented her precious answering machine from doing the job it was built for: taking messages.

Once I realized that she had indeed called CIWF before, I got her name and brought up her information in the database. It seems the reason she had gotten a call from us was that we needed additional information from her to get her started. Now at this point any average person, having realized that they had made a mistake, would have apologized. But not Irate Woman. Oh no. She then proceeded to berate me for having to call a long distance number. Supposedly, the woman who called her had left a long distance number and not the toll free number she had orginally called.

Now I am willing to bet this week's paycheck that she was not left the long distance 919 number, but instead simply dialed the number off her caller ID. If the person who called her back DID give her the 919 number it means that that person used the company phone directory. No one at the company but us at the "call center" (sorry, "Place where we take your information") uses the company phone directory. We have begged, screamed, pleaded and threatened and the people in this company would rather call us up and disrupt our work instead of doing something as menial as typing in the name themselves.

So after listening to her bitch and moan about how this was eating up her money (all of which took twice as long as it would for me to just take her information) I managed to convince her to give me her information. I filled everything out, gave the standard good-bye speech, and hung up the phone. As I was emailing the person who was going to be working with this woman for the next month (Thank GOD it wasn't me) I happened to notice what her former job was. It appears that Irate Woman was a COUNSELOR for the employees at a fairly large, well known, and well respected company.

Sometimes, irony just sucks.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Goodbye natural blondes!
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On Friday, September 27, 2002 at 02:33 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I like the world. Yes, I do. This has nothing to do with the fact that I am as high as a kite right now. Nope. I took cold medicine. Not just any cold medicine, I took *gets up and leaves her computer to go see what she tooked* Tylenol Cold (none too drowsy kind). The world is a nice place. IT would be much nicer if I could keep my head from rolling to one side, but that's okay. I think my head got much, much heavier since I took the medicine but I can live with that.

I should write porn. I always want to write porn when I've taken cold medicine. I don't know why. But I shouldn't write porn in here even though this is where I write about my life. Not that my life involves much porn. Or maybe it does. But you'll not hear about it because I know that some people who aren't old enough to read porn read this. I know they do. You can't deny it. But that fact doesn't make me want to not write porn. Instead, it gives me the sudden urge to include cute, furry animals in the porn. Like Pokemon. Pikachu, I choose you!

Come on, you all know that pi-ka-pi translates to "Sex kitten."

I remember (vaguely and only reconstructed from what people who were there told me) what happened last time I took cold medicine. I kept encouraging a friend of mine to do a strip dance. Not that I want to see him naked. I don't know why I was egging him on. I'm sure it made sense at the time. Then I talked about the difference between floppy drives and hard drives in reference to computer porn. No, not the porn you find with computer. Like actually CPU's going at it in sweet, sweet time!

I hope I'm making more sense this time around. I have the feeling that I'm not.

Another friend sent me a link to a site that will take whatever URL you tell it to and run it through the T-nator. In other words, make is sound like the site was being said by Mr. T. I would put a link to it in here, but I can't remember my password to my email account. I could remember it this morning, but I think the cold medicine ate it. I hope it was crunchy and give the Tylenol indigestions. I suppose I could try typing out my passwords here, but then other people would know them. And that would be bad. Maybe pointless too, since this isn't the login screen.

Since Twig wants to hear about Kingdom Hearts so much (I know she does no matter what she says. The mini-Clouds AND Sephiroths tell me so), I have to say that the fact that Squall (Oh, I'm sorry, LEON) is concerned for the Dalamation puppies is vastly amusing. He make look cool. He may act cool. He may even has the same voice actor as Angel, Mr. I am a creature of the darknesswatch me AGNST!. But deep down, he is a big softy who is all concerned about the cute, widdle puppies. PUPPIES!

Sunny, I recieved all the flyers. They are very pretty. I like the bright colors. I shall put them up once I am coherent again.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Redneck Neighbor
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On Monday, September 23, 2002 at 02:21 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I highly recommend the above site if you have about 30 minutes to waste or want to spurt coke out of your nose. Or maybe a combination of both.

Last week my roomie bought Kingdom Hearts. We've been playing it all weekend. She loevs it. I love it. It is a great game. The graphics are faboo (except for one scene early on with the tide going in and out. Gah, talk about bad). The dubbing is decent, possibly some of the best I've seen for a game originally done in Japanese. There are some rough spots mostly from stilted dialogue to fit the lip movements or from lip movements not matching up with the more flowing dialogue. The game will noticably bog down the processor in your PS2 during heavy battle scenes (look ma, slow-mo!) but over all this game makes it worthwhile to own a PS2 (keep in mind, I haven't played FFX), There's only one little problem...

Your companions.

Don't get me wrong. Goofy and Donald are great in a fight (as are the various other characters you can have in your party at times). But every other time I just want to kill them. Like when you are postioning a barrel under a ledge to get to a chest and you get in just so and one of your companions pushes it off the edge. Or when you're trying to jump up and one of your companions gets up there first and proceeds to STAND IN THE ONE SPOT YOU CAN LAND ON. Or when you are trying to throw a box at something and one of your companions choose that particular moment to step right in front of you so that the box shatters into a million pieces against his head.

I my roomie wonders why I took every opportunity to push the companions off when I was playing.

To my absolute delight, there are no cactaurs in this game. I am thrilled! I am ecstatic! You see, ever since FF8 I have hated the cactaurs. Loathed them. I got beaten by the damn giant cactaur one too many times. Three horus of my life wasted on that bastard. Want to see me turn into a screaming psycotic? Have a cactaur come on screen. But there are none in this game. NONE. Zero. Zip. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem. Anyway... this game has monkey enemies. Monkey enemies that taunt you by spanking their ass. I am not kidding. Then there are the big round enemies that stop mid battle and stupidly scratch their heads. How am I supposed to be scared of something that is too stupid to attack me mid battle?

My favorite wrong comment so far has been just after the battle scene with Squall. He wears out a little boy in battle and then takes him to his hotel room. My, my Squall what will people say about this?

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Nude video games?
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On Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 02:13 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

My favorite is the revelation that there is soon going to be a mature rated GOLF game. Complete with cat fights between holes. Oh lord, even the guy writing the article doesn't quite no what to say about that.

And I told Grant wrong at the table before anime last night. The new buck toothed oviraptor was from the early Cretacous, not the late Jurassic like I thought. Bugger. But I swear, that is the most bizarre looking dinosaur I have ever seen. No correction. Mononykus is weirder. I mean, the thing has short, muscular arms with ONE HUGE CLAW. Also up there are the therizinosaurs though I couldn't find a good pciture to really illustrate the weird, elongated fingers and hunch back posture from some of the later therizenosaurs.

Well, since I pimped out Infernal Funhouse as a favor for a friend, I need to do the same for the Atashi Trading Company. From the people I've seen who have ordered from there it's fast and cheap. Anime, CD's, pins, and a variety of other things. Good luck Sunny.

Yesterday, I had my day made by something Sky said. He mentioned my nick to someone he knew was a yaoi fan. They recognized me as "the girl who does the (A)typical GW fanfic." Excuse while I go squee! happily over here.

You know what's really sad? In the space of ten minutes I have seen commericals for: tampons, condoms, herpes medication, and portable douches for women. That's right portable douches. For, as the commercial says, that fresh feeling on the go. They show a lady putting them in her purse as she heads to work for the day. Is anyone else seriously disturbed by this? Can you imagine having to explain why you have a douche in your purse. "Oh that? Tee-hee. That's for when I don't feel so fresh at work." I want to see that about as much as I want to see a commercial about yeast infections while I'm trying to eat my yogurt.

And now, back to your lives.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1999-2000
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On Monday, September 16, 2002 at 01:59 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Baaaa.... just call me a sheep. Books on the list that I've read either in part or in whole.

• 1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
• 5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
• 6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
• 7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
• 9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
• 14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
• 16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
• 21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
• 22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
• 27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
• 32. Blubber by Judy Blume
• 38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
• 41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
• 42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
• 44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
• 47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
• 51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
• 55. Cujo by Stephen King
• 62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
• 70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
• 78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
• 83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
• 84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
• 88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
• 96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

Okay, I have now have a new wish. I want to write a book that makes it onto this list. Some of these books were really, really good. Then again, some of them are really bad. I still can't beleive Where's Waldo? made the list. I only hope that the reason was because someone challenged whether it was a literary work. Either that or someone complained about the slight nudity in it. Good lord, I think I've read about a third of this list. Which just proves I read way too much (or not enough depending on your point of view).

So this weekend was interesting and boring at the same time. Everyone was busy or out of town. Even my roomie. So I played lots and lots of Digimon World. For lunch, I went to Cary and picked up something. Then I had lunch with Shastes (Jag's cat). All I have to say, is that is one people oriented cat. She fussed at me until I rubber her, fussed at me until I played with her, then chirped and stared from the window at me when I left. Still she was adorable. I enjoyed the hour of playing with the kitty.

After playing with the kitty on Sat. I drove back to my apartment and checked the mail. The key for the drop box was in the box. I thought this was odd because I wasn't expecting a package. So I opened the drop box and found something from Amazon. "Wonderful," I think. "Amazon shipped my mom's books to me instead of to her house." So I got to my apartment and opened the box. You know what I found? Robert Compton's "Geology in the Field", a $70 book that I was going to have to buy in order to study for the GRE. I don't have to any more. Itland, you are truly a wonderful person. I can not thank you enough. But I can try. ^_^

THANK YOU!

Finally, do you know what sound two cars make when they hit each other? THUMP! That's the sound. In other words, some guy's insurance company is buying a new bumper for my roomie's car. We're both fine. Though I did discover that adrenaline on top of low blood sugar does not make a good combination -_-;;. The worse was getting out in the rain to talk with the guy. Hey, at least we weren't the one in the 1997 red Mustang and the only thing that got messed up on Miome's car was the bumper. The Mustang got more serious damage (his hood was kind of crunched).

And now, I'm off to read my comics. Bye all.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: The Odd Side of Mating
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On Friday, September 13, 2002 at 02:27 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

As most of you may have already heard, Fanfiction.Net has decided to not only promote Original Fiction (something which make no sense on a site set up to host fanfiction) but also to ban and take down all NC-17 fics. As you can imagine, I am not thrilled with the new direction FF.Net is taking.

I am a support member, meaning that I paid money in order to support the site. There's a reason I supported this free site. One, was that it was a centralized place to look for fanfiction. Rather than search through several dozen sites trying to find my favorite author's stories, I could go to one place and get them all. I could find new authors without having to join ML's (which was how I found good, new authors before). I could leave instant feedback. It was a great idea.

Another reason I supported this site was because a lot of places that host free webpages will not host NC-17 material. They basically don't want to get into the legalities of it. That means for people who have no extra cash flow and must rely on free services, FF.Net was a place to post things that they couldn't (or didn't want to) put on their personal pages. To me that is of great valeu ot the fanfiction community.

Now, those two key features are being destroyed. NC-17 fics are banned and original fiction policies (which, BTW, can be hosted by numerous free archives sites) are taking over. Needless to say, I will not be renewing my membership, I will no longer be linking to the site, I will be signing this petition, and I will actively encourage people not to support this site unless they change their policy. Not only that, but I will not be able to put the complete (A)Typical Gundam Wing Fanfic on FF.Net because it would have eventually contained an NC-17 scene. This bothers me because I know a lot of people would never have found out about my stuff had it not been for FF.Net.

It's not that I don't agree with the concept that somethings are not meant for young eyes. In fact, up until this point, I was quite impressed with FF.Net. Yes, making the R/NC-17 fics not immmediately available, and the pop-up window asking you verfiy you were NC-17 were annoying. But it was a nice balance between allowing people to express themselves and shielding kids. This completely destroys that balance.

I thought FF.Net was one of the few places that would not give in to the idea that my rights must be compromised to sanitize the world for others. I guess I was wrong.

In other news, it appears that South Florida is once again in the news due to a polling error. Dave Barry has a funny satire on it in the Miami Herald.

Finally, you learn something every day it appears. A few days ago I found out that the Earth has two moons. Earth second moon is called Cruithne. For a few day they thought Earth had managed to capture a third moon, but they later discovered that it was only a piece of space junk left over from the Apollo 12 missions. Still, it's very interesting since it mentions La Grange points (the L1 of the article). Everyone who has seen Gundam Wing should remember La Grange points since these are the points where the gravity between two celestial bodies cancel each other out and where the various space stations of the series were located.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Pandas Unexcited by Viagra
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On Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 02:12 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

There are times when I love being female.

Then there are times when I could cheerfully sell my uterus on the black market. I wonder what the going price would be...

UTERUS FOR SALE Slightly used. Guarenteed fully functional. Still in original packaging. Serious offers only.

One nice thing about having my laptop down for the count is I'm finally forcing myself to start drawing again. You know what? I find that I'm actually good at it. I've always been plagued by the notion that I'm just goofing off with art and that nobody really cares what I do. That I can't draw backgrounds. That I lack planning skills. That I can't be consistant. I still don't know if I can draw people, but my other worries have been laid to rest. I am drawing a short (like three or four page) manga style comic and you know what? I actually think it's good.

This is a big accomplishment for me. I am very critical when it comes to art. I want everything to come out perfect the first time. So I don't usually sketch or plan, just draw on a picture until I get tired and then I stop. But for some reason, I want to sketch and do layouts for this project. Heck, I'm enjoying doing layouts and sketchs for this project.

I wonder if this is because, ultimately, I'm simply telling a story with pictures? I feel confident in my abilities as a writer. So when I combine writing with my reduced artistic skills, I wonder if the confidence doesn't leak over into my art. Well, we'll see how long this happiness with my work lasts once I start drawing people. Ick. People.

Otherwise, life has been slow. I'm only coming on every other day (mostly because Digimon World 3 is eating my hours). But I'm still checking email everyday. And now, I leave you all to your lives.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: New Computer Stupidities
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On Friday, September 6, 2002 at 03:36 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I have discovered the thing I like most and least about my job. It is, strangely enough, the huge plate glass window that covers one whole side of the office I work out of.

First the reasons I like the huge plate glass window: It's very pretty outside. The office building I work in is an expensive office building. Granite facing, marble columns, real wood banisters, plush carpeting, and carefully selected artistic pieces wiorth more than what I make in a month. Very ritzy. So their landscaping is awesome. Emerald green grass, neatly trimmed. Blood red Japanese maples. Violet hyacinths and red begonias. Pansies in shades of royal purple and pale blue. Bushes with pale green leaves veined in white. Very nice scenery.

I also like the warm puddle of sunshine that greets me every morning. The windows are tinted, so it's not glaringly bright. Just warm and golden. It makes me wish I could curl up at my desk and sleep. Alas, I cannot. But it's a nice thing to look forward to every morning.

Now for the things I don't like about the big glass window: The tint. You see, the tint allows me to look outside but makes it very hard to see inside. I sit at the desk facing the covered entry way to the building. This means whenever I look stright ahead instead of slightly to my right, I am greeted by whatever idiot is using the entry way. Sometimes they just stand there looking stupid. Sometimes they are picking their nose. Sometimes they're yelling into their cell phones. I saw one lady checking her panty hose in the reflective surface. This is NOT what I want to see when I look up from my desk. And my co-workers wonder why I'm always so intent on my work...

The other thing I don't like about the glass window is the birds. Don't get me wrong, I love birds. But not when they fly into large glass windows above my head and make a resounding THUD! Or the humming birds which attack the window because they see their reflection. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. This upsets me. Because both courses of action lead to stunned or dead birds bodies lying around.

No wonder the grass is so green outside the window.

And for all those who didn't know or couldn't figure it out, THIS is why you do not steal bandwidth. BTW, the link to the stealer's webpage is no longer work freindly. ^_^

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: What a way to go...
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On Wednesday, September 4, 2002 at 02:25 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

My car is clean. I think I can hear Hell freezing over as we speak. Understand I haven't cleaned my car out in over 3 years. There were things I couldn't identify growing in my car along with things I have no idea how they got in there. Who the heck was eating cajun hot sauce in my car? Sure wasn't me. One nice thing is I found approximately $121.39 in my car. Which I can use for it's original purpose. To buy myself a new desk.

I had a desk. Sure, it was a Wal-Mart desk that I got on sale for $30 two years ago. Yet it had served me faithfully in it's role as a step ladder, storage unit, and replacement hardware supplier. Oh yeah, and the few times I actually used it as a desk. Alas, Saturday was it's last day. For I decided to rearrange my room. Which meant cleaning off and moving the desk. It survived this. It did not survive my attempt to use it to rehang on of my wall scrolls. The question answered that fateful day was: will this desk still hold my weight? The answer was no. Luckily, I was just bracing my hands against the top at the time instead of standing on the desk when it went.

Although now, I have a $30 small bookcase which is what I'm using the surviving part of the desk as.

Also on Saturday, I managed to save over my 30 hour Digimon game with my roomie's 11 hour one. Good bye 30 hours of work. Luckily, I was still in the mood to play the game. So I'm working on getting back to where I was one another game.

Finally, Kalil had a slight accident on Saturday. Thank goodness he's fine. Car's a little... well... dead. He hydroplaned off the road and into a sign. not afterwards he called me and told me about this. my first question after hearing the story (besides "Are you okay?") was "Did you keep the sign?" He laughed and told me no.

Now if had been me, I would have had the sign nailed to my wall as a hunting trophy before the tires had stopped spinning. Can you imagine this conversation?

Redneck 1: See that 12 lb bass? I caught that with my graphite rod complete with cork handle and stainless steel guides and my $29.99 fishing lure.
Redneck 2: Well, see that 8-point buck there? I shot that sucker with a .50 caliber $400 rifle with long range scope.
Kalil: See that "Dangerous Curves Ahead" sign? I took out that sucker with a '84 Chrysler Le Baron. Beat that.
Redneck 1: Cool.
Redneck 2: Dude, you win.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: 'Meteorite' hits girl
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On Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 02:11 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I had this nice, long entry talking about religion all planned out in my head yesterday. Then I wound up not having time to post it. And I don't really feel like posting it today -_-;; Oh well.

I know I've mentioned before how I sometimes see things that aren't there. Little flashes out of the corner of my eye that I swear are real but disappear just as my mind tries to confirm that they're really there. Well, they are back in force. Today and yesterday I've seen them about the apartment. They are driving me nuts. I'm hoping that mentioning them will make them drop in number.

Don't feel like writing much more now. Going to go play Digimon World 3 and come up with story ideas. Anime is tonight. Can't wait.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: For Cat Lover's Everywhere
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On Monday, August 26, 2002 at 02:17 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Have you ever been tired? Not in body or mind, but in spirit? I've been feeling like that lately. I can't deal with the world and the politics and the biggotry and the people who refuse to see other people's sides of things. I wish people would act with more humanity. But they aren't and I can't make them act that way just for me. I'm not going to try.

I have always been a great listener. I am observant. I am neutral. I am non-judgemental. I am understanding. Above all else, I am truthful. I try to be kind, but since I am truthful, being kind is not always an option. Sometimes the truth hurts. I guess that it's for all the reasons that people feel comfortable telling me their problems. Normally, I don't mind. But not now. I have my own problems to deal with, my own issues to work through, and I just don't want to hear people talking about or bad mouthing other people.

Some of the tiredness is because of secrets. As a rule, I don't like to keep my own secrets. I don't mind keeping others. In fact, there are some things I know that I will faithfully take to my grave for my friends. But my own secrets... I don't like to have them. It's not in my nature. I like to be open and honest and secrets weigh on my heart and soul. But I'll continue to keep them until I feel I can tell them.

Some of this is because of the politics of fandoms and channels and clubs and friendships. I don't want to be apart of them right now. I just can't deal with them.

So I'm taking a break for about a week, maybe more, maybe less. I will not be reachable by AIM. I will not be on channel. I will be disabling comments in my livejournal. I'll still read my email or phone, but would prefer that you not email or phone me unless it's important (Kalil, you better damn well contact me if your parents pull another stunt like they did this weekend). I will continue to read LJ and blogs. But I probably won't respond or leave comments.

What can you do to help? I'm so glad you asked. Please don't talk about other people around me. If you have a problem with them, talk to them about it. Work it out with them. Don't come through me and don't use me as a weapon in your battles. Try to understan where that other person is coming from. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't assume you know it all. Don't take sides in battles you don't have all the facts about. If I had taken my own advice, I wouldn't feel as bad as I do now.

But most of all, I want all my readers to just listen to me. No comments. No discussions. Just me talking into the great void that is the internet.

That is all.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Dave Barry.com
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On Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 03:24 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

To emulate the great Dave Barry, I am not making any of this up.

It started with a news article from the BBC. It appears that there is now a game to teach men the facts about the prostate. Yes, you heard that right. The prostate. That little organ that (good) yaoi writers know exists... up there... in guys. It seems that most guys have no idea what the function of this organ is. Heck, I had no clue. And that's what the Prostate Cancer Charity are trying to fix with a fun, education game featuring Sammy Sperm.

That's right people. In this game you play a sperm. A sperm which you must guide through such stages as Arousal and Twin Planet Testes to get to Planet Prostate where you board the white spaceship with all your sperm buddies and "blast off."

I swear I couldn't make this up if I tried.

So while the article was good for a laugh, I didn't think anything about it. Then, I found the on-line game it was talking about. That's right. Anyone with Shockwave installed can play Planet Prostate. I've played through it. I think the worst is the first stage where you navigate a sperm around to be aroused by hands, tongues, and eyes. The rest is fine as long as you distance your mind from what you are doing (which is preparing a virtual send off for sperm). Yet, despite how freaked I was by playing this game, I couldn't stop. There's soemthing strangely addictive to it.

Besides, it's educational. That's my excuse for playing it and I'm sticking to it.

Now we go from the very dawn of human life to the end of it. It appears that an enterprising US company called ironically enough Life Gem has perfected a way to create a diamond out of the carbon left by your creamted loved ones. That's right. Now instead of a lovely urn filled with ashes sitting on your mantle, you can carry your relatives around set in gold, silver, or platinum. I really can't say anything else about this without getting really crass. Suffice it to say that I can see the Jerry Springer headline now. "Man proposes to fiance with his dead wife."

Since my link yesterday was to a seller on Ebay, I figured that an article about the strangest items found on eBay was appropriate. Titled "Who Wants my Gross Dentures?" this article about a book called Found on Ebay. Among the strangest items ever put up for auction: a shark fetus, a stuffed banjo platying frog, an atheists soul, and a set of repossessed dentures. Absolutely nothing has also been solf on eBay, for the exorbitant price of $1.03. Shipped at no charge.

Finally, a link for Thorne. Not a news article, but a little piece of humor. The definition and the uses of the word Fuck. A lovely little wave file containing everything about the most versatile word in the English language.

After reading back over what I have written today,I have come to the realization that I am so going to referrer Hell.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: eBay Seller: Suntyger
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On Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 02:21 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

That is one cool Chichiri kesa that Suntyger is selling. For those of you who don't know what the kesa is, it's the blanket thing Chichiri wears with the swirly pattern on it. Suntyger's is not only nice and clean (she uses silk screening to do it), the pattern is straight out of the manga. I love the way it looks.

Thorne, you're rambling about the seasons reminded me of why autumn is my favorite season. It's not too hot and is less humid (which is important to someone like me who tends to dehydrate and pass out in the summer heat). I like colors, thw world in shades of rust and cream, gold and cinammon. I like the way the air is scented with a tinge of bitter chill. I like the way wind from the thunderstorms will make the leaves skitter and rastle like dead, dry bones. I like the way the earth has a last wild buirst of life before it settles down to wait through the winter. Most of all, I love that it contains Halloween, my favorite holiday.

I see that someone is reading Laura K. Rowland's books. I agree with you, the writing is sometimes amatuerish. Not as bad as in the novel Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind (which I swear reads like an extended self insert fanfic) but not top notch either. Yet somehow I find that series rather addictive. I tend to read those books quickly. They're like most romance novels for me:like eating candy. Not particularly filling but sweet, fun, and ephemeral. I think my biggest problem with the books was that I could tell the author was getting most of her information about Ancient Japan straight out of a library book. I am all for research and such, but you can phrase things so that they seem real and apart of the characters lives instead of just randomly placed in the text to prove that yes indeed, this book is set in Ancient Japan.

Nangke has a cool link to a workshop offered by the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. I mean, who wouldn't want to go to something titled Schoolgirls and Mobilesuits? I just thought it was nifty.

If anyone is thinking of buying a game for the PS2 called Ephemeral Fantasia save your money. The review I linked to says it all. However, it forgot to add that I wasted two hours of my life on the game and then had no idea how to save the game. The whole thing is about as user friendly astrying to listen to a CD with no CD player. And it made absolutely NO SENSE! Most times I had no idea what I was doing or where I was supposed to go. I just waited for someone to come find me.

Finally, I almost hurt myself laughing reading this little tidbit about non-tactical nuclear weapons over at One Dimensional. I think i shall leave you on that up note. Good night.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Ox Tongue Ice Cream
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On Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 01:46 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I LIVE!

Sorta.

So I started work yesterday from 8-12 am. Considering that I was stressed about working I got little sleep Sunday night. So once again, my first day at work featured me playing the part of the walking dead. BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS! I am always immensely pleased when after the first day the employer's allow me to come back in. Because I know that first day they have got to wonder exactly what they have gotten themselves into. So after worked ended I came home and napped. Sleep good.

Also went out to eat with Jag to celebrate his birthday. Happy Birthday JAG! We went to the Kanki. It was fun. Good conversation. I wish Em and Cneko had felt well enough to go. But alas, they did not. I hope you two feel better soon!

I think I like work. Today was mostly boring. I sat around an listened to everyone else take calls. I'm nervous as hell about doing the calls myself. I'm going to have to deal with people who are being laid off. This will not be fun. And there's all these ways of doing stuff and exceptions to those rules... gah. Brain hurt. Too much to remember. However, I did the mail right today. Meaning I went and got it from the PO boxes, stamped it, stapled it, sorted it correctly, counted it correctly, and remembered all the companies I needed to make copies for. I was pleased.

<Twig thanks for the sympathy for the laptop. I don't really mind that it's not working because I can live without the internet for a few days. It's the not having access to my stories that's driving me nutters. Why is it that as soon as I know I can't get to a story, I want to work on it? I think it's my subconciousness's way of tormenting me...

Catt, if it's any comfort to you, I am the Creepy Crawly Scurrying Things the Cats Brought in Catcher at my Mom's house. I have had to deal with (in no particular order) live mice, birds, snakes, grasshoppers, moles, and a small bunny. The bunny was by far the cutest of the lot. I found it on the kitchen floor with my Mom's cat Xana. We had an indoor rabbit as a pet at the time, and the cats just treated it as an odd hopping, long eared cat. Also, Speckles (the Eternally Pregnant Cat) had just had a litter of kittens. A few days earlier I had had to return three kittens Xana had stolen from Speckles to their mother. Since she couldn't have those kittens, she went out an found herself another one. Poor little bunny was convinced he was going to be eaten. Xana, on the other hand, was busy trying to get it to eat catfood by brining it to the rabbit one piece at a time.

Okay, that was random.

But not as random as this.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is:
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On Friday, August 16, 2002 at 06:54 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

My laptop is sick. It will not get fixed this weekend. Sometime next week. No new posts until it gets fixed or I start using my roomie's computer again. That is all.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Hollywood Video - Advertisements
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On Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 12:57 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

As a joke a friend of mine challenged me to write an entire post made of links. This is my attempt. It is necessarily short mostly because I am getting tired of typing out the HTML tags. So thank you and good night.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Weird News Online
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On Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 01:09 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

So, this morning was a big pain. Had to go to the Unemployment Office and show that I have been looking for work at 9:30 in the morning. Got everything written out and ready last night. Didn't sleep well because I was worried about finding the place. I'm always like that when I don't have time to find the place before hand. Got dressed early this morning. Left my purse (and wallet) at home. Had to drive through downtown Raleigh where they were doing construction with police cars everywhere and my wallet (and license) at home. Turned in my hand written sheets (everyone else had the form, boy didn't I look dumb?) and found out that because my job is part time I'm still eligible for Unemployement. Did the math and found out what my check would be if I still filed.

A grand total of $1. I don't think I'll file.

So, I finally found information on the GRE which I need to take in order to get into Graduate school. I'm going to need to take both the regular GRE and the Geology specific one. Goodbye $245. However, there is a problem with the date it's given. I want to take the Dec. 14th test. I found out two days ago that one of my friend's is getting married on Dec. 14th. Good lord, first Animazement gets eclipsed by one friend's wedding, now this! My friend's taste in dates suck...

Okay, linking time! Forgot to mention that there's a pretty good Utena fic over at House of Mirrors. I kind of got lost parts of it, but it was good reading and I did get most of it. I think. Then again this is Utena. I got lost watching the series. Comes from being a very literal minded bastard. But still, the fic has the feel of the series. Like it should be a fairy tale but something got twisted and lost along the way. Which is harder to achieve in fanfiction than anything else.

Also, go over to Maystation, follow the instructions given, and check out the Viktor bear! Yes, it's Viktor from Suikoden (I & II) as a teddy bear. Isn't it cute?

Finally, I love today's comic over at Venus Envy. My friends and I were the only people in Senior English who ever got all the sexual references in Shakespeare. It's nice to see someone else really understands. ^_^

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Happy Birthday, We'll sue!
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On Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 01:21 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

So I'm currently waiting for Jag to show up with his cat Shastes. See he's going to be flea bombing his apartment this afternoon and therefore needs a place for kitty and him to stay for a few house. So, they'll be over here. I can't wait to see what Kira and Nadia (my two cats) think of this arrangement. Personally, I don't think they'll have a problem. They use to live in the kitty condo at Second Chance with a dozen other cats. They should be fine with Shastes for a few hours.

At least, that's the hope.

It appears that Lunar has collected a Twig. I'm glad to hear both of you made it to the great land of Texas safe and sound. And Twig, he does look kind of like Sydney. Only he's not thin enough or refined looking enough. Maybe Sydney after he's been living in the wilds for awhile with Hardin.

After reading Lunar's rant about the tablet PC's, I was reminded of this article. It appears that from now on, the Tech. Support within Microsoft will be done by Hewlett-Packard. Even when the questions are about Microsoft Products. Does anyone else see the irony in this?

Once again, I start getting hits from a source I've not gotten hits from before. It this case my FF.Net Profile. Once again, I get the feeling that people are coming and being disappointed. Why can't new people visit my pitas page when something interesting is up? Why do they come where when I'm whining or when I'm being stupid? Why not when I'm being funny or intelligent?

Ah, such is life.

Well, in the writing of this Jag showed up and left again to find more bug bombs. So I'm now currently listening to the sound of Kira and Shastes growl at each other. Nadia is in my roomie's room. When I wandered in last, they were having a staring contest. I think Kira has effectively claimed the living room as HERS. She coudl care less about the other rooms.

Now, I shall work on one of my novels. The second longest one so far at 23 pages. That should keep me busy for the afternoon. Then tonight, I'll get everything together for my appointment at the Unemployment Office tomorrow. At 9:30 in the morning. Good lord...

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Tokyopop's Initial D Name Changes Petition
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On Monday, August 12, 2002 at 04:58 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I HAVE A JOB! A PART TIME JOB WHICH PAYS $11 AN HOUR! WOOT!

Move along people... nothing to see here...

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: FF.Net: Tsaiko's Stories
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On Monday, August 12, 2002 at 02:30 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I remain... jobless. I had a interview for a local bookstore near the University. However, they missed the fact that I had checked the "Full-Time" box and was not interested in part-time work. Seriously, I'd have to be making something like $9.15 an hour in order to get more than what unemployment is paying me. Which is why I'm willing to take the $11 an hour part time thing. Now, if only they'd call me back and let me know whether ot not I have the job...

Well, I asked for in depth reviews at FF.Net and boy did I get them. And they were GOOD reviews. Reviews abotu grammer, spelling, names, etc. I was thrilled though I think I could do with some more "UR GREAT!!!!!! RITE MORE< PLZ!!!!" reviews because all that in depth thinking about what they said about broke my brain. Because with the good reviews, I had to respond explaning my point of view and to thank them. Especially the one that was something like six paragraphs long. Good lord...

I know lots of people state that you have to distance yourself from your work. That you can't think of it as your baby, and instead have to think of it objectively. Which I don't agree with that. With criticism (even the constructive kind) people have an automatic negative reaction to it. That is perfectly normal. It's the same reaction you'd have to a criticism about a work of art or your house or a large project you're doing for work. Anything you've dedicated a large chunk of your time and energy into, have finished to your satisfaction, and then are told to go back and fix, you are going to be unhappy about. Even if what is suggested would make it better.

The real trick is getting beyond that initial reaction. Realize that if these people know anything about giving criticism, they are not attacking you. They are not even attacking your story. They are offering up an opinion and in the end, it's up to you to decide whether or not to accept it. They can't make you do anything. They have no power except what you give them. There is no need to get upset. There is no need to feel worthless. There is no need to get defensive. Ultimately, they are trying to help. And if you're smart, you'll use this to make your writing and your story better.

Now, I'll just get down off this soap box. And end the post. Because I'm going to be a nervous wreck until the PHONE RINGS! I'll put an update of the call up here when I get it. Wish me luck.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Porn Patriot
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On Friday, August 9, 2002 at 12:44 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Someone bought me something...

While intellectually I know that's what this wishlist I put on Amazon was for. But I figured it wouldn't get any use until Christmas or my birthday, and then only by friends (and not fiends like I almost typed) and family. I wasn't expecting someone to randomly buy me stuff. For no other reason than they might think I'm cool or that they know I would like it. They weren't even the cheapest things on my list.

Based on what was bought, I think it's the latter. They got me The Dinosaur Heresies, which is by Robert Bakker. Bakker, I've been told, is an absolute self centered jerk sometimes. But he is the man responsible for renewing the theory that dinosaurs were swift, lightly built hunters in his article "Return of the Dancing Dinosaur." The name alone was enough to piss off most of the more conservative paleontologists. He also proposed that dinosaurs were warm-blooded and has set out to prove it. I can't wait to see what other theories he's concocted since he's known to be eccentric.

Assembling California is a John McPhee book. John McPhee won a pulitzer prize and writes for the New Yorker. If you ever want to know why I decided to go into geology, read In Control of Nature or In Suspect Terrain. He is not a geologist, but mosts geologist tell you that his essays and books are the best geologic readings out there. My professor for Geology 101 required that the class read something by him. It is well worth the effort.

So thank you, to the person who bought me stuff. You have no idea how happy I am. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The list has once again been added to, bringing the total number of items to fifteen. This is so I can immmediatly tell if something has been bought. Which was how I figured out I was getting an unexpected gift. Only 12 items were displayed and I knew I had selected 14.

Posted Knowledge is Power to FF.Net. It's a season 2 Digimon story which will consist of three parts. As of writing this I have two reviews for it. It never fails to amaze me how many people review my stories that totally miss the point. I still get reviews for The (A)Typical Gundam Wing Fanfic that read "I want to read more. When are Duo and Heero getting together. Please post the next part!" Only my version has fewer grammer and spelling errors than most of them. Don't get me wrong. I love reviews. But sometimes the fact that people are totally missing the point saddens me.

Then I get reviews like those from Drie and Ketsurui and I'm grateful. Because they let me know that at least SOMEONE is getting it. I really should write these two lovely people and let them know that we, at least, are getting the great cosmic joke.

And now, I must once again squeal over the fact that someone bought me stuff. SQUEEEE!

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Quote Database Home
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On Thursday, August 8, 2002 at 03:30 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

So I got back an interview at 2:00 today. I think it went well. I hope it went well. It's part time at $11 an hour each morning from 8-12. All stuff I've done before in other jobs: data entry, making calls, Which means I could pick up another part time job in the afternoon. And then next Fall, start taking classes in the afternoon for my Master's. It looks like it might work. Now all I need to do is get the job.

Also, as promised, my my Amazon wishlist. Ignore tha name on it. This is not the real life name you are looking for. And the first person who thinks it's funny to buy we the strategy guide to FFX and then not get me the game get's shot. Either that, or cursed at until I drive to Best Buy and get the game myself. So your evil trick shall be foiled! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAH!

I saw Miyazaki's "Spirited Away." I agree with Flidget and Kristin. GO SEE THIS MOVIE! I love the Soot. I want little Soot balls with eyes. Although, strangely enough, they remind me of the dust ball from User Friendly. And Haku is CUTE! In either dragon or human form.

Finally, safe journey to Twig on her journey to the strange land known as Texas.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Automatic Flatterer
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On Tuesday, August 6, 2002 at 01:40 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

I should have known better than to put something like the last rant up. As of posting it, I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about men's underwear. Or women's underwear. Or underwear in general. I think I'll just mark it down as research (of some form) and move on. Yeah, that's the idea.

So last night I made a wishlist on Amazon.com. No, you can't look at it just yet. Maybe tomorrow. I'll post a link as soon as it start appearing in the searches. Which it should do at some point. That way if for some odd reason someone feels the needf to buy me something for my birthday, Christmas, bribery to write some more, they will know that I need a set of mixing bowls. My roomie's wishlist contains manga and anime and the book Rent. My wishlist contains geology books, mixing bowls, a scanner,a printer, and "The Sims." Not that I think anyone is going to buy me a scanner or printer, but you can't blame me for trying.

Like Itland I find that the Amazon.com advanced algorithem to be less than helpful. Though I do find it vastly amusing. "People who bought this toaster also bought The Sims Hot Date Expansion pack and the Harry Potter DVD." "People who bought this scanner also bought Snow White on DVD." thos were two of the ones that popped up onto my screen.

But because this was me I had to take it one step further. And you know, the possibilities for humor are unless at this point. "People who bought Legend of the Overfiend also bought milk." "People who bought a crushed ice machine also bought Titanic on DVD." "People who bought Erotic Lesbian Love Stories also bought The Roly Poly Puppy."

Okay, stopping now....

Twig you are not the only one who dreams of greatness. I write acceptance speeches in my head in the shower. I don't know why the shower is such a wonderful place to let my dreams of world domination flow, but it is. I sometimes even find myself talking to myself. "And today I would like to thank the state of Texas for becomeing an independent country and then turning over rule of it's great dusty plains and fields of blue bonnets to me..."

Finally, Lunar, if rain seems to follow you where ever you go, would you mind making a pitstop in NC? We could sure use the rain here. And I want everyone to go read her Monday post and click on the link about the plane crashes of the Boeing 737. Very long, but very interesting and good.

BTW- The shelf life of coke is nine months for cans, glass containers, or non-diet drinks. It's three months for diet drinks and those in plastic containers.

Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Penny Arcade: The I To The C To The O
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On Monday, August 5, 2002 at 04:21 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:

Did you know that boxers have a slit in the front?

Okay, so I kind of knew this. I'd heard it in passing mention.I'd read it before in various fanfics. And if I beleived everything I read in fanfics then I'd think that the series Gundam Wing would be all about Duo and Heero having sex, people enjoy having sex and hypothermia at the same time, and that orgams would accompained by the movement of the earth, sponateous fireworks, or choirs of angels. I'd also be beating down the door at the nearest nunnery after the descriptions of some of the male plumbing (let me say this once and for all, BIGGER IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER). But I don't beleive everything I read in fanfics.

So in the sense that I had no idea that the slit in front of boxers actually existed... yeah, I knew about it.

In fact, I made my roomie go get her one pair of boxers out and show me this slit before I would beleive it. After verifying that yes there was a slit by sticking my finegr throug it (and making the appropriate inappropriate comments), I asked the inevitable question. WHY?

My roomie's response: So guys can use the bathroom without having to take their underwear off.

I am mad. I am indignant. I WANT A FEMALE EQUIVALENT OF THIS GREAT INVENTION. And then, when it is created, I want every single pair of panty hose ever invented to use it. Because let me tell you, there is nothing worse in the entire world than having to peel off a pair of hose, use the bathroom, and then hike those suckers back on. It's a form of medieval torture on par with the corset.

If there were something that allowed me to use the bathroom without taking my underwear off, do you know where I'd use it the most? I'll tell you. While camping. Because guarenteed sometime during the night, when all is dark and it's colder than a meat locker, I will have to use the bathroom. In fact, this is the ONLY time I ever have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. This is the typical situation.

Bladder: Get up. We need to use the bathroom.
Tsaiko: I'm warm. It's cold. It's dark. I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow because I'm on breakfast duty. We're staying in bed.
Bladder: NO, we're not. You shoudl have thought about all that BEFORE you had that third glass fo lemonade. Get up, we're using the bathroom.
Tsaiko: No.
Bladder: WE HAVE TO PEE! YOU ARE NOW IN EXTREME DISCOMFORT! GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW!
Tsaiko: Eeep!

Here is where I fumble in the dark for my flashlight. Using my light I find my socks and shoes. I'm already dressed. To keep from having to put on ice cold clothes in the morning, I always put on my clothes the night before. My socks are fridged. My shoes are fridged. I get them on and approximately laced. Then I unzip my tent and with flashlight in hand, head towards the bathroom.

Tsaiko: It's very dark. And I can hear things moving out there. Lots of noises. Lots of bugs. And it's cold. And where's the bathroom? Wasn't it like a 1/2 a mile away from here through the woods. Maybe I don't need to use the bathroom that bad...
Bladder: Hear that leaky faucett? Trickle... trickle... trickle... Don't think about fountains GUSHING or the water FLOWING down the creek or even NIAGRA falls.
Tsaiko: Potty.... got to potty....

This is where I do a long trek through the woods. Campgrounds are alomst always in the woods with the bathrooms at least a 1/2 a mile away. I expect to get lost at least once getting to the bathrooms and wander into at least two wrong campgrounds coming back. Finally, I'll find the bathroom. I'll open the door (which may or may not have a lock) and look inside. By this time there is no discussion of whether or I will use the bathroom. I am in such pain that I would rip someone's hat off their head and use that if it was all that's available.

My nightly sojourns to the bathroom could be because I don't want to use it before I go to sleep. And who can blame me. things live in camp ground bathrooms. Spiders and frogs and insects and scurrying things that sit there just waiting for some poor camper to want to use something more civilized than the bushes. For women, sometimes the bushes are just NOT an option. So we have to brave the campground bathrooms which smell funny, have things living in them, and probably haven't been cleaned since the Stone Age. Of course, anything with a standing structure is better than a porta potty which is all that's bee available at some campground I've been at, but I digress.

If I could do this expedition to the almighty John without having to expose my butt to the world, life would be so much better. Bugs? Don't make me laugh! Freezing cold toliet seats? Not a problem! The accidental walk-in from lack or broken locks? A social embarrassment no more! I would be the envy of every female camper on the grounds. Why? Because I don't have to take my underwear off to use the bathroom.

Now if you'll excuse me, nature is calling and I am once again to be hobbled by my undies.