trashkore@yahoo.com

SFOGS.com?
lala
girl of the month!!!
bleaurgh!
casual banter :-)

jeng jeng jeng
just got home. camp was as per normal. sentry was with Tan. he's fun. gerek. small guy. girls would probably find him cute because he looks 11. when he's fucking 19. anyway...we talked and bitched and joked and cursed one another. fun. * after duty had some Winning 11 games before going to Chua Chu Kang to meet rach. passed her the shirts. i then had dinner at Long John Silvers. rach didnt eat. she was her usual quiet-then-suddenly-talkative self. then again i dont meet her often. whatever. then we went to the arcade. bumped into Aidil GD. that idiot with that tattoo on the neck. keeps calling me that stupid nickname. but he was shocked when he saw me with rach and wanted to get her number..because apparently he finds her hot. whatever. i told him to get lost. played Street Fighter 2 while Rach played some shooting games. i lost of course. aiyah...my arcade touch is ditching me. she then brought me to this place where they STILL sold pirated PC and PS games. i was elated. but she had to go off due to some thing going on with her bf. so we parted while i browsed through. went home with a smile on my face - with WINNING 11 6 English version in my hands. die you Jalan Bahar fuckers. * went home on MRT. bumped into Calvin. we talked abit about the upcoming Dark Funeral show. dunno if either of us is going or not. at first i planned to go straight home but decided to meet anna at her shop when i realized i reached Orchard at about 930. some time left before she knocked off. had some stuff to talk about the recording booking thing, especially the bass bits. i have no fucking idea what amps and guitars are about. * her mom was there too. bla bla bla once everyone knocked off, Alfrey went to chill with a friend at Sembawang, while me anna her mom and su went to BK. on the way there saw a fight between 2 chinese dudes. dunno the story. but it was pretty crazy though. too bad i didnt have a cam. bumped into rina and her gf (keep forgetting her name...sorry). anna's colleague and friend joined soonafter. had some dinner (for some reason i got about a third of a chilli melt hotdog. cool!) and talk cock session before everyone seperated again. * on my way home at city hall, bumped into the 2 dudes from Triple Noize. great. showed they arent overwhelmed by their recent success because they still remembered me. (had a SFOGS.com project with them last year) so we took the train together and talked cock. great. * day duty tomorrow. that means i wont catch the Harakiri jam. fuck. i want to listen to The Day She Fell again. dunno about VV. probably will call Zal tomorrow afternoon. * tape of the day - Jahilia's live set @ Mountbatten CC 31 Aug 2002.

anode anode anode
fuck. anode are so good. im hearing their dubbed tape and the personal copy of the tape they sent me like in dec 1999. fuck. FUCK. brilliant band. * went to anna's shop wondering if she wld wanna chill after work. she had to go off with su and do stuff so okay...too bad then. then i went to meet the SFOGSters at raffles city for project Helloween discussion. i dont know...should i get involved with SFOGS.com's plans on that day or the plans my other friends are having. i dont know. fuck... * went to the gig. many many skinheads...many many more bald heads. (a skinhead is a working class post-mod dude. usually nice. usually male. bald head is an abang lobang underneath skinhead fashion. difference.) came just in time to catch Sane Psychos, then KOK. KOK fucking rocked. fuck fucking rocked! Gen69 were after them, and the whole place was filled with baldies and skinheads. crazy! cops came. expectedly. didnt care...went for makan with KOK and Anu and that NOOB guy (im always fucking confused btwn Steve and Des. maybe they should make tattoos of their names on their foreheads). didnt catch Cesspit. damn. * after gig and makan went home on Bus no 30 with jess. we're both tired and didnt talk much. now im home... * tapes of the day - [Rorscach - G-anx - Oi Polloi - Timmy - RNR - Hiatus mixtape] and [Disclose - Conquest '93 - Concrete Sox mixtape]

Weird instances.
something isnt right here. this is a weird Saturday. firstly Encik Rafi didnt come. secondly L (II) N didnt play at all in the gig just now. we pulled out because when Dead By 6 began it was already 2220. we wouldnt have minded of course but the rest would find it troublesome to go home. heard some stuff about me by some people. then made calls to people whom i usually dont call. received calls from people who usually never call. reached home and found the TV and computer on. WEIRD because Ayah and Ma would always off every damn thing, even if they left the house for 5 minutes. they just came back saying the relative of a neighbour just passed on. i'm thinking negative thoughts. some people are making fucking redundant remarks. fuck. what the fuck is going on?

those that are broken, need not have spoken.
just got back from camp. with not so good news. Azmi aka Biskut got remanded a few days back for theft of motorcycle parts. i dont know if he's going into remand or prison (they're not the same...i realized recently). fuck. he's my "sendeng" buddy. NOOOOOOO! i was cursing him all the way for being so stupid. what if there are other unsolved cases of bike stuff theft in the area where he stole? he's going to be liable for all those crimes...be him innocent or guilty. fuck. fuck. fuck. the sentence has yet to be laid. im fucking hoping he would just get a few weeks. Goh said he might get 2 years. fuck no. argh! * lost a friend due to death in a motoraccident last week, and might lose another due to prison for motorcycle parts theft. sometime ago me and Rino got into a motor accident on the fucking expressway. man. fuck bikes.

GOAL!!!!!!!!
FUCK! 4-0! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! THE MIGHTY ARSENAL IS AT IT AGAIN! * stayed up late to catch the Champions League game between PSV Eindhoven and my darling Arsenal at 230 am. fuck it was worth the wait (i didnt really wait actually being online the minute i stepped home)...because Arsenal romped to an extraordinary victory over the Dutch giants...IN HOLLAND! CRAZY! * i caught the first goal and the 2nd goal in the 66th minute. then i think my eyes got a little sleepy and i dozed off. fuck. that means i didnt catch the last 2 goals in the dying minutes by Thierry Henry. because i woke up, i saw that the TV was on with Yan Can Cook! fuck lah! cheebai. im pissed because i didnt catch the last 2 goals. whatever. important is ARSENAL WON! now its time to look for the away strip somewhere in my room (circa 1993-1994 okay...dont pray pray) and wear it TONIGHT to camp. and piss off all the pro Liverpool fuckers at Guardroom. muahahaha!

!!! RORSCACH !!!
FUCK!!!!!!! a revelation! yesterday when Nidboy came to my place to "mix" the next SOS, and listen to thrash and emocore for 4 fucking hours...i dug through the box of tapes eric sent me a few months back. i forgot that the tapes were there so whatever. found lots of cool titles but the one that caught my eye was the mix tape with Rorscach and G-anx on side A. i heard a lot about Rorscach but i never got any of their releases...yet this tape was in my room for about half a fucking year and i only realized it yesterday. fuck...blew me away. reminds me of Acrid and Union of Uranus caught in a blender. kept listening to their "Proletariat" LP stuff, and kept on rewinding and playing and rewinding and playing. KILLER! * woke up at like 9 fucking am in order to meet Watie at Mountbatten CC to discuss DE-GENDER-ALIZE 2. settled some stuff, and got confused about others. but things will go smooth within a few days i guess... * went home to sleep at about 1130. had fucking weird dreams...all about camp. bah. last thing i need to dream about is...CAMP on my fucking off day. * called zal about 3 and checked if Harakiri and VV were jamming. they were. at 5. i went down and caught them. fuck. Harakiri are so fucking tight now. no kidding. their songs Crayon and The Day She Fell (did i get the titles right?) are now stuck in my head. The Day She Fell especially because of the ambient noise intro and the inflowing screamo-emocore touch. I LIKE! impressive. then the peeps had a breather because Shafa's other band was jamming. then this stranger came up...at first he was friendly. then i found him irritating. and evenutally idiotic. fuck. fucking kaypo guy. trying to bring himself across as a "gig organizer, with a know-it-all attitude". fuck that. berbual world. claims to know this guy and that guy, claims to know how gigs are done and how he could make Harakiri big and successful. "aiya gig all standard one ah...first you audition then soundcheck then gig". fuck that. fuck auditions man. auditions for bands do nothing but strap their well being. i wanted so much to say "where the fuck were you when bands used to put out demo tapes?" but i shut up. Liyana and Anna looked like they were going to blow up, me zal and aish were trying hard not to laugh. * VV were jamming next. there were a lot of cock ups due to the fucked up sound and instrumentation. and that irritating guy happened to INVITE HIMSELF in the studio and sebok sebok. he fidgeted with this and that. he was so "extra" i couldnt believe it. even aish's friend Nina who tagged along, wasnt too happy with him. but at least i got to hear some of their songs. the very same songs which made the Substation Theater crowd fall in love with them. awesome. except for that nabehcheebai dude. * met Dyn outside a friend's jam studio in peninsular to get Rach's shirts. unfortunately there were no more teddy bear tees and SHE tees for cheryl. sorry! maybe next time...if u decide to re-instate the cancelled order *grin*. * went to S-11 for teh O pok and weird looking but fine tasting NASI LEMAK! so it was me anna zal aish sharing 2 plates of that stuff. pretty tasty. the sambal was world class. then bumped into anna's friend Imran (he's probably a drama-mama type...but he's nice and friendly so its cool) who was sitting at the next table. * saw nina (whom i filmed with 2 mths ago) and her bf behind us too...its a small world because she knows aisha too. * we all left at about 1045, with that damn Crayon tune playing in my head. oh well. * maybe i'll pick up bass. someday. either that or turntablism. hmmm..

of rigidity and solemn cruelty II
after the funeral, despite the lack of sleep, i chose to go out. met up with Shayma and Sofyn, who were with Zoriah and Fatin, at about 8+ at city hall. Fatin went back to work (she sneaked out for a "smoke break") and the 3 of us decided to chill at the padang. met the guys from 2 Minutes Late. who were busy composing stuff. then went to get Long John Silver's for dinner, before meeting up with Hikmah Munir and Smot nearby. we chatted and chilled and chatted and chilled...till 1130. by then Shayma and co left...without letting me know! they left my bag behind. wah piang. lucky the 2 minutes guys were there. then Fatin joined us. i was stuck between choosing whether to chill till 2am or to go home by the last train, then i decided to go with the flow when all of them decided on the latter. * saturday. went to CDA for IPPT. failed. hahahah! then went back to camp for duty. Rayelias, Nizam and Ijat had to report for corrective training. which was hilarious because in the end all they had to do was jog 2 rounds of the parade square and do 5 push ups. so they wasted 100 minutes just because of that. CD can get really stupid sometimes. * after duty went to Mountbatten CC. bumped into Randy on the train. we chatted on our way there and seperated when i bumped into Ezat and Salihin. then met up with Shayma and Fatin before proceeding upstairs. Cesspit was playing. i hate ska but hell they played a good set. and im not saying that because Alfrey's my friend. (in truth, i really HATE the efforts of some of my friends bands too...but im not saying which. hehehe). Stompin' Ground were next and fuck they blew the place up. they have a new dark sound, which i totally dig. then met up with the Grindcore Gang. got screwed by all of them because i forgot to call Munir. hehehe. sorry lah. bands like Voiceout, At Cost 46 (with a mad guitarist who decided to break his guitar at the end of their set. lucky i don't know him, because if i did i would have gone over, slapped him and call him an idiot) and Anaconda played. and i sat down for most of the parts! who the fuck sits down when you've got crazed live hardcore bands performing?! which is weird. i dont know. maybe the lack of sleep has set in. maybe its the recent death of arabpunk. maybe its just the fucking stage at Mountbatten CC. maybe its me planning my expenditure for the rest of the month. i dont know. i just didnt feel myself today. plus i was fucking undecisive. didnt know what to do at the end of it all. the grindcore gang are all old peeps and go home by the last train. cheonging at Union Square would only get me home at 5 fucking am. im on day duty later. so that's out. going home at 1030pm is a bit early...especially when ive never been home earlier than midnight for the past 123781982172 days. it's fucking saturday. i wanted to chill till like midnite or something, but everyone is either sick, going home, or going elsewhere. in the end i tagged along with anna alfrey shayma and fatin. we dropped off at city hall mrt and seperated. the yishunites one place, shayma went to meet her friends at Raffles Place and me home. that is until i felt like having roti prata and called Jane. so me and that wabbit met at Paya Lebar, walked all the way down to "rubber hand" and had prata and tea. killer. all the while with a dumb rat going past us. was gross at first but then we both found it cute, so whatever. for some reason i got horribly sleepy after the meal. i was practically sleeping for 1 hour, be it us sitting on the table or walking to the fucking bus stop. amazingly they still had 197 service at 1 fucking am. im not complaining though. anyway whatever man. im home. and tired. dunno whats on tomorrow after duty. maybe i'll call some peeps and see if they wanna meet up.

of rigidity and solemn cruelty I
Rest In Peace / Al-Fateha to Syed Razikin aka arabpunk, drummer of thrashcore outfit xSecret Sevenx, who passed away on the 19th Sept 2002 as a result of a motor accident. * with 3-4 hour sleep nights for almost 12 days running, i was expecting a good sleep on Friday on my final night duty last Thursday when Belo called. he told me the bad news of Allahyarham Syed's sudden death. i was shocked, devastated. following day i went with some of the scenesters to his funeral. in short, the whole thing was painful. it hurt to see his family, especially his father, sobbing uncontrollably the moment his corpse was brought into the house for cleansing. it hurt, when i saw some of us sobbing as well. it hurt most when his father went "Anak ku (my child).." in between tears. and when his relative allowed us to take a look at his face for one last time...i was reluctant but went ahead eventually. i knelt down, took one look at his badly bruised face, and that was it. i couldnt control myself and walked out, sobbing. sure we werent that close, but we joked and made fun of each other, supported each others bands and chilled with each other whenever we could. now we couldnt do it anymore. he was buried on the very same day. i said whatever prayers i could mutter, and kissed his gravestone before we left. it hurts to lose him. a friend. but he was only 22. but that's life. unpredictable. and that's death. cruel. we will love you forever, and keep you in our hearts and memories forever my friend. Rest In Peace; Allahyarham Syed Razikin. *

take a piss...
fuck. i got called up by Encik for a urine test today. along with Biskut, Ayam, Ijat and Goh. i wonder why, since they surpassed the minimum quota of 20 "urinees". (what fucking english is that?) of course we all got through lah. but then i was wondering why me...its always me who's conducting, not TAKING. maybe its some suspicion thing...becos me Ijat and Bizkut are 24 hour sleepers. sleeping at sentry, desk, in the locker room...you name it, we've slept there. * security in camp is fucking tight now. all of us in the Guardroom now are instructed to have an airtight approach to anyone entering the camp. even the main gate will remain closed during office hours! insane! we're going to have things run...SAF/Army style! * its Thursday already?!

records fucking records
Yaphet Kotto is spinning now. side A i think has been scratched. argh. i should begin taking care of my records. but then my room is in a mess. i need space. a larger space. my 3 room flat is fucking cramped. different case if im living alone. living with parents. luckily there are no siblings or pets roaming around. thinking of moving out but that would be chaotic for my street address. but then moving out NEXT DOOR doesnt seem to be a bad idea. but where would the neighbours live? damn.

Telinga Escape Plan
i can't help but make fun of them. i've nothing against them, they're great but i love to make fun of them. especially when Telinga Escape Plan sounds this fucking cool. * lack sleep. had a CRAZY weekend. Friday -- after meeting zal and mich to discuss the event, me and sofyn + shayma (who were there coincidentally) went for makan. zal left to meet the Virgin Violets and mich went home. bumped into this grrl Zara on the way. had chicken rice at Lucky Plaza. fyn couldnt finish hers so i did. kick ass. 1 1/2 plates of chicken rice, with teh O and ice water. for $4 total. then we went to City Hall to meet Fatin. i bumped into so many people on the way...Jalan Bahar fuckers, the hc666 dorks, even missed meeting the grindcore gang (smot especially was pissed becos he thought i bueyed). even bumped into fucking Norman pundek there. yes Red's cousin. i got a free Starbucks drink. in the end it was like...me and 4 chicks (all whom i barely spoke to till that day) chilling out. we all walked around and ended up chilling at Boat Quay. the grrls made me stay (i swore i planned to reach home by midnite). then they dragged me to Mad Monks (we crashed) and had some dancing shit going on. the music was lame but free...who cares. in the end i went home at 5 fucking am. i was going "shit...how sia..next day morning duty" but i didnt care. at least i can brag that i hung out with 4 chicks! muahahaha! on a serious note, the 4 grrls were great company. there wasnt any gender barrier when it came to communicating. they made me feel welcome. which is awesome! cooler thing was the fact i made some new friends that day. friends that you will probably hang out, chill and talk rot with in the future. coolio. * Saturday -- NC pulled out of The Cull show. so L2N was supposed to take over. In the end only Brian and i were there...the rest were missing for different reasons. so Rememories had an impromptu take-over set. acak berd and syraff were fucking nervous. we ended up playing noisecore. KILLER! * the gig rocked. pity i had to miss half of it due to duty. i managed to catch Eastbay, UBF, Bloody Rejects. which was cool enough. * after the show me and the 2 new friends of mine Fatin and Zara headed down to Union Sq for the drum & bass thing. Shayma pulled out last minute and Fyn went to Sentosa for MTV Grind instead. bah. and the atmosphere sucked...lesser people turned up...prolly due to MTV Grind. but it was fun nonetheless...we "langgar" the rules (i'm not telling how but it was fun) and danced. blah blah blah...got home at 5am again. * sunday -- covered Hairie on night duty. no more fucking extras. yay. monday -- my off day. AND WE FUCKING HAD A RECALL. argh! was supposed to meet anna at 630 today to pass her something, and at 640 fucking pm, Ijat called and told me i was activated. so zoom...i rushed to camp, only to find i was the first fucking idiot from Guardroom. i thought it was a "sign and fuck off" thing but no! we had to stay for 2 hours so that that stupid Deputy Comdr could talk cock for 5 minutes. sigh. and intake 85 enlists tomorrow. Recall today, Enlistment tomorrow. how stupid. * in the end met up anna at 1015. like 2 hours late. luckily she was with her mom 8pm onwards...and Yanie and Farah soonafter. we chilled, and this dude called David joined us. anna's mom's new hairdo fucking rocks. reached home at about 1220. night duty next. nabeh cheebai.

*(#@#$#@#!
fuck. never fucking expected friday and saturday to be a conglomerate of some of the best and most memorable days (well nights actually) of my life. wow. fuck hell wow.

MICHAEL JACKSON RULES!
just got home and Dad was playing a video of Michael Jackson. fuck! "you are not alone..." just ROCKED. * had the impromptu outing just now. went to Punggol and (whats left of) Bidadari Christian cemetery. had some freaky sensations there. weird noises, the sudden crash in one of the famed 4 Punggol houses. had that journalist dude and his cameraman part of this too. cool.

yesterday and today
went to camp yesterday and bumped into Tian Fu...ex CHR schoolmate. he looks a lot muscular now but he was shocked that i could still recognize him. he called me huge. then i wonder how i was REALLY like circa 1996-1998... * today -- despite the lack of sleep i only managed to sleep 2 hours. i was hoping for 5. im sleeping lesser by the day. someday i think i can only sleep 5 hours max per 24 hrs. which isnt necessarily a bad thing. so...i didnt get to meet the Harakirians. had that SFOGS.com meeting at Bishan at 830pm. met Jane, Jiamin and this beng dude whom i once met before...Shaun...in town for dinner before the meeting. on the way to Bishan i had to bump into Nor again. with her boyfriend. damn. fucking suey. always. anyway what the fuck. im home. i refuse to brood about stuff again because it's a fucking waste of time and energy. * on a serious note...i really hope the rift between me and you doesnt go on for long. i know i really hurt you, and from the bottom of my heart i apologize. i just hope time heals the wounds. till then, take care.

written...
sometimes i wouldnt mind sitting at sentry for 6 hours straight at night. sometimes. yesterday i penned something i never penned before, and i hope one day (next year i hope) it will materialize. i won't say much except that its is very much a presentation of the trials and tribulations of life. depicted from the eye of certain characters. (aish should guess this becos i gave her a hint a while back) * nothing much at camp last night. i and Rayelias had do drop 20 for laughing during the handover bit just now. it was hard not to laugh with Curren John and Lta Svend talking to themselves and making silly faces and voices. * want to get the passport extended later in camp. maybe KL next week. i don't know. * i hope to catch VV jam tomorrow...if they ever do. we'll see. * and Nid... i've finally settled on what i want for the SOS 2 release...contact me soon. * can't wait for Saturday. might have a surprise you know...

withstand.
SDRE is on the stereo now. awesome. i dreamt that i was listening to Artful just now. dad woke me at 730 asking if i was on day or night duty. i answered "night" and went back to sleep. got the SMS from Goh, saying he will be on MC today and tomorrow. called him and he told me about last night. while i was absent Mamat made himself Guard Comdr. and screwed up. surprise was that even Ayam sided with Goh and Sgt Jumadi. Mamat is starting his bullshit again. i wish he could just lie PROPERLY. we arent gullible 5 year olds anymore. yesterday's drama has made me inspired. very inspired. but i just hope i don't go as far as to write another ALJUNIED-type song.

you beautify everything.
waited 7 hours to get the answer i wanted. good to talk to you again. but what happened after that, on the phone, leaves much to be desired. but then again, maybe it's just me. overthinking, and brooding. * the CD you lent me was beautiful. and i haven't even popped it in yet. sometimes, just sometimes, you CAN judge a book by its cover. enchanting art, captivating words. hell, its Sunny Day Real Estate. "In Circles" was one of the tracks. Funny for i replayed it on my tape player last week. From a mixtape. with Orchid, DS-13, Masonna and Sore Throat. Indierock amongst chaos. How artful. And it still is a favourite. Somehow the entire CD had an additional feel. An extra punch. For it has been glazed with an awesome splendour, simply because it belonged to you. And simply because you brought it without me telling you to. Which is why i feel so guilty about offending you earlier. I just hope things will be back to normal. You're a very sweet person, albeit ungeneric to it all. I hope all goes back to normal. Right?

so is it all okay yet? have i been forgiven? i still sense otherwise. i know i fucked up, but please don't subject me to this. how true were your words? mine were spelt with purity. but how could you go as far as to delete me from the box? did you do it by accident, by intention or neither at all? now i'm beginning to bear hapless thoughts again. i'd like to hear it from you, honestly, purely, immaculately. could we ever be?

i really hope you're reading this...
please pick up the phone. im sorry that i said more than i should have. it was my mistake. though i made them swear to secrecy. i could have kept it from you, but thats not my style. lying to you will never be part of my agenda. you can lie to me as much as you want, but i can never bear to do the same to you. that is if you ever do. i'm really sorry. i swear i would do anything to make it up to you. i hope we don't stop here. i wouldnt know how to take it. i'm really sorry. you're what's left of my grace. please forgive me.

is this it, or is this not?
why did you keep it from me? you can't lie to me about stuff like this, for i've always been on the losing ends. of these struggles, of these timeless battles. battles where sanity could never exist. why are you silent? do you even give a fuck at all? i thought you would care. and i hoped you would care. do you even? don't i mean anything to you? i fear. i fear that you would be another one of them. the elite them. those who keep pushing me down just as i am about to reach the peak. of this seemingly endless plateau. i don't want to go through hell and back again. i'm a weakened fighter. but still a fighter nonetheless. my flame burns solely on you. and i hope you would acknowledge this. or at least give me an answer. but forgive me if all i'm asking for is good news. i'm sick of walking away, in defeat.

sore eyes
yes. its official. ive got sore eyes. and 3 days MC. Ijat got it first, then Izwan Shah, and now me. crazed. * went to meet them Harakirians yesterday after their jam, and mich and jess were there too. we chilled and hung out, and had a killer dinner at Beach Rd. then took a bus to Plaza Singapure coz Zal wanted to look at guitars. somewhere along my eye became red. Jess and Mich were really freaked out because it was super bloodshot, so evil looking it beat the Terminator. got some eye-mo on. but i think the eye just got worse. bumped into Jane at Lucky Plaza too, she got freaked out as well. * got all the pics of the 31st Aug gig from anna. now its up to me to choose which is which. probably will "bo" $20 for them pics. * went back to camp instead of home. woke up at about 530am and went to the last minute rehearsal of the Flagship thingie at Bishan. my eye was so bad that the RSM and Officer in charge excused me immediately. went back to camp, saw the MO and got 3 days MC. much to the displeasure of Curren John and Helmy. who cares. its my fucking eye. and now that i just got up from bed, BOTH my eyes are red. and ive cancelled my plans for today and decided to be a good boy and stay home. home has been like a hotel for the past few months anyway. i cant remember the last time i stayed home for more than 24 hours straight. * anna had her interview today at Mcpherson. wonder how it went.

expectations may shatter, dreams may never come true. in my darkest hour, my hope lies in you - Kilnemia
fuck. Kilnemia are fucking legends. * Sunday - went to Mamat's sister's wedding. missed the bride and groom, but its okay...the Guardroom Kompuak was there...drinking syrup, eating and karaoke-ing. crazed. we all hung around and did typical Malay wedding guest stuff before i left at 415pm. bumped into "Kucing" Goh Koon Yong on the bus on the way to camp (nite duty mah). he work part time at McDonald's. he looks as funny as ever. he might be nerd as fuck but he was one of my closest buds in recruit life. * duty went as per normal...just that Ayam came late, for he sent his gf home. dont care lah. i've given up on him lah. if he changes it has to come from himself. not that i'm going to let him kaysiao all the way. i'll definitely cut in when need be. but what the fuck. * Idi had an asthma attack just when the Guardroom Kompuak was going back to camp (the guys chose to stay in due to work/duty on Monday), and fainted. was taken to the NUH A&E. he didnt have an attack for years...(he's 28 now) so it was pretty violent. Rizal especially was freaked out. I SMSed Ijat and Nizam and they responded by coming back to camp. everyone was really concerned. such demonstates the closeness of the Guardroom fuckers. cool. * Monday -- just got home from town. have to get up really fucking early later, at 530am due to the rehearsal/briefing of the Flagship function nonsense on saturday. i hope it wont take too long. i wanna meet Jane, since i didnt meet her at all just now. Commissioner visit again on Wed, and im praying i dont have to cover Biskut on Thursday night. * had the meeting with Colin and Calvin just now, over certain uncertainties...Colin had the $2.40 meal coupons for BK so we discussed everything there. things should go well lah. then we walked around Borders. * went off to meet Anna at 10, and saw Alfrey and this girl (forgot her name..she knows Ahmad too!) as well. waited for her and her colleagues to knock off and we all chilled together. Anna brought them pics! i was just dumbstruck. there were SO MANY. her mom, Alfrey's personal ones at his Auntie's place, the gig pics of Rancour, L2N and My Precious, etc. im still in a daze because i think there were about 100 photos...taken by both Anna and Alfrey. the whole time i was going like "which is which". Anna took some really AWESOME pics of L2N in action...2 of which i would put aside as the best ever. Alfrey took some really mean ones as well, like the one of me hovering above everyone else. KICK ASS! i cant thank u enough guys! *muack* * i took some pics home (they were taken by Alfrey). i havent sorted out the ones taken by Anna yet. they cost a bomb to develop so i'll pay my share when the payroll clocks in on the 12th. * Mas, Vel and the eastside grrrls went off early. bah. but nevermind, cos i anna alfrey farah and syikin (i tink) went to BK for makan. i still had the remnants of the BK dinner with Colin and Calvin fresh in me so i didnt eat. I tried some of Anna's fave chilli melt hotdogs. seemed ok. but then, if i was really hungry, rice is a must. but diets differ so... * we seperated on the MRT. sucky because i had "no gang". i saw a mudjit lookalike on the MRT too. only thing he was a matbeng potential abang lobang type. yes, with the piercings, "badan kong" and hot chick minah girlfriend. it wasnt easy NOT to stare at him. uncanny resemblance. * Anna might be changing her line. i fucking hope so. she needs to get starhub, before her bills become the death of her. my hi-card shit is driving me nuts as well, talking to Brother Wong now about starhub. he's a handphone beng type dude, so he knows the shit. * said it before, and will say it again. KILNEMIA FUCKING ROCKS.

if i fall...
another "best day of my life". Saturday -- the gig. fuck. probably one of the best shows i've ever been part of. was sleeping (prev nite was on duty) when there were like a billion calls and SMSes on my handphone. all salah timing. but then if anyone calls u, especially to talk cock, it means they give a fuck about you so i didnt have the heart to tell them "WHAT YOU WANT?!". * went to the gig at about 3 +. mingled with the peeps and then Nizam Jahilia helped me buy my lunch of chicken rice and coffee. i had to circulate heat around my body in order for me to get those vocals going. * the gig was delayed by 45 mins. i was supposed to emcee about half of it but i tink i only emceeed the first hour. Jahilia were up first and boy. FUCK! Rahmat especially dressed like a gaycore kid with FUCKING ACE AIRWALK SHOES!!!!!! fucking crazed set...pure Jahilia style. only thing is that there were only about 10 people standing up and dancing, but thats what u call 1st band stigma. touching part...THEY COVERED IF I FALL! and they fucking played it so much better than us...with screamo breakdowns. i wanted to cry because it was so fucking touching that one of my fave bands ever actually covered my band's song! thanks a fucking lot Jahilians! * met up with those 4 clowns after that at the nearby coffeeshop...Brian and Terence bitched and had 2 bottles of Baron and eventually Samdin and Bob joined. we then headed to IJ for the last minute jam session. this "jam on the day of the show" thing has to stop because it drives me nuts and makes me miss good bands on the gig. (like i missed My Precious...argh!) the jam was great we managed to absorb our new songs, with Bob and Samdin playing it for the first time. * rushed back to catch Norphrunt's set. i promised Izhar i would do screamo vocals on "Juna" which i did. suddenly the place was packed. loved it. thanks Norphuntos! * the rest of the time was spent saying hi to my friends from the Tamileh Thrashers to the hc666 fucks to the VV/Harakirians to some of the RSC peeps, and a whole lot of others. people say im a star. fuck that. everyone is a friend (or at least an acquaintance) until proven enemy. Rancour played...they all look really old now, and the singer just looks too fucking familiar. they were really tight, and worth some credit although their genre isnt exactly my can of lemon fizz. * L2N were up next, and fuck. it really touched me that everyone cheered when Shafiq announced us, and that practically 75% of the crowd stood up. that just made me inspired and the empty stomach didnt seem to bother me anymore. everyone moshed and screamed along. Anna was taking pics, even once motioning me to "eh face this side" in order to take the pic of me and Brian. crazed. i cannot thank anyone enough for being there. if i thank everyone i think it would take 24 KB, so i think i'll just thank those who read this blog...zal aish jess anna berd red dyn dinslife kyn ray rahmat....THANKS A FUCKING LOT. * after the show i walked with anna jess zal and aish to their respective bustops before rejoining the L2N blood-ers and the Norphrunt peeps and friends. we chilled, ate, scolded each other and cracked jokes. * Anna's bills were insane. i dont think i should mention how much they were to prevent heartattacks but...fuck. i think i'll do her a favour by cutting down on the calls. maybe call her shop. but i dont like calling her shop, its perpetually busy. whatever. i wish i could help pay but my NS allowance is shit, i cant even last 3 weeks on a waist-tight budget. might meet her tomorrow cos she might be developing the pics later today. but what the hell i tink i wanna meet her tomorrow anyway. im off. :). * jane split up with him. i think this time its official. with a third party involved. it really sucks that it has to be this way. be strong sis. meet u monday lunch time ok? * hope to be going to Mamat's sister's wedding today. i think im late. Ayam didnt call. fucker.

"she conquers grief like love on oath..."
i was so inspired that i came up with that line last night, on the bus. * had my refresher training yesterday morning. i came late and had to drop 20. i cheated and did about 14 pushups only. we all then ran and ran and sprinted with our medicine-ball haversacks. did some power lifting with them as well...in the middle of the field. then we had that arm lock shit going on which i screwed up horribly. * after training i joined the PERS guys in a short kick about at noon (of all times). fun to play soccer again. the PERS dudes really must have been training well cos there was quite a bit of skill exhibited there! * left at about 145pm to go to stacy's place. she's leaving for England tonite and wont be back till June. fuck. i would miss her. nenek cooked her curry chicken yesterday and it ROCKED. then nadia came back and the 3 of us went to Heartland Mall to do some grocery shopping. i think it was the first time we 3 cousins went out together, as in alone. cool. too bad Imran Khalid is just 6. otherwise he could have joined us. or better...if only we were all the same age. we could even have formed a band! hahaha! * met Jane after that at Paya Lebar. she split up with him again. for the upteenth time. he makes me a little sick sometimes. i dont know what the fuck he wants. it sickens me a bit more because he knew her through me. anyway we just chatted and talked about what was bothering us. would be safe to say she is one of my best friends now. bumped into mini-Din and Umi at Long Johns. i and jane had dinner there. i treated her lah, since she was in that state. she brought out her guinea pig too. which was shitting and peeing all over the paper bag. gross. i bought myself the Dark Waters VCD for $6. i'm cool. * reached home close to midnight. indeed "she" conquers grief like love on oath...

nanana
woke up at 10, then it rained cats and dogs. i went back to sleep. heaven. woke up again at 1pm, sent SMSes then dropped back to sleep. woke up at 3pm and decided i had to fucking wake up. arranged to meet apis at simei for breakfast-lunch. albeit at 430. had chicken rice with bagedil and teh O! hung for a while before seperating at 530. * met up with zal and shafa at lavender. we had drinks and food (not me tho) at Beach Rd, and browsed at the newly renovated place. bla bla bla we walked down to city hall and chilled at Memo...singing acapella hits along the way. fun! all-4-one, boyz II men, 4pm...everything! then bumped into suhaimi kecik there...and i and shafa teased with the "govt dog" song. hahaha! * met shafiq for a while at the cybercafe and then rejoined those 2. by the time i reached they were calling peeps on zal's hp, including anna. anna took off today cos she was sick. sucky. hope she gets well soon. * zal left early to meet aish while i stuck with shafa. we talked and joked and laughed as usual. had the walkdown to orchard rd, where we chilled again for a while before taking the bus home. * now i know Shafa's influences in Harakiri. hehehe

jeng jeng jeng
late again for duty today. thought i saw an old schoolmate, Pinky (yes thats her real name), boaring the bus with me from Boon Lay Interchange. she still has those stoned eyes, but with a really rock-chick inspired overall look. cool. of course i didnt bother to ask if she was Pinky because i would bet my lunch that she would have forgotten me. * Curren John wasnt in camp today. power. after sentry i slept soundly for 2 hrs. weeeeee! * after duty i rushed to Jammerz Pit for REMEMORIES jamming. Sha'akh ti was jamming 6-8, and we continued at 8-9. i was late (hehe) but it was fun. too bad acak wasnt there. but it was fantastic, we basically solidified the first 2 songs, polished the 3rd and Berd came up with a new one. fantastic. everyone really got into it. Niza and Apis were there too... * after that we had supper at the nearby coffeeshop, minus Berd who had to rush off. fucker. but anyway...FUCK YEAH!

the trials and tribulations
sukiman is back in camp today! finally served his time (4 months?) in prison...looked as fit as he was in recruit life. things were ok in camp, even Curren John doesnt mark me anymore. thing was the Commissioner was in camp today and we had to be on alert. i was stationed at the canteen of all places to make sure no clowns were eating there during the duration of the Commissioner's visit. * anna mich berd all werent free just now. bah. nevermind. called jane and she didnt pick up. rach was home playing PS with her bro, so i didnt bank on her meeting up for dinner. then i realized i had to collect something from colin so i met him instead. reached Tanah Merah MRT at approx 820pm. colin was with cheryl, and he gave me a lift to bedok in his car. collected whatever i had to collect but fuck...it was ska punk on the car stereo. eeeyer. then he played a recent KOK recording...fucking KICK ASS! i dont know the song name but i do recall digging it whenever KOK jammed the song. awesome! i wanna lay my hands on it soon!

!?

My insulting name is Slapfuck Brachiosaur!
What's yours?

yesterday and today
went to catch Nazark, Tears Of Despair and Custom Daisy at Jammerz on sat. the atmosphere sucked...i dunno why but lucky these 3 bands whom i were there for put up a great set each. was slamming and screaming and doing other stupid stuff. i so wanted to catch Unvisual as well but i had to rush off to meet Jane and Jiamin. * met them at Bugis at about 10 before heading towards Union Sq for the drum n bass event. we got in, got the hands stamped and got out again. chilled at the area nearby over instant "chicken briyani" (more like curry, briyani my ass). jane keeps having problems with him again. * went back up at about 1130 and ashidiq was spinning. reiki came, alone, about midnite. i got in the fray and was grooving to ashidiq's set (in a fucking AUS ROTTEN shirt!) when jane came to me and said that they were going off. ok then. grooved some more and chilled with reiki. i was distracted by the EPL shit going on the giant screen. arsenal drew. argh. * just before reiki's set we chatted outside about the current social situation, DIY lifestyles and ethnic cultures. kyo came soon after. he wore crazy pants, and his bengdom just makes me laugh. i chilled and grooved, until closing time. we all had drinks after that and i went home on service 16M. reached home at 5 fucking am. SUNDAY -- rose at 7am, late for duty but wasnt caught. i hope. why the fuck must 4th div have that function shit going on today when im dead sleepy. mamat kaysiao and reached at 1pm. whatever. slept from 2 to 6pm. fuck...too tired to care about consequences. left at 7 to meet munir, and join the gig meeting. so L2N plays 2nd last at 930 pm. awesome to chill with norphrunt again. anyway headache 1 settled. now headache 2; getting the band together. met up with anna vel rishi and this girl whom i dont think i got her name right... chilled at BK over hotdogs, drinks (sorry Vel i spilled water on u!!!!), The Unfaithful (the movie) and other topics i simply refuse to mention (no im not conservative...thats impossible. this is just to keep u guessing). anna's going this sat...rad. with her cam too! she will be working on wednesday though. bah. so i dont think there's a chance of seeing Harakiri or VV jamming. * i shld be going to the drum n bass thing after tt as well. im super psyched. went home and read really really sweet things by rach. awwww *hugs*. thanks rachie...all those words really made my day. serious. swear. erm...ya la u get the idea. =D * rememories jamming on tuesday! maybe guest jamming with Norphrunt on monday! PACKED SCHEDULE TILL GIG DAY. WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA * got a secret 7 shirt, opstand, monster x and secret 7 patches, and the holy STAMPEDE Bystanders No More demo (my one warped) from RAHMAT. THANKS BLOOD!

girl of the month link updated. no porn, so don't freak out. :-)

run away
i never seem to get praise from Curren John. whenever he's around, for some fucking reason, there is always shit awaiting to happen, if it hasnt happened already. today it was Ayam's laziness that got me, him and Goh into deep trash. literally. he didnt guard the Bin Centre (yes now at least one of us has to observe the Bin Centre between 0730 to 0800...to lookout for idiots who throw rubbish everywhere except into the chute. imagine that) as supposed to. Curren John found out and the 3 of us, being in the same rota, had to stay behind, put on the vest-and-slack and clear the fucking place up. i gave Ayam a thorough fuck-you, because i was so pissed by his incessant irresponsibility. it was fun though...i didnt mind the stench. in fact, brought back memories of me being a cleaner with the rest of L2N! (thats how we first got together as a whole, if you're wondering). * Rino's wife ran away from home. fuck. now thats crazed. he sorta asked me for help...that if i saw her, try to "make friends" with her, in order to get her to come home. feels weird. but i'll help, now that im close to him. (besides being in the same camp, we live in the same block, and we survived that fucking motor accident that we were both involved in) -sigh-. poor dude. * i tot i saw Rach on the MRT on the way home just now...but turned out to be someone else. * my most-read blogs (no order); aish, zal, ray, liz, dewi, mich. * people whom i wished had blogs; anna, jane, rach, nid, stacy, berd, my ex-girlfriends. * people i would bet a hundred bucks that they will never have a blog; singakutty (he'll leave me in stitches), idi asmari (he'll do the same), curren john (so i REALLY know how he feels about me hahaha!), the other fuckers in L2N (samdin will never make sense, bob would just go on and on, terence's should be full of fuck-yous and brian would be drunk) and all those people whom i've never met again since primary/secondary school (so i know what's up). life is beautiful, as they say.

in words
terence called the handphone twice today...both with shaky news. well shaky to me at least. he might not make the 31st August date due to duty, then in the 2nd call he asked me to ask Izhar as to what time is the L2N set. he's trying his best to exchange duty...hope all works out fine. so what im trying to say is...fuck the army.

and so i was..
so it was like 1019 am on the MRT when Kyo messaged, asking me if i was going to Reiki's show on Saturday. seems that i have to be there before 11 if i want to get in free. that means i have to leave by 9+ at the TOD/Nazark gig. should be can ah. but if i remember correctly, Reiki's set is at 2 fucking am... * WO Curren John made me drop 20 today because of the RSM room not locked. he makes me pissed sometimes with his righteous "preassumptions" of characters. though his lectures about life could be interesting. whatever. * Han Yew Kwang will be enlisting in a matter of hours! hahahah! fucking froggy boy whom i named a noise project after...is going to "be a MAN"! hahahahhahah!!!! back to camp tonite. bah.

FIREFACE R(A)
I WANT TO CATCH FIREFACE! that play by Beatrice Chia...shocked to find that this dude i used to work with, Christian Huber was in the play. he didnt look it in the promo pics! any play by Beatrice Chia or Elangovan is something we all should check out. like i missed the famed Shopping and F**king. its been a long time since i last watched a play. i remember the best ever was Elangovan's OXYGEN. * Jane just asked me to follow her to take her English Oral paper at 2.15. i called her SIAO. im booking in tonite lah! wabbits are always dumb.

dreams again?
so aishmei just signed my guestbook saying that i should start the archiving again. and the funny thing is this morning i dreamt i was doing just that. hmm.

::if punk ever mattered to you::
::Guessbuuk, Guestbook, Gasbook::
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