trashkore@yahoo.com

SFOGS.com?
lala
girl of the month!!!
bleaurgh!
casual banter :-)

FIREFACE R(A)
I WANT TO CATCH FIREFACE! that play by Beatrice Chia...shocked to find that this dude i used to work with, Christian Huber was in the play. he didnt look it in the promo pics! any play by Beatrice Chia or Elangovan is something we all should check out. like i missed the famed Shopping and F**king. its been a long time since i last watched a play. i remember the best ever was Elangovan's OXYGEN. * Jane just asked me to follow her to take her English Oral paper at 2.15. i called her SIAO. im booking in tonite lah! wabbits are always dumb.

yesterday and today
so another YAT entry....yesterday -- was sooooo tired due to the 3/4 hr a day sleep routine i had for the past week. chilled with apis at tampines over rice and tandoori chicken and countless cups of teh and teh O. berdman joined us later...we then disturbed misha`al who worked at the nearby 7-11. fucker nak step cool aje. then we all left at about 7 30...i went to Pasir Ris to meet Yasir to pass him some stuff. home...anna called and forced me to let her listen to the VV mp3 over the phone. oh well. blah blah blah...and shit happened to the computer and i restarted it. and fell asleep. much to the irritation of Mich whom i promised to chat with. ehhehe. today -- woke up by stacy's call. FUCK. i promised to call her at noon but "overshot". met her at about 2 at orchard MRT. she wanted to go to Wisma Atria for a while, so we dropped by to say hi to Anna for a while. so it was a meeting of 2 Annastacias. whatever. then we left for lunch. stacy treated me to BK. much to my protests but with arguments like "come on lah, how often can i do this? i'll be in England!", i couldnt win. she goes back to england 30th Aug and wont be back till June 2003. (for the uninitiated, she's studying fine art there. somewhere in Birmingham i think) thanks cuzzy for the treat. too bad Nadia was in school...couldnt join us. then we left to meet Om Amjah in Tanglin. stacy had to take some stuff. then i took some I/C photos and looked like shit. hahaha. then i and stacy chilled and walked back down to town cos she had to buy stuff at the supermarket. she is a confessed supermarket addict. she treated me again (and also to my repeated protests) to this japanese soda. she used the same argument so what the fuck. she then left at about 430 to meet up with brandon, while i trotted down to Far East. browsed a bit, before going to Borders at about 530 to meet Colin. calvin and mich came about an hour later, for the meeting. some gig stuff. then we saw Anu, and made her join us. then saw aish and zal. i dunno why but i was in a very good chirpy mood today. and aish for some reason was chirpy too. that cute little aishmei. anyway we got back to the meeting, settled some shit, made some phonecalls and it was all over by 830. aish wanted to join us but couldnt becos she got some stuff on. zal went to werk. the chua brothers left for home. anu joined her friend and didnt answer my calls (AND SHE STILL SCOLDS ME FOR NOT CALLING HER ENOUGH)...kanina! so i and mich chilled around Borders for a while before going off. blah blah blah mich left for home, i went back to Borders to read comics at my usual spot. bumped into acit djo and ah hood. then blah blah blah again, and went home at about 10 with anna, val, mas and these 2 girls cheryl and Ines (how to spell ah?) who all knocked off work at about the same time. it was weird because i was with 4 babes on the train (cos anna took the Jurong bound line) and drew weird stares from (presumably) jealous guys. nabeh. oh, i bumped into Izuan "Carebear" on the train too! * walking home when out of nowhere Khairil appeared. he was chilling with his cousin from New Zealand. we sat and talked. bumped into suhaimie SKP too. left at about midnite, and now im home.

now that im home..
saturday - long day. fucking long day. after camp, joined the grindcore gang at S-11. chatted and hang out and talked about stuff...ronny was there too! then we split at about 9+ to walkdown to town. bumped into like 1000 people there. Iskandar PU, some recruits, Isk HS, shafa, DiaBlo, etc. town was a freaking mess. chilled for a while with Shafa before rejoining the grindcore gang. we all left at about 11+, and i and atok split from the rest at the MRT station. bumped into gene too! * then joined the Guardroom Kompuak at Idi's chalet in Pasir ris. kind of slack because Idi brought his other friends...28 yr old been there done that abang lobang types...probably caused a lack of communication. but it was fun nonetheless. we had semi cooked BBQ chicken wings. left at about 530 am with Helmy. went home first to check email. the inbox has been flooded recently with spam email. left again at 715 to go back to camp for duty. *** sunday - duty was spent sleeping. L2N jammed. bob didnt turn up. bastard. samdin werking. so brian played drums. but anyway i love the band. supposed to be a fun session but we came up with 3 songs. amongst them a punkrock tamil song. my voice was fucked by all that coughing and i sounded very much like that dude from Undone. not that i meant too though. Undone is great but i dont want to be a copy of anyone. * listening to VV and BTR mp3s, sent by aish and mich respectively. i seriously think both bands should hit the studios. soon.

a day full of mix ups
ok it has been a crazed day. morning Rino gave me a lift to camp. i had a bad feeling whilst on his bike, and true enough we met with an accident later on on the PIE. i remembered looking left when suddenly Rino braked sharply and the next thing i know both of us were flung off the bike, with another bike (ridden by some Malaysian worker type ahbeng) sprawled across us. i was kind of in shock for a while (you tell me...who wont be, if you were caught in some fucking accident in the middle of the PIE at rush hour --> 730 fucking am). then realized that we were obstructing the traffic and that my left foot was caught beneath the bike. fuck! we then settled the issue at the side lane, blah blah and after 10 minutes we were on the way to camp. * upon reaching camp, naturally, word spread, and everyone knew from the Guardroom Kompuak to the storemen to the GD guys. Jamal especially was pissed off with the fact that Rino had to pay (which i think he wont because of some insurance stuff. good.). there was a lot of mix ups and kaysiaoing from that ahbeng's part so what the hell. Rino did the smart thing and made a police report, just in case. anyway...I AM OKAY. all i had was a slight knock on the left foot (protected by the now-holy LOTTO HI-CUT SHOES). though the incident kind of freaks me out still. DONT LET MY PARENTS KNOW AH!!!! * on to camp. usual duty shit. after camp supposed to meet Mich and co...and fuck. i tot they all stood me up when they werent there at Starfucks Raffles City. i went to the library and sort of bumped into Izzar Munir Hik and this girl called Nora. had some food and drinks, then we split and i hik and munir went to 7-11. then i had to go off, and met Berd + the hc666 boys at Paya Lebar. Nazark jammed earlier nearby so i guess it was a chill out session. only then when i was on the way home at 11 30 did Mich call and explain the whole thing. handphone fucked up. and that they were at Raffles PLACE instead. aiyoh. * sunday jamming. yay.

24 hours
cleared 1 of the 4 extras this morning. which means a 24 hour duty spree from 6pm yesterday to 6pm just now. tired. couldnt focus on the winning 11 game as well. * found out that Rino lives in my block! yes he moved in...with his wife. fucker got married and didnt tell me. bah. but thats good, cos i can get lifts on his TZM whenever we're both on morning duty! yay! * went to Tampines to meet Mike...after a loooooooooong time. got the longsleeve....$40 which is a fucking bargain. went home and found out good news abt WTN (i know some of u dont understand this sentence but whatever). * might wanna catch a movie or just chill out tomorrow....we'll see what happens...

grrr
FUCK. the covering RSM WO Curren John is STRICT. and it doesnt help that im probably the first person marked by him already because of my hairy chin when i conducted morning rollcall. cheebai. he is one "kaki extra/kaki charge". cheebai. with the current state the whole Guardroom is in, the entire strength has a chance of getting charged, even Helmy! i miss Encik Rafi. and ive got to watch my ass now. WO John is good at mind games too. bah. * so yes the Cranberries/No Doubt show rocked yesterday...not only was that accounted for by fucking Perfect 10 98.7fm, but also Anna and Rach who SMSed me at 0247am. and i was in CAMP. sucks. * might meet Mike again after so long on Thursday, and MAYBE might have Rememories jamming again on that night too. * oh wow. OH WOW. i was just reading aish's blog and hell...Anna and Alfrey BUMPED into No Doubt while having supper at Newton. and they probably had autographs and pictures too. ok so fuck. she can boast about having meals with Gwen Stefani a sniff away, while i had to make do facing ^%$@#%^(_)* in camp. yes im jealous. and toolan. i mean, ok. No Doubt...big deal. but still its way better than being in that FUCKING CAMP and only hearing about how good the whole thing was. nabei. i need sleep.

phlegm. is. irritating.
phelgm phlegm phlegm. fuck. kept spitting on the way home from camp just now. fucking phlegm. * Encik will leave soon for this 1-month RSM course. hmmm...Encik Curren John will take over. i wonder how he is. * No Doubt / Cranberries on tonite. and im not going. duty and broke. well not broke but im saving up for projects september onwards. i remember planning to go 'together-gether' with aish zal berd mich jess anna they all...in the end none of us would be going except for anna, alfrey and their colleagues and other peeps. lucky them. argh. i just have NO fucking mood to go back to camp tonite. if it wasnt for the 4 extras and if i had like a barrowload of outstanding off days, i would have taken off tonite. ayam is on leave tonite, leaving myself with Goh and Mamat. its going to be wild.

yada yada
back to camp soon. sucks. had lunch with Jane just now, and we just talked about stuff. feeling lazy, dont feel like going back to camp. so what if theres food and winning 11. i just want some sleep, having recovered from that fucking flu. yawn

got 4 new cds to listen to and...
woke up at noon today. got a fucking haircut. the usual "tepi blade 1, atas sikit lebih kurang eh". went online and to bed for a nap, before waking up again. msged some of my frenz via SMS....bored lah! * munir called, and we arranged to meet. met him and belo at S-11. bumped into eric and "max" on the MRT. (didnt know it was her until much later) had rojak and drinks...my treat. hehee. once a while mah! then went to funan for a walk around before going back to S-11. boliao eh. then walked down to town. called anna around the time she was abt to knock off. then split from munir and belo and joined her and mas. anna's mom popped by somehow, with a friend of hers. blah blah blah and we went to BK for dinner. anna's mom came by later. frankly i felt a bit weird amongst 3 females. been since forever being the only guy in a group of more than 2 females. and with handphones being the main topic. i dont fucking understand handphone services i guess. her mom's cool, and mas cracked me up repeatedly with her antics. she's just got that little cute girl thing all over her face and makes me laugh and laugh. after dinner we left, when anna and her mom went to check email and mas went home. i rejoined belo and munir...with eric too! sat down talked cock. bumped into camp dudes like ashizam, simon, asrullah and some dude. ashizam i think has a new gf. quite a chick. then again, ashizam is a cute berg. hahaha! blah blah blah...alfrey walked past us later. on his way to BK to meet some frenz. blah blah blah and max rejoined us. blah blah blah again and i munir belo walked down to somerset MRT and now here i am. home.

a hot hot saturday just passed me by...
fucking cold went away this morning, but the fever stayed. fuck. my body was like iron-hot but i still had to be out, for a couple of reasons. didnt help that it was scorching everywhere too. * left the house at 1pm with Ma going "asik lawan sakit ajer...". i had to attend the meeting at NYC (National Youth Council not New York City u dumb dumb). very important and significant points addressed. my eyes were closed for half of the meeting. post-medication. * after tt the SFOGSters split up and my batch went to BK for lunch, before sleeping again after my meal. daniel radin reza and malique was there. bumped into the guys from Fallen World who were promoting their demo cdr. i had the L II N tape with me, and i offered to trade. we did. Fallen World are fantastic. brutal old school grind! * i left at about 4 to meet munir and hikmah at kedai kopi. by then my body was going nuts. had syrup and ice water to cool the body down. was drinking fluids like as if i was built like a tank. el called up and asked if i was joining Norphrunt for the sessionist thing but i couldnt. the throat just didnt permit. met up with matno and smot at peninsular, before heading to "foodcourt budget" for more food. belo and irfaan joined us soon after. hikmah left shortly before. * we then had the usual walkdown to forum, met and bumped into some people i knew along the way. muhd lah, bren lah, some CD guys lah... talked and talked and talked...too bad people like gayung and ayamgrinder didnt turn up. the rest of L2N werent there too. i fucking miss those bastards. we need to jam and record soon. * orchard rd was fucking packed today. it was fucking crazy. i sent a short SMS to anna, and she called back. coincidentally she was nearby with suhaila and 2 friends. so we met up. saw el and the rest of Norphrunt at BK. the gig pictures are DEVELOPED. phew. i was fucking anxious and scared that i fucked things up. the pics all turned out fine....VV, Kildonan and Disco Biscuits. arnd that time spotted djohan, ah hood, khalid, dinslife and this dude whose name i forgot (so whats new). so went in to say hi. went to the loo soonafter and saw Cpl Raden. fuck...there was so many people i bumped into in BK alone. blah blah blah i then left at 1045 to join the grindcore gang at forum. we had the usual talk cock shit going on and went home by last train. * i really hope the complications that were mentioned just now could be rectified.

i think im catching a cold but..
...today has been awesome. in the earlier entry i forgot to mention that i bumped into "Aloy" on the MRT. bunk mate in recruit life, my nemesis turned friend. AWOLee turned Deserter. that dude is married now, with a kid + another adopted. NS pay is shit, so i understand. * met up with the VVs before the gig...blahblahblah. first band up was Marilyns...shoegazer rock stuff with some covers of Malay songs. 2nd band was The Jermz...brilliant alt rock with a really great grrl singer! then Virgin Violet! i think they have stamped themselves into the local indierock scene with a splendid performance. the crowd loved them. i told you their new sound rocks. tighter, more harmonic. i even had the disctinction of taking their photos. liyana's drumming has always impressed me since that grrl fest thing at Youthpark in 2000. this time she's much better. and anna is officially my favourite bassist now. i wished they jumped when they played...imagine how cool it is to see jess or aish in mid-air pics. despite the overwhelming response,those girls were so modest. kaoz! * after the VV set was Her Birthday Suit. fuck. laojiao shoegazer rockers! they played a cool set too but i was too distracted at that time. Jane doesnt seem too well in her SMSes. took a breather for a while, talked to those i knew who were hanging outside. Alfrey left to send his mom to Taman Negara (what?!) i went back in to catch Kildonan. nabeh. good set. took some pics and sat down. (I FUCKING HOPE THEY TURN OUT FINE BECAUSE IF NOT THEN I THINK THE WHOLE VV WILL KILL ME) pissed because Dyn jumped once and i didnt catch in on camera. Disco Biscuits were up next, and i could see why Yahoo-d once mentioned that they were amazing. fucking killer fucking tight. too bad i only caught the first 2 songs. went to Plaza Singapura for dinner-supper at Long John Silvers. we also met up with Suhaila and this grrl (forgot the name) and soon Alfrey. the usual talk cock after dinner and we all went home. i think im catching a flu.

!
was reading dewi's blog, and saw this quiz. and i just had to fucking take it!

Take the new and improved Dashboard quiz!
By Tiffany

lalas.
tuesday : off duty. previous nite "Pak Usop" was on duty. fucking asshole. he clashed with Boy Hermantino too. butoh. i slept the whole day (woke up in between by phone calls) and couldnt sleep anymore at 6pm. mich who was supposed to meet me didnt eventually. good lah. more sleep. hehehe then i realized there was some stuff i had to do...and made my way to book the sound system for DE-GEN 2. jalan-jalan at town for a while, said hi to anna and then went off to meet jane. who's having probs with troy. sigh. those 2 ah...argh. nevermind. wont be nice to highlight their situation on my WIDELY READ (as if) blog. went home on the 197 bus. i think it was the last bus. *** wednesday - day duty. winning 11. sleepy. but won the important matches against those fuckers in rota 3. wanted to join VV for dinner after their jam (cos thats what they sometimes do), becos i was at city hall looking for something...so i tot might as well. then oh good...i came too late. the shop was closed. didnt feel like meeting anyone after that so i left for home. bumped into Shawal GD, his bro and some AWOLee friend on the train. fucking mats and their fucking antics. but hey at least i kept myself awake talking to them. *** thursday : half day today. online with Janet now who's deciding whether to go for the gig later. so is gene. wld meet the VV peeps at 5. more about the gig; noriyah supposedly will be there. been like...4-5 years since i last saw her. used to hate her in kindergarten and primary school. cousins stacy and nadia...will you be coming? stefee? jane? berd? would i be meeting Yassin before the gig to pass him the tapes? in order for me not to confuse myself, i have decided to just wait for anyone's call. * btw mike called when i was on the train just now. asking abt the shirt. cool. been fucking long time since i last heard from him too. online doesnt count.

so basically its the same old shit. night duty, winning 11, feeling sleepy. sometimes i wonder why i blog. actually some people use blogs to whine about their lives. hmm. i dont really think my life is pathetic. in fact its far from bad. even in my most tumultuous phases, and in my worst emotional breakdowns, i dont think my life is pathetic. i live in a home not in a slum. i HAVE a computer, and dont dream of having one. i know i'll have a next meal, instead of guessing. you know the drill. i have stuff to do, stuff to look forward to. people to meet, events to attend. even people to hate and people to fall in love with. i have 2 arms 2 legs, and a bonus FOUR EYES. ahahaha! i complain, true. but for the fun and the hell of it. yes i whine. dont we all? but at least i dont see it as the most important issue of all. i mean, maybe for a few minutes, i could care about nothing else except whatever that's bothering me. but i dont elevate myself to a godly status. so what i'm trying to say is...whatever you do, get a life.

4 fucking extras?!
when i reported to camp last night i was slapped with bad news by Nizam. he said i would be given 4 extras by Encik. i thought he was kidding but upon checking, FUCK. it was true. its the incident last weekend. when Encik talks to me tomorrow about this it seems i will let the truth out. of course it sucks that i will have to do the 4 extras, and accept that punishment (Guard Comdr what..) but i regret covering Ayam and Sani for nothing. at least Khairul who was guilty about the phone, tried to cover up for me. of course im not going to backstab anyone, in fact i told Ayam just now that he better be prepared for anything when Encik questions me tomorrow. BERANI BUAT BERANI TANGGUNG. * duty was fun, albeit being in camp, AND MISSING MARCHTWELVE at the Mtbatten CC gig. Anu was there at the gig too, long time no see her. anyway back to camp...lost to the 2 ahbeng angkong-siao Lim and Er in winning 11. fuck. they're good. but i was kind of tired and very very bothered by that 4 fucking extras, so i couldnt do anything well. the Versus show is on thursday and i really want to catch Disco Biscuit and VV live! then im scheduled for full weekend off, and no way am i going back to camp for MORE night duties! the next few saturdays would really rock, with gigs...plus Reiki wld be performing at Union Sq 23 August. Redwan on 31 August! * Bogey was on guard duty yesterday too. i was prepared for a big fight (he was the recruit who "hung" me the past intake) but for some reason we chilled and talked. i guess we got over that episode. even played Winning 11 together. * my arm hurts because Uda, Indra and that Bogey did a pile up on me between 2 beds last night. Imagine....my arm is stuck in between 2 beds barely 10 cm from each other, and one 90 kg baboon and two 70 kg pigs jump on top of me. adoi.

yawn
just got home from filming. its been fun, though my scene had to be delayed from 6pm to like 7 hours later. circumstances lah. but understood. * rose at about 12 noon just now, settled some email and all and went to the set to lias with Adeq about my outfit. blah blah blah and i was on the way home to put back the redundant outfits. went back to the set at about 6, only to go off about 8. i had to rush to the meeting at Borders. sorry Mich Shafiq Zal Colin Calvin and Berd for making you wait. no choice. props to Amran for giving me a lift there! * after the discussion Aish and Anna joined us for a while. i had to have something to eat to energize, and get all that messy DE-GENDER-ALIZE papers together. * went back to Bedok (bumped into Ayamgrinder and Hikmah eventually) via MRT to go back to the set to finish my scene. ignored a few SMSes while at it. Rach SMSed me good nite. i think somethings up. call u soon ok? i just SMSed Jane and Aish, not realizing its almost 4 fucking am. like they would be awake by now. i think i need sleep. bah.

thursdays and fridays
thursday was spent sleeping. i really needed the catch-up on sleep. was wide awake only at 6pm. stacy couldnt make it anyway because she had to accompany nadia at home. good lah. jane had some stuff to settle. better. that meant i could sleep more. hehe. fuck. woke up, then went to Bugis for a while to look for some stuff, didnt get it. called anna and aish, they were still jamming. bah. called zal, he wasnt with them. was on the way to werk. double bah. then went to the arcade for a while. been eons since i been there. and heck...bumped into Jane and Troy there too! had a few games there, then suddenly Munir called. he was with Izzar. felt that i had to be there. then arranged to meet at Somerset. before that bumped into that fucking AWOLee idiot Fadil ("buto kau storeman pun nak AWOL") and some firefighter dude from our intake. or is it 81st? whatever. then left Jane and Troy and went to Somerset...hell yeah i needed to be there and im glad i was. * blah blah blah then left at about 11.15. --- friday - i just woke up. room in a fucking mess. Yaphet Kotto spinning on. filming soon. need food now.

just got home...
...after duty on wednesday, there was the usual Guardroom Winning 11 clash between our personel. Syafiq and Zal called to ask about Friday. really touched by their enthusiasm for DE-GENDER-ALIZE 2(002). * after camp that i went to Paya Lebar to meet Jane, who's having problems at the moment. had dinner at Long John Silver's and we lepak-ed at the fountain nearby. after that we felt like having supper so we walked alllll the way down to some ulu lane in Joo Chiat for 2am tea and prata. we then walked alllll the way down to Marine Parade again where we sat at that Katong complex thing (what the fuck is the name of the building again?) until about 5am. we just talked and talked and laughed and gossiped and joked and scolded each other and talked and laughed. basically catching up on old times and finding out what we missed. been months since we last met anyway. dont worry lah wabbit...your problem all...like i said..."NOTHING ONE LAH". * i remember sleeping in between the chats when i was so tired i literally lied down on the floor. Jane said i snored. cheebai. * went home at the first bus, with Fingerprint on my walkman. now im going to sleep

i fell asleep at the fucking computer!
and hell i did. i woke up at about 5am with aish on IRC going "hello? shai? are you there? hello?". i felt so guilty i SMSed her the moment i woke up. (well not exactly). * was late again, but got away scot free. did the Oath taking stuff...i've done so Oath taking for recruit enlistment so many times, i've practically memorized every single bit in my head. this time we had a little change because the usual CSM WO Curren John was absent, and taken over by that Lim Lik Bin. nabeh. * did 2 hrs sentry, then slept until 5pm. had that Winning 11 shit going on, won game after game, and finally lost to 4th Div's Rohaizad on penalties. we then went home together...at least ive got company on MRT. then we parted at Bedok and i had chicken rice. burp. * Jane called as i walked home. i ignored the call because i was already at the lift. i returned the call when i stepped into the house. she's got some problems which i think are just blown-up thoughts. you'll be fine lah u stupid wabbit. might meet her on thursday. havent seen her since that lunch thingie in Bedok sometime in...april?

Ubble Gubble
winning 11 was fun just now. fucked up thing was that i lost to Nizam of all people, and Wan Hensem. fuck. * tomorrow is enlistment day for the fit/fat squad of the 84th intake. hope i dont wake up late tomorrow. * got through the audition, filming on Friday...would have to delay the meeting at Borders by an hour or so. #thursday orgistra peeps..take note! i'll email you/call you regardless of whether you read this or not. * shit so much will happen within the next 2 months....

rotten sunday
my mindfuckedness is showing. im getting really paranoid. i fear i might be charged tomorrow because of what happened last night in camp. Khairul, Sani and Ayam are partly responsible, and i just hope they wont flake out. "Berani buat berani tanggung." lets just see how much they meant that. * Nina called at about 12, and told me i got through the audition! filming on 1 Aug. im really looking forward to this... * Rememories jammed just now. fucking relief for me. and i could see that everyone enjoyed themselves. but hey guess who did i bump into. Noraihanah. my ex gf. probably the only ex gf that i truly had feelings for. and the only one who i abused. maybe its my retribution now. she couldnt recognize me at first, but she remembered me eventually. when i came up to her and went "Nor...ingat aku tak?". when i finally mentioned my name, she smiled. shit. that smile. that smile which i remember so fucking clearly. she even had the cheek to point out her boyfriend to me. ironic that we took 6 years to speak to each other again. whatever. * rememories wasnt even done yet, so i just let out whatever i had for the rest of the session. the rest somehow somewhere got into mood as well. i didnt ask why, but they did. and i think this is our best session so far, because it isnt just jamming and putting our sounds together. i could see it in Acak's face, Isyraff's face, Bernard's face and Micha'al's face. it just showed something. i cant explain what, but its a great feeling. * after that we went to Haig road to eat. then after that we all went to Paya Lebar MRT. on the train i bumped into An'nur, who is now officially a Deserter. he told me himself. Pending Court Case soon. headed to Borders to check out the new MRR, went to say hi to Anna and Alfrey. after that we all chilled out at BK for a while with their friends. and Anna's mom! her mom rocks! i dont think i can name any other mom with a RATM patch on her bag. bumped into Joshua and some dudes too...and also Acit Djo and Khalid over there. * i've got some issues to settle, and they better be settled fast. because im going crazy. i need a fucking break. maybe go to Ubin or something. and if YOU are game, hell come on. join me. * "i wish you talked to me. i wish you loved me. i wish you touched me. i wish. i wish..." - CONVINCED

fuck shit fuck
fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck you. fuck me. fuck us. fuck everything. but fuck you most.

jeng jeng jeng
Saturday -- on the way home from camp in the morning, i bumped into Izah. AGAIN. for like the 5th time in a month. she was on her way to work. we chatted blah blah. went home, and read some stuff which both bothered and encouraged me. then went to sleep. woke up at 4 with practically no mood to go back to camp. but i went anyway. the degil gang was there...should be fun. Rahmat SMSed...but i couldnt meet him in town due to duty. Anu called to ask about the gig...weird. she NEVER calls. * fun? indeed it was. besides the CITI guys, Indra, Uda, Sani, Khairul and Junaidi hung around too. as usual we had Winning 11, food and talk cock sing song. the CITI dudes had that call-a-girl chatline shit going on which was hilarious. Mats. * suddenly Khairul became horny after talking to his ex on the phone, started going a bit nuts. singing some "aku sakit" song to the tune of some National song. there was even one part where he...ok nevermind. then he went out for a while to fuck his ex gf. i dont know. dont care. was too sleepy by then. Rach msged me good nite. so sweet. * shocker in the morning : ENCIK CAME BACK! and when he stepped into his office, the PHONE was on the table, and that fucking Sani was still asleep inside. shit. im probably going to get 2 or 4 extras tomorrow. argh. why now. ive got so much to catch...the VV show on the 8th, possible the No Doubt/Cranberries show on the 13th and the Alleyway Revolution gig on the 31st...and some of Ellyn's gigs too! and i havent hung out with stacy again! im not going to come back on my off days...maybe i'll just ask Encik if i can do all that Enlistment/ CO Parade stuff and not claim off from there. jialat liao.

"shioo-toh!"
just got back from camp. tired. seems the new regimentation of provosts doing sentry at night will not change. apparently we dont have enough strong points to convince Encik. * yesterday was fun, and Rino is officially part of the Guardroom Kompuak. wish he could stay in more often. * played Winning Eleven last night...fucking fun. i think what makes the Guardroom guys so together (despite endless fighting and bickering) is that being with each other puts our minds away from external problems and distractions. yeah...i really think so. * ok so now im off to nap. bye

bored. as. fuck.
just got home from Dol's place just now. i think his family has gotten over the recent death of their father. Dol is his usual gila gila self, which is cool. then he Matno and me got Dol's laptop going, watching videos of....ooh...sexy...oooh...enchanting...remote control MONSTER TRUCKS AND RACE CARS (i bet u thought we were watching porn. u bastard!). then this dude Yusof joined. i have no idea who he is to Dol but he seems like a salesman type dude. whatever. * night shift today to saturday. looks like Rememories jam would be cancelled on Sunday. now that sucks because that leaves me nothing to do. * my mind is starting to go haywire again. being one who supposedly "thinks out of the box" isnt easy, because you think too much anytime anywhere. it drives you nuts as much as it prepares you well for anything. whatever.

harakiri rocks! seriously!
caught Harakiri jam today, and seriously speaking, their session was good. they were tighter than before, louder and more enthusiastic. there was a feel to their songs and yes, im very impressed. i hope they keep it up, because this is the stuff that can get people moving. oh yes they play grunge. no one does that now. keeping it real, yo. * zal left for work after that, while Anna left to fetch her little bro. i and Shafa then headed to town for food. we're 2 hungry bastards. * after food i and Shafa lepaked at Gallery, and soon Belo and Matno bumped into us. they chilled with us for a while blah blah blah. seems that i will meet Matno at Khatib instead of Yishun tomorrow morning. * Anna and her kid bro Mario joined us soon after. Mario's kind of cute, reminds me of Rozaini my cousin. and a bit of myself when i was his age. Shafa and Anna was talking endlessly about band stuff, and that Mario dude was busy drawing some comic stuff. cool. hope he makes use of his talent someday. i was...bothered. i think. sometimes im like this. its all seasonal. and i fucking hate it. * we split again when Anna went to her shop to meet her colleagues and eventually her Mom (who picked up Mario). * then met up again and chilled at Starfucks, with ALfrey joining us eventually. and we all left about 11.10 pm. * on the way home on the MRT, i and shafa bumped into Fairul and some skater friend. cool. been ages since i saw Fairul. and on the walk home bumped into some crazy chinese dude asking what bus went to AMK, and whether the word "stir" had some similar meaning to the malay term "Satu Lagi". some stranger told me to leave him alone because he was nuts. i found the whole situation funny. * i was bothered with "circumstances" for most of the day, and Shafa was there to listen and keep me sane. we talked about stuff we never did before (because we always just clowned around and made fun of everyone, we never had any serious talk). he was there to console me and stuff. way cool. a new bro now. thanks man. i can't be like this 24/7. i'd go nuts...as if i wasnt nuts already.

its a small world after all.
met up with Belo and Matno (fucking pundeks were late) at abt 5 at kedai kopi, and were soon joined by Stevo and Marc. had a short chat bla bla bla and i went to the audition at Serangoon at about 7.30. * YES the Nina i spoke to is the Nina i know! and there was also Zizi and Edryan there at the place...and Adeq and Amran are involved in this production too. my place in the production is pending, but whatever. hopefully Nina calls tomorrow. * by coincidence, VV and Shafa's new band was jamming at Bob's at around the time i auditioned. they finished at about the same time too. so we met up. and i realized i lost my farecard. with about $11++ in value. then went to S-11 for dinner and talkcock. saw some of the RSC peeps there too. * after that i and Anna left for town, hung out with her friends and blah blah blah. Alfrey's friend works at Starbucks. cheebai. we got a kick ass Frapucino, and 2 cheesecakes. free. saw HC Adam and Iza too. both are STILL gila as usual. * moral of the day : coincidence many many. * on a less happier note... Dol's dad passed away this morning. sickness. fortunately Dol was prepared for it. i feel sorry for Dol and his family. unfortunately death is a sooner or later thing. i dunno when i will go to his place for that "melawat" thing. hopefully tomorrow, if anyone can go with me. im on nite duty thurs to sat...and that leaves Sunday. but it might be a bit too late. * i also learnt of Ewan's plight today. he's in a lot of hardship now with family problems and stuff. hang in there bro. call me if you need anything.

lalala....growl...lalala...growl!
be meeting Matno and Belo at kedai kopi at 4, and soon the rest would join us. cool. * ninaudition called and seems that the audition would be somewhere in serangoon/bugis area at about 7+ or so. hope it would be later, i wanna hang out with the grindcore gang for as long as possible. * dunno what im going to do after that.

hallo
just woke up. put on some CDs i bought within the past 2 months. the NC/CN split RIPS! KILLER! then listened to other stuff, like Nid's Resources / Pressing split cd (old sch hc), then the CG/Demisor split, and now that breakcore/gabber/digicore sampler Eric gave me last year. maybe would listen to some mellow stuff afterwards...or trance. * gonna rain. cheebai. need to get my break-lunch before i get wet. expecting a call soon. hope i dont waste this off day because my next 2 sat nights will be in camp due to duty. hopefully Nizam, with 3 more extras, can cover me on the 3rd Aug :). looks like im going to miss that hip hop show on 27th july too. knn.

dei tevdia!
finally all is well between me and Rayelias. we talked and joked as usual, and it helped that "Ric Flair" WO Ibrahim was the DO tonight. he and some other DOs always made us laugh. and i and Hadi are talking again. he probably still hates me but i dont care, whats important is that we arent the thorn in each other's ass anymore. Ayam and Mamat are bickering endlessly again. it never fails to amaze me how childish the Guardroom Kompuak can get. fighting over PR sets, Playstation games, food and bad jokes. and for those 2, its about misplaced shampoo. what the fuck! to think that they also share a locker together. * i never thought i would connect so well with Mats of mostly "black and white 2 dimensional mentality" but i am. im loving all the sick jokes, the hyena mentality, the improvised sing a longs, wrestling matches, Winning 11 feuds and all that other Mat shit. im talking "degenerate" Matdom, but i dont care. i love the honest, confrontational nature of the Guardroom Kompuak. sure misunderstandings occur, sure we fight, sure we hate each other sometimes, but we get along. whether if its just till ORD or till our own respective deaths is another issue, but the important is the present. * after duty i, khairul, idi, ayam and mamat hung around Jurong Point before seperating. 2.5 days off. SHIOK. i need sleep, and i would have an audition tomorrow i think. now when am i going to meet Belo, Marc and Stevo...

weekend bloody weekend
Saturday - had a bad misunderstanding with Rayelias at camp. it sucks and it hurts to fight and be screaming at my best bud in camp. somethings wrong. everyone in the Guardroom clique is fighting with each other these days. Last week it was me and Ayam. then Goh and Ayam. Mamat and Sani. now me and Rayelias. most of us were shocked because usually i and Rayelias are always laughing and making fun of people. and Rayelias is usually calm, collected and rational. maybe he's tired. or maybe theres some curse cast upon us. after that i rushed home first because my fucking hp was on low batt. after the recharge i met the grindcore gang at Jammerz pit for the gig. knn...i tot it was halfway thru when i arrived at about 9...but it hadnt even started. i actually FORGOT...and wasted money on cab fare. STUPID! the first band was a Metallica cover band. yawn. their sound was so loud it drove everyone nuts. then next band Chrysalids played...with Shafiq Mountbatten in there. THEY ROCK. they look like yuppie artschool kids but they play GRINDCORE (covers?). and no it isnt a fashion statement thing, just something natural. and fucking cool. next band was some hc ska thing...not bad. i was sleepy and didnt really enjoy the gig. whatever. --- Sunday - reported late for duty. hehehe. but i wasnt caught. as usual, we all "langgar" the rules, slept, played Winning 11 and did all kinds of shit stuff. after that was supposed to meet the grindcore gang at town, but with stuff unsettled. walk here walk there, eventually settled at Borders cafe to sit down and continue my little "project". there was this student bunch who were probably studying for some exam, when one of them was yakking so much about current affairs that i just had to look at him. i recall an interesting story about a 7 yr old gay kid bla bla...then he took notice of my "stares" and mumbled aloud "WHY IS THAT GUY STARING AT US?". cheebai. yah yah fucker. either he go up straight to me and tell me to fuck off, or at least whisper...if he bothered to be polite (like i am. hehehe). i had my way back and said "IM NOT STARING AT YOU!". i think he got a shock because usually guilty parties keep quiet. but anyway nothing else happened. im not a troublemaker. i went back to my project. then i got sick of the place and went into Borders and read the Non Sequitur comics. then Munir paged and bla bla bla we arranged to meet and he handed me my shirt! Red ink on yellow silkscreen of WARSORE. thanks bro. * after that we decided to walk around, bla bla bla. he left at about 945 to meet belo and all at Paya Lebar while i joined Anna and her friend Mas for some late BK dinner. talk cock sing song, then joined Alfrey (so finally i get to spell his name) and this dude Faizal and we all left. bumped into Iza and HC Adam on the MRT. lol. those 2 gila skaters...missed them man.

gila gila macam macam many many
woke up from the nap at 2pm, called Stacy immediately. would be meeting her, aunt zizah, chris and nadia at GV Plaza Singapura at 4pm to catch MIIB. on the way there bumped into Nurnizwar...Noraihana's kid bro. funny that i bump into him at least once every year, especially since its been 6 years since i split up with his sister. the nostalgia. he's in ITE Balestier now, and his sis is in the Tampines campus. he is a little shocked at my sudden weight gain. hope Nor is okay. just because the love isnt there anymore doesnt mean she deserves shit. whatever. anyway on to MIIB. kick ass show. chris and auntie zizah treated us...to the movie and to dinner at that posh restaurant/cafe afterwards. i ordered a Japanese dish. i had no clue as to what i was eating except for the rice, chicken and egg bits. * aish then invited me to catch the VV jam. yay. finally i get to see them again. they are improving with time...their newer stuff is more alt rockish, which i think suits them. hopefully they can keep this up. *after the VV jam, Liyana and her kid bro Imran left. then the rest of VV + zal and me went to S-11 for makan. had drinks and food. then zal and aish left (zal had to werk) and i anna and jess went to town. bought 3 cds for $4.95 each at HMV. then bumped into...of all people, ex CHR mates Jinlin and Mitchelle (with their friend)! both of them i think have become blood sisters since sec 1 (like me and Master Wong..where the fuck is he anyway). Mitchelle...was a good friend of Nor too, and i had a HUGE crush on Mitchelle after the break up. aiyoh. anyway both girls were really shocked at my appearance too. should have seen their faces. Jinlin has dyed her hair...CHOW AH LIAN. Mitchelle...still the same lah. the bigger coincidence is that Jinlin is also Anna's ex colleague. small world. * after that met up with Imran and his 2 friends. we all strolled to Orchard MRT and seperated. i left to look for my L2N "Blood-ers". CHEEBAI..Brian said meet at Forum, and no one was there. i called and he say "all go home oredi". cheebai. tio duah! but then, heck. im working tomorrow anyway.

kompuak
just got home from camp. yesterday was fun, with a lot of people staying in. Helmy, Idi, Rino, Shawal, Hameed, Khairul, Sani etc. we had a lot of fun, playing Winning 11 and just messing and fucking around. i remember taking a sepak takraw ball and playing soccer with Goh, while he was on duty at sentry! ahahah! i love night duty...except this new regimentation of provosts having to do night sentry as well. its stupid and impractical considering that we are already commanding guard duty personel. i wanted to bring this up to Encik but he is on leave today. cheebai. * might be catching MIIB with stacy and her parents today. wow its been about what...7? 8 years since i last hung out with her? she's here on her study break from that England art school thingie. her parents are flying back on Monday, and she within a month or so. we agreed to hang out and i think today will be the day. * Rach mentioned that the Cranberries/No Doubt show is fast selling out. if thats the case i might not get any ticks. hence i might probably hang with Mich on our "poor version"...that is hang out outside the venue during the concert and meet our friends after that. anyone else?

those who fear tomorrow
been a long time since i listened to INTEGRITY's "Those Who Fear Tomorrow". A PERFECT soundtrack for my current mood. personally i find that it was the band's best contribution to humanity. everything else was and is run of the mill. some even pathetic.

of nasi lemak and funny teh O
woken up at 11.30 by Cik Mani. looked for Ma but Ma is out. then my handphone rang, and my handphone switched off by itself because the battery power level was so low. argh. i couldnt trace the call (im using an old school Ericsson 628 remember?). argh. i hate it when i miss calls, important or not. i must know at least who called. * had nasi lemak for break-lunch. tasted good as usual. and bought teh O from the new owner of Moulana Tea Stall. his tea is funny. has a slight gingerish taste (teh halia remnants?). and a tad too sweet. * night duty later. argh. that means no hanging out on the streets and no daily late night IRC...and worse NO REST BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO SENTRY 2200-0000 and 0400-0600. CHEEBAI.

SIBEY SIEN AH!
i havent thought too much of this, but TODAY HAS JUST BEEN NUTS. * the new night shift regimentation at sentry is insane. it's physically and mentally draining. fuck. i took leave today to attend the audition, and catch VV/Harakiri jam (ok i'll be honest. i was TIRED and LAZY to be on duty hehehe). in the end, upon checks with the audition contact (I STILL THINK ITS THE NINA THAT I KNOW) it seems that it will be shifted to next week. and oh worse...in the nap i took upon reaching home...i dreamt that the VV/Harakiri jam would be cancelled. AND GUESS WHAT. when i woke up, and sat up to look at the time, my handphone went beep and there was Zal's SMS with the EXACT message. creepy. now how the fuck am i going to sleep with all these dreams which predict stuff. (maybe i'll dream that i will win $10000000 tonight) the stupid part was that at the end of the dream i was on the MRT with 2 Japanese chicks doing kinky stuff in front of me, with one lau ahpek involved too. i wonder what stuff they put in Jalan Bahar food nowadays. * was so bored i had to get out of the house. met up with Munir (who was with Hikmah) to pass him stuff for Project S. bumped into Ariff and Kismet too. we parted and then i munir and hik chilled at the library and city hall area afterthat. we seperated at about 9+ and i took a walk down to Borders (yes all the way from City Hall) to clear my mind. my mind has just been pressurized. tired and overthinking lately. i had to let of steam before i went nuts. thankfully i think the walking thing worked. bumped into Salihin at Orchard MRT. he was on the way to the BK toilet. ahh...same timing. that guy was back from the gym, with a Bolt Thrower shirt on! cool! bumped into Anna's colleague Suhaila at BK. she was with another colleague whom i dont think i saw before. then i and Salihin parted ways and i sat at the Borders back door cafe to "chill". somehow it all seemed therapheutic, because i didnt feel so stressed after that. went for a hot tea at BK, had a short chat with Anna on the phone and went off. she would be seeing the doc for that wisdom tooth thing again end of the week. * Ma has begun babysitting little Ana again. that cute little 5 yr old Indo-Dutch girl. would probably be for a week.

just one more step to the peak, and i fall. this slide down, paving the way for the avalanche. masquerading the countless pretentions that lurk inside. what does this all mean? * i had a dream again just now, and true enough, it painted fragments of the future. not an exact portrayal, but it had all the necessary ingredients. different setting, different cast, but the perfect life lessons. i am lost for words for the past is slowly creeping back to me. i so want the past to remain where it belongs - the past.

CHEYYYYYYYYYY
....Anna called. ...... shit im going to burst out laughing. coz yesterday when she didnt call i was fucking worried as to what happened to her. i called her about 100000000 times i think. sekali she left her handphone at her aunt's place. alamak. i usually dont say this but "Anna...DUH!". fuck. hahahaha! she's at work now, while i will be working tonight. argh. and tomorrow too, and thursday. %^@#%^*. whatever. * the dream? fuck the dream. i'm just glad that all is okay.

bad fucking dreams again?!
after the mini lunch just now i plonked onto bed. im just tired today. then i fell asleep. woke up when Jane called. she was about to take her driving test. i lied i was busy (sorry Jane) but i was just not in the mood to talk to anyone for the rest of the afternoon. * slept again, and the dream CONTINUED. it was like a fucking series. different concept, different characters but same setting. the exact same setting. the phone. the post. the table. this time with a visitor. and a sultry but silent host. a movie was being played showing vampyric figures, a whole lot of evil. there was a lot of lust and sin in the dream. its freaking me out. fuck. i dont care who or what is in that dream, im just wary of what the dream SYMBOLIZES. yes, i just woke up. and im going back to bed. dream or no dream.

bad fucking dreams
i just woke up about an hour ago. didnt sleep well, kept waking up after a few hours. dunno if it was because of the humidity. i know for sure that i had a bad dream just now. i'm not going to mention any details at the moment (bad karma). but fuck...the dream spooked me so much. it painted a very bleak picture of my current existence, and envisaged a worse future. very abstract, with minimal speech. it was extra painful because it brought back memories of the past. i became so restless i HAD to listen to something. ALL-4-ONE, HINT and now marchtwelve. maybe i'll be better in a while. thats the problem with being a fucking Scorpio. u think too much.

another off day wasted
so ewan calls me to cancel the meeting. anna was so tired she didnt call...but its ok she's online now at her aunt's place. i just SMSed Jane...jio her go out. stupid Marine Parade fucker...better respond. I AM SO BORED.

I AM SO FUCKING BORED
woke up at 11am today...a mighty early time when im off. went to the post office at about noon to send all those tapes and zines to friends abroad. spent about $28 and 75 fucking cents. CHEEBAI LAH. argh. after that went to Bestway to look at plain tees for silkscreen. found really good quality ones at really cheap price...$4.90 each. Zal, Ray and Munir...take note...if u havent already. got 1 yellow, 1 white, 1 dark green, 1 blueish black. bought lunch and had a haircut done by a Mat "asal boleh" barber. * called Anna and i was wondering why the line was so quiet. she was supposed to be at work. she's on MC again because of that tooth. wonder what the dentist is doing. don't think we're meeting today because...well because of the tooth, and that she's broke. she's writing a song now as im typing this, she would be calling me in another 20 mins. * will meet up with Ewan and maybe Edryan today for the project. * called up a Nina today about a film audition...she sounds exactly like the Nina i know ... wonder if its the same person....

5 years
Ma just got herself a new handphone...and oh fuck is she irritating. she is absolutely SMITTEN with her new phone, calling me at dumb times on her handphone just to test it, and is going all nuts with it. hell she even slept with the phone yesterday and threatened me not to touch the phone. mad. * cousin Imran Khalid's birthday just now. he's 5. good to see aunt zizah, auntie tina, om amjah and om din...plus stacy, nadia and uncle chris too. nenek cooked a GREAT dinner..her cooking rules man. had the usual birthday banter. the choc cake rocked as well. * found out about the cranberries/no doubt concert 13 aug and SMSed those who wld be interested immediately. seems that almost everyone who i informed will be going, or at least considering! anna, berd, zal, aish, micha'al, ray, munir, etc.... * after that at 8+ i tumpang om amjah and auntie tina and headed to city hall to meet the grindcore gang. "Guard" of CxNx was there too...coolio. as usual there was the talk cock stuff and we all headed home at 9 or so. and yes, DAFTNOIZE's LP rocksssssss!!!!!!!!!!

daftno!se
duty was spent lazing and talking cock and winning 11. lost to Lim of CITI of all people but beat everyone else. caught up with some sleep after lunch. * supposed to meet zal at Orchard MRT to pass him zerox at 7, but he changed the venue to Subway. went to say hi to anna at her werkplace but her friend said she wasnt around. so i decided to go Borders first, and that was when anna called back. blahblahblah and i was on my way to subway with the latest MRR in hand. had dinner there and passed zal Zerox. aish was there too and she got her own copy. she paid up despite my "no need lah" protests. so sweet. * after that hung around Far East then met up with anna outside her shop. then went to BK for post-dinner. anna needs surgery for her wisdom tooth thing. its worse than i thought. but she would be ok after surgery. maybe can kena 1 week mc too. best. at least it would give her a break from her punishing schedule. talking about breaks I NEED A BREAK FROM NS TOO! hehehe...how i wish i can just get a 4 month MC from camp. best! after post-dinner we had the walkdown to somerset mrt. Orchard is infested with all kinds of peeps today, saw a few friends/foes from camp too. ahhaah. * the yishunardens then went off while i went to city hall to meet the grindcore gang...cheebai...i thought all would stay late, instead all the guys took the last train home. eric passed me 6 copies of the latest Re.start Violence release, the 12" of Daftnoize! i havent listened to it yet but im certain it would rock. might meet the Grindcore gang again next sat. * sunday is cousin Imran Khalid's birthday. would be meeting nenek, aunt zizah, nadia and stacy after a fucking LOOOOOOONG time. yay.

SMS = Sexist Messenger Service
i have no idea why but i sent some SMS to some of my friends today. for some reason, all the guys replied/received my messages and all the girls didnt. i sent a msg to stefee this morning asking about her demo tape but she just mentioned she didnt receive any. i bet aish and anna didnt receive my messages too. stupid singapore.

yesterday and today
i have far too many entries called 'yesterday and today'. yesterday supposed to meet anna at Aljunied MRT to catch VV jam but there was some confusion and i ended up meeting up with mich and jess at hereen. anna joined us later...and learnt that VV couldnt jam after all becos liyana couldnt make it. had dinner at s-11 and met up with zal and aish there. walked around suntec then back to s-11 again for post-dinner (ahaha). anna's got problems with her wisdom tooth. till today i have no clue which tooth that is. * Guardroom is now OVERPOPULATED. we have a total strength of 12! with 11 provosts and Mamat shifted to RSM Runner. the 3 new guys Khairie, Junaidi and Goh are cool and fun to work with. new guy Azmi joined us today too, transferred from CDANS. at least now Sentry doesnt suck so much with 2 provosts on duty each time. and soon, when the 4 buggers are disseminated to the rota system, we'll have the dudes from 4th Div doing sentry with us too! a whole new regimentation. * after duty i stayed back to play Winning 11. had practically the whole "Guardroom Kompuak" playing against me. from ourselves to friends like Rino the storeman and Raden the NCO. Amzah who was doing 3 i/c duty joined too. i played about 8-9 matches using Turkey and beat everyone. in my last match i lost to Indra's Italy 2-1. CHEEBAI TIRED LAH. 2 and half hours of PLAYSTATION can really drain you. * called anna. she's on MC. poor thing. must be a really fucked tooth ache. or wisdom tooth thingie. whatever. * samantha aka thamz was online! LONG TIME NO SEE. she got a new tattoo on the back of her neck. it looks really...WOW. killer! had that "ohm" thing...i call it the Buddhist influenced trance tattoo. hahaha!

%!()(*hdgd^%$#danbdyrqr!!!
the gig last night ROCKED. deadby6, tears of despair, ubf, nazark and scores of other bands grinded and screamed. brilliant. especially TOD, with Berd being gang-flattened at one point. * L2N's set was like most others....im the hyper one, while the rest played like robots. then there's the Jammerz Pit talisman (we always have full line up when we play there). but fuck...samdin bob and brian DID NOT know that we were performing today. cheebai. they thought we were only at Jammerz Pit to jam. argh. * thanks to those who came to the show and stayed all the way behind, and those who sang along to If I Fall...i really appreciate it! * some of my friends couldnt make it but its ok, i understand their busy schedules. maybe next time. after the show irfaan, belo, eric and munir stayed over at irfaan's place...i wanted to go but my whole body was aching.

asian dub foundation
for the 2nd time running, i missed the ADF show. argh! in 2000 it was because of Tragic's gig at Kallang CC (and my incessant lack of money). this time Eric offered to pay for my entry first but i didnt go. partly because of the de-gen 2 meeting. * met up with Anna outside her shop at 630...bumped into Colin there. it was a weird place to bump into him...but anyway...he was on his way to meet his gf, when i told him abt the de-gen meeting at 8. he said he wld join me afterwards. after anna knocked off, we went with alfi (how the fuck do u spell his name anyway) to orchard mrt, where i was supposed to meet ellyn to get the band tags for tomorrow's show. bumped into small zan there and we chatted a bit. dyn and kyn walked past too, and we shared a few jokes. then alfi's friend passed by too. she apparently bought a cool hooded sweatie. * at abt 730 we dispersed, Alfi had some practise going on and i anna and colin went for dinner. had curry chicken with rice. power. anna didnt eat and had ice milo. oh well. then after dinner, (we finished at 800 hehehe) we met up with Liz at borders. for the first time, SHE CAME EARLY. wah! then jess imran and mich joined us. * after which the de-gen committee plus anna had our meeting...and post-dinner at BK after that. i feel awkward because im home so early at midnight. i dont usually come home so early on friday nights! :P * oh and finally i found another marchtwelve fan in anna. ahahaha. she was singing 'brainwashed' on the way home too!

harakiri rocks
after camp, went to Bob studios to meet up with Harakiri and gang. went there about 1/2 hr before they ended...and i thought they were finishing at 615pm, when they booked till 7. like an idiot i stood outside until i lost patience (the stuff they were playing seemed quite cool and i wanted to see it in-the-face) and barged in. at first i tried pushing, but i didnt know that Bob studio's doors were 1000 times heavier than Ah Boon's. butoh. i thought i was locked from inside until it was P U S H E D. * harakiri seems to have improved a lot...i think they were nervous during their Mtbatten CC set (zal buto dont kembang ok? hehe) but they were impressive just now. rock-grunge influenced punk. pover! * after that we (harakiri, aish and myself --> liyana had to leave early) went to Far East for makan...Bix joined us. long time never see her. she looks so much like a kakak Suria channel now ahahaha. then after that we went to BK to lepak and talk cock. met ewan and edryan there and discussed the forthcoming collab-split release. jess and imran joined us for more talk cock at about 10. and now i'm home.

monday nights
was off duty on monday. night duty the sunday before. encik found out i came late on Saturday and made me stay back an hour doing sentry. cheebai. hahahaha. went home to sleep and woke up at about 5. * then went to meet anna at her workplace. bumped into kismet and ariff there and we hung out at Borders because anna finished later than expected. after that bumped into her friend Alfi (shit, i keep forgetting his name sorry dude :P) outside her shop. seems he landed a job there too. bloody ORD fucker. hahaha! anyway the 3 of us walked down to Long John Silver's at Cineleisure and had dinner, with 3 chatty girls making a huge fuss of themselves behind us. nabeh. passed anna the shoes there. funny how she considers it big, because its freakingly small for me. * after that went to meet her colleagues and this girl Su was the only one who joined us after that. went to Borders, with Alfi flirting with Su (fucking hilarious), then to BK for late night tea and another talk cock session. went home on the last train at half past 11. cool to find out that anna digs STRIFE and MADBALL. LOL!

I conquered Ubin!!!
Friday - went along with SFOGS.com to Ubin (our mystery destination for the 7th outing). it was an overnight thing and there was a lot of different participants this time. indians, chinese and malay, and of ages ranging from 16 to 50! we met up at Kembangan MRT at about 5-ish and took a coach to the Changi jetty, where we collected our food and water rations...blah blah. Ubin was really fucking cool, it's a laid back island with lots of trees and fresh air and...big but friendly dogs. we had 2 nightwalks, both reaching the shore...first being Noordin beach, the next being the one near Kampong Melayu. we were split into 3 groups, of at least 7 people. not something which would give us much of a chance to see spooks, but it's always better to be safe. it was cool and a hell of a chill going through the dense jungles, with altars on our sides, the danger of durians and coconuts dropping on our heads and wild boars and snakes and...yes the classic Ubin ghosts. for some reason i did not encounter any. during the intermission we sat by Noordin beach, had food, water and told ghost stories. Mr Azman's stories were far and by the best. they were told in a very calm tone...really cool stuff! especially the story about the man-eating beast from Java which REALLY occured a few decades ago. i was kind of sleepy and stoned and started talking cock much to the amusement of everyone. nabeh. anyway, the 2nd nightwalk was a lot cooler, because it was along freaky pathways, my instincts sensed "things" were around us during our walk but i guess the only scary bit was crossing that little bridge next to the house with 3 big dogs. they were barking and barking and 1 of them chased us, though stopped after about 5 meters. good. i was prepared to kick the dog in case it tried to bite anyone in the group, but luckily nothing of that sort happened. good lah. other groups claimed they saw things in white flash across them, wild boars, white-cloth like spectres etc. i dont know. i hardly got any goosepimples that night...maybe someone should have taken photos....we all went home in the morning after a sumptuous breakfast at the infamous Changi Market. Saturday - night duty. with 3 recruits and 8 CITI buggers. was fun...caught the Korea-Turkey match (it was hard backing either team...Korea is the pride of asia and Turkey was one of the 4 teams i picked to support). Turkey won 3-2. the most touching part was after the match, Turk captain Hakan Sukur initiated a move which saw EVERYONE from both teams hold each other's hands and move down the pitch as an ode to the crowd. The humanity of it all...:) . then i, Mustaqim and Shaikh Mohd had fun playing Winning 11. i won most of my matches but lost my knockout matches (we played 2 tournaments because there were no 2nd controllers) to France. cheebai. anyway its -Sunday- now, i'm off to camp soon.

growl.
yesterday was at the Padang. met up with Mich and Jess at City Hall first, before the rest (harakiri, aish, and friends) joined us. went to the gig. when we got there Kildonan was halfway through the set. was hard to concentrate on the bands when the screen on stage had nothing but the Top 300 soccer goals things going on. then Screamfeeder played...run of the mill MTV rock band. ok lor. then there were some other bands i never heard. 59 minutes then went on, but pulled out after what seems to be a total unfamiliarity with the sound system. then Unvisual went on stage. well, ok...in all honesty, i was questioning Rockstar Collective's recent ideas of being part of very public and commercialized gigs, be them at the Padang or Mountbatten CC or whatever, because DIY is a bit more complex an ideology than it seems to be. anyway...Unvisual was kicked off stage, rudely, by the emcee (whom i used to work with a few times for D'rama shows) after 1 song. they're probably too noisy. but sial lah...Unvisual was only at their tamest...i wonder what would happen if they churned out their usual chaoticore stuff. next up was Dethmute. they covered slipknot stuff. i wonder how many fellatios they performed, because they were able to last 3 songs. plainsunset who was on the bill didnt play, and it was down to Marchtwelve to wrap it up. i could see that wan and dewi were frustrated...because Wan has 2 hypertones. one is the emotionally inspired hyperactivity, the other is the "kaninabehcheebai-im-pissed" hyperactivity. yesterday he demonstrated the latter. and dewi's singing had a lot of...erm..."inner growling". i dont know how to explain it. before marchtwelve left, farizwan said thanks for coming, but fucked up the organizers after that. i was so proud of my little friend than i ran onto him when he packed up and gave him a big hug. hope we all learn something from this. time has shown that the DIY music scene and the mainstream cohort can never be as one. * shahidil let me listen to the recorded OxD. must admit...its cool very fucking chaotic noisy shit. i like! after that i and the harakirians and ray and mich and a Jennifer Lopez-lookalike and her eurasian friend and this guy and that guy and...(pant) went to S-11 for supper and drinks. i think i might just pass that light blue John Purcell (that how u spell it?) to anna soon. too tight lah.

oposi bangsat!
becky..that crusty girl from the USA who's based in Indonesia....left yesterday morning. hung out with her and the grindcore gang for 2 nights. didnt do much but talk a lot of nonsense. watched the korea-germany match on tuesday...and now korea is out. turkey was knocked out by brazil last night too. bah. * becky plays in the matters (now renamed Oposi Bangsat). i didnt know that! because L2N is supposed to have a 3 way split cd with them and malaysia's dead symphony! dunno when it will be out, just hope L2N doesnt screw up this time... * gig soon at Padang. somehow i feel certain bands just "shouldnt" be on the list at such a place. oh well. at least marchtwelve is playing .... :)

Pityriasis Rosea
yes, thats what it's called. that fucking rash. you see, after Monday's visit to the MO, Dr Irwin Chung referred me to the National Skin Centre for detailed treatment and observation. in fact i just came back from the NSC. the docs (one junior and one senior) inspected me and confirmed it. good news - it is not serious. nor is it contagious or harmful. bad news - there is no treatment. the rash must run its course. KANINABEHCHEEBAI!!!!!! that means i have to endure about 6 more weeks of this itching shit?! "it might get worse but don't worry, the rash will go off by itself". hell it better. and soon! i cant stand this itchy shit and all these freaky red patches on my legs!!! and there is NO MC whatsoever, just some stupid pill and (yet another) cream. nabeh. argh. actually recently i've developed an interest in pathology, and now with this stupid Pityisnotenough (familiar? hehe) Rosea, im fast gaining interest in dermatology! *scratch* fucking Pitywhatever Rosea...argh! (check out the hyperlink for more info on that fucking Pitywhatever Rosea) * i just bought ISS Pro Evolution 2 last night. PLAYSTATION LIVES AT HOME! WOOOHOOO!

of rashes and Playstation
got home from the L2N jam (our 4th this year. yes, ONLY our 4th). wrote a new song and rehearsed "Question", and some of our old stuff. might have to jam again next week, and we would hit the studios in August. * the rashes seem to have gotten worse. Nizwar used to get them too, he recommended Calamine Lotion which my dad bought. good. Dad was sooooo concerned about the rash. he's a great dad :). and what was cooler was that he bought himself the portable Playstation 1! POWER! now i can play Winning 11 at home!!!! problem is...who the fuck sells PS 1 games nowadays? * cousin stacy is back. should be hanging out with her soon. maybe drag her along to catch the gig on the 27th with marchtwelve and all. could get her to bring brandon along too...or our other cousin nadia.

God damned World Cup...
yay England is out, beaten by Brazil. yay US fucking A lost to the Germans, hence is out too. hell yeah Korea did wonders again beating Spain on penalties. and DOUBLE HOORAY for Turkey for ousting Senegal. weird fucking tournament. * went to a secret island today with some friends from SFOGS.com for a "mission". rocking. but tiring. then went home, had a Dettol bath and treated the fucking rashes (which seems to fluctuate in condition) before going out again to join the Grindcore Gang for the senegal - turkey game. after that Munir left and we all walked down towards Forum. supposed to have L2N jamming today but Terence phone didnt ring at the most important of times. oh well its been postponed to 8pm tomorrow. * on the way to Forum bumped into some CD guys and "bass grrrrl" Anna (with friend). upon reaching Forum we talk cock sing song at Forum (that fucking area is Mat-Minah "wild" infested today) and i and Ayam left at about 0045 to take the night bus services home. and oh...bumped into Ezan (ex Protest) on the way too. its a beautiful life. :)

ENGLAND vs BRAZIL!
thats in a few hours time! been an amazing tournament. france italy and argentina are out...and its the quarters! 4 giants and 4 underdogs left. Spain England Brazil Germany vs Senegal Korea USA Turkey. at least my Turkey made it to the last 8! but i'm still shocked as to how Senegal managed to kill of Sweden and how Korea upstaged the mighty Italians. fucking weird. Weird Cup 2002 indeed. * i've been infected with a rash which began on the waist (and disappearing) and has now conquered both my thighs. fuck. fucking docs didnt even give me MC. all i got was stupid pills which dont work and redundant creams. i better recover soon. rashes suck. and ive got a runny nose and a temperature yesterday. * met up with the grindcore gang most of the past few days...and met up with Tim from Germany. we had a great time hanging out and had a brilliant "project" at that! he's leaving midnight...too bad i'll be in camp. but its fun meeting him! hope to do so again!

it's been a mind-fucking World Cup
when i first wrote that the underdogs will rise in this World Cup, never did i imagine it would be this mindfucking. first there was the Senegal shocker. then Asian teams Japan and South Korea showed steel and grit. then USA topped Portugal. then Croatia's 2-1 win over Italy. FUCK. France are now out. and its likely that other giants Italy and Argentina are about to follow suit. that means the only giants playing in the second round could be England and Brazil. ONLY England and Brazil. well maybe Spain as well but just how many people actually consider them "giants"? right now Sweden is leading 1-0 over Argentina. just how weird can this World Cup thing get.

taxi drivers.
on sunday night i went to see a doctor...about the heel. im surprised i got no fracture. got a day's MC and 4 days light duty. wished there was more. * when i left Changi Hospital it was close to 11.30pm. looking into my pockets i found out that i had $3.50. fair enough to get a cab. i took one home, then realized when the meter reached $3.50 the cab was like 500 meters from home. i told the cabby to drop me off immediately because i did not have enough money. what happened next really touched me. THE CABBY OFFERED TO TAKE ME TO MY PLACE. it was really sweet and a kind gesture. i initially didnt want to...saying "paiseh" like 1000 times but the cabby insisted. in the end i told him to drop me off some distance away from home, lying that my home was "there only". he even made sure by asking "u sure ah?". even though the difference between the eventual cost and the money i had was about 50¢, it was the gesture and thought that counts. I think his name was Mr Ng Swee Wah, and he drove a Comfort cabby. Bless his kind soul.

CONVERGE ?!

Which Angry White Boy Band are You?

test by

*** what!? but i don't even listen to them! i was kind of hoping i would strike Charles Bronson or something...

Monday, June 10, 2002

01:40 p.m.

so what if it's been a week...
yes. a week since this fucking thing got updated. maybe even longer. i didnt even bother to backtrack. last Saturday was fun, with the CITI guys doing guard. missed the presence of the gila gila soccerites like Mohd Shaik and Iskandar. and oh, Mamat's got a new cat. we call it Comeng the DART Cat. because it's always doing stunts and doing daredevil stuff like walking on 2 meter high beams (mind you, its a CAT) and jumping from bed to bed. * the weekdays saw the rise of ASIAN SOCCER! although Saudi Arabia had a fucking disastrous World Cup so far, my faves Japan did well against my other fave Belgium. in fact the former SHOULD have won, if not for a disallowed 3rd goal in the 2-2 draw. Turkey lost very narrowly to Brazil 1-2, and Paraguay SHOULD have beaten Sth Africa. * and Mamat's cat is still living in the guardroom/BRTC vicinity. * W0 Rafi took a week's leave, and every fucking bastard in the Guardroom, myself included, took at least 1/2 day off at one point of time. Then Friday night was chaos night. hehehehee. * Saturday aka yesterday - went to the gig early. apparently i was asked by Kyn to help be a crew member for Bang Banana Bang Bang! all the bands there put up a credible perfomance but with KOK, Mery Cherry, Virgin Violets, Radium Rags and Force Vomit outstanding. Harakiri rocked too...albeit being the last band. Unfortunately. Playing in Traffic are cheesy but always interesting to catch. Suburban Dammit ROCKED too! And so did Metal Gunzz...been forever since i saw Boboy...and was i shocked to find him behind the drums hahahaha! the covered Metallica, Iron Maiden and that theme song from The Crow. now i'm going to have to dig in my tapes again to see if i still have that song. hehehee. traded some stuff with the Jahil guys...and after that the fucking Colin lifted me up, joined by Ray and Calvin and Shafa and 1000 other idiots! wah lau. i kena gang rape! and had water poured down my pants!!!!! fucking hell! then after that ah...when we were in Colin's car (he gave me a lift) that fucker Colin drove off...with my door open and my foot still on the ground. HIS WHEEL WENT OVER MY ANKLE! ARRRRRRRGH!!!!!! * Munir called and asked if i wanted to join the grindcore gang in town...but my lack of money and wet pants and tortured ankle...it wasnt possible. but i had fun. SERIOUSLY. :)

Sunday, June 9, 2002

02:47 p.m.

girls power, power girls
girl of the month link updated. and this time you get literally hundreds of girls :)

Sunday, June 2, 2002

01:03 p.m.

Japan Belgium Turkey Paraguay
before anyone makes any smart comments...these are the 4 teams i'm backing for the 2002 World Cup. too bad Holland didnt qualify, otherwise i would be rooting for them all the way. * Japan will create a few shockwaves around the tournament. hope to see them beyond Round 1. * Belgium, for some reason, is the team i always use for soccer video games (in fact i use all the teams listed for Winning 11 and Virtua Striker hahaha), hence the romantic link. but the real Belgium may not be that much of a global giant but like Senegal, they are capable of a few surprises. * Turkey soccer has impressed me tremendously over the past few years...and they have become a force to be reckoned with. * Paraguay...with a gila keeper, it's enough to capture my attention. South American soccer rules! * i don't expect any teams to lift the trophy, but what the fuck. this World Cup promises to be tighter than ever, with the underdogs doing more than just making up the numbers....

Saturday, June 1, 2002

12:32 a.m.

France 0 - Senegal 1
holy shit! a major upset!!! reigning World Cup champ France lost to newcomer Senegal! fucking amazing. before the match i had a funny feeling that Senegal would win...or at least create a few surprises but never ever did i expect them to upstage the champions in this IMPRESSIVE manner! much respect to the debutants from Africa. * watched the match with Smot and his kampung buddy Jali at some run of the mill coffeeshop in Pek Kio. cool crowd turned up to watch...all those lao ah peks, Banglas and makotais. the 3 of us were probably the only "mats" there. soccer fever has indeed infected everyone.

Saturday, June 1, 2002

12:28 a.m.

of drunks and freaks
got back from camp about 4 hours ago. night duty yesterday night. and the next saturday as well. fuck. 2 saturday nite duties back to back. fuck. and that means missing the Marchtwelve sow @ Youthpark on June 1. fuck. * yesterday was quite fun in camp. in the morning, after i was done with Friday's nite duty, Rizal came back. he got released from Detention last Wednesday. he's got a new tattoo covering up his left forearm. brilliant beng artwork! then i found out from him that the youth who got beaten at Clementi MRT a few days ago (it came out in the news) was hammered by Rizal's buddies. "kerja bodoh sial diorang". couldnt agree more. would probably see some of them enlisting in CD in the next few years eh? hehe. * yesterday night was funner. (yes i am a singlish speaking idiot so fuck you). CITI guys were doing their confinement duties yesterday. we all joked, wrestled and scolded each other for fun. then RDR had a call that someone in Detention Barracks got possessed. i and the DOS Cpl Rizal (no not the tattooed guy..another bugger) went down to check it out. and shit...there really was someone possessed. Detainee Hadiyanto (a former CBMU guy) apparently went into fits and had to be taken to hospital. dunno real or wayang. WO Ibrahim was the DO yesterday. that means bochup-ness and vulgarities. i purposely didnt knock the door when he went into the Rest Room with me because i know the CITI guys were smoking. indeed they were. Encik threatened detention for that guy he caught (forgot the name) then realized that he was a Private and not a Recruit. but it was funny looking at their terrified faces. Encik will never charge Privates for smoking. i knew that thats why i didnt knock that door. hahaa. we then had some gaming going on, playing that dumb Champions League soccer game. only lost 1 match to Shaikh Mohd's Real Madrid and lost to Man Utd in the Quarter final round when we all decided to play the "vs Com" tournament. now let me brag that i played about 13 games in all :-). National Service in Civil Defence can be more fun than torture...

Sunday, May 26, 2002

03:04 p.m.

in words
monday - Hadi surrendered after being on AWOL after his premature release from the DRC. we didnt smile or greet each other when he appeared out of nowhere at the Guardroom. i felt a bit awkward when the rest of the guys were saying hi to him. i've never really gotten along with him, and i dont know if i ever will. he's in Detention Barracks now i think. Sufian and Nurrudin fooled around at C Coy Block...and got stuck in the lift. hahah! 2 big tough tattooed matbengs stuck in the lift and calling office pleading for help. HAHAHAHAH! they got out eventually of course. then when they ran out at 5pm (to avoid the dismissal parade) Nurrudin missed a step and fell into a drain. i was at Sentry and laughed hysterically at that incident. * tuesday - did nothing. bored. * wednesday - Rememories jamming cancelled. fuck. went out with Ewan for a while to Raffles place and then to the tunnel at...(not telling) to check out cool punk graffiti! then headed to S-11 for makan. bumped into Nizam and Suhaimi there. then Belo Hikmah Munir and Samdin passed by and we all sat together gather. Samdin went off to meet his buddies at airfan while Munir studied at the library. Ewan then went off to meet Mariam while the 3 of us chatted and chatted. once munir came back we walked all the way down to Orchard, "lepaked" and went back home. okay lor..at least it wasnt that much of a waste of an off day.

Thursday, May 23, 2002

02:55 p.m.

stupid tests...

Find your emotion!

**** anyway... Saturday => now i'm Guard Comdr. that means more responibilities. kanina. anyway met up with Atok and Eric at S-11 after duty. then munir joined us. then hikmah. and eventually the grindcore gang. supposed to meet Berd and co after that but didnt. nothing too interesting. will soon exchange that Nescient CD with the Abortion CD with Hik soon. Sunday => slept in camp. confiscated about 4 hardpacks of cigarettes. fucking recruits. but we got it all settled. talked to them abit about their forthcoming NS life as Privates. its 3 more weeks to the Posting Out Ceremony of Intake 83. wah so fast. Ria 89.7fm played an early Morbid Angel song. freaky! just done chatting with Rach. she's the best ever...

Monday, May 20, 2002

12:50 a.m.

song 2.
met up with Lauren and Smot at Borders at 5pm. we hung out, had some food and talked about hardcore and punk. Lauren's a friend of Gavin, some old contact who runs stickfigure distribution in the USA. * then after that met up with Fen and Colin at BK. we then split up again and headed to Jammerz Pit for the 2nd Rememories jam session. it went well, but it could have been better. we're going out there to destroy all wimpy pretentious fake emo, and show everyone that real emo cannot be recited or re-enacted. i sound so preachy.

Saturday, May 18, 2002

12:24 a.m.

why we should talk cock and why ahbengs are punk.
Suwanda is at camp while im writing this. tomorrow is his last night of duty before he clears his leave and will ORD sometime in June. i'll miss him. though not exactly my best friend, he was my rota partner for a good 4-5 months. i'll remember his "bastardizations" (sudden MCs, or disappearances), our Winning Eleven feuds, the good jokes we had, the quarrels and disagreements we had, and our one and only punch-up. im such a sentimental nerd. * Sukiman is in a funny mood in camp today. ah fuck he was never "normal". hahaha. but then 1 more week and he's off to serve a brief prison sentence. he went AWOL for 5 months, with the most common reason for a Deserter, early marriage. he married his long time girlfriend and they now have a kid. i wish him the best. ironic because i remember him trying to "hung" me when we were both recruits! hahaa! * i took leave from work tonight to catch the last ever screening of Talkingcock.com - The Movie. yes, it's THAT important. i would have not thought about taking leave if Ray didnt page me at 0130 in the morning! and also i ran out of outstanding off days. hehehe...* caught the show with Ray, Eugene and Liz. Alison is back (NABEH!!!! AND I ONLY KNEW IT TODAY), and she and Natasha joined us, only to find out that the original 4 (me liz ray gene) probably bought the LAST TICKETS! * the show rocked. its pure TALKINGCOCK! i laughed throughout. * after that we "lepaked" at KFC Far East with Rina, her gf, some of Alison's friends etc. then we headed to Forum and met up with Kyn and Nur. I ray and gene left about 830pm because apparently Ray had to meet someone to pass him something at his place. then the 3 of us had makan-makan at Rubber Hand. * we then went to Ray's place so that Gene could play with Happy, Ray's dog. Happy is such a cute little thing. she likes licking stuff. i made sure she didnt touch my feet. i can never imagine my TOES being licked!

Thursday, May 16, 2002

01:43 a.m.

death.
this is a bit too late but 4ward Studios, the pennacle of local gigs since January this year, has announced its decision to close down. FUCK. that means no more awesome gigs in amazing personal atmospheres, and the definite postponement of De-gender-alize 2(002). AAAAARGH. * Lauren emailed me. She will call either Bernard or myself soon. and yes she's female, which ends the debate about her gender (?!). us ignorant singaporeans. anyway she didnt come here at the best of times because...she wants to check out the "scene" but with so many venues expensive or, like 4ward, shut down...she will miss on amazing bands and gigs. wah lau. * and Rach commented on my blog! :-D

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

12:33 p.m.

it's in times like this...
yesterday was fun. went to Hafiz's house for Winning Eleven matches. i was horribly off-form, missing open goals and what not. I lost to Juju, Khairil (understandable), narrowly beat Hafiz and LOST TO BERD OF ALL PEOPLE. bastard! Berd came late some more. but i loved the 2 vs 2 matches; Berd + me VS Juju and Ril. * upon reaching home i heard the sad news told to me by Rahmat Jahilia. Abdul Khalid's dad, critically ill for a long time, passed away yesterday. it's a terrible feeling and im very sorry for Khalid and family. it will take some time for Khalid to get over this but i'm sure he will. for there is an end to every beginning * also resolved the little problems i had with my parents as of late (which i didnt babble about over here in this blog...hehe). and i've also calmed the tremors between myself and Rach. it's great to be talking to her normally again. she has been a very important person in my life (and i dont talk about her to any of my friends until this year) for the past 3 years or so. * cheers to friendship, love and life!

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

12:34 p.m.

rememories
yes!!!!!!! the band finally took off after weeks of discussing. we had the first jam on Friday nite, in which i came about 20 minutes late. but being the maiden session, it was good timing, at least on my part. because as the band screamer, i would have to allow grace for the rest to coagulate musically before i could begin on my "testaments". its me, berd, ray, colin and this cool grindcore-loving dude micha. * Saturday -- after a disastrous IPPT result i went back to camp for about 2 hours. with the half day off, i rushed home, had lunch and went straight to Hafiz's place for Winning Eleven matches against brother Berd. Berd talk cock a lot. say can whack me 5-0 in the game. in the end he lost all his games against me. i need better challengers leh. next up will be matches against Juju, Hafiz and Khairil. went to the metal gig afterwards. a lot of metal stuff, but Birdbrain and Demisor were what i came for. and they never disappointed. went home with a bunch of new CDs too! its been sometime since i bought a CD! i'm a tape/vinyl freak!

Sunday, May 12, 2002

01:44 a.m.

makhsiat.
fucking hell. ive become lazy. sometimes you see me enter 3 entries of bullshit ramblings in a day, now i hardly even come to this stupid Add An Entry page. * met up with the #thursday orgistra committee...discussed the forthcoming event, then had dinner. Elfy ASP/Gunshot Mondaze joined us soon after. Brother Berd had a sabo-session from me, colin and ray. mich was busy laughing, and so was Elfy. liz was supposed to be there to join in but didnt. *&^%#$@#$.

Wednesday, May 8, 2002

11:42 p.m.

laarfklfweiu;lasd
so its been what? 2 weeks since i wrote anything here? hehehe been very busy and lazy lah. let's have a run-in of the past week. Last [Sunday] i went to the Return to Fall CD launch gig at the Substation. it was an indierock gig, and all the bands ROCKED except for maybe Parousia. stupid rich ass Christian band. [Monday] night i was supposed to be off duty but Indra had to rush to the hospital for his dad had some serious "batu karang" thing (no idea what the fuck that means) so i covered him on night duty. [Tuesday] morning...OFF DAY. went to meet up with Ray and Bernard to discuss the forthcoming, VERY POSSIBLE DE-GENDER-ALIZE 2(OO2). meeting went well and i was very sure of what we from #thursday orgistra wanted. [Wednesday] reported for duty late. 1030 am. luckily Lta Tang wasnt in his bitchy mood, otherwise i and Suwanda would have been charged in Detention. kanina! so out of a guilty conscience (ya right) i went off about 2 hours later than i should. met up with the Rockstar Collective (www.geocities.com/rockstarcollective) to discuss the possible collaboration. meeting went way till past 11. [Thursday] another normal day duty. WO Rafi found out about the late-coming the previous day and burnt my remaining 1/2 off day. cheebai! but still it's better than being in an isolated cell for 3 days and have your pay held for another month. im left with 75¢... [Friday] it's 2.48 in the AFTERNOON and i just got up. we'll see what happens later.

Friday, May 3, 2002

02:40 p.m.

what a waste of off days
i had duty off on wed and thursday. and both days i did nothing but SLACK AT HOME. fuck! * thursday wasnt so bad. Janet caught a cold, and somehow it led us to arguing about sending her to a doc. luckily it's all cool now. * met Jasmine (not Jiamin but Jas Bedok) at about 9 at her void deck to lepak. we talked crap, listened to some music and took pics. maybe i'll upload them pics up here someday. oh yes, and cats rule. * im going to miss Sat's gig at 4ward, and there's no guarantee yet i'll be at Substation on Sunday for the RTF Launch with Marchtwelve. sien-ism. * slogan of the day : Men are dicks, and women are cunts. so what sexism is there?

Friday, April 26, 2002

04:04 a.m.

HARSHTHRASH!
its UP! my solo techNOise guttural screams project Han Yew Kwang is up on mp3.com! check the links! Bob also gave me the password to the L2N mp3.com page, so i've updated the lead2nitrate page! check the links! [in case you're that dumb] www.mp3.com/lead2nitrate * www.mp3.com/hanyewkwang

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

05:49 p.m.

FASTCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday --- met Pian at 440pm at Dhoby Ghaut where he ran off copies of the Tokyo Tribe Digital Hardcore zine. i was late by 25 mins. :) * after that met up with smot, munir, belo, salihin and ayam for chicken rice at "kedai pakcik". GRINDCORE GANG! we then left for the gig at Novena. brother Berd SMSed me like a 1000000000 times. * when i entered Raspatul was playing. THEY WERE FUCKING KILLER. metallic hardcore stuff. reminds me of some Belgian band. you know, H8000 shit. * Berd's band was up next. TEARS OF DESPAIR! they were good! intense emo-metal, ala Morning Again! fucking good shit!!!!!! * Unvisual was next! chaotic core, though their set seemed a little "off" compared to the previous Unvisual sets! but it's intense shit anyhow! * Jahilia was up next. FUCK! i was there to catch 3 bands, and they all played back to back! JAHILIA WAS CRAZED. the entire moshpit became a mega wrestling ring, and the cooler thing was that there were no fights! just fucking violent FUN! aaaaaaaaaarghhh! went home happy with a Jahilia shirt, Dignity zine #3 and Tokyo Tribe zine. * supposed to see Anu off with Jane and Liz, but Anu switched off her phone. and rejected my calls twice! hmmm....i didnt get the chance to say goodbye =(. keep in touch Anu!!!!!! Sunday --- played like 11 games at Winning Eleven, losing twice to the fucking Suwanda. called Janet up for chit chat, and slept the rest of the day. i love Sunday 'day' duty.

Sunday, April 21, 2002

10:04 p.m.

sphinx
>
I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by !

Sunday, April 21, 2002

10:04 p.m.

needs and wants
i want so much to call you. but would i be intruding? what keeps me from being so honest? is it the fear that lies within? fear of unintentional offense? i hope you are different from the rest. and i hope to find out soon. i await impatiently, for you to open that door again. when? and who?

Friday, April 19, 2002

01:34 a.m.

MC.
got an MC today. went home to rest, and excused from duty. awoke to find messages left behind online by Nid and Janet. so sweet. they asked if i was sick. obviously i am but it was nice to see "u sick ah?" on the screen. * called Janet like a million times but she didnt pick it up. stupid. why bother having a phone and not pick it up when someone calls. * then Reza called and asked if i was going to Bishan for the SFOGS.com thing. i would have forgotten about it if he didnt remind me. thats what headaches do to you. * the interview on SFOGS.com by that TMC Tertiary group went well. * Anu's going away soon. for good. NOOOOOOOOOO. we were close for a while (like in 2001) but we drifted apart after my enlistment and all that. now she tells me she's flying off to the US of fucking A, possibly for good. im going to miss her. Liz misses her like all hell too. They were almost like sisters. it sucks both of them have to part like that. but they say, life goes on. ~ all the best Anu. i will miss the good times and bad times. the times you bothered to just talk to me about stuff that bothered me. the times you said "i'll call you back" but you didn't (hehe). the treats. the friendship. the laughs. thanks for being the sister i never had, and the brother i never had all, in one ~

Friday, April 19, 2002

01:17 a.m.

indierock and electrothrash
I FUCKING LOVE THORACIC DISRUPTOR! FUCK!!!!!!! i would put them in line with Masonna and deathsitcom and Desert Storm Breakcore Squad and Illament and Patient Zero and Sonic x Disorder!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK! they even remix Slayer! * Return To Fall is nothing short of AMAZING! they've taken indierock to new heights! its good and sorrowful! I MUST GO TO THEIR LAST RTF CD LAUNCH AT SUBSTATION ON 28TH ! leave or off MESTI jalan punya!

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

03:48 p.m.

sfdjhfdjyh
met up with Jane and Tecko just now for lunch. had chicken rice. they had fishball soup and noodles. * left to meet Berd and friend (Hafiz?). engaged in a talk cock session over beverages and soft drinks. after that i and Berd left to play some arcade games. the arcade scene is dying. * after that we separated and i went to Bedok Genie Funland for Virtua Striker 3. challenged some fucking bastard stranger who played with cheat codes...i was so pissed at his cowardly way that i showed him the middle finger before leaving. can't stand people who cheat when facing strangers. * "Gig" aka evelyn called me just now. finally. we talked about 15 minutes about the scene. she might come to the gig on the 20th. great! too bad she just missed the recent one (the RTF Launch). that was a hell of a show.

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

07:40 p.m.

Just Another Never Ending Threat
met up with Janet today. before that bumped into Sharil and Suhaimi at Orchard MRT. i and Janet hung out around Orchard for a while, over lunch, a stroll around HMV and a talk cock session at BK. she cracks me up, is friendly and can take jokes...and even rebutt some of my wise cracks. damn. and she's emo. by definition. she's giving tuition as i write this. hahahaha!

Monday, April 15, 2002

09:05 p.m.

i got 3 girl's phone numbers in 5 days.
but that does not mean i'm a stud. while on duty on Saturday, Isyam brought us food in a cab...along with his girlfriend and her sister. for some reason i shed all sense of shame and dignity and hinted strongly for Isyam's gf's sister's number...and i wasnt even serious! and hell i got a number within 10 minutes. wow. i'll just call her "M". "M"'s rather hot. and i mean HOT. sizzling HOT! * after that went to the gig at 4ward. ARGH! FUCK! MY PRECIOUS just KILLS! freaking amazing set! there was even a part when Kyn forgot how to sing to that slow part in that Kindread cover (Cornerned Away) and passed the mic to me. i screamed without invitation...and Rina was screaming the background bits and all..FUCKING EMO! and all those guys around us, with my "Dol" buddy hugging me and all, and fucking Din jumping on us with his bass and we all were flat on the ground in the midst of sweaty bodies and...nabeh. fuck. My Precious is SO precious! intense intense INTENSE!!!! * Marchtwelve rocked so goooooooood. everyone was fucking singing along to their "hits" Out Of Pockets...and they dedicated Brainwashed to me! Razi was stumped by the fact that i was the only one who sang along to Brainwashed; TUNEFULLY! but how could i not, not when the song touched me so hard the first time i listened to it! Joseph and Dewi and Madno were smiling, thats rare! hahaha! The other performances were equally powerful; My Squared Circle was amazing, Return To Fall lived up to their reputation with their powerful set, and Nizam with his Stomach Headache was just cute! Both of us were sitting near the door when RTF played and just laughing at ourselves. * after that headed down to Newton for makan. then myself, djohan, dinslife, joe, acit, fadil, farizwan and nizam walked ourselves to Orchard Rd, before separating. the cool part about the walk was that all of us sang OLD ROCKAPAK/JIWANGROCK classics whilst walking! Search, Bumiputra Rockers, Gersang, Iklim and all! insane but fucking FUN. * i djo and acit met up with tomek and ah-hood near Pacific Plaza to talk cock and look at girls, though i slept halfway. * after that i went back to camp in that Night Owl Bus Service M174.

Sunday, April 14, 2002

10:56 p.m.

old school hi cut Lottos = thrashcore as fuck.
got myself new shoes today. fucking OLD SCHOOL high cut white Lottos with black-gray linings. $30! what a fucking bargain!!!!! * before that went to Peace Centre to run off copies of Zerox...and realized i didnt pay the cost of the zines! fuck! i must go back there Monday, because the staff at the print shop have been soooooo nice to me. they're probably the last people in the "capitalist world" (hahaha) i would rip off. * met up with Smot, Munir and Hikmah at Funan. HIKMAH! been ages since i last saw her. about 2 years ago! she's still the same petite cute thing as always. she got this cool Dark Funeral sticker. * after that Munir's friend (i always forget his name..sorry) joined us. we sat and talk cock, and had Long John Silver's which i "ta-pao" from the outlet nearby. Wan and Kamal (the Tampines Thrash Drunx...hahaha) joined us at about 9. i got fucked by Smot because i disappeared for 15 minutes. actually i sneaked into the arcade for my "drug", Virtua Striker 2000! hehehe! * those drunx were supposed to drink like coke + gin + lemon soda stuff...when they realized that the bottle of mean looking gin was...well...WATER! hahahahahhahahahah! that's what you get for taking something on display. the anonymous SxSx had been had! it was hilarious. * after lots of cursing, i smot hik and the 2 drunx shared ghost stories. * went off at 10:15 with Hik, and Wrestlemania didnt seem too interesting despite the hype. maybe its because i like all those "odd" matches...like Hardcore, or No Disqualification, or Ladder Match...stuff like that. death-defying stuff basically.

Saturday, April 13, 2002

12:56 a.m.

who the fuck is Fozzie?
but who cares.

	You are Fozzie! Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you're a great friend and can always be counted on..
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Thursday, April 11, 2002

11:04 p.m.

BARIS!!!! SEDI....IA!!!!!!!
just got back from camp. was part of the 3-man flag party in the quarterly Commander's Parade. everything went well, i think i did pretty well for my debut as part of the Parade. Cpt Jalil made a few of us laugh (discreetly of course!) because of his marching cock-up. and the officers' turnout and march was HILARIOUS. not say i damn good or what but hey...officers shouldnt cock up and then act like the biggest fuck in the world! * made friends with Janet yesterday. this ex-JC girl who digs emorock, indierock and the like! coolio! she should be going to 4ward this weekend for the RTF Launch gig. im looking forward to it too, with all those opening bands, especially the mighty Marchtwelve and My Precious! xxx

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

11:36 a.m.

back to camp
going to shower and get ready to go back to camp in a few moments. TONIGHT PRIVATE GUARD! ALAMAK! fuck...shit. fuck. * wonder who will be posted from Intake 82 Provost Course into Guardroom. * dreamt of ex CHR classmates and Intake 82 Provost course last night. weird. * been thinking about her again. i'm infatuated. but i hope i won't be dissapointed. she said we would definitely hang out. by the end of the year. i rebutted "well 30 Dec is also technically this year". she laughed. i think im in love. but i told her everything. that i dont want to brood about it because we havent met. Nizam supposedly knows her too, and she's seen him blade before, but nothing is more concrete than purity. the purity of sight. of seeing something which is REAL. * got a package in the mail from noisician friend Crypt, of Madrid (Spain). i'm not sure if its a him or her *grin* but Crypt's project Hinouki just rocks! also sent 4 CDrs of Hinouki splits, comps and releases, and a diskette with 2 ads for Zerox #9.

Monday, April 8, 2002

03:29 p.m.

i think it has to do with the fact that i lack sleep but...
i finally told her. no bullshit hints all, just went real honest. she went real honest back. she has her qualms about meeting up with people from the net. i share her sentiments, had similar insecurities and...err.."qualms" before. I TOLD YOU SCORPIOS COMMUNICATE WELL! she just rocks. hopefully everything that i know about her is the truth. then again im questioning the obvious. but thats what you expect when a person just means so much to you. emotions are scary pieces of shit instilled in you. * Tracey Tan rocked again in Growing Up. ~drool~.

Monday, April 8, 2002

12:22 a.m.

today yesterday and friday
TODAY - just got home from Harris' birthday party. yes my cute little 7 yr old cousin. fell asleep amongst the partying and i woke up with everyone smiling at me and some relative about to stuff cake in my gaping mouth. FUCKING EMBARASSING! but amusing too. she didnt have to apologize though. hehe. Ma brought over little Anna (whom she babysits once in a while) who, with her adorable Dutch-Indonesian looks, sent everyone ooh-ing and aah-ing. oh bumped into Fairul on his bike. been 2891839038 days since i saw him. still punk as fuck :) * Terence is on the way to Taiwan for army related shit. bah. ************ SATURDAY - fucking long day. met up with half of the grindcore gang and headed to Beach Road for Project S. afterthat Belo parted ways to go for some post ORD makan-makan, and Matno left to meet Ezad. i smot and munir went to the gig at 4ward studios. pretty cool gig, mostly heavy hardcore bands. but for some reason the gig didnt kick so much ass. maybe its the monotony of the bands. or maybe its the droves of unfamiliar faces. or maybe i was just in my mood. fuck lah whatever. * after that met up with Eric and Kyo, with Bre, Fadil and Shahidil, and headed to Union Square at the Amara Hotel for that digital hardcore/hard dance/electronica gig. FREE AND FUCKING COOL! long time since i cheonged, but there was just something distracting me, so i didnt cheong as hard as i would like. Reiki had a great set, though she put it modestly as "aiya its OK only what". breaks breaks breaks! and Arsenal beat Spurs 2-1! reached home at 430 am. kanina. oh Shammir and Karim came down from KL but couldnt meet them, unfortunately. just too much stuff to do. maybe next time. ************* FRIDAY - met up with Rei (cheshire), Jon (Losttarot) and Jerome (occarum) at some sort-of #novelists meet up. didnt do much but walk around town (i was from camp). at about 8+ we parted ways and i headed to city hall to meet up with the grindcore gang. bumped into Samdin and Bob at the airfan. Bob's leg is still injured and has to use a crutch. but he'll recover soon, the injury's not so serious. Dol and gang are fucking clowns. i've never laughed so much in ages!

Sunday, April 7, 2002

07:45 p.m.

iudkjaf
kena influenza and sore throat. hoped to get 2 day MC instead got just 1. fuck. * yesterday night Pte Faiz surrendered after 100 days of going AWOL. the night before had Pte Latif, a fellow provost from 2nd Div. the latter had a sensible reason (fucked up Encik). * girl of the month link updated. :-)

Tuesday, April 2, 2002

06:50 p.m.

lalala....growl...lalala...growl!
yesterday the show was AMAZING. i only caught bits and pieces of it because i was running around looking for people, avoiding people (haha) and waiting anxiously for RAI KO RIS. i caught Anaconda's first 2 songs...which was killer material! then i went missing again. caught The Sundance Project which reminds me a lot of Kilnemia! before that i and Kecik Krasty went to Novena MRT to fetch the Nepalis...and their 2 friends from Johor; Manja and this girl whom i didnt know her name (why didnt i ask?!). anyway RKR rules! they played to a very supportive crowd again. they were really cool and friendly despite being fucking tired (yesterday was their last show of their Singapore-Malaysia tour...AND I GOT THEIR LIMITED EDITION TOUR SHIRT!!! FREEEEE! THANKS OLIVIER!!!!!!) RAI KO RIS has officially CONQUERED Singapore and Malaysia! * after that went for makan at Newton and reached home at 4am. basket. * sorry Smot, Belo, Munir, Matno, Elfy, Kecik and the rest of the grindcore gang for not joining them after the show. RKR's last hours in Singapore before they fly back, and i JUST HAD to stay with them for the hugs and kisses. hahaha! * Olivier really had a lot of good things to say abt the Singapore/Malaysia DIY scene. PUNK AS FUCK! YOU IS BE PUNK, I IS PUNKSAI!!!!! ** Quote of the day - "You Singapore kids have filthy minds!" Sareena (when Olivier took off his shirt to play drums and we all called him PORNSTAR. hahaha! i called him Ronan Keating so i guess i have a clean mind. *grin*) *** next week got gig. yay.

Sunday, March 31, 2002

03:13 p.m.

Rai Ko Ris again!!!!
Hadi 51 just answered my page. apparently RKR should be in Novena within a few hours. brilliant! cant wait to see them 'live' again, and their song on the 7" is just EXCELLENT!!!!! * might trade Give Me Back v/a 12" with Terence for the Melt Banana CD he passed to me yesterday... argh. Give Me Back is a brilliant compilation of music and ideas on the issue of gender-equality. argh.

Saturday, March 30, 2002

03:50 p.m.

BORN AGAINST - "Body Counts"
fuck your vision of a world where no one's ugly, no one's old fuck your version of a beauty that sets the standards for all the runners up fuck your definition of perfection, the smiling commodity that isn't human, that isn't allowed to step off the page and testify that this isn't real fuck your headless torsos fuck your young white skin fuck your bulging biceps fuck your tan shaved limbs this isn't real - BORN AGAINST -

Saturday, March 30, 2002

03:46 p.m.

Good Friday? THRASH FRIDAY more likely!
today has just been crazy. fucking crazy. * supposed to hang out at Irfaan's place with the grindcore gang but in the end we didnt. ok so we met up eventually at City Hall...did the usual roundings and browsings; bumped into ppl like Kecik and the dudes from Impiety. i found 2 pairs of hi-cut shoes which cost $30 each! i'm going to have to get them soon because my current shoes are close to the "condemned" standard. SILVER Lotto and White canvas (forgot the brand...silly sounding one) hi-cuts. THRASHOES those! * headed to S-11 for makan...waiting for Munir who was instead at Orchard with Terence and Brian. pundanaki! pariah fella. * after conquering Borders we "lepaked" at the oh-so-trendy-punk spot "Gallery". the Grindcore Gang with guest drunks at the Galls. fuck. insane. everyone (except me the fucking straightedge bastard) had alcohol drinks...Baron lah, Vodka lah..whatever. saw Randy after 10273 years! he's cool. * anyway the Grindcore drunx then started their crazed mannerisms; laughing, squealing, scolding each other, making fun of strangers, irritating girls and all. fuck. it was funny though. * bumped into the SFOGS.com ppl at BK and sat down with them. could tell that KK and a couple of them were shocked/disgusted at the Grindcore Gang for their brash and well, drunk, behaviour. sorry people, but some people are just weird. hahaha. * we staggered down all the way to Dhoby Ghaut where we took the train. but fuck, Terence and Smot, with their all out drunkardness almost got us into a fight with a passing group of Matbengs. one of them i think is in my camp so that sort of gave me a sense of security. still, Matbengs dont forgive when provoked..fortunately we didnt cross paths. * at Dhoby Ghaut MRT Smot was still irritating so i and Kamal conspired with the rest to pile him up. and we did. all of us grabbed Smot and brought him to the ground and 7 OF US FUCKERS flattened him with our bodies. crazed fucking bastards us! hahahah! and just when we thought Smot got hurt and couldnt walk he suddenly got up and flung a DUSTBIN at us! bastard! we should have decapitated him! we chased him into the station controls...fuck its been such a crazy day! * the coolness didnt end on the train. first i bumped into Nizwar, who was asking me about...well i wont tell *grin*. then after i switched to the Eastward line, i saw a group of youths (probably cousins and siblings of each other) who were engaging in casual talk, when suddenly their baby sibling/cousin, who was obviously not happy at "big brother" jokes, stuck his middle fingers out. ALA STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! FUCKING COOL! * Rai Ko Ris comes down tomorrow! wooohooo!!!!! i want more days to be this fun! :-D ** PS: im not lying here..but Niza who i havent seen in eons, called me handsome! woohooo! and for some reason a few girls smiled at me, and looked at me diligently. i know i look like an onion so don't go around calling me handsome or giving me suggestive looks!!!!! **** PS II: Mat No finally got himself laid! YES! ALL THE WAY BRADER!!!!!!! :-D its about time he had one, he's a fucking nice guy man!

Saturday, March 30, 2002

12:28 a.m.

don't suffer in silence.
marchtwelve is just so good. so is My Precious. and luddite clone. and wartornation. and thoraic disruptor. * i am a...

Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley

Friday, March 29, 2002

12:37 p.m.

of mp3s and intense chats
got a lot of mp3s today...of october dagger, my precious and bigg's original hip hop score. fucking killer. * stacy's listening to Get Up Kids! my cousin is into emo punk indierock! hahahah! * had fun and funny chats with Smot, dinslife, berd and stefee just now on IRC and stacy on ICQ. in fact im just done chatting with stefee. chatting rocks my world.

Friday, March 29, 2002

03:29 a.m.

yesterday and today
yesterday -- after a long time, i felt emo again. blearugh. * fucking Hermantino irritating bastard keeps calling me that nickname again. maybe its retribution for the times i pumped him when he was a recruit. he's a singapore degil. puki punya anak haram! :P * the GD guys played catching today. freaky! imagine huge bodied tattooed freaks chasing one another violently! if that wasnt in camp, i think a lot of ppl would be calling the police. "Hello, police? i think got gangfight!!" hahaha! * the GD guys brought in a cute little puppy into camp. Encik didnt let them keep it. but it was so cute! ********|||||||||******** today --- sareena just called me from KL, asking about their gig this Saturday at 4ward Studios. im fucking excited! they're going to conquer Novena again! awesome! on the same day they play in JB, fuck shit fuck they're going to be really really drained! they must be tired and they will be tried on that day i guess so i hope there wont be any screw ups! * the C&R Refresher session was pretty okay. but fuck...after 6 months of slacking, jogging became a chore! but it was fun nonetheless.

Thursday, March 28, 2002

07:41 p.m.

you. she. them.
you denied me my ecstacy. you stripped me of my beloved. you have nullified whatever bits of hope that still linger in me. you stole her in front of my eyes and i just watched. i cried myself to bed many a time just thinking of what could have been. it also doesnt fucking help that you share the namesake of one of my close friends. * she. she was my hope and my fire. she was my inspiration and salvation. she was the shoulder i could cry on. now, will she be gone? * they. they never let me out of this condemned cell. they barely even fed me. they raped my mind with the monotony of their speech; their barren words.

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

11:03 p.m.

marchtwelve, my precious...oh fucking hell!
WOOOHOOO. 30 march Rai Ko Ris is BACK ! plus got Sundance Project, Dis_arm, Anaconda and other cooooooool bands performing at 4ward studios. yay because the 6th of april got one more power gig. yay-yay because 13th april got marchtwelve and my precious...the 2 holy bibles of local emo. yay as fuck because 20th april has tears of despair (brother berd's band) and the holy JAHILIA, also at 4ward. yaymyass because 27th has got mary cherry, kildonan and unvisual and i will miss it because of fucking DUTY. april will fly by fast. trust me.

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

12:16 a.m.

of love poems and crazy mobile cop tales
another interesting day. some dude on a bike with his girlfriend riding pillion came into camp today. a broken foot, speeding and on a scrambler. classic example of a Civil Defence guy. hahaha. then suddenly this traffic cop came horsing in. apparently the guy's speeding, but ironically he's in camp to make a new identity card. weirdo. * rained heavily when i was in my final shift duty...with scary lighting strikes nearby. fucking boon lay storms. * been catching up with cousin stacy past 2 days. she now looks like a britney spears/michelle branch hybrid. haha! * had a wayward haircut today, courtesy of the Pers guys. they can cut hair but the shaver had to screw up today of all days. i look like some kid fresh out of an Archie comic. * today's food has been filling.

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

11:46 p.m.

thoughts come.
carrie chong rocked as usual on radio today. well i was doing sentry duty, thats why i listened in. those who know me well know that i dont listen to radio. * first batch of recruits in Intake 83 to do guard duty today. hope it turns out fine. * Stefee is such an amazing, crazy person. she just never fails to amaze me. she's cool. probably punk as fuck too! hahaha

Monday, March 25, 2002

11:24 p.m.

random ramifications of obscure proportional proclamations
basket. GROWING UP rocked as usual. and so did that Tracey Tan. * talking to June, Stefee and Umi all one shot online. WOW. im actually messaging 3 girls at one go. never had that before. * June's got rad tattoos. and she remembered my ahoy (those who know me early IRC u'll remember). * Fee's as grrl as usual :-) * Umi turned out to be the sister of SITI MARIAM! my crush in sec school! ALAMAK! no wonder she looked so familiar...wah lau. there was a sad bit to this realization though...heard that Bing Yao (sic) this dude from my (our) sec school has passed away. motor accident. last year. * now im in a daze. * do u get me when i say that nothing boring ever happens in my life and thoughts?

Sunday, March 24, 2002

10:50 p.m.

Virtua Striker 3
i was so bored i had to go to the arcade. now for some reason, i get these 2 challengers on the Virtua Striker 3 game...2 guys. okay so no big deal. but these 2 guys have kids with them! dads playing arcade games are fucking cool, but i got really distracted being on the other end! i felt like "alamak sekali i win him, like dont feel good leh...he got child and all". didnt really make sense though but heck. * Sagat rocked as usual in Street Fighter, though i got knocked out eventually in the later stages. * Growing Up is on soon. its been sometime since i caught that! Tracey Tan fucking rocks! * i seem to have a penchant for grrls with both their name and surnames beginning with the same letter. Tracy Tan, Mandy Moore, Carrie Chong. hmmm...

Sunday, March 24, 2002

08:03 p.m.

i haven't been this bored since...
well i dunno. BORED. half of me wants to go out, the other half just wants to stay home. * stefee is out skating, and the Grindcore Gang is having an off day today..of all days! pundanaki.... * we'll see what happens at night

Sunday, March 24, 2002

04:17 p.m.

i am Harrison Ford?!

Which action filmstar are you? fucking pundek. of all actors i get compared to Harrison Ford! i dont even give a fuck about Star Wars! and Air Force One is cheesy!!!!!! why couldnt they call me something like Gurmit Singh or Mark Lee...utterly punk beng as fuck actors?! or that dude in Evil Dead. or...

Friday, March 22, 2002

01:45 p.m.

rock kapak rules
got back from camp. nothing really eventful. weekend is going to be burnt because of duty. talking to Rahmat now about Project Rock Kapak. Thamz is back online. the chicken and cheese sandwich i had just now for 80 fucking cents rocks my morning.

Friday, March 22, 2002

11:27 a.m.

1:28.
fabricate these desires. evaluate my fires. your presence breeds serenity; the gist of simplicity. i adore your very existence, petrified becomes my innocence. erased the horrors of past, hence portraying my lust. these cries are unheard, despite my volumes so absurd. will you guide me through this mist, heal this inner nihilist? i see us enveloping, caressing and loving. fantastic it may seem, may this be but only a dream?

Thursday, March 21, 2002

01:27 a.m.

rise and shine
good morning. i just woke up. Nid paged me asking whether im meeting him. maybe i am. i probably am, since im preparing the L2N "Save Our Singlish" tapes. * aaron's band just fucking rips. * i miss her. * whatever.

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

12:07 p.m.

archived
i supposedly archived this whole thing so that you can read my older entries on a separate window. hope this works

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

02:48 a.m.

::if punk ever mattered to you::
::Guessbuuk, Guestbook, Gasbook::
Older Entries.
::Pityriasis Rosea::