trashkore@yahoo.com

Steve Towson
SFOGS.com?
lala
site of the month!!!
bleaurgh!
casual banter :-)

yes call me a fucking coward because thats what i am, you prick
you know what, you depress me. i dont care if you ever read this, you are a self important prick who puts himself over others. and i wont say it to you, not yet because you have shown over the years that you were never accepting of harsh criticism. ive protected your ass and always looked out for you but you treated my feelings like shit. you call me insensitive, if i am so what are you. you have a short temper, and your're strong (no that wasnt a praise thats a fact) and when i say something im just afraid you'll blow up like what happened the other day. but just remember who took the shit for you that night a few months back. * the first time, you looked on and did nothing. the second time you did what i never imagined you would do. but i guess there wont be a third time. if there ever was i think i would raise all my hell and anguish on you. and i dont fucking care because you dont.

i say blue you say green
was with the cousins just now. met in town headed to beach road cos nadia was looking for a sling bag and stacy for army shirts. i think they got a bit shocked at the ultra cheap price. * chilled at lorong ah soo just now. nothing much watched tv and hung out with the relatives. not something i do everyday huh. haha. my cousins on the paternal side are a bit 'liberated' which makes for good conversation. * winning eleven drove me crazy just now. its just a fucking video game. * i should stop making friends because somehow everyone seems to be connected to one another. i feel like the tip of a tripod stand. * word is Anita Mui passed away like 3 hours ago. Rest In Peace.

say you love satan...
...and suck my cock while your at it. whore. muahahahha! * so the year is coming to and end. usually this time of year i'll be depressed for reasons unsure. but this year flew by real fast. some parts of me still think its 2002. * dont know where i will countdown, or if i will. i know that its going to be a few more countdowns to look forward to. once i reach the 3 decade line, i'll probably be fucking depressed and go "oh shit. im 30. im fucking 30". still...thats a long way to go. will cross the bridge when i come to it. * happy new year!

back!
so...the tour was a fucking blast. will be writing the tour report soon. in zerox though. :) had some hiccups, some weird moments, some crazy moments but it was plentiful in the fun element. * just woke up from a 10 hour slumber, the best gift you could ever have post tour. the weekend was spent going to hideout and meeting nadia and stacy for dinner. * i bought DIDO - Life for rent on the good ol' cassette format in Bangkok. fucking hell. i would fall for ANYONE who could sing and soothe my nerves like she does. and ive only listened to Side A.

its time to kick south east asian butt!
hello. wont be in singapore for most of december. leaving for KL tomorrow for the steve towson tour (see link for more info).

Tour Agenda

1st leg ::: 6 Dec - Kuala Lumpur. 7 Dec - Johor Bahru. 8 Dec - Singapore (Basement Bash, see below). 9 Dec - REST. 10 Dec - Hideout. (31b Circular Rd. 3rd floor. 10pm set! NO COVER CHARGES.)

*tour takes a break*

2nd leg ::: 13 Dec - Bangkok. 14 Dec - Bangkok. 15-19 Dec - ITS TIME FOR A FUCKING HOLIDAY 20th Dec - Terengganu.

it says that i am eligible for ERS. fucking awesome.

Basement Bash! 8 December 2003.
get this date down folks. one of the best gigs to ever hit the local 'scene' in recent years.

Basement Bash. 8 Dec. Monday. Woodlands CC Basement. Features Cohol (heavy sludgy stuff, Japan), Tiala (screaming violence, Japan), Gauge Means Nothing (intense emo,Japan), Steve Towson (anarcho acoustico, Australia), My Precious (screamcore), Fallen World (grindcore), Secret 7 (faaaaastcore). 4 foreign artistes. and really foreign. not some international school kids posing as a foreign band. (hint hint. i am referring to one particular band). and 3 awesome local acts. for $5. at 4pm. so what if the show is on Monday. you're having touring bands with a schedule to follow. and by the way, hardcore punk is not for weekends only what. * see you there i hope.

R.I.P. - Road Warrior Hawk
shit. another wrestler death. this time its Michael Hegstrand aka the Road Warrior Hawk. of the legendary - and my favourite tag team ever - LEGION OF DOOM. i wonder, since the deaths of countless wrestlers (Owen Hart, Kurt Hennig, etc), what would all them WWE Superstars be thinking. wrong career move maybe? my theory is that with the endless batterings and super high levels of energy involved with the sport, the body will cease to function after some time. lets just hope Brock Lesnar lives till 40 then. though i hate his "character" now.

realm of malevolence
so i'm typing this and i heard a wicked laugh at the window. it sounded eerie. then i realized it was my neighbour. * just replaced the main plug which gives life to this computer. apparently the old one fused and dad had to change it. and somehow this comp rebooted. im no comp genius so i wonder what the fuck went on when them icons become 5 times its size. and i think this computer is running in a rather simple mode. anyone know about resolutions and stuff? * work has been ok. the gang has been cool too surprisingly. working with Mats but everyone's cool. but thats probably because everyone is new to each other and we dont interact outside work. i'd rather keep it that way for the Enam Jahanam. which is me, yazid (aka bob), ashari, zaimi (aka kecik), hassim and razali (aka jali). and i'd rather keep it that way. just weeks away from the steve towson tour. woohoo!

emo is...
reading back old zerox issues and wanting to laugh. * off day today. work has been fun, ever since i became a "float". which means i have a different job everyday. polishing the steel bits of the windows, wiping dust off marble, carrying king sized beds from one floor to the other, clearing and emptying rubbish chutes and even working for 3 hours in the flower shop with 1 auntie and 2 potential aunties! aiyoh. * bumped into a lot of people yesterday. rai; on my way to work. jali; at work. liz (yes she's alive); on my way home from work. i lay on my bed at 11 with the intention of going back online at midnight and i fell asleep. i woke up 1 hour ago. 12 hour slumbers. on a weeknight. that makes me lucky.

back to back
ok wow. 2 days. 2 movies. back to back. yesterday i planned to watch 15. until nissa called. and so we met up to chill. caught matchstick men in the end. fucking good plot with a huge twist at the end which you wouldnt understand if you werent paying attention. she then surprised me with an impromptu birthday cake from coffee bean. well its a small thing but what the hell when people do that it means a lot to me! melted! hahhaa. thanks nissa, if you ever read this :). * then i watched 15 alone just now. i would love to have given it a 10 upon 10 (bengdom rocks!) but i must say while it was a good effort, it was a bit over-rated. some parts were out of the blue comic-timing and some parts were impossibly unrealistic. and they censored a lot of other shit too. and what is an ahbeng movie if they dont have the god damn ahlians? i would give it a 7. which means while i would watch it again, i would rather not. * yes, gold or blonde streaks look real good with tanned skin.

back to back
ok wow. 2 days. 2 movies. back to back. yesterday i planned to watch 15. until nissa called. and so we met up to chill. caught matchstick men in the end. fucking good plot with a huge twist at the end which you wouldnt understand if you werent paying attention. she then surprised me with an impromptu birthday cake from coffee bean. well its a small thing but what the hell when people do that it means a lot to me! melted! hahhaa. thanks nissa, if you ever read this :). * then i watched 15 alone just now. i would love to have given it a 10 upon 10 (bengdom rocks!) but i must say while it was a good effort, it was a bit over-rated. some parts were out of the blue comic-timing and some parts were impossibly unrealistic. and they censored a lot of other shit too. and what is an ahbeng movie if they dont have the god damn ahlians? i would give it a 7. which means while i would watch it again, i would rather not. * yes, gold or blonde streaks look real good with tanned skin.

21.
im fucking 21. at last. but life was fast. i still remember my fucking primary school days. * goreng pisang rocks, marriage is bullshit and steph song is cute. * i received a phone call. and i wish it was a wrong number.

phobia or paranoia
i think ive developed another POP (phobia or paranoia). the fear of unnecessary machines. another one to add to my POP of rotten fruits, flying cockroaches and balloons. * hate it when someone praises me and then disappears without me knowing who the fuck he/she is or meant.

if only...
fuck. fuck fuck fuck. another dismal result for arsenal. now we might not get to the 2nd phase in the champions league. if only toure's 92nd minute effort had been tamer, it would have struck the underside of the bar and gone in, instead of bouncing out like it did. if only we beat Moscow the other time round. now we need to win all 3 remaining games to clinch at least 2nd spot. if only it was that easy. sigh. * work later. sian.

fuck george bush
so that asshole is in town. and everything has to be changed so that he can have a good time here. whatever. fuck all this shit. * ez link prices going up. fuck this place. no wonder there are many depressed fucks lying around. and im not talking about angsty teenagers. im talking about people the age of you and your moms and dads.

haggle baggle
rach chalet over the weekend was cool. fri nite was spent eating and eating the bbq food, and i had a good sleep. woke up with a heavy chest though, and i though i heard knocks on the window. i was sleeping alone and the mirror in the room looked creepy. what the hell. * left for a while on saturday to jam and run errands and went back. a lot of playstation fun too. happy birthday rach and tosh! :) * channel i movies rock.

techno
this is fucking cool. click on the techno link

movement
yesterday was okay. spent the night at Forum with Brian, Terence, Samdin and his girlfriend. didnt catch her name. we just talked and talked, about the upcoming recording. and politics. haha! thats new. i cant remember the last time me and Terence talked so immensely about politics. missed the last Nightrider. how pathetic. took the first train home.

i read your personal blog. and please for once stop thinking that everything i wrote was about us. or you. or me for that matter. i was just agreeing to what you said about that stupid american show on tv. and not that last line. you jolly well know who you are.

hail satan?
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

wanted to go to zouk today. but izzar is missing. and no way im going to pay to get in. the most i'd pay is 10 bucks, 15 the most, and its got to be really good shit, like hardcore drum & bass, or doomy ambient, or just a fucking crazed rave. yes im still straightedge lest you're wondering. why? straightedge cannot club ah?

fuck.
fuck this. fuck all this society pressure shit. fuck marriages because half of them dont work out and that doesnt even includes those which are able to keep going due to social factors. fuck you. i used to respect you. and hell i still do. but what did you do that for? fuck you too because you made all this possible. stop fucking crying. i hate it when that happens. people who cry turn the tables around. fuck this shit. fuck. puasa and hari raya is coming. and you know what, i dont care because those fuckers who celebrate it are hypocrites to begin with.

i yearn to hear Harakiri's "The day she fell" again.

i just want to fuck shit up.

...
did i say 1-1? sorry it was a goalless draw btwn Man U and Arsenal

and justice for all...
fuck. i cannot keep still. still restless after watching the Man U - Arsenal game. drew 1-1. pretty intense. not much goalmouth action but a lot of tension everywhere. the coffeeshop was half United supporters, the rest were punters, neutrals. and i think less than 5 Arsenal supporters. van Nistelrooy got Vieira send off. i was pissed by then. almost resorted to throwing my 60˘ bottle of minyak kapak at the tv screen. cheebai. then to make matters worse, United "earned" a penalty in the dying seconds of the game. and it was as if Justice finally did its job. the ball struck the bar. muhahahahaha. i was elated. and cheering. probably the only one cheering besides that gambling ah pek. it was crazy when vieira got sent off. it nearly became a brawl. and at the final whistle it was almost a free for all. Martin Keown jumped in jubilation and INTENTIONALLY landed his arm onto Nistelrooy's head. and Ashley Cole and Bisan Lauren did their thuganomics stuff hitting and cursing the man. crazy. im not happy with the result nor am i disappointed. but its great to know Arsenal are a family. the blood runs red indeed.

went with Berd to visit Apis just now. Berd was shocked at how thin Apis became. but its great. we chatted, played games and had fun. about 1 hour plus at his place. Apis if yr reading this, get well soon man! take care. anything call.

last week was the 1 year "anniversary" of the late Syed Razikin. rest in peace bro. in loving memory.

heart pain. heart fucking pain sial.
cheebai. its half time now. watching the arsenal game against inter milan. fucking 3-0. WE ARE DOWN 3-0. at home. fuck. we played well. had a lot of flair. until they scored. fuck. credit to inter though, all great goals. opportunism and precision in one package. that Martins guy from Nigeria, is a fucking YP. only 18 and he scored. argh. this is why we never ruled europe. no matter who played well, we were never able to defend properly. this is passion. this is emo. this is passion. this is emo. argh.

heart pain. heart fucking pain sial.
cheebai. its half time now. watching the arsenal game against inter milan. fucking 3-0. WE ARE DOWN 3-0. at home. fuck. we played well. had a lot of flair. until they scored. fuck. credit to inter though, all great goals. opportunism and precision in one package. that Martins guy from Nigeria, is a fucking YP. only 18 and he scored. argh. this is why we never ruled europe. no matter who played well, we were never able to defend properly. this is passion. this is emo. this is passion. this is emo. argh.

golden axe
last saturday i bought a toy axe. fell in love with it the moment i saw it. $3.95. i dont know why i bought it but i freaking love it. it looks straight up fake. oh well. the science of infatuation. * been taking Norway in Winning 11. been my most fruitful team so far. i seem to win more than i ever did than when i took Ukraine or Turkey. i take the underdogs because it makes you improve with not-so-good players on your team sheet. * L(II)N session was great. after 1 year nothing seems to have changed. which is fantastic. the chemistry was there, and so were the fucked up attitudes of everyone. hahaha! cant wait to record.

disenchantement contagieux
so. i went to Yasmine's birthday for a while just now. deliver some food, chilled out before i went to the kiosk. Yasmine is my 12 yr old cousin. and her siblings Natasha (10) and Harris (6 probably). and they're into Avril Lavigne and commercial punkrock. wow. my time, no PERSON seemed to be into rock music at that age. maybe rock kapak for the mats but oh well...times have changed. Natasha also has got chain wallet. oh my god. i realized ALL my female cousins have not-so-malay names. Yasmine, Natasha, Nadia, Annastacia aka Stacy and believe or not, Shakira. who is probably 6 too. the guys have all mat names. hahaha! * by some stroke of bad luck no one seemed to be free today. until i called bob and he's on for jamming. great. now thats good luck. L(II)N have not jammed since last year. fuck. im excited as hell. * HUMAN GREED rules.

alamaks
because you see. i finally changed my pillowcase and bedsheet. well not really. i removed them with the intention of replacing them but when i got home from work, father did the job for me. ace. i love my dad. * so the packages have arrived. fuck. THE DATE FORK SEEPS THE RIVER. it's actually in my hands now. an unbelievable compilation of over 60 idiots making/manipulating stupid/domestic sounds and getting on vinyl. no joke. fuck. awesome. limited to 200 so get it folks. another item to add to the Lead II Nitrate and HANYEWKWANG discography. i am so proud and happy. my enemies will be so envious. the guy who put that out has a site. and it's now the new SITE OF THE MONTH. take warning. he's nuts. i love you brent.

boom
so. its sept 11. stupid american fucking propaganda. * i was just thinking. about him. no i'm not gay. and im not implying anything about any cute guy or whatever. him. i came between him and someone precious to him. i still feel this guilt. i feel fucking bad. because he is a nice guy. i just hope he doesnt become a dick because i was a dick to him. a part of me wanted to leave at that moment of time. the other was frustrated and so deeply infatuated that i ended up giving in to the latter instinct. and fought for her. no i'm not feeling emo or anything. far from that. guilt. fucking guilt. argh. i just wish i could just go up to him, say sorry and let him beat me up as much as he wants to. at least i can move on with a clear(er) conscience. argh.

overcoming the odds
i watched One Leg Kicking just now. my 3rd time. fucking good show. i mean, seriously. it may come across as a silly soccer comedy thing but there really are deep underlying meanings. from the class divide, to misaligned school-education systems, to subtle lessons on how to finance a movie, and a bleak reminder of the painful whip of corporate supremacy. of course there were slapstick moments, and some "nampak sah bedek" bits but deep down it's a fucking good show.

2 hours of soccer at TP just now after the movie plan with Rai didnt happen. the playing surface was wet and the ball was unseasoned so it was a bit "heavy" playing with the Breadboard guys. if only it was hot and we used the cock up ball. which isnt cock up at all. i scored 3. not bad for an unfit unskillful nerd like me.

i msged practically everyone i know who was in TP and Edleweiss and Celeste responded. the latter was on attachment, the rest probably died. hahaha. but Edle met up with me and joined the Breadboard kids for a brief "dinner" before she left. she seems so stressed now with her 2nd year commitments. fucking crazy that poly can stress anyone up to that extent. aiyoh. im proud to be a drop out.

heaven's a lie
that was jas' topic on her channel just now. so i had to act as a smart ass and change it to "the irony in heaven is that it's hell just trying to get there". its insane trying to be "good" and keeping up to the standards set by the so called church (or mosque or temple or wherever you worship) and state. its just not possible. a lot of people who are pious and are politicians are assholes. imagine going to heaven and meeting George Bush. i'd rather go to hell and hang out with Joey Ramone anytime baby.

one two one two
not everyone is insane. some people just need a little more understanding.

good morning. im checking email, and surfing the web. at 10 freaking am. wanted to sleep more but couldnt.

hey you. read your blog. ohfuckanadenism... dont tell me you said yes to his "request"? then again, if you did what can i do anyway. maybe whine and sulk. heh.

song of the morning - "Sitting round at home", GORILLA BISCUITS

elation is...
...going through your cupboard and finding all your favourite old tapes. fuck. i found my old tapes! Iron Maiden, Bruce Dickinson, Metallica, even the great SEARCH!! oh man.

last night i dreamt about the past
so. i was lying in bed wondering if Rai would call back. she didnt. so i went to sleep. zzzz. * i dreamt i was at this performance thing. looked some some lame school event with dance items and all that. then they had a distro table. fucking weird. with cds, zines and tapes. and i dreamt that The Past was there. i first met her 4 years ago and somehow or someway she still lingers. argh. and in the dream we were fucking making out. in front of our friends some more. what the hell. and then after the event everyone left. i was at this overhead bridge waiting for someone when this bunch of upper middle class snobs appeared, preparing for some march at the carpark. what the fuck? then this bunch of "working class" skinheads came along and one of them challenged the group to a fight. crazy. one of them joined me on the bridge and we made friends. then it rained. then i woke up. what the fuck was that all about? * When Harry Met Sally is a fucking good movie.

beach bench politics
had to work today. but i made a killing. woopee! can pay the July bills at last. * night went to meet smot, jaliboy and yan at east coast. they had their mild drinking session and banter. revolved around social issues today. interesting. * i miss her. argh.

knnbccb
fuck. woke up with endless sneezes. something must be wrong with my pillowsheets. or bed. or i indeed have some nose malfunction. took the yello tablet thing because i couldnt fucking take the constant sneezing. its fucking irritating. * woke up and accompanied father to Yishun where he was taking videos for some malay wedding. he needed a bit of "manpower". still reeling from the medication though. * after that went to borders for the meeting. ooooh yeah. 2004 seems ace. * chilled with zan terence and berd outside borders until 1130pm. the train ride was fun. there was this drunk mat who had a Venom and Misfits patch on his bag and he actually took out a fucking toothbrush in his drunken stupor and brushed his teeth. fucking funny. his friend was grinning like an idiot. hahahaa. but it was cool. * the uncool part was when i reached into my mailbox, found a starhub letter, cursed, then opened it. so i owe them $221++ for 2 months. fucking need to cut down on those SMSes. argh. i never really exceed my "call" limit, even the incoming ones outside the free period cost less than 30 bucks or so. affordable. but the sms. CHEEBAI. i can't complain and bitch about the system because its not their fault. not this time anyway. still. argh. * nak mandi. bye.

the idiot speaks
fuck. i shouldnt be too impulsive. my remarks are usually too immediate. whether its a rebutt to someone, or making a choice in academia or just fucking deciding what to eat, i dont stop and think. argh. fuck that previous entry. sincere apologies from me. and i'm not going to complicate anything with the ifs and the buts. not on this blog at least.

Goh called just now. fucking assholes at camp again. i have officially ORDed and i still hate those assholes. stupid lazy racist backstabbing swindling Mats. its a fucking jungle out there. pity him. he ORDs in March next year. ever since i left those motherfuckers have tried again and again to bring him down. argh. fuck. yes i'm malay too. big fucking deal. assholes are assholes regardless of ethnicity.

think im gonna listen to music now.

the fall of silent hill
i wonder what made you reach those conclusions. you didnt have to agree if you didnt want to. i dont think i should apologize, because i dont know if you would even care anyway. hell. before, during and after, i see you as the same (insert praise here) person. oh well. i think we should have a chill period. if it makes things better. and while i might not really be over it, i am trying. and in case you're wondering, you havent been any less of a friend. talk to you soon.

the "shitalking with OB" column in HaC #38 made my day today.

like moths to the flame
went to the shop. with the stuff mother told me to buy. then when i reached downtown east mother called. and told me "eh i buy for you makan oredi tau?". sia lah. i didnt expect mother to be at the shop. so i went. then my mom told me i could go home if i wanted. after a slight hassle, i did. and called din sxetan. asked if he was game for winning eleven. he was. unfortunately because i told him "tak jadi" earlier in the morning, the rest of the breadboard kids went off liao. fuck. * so i went to potong pasir with my dad's playstation. we played 6 games at first. he took england and spain. i took ukraine and turkey. we won 3 games each but he won on aggregate. still we played a 7th game to make it "clean". but i won. ok wow. so i won. looking forward to friday when the rest will be around. if not winning eleven then maybe soccer. or even ubin.

met the ex girlfriend at tampines just now. didnt really plan to but we did. it was a literally quiet affair. but we're still cool. we walked around a bit and didnt talk much. nutcase. then i realized she could be in deep thought. the world doesnt seem to exist once she's like that. and indeed. i think she was. oh well. thanks you for coming to accompany me just now.

i just realized that Kamal looks a lot like that Han Yew Kwang guy. no not the dude in the indie film circuit. just that noisy ex classmate of mine.

Bon Jovi rules.

racecar reads the same backwards
the week looks packed. today : work. tomorrow : work. fuck. hahaa. friday : work. but half day. night will probably be with the Breadboard kids. or the grindcore gang. guy's night out sucka! * jane just called and asked if i was ok. of course i am. rach did the same thing too last night and i gave the same answer. really nice to find out people still gave a fuck. * be meeting the crazy ex girlfriend next week. i hope. :P * my fucking armpit stinks like hell.

"can we measure the vast length of time? can we lick fire, or drink our blood with ice? as we begin this voyage what awaits us? can we swim through the storm, and can we survive the drought? can we grasp the sky, and string it together? then why do you insist on utopia?" - Couting Water, REMEMORIES

splashy splash splash
had to wake up in the moring cursing the fact that it's another groundhog day. then i helped my mom to buy stuff to stock up the snacks and drinks for the kiosk. then left for tampines. * was with the breadboard kids at jurong sports cplx just now. fucking fun. played water. and i think none of them guessed i'm a non swimmer. it was fun riding the waves. * went to lucky plaza after tt for dinner. had nasi lemak and carrot cake with some hot tea for good measure. * the guys played pool after that while i slept. yes. sit on floor. head on arm. arm on chair. zzzz. * band of the day - FINGERPRINT.

lying in the middle.
yes. the rumour is true. i DID get attached. with who? none of your business. if you know, you know. and don't tell anyone. and guess what? we just broke up. and guess what more? i don't feel anguished. not to say i am happy though. love you baby.

govindaraju
fucking sien saturday. the guys were either at WOMAD, on duty, clubbing, or somewhere raping lizards. so that left me zan and terence for the day. * had a proper jam just now. cool. and we had an all grrl band jam after us as well. great. hope to see more grrls active in the scene. * so it was 3 fucked up bespectacled assholes making countless inside jokes at city hall and orchard road. fucking hell. but it was fun. * bumped into Hosni and Bat on the train. and made friends with one of their friends Jihan. i told him his name would be great if it was Jihad. heh. *

"ahhhh sini!"
was bored out of my wits. until din responded to my sms. was at TP playing soccer. well not exactly. i wasnt really playing. sure i was involved in the kick about but all i did was call for the ball and shoot. like i always play. brings back secondary school memories when me and "Kengkang" had a great striker-midfielder partnership. he would pump those crosses and i would tap the ball in. anyway the kick about was fun. i scored a goal. felt good because i didnt faint after 30 minutes like i expected. hahaha. * then chilled out with the Breadboard kids. fucking cool bunch them. might be at Ubin with them next week. woohoo!. * off the phone with Rai. she was telling me about this book by some guy (whatshisname?) called STOP THINKING AND START LIVING. which is actually a fucking cool idea. something i always wanted to do (i think a bit too much sometime which explains some of the gloominess that i seem to have) but wasnt able to. * talked to edleweiss for a while too after months of not meeting/chatting/talking to her. life. is. crazy.

remember memory
i was just listening back to the Rememories recordings and i was overwhelmed. not to say we were fucking good or tight but the fact that a lot of soul was poured into those recordings made it seem all worthwhile. * Brock Lesnar teaming up with Vince? that's sick. but i still love the F5. * the Playstation beckons. bye!

in love with insanity
haiyoh. crazy if they found out about this. anyway. * went to Velocet yesterday after the audition. chilled with faizal and bob and watched HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. fucking killer cool psycho stoner twisted movie about this nutcase family who kills for fun. you probably watched it anyway so what the hell. * Bach's shop is open. cool shit. he even has his own brand. morbid.ink. cool. bought 2 tapes from the 2nd/3rd/1938hand tape rack. STOMPIN' GROUND's "Measured By The Richter Scale" full length which i lost (YEAH!!!!) and the BLACK SABBATH Tribute Part 1. Nativity In Black. argh. fucking cool shit. * you're so honest its sweet, sick and unbelievable. i love you. i know you're going to say "BAH!". hehe. sengaja.

jagged visions of my true destiny
you are a dream come true. seriously. and i hope i dont wake up. figuratively. * you like screamo? i do too. -smiles-

"it's not maggi. its zow-zow"
tomyam flavoured instant noodles rock. as does curry ones. * talked to Jane on the phone just now. been really fucking long since we last talked or met. caught up on old times. the "idiot. welcome" thing still stands. she's busy with school. poor her. * friends. acquaintances. if you meant something to me at some point in my life, then you will ALWAYS be in my heart. yada yada yada. but thats true. * been 3 weeks. happy 3 weeks i guess? see you soon.

here comes the pain
so. im watching wrestling. i know its all manufactured and bullshit. BUT THE HAZARDS ARE REAL. haha. Brock Lesnar somehow inspires me. i really love the F5. easy to execute. but fucking deadly. if you're strong enough that is. the last guy who made me crazy about wrestling was Razor Ramon. and before that the Ultimate Warrior. * i love power violence. * True Files. 21st Oct. that episode. 21st October. watch it.

east coast beach and thai food
yesterday chilled at east coast beach with rai. talked nonsense. did crazed stuff. but it was fun. the wind was blowing smack in our faces. we made the most out of a crab. haha. we were asking each other the whys and hows and what ifs. pretty engaging conversations. sometimes straying into even more engaging conversations. was fun. * was at jasmine's just now. she cooked some food. there was some leftover and she gave me some. rocking. chicken whatever and long bean chilli paste stuff. with rice. kick ass. we then watched MTV with videos of neu-rock bands. bah. had milo peng. * i decorated my new $1 cap.

rabbits are idiots for understanding lovers.
bangers and hangers on. * dreamt i had a great sexual encounter with an asian nudist yesterday. dont know who she was. an oriental-javanese mix or something. but it was fun. we did it doggy style and more. in the middle of my house. which looked a lot bigger and definitely different. and lots and lots of fetish. * need a job. that stupid girl didnt answer my call. she is my WINDOW to that security job. i know. don't laugh. me? security? i know. i said don't laugh.

Arrepentido si necesité ser. lo ama. lo pierde.

chronicles
so. hanging out with steve towson had been fun. knew him since last year and the past 2 days were the only times i actually hung out and had fun. yesterday was just me and him in the day, and by some weird coincidence bumped into so many people. from Fahddly, a guy from camp to Junwei, an ex-classmate whom i fought with a lot in school. that "pendek" from triple noize, that punjabi looking girl i always bump into on the way home, amok and mus...so many lah. then evening had terence join us before munir popped by at Vrykosound. then brian joined us. nothing really interesting but not too boring either. its fun hanging out and talking. * was out with steve again just now, but with emman around too. talked about shooting an experimental video with just steve playing the guitar and me adding one of his songs in the final edit. was fun. bumped into Jiji whom i have not seen for very long. more than 2 years i think. before i even enlisted. crazy. she's doing theater arts now. way cool. she always had that catty ahlian look which drove guys crazy. and she still does.hahaha...! might catch up with her again someday. it's nice bumping into friends. steve said that while he was not a chick magnet, he was a bump-into-old-friends magnet. made sense. he must have been a prophet 203930 years ago. * had zan around after that. emman leaves on sunday. oh fuck. would miss him. even though i tease him all the time. met up with smotties for a while before we seperated again to go to orchard road. where brian and terence are. they said there were at Two Thumbs. but they didnt tell me it was the pub. cheh. i die-die thought it was the parlour. then shafa joined us. we basically bummed the whole day throughout but hey at least we got the video.

chronicles
so. hanging out with steve towson had been fun. knew him since last year and the past 2 days were the only times i actually hung out and had fun. yesterday was just me and him in the day, and by some weird coincidence bumped into so many people. from Fahddly, a guy from camp to Junwei, an ex-classmate whom i fought with a lot in school. that "pendek" from triple noize, that punjabi looking girl i always bump into on the way home, amok and mus...so many lah. then evening had terence join us before munir popped by at Vrykosound. then brian joined us. nothing really interesting but not too boring either. its fun hanging out and talking. * was out with steve again just now, but with emman around too. talked about shooting an experimental video with just steve playing the guitar and me adding one of his songs in the final edit. was fun. bumped into Jiji whom i have not seen for very long. more than 2 years i think. before i even enlisted. crazy. she's doing theater arts now. way cool. she always had that catty ahlian look which drove guys crazy. and she still does.hahaha...! might catch up with her again someday. it's nice bumping into friends. steve said that while he was not a chick magnet, he was a bump-into-old-friends magnet. made sense. he must have been a prophet 203930 years ago. * had zan around after that. emman leaves on sunday. oh fuck. would miss him. even though i tease him all the time. met up with smotties for a while before we seperated again to go to orchard road. where brian and terence are. they said there were at Two Thumbs. but they didnt tell me it was the pub. cheh. i die-die thought it was the parlour. then shafa joined us. we basically bummed the whole day throughout but hey at least we got the video.

khoonz
had 2 dreams. first was a family feud. this particular bunch of relatives (not immediate...distant. like an aunt's cousin's family or some shit like that) didnt like mine. some class or wealth status shit. or whatever. and i was the one telling them off. in real life they are what i stand against. squeaky clean morally uptight pieces of shit. hahaha... * second was the Rememories crew moved into a condo. a rumah bujang. bachelor's pad. ala my friends up in KL. we were probably the first to move in because there was construction debris everywhere. the corridor looked cramped. like a side staircase of some building. the door was open. and we didnt go inside. because we were busily chatting outside. what the fuck? * can't wait to start jamming. with any of my bands.

pick a chord and go twang
fuck.

the performance went well just now, despite me having just one rehearsal. Danny called sometime in the afternoon to congratulate me. it was really really encouraging. i admire and respect him a lot, so when he told me i was good just fucking made my day.

steve towson rocked the house just now. awesome. fucking awesome. * as stuck up as this sounds, i think my life is so insane, its almost criminal. i still am a good boy but i think i have quite an interesting life. my diary entries would be really stupefying. * someone bought me a flower. some actually fucking did that. thank you. * so my dad complained of this ache in the knee and as usual wanted me to massage that area a little. i was anxious over something just now, and he saw that. and never bothered me. ace. i love my dad. *

my life is bedlam. fucking bedlam.

i never knew i was even remotely intelligent
Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 123. A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 111-128 is considered to be "above average intelligence".

- after i took the Yahoo! IQ test. this made my day. im not so dumb after all. *grin*

if
if americans are rednecks and stupid, then singaporeans must be unforgivable for sucking up to them

people suck

i love red bean buns and traditional kaya toast. with butter please!

Remains of the Day are good.

length of time...
"he is in wonder. what will happen next? he is deeply in love with about half a decade his senior. she is changing his perceptions of life, and for the better. she however has other plans. he thinks she feels for him. albeit in a small way. he KNOWS he feels for her, in a big way. his pendulum of hope swings with equal force, in both ways. he loves her. he wants her. she knows it. they both know it. but the future will change her life. if they end up with each other, and tragedy occurs, would it be a case of too late? it was all about her. if only things werent so complicated. if only the answers and circumstances were as clear as the water they both drank.

but he is distracted. by a wheel of immense fire. the Other is now in the picture. the Other might now give him the breath and the fuel he has longed for all this while. he is caught in two dimensions. he is frail. he is cursive. he is in wonder."

"Anatomy". written at 0111 hrs. 4 August. 2003.

10 hours of sleep makes me a whack boy
so Dumpy's friend Anna dropped by singapore from KL on thursday. i met up with her to keep her company in her 12 hour transit. she should be somewhere in Jakarta now. helped her with accomodation (thanks a bunch Jasmine) and boat info. the DIY hcpunk conspiracy works, you dont need hotels and formalities to have travelling fun.

went to Potong Pasir and the Cedar/Sennett area with Emilda yesterday. for nostalgic purposes since both of us used to live and study in that area. fucking ace place. and we both agreed that the area had a morbid gloom to it though. the night i chilled with the rest of the KL Klan which comprised of myself, small zan, munir, smot and izzar. we did nothing but sat down and talked cock. i was too tired.

Dagda from Ireland is a fucking good band.

the inner nihilist speaks...
would never fit into your lifestyle. not hers. not his. not theirs. and not yours. this is not directed to anyone person but definitely a few of you who are reading this blog. how much longer do you intend to let hypocrisy and selfishness take over your lives? your lives are expensive and boring, and pales in comparison to the even the homeless vagabond you once ignored. * music is a good tool. for all sorts of emotions and time frames. but assholes just have to fuck it up with rockstar attitudes. * because of Jasmine i'm now a carrot cake addict. * show gratitude. say thank you. smile. and appreciate the good times. and learn from the bad times. life's too short sucker. * Steve Towson showcase next Friday. woohoo! * sometimes i wished money fell from the sky.

"i don't always know where i stand...only that i still can" - STILL LIFE
fuck. awesome or what. i just received the original press of the STILL LIFE 6 song EP "slow children at play and beyond" from Brad on his old label Rhetoric. a split release with The Sunflower Tribe. fucking ace stuff. take the serene uneasiness of Sunny Day Real Estate with the depressive melancholy of Fingerprint. yes. fuck! yes. * the new friend i made a few weeks ago seems to help me more than i ever imagined. basing her idea of life against mine, i find myself studying my deeper, less explored retrospects. am i growing up? alamak. haha... * she's read Zerox zine too. no one outside of the scene reads my zine within a few weeks of knowing me. good friend. good person. she's a Pisces. thank you.

formulate. disintergrate.
been a crazy 2 weeks. not even going to begin describing how whack it has been. i think i should compile a book on the interesting experiences i've had in life. seriously. * thrashed Jab at winning 11 yesterday. then chilled at the Tampines S-11 before having other weirdoes join us. from this dude called Ng to this chubby kid Hairie. then that mad Jasmine (hehe) and Emilda. food was good. and the kayatoast will rip you apart. amazing. * was at "work" just now when i bumped into shah of all people. fuck! crazy. a bloody coincidence. we then chilled in the area and had a short walk arnd town after that. aisha was nearby so we met up with her, with one of her "aeroplanez" buds whose name i dont seem to remember. * puppies are punk.

life's a challenge
Unrelenting strange and full of contrasts often egoistic aggressive noble broad horizon unexpected reactions spontaneous unlimited ambition no flexibility difficult and uncommon partner not always liked but often admired ingenious strategist very jealous and passionate no compromises.

ok so thats what i got from pressanykey.com with regards to my birthdate. been a while since i updated this. anyway i'm fine. still intact. more ambitious definitely. still having the occassional gloomy outlook in life though. but then that's karma. * went to the esplanade today with the guys to chill. they had their drinking session again there. i didnt drink of course (straight edge bastard alert!) but it's fun hanging out. * have big dreams. and the next few years will be spent trying to achieve it.

ORD LOH!!!!!!!!!
YES. ORD LOH! GOT MY PINK I/C BACK! FUCK! WOOOOHOOOO

shaiful Magic Number 19 Job Sporting Great Personality Focussed And Driven Temperament An Oft-Exploding Volcano Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever Likely To Win Nothing Me - In A Word Evil Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

KL!
HELLO. wont be in singapore from now until 9th June Monday. be relaxing in KL. awesome!

sprinkled water
so the guys in camp all know that Teo from Mess is missing. some said he's on MC, some said he's AWOL, but apparently there's this hush hush "truth" that he was murdered. in the recent gangfight in town which was reported in the media. i dont know...fuck. i hope it isnt true. Teo's too cute to be killed. he's 19 but doesnt look a day above 12. argh. * ORD function just now. met a lot of the old people from recruit life. boring talk. fell asleep for most part. * ...

old school!
a href="http://www.gaijindesign.com/lawriemalen/nintendo" target="_blank">
:: how nintendo are you? ::

as days go by...
Lee's mother passed away a few days back. it was tragic. poor guy. he hasnt even been with the Guardroom for a month yet, but everyone is already sympathising with him. i feel especially bad for he was my understudy in the first week, and the only other guy who lives in the east side in our unit. so he's left with a dad and a sis who is already married. wont be on duty for the next few days; compassionate leave. he's barely even 20.

about 35 days to ORD. i'm stressed. need a job. how the hell am i going to foot my hp bills? no i'm not depending on my father. i've given him enough hell already through secondary school. plus he's already footing the electricity, water and phone + internet bills already.

Anu just left for San Francisco. knn. never told me. wonder if she's reading this.

the zine is STILL not complete.

SARS is a bitch. Union Sq was so empty last Friday.

met up with Din Sxetan after so long yesterday. he looks like a skinhead now, but still fucking vegetarian and fucking straightedge! yes! straightedge bootboy. i've always dreamt of straight edge skinhead movements spawning anywhere in Singapore. hopefully this could spark of a POSITIVE skinhead thing for once.

zal smsed while in camp. he got enlisted in army. he hopes to get downgraded for he's flatfooted. zal dude...DONT LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!

Liz...where in the world are you?

the 6 weeks
you know...ive 6 weeks left till that ORD clear-leave. i'm supposed to delve in this period but i wont. and i cant. because the Guardroom is so fucked up now. apart from Goh i just cant stand everyone. well Indra is clearing his leave, and he was okay, so that doesnt count. well so is the whole Rota 3 and Bizkut. and the new guys. * it's a shame to be having a huge rift with Rayelias. in front we acknowledge each other but deep inside we cant stand each other. he changed a lot. its really sad things turned out this way. he used to be my best pal. oh well.

had a haircut.

Man U whacked Newcastle 6-2. fuck.

lalala....growl...lalala...growl!
jane's birthday yesterday. couldnt really chill at her party, had some stuff before that. sneaked up on her at Cafe Cartel to wish her though. havent seen her since De-gen 2002. happy birthday wabbit. :) * jiamin was there too. as was rachel. who hasnt lost her chick appeal. wooo! * mike was there too. as well as some strangers who seemed to be from the Planet Cinabukit. hehehe...*

wenjian is EXEMPTED from NS. because of his 6 strokes in prison. basket.

izzar rabak. didnt call me last night. idiot.

night duty today. fucking sien. that bloody warts got my "excused boots" until today only. IF ONLY I HAD MC.

new link
the site of the month is updated. we've had phonebashing.com for too long already. links up to my cousin's webbie. no she's not single. no she's not available. no i'm not giving you her number. so there.

april's dermatology
somehow everyone seems to be born in April. faizal. that fucking ayam. the new Guardroom guys, yes all 3; adhar, nuramin and lee. what's wrong with these people?

went to zal's yesterday. watched the de-gen 2002 video. i winced when i looked at the Rememo set. not at the band but at my own face. chubby, disportionate, ugly, demented fucker. thats me. i think i got an inferiority complex. or maybe i am inferior after all.

went to changi hospital for my foot wart. another encounter with dermatology. last year was Pityriasis Rosea, that stupid skin infection which disfigured my thighs. had to burn my warts with liquid nitrogen. something therapy. it was okay, though my wart infected areas bled a lot afterwards. went to berd's place to chill (and mess up his place ahaha) before heading to meet Kyo at city hall. reiki was there too. talked about the current SARS, war and economic state. then headed to Sim Lim where we met Marcus. they rented comics to read. brilliant chinese artwork there, reminds me of ahbengs. fucking good art.

6 weeks (or is it 7?) and i clear leave. ORD loh.

wild wet fun
woke up at 10. washed my camp stuff (belt, lanyard) and went to Changi Hospital to see a doc for my foot infection. only to be turned away, probably on the basis that due to this whole SARS thingie, more important cases would be attended to first. then went to Bedok Polyclinic. apparently i kena foot wart and foot rot. sia lah. not that serious, but serious enough to involve liquid nitrogen. yes that fucking wart needs to be burned. appointment on the 10th. ironically at Changi Hospital.

evening went to Escape at Pasir Ris just now with shafa, shah, zal and aish. fucking cool. supposed to have some others join us but shit happens; work, school, etc. fucking fun. i realized that it was my first time on the Viking in this 20 or so fucking years of my life. cheebai. nearly puked. i knew i had motion sickness but i didnt know it was THIS bad. then again, thats why i dont take buses unless absolutely necessary. lucky i had my Axe oil and zal had that asam-asin preserved fruits. helped me a bit. i took the Wet & Wild roller coaster thing 4 times. 3 times alone. fucking fun. then there was the Go Kart ride which beats masturbating. went on other rides, and lastly this water bumper car thing which can spray out water. fucking fun. went home really really wet. i had fun. NAK LAGI!

too dead for me.
nic endo is hot. and Atari Teenage Riot video clips fucking rip. * Elangovan is coming up with another play 4th and 5th April. must watch. but alamak...its a monologue...i prefer the ones with an actual cast. Like Oxygen quite sometime back which made me laugh like no other play has ever done. i remmeber SMSing a whole lot of people who might have a remote interest in the play, and Shah responding by asking if it was a metal gig. LOLLLLLLL~! * Valencia vs Arsenal later. wonder who will win. * met up with Liz just now. didnt see her since De-gen 2. still the same cool person. * chilled with munir, hiks and izzar at Foodplus, before having Seelan with us. talk cock session lah what else. * went to town with Izzar while the rest went off, did the browse and chill out thing and here i am at home. * anyone wants to sell off their ATR CDs?

the old and the new
Goh is now an uncle...hahah! his sister gave birth yesterday so he qualifies as an UNCLE. muahahah! could stop calling him that just now. * a cheongified weekend. Friday met up with all those all friends from Sennett Primary. it was really nice, even though only 8 of us showed up and it lasted less than 4 and a half hours. Aiman, who was the first guy i ever knew, could not recognize me, though he last saw me a mere 3 years ago. wah. hahahah! Noriyah was with him at the meeting point, followed by Kelvin, Daniel, Wen Jian and Hansel. Dian and Iswandar couldnt make it, but Alvin James joined us really really late. it was sweet...we just chilled at BK and talked and caught up on old times. i should organize another get together soon. * after that was drum & bass at Union Sq. the place was empty but the stuff rocked. Castro reminds me a lot of a deathsitcom gone Alec Empire-ish. cool! went with Izzar and Randy, and happened to bump into Umie, Fatin and this girl called Izan. that Liz clone was also there! wahahaha! so i went "hey, remember me? i was the one that showed you the middle finger bla bla bla" and she was going "OH YAH YOU FUCKER BITCH! ^%$#$%" HAHAHAHA! oh well...we made friends anyway, along with some other boys and girls. went home at 8. in the morning. * private guards on duty today. cheebai.

Don't wake me
"in my dreams i bathe, in my purest wishes" Rememories

had a little nap just now. had a real weird dream about being late for duty, and had bits of Changi Airport and my uncle in it. the nice part was dreaming about you. you who never left my mind ever since i first met you a few years ago. i'm getting mushy. eeeee! hahahaha! :P

blahkoo
new RSM. name WO Jimmy Tan. looks like a loanshark. seems strict. but looks wack when he smiles. hmmm. * went back to camp for a while just now for IPPT remedial. went with Saravanan. was 30 mins late because before that went to Lot 1 to get some video tapes from Radin, and played arcade games. did nothing but waste time in the gym, and signed our attendance. * basketball court soccer after that. proud because i scored all the goals for my team. got the nickname Shearer. sia. whatever. * met up with zal and shafa in town. makan, then chilled at the BK / Borders area. bumped into Dewi and Papool there too. * went home at 11+, and bumped into Fawzee at Bedok. * sleepy leh. why ah?

to those who give a fuck...
my handphone number has changed. well not exactly. i got a new line. i still keep the old one for emergencies. * went with my dad to get the line, then had to leave to meet Jiewei. wished could stay longer. this sounds really weird but its been a long time since i actually just chilled with my dad. or mom. but i havent seen Jiewei for years. we went to SAE where he went to check out some courses. * then headed to Marina Sq / City Hall. for makan. met Kyo and then caught Catch Me If You Can. * 3 months to clear - leave. 4 to ORD. CANNOT TAHAN LAH...FASTER LAH!!!!!!!!!

...
hectic week. demands hectic enjoyment. * drum n bass at Union Sq last night, fucking happening. but i was really tired that when i chilled with Kyo outside the club i fell asleep. snoring. a grindcore snore. fuck. * IPPT today. failed. so whats new. then had a jam session before going to Foodplus to catch the Man U - Arsenal game. Arsenal won. without several key players. wooohooo! Berd's jealous. bumped into dyn, kyn, rina and co. munir hiks eric and atok joined too. * midnite... zouk with reiki and kyo. met izzar there. AND met a whole bunch of old friends, from ahmad to dian to amin. the chicks there...POWER!!!!!!! * next time must go again

finally some rest
rest is overdue. yesterday and today i planned to rest at home. and i did. aided by the slight flu. * been running around since early December 2002. everyday. either in camp, or doing some outside work. or just jamming. chilling out. or something dumb. everyday, except New Year's Day. * the Germans are in Indonesia now. their show here last Sunday in the private function rocked! ace stuff! * dont want to go to IPPT remedial tomorrow. i dont want!

sian
sian sian sian. muscles aching because of the IPPT Remedial...with the Guardroom guys having to follow Encik of all people. mampos. jogged a bit, then had 3 stints of sprinting. fuckanaden. i dont know about the rest but i didnt have the time to warm up. played soccer for a while...missed an open goal. i can probably use the "tired lah" thing as an excuse but i wont. muahaa. * sleepy.

scorched.
he was nothing. he had little. his jokes were lame. but he was nice. too nice. he helped others. others didnt help him back. even when he needed. his few friends became assholes. his siblings WERE assholes. and still are. he complains that they just want to become somebody. but he doesnt realize he's the same too. can i blame him? can you? can he blame himself? will he take the same stand, if he was on the other end of the spectrum?

chow cheebai
kanina. today ive to go back to camp for that "IPPT FAILURE REMEDIAL TRAINING". "Report to Cpl Suhaimi at 1645 hrs. BY ORDER". Lanjiao lah. i'll still fail the IPPT. ORD mood some more. FUCK. the programme. doesnt sound so good. sounds like a name for a ska punk band. maybe they should rename it "Special Physical Training" instead. heheh. * Steve Towson was in town last night. [www.stevetowson.com]. ace anarcho acoustico. got his CDr last year, only to pass him tapes and zines YESTERDAY. he was cool. understanding and interesting. on his way to KL now. where he'll meet up with Joe Kidd and perform there on Friday or something. rocks. KL is a good place with a good scene. * Phuture rocked last Saturday. maybe this Saturday it will rock too. Drum & Bass this Friday. Kable's up on the list. maybe should bother him with a call. heh hehhhh

as i welcome the new year...
its been barely one week into the new year and i have my first half...well actually the WHOLE year planned already. January is packed with stuff, and Feb and March as well. from going to shows, being part of shows, the new Zerox installment, the personal projects blah blah... * Liz just mentioned to me about planning for DE-GEN 3. wow. * the Guardroom is divided now. every Rota stands for itself now. it used to be the office hour batch who used to stand for itself. obvious grudges between people and the guys are showing their Melayu shit. Melayu shit which borders of laziness, backstabbing, racism and hypocrisy. fallen out with Rayelias, and basically my best friend now is Goh. who ironically is the only Chinese guy at the Guardroom. Helmy returned from his leave and MC period (7 weeks!!!!! cheebai!) but he's okay. I dont know how just-transferred Radzi will be like but apart from Goh, Junaidi,Helmy and Indra, i dont think i can stand the rest. * 5 more months till ORD. i better not let shit happen.

pantat kau
so its the new year. resolutions are dumb. and cheesy. and lame. plus i never keep up to any resolution i've ever made in the past. * not at peace with myself. im happy. but something is wrong. i dont know what. the pre-ORD clear leave period should be spent doing soul searching. disregarding and neglecting all plans, and maybe spend 1 week at home doing nothing. watch movies. listen to music. maybe have sex. or masturbate. so long as there are no deadlines to meet. yes i think its a good idea.

BOOM!
to all the bastards, motherfuckers, lovers, haters, foes, friends, acquaintances, pals, enemies, the forgotten, the present mirrors, the future....HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR! :)

::if punk ever mattered to you::
::Guessbuuk, Guestbook, Gasbook::
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