i saw Diane today. ^__________^ i haven't seen her in sucha long time and i got to see her with her long-anticipated boyfriend Rae ^_^ HRm, today was my friend Christian's birthday and we came over his house for a surprise party. I chilled there with Kelvin, JD, and Roz and then we went out to eat with like virtually everyone in Roz's cotillion. The China buffet was just us. :P allg it was yummy. Then we went back to Christian's and ate cake and took pictures. And then i went home. Oh yah, my brother finally put up his server so i'm using his IP addy. so if it takes a lil bit to load my blog, it's cuz my brother's connection isn't as fast as members.spree (tho it's hella faster than dencity or virtue) ^_^;; Teddy wrote me a love song on Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 01:06 a.m..
Dear God,
where were u last month when an innocent girl died in a fatal plane crash? She was a singer, young and talented. She was at the peak of her career. Why did you let her get on that plane? Why did you let her die? Where was your mercy then?
Dear God,
where were u this month when one of my friends came into school each day with tears in their eyes because they had gotten into a car accident? Nicole, Dana, Vanessa... where were you when Janine's father got killed by a car when he was biking down the street? Why did you let that happen?
Dear God,
where you were this week when two planes brought down the twin towers killing hundreds of innocent people, making me so afraid that my father might be dead, leaving him without a job, and claiming the lives of so many firemen and policemen whose only intent was to help those in danger? Where were you then?
Dear God,
Where are you? Where is your love? Where is your mercy? You haven't answered. You let us down. You tell us to do things for you when we really should be doing things for ourselves. Not because we should for god, but because we just should. You hold us back from everything. It's not a wonder... that i stopped believing in you.
Everything seems to be falling apart. It's not only the WTC incident. It's everything else too. School just started. And the moment it did, we found out that a girl in our grade's father had died in a freak accident. He was biking around when he was taken down by a hit-and-run car. He died that day. During the next week or so, my friends would come into school crying because they had gotten into a car accident. After that, the twin towers collapsed. That's what hit me the most probably because my dad could have died had he not been late for his train, because there are people that i know who have family and friends who died, and because my father is now out of a job since his building was damaged. There's just so much fear and hate floating around right now. It's all over the street. It's all over the cars and houses. And it's there in the shape of an American flag. I can say that i admire everyone's patriotism but at the same time, i kno there are people getting hurt from this. Indians and Muslims are getting harassed everyday and it pains me to see that they can't even go out to buy food and that Indians (who aren't even muslim) wear Yankees caps to hide their turbans. They're afraid. Just like the whole country is afraid. They vandalize temples and threaten people at gas stations because they're afraid. They're scared of what might happen in the future. And i don't blame them. None of us know what to expect. Today i came home from a birthday party to find out that a gasoline station that my friend's family owns was smoking. It might have been an accident, it might have been someone who felt they should get their point across by burning a gas station. My friend isn't even Muslim or Indian. She's Filipino, her family is Filipino. I think that all of what's happening is just too close to home. Not only did we lose so much life, we're going to lose more when war begins. I wrote that poem up above because at times like these, i can sit there and truly understand why i don't believe in god and why sometimes (though i don't look down on people that do) i think that belief in god just makes the world worse. Teddy wrote me a love song on Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 12:36 a.m..
i'm in school right now and i'm sitting in physics class doing absolutely nothing. The reason why i'm doing absolutely nothing is that there seems to be a big controversy going on on the East Coast. I heard the news in second block today that two commercial airliners crashed into the twin towers just minutes before. At first i thought it was a rumor but it definitely wasn't. After i left class i heard that the pentagon was bombed and that the white house was in danger.
i don't know about anyone else but that just seems to be taken right out of a science fiction movie. My physics teacher is just letting loaf around. No wonder. Who can work when all ur thinking about is how one of the symbols of the Unites States (the twin towers) was suddenly knocked down killing hundreds in the planes as well as the people in the building and the buildings surrounding it. There are times like these when u wonder if there really is any good in the world and that if good and evil do exist and if there is a God. Why would god let something happen like this? :P it's crazy. i got so scared because my dad works at a place walking distance from the Twin Towers and i heard that the planes hit around the time that my dad arrives there from the metro. It freaked me out. But later on in class i heard that he was fine. My school is retarded and it's not letting us leave so i'm sitting here blogging since i don't really have anything else to do. Aright, that's it. I'll blog later i think and hopefully things'll settle down tho i think that no matter how much we try, things'll never be the same. Teddy wrote me a love song on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 01:44 p.m..
y'kno.. i was at school today and homeroom bell had just rang. I walked out of my homeroom and went straight to my locker which was maybe a few feet from the door and i reached to turn the dial to open my locker and i see my friend Christina Christensen approach her locker. She didn't say her cheerful "hi" like she usually does and she didn't look at me as she reached down to gather her books for our first period class. I asked her if she was okay and she muttered a reply: "yah, i'm fine." that means something was wrong, of course. I shrugged it off and headed towards physics. After that class was over and done with i headed back to my locker and saw Christina once again with that distraught look on her face walking away from her locker with her AP History book in her arms. I got my books and headed to class. I sat right in front of Christina in Room 101. I placed my books on the floor and got ready to start class. Some time passed and i knew that Christina was in one of those "blah" moods. So i took out my planner and ripped out a small piece of paper with a few hippos on it and i stuck a sticker of blue bear saying "Love you..." on it. I placed it on her desk and suddenly spinned around hoping that Mr. Shepherd had not seen me tho i think he did. After a short moment, i heard Christina laughing and she said "thank you." For the rest of the period, she seemed somewhat happier and i was happy with myself. I hate seeing my friends upset or sad. I don't wanna show off by stating this story but i guess it was just a way of saying that the little things count.
I think if the right person smiles at you when ur in a bad mood, u'll feel better. It's those things that u really cherish in life.
so anyway, i think i'm gonna slip out of my "shroom" mode and fall flat on my face on the pavement of sarcasm. derf. so anyway, yah. My car sideview mirror is fixed! PRAISE GOD. well not really. But yah.. so anyway!
hehe cute right? *MUAH*
arighteez, that's it. I gg do some homework --;; Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, September 10, 2001 at 09:07 p.m..
fear is how i fall...
confusing what is real...
wow, i love that song. WOOHOO! Linkin Park! with the cool asian turn table dude! so anyway.. i was watching MTV over this weekend cuz i did virtually nothing productive and i saw the "new" Nelly Furtado video (i hate her btw) and why the hell does she have such cute asian guys in her video??? :P i guess cuz they breakdance. So anyway, yah that's the only reason why i found that video interesting. for some reason i think that guys dancing around in mud in a swamp, in skirts covered in white powder, and eating noodles backwards is just not very logical. But hey, whutever.
so anyway, enough about MTV. I started school last Tuesday. It sucks. I mean, it's not that bad but i have two AP's and i REALLY don't feel like doing all that work. It's annoying. I have a shitload to do tonight, btw. So yah, this sem i have Hons Physics, AP History, AP Calc, and Paint/Drawing. The classes aren't that hard but at the same time it kinda sux cuz my AP Calc teacher is the biggest dumbass of all time. And it's really annoying that he has no idea what he's doing. It's like he has no idea how to solve problems, he has no sense of organization. he doesn't seem to have anything prepared for the class. he can't make up math problems on the spot like every other teacher i've had can. and it's like he's the shittiest math teacher i have ever been in class with and it really really sucks. All the rest of my classes are okay tho. Hons Physics is cool cuz i dun really hafta pay attention (tho i do) and Mr. McGoughlin is a good teacher. Boring but still a good teacher. AP History is great. Mr. Shepherd is the best. I have the best time in that class. Then there's Calc.. i don't even wanna start. I liked math until i started staying in his class. And then there's Painting/Drawing which is always a good time. So yah... school's not that bad but i hate the bus and i hate everything about the bus and i wanna drive to school ARG. I swear. The plan was to take the car today and tomorrow and Court gets her license tomorrow so i can catch rides with her but NOOOOOO, my parents had to get the car fixed like today. Hopefully we get it back soon cuz i need the car on Friday. I'm catching rides with Court Wednesday and Thursday hopefully. ARG... i HATE school. BLAH. --;; so yah... i think that's it. I don't feel like writing anymore. I'll blog later or something. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, September 10, 2001 at 04:25 p.m..
oh and i forgot to mention that i put new (well atleast newer pictures in my "Much Luv:" section.. go check them out ^________^v Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, September 3, 2001 at 10:39 p.m..
i just feel like sticking pictures on here.. :P i dun really have anything to write about.
it's pretty isn't it? it's my pride and joy.
no doubt that i'm gonna get a gun when i'm of legal age. i think pelting something with bullets is a calming experience.
*don't think i'm psycho*
the next two pictures are of my two Trains of Thought boys:
austin...
and Dale.
lol they're total dorks.. ^_____^;;
the other ones are a little too big to post so i'm just gonna link them...
this is me and Katrina's sticker pics at Woodbridge last week
this is a pic of (clockwise) Trina, Yan, Dale, and Austin at a party that we went to before we went to Marian's graduation party
and last but not least, a pic of (left to right) Paul, Kristine, Austin, and Me at Dale's grad party check out my blue eyes ^______^v
well that's it ^_________^ erf, i have school tomorrow.. aaaarrrrgggggg.. --;; oh well.. gotta go now.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, September 3, 2001 at 10:12 p.m..
i think i might actually have a domain to use. my brother has his own IP address so he's gonna let me use it to store my files. THANK YOU GOD THAT MY BROTHER IS A COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR.
^________________________^v
he also said that i could let some of my friends use it.. but not too many or else it'll just make it as crappy as those other domains that we're avoiding --;; that's it! Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, September 1, 2001 at 07:03 p.m..
"God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs."
"Dinosaurs... eat man. Woman inherits the earth."
that sounds good to me. i mean, who needs men when we've got strap-ons and artificial insemination?
JOKING. JOKING.
so anyway, yesterday we drove from NJ to here, VA. i'm kinda blah about being here cuz everyone that left for college is coming back for this weekend and i can't be there. :P it's my grandma's b-day party and also i was visiting JMU today. so anyway, my brother came with us and he drove all the way here. we talked about like everything. about not getting bad credit, about speeding and avoiding cops, about cars and other things. so we got here. today we woke up around 7 and left for JMU. we took the tour and everything. the tour guides were prolly high or something cuz they were so upbeat. they kept on making us sing the "JMU fight song". personally, i didn't really feel like singing it so i just hid behind my dad. :P so anyway, yah, the school's pretty nice. Nice facilities. Nice dorms. It doesn't seem so hard to get in. but the thing was, there were like no asians there. The majority of the school is white and there's a reasonable amount of blacks. But i saw maybe 10 asians total. Most of them were Korean. i saw like 3 girls and like 7 guys. Iunno. there's not many asians there and i don't really think it's a problem but i do feel it will be if i feel alienated. I watched the students and everything and the whites stick to the whites, the blacks to the blacks. There's a few asians that mix with the whites but not many. Iunno if i'd feel at home there or it would be harder to make friends since i'm asian. I know it sounds discriminating but from what i've seen, i guess that's what i really fear most. But otherwise, the school is really nice. There seems to be alot of school pride which i think is cool. People wouldn't have school pride if they didn't like the school so. But NYU is still my first priority. If i don't get in, maybe i'll go either to BU or JMU. well, that's it. I'm tired of typing :P Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, September 1, 2001 at 06:30 p.m..
first, it's pitas.com that won't let me edit my entries (which it still won't) then i find out that members.spree is closing which leaves me domain-less. now i have to use dencity or virtue.nu and they're both down.. or maybe it's just that they both suck. and trina's picture trail is also down which means that i can't get to the pictures that we scanned all yesterday. soooooo.. i hate the internet right now. watch, after i type up this whole entry, it won't let save --;;
aright, so enough of be blubbering about how my internet sux. yesterday, i got up around like 1 and i went to trina's house. Egan had called me up before i left home and told me that him and govan were chilling. i wanted to hang out but i couldn't hence i was going to Trina's house. so anyway, i showed up at Trina's place. i actually have no idea what we did for like 6 hours. i think we took pictures and made a fansign for lez. it's on her blog : Angel Egg it's of me and trina. u get to see my crappy tag. so anyway, yah, we did that and i really have no idea what we did in the time that i was there. oh well. i ended up getting home around 9 or 10 or something and i ended up going to sleep around 5AM once again. i couldn't sleep cuz i drank some pepsi. it was torturous (or however u spell it). so yah, in the time that i was lying in my bed at 4AM, i wrote a poem and saved it on my phone. here it is:
i close my eyes and all i can see
is an empty room.
Plain solitude.
a feeling of unfeeling.
Restlessness.
Uneasy.
Inexplanable
Too many thoughts.
They all talk to me
at the same time.
I wish they'd disappear.
I just can't sleep.
on sunday, my family and katrina's family ate at Charlie Brown's for our last hoorah! before they left for TX (her mom and her dad)... we spent the whole time being really dumb and while our parents talked for what seemed like an eternity, we decided to make a garden out of our brownie sundae. sounds like fun right? after that, trina came home wid me and we went online and talked to Paul (poor paul wid his issues --;; *HUGGZ*) and then we watched the movie "Pitch Black". YES, Vin Diesel's shoulder is the size of my body. so anyway, afterwards, we spent like an hour talking about how if we were the aliens that were eating ppl in that movie, who would we eat first and keep going down the line. I say the arabian kids cuz they were annoying. then the bad johns dude. Trina said that she'd eat Johns first and then the arabian kids.. iunno. so yah, that's a disturbing topic.
anyway, the next day, which would be monday (see, i know all this because last night i spent like 3 hours writing out everything i did in the last month in my tiny planner.. i think my fingers are temporarily in repair from peeling those lil sticker off --;;) so anyway yah, on monday, it was my brother's 25th birthday. we went to go eat at arirang (the hibachi place on 9 or 18 or 1? iunno...) so yah, we got there and i get a call from trina and she tells me that her parents decided to let her not go to six flags on wednesday (which is today, btw). AND i found out it was cuz my parents told them it was a bad idea. SO i was pissed. so we ate hibachi with my brother and his girlfriend and it was REALLY good. i had filet mignon with lobster (by far, the most expensive thing on the menu, i think) but hey, it was delicious so i don't care! so anyway, yah, my brother tells me that his boss hands him a card and says "y'kno... do u realize that u are now a quarter of a century old?" lol my brother wasn't too happy about that one but oh well. and his gf was gonna buy him a cake that was in the shape of a biiiiig quarter --;; oh well..
so anyway, yesterday my mom bangs on my door and tells me "wake up, you're going to the doctor and we're going to pick up katrina and her sisters" so i get up with an enthusiastic mumble and take a shower and what not. we end up at trina's house around 1. we pick them up and go straight to my doctor's office in Edison. let me get this straight, my pediatrician's office. YES, i still go to my pediatrician. It's hilarious cuz u walk in and all these lil babies and toddlers are being treated and suddenly u see me walk in. :P oh well. so yah, i got there and the doctor gives me another inhaler. OH JOY. so yah, i hafta take that twice a day which i didn't yet today, oh well. so after that, we went straight to Woodbridge Mall. yah, we went there with my mom and trina and her sisters so we passed by the Image Shots place where our pictures were framed on display and i told my mom "look! we're famous!" lol. she thought it was funny. so anyway, we ate at Wendy's and had a laughing fit about this girl that had HUGE boobs and don't get me wrong, my mom pointed it out. i told u i have weird parents. so yah, we laughed for like an hour about that. then i think we went to the Sanrio store where i bought notebooks and folders and another planner. it was all peachy. so we left and then went downstairs to bath n body and i bought more anti-bacterial stuff which i'm running out of. after that, we went into hot topic (which is not extended btw).. so after we left there, we were on our way to Forever 21 when me and trina saw this cute korean guy and he walked into a store. and we looked at the store and low and behold... it was a MORNING GLORE STORE. we were like O.O oing? what's this? lol so we immediately walk in chattering our brains off about how we didn't even kno this store existed. so yah, i walk around the store and trina goes up to me and mouths the words, "that guy in the back". of course, me being the dyslexic person that i am, i didn't get it till the fourth try but i finally did and went back there and there was this CUTE CUTE korean guy in the back of the store. he was tallish and he was wearing cute clothes. i kept trying not to look at him. but he was SO extremely nice. arg.. *bites him* lol jp jp. lol naw, he was so friendly, always telling us prices n stuff and how they're gonna have more stuff and everything. pretty much i think he was looking at me weird cuz i was wearing blue contacts but lol oh well. so i bought govan her birthday present, a small plush blue bear and a cute bag to put it in. and then we headed out (regrettably, because i wanted to stay with the cute korean dude).. hopefully we can go back on Friday cuz my mom said it's a possibility. YES, hopefully they have the sticker picture booth in there open so i can make a fool of myself in front of him. that's always good. so anyway, after that, we went to Forever 21 and i saw Roz and Mel there. aw, they were so cute. walking around and helping ppl. my mom went crazy and bought like shiet-load of stuff. lol, she definitely wants to go back to woodbridge sometime soon especially since they have a Macy's now ^_^v so yah. we said bye to mel and roz after a while and i showed them my present to govan (the plush Blue Bear) and they thought it was so cute ^^ heehee. so anyway, yah, after Forever 21, we were pretty much done. we drove Trina home and on the way, we called up Lana and wished her Happy Birthday. she's 19 O.O aiyah, lana unnie, ur so old.. lol jp. almost twenty. :P i'm not even legal yet. and i also talked to govan on the way home and she said she was going to Freehold Mall with our friend Fierro. so since i had to give her her b-day present and also because i just wanted to hang out, i told them i'd meet up with them. aigooo, another mall --;; so yah, anyway, we dropped trina off at home and and stopped at home for a minute. i grabbed an old picture of lnc at a sleepover in Vanessa's house from frosh year and wrote suttin meaningful on it. so i went to the mall and met up with govan and fierro at Banana republic and i found out that Fierro worked there. so after about an hour of trying on stuff, Fierro finally bought what she wanted. i found out that Tony wasn't working at Banana republic because he had skipped the training days to do a service project with little kids or something so he was rejected. i felt bad --;; that really sux. so anyway, yah, after that we hit a few more shops. Fierro spent like over $100 on clothes @ banana republic but hey, she works there so 50% off on almost all merchandise is GOOD. so yah, she got a good deal on her clothes. so went to victoria's secret and looked at stuff. Fierro was very interested in the corset. I think they look very dominatrix-y but i prolly wouldn't be caught dead in one. so anyway, we went to Ruby Tuesday's and ate some stuff. GOD, THE WAITER WAS SO CUTE. He was tall and he had dark brown hair (i actually have no idea what color his eyes were) but aw, he was SO cute (and hot). so yah, the entire time i was practically swooning all over him (which out teddy, u got some competition) and getting angry at the two teeny-bopper girls that were sitting at a table behind us. "Like OMG, Hanson is SO HOT!" *rolls eyes* so yah, we ate some stuff, and we met up with Egan and Christina. then we finally left the mall (i think i had waaaayyy too much of malls yesterday) and we went to Cornerstone. It was kinda late-ish so there was no one there besides the fact that it was Tuesday. So anyway, we ordered out stuff to find out that there was no hot fudge, there was no oreo, and no reeses pieces so that pretty much wiped out all the choices i had in mind. so i just ordered a cafe mocha latte and a slice of pecan pie (which i luv but i hadn't considered at the time). so we ate, dah dah dah. and we all found out something quite disturbing about govan. i can't say cuz it's not place to spill it to the world but i do hafta say that i was a bit disappointed at what happened, pending the given situation. iunno, i think it's hard to think of govan the same way anymore. sorrie, govan. i still luv u tho. so after that, we went to my house and chilled and did some DDR and hung out in my dad's office. (which was kinda weird how amusing my friends thought it was) so after that, everyone left and i eventually went online for a little and read Picture Perfect and then i worked on my planner for like 5 hours while talking to Trina on the phone and then i eventually went to sleep. ^_^ Teddy wrote me a love song on Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 02:23 p.m..
me, trina and dale were on the phone a few nights ago and trina was talking about how hot 97 was playing aaliyah songs non-stop. We were wondering why...
Dale: yo, maybe suttin happened to her
Trina: yah, maybe she died or suttin..
me: nooooo.. she didn't die.. maybe it's just "aaliyah night"..
we had joked about it for a while and even thought maybe she had gotten married to Case (since his song came on right after). After a while, it slipped from our conversation and the next morning, i woke up to hear that aaliyah was in fact dead.
it kinda like smacked me in the face and told me "wake up, death is reality." she was dead. aaliyah was dead. and we had just been joking about it the night before thinking that it was so far from reality. but it wasn't, it was right smack dab in front of our faces.
i know i don't know aaliyah. we weren't best friends. she didn't even know i existed. but at the same time, her death has made me so sad.
i grew up listening to aaliyah. back when she wasn't big, it was her songs that i listened to. she was the young artist with the baggy pants and the tight tops, the different R&B singer. she was young and she was out in the open. in junior high, i was her for halloween and i knew the entire dance to "Are u that somebody". i looked up to her. she grew up when i was growing up.. i heard her songs throughout all three years of highschool and while we were going to choreograph something for Dale's birthday party, we were even gonna stick one of aaliyah's moves in the dance and we thought the dance looked aaliyah-ish, simple but still cool. that was what she is. she had her own thing.
i can't believe how worked up i am over her death.. it feels almost like i had known her. and i heard timbaland on trl, he called in and he was talking about how she was like his lil sister and that it was almost like he had lost his own blood. it was so sad. i juss can't believe she's dead. she was so young and she was at the peak of her career.. and now she's gone. it's sad.
well i think i'll stop griping about her.. i'll blog laterz.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, August 27, 2001 at 03:58 p.m..
today i woke up around noon even though i got off the phone around 5:30 and probably fell asleep around 6. Well, my day was utterly eventless. For some reason, my parents decide that they want me to partake in more of their daily ventures. For example: i wake around noon and my mom goes "do u wanna go with my to Sam's club?" and i'm sitting there thinking "what the hell and i gonna do in Sam's club?" so i say no and watch Save The Last Dance. It was an okay movie but Julia Stiles' teeth just distracted me the entire movie. so anyway, that movie was okay. I liked her audition dance tho. So after that, i... did nothing. I sat and watched TV for a while. Then i called Trina and her dad picked up. He seemed somewhat chipper so Trina asked him if she could go out. He said yes. So yay, finally we could go out. So i drove me and Trina to Menlo Mall. it was considerably far from us but i felt like driving. So i did. (as u can see, this entry is utterly meaningless so yah, don't expect much from it) so we arrived in Menlo and met up with Austin and Dale. They were juss chilling. Iunno. This is really pointless entry. Yah, so we hung out with them and we decided to go to Austin's house and i was kinda freakin out cuz i don't really drive very much at night so i was like O.o oing? i have to follow someone at night? O.o i'ma die! but i didn't and i did pretty good too. yay, so yah. I can drive at night. so yah.
some guys in a truck hit on me and Trina on Rt.18. They were carting two huge lawnmowers on the back of their screwed up pick up. It was very attractive. *sarcasm* so anyway, and these fob dudes hit on us at Menlo Mall. It was very unnerving. No hot korean guys. I was very disappointed. so yah, i think i'm gonna stop ranting now. Oh and yay, ppl like my fic Nameless. yaaayyyy ^_^ aright, that's it Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, August 25, 2001 at 12:38 a.m..
if you would kindly examine exhibit A:
the man displayed here is JK Tiger (i have no idea what his real name is if JK isn't his real name)
look at exhibit A in comparison to exhibit b & c:
exhibit b & c are pictures of the 1TYM member Teddy Park. Do u see the odd resemblance? I think it is ironic on both parts that the two had somewhat similar pasts. They had both started out being rejected by the people around them because of one simple fact: the were Korean. They ended up teaming up with a group of blacks (no offense intended) and terrorized whites (likewise). DT's inspiration toward the business was a Filipino DJ called Kuya Rosco while Teddy Park was accepted into the "asian" way of life by a Filipino guy in his Highschool. Somehow, i think the resemblances are quite astounding. At any rate, i think i'll continue on this topic later.
he's the guy on the right. Don't ask what the other dude is doing.
he's hot right? too bad, he's got a kid. :P
this is dave.
he's cute too right? unfortunately he thinks he's a bunny killer/ vampire / hitman. Someone's off their rocker. oh well. Atleast he's nice to look at.
and here's me and chibiyah. random picture.
TADAH!!! i look like shiet but whutever, it's a cute picture.
The End. Adieu. ^_^ *takes a bow*
for some reason i had the strange compulsion to ask Dale this question:
If you were an M&M, what kind would u be?
now i wasn't talking about color or anything so he told me crispy. I didn't wonder why but i ended up opening like 5 other IM boxes and randomly IMing ppl that i don't really talk to with that same question. The results were..
Dale: red crispy
Austin: looks like a plain M&M but has a nut and is blue (of course he has to make everything so complex cuz he's austin)
Quel: green peanut
Lez: green peanut
Allison: blue plain
Govan: blue crispy
Egan: green peanut
Costa: blue plain
Dean: blue peanut
Kristine: yellow peanut
Trina: grey crispy
Paul: blue peanut
Emanuel: chipped off blue peanut butter (very creative)
Chris Lin: green M&M (the quote: sexy one --;;)
Shannon: defective hot pink plain
Theresa: purple crispy
James: blue peanut butter
Geenabingsoo: red plain
Denise: blue plain
Fredda: blue peanut
Jon Moore: mother of pearl (y'kno when u hold the M&Ms and u sweat the colors off) peanut butter
Julie: blue crispy
Courtney: "a nice shade of khaki" O.o oing? all good ^_^ and crispy
Brito: green plain
Tarik: brown plain
Glenn-John: blue plain
i, myself, concluded that i'd be an orange almond candy-coated chocolate M&M. There's a logical explanation to it too. Most people don't know that almond M&Ms exist. I'm more like the behind the scenes girl rather than the bang-up-in-your-face girl. So that fits. and the almond ones are the longest (length wise) of M&M and i'm tall so hey, that fits and of course i'm orange because orange is my favorite color. Take this from spazz Christine, yes. ><;;
for some reason, everyone in the world thought this picture was taken professionally when it was really taken in a booth at Wild Wood. i'm the girl on your left btw
wanna see a picture of Teddy having an orgasm with the Korean flag?
there it is.
with a half-gone bottle of Snapple Elements Diet Air and a newly-opened bag of white cheddar popcorn munching away hoping that the time will pass quicker. I did pretty much nothing today. Just slept in. It felt good considering that for the past week i've gotten up around 7 or 8 to do.. pretty much nothing. Filipino camp came and went. It wasn't as much fun as the other years but i guess it was okay. It gave me something to do.
i've been thinking a lot. I'm not sure about what. Prolly everything and nothing at the same time. just random thoughts that keep me tossing and turning at night even tho i'm not even aware that it's those thoughts that leave me restless. Sleep has been hard to maintain. I always end up sleeping for an hour or so to wake up for a few minutes and then go back to sleep. It almost feels as though i hadn't slept at all.
have u ever thought about something so much that ur mind already thinks that u've done it? I did that today. I was sitting i think at my kitchen table half-watching TV and half pondering on everything as i usually do. I stared down at my now-empty plate and glass and repeatedly told myself to put it in the sink. My thoughts would drift off into other directions, maybe about gayo, maybe about trying to write a sequel to 36 Moons, maybe about my cotillion or about how i can't seem to get together with my friends now that Kristine left. But between each and everyone of those thoughts, i always reminded myself to put my plate and glass away. After my mind wander moments longer, i looked down and was surprised to find my plate and glass still sitting there. I had actually thought i had put it back when in reality, all i did was think about putting it back. I do the same thing with dreaming. Sometimes the dream is so real that i wake up and think that it really happened. Call me dillusional and so forth. I don't know if it's normal but sometimes i get scared that someday i might not be able to tell the difference between dreaming and being awake or reality and fantasy or action and thought. Well.. i suppose time will tell, right?
a while ago when we had just about arrived in Florida, i wrote a poem about the sky. I stared at it countless hours on the way to Florida, cooped in a van next to an aunt that i didn't really know that well. So i just stared out the window and i came up with this:
I can almost feel the sun's rays that try so desperately to break through the blanket of cumulus wrapped so tightly around the atmosphere
almost like the translucent blue spectrum is playing hide and seek with the world
it's started to clear up now, the thick comfy blanket of grey slowly fading into gentle hills in the sky
the darker grey valleys and the white plains
the scuttled patterns of a bird's feathers and ripples in a calm lake
a strange line of cloud peeking from behind the floating haze
maybe the line drawn between heaven and earth
so soft looking, it would make a soft bed for the angels
ah, there's the sun, it's smiling face humored by scattered baby cotton butterflies
and just beyond, the luminous throne of the gods
the small puffs of white their chariots and the fading blue horizon their ocean, the waters calm and serene
the large towers of white are their palaces, the happy sun's light shining through the shady glass walls
their palaces float and follow the sun, their king, providing the endless warming rays to shelter them from the dark
the darker clouds in the east, the reclused antagonists of the kingdom of the light
when night falls they wallow in their pain and fear, pouring tears down to the earth regardless of day or night
a silent war wages in the sky, the world oblivious of it
the night fights the day
the light fights the darkness
yet we, on earth accept both
the alliance between the two is present on the ground
I suppose that is the price to pay for living among the clouds...
that's it.. kinda corny and meaningless but so is pretty much everything else that i write :P Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, August 20, 2001 at 08:09 p.m..
he prolly hates me because i don't believe in him...
today, i fucked up my car...
three days after i get my license, i can drive to and from Edison (a 40 minute drive) with no problem but on the fourth day, i screw up my car more than it has EVER been screwed up just by pulling out of my fucking garage and trying to go down the driveway.
I got home today around 5:30 from camp. It was an exhausting day and all i felt like doing was sleeping but i ended up getting the hardest jobs in the fucking program. So i'm running around yelling at little kids, reading scripts, singing songs, doing dances, and all the while the only thing i can think about is how much my head hurts and whether or not my tan lines are showing. So i get home. My first concern is to get to my friend, Govan's, birthday party which had started 6 hours before i got back to monmouth county. So i get home and i grab my keys and head out, i turn my ignition and back out. As i'm doing so, i see the basketball thingy coming near so i turned my wheel. Next thing i know, i hear this loud scratching and i looked to my right and i see that the lining on my garage door frame is peeling off and i'm stuck. My car scraped the side of the doorway. I pushed the car forward and back into the garage. My mom opens the door and sees what happened. They don't really seem to care. So i pulled out again, as i'm going out, i see the basketball thingy again, so i turn the car onto the grass. As i'm backing up, i hear something else crunch. I look up and my fucking sideview mirror was crushed from the basketball pole. After that, my dad decided it better to just drive me to Govan's house. so he did. I got there and everyone was chilling. We went to her neighbor's house and played some ghetto pool and i laughed like so hard. So they decided that they wanna go to Red Bank and sleep over Kim's house. I couldn't tho cuz i hafta go to the show tomorrow around 11 (for this Filipino camp that i'm volunteering for). So my dad picked me up like 30 minutes after I had initially arrived.
i was really blah today...
y'kno those weeks where nothing seems to make u feel better and no matter how good u do something, u can't really feel that proud or okay about it and when u kno something can work, u purposely don't let it so u can hurt urself..?
no, u prolly don't... oh well
those are one of those weeks.. i kinda just wanna lock myself in my room and never come out. I don't feel like eating or drinking or laughing or living. It's just one of those weeks. I think it's a lotta stuff piling on top of each other: a buncha my friends leaving for college, SAT scores are low (i won't get into NYU guaranteed), cotillion shit, a restricted license, and so forth. It's getting to me. I kno being depressed and shit is dumb cuz it's life and ur supposed to get over things cuz, like i said, it's life. Things fuck up and u get over it but i'm not right now. I just feel like sleeping. I think i will after i wash my clothes. that's it. Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, August 18, 2001 at 09:16 p.m..
yesterday i went to NYC the whole day to check out two campuses: NYU and Fordham University.
we went to NYU first, taking the metro from Jersey City and the subway/walking to get to where we were supposed to go. Everything about NYU that we had discovered during the tour made me fall more and more in love with it. I've wanted to go there for a while now but just seeing the atmosphere and seeing what it has to offer makes me want to go there even more. The dorms were beautiful and the city wasn't that "threatening". There were accessible things as well as other opportunities where u could meet people outside ur school and to get to kno the local area. I hafta get my grades and my SAT scores up and i have to apply for the early decision thingy. so yah...
Fordham.. i don't even wanna start. After seeing NYU, Fordham seemed like a cardboard box with a meal plan. It was crazy. I'm sure the Lincoln Center campus is cool but the business program is in the Rose Hill campus and it's like a friggin medieval times and a corn field smack dab in the middle of the ghettos of the Bronx. It was messed up. We had taken the metro to NY and we got off the subway and walked all the way to the campus. The amount of black men that hit on me while i was walking to Fordham amounted to more than the amount of black guys that have hit on me accumulated from my entire life. that turned me off from the beginning. I got there and we had to walk like half a mile to get to the building where the info session was and they talked about random things and played stupid games that i really didn't appreciate. We went on the tour and all the buildings looked like castles and old old churches from the 12th century. It was like i was transported back in time to where knights jausted and the round table was the in thing except the girls were wearing cut off jeans and halters.
okay, i started this entry like a week ago and i never got across to actually finishing it. I think i'll just make a long storie short: Fordham sucked, NYU rocked. I hung out with Dean, Kelvin, Phil, Kristine and Katrina in NYC and we went to Chinatown where we saw some guys that looked like they were straight out of The Fast And The Furious. We went to Phil's house then to my house. I got in trouble but hey, it was still fun. The next day, I wasn't allowed to drive to camp because i had slept at 5 in the morning. so my dad drove me. I went to camp. Things were awkward at first and i didn't talk to anyone but now things seem to be better. I hang out with the teenyboppers. and Jed is kinda hot now which is sick. The End. Teddy wrote me a love song on Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 06:14 p.m..
yesterday i told u that i had passed my road test so later on that day when my mom had left with my aunt for Edison, i took my first opportunity to go driving by myself. I went to go pick up Trina so we could chill at the mall.
i was slightly nervous knowing that there would be no obnoxious voice next to me telling me to slow down or to look both ways twice but at the same time i was exhilarated to start driving. So i picked up my minidisc player and shoved in JS3, started the car and left. I blasted JS for a while and go to Trina's a lil later. As i made a left onto some unknown street to get to rt.9, the only words that came out of my mouth were "oh my god" and every curse word known to man. We were driving on the LONGEST f*cking 25 mph road KNOWN TO MAN. I think i had to have said like 50 cuss words in 2 minutes and it was cuz i was going slug-speed on an open road. Stupid speed traps... so anyway, after a 10 minute drive and a considerably amount of profain language, we arrived at the mall. I don't really remember what we did there. We bought food cuz i hadn't eaten lunch and i had a Roli Boli. We went to CVS and we found a keychain that looked like a silver light saber. It had no price tag and we didn't see any other things like it in CVS so we assumed that someone had just left it there and claimed it as our own. It's now my car/house key holder. at any rate, during the hour that we were there, Trina developed some severe sickness (we assumed that it was the toxic fumes from the teeny-boppers' overused cheap perfume) so we went back to my house. We did DDR until Kristine came and then we did some more DDR lol. So we still wanted to do some more stuff but Trina's parents were blah so she couldn't come. We dropped her off at home and me and Kristine went to Pines to chill with whoever. We played a game of eight-ball that i won ^_________^ i was so proud. Then phil came and we played roulette. Kristine won like all of the games --;; the second to last game that we played, i knocked Phil's ball in but i scratched so techinically i lost but he said that it wasn't a fair game. We both got a win hehe. aw. so yah.. after that we pondered for like an hour on what we were gonna do. We ended up going to Dunkin Donuts. Bear (phil) got a dozen donutes O.o lol, between me and Kristine, we only ate 3 and a half. so he still has like 9 :P all good. So after that we went back to Pines and chilled in the parking lot. me and Kristine did our win-win, boa, and ftts dance and then phil and Kristine did their cotillion dances. So we hung out in the car a while longer and listened to music. and while we were in the car, Trina calls me and she tells about how this guy that she met online, dave, said that he saw me at the pool hall the night before. i was like O.o uhhh, i don't kno u? he knows me as "that tall gurl" like everyone else does --;; so we left eventually we left the pines parking lot and went to my house. We hung out in my basement where we did the "real" boa and ftts dances and we talked for like forever. then they eventually left. Phil had to get home and it was like 4 in the morning. i went to sleep right after that.
today i was planning on getting up around like 11 or 12 and i'd call up govan and ask her if she wanted to chill at Freehold Mall or something before she goes to work BUUUUUTTTTTTTT, my mom decided to wake me up at like 9 in the morning telling me that we're going to Edison and i hafta drive. So i get up like 30 minutes later and i take a shower. We didn't end up leaving till like 11. I was pissed. I coulda slept a whole nother hour. So i drove to Edison, no big deal. The entire ride, my mom kept on giving me all these directions on how to get around Edison. OMG, i think i know Edison better than i know Freehold, seriously. I know like the whole f*cking layout of the town since my mom decides to talk about it every second we were there. So we went to Menlo. We didn't really do much. I bought a tank top for $5 and a cute pair of pants for 10. I also bought a ghetto Palm V that came with a purchase on my mom's macy's card. Hey, at least it looks high-tech. So anyway, I was (and still am) wearing a snakeskin print tank top and everyone was giving me dirty looks. :P i felt..weird. So anyway, yah, we left, then we went to the hospital to pick up suttin, then we went to my best friend's house so i could chill there while my mom dropped my aunt off at the airport. It was fun chilling with Faith. She's going off to Williams (i have no idea where that is) and she showed me all of her stuff. It was cool. We left eventually. I saw the cutest movie "Billy Elliott". It's about that kid that started out boxing and he started getting into ballet. It was SOOOOO cute. so anyway, yah. After that, we left and went home... my ass was like sore from all the driving and sitting and whut not.. and now i'm here writing isht and talking to ppl online. i'm talking to Lez.. she's showing me INTERESTING pics.. VERY INTERESTING.. *AHEM* here:
now, i've seen countless pics where Eric tries to kiss Dong Wan but i have never seen a pic where Dong Wan kisses Eric...
i have a sneaky brother (dong wan) .. he's all trying to be suave..
ERIC, u pimp, get OFF my brother.. he should kno better.
so yah, i was kinda upset that Eric didn't have a pacifier pic like everyone else did. i posted Minu's in the previous entry. here's Jin:
see? he gets one... why not the pimp?
naaawwwww, he's gotta be chillin in the water..
*sigh* oh well... atleast there's this...
heheheheheheehehe *evil grin* welp... i think that's it.. i might add some more. who knows what interesting pics that Lez can show me? hehe.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 at 09:34 p.m..
i saw these on Trina's blog...
TAAAADDAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
^_______________________^
hehe.. just looking at those gives me bad thoughts O.o *COUGHnippleCOUGH* hahahahaha... u didn't hear that from me! ^_______^;; chibi is the perverted one :P n lez, of course. that's it! i'll blog later. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, August 13, 2001 at 04:50 p.m..
well, i haven't blogged for a week and being away from a comp for so long makes u miss so much --;; i didn't finish reading 36 Moons or Like Ice and i haven't worked on Walls of Air in forever. Urada came back and she's posting on Delphain, a new storie called Perfect (a MinJin). I dun think she'll be writing School Dazed anymore. --;;
so yah, i was in Florida for a week. you should see my tan lines. They're incredibly visible especially when i'm wearing a tank top --;; all good all good. atleast i'm not a pale-ass mofo like i used to be lol. my forehead started peeling but it stopped. i don't think it's that noticeable :P so anyway, we took a 4 hour drive to VA and stayed overnight my uncle's house. we woke up maybe around 6AM the next day and drove 14 hours to FL. --;; i hate driving to FL, remind me to bring someone else who can drive and people who interesting if i EVER do it. So anyway, we got to the hotel around like 9 or so. The hotel was mad mad small and looked really ghetto (which is was). So i ended up rooming with my two female cousins and my other cousin's girlfriend. It was cool cuz there were no parents in the room therefore our room became the hang out. We bought useless stuff like Frappucinos and double stuffed Oreos. It was cool. So yah, we pretty much had nothing to do. There were a few cute guys there but they mostly had girls. We walked to the Super Mart (a lil 711-like store across the street) like almost everyday. That was utterly pointless. But yah, we just hung out and rented movies, went swimming and on the beach. We went mini-golfing at this pirate place. It was cool, i got a hole-in-one. i was like ^_________^v lol. It was a lotta fun cuz hey, we suck and it took forever for us to sink some of the balls. So anyway, sometime later me and my cousins David went to MGM (my other cousins didn't feel like going) so we hung out there and saw a buncha shows and whut not. It was cool. Got a lot of pictures. I even bought one of those squirt-fans, mad expensive tho --;; so anyway, there was this one Korean guy there. He was kinda small and skinny. He had Jin Hwan hair except the highlights were more scattered and less thick and he was wearing those J-rock clothes like the stone-washed tight jeans and a tight-ish T-shirt. If u saw that one a white guy u'd think "gay" but it actually looked good on him. (I think Asians can pull it off, depending) So anyway, he kinda followed me and my family around. Aw, he was cute. So yah, we bought like random things. So went home. The next day we did like nothing. Went swimming and tanned the whole day. The next day we went to the flea market. I bought a butterfly knife! ^__________^v lol i feel all powerful lol. It has a blue handle and the blade is silver and curvy. It was VERY cool. Oh and i spent the whole day bargaining for everyone. that's my business life calling me haha. So anyway, after that we saw Planet Of The Apes and a movie theater. I was pretty good. I didn't like the end tho. --;; all good all good. So anyway, while we were standing outside waiting for our ride, all these HOT-ASS white bois were walking into the theater. and i was standing there thinking "dayem. They have some hot white bois here". And me and my cousins were like "why can't we have hot guys like that at our hotel?" but i figured that they were prolly locals and duh, locals don't stay at tourist hotels. oh well --;; so anyway, after that we drove all the way back. i have been in the car waaaayyyy too long. I got back home yesterday around 5. We stopped and slept in VA in my uncle's house again and left yesterday morning around 12. So i got home like 5. Kristine called me, she's staying at the Colts Neck Inn so she's like right down the street from me. I called Trina on the phone and told her about how random black guys hit on me (as always). No big surprise. It's cuz i have a big ass, i know it. lol. So anyway, Kristine calls me on her cell and is like "u wanna chill?" and i was like "uh, tonight?" (it was like 9:30 at night). so yah, my parents were like "it's too late! you'll be taking ur road test tomorrow!" but then i told them that Kristine was right by us and she could drive me home and such. So they kinda let me. We went to Pines and played pool with kelvin, Dean, Phil, and Paul. It was cool. At first i was like "okay, i suck". But paul gave me help and i got better at it eventually. we played roulette after a while and i almost won but dean kept beating me. Stupie dragon. so anyway, after that we went home. Kristine chilled at my house for a while and then drove home. I showed her Jun Jin's nekkid ass haha. she just covered her mouth lol. so she went home bla bla bla.
this morning i went to the Eatontown DMV to take my road test. the guy was SUCH as asshole. I felt like punching him out. so my mom hands him the wrong insurance card and he goes off on how u shouldn't hand papers to someone unless u know what they are. I was like O.o FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. of course i didn't say that but UGH, i just wanted to kill him. So anyway, i took the test and passed. I got one thing wrong which i don't think was wrong but whutever. I found out that i won't actually get a picture license until next February soooo.. that sux ass. but i get to drive around without insurance. so yay! lol.. :P soooo, i gg pick up Trina. supposedly me and Kristine are chilling tonight. *crosses fingers* i'll blog later, maybe. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, August 13, 2001 at 12:49 p.m..
i didn't get to blog last night cuz i was too busy reading Like Ice, doing some online quizzes, and chatting with Kristine, Linna, and Dean.
yesterday was ur average day. I got up late then my mom gets mad that i didn't know how to get to Eatontown driver's course where i'll be taking my road test on the 13th. So she accuses me of not getting the info about a buncha colleges open houses, which i did like a week ago. It was sitting on my dad's printer. So i called the DMV and the guy gave me directions. My mom was so pissy that day.
so anyway, my mom decided to tell me that she wants to work when she coulda told me like the day before so i coulda worked out my plans better. so i had to go whereever i was going a lot earlier than i had planned. The plan was to go to Lana's house so that Kristine could pick me up from there with Lana, then we'd go to Edison to eat dinner at a Korean/Japanese restaurant and probably play pool afterward. So i call up Lana and she isn't sure if she can go out to dinner. So my mom's sitting there saying how much easier it would be if she went to work that night instead of today. So i call up Kristine who just woke up (it was around 2 in the afternoon). And i asked her what was going on. So then after we had found Lana couldn't go, my mom drove me to Kristine's house. I had brought like half my wardrobe because we were gonna dress up for the occasion and i had no idea what to wear and no time to pick anything out so i just shoved half my clothes into a bag and left in a wifebeater and a pair of UFOs. So anyway, i got to Kristine's house. She was in the shower. We hung out there for a while and did some online tests. Then we eventually left around like 6 or something. We left somewhat early because we wanted to go to Morning Glory but by the time we got there, it was closed. So anyway, me and Kristine met up with Roz, Christian, and GLadys and we hung out around the restaurant. First, we went into the Korean food market where we just looked at stuff. I bought this cool soda thingy where there's a marble stuck inside the bottle. I used to get it all the time but i hadn't in a while so i got one. Did that make any sense??? so anyway, the cashier dude looked EXACTLY like Baekyoung. Well, his face did, anyway. His face was exactly like Baekyoung but i think this guy was like taller and thicker. He was around my height. So yah, i bought the soda from him and everyone was amazed at the marble inside. lol. So we went inside the restaurant and sat down on the waiting chairs. Thing is, there were three chairs but there were 5 of us. so we all just crowded onto it. We found out that the rest of the guys were gonna be late so we decided to sit at our table. We spent like 2 hours just looking at the menu, trying to figure out whether or not ur supposed to cook what was in the "Korean BBQ" section yourself. The last time i ate at a Korean restaurant, we had Korean BBQ but what we didn't know is that u had to cook it yourself. So my parents and i sat there thinking "oh, that guy's gonna come back and cook it for us" which he didn't so our steak kinda burned --;; so anyway, we were trying to figure that out. We were trying to figure out what chick noodles were. And we were trying to find an animal for Gladys. They came up with Walabi. I think the water was drugged or suttin cuz the words that came outta our mouths were SO corny but we just kept laughing. So anyway, eventually Kelvin and Phil came. They sat down and we took like another hour to order what we wanted and we asked the waitress like 50 questions. So we got our food. Kelvin and Roz got chicken teriyaki while Christian and Roz got tempura and dumpling soup. Me and Kristine shared bul go gee and jab che. bul go gee is beef with like this weird sauce and jab che is noodles with beef but we didn't get any beef. all good haha. So the noodles were rough as hell. the beef was good tho. We ate a lil of tempura from Gladys. So we eventually finished eating and left a huge tip because we had taken so long. So we left and went to the Pines Billiards. We played some eightball. It was me and Kristine against Kelvin and Christian. I suck so we lost like everygame. And Christian was good too. Gladys had to be home by ten so she left with Christian and Roz. So it was just me, Kelvin and Kristine. We played roulette (i unno how to spell it). There were these cute Korean guys next to us. They were all tall with the spikey hair and the baggy clothes. They weren't mean either but whutever. They kinda all looked the same hehe. So anyway, we played a few more games and Kelvin won all of them. --;; then we went to get a Coolatta and my mom picked me up. After i got home, i tried to go straight to bed but i was restless. I went online to read Like Ice, which i did. Dean was on, he wasn't at dinner tho he was supposed to be. I got into a chat with Linna, Kristine, and Dean. They were talking about a question from one of the online quizzes. I just stayed quiet and read e-mail. So anyway, they finally got the answer and were jumping for joy. oh! u wanna see a really cute kitty from one the tests?
isn't it cute? ^_________^ lol i have a soft spot for cute thingies.
so anyway... somehow we got into the topic of gayness. I told Kristine about this really really hot gay dude that i saw on the series "Six Feet Under" he was GORGEOUS. his name is Gabriel Cade (real name). I'm not really sure if he's gay in real life but he played a gay guy. so anyway, then we started talking about Houie's guy Matt. I hear he's hot and bi and Korean and those three things are what i'm looking for in a guy lol. I've still yet to see this person and i can't wait till i do. Then we started listing pornos for no apparent reason. So anyway, Dean left the chat and Kristine made a new one for the H.O.T yakuza and company. They came in but a bunch of them left so it was really just me and Kristine talking. We were deciding what sex toy each Shinhwa and HOT member would be. Kristine said Sungie would be a medium size pink latex condom. I said Dong Wan would be motion lotion (tho he's my brother so the thought is unnerving). Eric would be a vibrator --;;. Jin would be handcuffs. Andy would be a blindfold (hehe, the innocent and naive victim). Minu would be black satin bedsheets. :P and then HOT, i actually forgot all theirs. I remember Hee Jun was the red rose petals on the bed tho i thought that belonged to Kangta more. Tony, i said, was banana flavored whipped cream, and Jae Won was the mirror on the ceiling XD we're pervs, yes we are. I dun remember Hyukie's... oh well. so anyway, yah, i was tired and i went to bed but i don't think i fell asleep till like 5AM. so my mom barges into my room this morning and tells me that she wants to see the Statue of Liberty. and i was still sleeping. I have seen the Statue of Liberty more than 5 times in my life and i really didn't feel like seeing it again. So after like 10 minutes of complaining, she decides that i don't have to go. So i went back to sleep of course. She woke me up a little while later to ask for my camera. I swear to GOD if she breaks it or messes up the film that's in there, i will KILL her. so anyway, yah, i slept again, got up around 1:30 and ate breakfast. I didn't finish it tho. Shame shame. So i watched a little of Here On Earth which i got sick of after the first 20 minutes. I can't watch that movie more than once. So anyway, after that i came online and blogged so yay! ^_^ i hafta go work on Walls of Air and such. i might blog later. Teddy wrote me a love song on Thursday, August 2, 2001 at 04:29 p.m..
i called chibi up and she was doing all these online tests about ur personality... i was supposed to drive to edison earlier today with my mom and my aunt but my mom was feeling sleepy so i'm kinda stuck at home..
so anyway, i went online and i took the ant test... this is what i got..
You are a READNT- CRAZYANT PINK (in other words, i'm a crazy ant.. O.o
"You are a combination of the Workerant, the Fireant and the Sugarant. You are real chocolate box - lollypink. Hard on the outside but soft and gooey on the inside. It's too bad you don't show your gooey side more often. However you are rather schizophrenic when it comes to deciding what you want from anything artistic."
well.. that's not very good.. but whutever lol.. it kinda portrays me.. hard on the outside and soft on the inside hehe..
on the fruit test i picked watermelon but it didn't really suit my personality.. somehow i think a grape best describes me.. :P
"You are vigorous yet gentle. You appear to be mysterious to those who don't know you very well because you don't often reveal your feelings. You like to socialize and are popular among your peers."
lol well, the "popular among your peers" doesn't really apply --;; all good hehe..
for the ice cream test, i picked vanilla and this is what it says..
"You are friendly and easygoing. People feel comfortable around you so it is not a surprise that many friends surround you. You have high self-esteem and will not let anyone get you down."
i guess that applies to me ^_^
but mixed flavors also applies...
"You are a negotiator. You'll do anything you can to avoid open conflict so you never start quarrels. You will give in when you think it's appropriate - but you can be doggedly persistent when you know that justice is on your side"
:P whutever.. i like both ^_^;;
hrm.. personality/love test
"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though; you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."
same is chibiyah's ^______^
i think that definitely applies to me..
since i'm a cap (capricorn like chibi).. i guess i'll post my characteristics too
just click on the goat.. isn't that the cutest goat u've ever seen??? i think it is ^_______^v
lol one more.. or two --;;
the swim suit test...
"Wearing a single block color shows that you are generous person and are open to new ideas. You enjoy tasks that challenge you, while others may see your acceptance of such tasks as a risky and even brave thing to do. You don't hold any secrets and speak your mind directly. You have a rather naughty approach towards the opposite sex, and your tendency to flirt can sometimes get you into trouble."
i dun think the last part really applies cuz i don't really flirt that much ^_~ but all good..
and last but not least, the friendship test.. a lot of the choices in this test were like O.o "who would pick that?".. well, i got:
"You truly believe in friendship. You get along well with others, and those who are around you are happy to be with you, too. You love to be surrounded by friends and you'll do anything you can to help them without expecting anything in return. When your friends are smiling, you're as happy as you can be."
sounds good to me... the other choices were harsh.. i was reading down the whole list and i was like "no... uh no.. no" :P all good..
well there's the irrelevancy of today.. i'll prolly blog later about something more important.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Tuesday, July 31, 2001 at 06:08 p.m..
that is what i have been doing for the past few days...
wow, before i went out like every other day and everything was peachy but i haven't talked to my friends in a while, Trina's off on a camping trip, Kristine's moving, and my parents are working... SOOOOOOooOOOOoO.. i'm bored. :P
let's see.. i've been working on a fic called Walls of Air.. it's about a prison inmate who got pulled out of the hole after being there for a few years. Kinda like "Murder In The First" except there's no Kevin Bacon and Christian Slater and also that there's no lawyer business going on. it's kinda violent and explicit but hey, that's what high security prisons are about right? so anyway.. i also read Lez's fic 36 Moons and i thought it was awesome. (She's still not done with it but it will be soon.. then i'll be sad cuz one again, i'll have nothing to do) So anyway, it's about the japanese underground and about these cool assassins and whut not. Definitely my kinda reading. So yah, reading that and how the whole gangsta/mafia thing was, i thought about my really really old gayo fic. It was my very very first gayo fic. When i first started getting into K-music. And i remember writing and not knowing what to write cuz at the time, i really didn't know much about gayo. I just knew their names and what they looked like. So anyway, yah, i thought about that fic. It was all about the underground and bla bla bla. So reading Lez's fic made me wanna write mine again. Iunno if i will tho cuz hey, i gotta write Walls of Air and i'm not really doing a good job at keeping up the pace. But yah. I'm also in the process of writing two other fics one called Mistaken and another untitled one. But those are going nowhere considering the fact that i can't even read them over to find out where to start again. It's frustrating knowing that u can't finish something. It pisses me off cuz i just get bored of what i write and i think "this is so crappy" cuz i was just dragging it out and i just pretty much give up. Iunno. It's not easy to write when u tend to have a block like every two seconds. -________-;; so anyway, kristine's moving like tomorrow or something. It's kinda freaky. The reality of the fact that next year during the school year i won't be able to see my older friends and be like "hey ateh!" or "hey, how's this done?" or something cuz i'm supposed to be the one doing it. It's just grim reality kinda hitting me. That once all my older friends leave, i might not actually see them again...ever. it's rough. I don't have many friends younger than me and when they leave, it'll be kinda like starting from scratch. it kinda scares me at some points... well yah. Those are my thoughts. i think i'm gonna try to write now... i'll blog tomorrow i guess.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Monday, July 30, 2001 at 11:50 p.m..
i archived my other entries so if u feel the need to read some of the old ones, just scroll down to "Archive" under my links to Forums and click on Month 1..
and since i archived, my cutie Jae Won gif is gone therefore i must post it again hehe..
this always makes me smile...
hehehehe.. i luvvy.. MUAH JAE WON Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, July 28, 2001 at 08:53 p.m..
well.. she wrote about how some people are kinda upset that she's not too involved with gayo anymore now that's she's out doing other things.. and i have some thoughts on it myself..
yah, it kinda bothers me... she had always been the most enthusiastic one and the most "obsessed" one but now that's she's calming down, there's not really much i can do besides feel happy for her..
yah, she might not fantasize and talk about Jin as much as she used to and she might not post as much or write is a much.. but like she said, i don't think that'll change her feelings towards him.. now, this is one of my guilty pleasures and i've mentioned it before.. it was Kevin Richardson.. yah, i stopped liking him, yah i stopped obsessing about him (and i'm kinda really glad cuz he's kinda dirt baggy.. okie, he IS dirty baggy).. but even tho i stopped talking about him constantly and writing fics and so forth, he's still present in my everyday life. Why do u obsess over a celebrity? i don't think necessarily because u think ur gonna meet up with them later in life and fall in love like some fairy tale but i think more because they are the vision of what u want in a person. Even when i look at guys now, i compare them to Kevin not cuz i think that all guys that i date should be Kevin but more like he was exactly what i wanted in a guy, a vision of a perfect guy. And that's what i look for. The perfect guy. I dunno if the same thing applies to chibi. I mean, she used to talk about Jin the way i used to talk about kevin. And somehow i knew that it would die down even though when she was telling me about it, she was convinced it wouldn't. And now that she sees it, i can't help but think "well, it finally happened." I don't really know what triggered it, i'm guessing that she's seeing someone but it happened. People get over these things over time and there's not really much you can do besides accept it. I don't think there's one reason to be upset or angry. Yah, i won't have someone to talk to about Shinhwa and so forth but when u think about it, she's out doing things with her friends that will stay in her mind for the rest of her life. It's just that way. I think she'd rather go out there and hang out with friends she might not see when she goes to college than sit in her room and fantasize about a guy that she prolly won't ever meet. it's that simple y'kno? and to those ppl who do both, it might not be so easy for her. Who knows? Maybe when i get my license and a job and start going out everyday and maybe have a guy, i won't be writing fics about gayo. It just makes sense. Why put off real life to live in fantasy???
there's always room for both but sometimes the scale doesn't even out.. and u tip to one side more than the other.. she just happens to be tilting to the other side more.. and i don't blame her..
i just wish that i could spend a little more time with her.. we were tight during the school year and the beginning of the summer, we used to hang out a lot..but i don't see her a lot nowadays.. prolly the distance thing and prolly cuz she has a whole other group of friends to chill with.. it makes sense..
i don't like being a tag-a-long but if i get to at least hang out with her, i'd do it.. *shrug* oh well..
miss u, chibiyah.. hope to see u before u leave.. Teddy wrote me a love song on Saturday, July 28, 2001 at 08:13 p.m..
Profile
Name is... Christine Enciso
Located in... NJ, USA
Heritage is... Filipino. partly Chinese, Spanish, and Portuguese
Likes to... chill wid frenz, write ficz n poemz, read ficz n poemz (hehe), choreograph dances, play pool, volleyball, n bowling, sing, draw, bug out wid frenz, watch movies n broadways, run out in the rain, star-gaze n of course, sleep...
Loves... black cats wid green eyes, white tigers, the feel of velvet, vanilla ice cream, long showers, music (any kind, particularly K-pop), the scents of Nautica Women n Cashmere Mist DKNY, drinks like the Snapple Elements n Jones Soda, Ben&Jerrys, Tastations n Starburst HardCandy, the mozzarella sticks in Cherrystone, 1TYM, Shinhwa, YG, FTTS, HOT, JS, Jekki, Ji Won, Fany, Jae Won, Dong Wan oppa (my broder), Edic, and saving the best for last...... Teddy. ^_^
An Ode
by C. Enciso
A wave of devotion like the fire of desire,
cause it's ur love that's blessing and lifting me higher
a comforting hand, the sound of your voice,
your encouragement, and your faith in my choice.
Your smiles and your laughter just brighten my day
and you each touch my heart in your own special way.
my very existence is driven by you
and you've all changed my life though you never knew.
I'd give up my life, everything that i own
just to pay you back for all the love that you've shown
I'd write out your names in the stars just to see
that if one thing i know: you inspire me...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
... mah first krew ever CCQ [Cookiez N Cream QTz]
...jus u n me, Trina ^^ ...
... mah K2C girlz: K1 Kristine, K2 Katrina, C1 Catalina (Diane), C2 Christine (me)...
...mah Trainz of Thought boys:
Austin n Dale ...
... mah 143 pplz: K2C and Trainz of Thought featuring the beloved huggable Rae hehe *OnE LuV*...
... mah Boa Krew AKA BK gurlz:
Kristine, Trina, Lana and J...
... mah LNC[Last Name Crew] gurlz:
Govan, Balagtas, Fierro, Lewis n Jordan...
...mah SFG [Sexually Frustrated Girls/Guys]...
... mah SAS [Sweet Angelic Sisters] gurlz: Theresa, Racquel, Tricia,
Emily, Andaya, Kristine and Jayme...
... and last but not least...
my best friend since childhood and sister to me
...Faith Lim...
..:to all those whom i didn't mention:..
... i luv you ...
Other blogs:
..: Kristine :..
et cetera
..: Lez :..
Angel Egg
..: Trina :..
non-existence
..: Kara :..
Coming Out
..: Govan :..
I Took The Pope To Prom
..: yakuza :..
HOT Yakuza Blog
..: Austin :..
LyricalCloud
Open Diaries:
..: Shannon :..
*ShiningStar19*
..: Egan :..
FastHands
..: Vanessa :..
Nessie
..: Tony :..
TonyTheGreat
..: Christina :..
Serenity16
Links:
Oorineun YG Family
012Shinhwa
MythLand
Delphain
H.O.T G~Fanfictions Forum
Temptation A G-Fic Forum
Fanatical Fiction
FFL Lyrics Forum
Kang Ta's Baby's FAQ
[+ kpop center forum +]
Saehoon.com
Archive:
Month 1