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Silverware Friday, December 21, 2001
So you're the chair of the Democratic National Committee. George W. Bush welcomes you to the White House, joshing "Great to have you back. Just don't steal the silverware!" You say....
500 Slate readers took their shot and the best ten are posted. If McAuliffe had been able to come up with the number one line, it would have been a historic quip. Ah, Treppenwitz.
Foreign words we need Thursday, December 20, 2001
Howard Rheingold has collected a book of foreign words that have no English counterpart, but ought to. For example, mbuki-mvuki, the Bantu term meaning "to undress to dance." Of course, the Germans hoard all the best terms: Papierkrieg, deliberately complicated paperwork for a complaint; Bettschwere, weariness too deep for anything but sleep; and Treppenwitz, clever repartee too late. Found on The Null Device. Amazon has 14 pages.
Saddam's novel receives rave reviews in Iraq Thursday, December 20, 2001
Story from CNN, not the Onion. "A better novel has never been written by someone who could boil me in oil." That quote appears between the lines in the CNN article. Your browser may not support SUBTEXT tags.
Joss Whedon interview Wednesday, December 19, 2001
One of the best screenwriting war stories I've read and it's from the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Lots of tidbits I didn't know about, including his script doctor work on Speed and X-Men and his lost baby: Alien Resurrection. His quote on X-Men: "The problem with the third act is the first two acts." Be sure to read the 4000 word bonus feature at the end.
Time Travellers - Please help Friday, December 14, 2001
Gadzooks. Joey deVilla, the funniest person working for the Queen's Journal back in my undergrad days, has a web site. I mean, there's no reason he shouldn't, but it's strange to stumble across him this way, on what was otherwise another purlioned blog link. I'll have to explore his kode-fu lair more later, but what drew me there was this time travel spam he received. It starts: "If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!" His imagined reply starts: "Well, here were are again. You have no idea who I am, don't you? Not only am I capable of helping you, but I've done so twice already."
I rediscovered Joey through Boing Boing who, speaking of time travel, also had this fine link about the Pop Shoppe.
Kofi and Elmo Friday, December 7, 2001
The United Nations Secretary-General, Kofi Annan, has filmed a guest spot on Sesame Street. Immensely cool. At the press conference afterwards, Elmo asks Annan where he's going to put "his trophy." That is, the Nobel Peace Prize.
The Arab-Israeli Conflict: a brief history Thursday, December 6, 2001
I knew the names and events, but had only the faintest idea how they came together. This short Flash presentation by the Guardian UK takes you through the history of the conflict from World War II to December 2001, using shifting-border maps and moving news photos.
Little past glories Monday, December 3, 2001
Someone from Australia just wrote me to let me know that my Age of Kings level "Final Hour" is highlighted in a print magazine/CD of mods. It sounds like a print version of the article I linked above. They probably shouldn't have put the scenario on a CD without my permission, but even if I cared, I used all sorts of copyrighted music in the scenario and wouldn't have much moral authority. I built Final Hour two years ago, so it's strange to continue to hear news about it. (In other news of the past, I just sold a short story I wrote five years ago about imaginary bats. I'd better get back to writing today so that I'll have something to talk about in five years.)
Justice to break up Apple for giving Microsoft a monopoly Friday, November 23, 2001
"Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department announced a settlement that calls for the break up of Apple Computer, as both sides agreed Apple's history of "self-inflicted, anti-competitive" management practices is primarily to blame for turning Microsoft into an illegal monopoly."
Duo Thursday, November 22, 2001
If FilePile were up, I'd upload this one. I found it while completing my Christmas wish list. This is third Christmas pitas page that I've made, which means I've been doing Mooselessness for much longer than I realized. Either that, or I can't count past two without screwing up.
American Science and Surplus Monday, November 19, 2001
Now that the BC government is in its four turns of anarchy between governments, making things busy for us drones, I haven't had time to steal as many links from Boing Boing as I'd like. Here's one! This surplus store takes mischievous care in writing its catalog entries, and each entry has its own hand drawn picture. Explore categories from "Motors, Blowers and Pumps" to "Yucky Body Parts." The front page has different items on each refresh. Some finds of mine:
- Young brides simply can’t afford to contract malaria on their wedding day. That’s why we recommend you buy these finely meshed white nylon bags and cut them into veils.
- Flexible rubberized 2” x 4” magnets.... They are all a lovely serene blue with a little message advertising Procardia™ hypertension medicine.
- Transparent and opaque colored plastic dice for role-playing games are slight seconds because of bubble inclusions.... They’ll make great demos for solid geometry or probability. As in: what are the odds the dice we pick for you will be exactly the ones you want?
Young Poisoners Thursday, November 15, 2001
"When you are a teacher, you expect to go to school and teach and not be poisoned." Teachers and their crazy unrealistic demands. (Except for the URL and that one delightful quote, this news story is a fairly run of the mill collapse-of-decency piece.)
Now with 66 percent less crackle Tuesday, November 13, 2001
How unreal that a two-thirds reduction in the U.S. nuclear arsenal isn't the lead story on CNN. (Yesterday's coverage of the excruiatingly thorough NORC recount of the Bush/Gore election gets one line -- below the fold. P.S. Try this Florida vote tabulator.) In a way, while the nuke story is interesting, I suppose it doesn't change the world. 1,700 nukes should be enough for anyone, although if we're attacked by 1,701 alien motherships, I'll be cheesed. I guess the Russians might lend one in that case.
I watched the end of Band of Brothers last night. Imagine surviving through to the end of the war in Europe only to be faced with the war in the Pacific. I wonder if any soldier there could not have supported that particular atomic war.
Mad as it seems, I do think the world is safer with nukes. I may buy Shannon one for Christmas. They probably have nice clear plastic ones now to match the Macs.
Canada 3000 stops flying Friday, November 9, 2001
Well, beans. The airline I was going to take back to Toronto this Christmas has folded up. Right now, I have no idea if I'm going to be able to get my money back from Expedia. They were giving refunds for passengers on a failed Belgian carrier, so that's somewhat encouraging. [Update: Expedia isn't providing refunds, but Mastercard allows a chargeback, so I should get the money, although I haven't yet.] All remaining flights with other airlines over the Christmas season are just out of my reach now, so it looks like a West Coast Christmas for me. I may try to go back in early December instead. Tango and Westjet both have good Vancouver to Toronto deals, so all I have to do is swim to the mainland.
Wish for Something Better Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Sam at Exploding Dog has published his own 200 page book! I ordered one at first sight, possibly my first impulse web buy. Now I command you to do the same. (Not you, Shannon.)
I was going to try to keep it a secret from my sweet until Christmas, but when I do that, we tend to buy the same thing for each other. So it's a Hallowe'en present. If I did waver at all, this one helped make up my mind.
How to write a philosophy paper Monday, October 29, 2001
Worthy advice on writing a philosophy paper (or, I'd say, any persuasive argument). Joel found the best line: "Pretend that your reader is lazy, stupid, and mean." (He also found these stylish Flash games. If you don't like philosophy, go zap some critters.)
The speech that changed a presidency Friday, October 26, 2001
A New York Times story about the writing of Bush's impressive speech to Congress after the September 11 attacks. Despite my misgivings about Bush, that speech topped any other in my life and it did what it was meant to -- made me feel confident that the administration and the man were prepared to face what was to come. The "unmarked grave of history" line had me cursing in admiration, and I was relieved that they made a point of not demonizing Islam. (The NYT uses Canada's "pique" after the speech as a comic aside without explaining the apparent snub or considering the significance of Britain's elevation above all other countries -- something that has come to mean more as British ground forces join the U.S. in Afghanistan.)
Modern Humorist's war briefing Wednesday, October 24, 2001
If you haven't been reading Modern Humorist's summaries of recent terrorism-related news, smarten up. Tom Ridge told those mailing the anthrax to stop targeting the media and other political leaders. "Take me," he said, laying down his weapon. "I'm the one you want." He was, however, hiding another weapon in his waistband.
999 Years Wednesday, October 24, 2001
In 1926, the Vancouver regional district leased watershed land from the provincial government for 999 years. Will the Free Robot City of Vancouver have to negotiate with the gray goo Victoria overmind in 2925? What futures did those governments imagine when they decided to negotiate a millennium-long lease rather than a grant?
Delicious Tuesday, October 23, 2001
Hahaha. A British MP releases his taped conversation with the party whip. What a relief to have no ambitions for Cabinet posts, to have your enemies in the open. Found on Boing Boing.
Bert falls in with a bad crowd Tuesday, October 9, 2001
A poster in support of Osama bin Laden features Bert from Sesame Street. The overall photo hasn't been Photoshopped. He's really in there. Here's a smaller Reuters version. Found on Metafilter. Soon to be found in inboxes everywhere.
Hobbit Name Generator Tuesday, October 9, 2001
As you may know, the Internet was developed in the 1960s so that scientists could share computerized name generators with each other.
I found this particular name generator worth noting, because it revealed my wife's hobbit name to be Lobelia Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern and my own hobbit name to be Fosco Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern. In this world, my wife and I don't have the same last name, so I think it's pretty clear that name generators are now capable of making complex cultural deductions and are ready to take their place in the spheres of government, education and commerce. Before long, I venture, we ought give them the vote.
For those unfamiliar with the history of computing, I should add that Vinton Cerf's hobbit name is Todo Bumbleroot of Fair Downs.
The Only Missing Swede Monday, October 1, 2001
"I still find myself fantasizing that David's down in the basement of the World Trade Center, in the shopping mall, eating Almond Joys with a pretty secretary and waiting for the cops to show up."
The fate of Wormy Tuesday, September 25, 2001
Wormy was my favourite adventure comic in Dragon magazine, published right when I was in my D&D years. Apparently, the strip ended because its artist, David Trampier, fell off the earth. The images on this page are broken, thanks to TSR's lawyers, but the story is interesting, if fragmentary. You can see an archive of images here. (Stick to the later ones.) This update suggests Trampier lives, but in seclusion. Kaja Foglio, another artist, says the same.
The Onion and Sept. 11 Tuesday, September 25, 2001
I know. There is no way you would miss the Onion. I'm telling you anyway. Do not miss the fucking Onion.
Delta Tuesday, September 25, 2001
A NYT overview of the Delta Force, the special U.S. unit designed for precise and lethal operations. The article begins with a lovely juxtaposition of homemade fudge stores and men trained to put two bullets in each enemy's head.
I started reading Black Hawk Down today, about the Ranger and Delta mission in Somalia that went terribly wrong. Gripping so far. I left it at work and want it back.
Humanclock Monday, September 24, 2001
I give no more clues than the name. Found through Filepile. Try both analog and digital.
The Lost World Sunday, September 23, 2001
In this NYT column full of fortunate phrases, Maureen Dowd describes the time when the World Trade Center stood as being "the lost world." This phrase captures how I feel about the strange distance between now and the time before the attacks. I still haven't written back people I should, simply because they e-mailed me on September 10. The letters seem to come from such a distance as it is, that a day or two more never seems to matter.
I get similarly disoriented from the image of the Kremlin's flag at half-mast in response to the USA's losses. Imagine going back to the day the WTC opened and telling them of that sight. "The towers are destroyed now, and the Russians, no longer your enemy, grieve."
West Wing to address terrorist attacks with new episode Sunday, September 23, 2001
The original season premiere of West Wing is being pushed back to allow the airing of a new episode written by Aaron Sorkin in response to the September 11 attacks. The new episode is called "Isaac and Ishmael."
Slate's Explainer and the attacks Thursday, September 13, 2001
Slate's great Explainer feature has a backlog of 5,000 questions after the terrorist attacks in the States. They picked a few of the best, which haven't yet been answered, but will be. [Update: some answers.]
120 seconds Thursday, September 13, 2001
Alongside all the family dramas about the Maritimes, the CBC often funds projects that let Canadians tell their stories. Some of these projects seem like mandate-fulfillment to me and I wonder if there's anyone working on them who is actually passionate about their work. But some projects click -- I remember one one television series where they gave young people video cameras and sent them off across the country to send back dispatches. I loved it, and they cancelled it. Like most of the CBC's experiments, you have to enjoy them while they last, because they don't last long.
One of the corp's current projects is 120 Seconds, a Flash-based site with that ever-lasting CBC goal: "Find out where the young people live. They've got to be around here somewhere, dammit." I wasn't won over by anything I saw there, but I'm glad to see the CBC try new ground. There's a piece on the airliner hijackings, which is what led me to the site, but I don't recommend it. The tone is wrong for me, so soon after the day. Better is Ars' thread.
A ramble of an entry, I'm afraid. But that's what my mind is like these days.
Planes Thursday, September 13, 2001
Woke up this morning to the sound of seaplanes. As yet, I can't hear the descending drone of planes heading for the harbour without having some corner of my mind whisper "I hope that's a landing, not a crash."
There are e-mails in my box from before September 11 about other things that were going on in my life and the world. Responding to them feels like writing to another time.
In the Tom Clancy version of this story, the terrorists' backer was identified and his house painted with lasers for missiles as the president announced the action on TV. I have trouble imagining this story will end so neatly.
Comment on Canada's copyright reform Saturday, September 8, 2001
Industry Canada is soliciting comments about whether Canada should make it illegal to circumvent technologies used to protect copyright. This tactic is a key provision of the United States' dreadful DMCA. If you're Canadian, please take the time before September 15 to send in a comment, even if it's as short as "Don't repeat the mistakes of the DMCA." E-mail is okay. The EFF has a suggested letter.
PacifiCats Wednesday, September 5, 2001
The BC government's agent, who have the broken-keyboard name PricewaterhouseCoopers, has made this abysmal site to sell the white whales. The index page is 90% text, but has zero real ASCII characters. It's all GIFs. Elsewhere, the question and answers page is locked with the comment "The PacifiCat Sales Team reserves the right to restrict access to only those parties that have submitted an expression of interest to purchase." Uh, reserves the right? Is that how you say you're actually doing something? I reserve the right to end this entry now.
Star Trek is a Superhero Series Wednesday, September 5, 2001
A Slashdot contributor argues that Star Trek is fundamentally a superhero series, not a human drama, and the series suffers when it denies that core.
Kevin Smith and his Magic Feather Tuesday, September 4, 2001
I was saying the other day that Flash has revitalized the short animated film, at least in my life, which is the only place that actually exists and is not a fabrication of clever robots. Flash has also made it possible to take a quick gag you might have developed in a movie lineup and share it with thousands of viewers. For which I am glad.
Britney Spears Nicked Tuesday, September 4, 2001
"Good lord, man! Someone's stolen Britney Spears!" A Google searcher came to Mooselessness after making the above search. (I rank twenty-fifth in this category, by the way.) I laughed because if you follow the link Google asks "Did you mean: britney spears naked?" "What? How dare you, sir! Please take your ungentlemanly suggestions elsewhere!"
The Bulgari Connection Tuesday, September 4, 2001
Fay Weldon's next novel is set in the Bulgari jewelry store, because the store, which really exists, is paying her for twelve mentions in the novel. Making it the location seemed the easiest way. She's written scads of other books, including Wolf, the Mechanical Dog. She took the right approach, I think. A few strained references would have looked gauche and mercenary, but being fearless about the paid connection lets her bully through.
Common Errors in English Saturday, September 1, 2001
A list of common errors, such as "loose" for "lose" (a mistake I never could fathom -- must be an accent thing, because the words don't sound alike here). This site appears to be one of the darlings of the early web, but I'm only discovering it now.
Mooselessness-lessness (ow.) Thursday, August 30, 2001
Man, I made that -lessness joke before! I even said ow after it. Jeez. I don't want to think too much about that.
Anyway, in a recent Salon interview, Ray Bradbury said that people inclined to waste their lives on pinball should do so, and while they do, he'll go write another novel. This approach to life explains why Mooselessness has been quiet lately. I've making plans to go kick Ray Bradbury's ass for being so goddamn smart, at least about pinball.
When I'm home, I'm supposed to be writing. I promised a producer, one of my few contacts, that I'd have a screenplay finished by tomorrow. I had fifty polished pages, already too few, but then decided that I needed to combine two early sequences, and now the whole thing is sitting in pieces like a classic roadster that your sitcom neighbour claimed he could fix.
To solve this problem, I've been playing Arcanum all the time.
Mooselessness has been starved for attention because when I'm home, I'm pretending to write, and when I'm at work, there is so much to do that they want me to become full-time again, which I refuse to do until they figure out a way to pay me in time not money. I'm overemployed.
I had a collection of links that I wanted to add to Mooselessness, but they don't seem exciting enough to merit typing all the HREF tags. I do still like the idea of using flying wings used as Internet platforms, though. And my wife wants me to grow this Kaiser Wilhelm mustache. Cory Doctorow describes his upcoming novel here, although I'd be happy with an anthology of his short fiction, since finding his stories requires that you be an interplanetary scavenger yourself. I never did link the article on the OpenCOLA project, which was the first Doctorow link I was going to post. (Hey, both OpenCOLA and the novel have elevator pitches.) Now, all these links are going to make me look even more fanboy, so I should mention that Doctorow's sweet calls him Poopie and all the cool projects are probably just an attempt to overcome that.
Previously on Mooselessness Thursday, August 30, 2001
A number of stolen Boing Boing links and some comments on Cory Doctorow that led to monkeygirl calling me his fan. My pride! You can also see the full archives.
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