|
|
|
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
|
|
i dont like getting hints. i prefer if im told directly. cos im dumb like that
and that's a fact and that's why you're having such a hell of time now.
finish what you started.
|
|
|
|
Monday, April 12, 2004
|
|
time and again you do the same old thing. suprisingly i dont get sick of your shit
do you know the importance of yesterday to me?
the only important things to you are: YOUR IMAGE.
we rocked your socks off at the show, no denying that. here's the song titles of the songs we played yesterday (in order)
1. stab her body right
2. we've got direction
3. xerox machines are obsolete
4. thrice "all thats left"
5. pass the password - a livejournal moment
i felt like doing two things. situations will decide for me which one to follow. cos im tired.
|
|
|
|
Friday, April 9, 2004
|
|
and it just gets more personal than it should be
shout to the whole world how i ill-treated i made u feel... while i dig my cave for the winter so i can hibernate. like a fat bear who needs medical and mental treatment.
|
Posted by somil
at 05:39 p.m.
|
|
Friday, April 9, 2004
|
|
when your shit comes, you expect the whole world to keep quiet and standstill
when its over you press the "resume" button.
and you expect everything to be back
try understanding mine. seriously. because you dont know how it feels like to have what i do.
|
Posted by world
at 04:53 p.m.
|
|
Thursday, April 8, 2004
|
|
3 more days. the stalker's revenge
stop coming inside my dreams.
|
|
|
|
Monday, April 5, 2004
|
|
im so fucking confused now. i shouldnt let it get to me. but it did. and now i ask, why now?
i can foresee something bad is gonna happen
|
Posted by teppei
at 06:53 p.m.
|
|
Sunday, April 4, 2004
|
|
what's your purpose now?
its seems that everybody has their own spies.
|
Posted by tessa
at 06:45 p.m.
|
|
Thursday, April 1, 2004
|
|
certain debts should be paid no matter how long overdued they are. and in any case sympathy is never an excuse to do so. morally,... maybe. but never out of pity nor sympathy.
just got back from ttsh. incident in the ward involving me, a patient and whole lotta spoiled uniforms and clothes. oh, plus a minor concussion. but alls well now. going back home. jamming later.
you sicken me sometimes. where's your sense of gratitude senorita?
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
|
|
does maturity really comes with age? or does it come with situations? well, both can be laid on the table on your part. now, prove me wrong.
the dare is still up. im just waiting. but no longer am i looking at my watch. im just hoping to see it happen in front of my own eyes.
doubting thomas anyone? or jus plain scared.
|
|
|
|
Monday, March 29, 2004
|
|
you dont deserve that. you're not obliged too. so throw them stones at me. aim higher just a little bit more and your sense of security will follow. its all in the weight of your arms. like snakes.
|
|
|
|
Sunday, March 21, 2004
|
|
Don't touch her there
She's blindfolded
She remembers on the bus
Into my heart, don't remember
Like you left us, without notice
Now you've come back
Like you left us, like you owe us
Into my heart
It's not me! It can't be! It's not you!
I can't do what I do if it's you!
This is not happening
Don't touch her there
She told me
She remembers how it felt
Into my heart, don't remember
Like you left us, without notice
It's not me! It can't be! It's not you!
I can't do what I do if we¡¯re through
This is not happening
Don¡¯t touch her there
He watched her
She knew his look from behind
When she came home for Christmas
-- mew "when she came home for christmas". i love this song.
|
Posted by whiner
at 12:47 a.m.
|
|
Friday, March 19, 2004
|
|
from the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them
Goodbye to you
you're taking up my time
you call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
i'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all thats mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine
this really sums it all up. right down from the title of the song to the chorus.
if i've not done enough or if i don't have the strength that you always had and always wanted me to develop.. im sorry. i disappointed you. cos i always do.
some lame pics on the side.
|
|
|
|
Thursday, March 18, 2004
|
|
i just realised, that the one person whom i gave it all and loved like none in comparison irregardless of what went on or how i was treated.. turns out to be a b*tch.
now, live thru this. but, you already are.
|
|
|
|
Monday, March 15, 2004
|
|
Knowing you even if your life depended on moving an inch you still wont budge. So its been a standstill for quiet awhile now. I hope you know what you’re doing. Because for once in my life I’m about to make a choice which should have been done a long time ago. But knowing you, yet again, I know you would start to assume things. Well, go the fuck ahead. This time round, this will have to start from me. And assume all you want. You know well enough where I stand and how I feel. So go on. And I hope they are making you happy, less bored, and more importantly.. I hope they are making you feel special. The way I couldn’t. The way I tried too. The way everyone saw.
so now live up to your reputation and call me, and tell me to fuck off from your life. If you want too. Which I know you’ve always wanted. But didn’t dared too.
deep inside you know what’s going on. I love the band denali. Sounds like denial.
|
Posted by 156
at 06:39 p.m.
|
|
Monday, March 8, 2004
|
|
it has to end. too much giving.
i almost killed myself jus now, then i thought, was it worth it? yes maybe. all those times. but was it worth it? and the answer came. NO. because i'm guilt free.
the ball is in your court.. hhmm. wait. it has always been. on all aspects.
im going to walk thru city hall and hopefully you'll be there when it rains. and if tat doesn't happen, then i was the better person.
your life is towards right. mine has always been towards the left. there's something that makes us go together and there are things which doesn't. i hope u wake up. soon. everybody needs to wake up. its only a matter of time.
im sorry to all who have been there to here me whine. to see me cry. i miss my old self. maybe i should bring it back.
and bring it back i will.
i loved you more than u can ever imagine. and it scared the shit out of u. because u assumed im like the rest. and u claim i always assume. well, now assume this. im trying to get over the fence. it will be hard. but my fences aren't that high. u could still come and wave to me or talk to me. its just that, for now, im tired.
i need to re-align back my life. and im starting now. first, throw them goddamn pills away. u know what's next.
jus a reminder. ill always be here. for you. no matter what. but maybe, just maybe, things are going to change.
|
|
|
|
Friday, March 5, 2004
|
|
im giving up on myself. all of you can watch me burn.
cos sometimes i can only take too much. this time round, this is way too much.
i realise i talk too much. its time for some action.
so fuck u. and fuck me. ive had enough.
all my efforts, not only on u, not only on the fucking bands, are jus a waste.
cos u all didnt bother to understand me cos "oh joseph is so fucking emo"... well so wat if i am.
u dont know me so dont fucking assume anything. action for action. cause and effect. give and take. im always on jus one side. ive never complained before, but now i will. ive had enough. good night.
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
|
|
so we're finally jamming. at tnt. the very first time that marchtwelve jammed (dewi, madnoor, wan, saiful and me) was at tnt. and now the last jamming will be there. things come and go. im glad i still have some sorta friendship with some of them. i kinda am aware that i was never percieved as a main member of the band. im not being bitter here. im stating facts. ask anybody re m12 and wan and dewi's names comes out. well im fine with that
but this i promise u, for the last time, we will rock you out like nobody ever did.
by the way, im not mad. u can cut and paste whatevere i wrote here and place it in your private journals for all i care. for those who knew the band, they know what went on. i jus hope we put aside our diferrences and give this one last one our best. if not for ourselves, then for those who have supported us all these while.
.. who knows.. it might not be the last.
good night emoville.
|
|
|
|
Sunday, February 29, 2004
|
|
carry this on.
dinner wld have been nice. had i got the money to splurge tho. but times have changed. anybody wanna treat me dinner? i have been calculative. too bad
to the well wishers, thak you
and to u, i dont know what to say except learn to swallow some good water and its nice to be weak at times. cos this time round your way over your fucking head and im sick of havng to keep looking at my watch. so much for empty promises
|
Posted by fuck u
at 09:14 p.m.
|
|
Monday, February 23, 2004
|
|
so this is how it ends. its started out beautifully the 2nd time. and now its like this.
good bye, i hope your happier this way my friend. i still love u and will always do. good night.
|
|
|
|
Saturday, February 14, 2004
|
|
i exposed myself to you, and you used that as bombs to bring to me down. stupid me.
im gonna go for a record. personal one i guess. 2 days of slumber. i don't give a shit anymore. if need be, chemicals are in. this is a guaranteed way of not being a nusiance to anybody at all. u dont need earphones.
in all the 365 days in one year that he put me through shit, the one day that i thought could make a difference, no matter how simple it may be,.. argh. you. you just had to take it away. you just had to make me look at the ground again. i wish i didnt knew you. and all your lame propaganda.
good night suburbia
|
|
|
|
Friday, February 13, 2004
|
|
"I may already have.."
how i wished for this. even though the use of the word "may" shows signs of uncertainty, i'll still take that. because im in desperate need of knowing whats happening.
its nice to know that im wrong.
|
|
|
|
Friday, February 13, 2004
|
|
everything seems to have a negative impact on me. im being pessimistic, yes i know. but i believe that that's the best way to deal with issues. somethings regarding me has recently been questioned. my commitment and my friendship. i myself admit i dont make a good person to share things with. but goddamnit i try. sometimes i think i try to hard. so where's the fault in that? keeping mum about events that has happened which hurt you is not advisable. because knowing yourself, you tend to explode when it hits the breaking point. the boiling point. and i hate that.
i felt that i used you. and im sorry, i apologise for that.
for the last time, stop thinking that everything is about you. cos your not even important to me. i can choose to screw you up. i know how. dont make me.
by the way i've put up some more pics on my gallery side. NYE2004, MSC@Snakeweed, and PS:Epilogue. do view them.
|
|
|
|
Monday, February 9, 2004
|
|
this is getting monotonous. mundane. boring.
but you always made the difference. in your own silly ways
plainsunset is over. they have left a big void in our local music scene. but not in our hearts. they made me realise life aint that bad after all. the music will always be around. 3 albums worth. it will always be a big question as to why end it. but if there's any way to break up, that was the way. on top. and as friends. thank you all for the sing-alongs' and music.
i think something big is gonna happen. unless im just to over-sensitive about things. which i usually am. but not this time.. i can feel it.
|
|
|
|
Friday, February 6, 2004
|
|
i've been having mixed emotions/feelings lately. must be them damn prozac. how lovely
im waiting.
|
Posted by batman
at 11:20 a.m.
|
|
Wednesday, February 4, 2004
|
|
I woke up this morning while my breath was trying its best to rush out of my lungs. As if it doesn't want to be there.
I tried to reason out certain issues that I have place myself in, to justify if there are any contradictions with regards to the actions done and the words spoken. Its not very fulfilling to realise that I myself do make errors in judgement. But that's the very thing we often overlook - being accused of something we are guilty of is harder to accept. We dont often do well with self-assessment. 'So true it hurts' doesn't even come up close.
I fly in the night to see where you are and what you are up to. I'm batman.
|
|
|
|
Friday, January 30, 2004
|
|
the breathing becomes shallower with every effort that my lungs take to fill itself up to its maximum. i'm finding it hard to breathe and faking things at the same time. muti-tasking was never one of my strengths. but producing a better image of my situation is. i just have to learn to take out the blade that has been embedded deep, and ease myself. your hand that reaches out all the time is bruised with time, which you shouldn't even be threading on. walking fast was never the answer. if the crowd was questioning your strength, YOU are not obliged to entertain their folly. if it hurts you, it has the same effect on me. because i’m starting to take in the same air that you do. that shows how tight we are. the bond. i’m opening the bags that have been forgotten at the back stage in front of you, but not with hopes that you'd inevitably pity me. no. but with the hopes that you learn to let me see what's behind those clouds that shadows you. lying down on the bed seems to be the best way to ease the tension of the day. its something we should have done in the first place. but i know the motions that have to take place before it evolves to something beautiful.
in the end all you have to do is to look at the folders and see the one true drama that has yet to unfold itself should God so happen to have enough free leisure time to shine his face towards my direction
my proposal of love everlasting.
that was so cheesy Joseph. but it’s ok. nobody takes whatever that you say seriously.
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
|
|
sometimes u disappoint me
but i know u well enough to ignore all that
but sometimes i wish i was the world.
out with the old, in with the new. goodbye blue, hello white. oh my. your a shiny one arent u.
|
Posted by hytrin
at 09:52 a.m.
|
|
Saturday, January 24, 2004
|
|
YOU FUCKING LIED. I HATE U. U FUCKING LIED TO ME. AND U KNOW THAT'S THE ONE THING I CANT STAND. U KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE PEOPLE WHO LIE TO ME. BUT U DID.
i wish i could fucking hate u.
i hate everything.
|
|
|
|
Friday, January 23, 2004
|
|
its been pretty quiet. i wonder whats going on.
i find it harder to speak cos i always end up contradicting myself and some people are just so eager to throw things back at me. i bought u a ticket and u waved good bye.
i hpoe ur feeling better. it doesnt feel right to have u this way. selfish of me. but i just want the best for u. get well soon
|
|
|
|
Saturday, January 17, 2004
|
|
don't start now. not when the bombs have stopped falling like rain. let the calm take me over first. please i beg you.
i used to argue with a certain someone whom i was close with in the past about fate. she firmly believes in it, while i totally detest it. i mean, come on. if its fated for u to get hit by a car while crossing the road.. wouldn't you try to cross the road with more caution? that was me in the past.
now, i resign myself to fate. there's no point fighting it.
fate is my driver now. so drive me far..
|
Posted by fate
at 12:56 a.m.
|
|
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
|
|
Good eye, sniper I shoot, you run The words you scribbled on the walls With the loss of friends you didn't have I called you and the time is right Are you in or are you out? For them all to know the end of us all
|
|
|
|
|
 |
