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-writings on the wall-

[[I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you.]]

.:One last ciggarette, one last fading dream:.

-these are my words-

Friday, September 30, 2005

i cant help myself. since the last conversation, i've been anticipating the next. and i find myself constantly checking whether he's there... what exactly am i feeling? i dont know for sure.. it's getting complicated i see. i'm not too good with complications.. oh well deal with it i guess.

she takes a breath at 04:38 p.m.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

with a good thing, always comes 10 bad ones... one week of break from Uni, and i had to get sick for the whole of it. one week break, and i didnt do any shopping i planned to. one week break, and i have not done any work. *sigh* i'm going down the drain, and i'm not doing anything about it..

but i had some fun anyway... ice skating on Sunday was good.. i didnt slice anything off thank god. Oxleys was good too! had a seafood platter shared by 6! and we entertained ourselves through the night. ahha. but we didnt go go-karting cos everyone cancelled. instead, Sera and i joined Chiew at Surfers! hahaha we just chilled and window shopped. but we bought stuff!! she got my bday gift, a nice black velvety Kustom slippers with beady things on the strap. and i bought myself a cap! whoo! haha. then last minute plan to stay over at Lin's. left the house at about 9pm to meet her, had cocktails (thanks Andrew!) and went to Cybercity for supper! omg.. major pig out session. Lin and i are officially eating buddies now haha!

been lazing around ever since. joined Tash and Anne for Charlie and The Chocolate Factory tuesday night, David came too. my voice was so hoarse, he didnt waste any time giving me crap! but Sera got into deep shit with her aunt... so she had to go home right away. Lin came back with me and stayed the night! it was fun staying up to talk about our home food cravings.. i seriously wanted to eat my hand off... hahah! she's back at Bribie now... :(

hmmm we've kinda accepted the facts now.. after having the little conversations. but i dont think we're overreacting.. it's plain as day. *sigh*

and another thing. i dont know if i really like him... or is it just me being female. i tried to think sensibly last night... and i couldnt help it. but i dont want to play around with feelings. right now, its all fun and stuff. over the webcam and chatting. u're not physically there. but what happens later on? if we do meet up? what do i do then? that last time wasnt counted, cos i was leaving anyway. but now.. i'm continuing it.. do i really want it? eerrrh i dont know!!

she takes a breath at 04:48 p.m.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

wahooo! i'm finally on a break from uni! although it's hardly a break since i HAVE to do my assignments AND study. but still, i'd like to think otherwise. heh. Lin (tasha's) has been here since thurs, and she'll be boarding with us for the break. so weird, having someone sleeping in our living area.

but anyways, i'm having an early start tomorrow morning. meeting for breakie around 9am, and then head to Acacia Ridge (wherever that is) for ICE SKATING. yess. it's been so long since i last went... i hope i dont slice any fingers off. haha! then we'll be having dinner at Oxleys to celebrate Nick's bday later on... sounds like a fun-filled day! will be staying over at Sera's, cos on Monday, we're going Go-Kart racing at Kingston (wherever that is)!! whee! happy days. i think it's my inappropriate way of having fun before i settle down to do my work.

Lin, Sera and i have been shitting ourselves over sth the past week or so.. it's so frustrating/annoying/unbelievable, how can something like this happen? at this age? it's like Primary school all over again. only the topics have progressed to a more mature level. still. it's ridiculous. to think u know someone, then they go around and burst your bubble. it's sad, but the worse part is i think i've accepted fate. i cant see the point in fighting for it anymore. you cant change a person's decision unless they want to. *sigh* life never fails to surprise...

she takes a breath at 11:59 p.m.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

What a bloody eventful weekend! hmm before i say anything else, i'll just get this out of the way. HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, SERA!!!! that's right.. 2-0! *muahaha*

the total party consisted of myself and the girls, plus new group members David, Liam and Trent. and of course Angie and Nick, plus friends Pauline and Jin were there.. and following tradition, Sera was late. haha! anyway, when the group was finally complete, we sat to a nutritious dinner of chips, peanuts, chocs, pizza and drinks. entertainment consisted of the Live telecast of Australian Idol on telly. then we voted for a screening of VanWilder after that.

Taj: That's not a bong... It's for my Schlong! [pause for effect, then Hutch starts to gag]

HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!

D finally gave in to temptation and poured the Tequila shots for us all. and this is where the PARTY began... drunk Phoebe is a human representation of a headless chicken on Ecstacy. i've never had to hide my drink from anyone. Trent and a mouthfull of liquid is not the best combination for watching a comedy. and a Rumpus room with those pull-out sofa beds are risky settings for a drunken party. heh. but homosexual couples make the best bedfellows. cuddling on the bed is innocent here. ;)

one too many shots, and things get a little steamy in there. i dont know if my right leg has fully recovered from the excess exposure, but i'm glad Sera decided to figure out how to open up the other pull-out. it took our minds off the action for a whole 5 minutes! and we gave up eventually, and escaped. leaving them to their fates. ohh not without taking incriminating photographs and videos of course. heh...

it was quite amusing how Sera and i stayed up till 430am with a plan to save them from being caught. morning after. surprising how early everyone arose. it wasnt as awkward as i thought it might be, but there was still a little uneasiness present. and the discovery of the small but not unobvious marking was hilarious! yeah yeah a tree branch did it... sera and i even had to sneak around to save certain dignity and prevent embarassment! but it's all good now.

mid afternoon came and things calmed down thankfully, when Liam, D, Sera and i drove to the city for food. detoured to meet Trent for abit first though... Maccas in the Valley was so satisfying.. then we wasted the rest of the evening before meeting up with other Clan members..

Sera: It's funny how you've met more members of the clan than these people![pointing to the boys]

i agree! when everyone arrived at Brown's Plains, we had dinner at PizzaHut. not very hungry, so i didnt actually eat, but a cold bottle of XXXX tasted good. spent the whole night talking, until the very "discreet" staff decided to drop "subtle" hints that it was time to close shop. so we relocated to outside the restaraunt and continued the conversation... the conversation which never ended. it was past midnight when we finally split ways. D was sweet enough to send us to our doorsteps. THANKS!!

so, i missed a whole Monday of Uni, and basically failed the Physics exam this afternoon. had a few moments of dazed consciousness, and drooping eyelids too. it was a great weekend indeed!

she takes a breath at 04:10 p.m.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

crap! i accidently deleted 2 entries while archiving. no sweat.. they were basically talking about:
(a)decisions on getting broadband internet and how excited i was;
and (b)finally getting broadband and how happy i am! but also about how bad it actually was to have the internet when and where i wanted it.

if you take the time to look through past entries, you may find a consistent pattern, minus few out-of-the-ordinary moments, where the entries were posted mostly at night or on weekends. and if you care to follow up now, they will be very much random. cos my computer use is at MY command. whoo! this brings a certain sense of freedom to my life. i do not have to do things according to the likes and dislikes of others. for example, i dont only use the internet for email, Uni and blog only. now i use it for anything i want! also i have a growing library of music files stored, thanks to my newfound independent ownership of the laptop. (okok Tasha uses it once in awhile, but mostly it's mine!)

so anyway.. what has been happening? well i dont know really.. it feels like NOTHING is happening. it's Spring now, which means Sun + Insects + Sweat + Assignments/Exams = STRESS. god damn and it doesnt help that i'm such a lazy bugger. i seem to find all sorts of reasons to NOT do any work, i.e: get distracted by the inernet/TV!! cant help it, it's in my nature.. heh.

she takes a breath at 02:32 p.m.