feel even more fucked now. fucking network connection cant be detected, which means i have no internet, cant print notes, cant do my assignment. using the PC now.. everything just seems to fuck up at the same time, when i need them the most. fucking assignment is due tmr, and i'm not even halfway done. got to go to FitnessFirst to get pictures later today... so fuckedddddddd!!!!!!!!! erhhhh.

god damn it i cant wait for this week to end... cos that means the last physics pract! i'll have it on wednesday or thursday, hopefully wed. and when that's over, i'm free!!! for a week from uni, although the Mother would be here by then.. but it's all good. Lin's 21st party on Friday! i can have fun for at least 2 days before she comes... really cant wait.. but there's more stress, i dont have a complete outfit! and i gotta get a haircut too. more moneyyy.. need a job dudeeeee... rarr.

she takes a breath at 01:14 p.m.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

i am feeling very fucked right now. for some unknown reason, my MSN just wont open. it signs in, but it doesnt open!!!!! and i dont know what's causing it... must be a fuckin porn virus or sth..(no pun intended) erhhh. i cant fix it... dont know what's going on. so i have resorted to using webmessenger. god that sucks ass. it's so primitive. no pictures, no winks, no sound. nothing. and it's slow. WHYYY MEEE!!?!?!? *sobs*

went for my Physics pract today, finally after a 2 week hiatus. HAHA! was so tempted to skip it again, but glad i didnt cos today's was a breeze! unfortunately, someone told me that the last experiment is a bitch. it takes a long time, and we have to spin around for it. damn INERTIA. have to do that next week since i skipped last week. fuck.

hmmm feeling the panic set in as monday approaches. HMST assignment due, havent started, only went for one session, no photographs, no interviews, probably not enough references too. and i have a 2000 word count to fill. omg. i guess i'm just too fucked to care right now. i'll just do a shit piece essay just to hand in sth. fuck. so over uni now.

she takes a breath at 05:25 p.m.

Monday, October 17, 2005

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY PHOEBE!!!! didnt get the chance to post it till now.. hehe. went out on Sunday, on the actual birthday, but DAMN the rain! couldnt go for the festival at WestEnd like we planned to. so we had BRUNCH in the city, and bowled at Strike! woo i won, after a bunch of crap frames! hahaha. go me! planned to watch Wallace&Gromit at Southbank, so we killed time and played pool. whooo i won again! i think it's sera's absence, it gives me a confidence boost or sth. but DAMN the kids!! it was sold out... so we headed back to the city to watch 40YearOldVirgin instead... hahah funny stuff... you'd think it's cheesy.. but it was pretty good. anyway, plans screwed for the day. it's ok we're having a proper celebrations after semester anyway i think.

so yeah.. i've totally slacked off uni. just cant be fucked anymore hey.. i havent seen uni mates since before my bday i think. haha impressive, i know! oh well. if i'm gonna fail, i might as well go all out. no point failing by a hair... i think it's pretty stupid of me to chose this point in time to decide this. after all, it is almost the end. and what's more, TheMother will be here during SWOTVac, dont see how i'm gonna study much.. and we're driving somewhere for a weekend i think... hmm yeah week before the exams.. great. i'll be on holiday mood even before we start the exams.

she takes a breath at 10:53 p.m.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

bleahhh i feel like dying... ok well my throat is killing me.. i lost my voice, and it's hardly back. and i feel so sleepy these days. wonder what's wrong.. i hope i dont have Stage 2 cancer or sth...

but i think i know what brought on this horrible sore throat. had a BIG night out last night... started getting pumped when i actually got into the city! man it's good to be legal. i FEEL the freedom babyyy. although now i'm getting nagged at more... but whatever. i'll deal with that.. it can never be worse than having the Mother around.. which would be at the end of the month! *groan* anyway, yeah went to Family with a bunch of people i only just met then. and i'm glad i went!! we shall start the network going.. and UQ people are COOL ok. look at us!!! ahaha. had a great time last night. got my ears blasted, was deaf for a bit. and i must profess my love for Smirnoff Double Black once again. Double Black, pleassseee... :D

and i had my first smoke in months... it's weird how you get cravings out of the blue.. hmm better not make it a habit. again. haha! doesnt help when you're a little high. i started asking random ppl for ciggies. like the 2 guys at the bus stop. Ben Affleck? i think NOT! what a couple of sleazebags. inviting strangers to a take a cab to a "party"? hmmm. and the sideways wedgie..? i mean COME ON!! how un-cool!

i hope this wouldn't be a one off... truly enjoyed the company... next time, Lin will be there, i'm making sure of that! heh. WHOO what a fun night out.

she takes a breath at 08:52 p.m.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

i'm watching Oprah. this is the episode where she goes to NewOrleans... and it's horrible what i see on the telly. the destruction from the hurricane and flood is bad enough. but when you put human factors into it, it gets much worse. in times of natural disaster, what in the world possesses people to want to harm others in crisis?? are they not sufferring enough as it is?? how can you rape a child who is just trying to get by without food and water? how can you be so selfish as to shoot someone down, when everyone is living in filth and hopelessness? i just cant understand it...

but it's also amazing to see the human spirit in action. people helping others in need. the advantaged putting their wealth to good use. so people... spare some time to put the survivors and loved ones in your prayers... i believe this is just a warning for the beginning of the end..

she takes a breath at 02:42 p.m.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

finally got hold of the pictures from my 18th... hahaha quite a few interesting ones... and nice ones too! but shit i dont have a scanner, so i dont know how i'm going to upload the ones off Tasha's camera... hmmm. but anyway, i'll link it here, or you could just go to the "me" page and click from there...

so anyway.. Lin stayed over again last night... supposedly so that i would make her go to uni with me... but then, she went to the city to meet Sera instead, while i trotted along in the hot sun to my HM tut... bahh! spent a total of 15 minutes in class! and then bolted out as soon as i got back my assignment. whoo! go ME! had pancakes for breakkie.. mmmm tastes even better with the discount and free Iced Mocha!! thanks Tash! :)

i swear.. i'm gonna do so badly for the end of semester exams.. firstly, i've done badly for a number of tests.. and now my procrastinating behaviour is just gonna make things worse.. *sigh* i have no motivation. but on tues, i actually sat up and focused on life.. in the Psyc lecture, it was based on Sports Psyc. and as i listened to the lecturer ramble on about what it is, and her experiences with blahblah athlete... i thought, HEY. maybe i can be a Sports Psychologist! but then i would have to do a degree in Psychology.. which is so not me.. so there, i'm back at square one again. well i just dont know. i feel like i'm floating aimlessly once again... somebody help me.

she takes a breath at 12:00 a.m.

Monday, October 10, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! and a HAPPY FUCKIN BDAY to sheila fong!!!! whoooo fuck i'm finally legal!! happiness in a bottle. heh.

poolside potluck started at 6, but the girls were there about 4 or 5-ish... so yeah cooked and prepared stuff from 5 onwards... and went down to set up. the party that was already there sang me a nice little bday song. aww real sweet of them! haha hot guys... anyway, we got it going by about 630... but of course with any party, there are bound to be latecomers. grrrr. so yeah make that 7. food galore. drinks, punch, VODKA. mmm couldnt ask for more. ohh but actually i could.

hmmm. was kinda feeling fucked for abit. seriously, i dont understand it anymore. and frankly, i dont wanna give a flyingfuck either. cos it's just all pointless really. why fight the inevitable? shit.

so anyway... we cleared out about 10, when the pool closed and headed up. refreshed ourselves and chilled a little. and eventually left at around 1130... headed down to the Valley and club hopped a little until we got to Belushi's. saw a dick, got a little feisty, drank some drink... yeah the usual! heh. then left after awhile, Andrew and his mate joined us. and split again. haha Daniel Denton... Chiew watch out!! but he's cute... *sigh* i think i am jinxed. seriously, i have no hope.

walked some more, till we ended up drinking at Elephant&Wheelbarrow. and got high... sudden head movements dont go with loud music + alcohol. haha i learned that pretty quick! beat the lockout and left before 3. and went back home... not to a pretty sight i'm afraid. it was tough watching Lin stress like that. i couldnt really do anything, so that made it worse. but yeah. it's all good. and gees i learned more about myself and Chiew... *winks*

so all in all, it was a good birthday. it could have been better.. i could have gotten pissed drunk, and so on.. but hey i have the rest of youthful life to do that! all in good time my friend, all in good time.

she takes a breath at 12:29 a.m.

Saturday, October 8, 2005

i am getting excited... it's saturday morning... which means in less than 18 hours, i will be at MY party... for my 18th of course... it's just a little get together at the Cathedral Place poolside. THANKS LIN! go girlfriend! *does the handshake* about 15 or so people should be turning up... and i made it a potluck, but apparently there's not gonna be enough food to keep us full. oh well deal with it! i'll be ordering pizzas anyway, so no sweat. but you see, i feel guilty, cos i'm not as pumped for this poolside thingy. well not as much as for the night/morning. ohh yeah. i am gonna go get drunk. ok maybe not. but yeah you get the idea.

hmmm more excitement... i CANT WAIT to see some people's reactions... we got metal babyyy!!! hahah go figure. as soon as the weekend is over, i'll be putting up pics. so dont panic people you will soon find out. heh!

rarr. a real spoiler though is Sera's situation. i just dont understand why Angie has to be such a hardass about it all.. i mean, she is 20. how can you make her skip on my BDAY MORNING!?! errrh fuckin frustrated. but yeah i cant really do anything about it. i'll just have to wait for the day Sera moves out. then we'll REALLY be students living overseas... just imagine the life. we'll be at each other's houses more than our own. and uni would virtually be a non-existent priority. mmm sounds like a good life indeed! *drifts off*

she takes a breath at 01:20 a.m.

Sunday, October 2, 2005

oh crap. it's october.. the restart of semester, the arrival of deadlines and exams, the arrival of MY BIRTHDAY, and many more things i cant think of right now. i just know it's gonna be chaos, in every sense of the word. the good, the bad AND the ugly!

and another oh crap!! we were talking last night, and i mustered the courage to bring it up. i mean it is kind of stupid for us to be going on like this without knowing what we're doing. so yeah, i asked him. and he said yes. i mean.. HE SAID YES!! *screams* i was excited just reading it. smiling from ear to ear, banging my head on the keyboard. and he said the words out right.. "Long Distance Relationhip". @?#!^#?$!%?*# well it's not that long really... but still. mehh. i dont know. i'm torn up now. i'm happy and everything.. but i cant stop thinking, "What the fuck am i doing!?"

the age thing.. erhh. i wish i didnt constantly think about it, but it's pretty hard not to. so yeah. i dont know. it's been all fun right up till now. i guess you can say it's the next level. rarr! but really, it isnt that serious. i mean how can it be, it's only online, with the occasional webcam. hardly a relationship really. *sobs* what AM i doing...?

she takes a breath at 08:51 p.m.