Tuesday, November 30, 2004

cold lonely summer

today wasnt such a draggy day, as i expected. for some reason, i woke up at 12noon!! maybe its cos i slept pretty late. anyway, since the whole morning was gone, the day went by pretty quick. went grocery shopping in the late arvo, and i decided to bake some stuff tmr!! sorta like a Welcome Back treat for Tash. *teehee* i cant wait.. hope it turns out nice...

Summerland started today.. omg the first episode was so sad!! at the part where she learns that her sis and bro-in-law died, i went into emotional-breakdown mode. i dont know, crazy thoughts crept into my head.. about friends and friendships- or the lack of. im not gonna elaborate and depress the life outta myself.. its just that i realised how empty my life was. and not in terms of a social life.. its something deeper than that.

i just felt so sad to see Ava have her 3 friends stand by her in her downest moments, and feel that i'm never gonna experience a friendship like that. ppl who put their lives on hold to help, who'd stick with you through thick and thin. grrr. i dont like saying this, but i feel like everything in my life is so superficial... i'm just drifting along, no security. just surviving day to day.

i dont expect anyone to change for me or anything like that. that's just being unreasonable. all i want is that sense of security and belonging. *sigh* someone slap me back to my senses. what's wrong with me?

i also realised that i've got nothing to say to ppl when i talk to them. for example, my mother. everytime she calls, its the same bloody conversation. "have you eaten? did you go out today? what are you doing now?" when Tasha talks to her, it seems like their conversation never ends. i feel so bad when i hear that strain in her voice. she tries, i can tell. but i just dont know what to do about me.

Hafeez asked me yesterday if my sister would be staying here after she finished uni.. he said if she left it would suck. with preconceived thoughts, in delusion i disagreed and said that in 2 years i should have my own friends from uni, and wouldnt have to hang ard her.. right now, im not so sure about that. i keep feeling like i'll never survive life alone. i just pray that i dont die old and alone.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 12:50 a.m.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

third world

my ability to do absolutely nothing in one day amazes me. today, i watched TV and went online. and cooked myself a scrambled egg & silverside sandwich. that's all i did. how sad am i? ohh yeah. chatted with Hafeez too! i'm surprised he remembered me.. had to check if it was really him. hahaha.

well anyway, i was watching this show about Gretel Killeen who brought her kids to Zambia... they were as shocked as i was watching them. life in third world countries are so bleak, they seem to have no hope. things we take for granted like food, water, shelter, clothing and education, they dont even have. i felt so guilty for what i have, and sorry for the kids there.. so many of them are orphaned because their parents died of HIV AIDS, or sth equally horrendous. and Gretel's kids' voice overs kept telling the viewers to imagine life if we were 10 and our parents died, and we had no money, no food, no shelter. i just sat there staring at the tv, my mind was blank. i couldnt even think. ergh. it makes me feel sick to think that there are kids out there who have to worry about if they'd live to see the next day, while here i am complaining about not having things to do, or money to go shopping. whatever...

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 11:04 p.m.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

day of relaxation?

good morning kids. went to Sera's today.. just us girls... till Max and Mark arrived awhile later... had a couple of stubbies while we played her neighbour Maddy's PS2... some ppl are scary drivers.. hahhaha. when i get older with money and my own place, i promise myself i'll get a game console- PS or XBox is fine- with the cool games like NBA, FIFA, THPS, Underground, GTA and manymany more!! wheee... dreaming is funn.

anyway. what is it with people and picking on me?? so i'm small. smaller than most ppl my age. so what? doesnt give anyone the right to pick on me? go pick on someone your own size, MAX! idiot.. i dont gettit. what is so fun about irritating the life outta me? im getting sick and tired of smiling at the jokes. i'm the object of everyone's amusement, how funny can that be? i'm sure as hell not laughing inside. i mean, i know i can get quite touchy sometimes, so i dont wanna make a big deal of it. but still..?? grrr. buggers. whatever.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 03:56 a.m.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

the Graduates of Class 2004

just got back from the Graduation dinner.. or no dinner more like it.. we were slightly late.. and by the time we got there, there was hardly anything left.. boohoo.. my tummy's rumbling! went to Bev's place so we could go there together.. Sera, Lin, Bev and i that is. had fun just being there.. no need for food! everything was just flashing non stop all night.. from the camera flashes i mean.. it wasnt long before all we could see were white spots... and the teachers were all loose and relaxed too. Donna seemed drunk, or maybe its just me and she's really like that... i dunno.. but it was funny watching her do stuff.

and i found more OC addictS!!!! wheee Bev, aka Summ.. and i'm Coop. and we made Lin Anna, cus there aren't any other known female roles. then she said she wants to marry someone like Caleb Nichol.. so we changed her to Julie Cooper.. then she became a self-professed Seth (?!!?) because she started making groping gestures at Bev-aka-Summer. ahahah! like totally! although i'm no where near to Marissa.. but it's nice to dream isnt it? hahaha. how lame can we get? as Summer would say, "Like oh my godd. Eeewww!" hahaha cheap thrills.

[uploaded pics from the Dinner...]

so now, i officially have nothing to do with my life, other than Sera's Beer party on Sat, and then brooding over my expected shit results.. speaking of results, i thought Bio wasnt so bad today.. i could answer most questions.. so i hope those answers are correct. BAH!! school sucks.. Sera and i are so sure that we would be doing supp. papers.. which i dont wanna do! cos if i have to, i must study now..

Strumming my P.A.I.N at 11:19 p.m.

omg!!!! i just figured out why Seth Cohen is so familiar!!! the actor Adam Brody is in everything!!! he was that chinese girl's bf- Dave- in GilmoreGirls, and he was that blonde girl's bf in Smallville!! he was in AmericanPie2 too! omg i love him!! he's soo cuuttee!!! aaahhh!!!! im going mad. can anyone tell? but seriously. i love him. *sigh*

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 3:22a.m.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

guilty pleasures...

i wasted my fucking time and money!!! stupid dye didnt come out so obvious... BAH! my fault though.. i thought it might be too obvious so i left it in for less than 30mins.. my bright ideas... now only the tips look slightly tinted... and im supposed to be studying for Bio now.. -supposed to- but i ended up staring at my books, then at my hair, then at my nails.. and i succumbed to the urge to polish my nails.. ahhaah! lame.. well, if my hair isnt gonna be RAVEN RED, my nails will be sparkly maroon to compensate. HMPH!

Idol finished on Sunday, just before the exams began.. hooray! i put my credit to good use!! well, better than Yvette. she sent 12!!! hahaah.. but yeah.. thankfully we dont have to move to NZ. and i was so glad to see HER again! i couldnt help myself. smiled from ear to ear. she looked hott!!! *grinz* hey fizah.. wanna see who i'm talking about? it's another one of those "things", if you know what i mean... hehehe. think "Sembawang Cheerleader".. hhhahahaha!!! omg i'm crazy.

another sinful TV addiction.. season finale of OC tonight!!! shitt! i wasted the whole night yest watching tv.. and here i go again tonight. but seriously. they said "...an unbelievable cliffhanger..." nooo!!!! i cant take a cliffhanger!! i'll have to wait till next year to know what happens! does Ryan go back to Chino? does Marissa stay with him? does Theresa have the baby?? whyyy!?? but there's a new series starting.. another one of my secret addictions.. heheh OneTreeHill.. this guy in it looks familiar but i cant rem from where.. oh well, we'll have to wait and see.

omg i cant believe i just wrote 2 whole paragraphs about tv programs!! what the hell is wrong with me?! i'm a teenage tragedy...

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 02:37 p.m.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

just 2 days left.

fuckkkkk!!!! the exams will be over in 2 days but shit it was bad.... Chem is totally down the drain u have no idea. it'll be a miracle if i get anything more than a borderline pass. shitt.

Tasha and Dickhead left yesterday morning for Melbourne.. woke me up at bloody 5++am to say bye.. grrr. and today was a day of horrid luck for me.. the trains were delayed due to some power failure somewhere, so i had to take the bus and run up the hill from the city.. BAH! thankfully, lotsa other ppl were late too, so the teachers started 30mins later... phew! managed to catch my breath. but still. my mind was a complete blank... i think i've subconsciously given up, although i dont want to admit it to myself.. i'm still living in the delusion that i can study and do well for Bio.. but.. its BIO. *sigh*

i've just experienced how some ppl can really be inconsiderate to other's feelings. especially with the insults. i mean what good does it do to make someone feel bad abt themself? not like we dont feel bad enough, just add fuel to the fire why dont you, bitch! God. gotta learn when to shut that trap. unless good things come out, maybe it's wise not to speak.

got the inspection on tmr arvo... hope she doesnt ask too many questions or get too fussy with things. ooh! i bought this temp. hair colour.. Raven Red. i cant wait for tmr!!! it better look nice, or i'll be socially screwed. i still have to face the world the rest of the week, so if i look crazy.. i dont even wanna think about it.

speaking of social activities, Thurs evening is our graduation dinner.. held at some budget hotel up the road from school. okok not really budget, but i havent been there b4, so.. anyway, it's the company that matters right?the ticket says "6.30pm till late..." does that mean there are drinks? but i cant since it's a licensed place.. ohwell. have to wait till Saturday for Sera's "beer party" then! hahaha yay! something to look forward to in my otherwise dull existence...

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 12:14 a.m.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

uurrrgghh! shit life.

just completed reading Alibrandi for the 3rd time. or was it 4th? whatever.. im getting sick of studying. Tasha finished hers and now she's so free its driving me crazy. when she's home she just lays around watching tv or reading a book now. fuckin unfair.

but i love reading Alibrandi. i dunno, i relate to certain things in the book. and call me emotional, but i cry everytime i read that chapter with John's suicide. yeah, i sobbed like a baby just now.. disgusting really. but today was the first time i really thought about the issue. when the chapter finished, i put the book down and wiped my eyes. i couldnt continue answering the revision questions. my mind was too occupied with thoughts.

i've never experienced such intense pain and grief. i never knew anyone so close to me that died. even my grandma's death didnt affect me like it should. and i always feel guilty for that. i mean, she IS my grandmother... so i thought about what it would be like to lose someone i love or someone i was close to. then i realised how bad my family life really is. i am so detached from them, except my sister of course, that i have no real feelings towars the issue. i coudlnt even imagine how i'd feel if one of my parents died! how sad is that. im pathetic really. its frustrates me to know that i hardly have a relationship with either of them, and what's worse is that they're both alone without us. its the kids that keep the parents together, i agree. but if the kid doesnt communicate with either of them, what do you do then?

i used to always harbour resentment towards my parents for what they did. at first, i hated my father for being what he was did to my mother. (at this point in my life, he would be known as Dickhead..) then when i grew older i hated my mother for so many reasons i thought were justified. and i never get along with her. and in between i hated my sister for always making me get in trouble, and seeming like she was fighting me and making my mother join her side in the battle. but now with maturity comes mature thoughts.

i've had 1 or 2 "grown up" conversations with my father. and i felt that little bit more attached. regarding my mother, i think i'm beginning to get tired of fighting with her. or maybe i'm delusional, and in actual fact things will be just as we left it- destructive. but i have hopes. but still. i think its way to late to build a relationship with your parents. how do i do it? its seems impossible. but i dont want to just leave it like that.

right now, my life feels so empty, meaningless even. i dunno. maybe its just the exams getting to me. but i highly doubt it seeing as how little i've put into it. but anyway, what's to become of me in years to come... as in family i mean. and right now, there's not one person i can really say that means that much to me, that if he or she died i would be helpless and lost. not that i dont appreciate my friends.. i do!! but why have i been holding back from everyone i know? i've had a few ppl i know that mean alot to me, but i think a couple of them, i screwed it up somehow. lost it. or even worse. how would ppl i know react if I died? since i wont feel the hurt and pain, how many ppl can i count on in this life? but other than that, nothing. just cold emptiness. i feel so alone..

how the fuck am i supposed to continue studying now with this bloody depression in my heart?! fuck it Nad, what a moron.

[this is just depressing im sorry, i had to get it out]

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 04:39 p.m.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Thursday already!?!

holy SHIT its Thursday already! 3 days left to study till the freaking exams start. i am so screwed its not funny.

firstly, certain people can get so bloody inconsiderate. its amazing! what do you say to someone who disregards the fact that there are ambitious people around who need to study, and just plops themselves infront of the telly, which is in front of me, and raises the volume so they can hear what the freaking Cricket commentators are saying? arrggghh.. what a DICKHEAD!!!

well, i feel much better now that he left around a couple of hrs ago.. peace and quiet. but the weird thing is, i cant study in complete silence. i need music, at least in the background, but i cant concentrate when the telly is on either. the mind is a fickle thing.

i also recently noticed that Tasha's absence makes me feel lonely in this house. even if the Dickhead is ard.. everytime she stays out all day cos of work, it feels like the house is too quiet. and when she gets back, i feel better, happier, somehow. weird isnt it? sibling attachment starts late for me. anyway, it was her last exam this morning, so she was out all day, i think she went to the beach.. (not fair!!!) and she'll be out for dinner too. *boohoo* i'm gonna be all alone again.

just one more random thing before i go.. Tasha gave me this fact sheet thingy which she got from her Libra pad packaging..(?!) Did you know that clouds fly higher in the day? Did you know that 1.5billion kg of chocolate is consumed worldwide each year? Did you know that the King of Hearts in the only king without a moustache? biological info.. Did you know that a foetus acquires fingerprints at three months? finally.. Did you know that the longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds? well... now you know... hehe.

study hard guys!! we can do it!

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 05:20 p.m.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

UNmotivation?

the start of SWOT VAC is proving to be a little on the unproductive side. i only JUST finished reading through Phys notes.. which is far from enough! God only knows how much more work needs to be done. and i still have TS, Chem and Bio to start. *sigh* why am i so unmotivated?? Gotta pull up my socks and settle into study mode NAD!

Carly called on Monday morning to tell me that i had to come in to see Jenny regarding the UQ guardianship thing.. so i went today, at 11am.. and guess what?? i saw her for 2 mins! im not joking.. all she did was give me a form to take home. BAH! its ok, i used the com to upload old pics.. so it wasnt a total waste.. but then, i have to go back tmr to return the bloody piece of paper. whyyy....

i also saw Max on my way to Central. he was on HIS way to sch to study. "The computer is a distraction at home." i cant say that for myself, since i hardly get to use it here! but to all you computer addicts out there.. watch out! it could one day lead to your misery. in terms of education, lead to failure for not studying. hehehe...

i was listening to this guy on the train tell 2 old ladies that a thunderstorm is coming, from the build up of the humidity here. dont know if it's true, but the forecast said there might be showers tmr.. so i'm hoping it'll ease the heat in Bris.. and i really think the heat is the cause of my UN-motivation. i felt really tired again today, and napped for half to 1 hr b4 continuing with work. arrrrhhh. the heat can only get worse.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 06:03 p.m.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

RAYA RAYA RAYA!!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE!! hahaha.. what a wonderful occassion it is! ri-ght... couple of days ago- Saturday- Tasha was saying that we can finally eat the cookies mummy sent cos its Hari Raya.. then i told her we dont deserve to celebrate Raya.. we didnt suffer with the poor and hungry, so what's there to be happy about. smartass replied, "hey we suffered ok! we suffered because in this environment we have no choice but eat.. its impossible!" or sth like that.. sooo. my sister isnt the angel i thought she was after all!! hmmm.. but we had our own celebration right here at home anyway!

woke up bright and early to go to the supermarket.. wanted to save time so we could study after. cooked for abt 2 hrs and we feasted!! Ayam Masak Merah, Prawn Sambal and Bergedil with Pulau. (direct translation: Red-cooked Chicken, Chilli prawns and Potato Patties with spiced rice.) mmm YUM. but talk abt self-praise!! my sister is Queen! haha but she deserves it anyway.. i told her abt Fizah helping her mom till her legs ached.. then she said she kinda felt that too.. lame! so all in all it was fun today..

weirdly, my darling sister is starting to scare me with her eating habits. nothing life-threatening, just that she gets hungry like every other minute! i was full from lunch right up till dinner, but she kept bugging me to eat!! then i was even fuller (is that a word?) after, and she made chocolate pancakes!! stolen from work of course.. PIGG i tell you! she better be careful.. YOU ARE WHAT U EAT. today we're chicken, potatoes, prawns, chilli, and chocolate pancakes. Mmmm.

for some reason the 2 of us had a little bonding session. maybe its the festive season getting to us, but we sort of had a lot of communication between us today! im impressed and happy at the same time. nothing deep and meaningful, just bonded over cooking, then eating, then cleaning, then eating again, then Idol, then cutting fruit, etc. we laughed at everything and nothing. it was hilarious. i think our neighbour thinks we're mad. oh well! life's short. cant spend it being boring.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 11:19 p.m.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

not so wet anymore...

ok, to please Sera, its not wet anymore. its bloody hott! like 34degrees hot! i feel like im baking in my room everyday now.. its disgusting really. the weather did a 360 in less than a week. i dont know whether to be happy or sad..? *sigh*

the last week of school ended.. now, its all up to us to seal our fates.. i also sent in the QUT and Griffith applications on Friday, for emergency purposes.. heheh.. Sera did it for the sake of it! "see if i can get in.." !!! but yeah. if i do get accepted, that's good, cos at least i know im not completely useless.. but if i dont make it to UQ, im dead.. i dont think i wanna travel all the way to GoldCoast to study.. but it would be kinda cool.. living by the beach.. BAH! my priorities are way off! anyway, because of the terrible heat, it's pretty difficult to study.. i feel like sleeping all day just to avoid the heat. its really bad.. i think from Monday i'll go to Toowong Library and make use of the Air-con...

well, that's about all i can think off at the moment.. gotta go back to the books.. i need every minute i can get!! wish me luck ppl...

oh btw, HAPPY BELATED TO FELY!! not that i forgot, i just didnt post it here.. glad u had fun amidst the craziness that is the As.. take care girl! *shhmuaackks*

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 10:32 p.m.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

its raining and pouring...

this week is sucha waste of time!! since the syllabus is complete, we have no reason to go to classes. so now, we dont have Phys, Chem or Bio lessons or Lectures... so its only Math seminars and TS revision.. which is also a waste of time, but i want a good attendence heh! good thing is i get to wake up later and leave earlier. whee! this is the life. but shit. next week is SWOT VAC! then that'll end really soon, and the exams will be here. im screwed. i havent even gotten past halfway!! really need to mug this weekend and SWOT VAC.. no time to lose!

had lunch in the City before heading home. went to Woolies, and it started to rain like the end of the world was here!! i "hung out" for awhile waiting for it to subside, then trudged home trying not to get wet. gave up walking carefully, so i walked barefoot all the way.. it was fun.. if i didnt have a bag with me, i would have just played in the rain!! brings back old memories of IJTP. when we had our fun after training by sliding in the water-filled slope on the track... hahaha!!! those were the days man.. when we didnt have a care in the world! *sigh*

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 04:15 p.m.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

the rains are here!

the weather is sooo depressing these days.. what ever happened to beautiful springs? its just gloomy and wet now.. the rain has been pouring non-stop since last nite.. Okeden St. has turned into a mini waterfall-cum-swimming lagoon. i think i just saw 3 ppl in their bathers walk by! it was so funny when the rain got even heavier awhile ago and i was running ard trying to save the house from flooding, closing the windows and doors.. i just hope this weather doesnt keep up till the exam week. it'll prove to be real difficult getting to school early!

Tasha and Dickhead are out cos he had to go to the doc's.. dont know what's wrong with him. again.. maybe cos he's so inactive now that all the problems are coming out. oh well.

speaking of inactivity, i'm becoming a slob too.. ok it's not as bad as i think, but i havent done ANY exercise since months ago! put on weight like there's no tomorrow. i've made a promise to myself though.. when the Exams are over, im going to make it a point to go for runs. maybe even do weights.. in Perth too, and when i go back home.. i MUST. i NEED to. at this state, it'll only get worse!

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 12:04 p.m.

Friday, November 5, 2004

waiting.. still waiting....

didnt go for the Phys lecture tody.. not my fault though, the train was delayed cos sth was stuck under the bridge. or sth like that. but i had to come anyway, needed to use the com to print notes and shit.. but i have to wait till they're freeee! so im waiting now. grrr. im so bored...

and i'm so hungryyyy.. but i havent eaten today.. see how long i'll last till i give in to temptation.. heehee! this year is such a bad year.. hope Dad never finds out.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 12:33 p.m.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

done with seminars! last leg of the race...

i can finally say i'm FREEEEEE!!! no more seminars!! well, maybe till uni starts.. but its overrr! did the Math one today.. i cant believe after trying to stretch that freaking question, i only took up 4 mins.. Max just HAD to ask more qns.. draw this-and-that graph.. why this-and-that? arrrgh! think i'll only scrape through cos of it.

the end of this week will prob be spent on revision. i mean, all the sems are done, the syllabus is finished.. only thing left is revision. i only hope i make good use of the time left. really cant afford to slack!!
note to self: bring home the texts and start mugging woman!!

ooh. last night i had a strange, yet nice dream.. i was at some place with Someone, i think it was the movies or sth like that.. and for some reason we were under attack, or were in danger. and i cant remember what happened, but the main thing was that Someone saved my life!! ahahah.. and that someone carried me throughout the rest of the dream. and i felt so protected.. *bleah* it sounds so lame and cheesy, and childish.. but that feeling of being with someone was such a comfort to me.. it gave me the sense of security... or at least to my dream-self.

but the weird thing is, that was the 2nd dream with that Someone in it! is it a sign? i dont know.. but it would have done more good if it was a few mths back? doesnt really help now that i've made up my mind... *sigh*

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 09:44 p.m.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

California... Here we COME!!

oooh! why cant life be like it is in NewPort, Orange County... they have it all! money, popularity, looks, really cool houses. you name it. i hate myself for getting sucked into the shit they put up on television these days.. i mean its so unrealistic its ridiculous! but still, wouldn't it be nice... another one to add to the list.

let's see. (just let me dream for a minute here..) if i had the choice, and the money of course, i would like to live in somewhere like NewPort.. oooh. it'll be lovely! but when i come back down to earth and step outside my mind, i'd tell myself i was lame and stupid. think about it. nothing is THAT good. no matter what. not everyone is just as they were if they walked off the set of The OC. BAH! i'm rambling now! but don't you just LOVEIT!?!? *sigh*

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 10:23 p.m.

slap the Slacker.

i'm home so early today... the last of the seminars were presented today, so we got off early. which is good. seeing as how i'm so unproductive at night.. Television is a sin i tell you! but i have agreed to help Tash in her quest to fight the finals, i.e exams. so her proposed mission, if i choose to accept, is to watch no more than 1hour of Television per day. yes 1hr=60mins=3600secs. and i, being the TV bum that i am, chose to accept to the best of my ability. BAH! i know only good can come out of this, but i'm already finding it difficult organising that precious hr with each day's TV guide! what am i to do?! ok, for now, i'll just go with it and see how i survive.. only 3 weeks till the exams, better make the best of it!

i'm feeling a little nervous about my current attitude towards studying. i mean, it IS only 3 weeks till the final, and i havent got my ass off that comfortable seat in life. if it was anyone else, im sure they would be jumping out of their seat by now... grrr. i wish i wasnt sucha slacker. somebody slap me!

ok better get off now. we're ordering pizzas for dinner! whoo! later.

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 05:27 p.m.

Monday, November 1, 2004

i'm a young Ornithophobic.

had my seminar today... it was fine.. normal.. although the nerves were just killing me! and when i finished, my ears were freaking hot!! Phoe told me that it was kinda red... heehee i dont blush but my ears turn red. lame.

Tasha is sitting next to me and bugging the life out of me, she's reading every word i type out loud... what and idiot.. shuttup and study woman!! ( btw, that whole para was meant to be for her... since she's reading it. so.. arrrh!) making fun of me with her stupid Psyc shit.. "mental retardation..?" har.har funny. NOT.

anywayyyy. the Bird Phobia, AKA Ornithophobia, has climaxed today.. walking home, passing Sherwood St. this stupid RAVEN was above my head, looking down.. shoulda've seen me watch it! i was really preventing attack at all costs! arrrrhhh... this sucks..

Strumming my P.A.I.N. at 10:56 p.m