well that's the end of another week. but this week was different! i had two assessments due. the debate went relatively well, although i probably wouldnt be getting any extra marks since i didnt contribute any more than my presentation. but then today's exam was fucked so it all evens out. man i dont think i'm even gonna get 10marks out of it.. yay. BUT! i got back my critical review yesterday as well, and Ian had to tell me that it was late (by almost a week) and that he isnt supposed to let me off, but he told me i got a 6 anyway. that meant nothing cos i had no standard to work with. THEN! he came back and told everyone that the lowest was 4.9 and highest was 6! holy shit. i should do more last minute papers huh... yay for me... i suppose i can breathe a little easier for the next few weeks cos there arent any assessments till after the easter break. but i know i have a whole pile of reading to do, especially for Olympic Studies. mehhhhh.

for now i will just sit here on my bed and admire my newly-cut hair. yess i cut it again. $30 a month is decent i guess. and then i will sit here and wait for FamilyGuy to start. all 4 hours yay.

she takes a breath at 06:34 p.m.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

debate tomorrow arvo. wish me luck dudes!!! i think i'm gonna time myself right now just to make sure... be right back...

crap. i either have to speak faster, or take out some stuff. right... anyway!

so... besides that.. life's going swimmingly. i suppose. it's kinda passing me by at the moment, i'm not really processing it. too fast. does not compute. system overload... rarr! but yeah. i dunoo i feel like i'm not doing much but time is going faster and faster, and it's like i know something is going to happen, but i cant predict what or when. because it's all just flowing by at this point. am i rambling? i think i am. i've been sleeping late and waking up early(er) this past couple of days. damn groupwork. and regarding that pressing issue.. it's still very much unresolved. which FUCKIN SUCKS. i mean if i cant do anything about it then what's the bloody point eh...

oh i'm hoping to get another haircut on sunday. since i have a group meeting on monday now grrr. but yeah just a trim and thin. nothing fancy. or is there??? nahh.

back to the point. i mean i cant do anything really. it's not something i can get proactive about. or can i? well i can. but it would take a lot of effort and involve loss of dignity i think. and i dont know if i can handle that right now. i guess i've sort of started with the hair. will i work my way further? it's kinda late in the stages i think there's not much work that can be done in that department, so i have to look elsewhere... wow it gets complicated. and this is just the personal. what about life and career and all that shit?? i've got so much to think about at this point in my life. this transition period between student and work SUCKS. it really does. just the student part sucks as it is.

fuck that was just a load of bollocks. i know i'm rambling here but i need to ramble. there are things in my head i need to get out. but i cant categorise them right now. it's all over the shop. maybe i'm sleepy. bloody hell just remembered about the exam on Thursday morning too. *cries*

she takes a breath at 12:13 a.m.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

went out late last night only to be home about 3 hours later... wasnt exactly a waste tho cos i got to see Jan smashed and she couldnt walk straight HAHA. it's nice to know that responsible adults are capable of being irresponsible too. and to know that i was the soberest of the lot! so i got home, and stuffed my face before i got into bed to watch tv. i cant remember what was on, but i somehow stayed up till 1 or 2. and how bad that turned out to be cos i didnt wake up till midday today! =S

but there's just something i cant get off my mind lately... it started again a couple of months ago i guess. and somehow, the chopped-off locks seem to cement the whole issue. it's like my subconscious has taken over, and resistence is futile. but over the years, i've realised that it doesnt have to be black and white. like in Singapore, you're either one or the other. but over here, and everywhere else that i've seen now, there's no magazine cut-out image. it's the inside that counts. and that's the whole fuckin problem. i dont know what i am! i've had a few dreams just this year. and everytime i wake up from them, i get so stressed out and emotional and whatnot. it's like, FIGURE IT OUT ALREADY NAD. and there's definitely no one i can talk to. except maybe a couple of ppl back home. but that's just too difficult cos it's not enough chatting online i need face-to-face emotional support!!! i dont know what to do now and it's freaking me out. if i cant figure which way to go i'll be forever stuck in this limbo and life will be wasted. it's useless waiting for something to happen cos god only knows i've done so for the past 3 years. hmm maybe that's it i have to stop waiting around and get out there. or do something. just something. i suppose i have to be more proactive and take control. or whatever. but where the hell do i start? what do i do? who do i approach? how will i know? this is ridiculous. why cant life be a TV show... everything is set in print for you. well, in script. i wouldnt have this problem if it were so. FUCK.

and so, like in sociology, i try to study society and it's processes. and to do so, i have to conduct empirical research, sometimes by getting first hand experience. and so i start with the internet and network my way around. lets see how that works out!

she takes a breath at 09:48 p.m.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

i found a GREAT bargain today!! got the KillingHeidi album (FINALLY) at $10 AND it was SIGNED by the band WOOOT! gotta love those pre-owned goods... the owner must have really needed the money if they sold off a signed copy. but i win so YAY!

i have 'promised' myself i will do some work before the new week. i even went to the library to get a text yesterday! and have i done anything? no. what a sad realisation this is... leapards dont change their spots... my spots will always be spotty. oh well.

she takes a breath at 05:59 p.m.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

aye... first week has ended and we're well into the 2nd. and boy i feel the work piling up already. so much to read, assignments to start.. and i'm already feeling sleepy in classes. YAY. going well nadd! tomorrow's a long day i better get some rest. soon...

i just hope i wont be going out anytime soon.. drinking i mean. Saturday was a bad experience i never want to relive. truly painful.

she takes a breath at 11:09 p.m.