Happy Australia Day, mates. well it was on Saturday, but it's a public holiday today anyway. the blog has been stagnant for a couple of weeks, i know... i'm blaming it on all the fuckin graveyard shifts i've been getting since the year started! mehh. but then again, i think i'm getting jibbed for shifts now... only got 3 this week.. so i have the next 3 days off too. and what better way to spend the public holiday than to have a drinks session at our Manager's house! yep.. i should be going soon, but i just woke up so yeah.

anyway, i should make a note on what's been happening. went bar crawling on Thursday with chiew. just around southbris and westend. and i've decided that i heart RumpusRoom. was on my way home from the city when i found some workmates at Murphy's so i joined them and proceeded to the Vic. didnt lose anything this time thank god! but i think i've come to the realisation that i may be more attracted to the straight ones... why?! chatted and kinda picked up with this very confused chick. well she hasnt replied my text so whatever. and last night i ended up at Glam@Fluffy. again. was there pretty late though, stupid customers and their birthday party. and as i expected they were waaay trashed by the time i got there. but i bumped into a couple of others i knew so it wasnt too bad. AND THEN WHILE I WAS ON THE DANCEFLOOR STAGE I SAW HER AGAIN. *cries* if i had one or two more drinks in me i was ready to finally go up and talk to her. but i probably would have been rejected since we kinda got off on the wrong foot. me and my stalker-like ways. Aahhhh she was soo hot as always, in her shortshorts haha. but this time i think i can say that she's not straight. i just wish i could find out more about her before i make a fool of myself next time. in my drunken daze, i promised myself that i would approach her next time i see her. it could be this weekend... ohhh the excitement is killing me!

she takes a breath at 03:59 p.m.

Friday, January 18, 2008

i lost my stuff again last night!!! *cries* went to the Vic after work, chiew came in for drinks... but then she didnt get to come in with us cos someone was wearing sandals! idiots. anyway... decided that i wanted to get slightly drunk last night.. good ol 2 for 1 drinks. and i think i did, but then it was just dull. anyway, i dont know how i lost my stuff cos i checked my pocket every 5 mins! must have been the point when i was drunk HAHA. not good. cos they dont have it with them at the moment. i have no ID and no bank card... what the fuckkk. i'm slightly annoyed.

and now i'm very tired and sore from moving pancake boxes again last night. grrrrr... it's going to be a looong weekend.

she takes a breath at 04:16 p.m.

Monday, January 14, 2008

went to Fluffy last night. met up with Nizz and made a new friend too! and it's sad that she's not interested cos she's cute! but at the same time, i'm glad that i'm meeting new people and having a wider network now. i'm getting out of the Pancakes loop and it's a good feeling. buttt i still am very much a part of that same loop. and i guess some drama is good in life HAHA! but on a serious note, i think i'm at a point where i want to meet someone and get into a relationship or whatever. these are some experiences in life that i need right now, but i just dont know where to start. or how to start. but i'll get there i suppose. i need more time. and money gahhh. i think i spent 150 bucks last night. that's reeeeaaally bad, and i cant keep going like that! =/

she takes a breath at 07:06 p.m.

Friday, January 11, 2008

ayeee. last night was interesting indeed. why does alcohol induce such stupid and reckless behaviour in me?? *cringes* i am a tool. and a big one. now everyone will know of my trashy adventures from last night. i'm pretty sure everyone who was there heard about it if they didnt witness it themselves. i didnt realise we could be seen from behind the door. fuckin glass. well i just hope it was just a one night/only when we're drunk thing. cos i really cannot deal with these Bi girls they mess with your head and your feelings and it isnt right that i have to suffer. which inevitably i will. so i should just cut the cord while i can.

and cos i was out drinking, i went back to pancakes for food, as i always do. and i dont know how but i agreed to fill a kitchen shift next week! god damn it. i am too easily persuaded. i should stop wanting to make everyone happy. at least i can take comfort in the fact that i'm working with Chris and Lam, that should be fun haha. we'll see how much chaos i can cause when Wednesday comes around...

she takes a breath at 02:58 p.m.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

YAYYY chiew is back!! hahaha i'm so excited i can hardly contain it! i have friends again... meeting up later today for dinner and we're going to WestEnd.. maybe i'll meet some chickies there too hehe... but with progress on the lovelife front, well there isnt any at the moment. but Sunday morning was a weird one for me... that chick i met awhile ago came into work and we ended up hanging out at her place all day! and no we didnt do anything. turns out, she was already with her girlfriend that time i met her. and i knew it but i didnt really care. how bad is that? i'm turning into some kind of whore... but the thing is, this isnt actually a big deal in the "community"... but still, i dont want to be one of those people! i couldnt... but it seems like i already have, 3 different people since it all began... *sigh*

on the other hand, i'll probably be out on Thursday for Carlos' leaving party thing... and some newbies might be there too hehe. so we'll see what happens then! i hope nothing happens tho... i dont really want anything with her. and frankly, i'd like to stop the incestual environment at work! it's not healthy and it's too complicated. and it fucks with your head all the time cos you cant get away from these people, unless you quit. and i dont plan on quitting anytime soon. i've already seen some people suffer from this, and i dont want to join them.

she takes a breath at 02:15 p.m.

Friday, January 4, 2008

what a great first shift for the year! bar shift on a very quiet night. got out early if not on time and managed to get a couple of drinks in. but damn the rain it's not stopping for no one. it's just too cold and wet it was pretty dead out tonight. thus why i'm awake and online at 3am cos i've still got a little high left in me. also cos tonight got me thinking. a couple of "straight" girls apparently werent acting very straight with each other... well this was coming from a very drunk person so he wasnt such a reliable source. but if so, i missed all the drama!! damn work. but as i headed home, i spoke to one of them on the phone, and i dont know but i just cant put my finger on it. something is off. again with the damn vibes. stupid newbies. but i have to say when they came into work before heading out, i had to look twice. some people just look that little bit more different out of work clothes. and that little bit more attractive. ok i should shutup.

she takes a breath at 03:15 a.m.

i dont know why, but i had a very disrupted sleep last night. i was actually dead tired from all that heavy lifting of boxes of alcohol and pancake mix and my arms are cut and a little sore now. but i woke up 3 hours later and couldnt get back to sleep. and i think i know why. it's starting again. this over-thinking of things that probably mean nothing and me being paranoid and delusional. why cant things just happen as it is? why do i have to get all excited over nothing all the time? it's too soon to tell, but i'll have to spend some more time to know for sure. and also time outside of work. and this time i hope i dont jump to any conclusions and make assumptions like i did before...

she takes a breath at 04:46 p.m.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Welcome to 2008, kids! i feel... nothing at all. except that i had a lot of laundry, some new cds and books, and now i need a new calendar for the wall. Perth was fun for the most part. i just needed to get away i guess. although i did miss being in Brisbane and miss all the gatherings across the week. yeah i meant getting pissed at work. but now i'm back and things will get back to normal. but some shite happened before it get's better..

no they didnt come round to the house on NYE. and i was pretty upset by it. i dont know what i was thinking or expecting, but i really wanted to hang out on NYE. and so when i spoke to her on the phone i was getting a little depressed. so the vodka i got for us went to good use then. must have drank too much too quickly, cos i decided then to tell Mum. after i decided to stay home and watch Foxtel on NYE. yeah it was that kind of night. and so when i got to it, i broke down. i dont know why. the stress of having to come out, and the stress from disappointment. and the stress of being alone on NYE again. well she was fine, i had no worries about that. but i have a feeling that she now thinks we can be best buddies since i told her all that. not. in the middle of my confession she had the tact of algae to nag about me drinking and smoking. WHAT does that have to do with anything?? errghh.

well when all was said and done, Mum asked me if we were "an item". HAHA! i just said no. easier than explaining the real situation. but yeah i'm pretty sure she's seen some things in Brisbane that would lend some truth to it.. damn alcohol! then Yvette asked if she was my girlfriend too. *sigh* am i that obvious... well i'll be going to Melbourne for Yvette's 30th birthday in Feb.. maybe i can get out of my head and get distracted. i'll be there for over a week. it should be fun, i cant wait! already started researching the place heh. always good to be prepared! but yes.. i REALLY need a distraction to start me off. i have to get over this. clearly, i'm not getting anywhere. and there's no point in me sticking around and waiting for a chance. cos i'm just killing myself.

she takes a breath at 03:25 p.m.