OH man. am currently recuperating from a BIG night out.. started with Lin's farewell drinks at the RE... chiew joined us too, then headed home to change for the Australia Day Eve party @ Family!!! oh mannn.. had the BEST time in a club EVER! surprisingly we werent stuck in a bloody queue all night. got in pretty quick! and am thanking god, cos the $20 was well spent! i've discovered my love for House and Dance. all thanks to the fabulous DJ KraftyKuts. kudos mate! the crowd was great too... had a lot of dancing, some smoking... some drinking... too expensive to get wasted at a club, unfortunately. and i feel bad, but the thorough enjoyment overrides any bad feeling, for i managed to convince Chiew to stay through the 3am lock-in/out!

we waited for the first train at 6am! and got home, where chiew was out cold, while i spent an hour on the phone with Sera. seeing as how we woke her at 3am, and she couldnt get back to sleep. heh. well, Chiew left my place at 940 to catch her train to get to the city to catch her bus to get to Hyperdome, after less than 3 hours of sleep. cos she had to work! hahah poor girl. THANKS BABE!!

yeah well i had 2 hours, cos when Chiew left i couldnt get back to sleep. i felt too grimy. mann i was going on pure adrenaline for most of the night.. my brain was telling me to sit and rest my legs, but the adrenaline made them go faster and faster! i dont know how i did it! we danced the whole night!! i swear. i'm so glad we decided to go anyway!!!

Advance Australia Fair. let's hope she actually advances!

she takes a breath at 12:28 p.m.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

i am melting in my own filth in my sauna-temperatured room. well, up to the point where i had a cold shower 20mins ago anyway. but it wasnt cold in the first place!! the sun heats up the water pipes, which in turn heats the water. so i had a colder-than-body-temperature shower. which did some good. i dont feel like falling into the abyss of uncomfortable sleep now. i never thought i'd be saying this, but i wish i was at work!! it has all the plus points, rather than being at home. firstly, i'd be getting paid. secondly, i'd be indoors with some form of internal cooling. and i'd be occupied with actually doing things, so i wont get bored out of my mind!

having the sun has its rewards too. laundry dries remarkbly faster now! but other than that, i dont see the point. i want STORM!! *sinister grin* MUAHAHAHA! let it hail!!

she takes a breath at 03:45 p.m.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

i CANT believe she told the Mother about what i said! what a bloody RAT! oh my god... she's turning fuckin 24 this year and she still acts bloody 12. oooh Mommy! Nadia said the F word! oooh! oh no! what a naughty girl! and of course the Mother will find means and ways to reprimand me somehow. fuckthat. yes we were not brought up to use vulgarities against each other. when we're joking it's different. FUCK OFF! I WILL SAY FUCK WHENEVER I WANT. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKKKK! bitch.

righto ok. anger management in progress here. but seriously. why does she see the need to tell everything. i'm 18-almost-19, and the Mother isnt here. so what. i used vulgarities. so SUE me. you bloody nerd. shit.

anyway whatever. Beth is back from wherever she went, so now she's stolen all our shifts! bloody hell i'm only working 3 days- the weekend. godd i need all the hours i can get now, cos when uni starts, it doesnt look too good from here. at the moment i've planned my timetable and am hoping to get Friday free after a 2pm lecture. so if all goes well, i can get a long shift on fridays! and there's sat and sun. yeah i totally do not need to study nor rest. i am a robot. i live to work. MEHH!

she takes a breath at 09:44 p.m.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

ok Tash is back. the world as i know it has returned to normal. although i still think this house wasnt made for 2+1.5... yes the Sloth makes up for more than one normal human. and that's NOT a compliment. got the day off today. and a good thing too cos it's raining out, great weather to be home.

anyway, more pressing matters at hand! overheard Tasha's telephone conversation a day or 2 ago.. plans for the near future were discussed. something about after graduating this december, home for a couple of months, and back here to look for a relevant job/PR application. all that sounds great. but then it's not so great to hear about plans for starting Joint Accounts at the bank. omg is she fucking planning to MARRY the SLOTH!?!? what is the matter with her!? shite. this is looking bad. at least twice a week she shouts at him to bloody pull his weight around the house. (not in those words of course) and that is a considerable amount to be pulling, mind you. and every single one of those times he says no he cant because I HAVE TO DO THIS ON THE (fucking) GAME, and THIS IS A GOOD GROUP AND YOU DONT GET TO PLAY WITH THESE PEOPLE MUCH, and PISS OFF etc... how is THAT shit worth living with?? i seriously dont understand. it's all too fuckedup to comprehend.

maybe i dont want a boyfriend after all. if there are any more like that out there, you can keep them world. keep them away from me. one here is more than i can handle without going insane.

she takes a breath at 03:09 p.m.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

woah ok i have to get something off my chest.. well it happened on friday night. worked a late closing shift. but luckily i got a lift to toowong from Lauren's mom. anyway, Rosanne was having more drinks at the RE that night. i called up sera to see if she was up for it, but she was at home.. so i talked to her abit. still on the phone when i walked in. the house in darkness except for the TV glow. i barely saw Tash sitting there, but i didnt hear her on the phone. so i walked past to put my shoes out, and accidently pulled the phone cord out.

so ok. i said sorry when she shouted at me for it. and told her off for leaving all the lights off and not telling me to watch out for it... and she went off her head. i was tired and dirty. and wasnt putting up for her shit. she told me that "it's not my fault if you're grumpy. but you dont have to be rude." and i lost it. so i told her to FUCK OFF just loud enough to hear as i walked by her seat. and that was the very first time i did.

and omg how guilt eats you up. it's a weird and wonderful thing. it brings you back to reality, it makes you more aware. it makes you realise things you never noticed or cared about. i realised that night and the days after that i still have respect for people. and the guilt showed that i respected her as my sister, and as someone older. and i hope i never say that to her again.

she's off camping with Brandon for a couple of days. so it's me and Sloth of the Century in our little shack. and boy am i not looking forward to the next day or so. thank god i'll be working, so at least part of my day is Sloth-free. HOORAHH! *sigh*

ohh. Lin leaves for SG tmr morning.. for 3 weeks. and when she comes back, our sunny island set in the sea will lose one more of it's growing kids. her sister is starting at IES this year! haha. hope she doesnt miss me TOO much hahaha.

she takes a breath at 10:40 p.m.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

ok i just realised how bloody lame my life is at the moment.. hahaha! read the sad entries for the past 2 or so months! *sigh* why cant things happen for me?? why?! i'm bored already. work is work. i'm happy i'm getting paid and all. but how much fun can i REALLY get out of it... bleah.

i remembered something Tash said to me.. hmm. and when i actually heard the words she said to me, i felt horrible. because i was believing what she said. i dont know.. maybe i'm becoming overly sensitive.. whatever. but i dont want to be used. i think i'm way over that phase of teenage dramas and shit. stupid problems in my life are not necessary. but seriously, i dont know if i am. am i being naive? am i giving in too much? i dont know. i want to have a bloody backbone. i dont want to be thrown about. oh god.

and then i was pulled in the other direction by what someone said. i cant be completely truthful with the whole world. i just cant. i need to keep my head space to myself. so what happens when you say something to someone, yet you're thinking otherwise in your mind? it's not like i lied. i believe it's more like saving others from potential emotional scars. i hope i'm not kidding myself... erhh.

she takes a breath at 11:40 p.m.

Thursday, January 5, 2006

so.. it's the 5th Jan 2006. it's interesting to know that i dont feel like it's a new year and all. maybe cos i've been doing the same shit since uni ended.. and will be till uni starts again. i.e: work. well if it's any consolation, i know that work will never produce two same days. stuff happens everyday.

for the past 5 weeks, my eyebrow has officially healed. and i noticed not long ago that i started a new habit because of it! i've been twirling the barbell within my skin. but then again, whenever i do it i'm actually stoning. so i may or may not realise when people stare. like on the train this morning on the way to work, there was this kid sitting across me who was staring while i was at it! didnt notice till awhile after. haha! oh well. cant help it now can i?

she takes a breath at 10:43 p.m.

Sunday, January 1, 2006

ok wow. it's 2006!! bloody hell. i know everyone says this, but how time flies! seriously. it's quite frightening... oh well. anyway. so what am i doing on the first day of the new year? hmm online, chatted with a few ppl, and now i'm watching music videos on tv. how bloody exciting. well i was a little drunk earlier... had a few drinks too fast haha. and the party outside is a little to lame. they're playin cards. hah. well whatever. why bother making a fuss? it's just ANOTHER new year right... so i'm actually getting tired since i worked today too. i need my rest. and i have this feeling i'd be up late again tmr night. hahah will spending the evening/night at lin's. they've finally moved to taringa!! chiew will be there too. will be a fun night i'm sure.. with good food, good drinks, and great company. to the new year. god bless us all. lets take care of each other.

she takes a breath at 01:52 a.m.