ok merry christmas i know it's late.. by now everyone should know that i'm actually in Perth at the moment. leaving tomorrow night though... but yes.. it's been fun. well not fun. it's been relaxing. and somewhat stressful too. cos ever since i got here i've been trying to figure out when i should tell Mum and Tash. since Yvette already knows. but apparently, they kinda figure what's going on, Mum has tried to get it out of Yvette once! but seriously, how does one bring up such a subject into conversation?? it doesnt quite roll of the tongue.. and today is probably the last chance i get. unless i do it at lunch tomorrow with the WHOLE family. yeahh..

oh and yeah i'm supposed to be moving on and getting over things.. but i dont think i'm doing a good job at that. met up with her a couple of nights ago.. and we got into a bar through some creative role playing. think whatever you want, but it felt nice. and because of that night, i've been thinking about it constantly again. which is NOT good. at all. i had a dream about her after the night we met up... i'm regressing here. and tonight, she and her brother will be staying over. we may go out or stay in... either way, we'll be ushering in the New Year together. would've been MUCH better if she was actually over18 and we were alone!! grrrr. but like i said, i'm supposed to be getting over it. *Sigh*

she takes a breath at 03:57 p.m.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

I GOT MY TATT DONE!!! it's still a little raw at the moment, and starting to dry out... so hopefully it will heal over the week. walked through the shop door and i was sweating. also cos i missed my bus stop and had to walk all the way back from Indro! but i was still sweating cos i was bloody nervous. the buzz of the needle from the other guy getting his knuckles done didnt really help. but Basto was really professional and haha he told me he's a wuss too even though he looks all tough! i kept myself distracted by texting and just focussing on my phone. it actually helped alot! but the first pierce was a shock to the system.. then i eventually got used to it and learned to love the pain. what they say really is true. body art can be addictive, and i see myself itching for another soon...

i was lucky enough to have moral support with me, although she couldnt come inside. yess. i have a new friend now... and haha it's a good change to socialise with people outside of work once in awhile. she's interesting.. we have lots in common. i guess she's my new "bro" friend heh. it's been awhile since i had that. and now that life's 'different' for me it's good to have someone to talk to. especially with specific girl problems! it's a nice change. i think i'm getting better. and hopefully in time, i'll get over it.

she takes a breath at 03:33 p.m.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

fuckfuckfuck. i have been very angry all day since it started. she'd only been here 14 hours and already ruined my life. my appointment at AllStar Tattoo was lost because she made me wait for her and couldnt be ready in 15mins. FUCK. so i had to reschedule it for Friday morning, and this time i dont care what she wants she can wait at home. and then i got stuck with her all day shopping i wanted to die. or fall asleep. either one. ANYWAY. i dont know if i can survive 3 more days of this crap. she's getting under my skin.

some good news, Sebastian at AllStar has the picture of what i want and so he will be prepared for it on Friday. i should get excited. but it's hard.

in other news. the night ended very awkwardly for me. was having dinner down the road and i saw someone walk past. and so of course stupid me had to walk up and say hi. and the pause before a reaction was kinda weird. i dont think she actually remembered who i was. and then she said she was in a hurry and left. oh well. i didnt think it was anything anyway, but that was just painful and embarrasing. i just wish the person accompanying me wasnt my mother. *dies*

she takes a breath at 09:34 p.m.

Friday, December 14, 2007

been pretty nocturnal lately. damn graveyard shifts.. but i finally got a weekend of day shifts starting tmr! had yesterday and today off. i've been so bored all day though. met up with a couple of people for a few drinks. and then more drinks with a couple of people from work. but fuckin hell, TheBeat is dead as on a thursday. was hoping to visit Ipswich again today, but shit happened and i cancelled the plan. well shit for others, not me. a little bit of good news though.. i am getting my tattoo done on Tuesday! was hoping for today, but the guy wasnt free, and i work tmr morning, so i couldnt get any earlier. unfortunately, i'll have to be stealthy as the Mother arrives on Monday night. so she will have to just deal with the shock when i get back from it. heh. i cant fucking wait!!

also, spoke to Her briefly earlier. apparently they may or may not be broken up now. well he's an idiot. he's having second thoughts, or isnt ready for a relationship or whatever, and told her. and now she isnt quite sure what the status is, but she doesnt think she wants to be with him after treating her like that. i say HOORAY! for her, and for me, cos i now may have a slim chance... thing is, i dont want sloppy seconds! i threw away all my pride and told her my feelings, only to be rejected, and now if she comes back with a proposition i'm not quite sure if i could handle it. but then again, i really want it. why does life have to contain SO many twists??

she takes a breath at 08:38 p.m.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Jessi's 18th birthday yesterday.. she was welll maggot! so were lots of other people there haha. got out of work early so at least i got to see some of them before everyone left. had a dance with a few people... i thought it was gonna happen again. it didnt. mixed feelings. although i was NOT drunk this time.. i would have been happy if it did happen... heh. but i stupidly didnt look where i was walking and i rolled my ankle pretty badly. stupid slopes on the ground. who makes a club with uneven flooring!? anyway, now i'm lame.. but hopefully, it'll get better soon, at least i can still walk. managed to get someone to do my shift on mon which means i can be there for the whole day for Skye's 18th! yay. it's bowling... my ankle BETTER get well.

OHH OHH! i just found out that i'm on YOUTUBE!! from Fluffy Festival. hahah 2 seconds worth, but at least i wasnt making a dick of myself! although i was dancing to the camera hehe. yay! i can now say i'm world famous! let's see what's in store for me... the girls may come a'running!

she takes a breath at 06:09 p.m.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

it was a painful weekend. went out on friday and got slightly drunk. Ips people came into Brisbane to visit us, so we met up and had a night out. well, from being tipsy, i found out that they had already started going out. and i found out from someone else. she didnt even tell me! and i was drunk enough to ask him about the whole thing. i know i cant really blame him for anything. and i'm not. but it's very hard to look at him and try not to punch him. i was really upset when i found out, and that one small thing kinda ruined the night. i've been trying really hard to get over it ever since. but i'm just not quite there yet.

on the other hand, i have a feeling that i did some stuff i shouldnt have with someone again. the same someone from a month ago. she confessed that they really were having problems and that she is kinda over it. but then again, this time she was much drunker than i was. so i dont know. and no, i'm not trying to pursue anything.

hmm. after leaving the club and heading back to Pancakes, some were trying to recover, i just wanted food and then to go home. but as i was walking them to the cabline, i bumped into someone i had sorta met at the club the night before. and i swear i have seen her at TheBeat before. anyway, she persuaded me to join her at the Casino at like bloody 5am. she went on the tables while i watched her win BUCKETS of money. very impressed. anyway. yeah, had a few smokes and one thing lead to another, it just kinda happened. in broad daylight while we sat on the fucking smoking section floor. anyway, long story short, we spent the rest of the morning/day. it wasnt filthy, but a little weird cos i didnt expect it at all. i guess it was a one-time thing cos she hasnt replied my text. i dont care. i'll see her when i see her. i suppose i kinda really did get over the whole thing from the night before pretty easily.. heh.

she takes a breath at 11:49 p.m.