tarap x empty

- - - Sunday, August 31, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:07 p.m. - - -

danger gang: burst out ~ we wish to express our sincere gratitude, heartfelt thanks and appreciation to all dear families, relatives, prayer group, friends, colleagues and individuals, words to comfort, prayers and assistance rendered to us during our moments of grief and bereavement.

thank you very much and may god bless you all.

- - - Saturday, August 30, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:05 p.m. - - -

danger gang: kodoku no kessho ~ the day we send her to cremation; placing every single pieces of her bones into the marble urn ... walking her to her home.

- - - Friday, August 29, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:55 p.m. - - -

danger gang: s - esu ~ dad fainted. to our horror, we rush him to the hospital. he's all affected by the whole event and without much sleep. instead of staying over at the parlour, we decided to head home so that dad can have proper rest -not exactly thou. :(

- - - Thursday, August 28, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:30 p.m. - - -

danger gang: kaizoku no uta ~ funeral parlour.

- - - Wednesday, August 27, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:28 p.m. - - -

danger gang: crash ~ in loving memory ...

- - - Tuesday, August 26, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:25 p.m. - - -

vidoll: lost voice ~ we gotten the doctor to help us ease her pain even if it's not cure. after much discussion, we axed the oxygen, dripping because it'll just help prolonged her pain. morphine is the only thing that'll calm her and two days.

later at night, the nurse came back to check on her and add more morphine. her pulse is weak and her heart beat is dropping pretty fast.

me and sis sleep with mum and let dad sleep on the other room. i was like half asleep, awake and bubbles in my head. mum's breathing gap getting longer than normal...

- - - Monday, August 25, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:24 p.m. - - -

vidoll: sarah ~ mum couldn't eat anymore, let alone drink. all we can do is wet her mouth. various parts of her organs are failing, one by one. she couldn't recognized us; only dad's voice.

- - - Sunday, August 21, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:24 p.m. - - -

vidoll: worst ~ i wasn't able to help much. dad hadn't sleep properly. everyone is just tired.

- - - Saturday, August 23, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:23 p.m. - - -

vidoll: tree ~ my sis wasn't happy that i didn't talk much to mum. the tense were so high, i'm pressured. i'm just speechless at this stage. i don't want to stress mum with complaints and i don't have memorable stories to share. there's not much words exchange except things like 'do you want to eat something?', 'are you thirsty?'.

- - - Friday, August 22, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:59 p.m. - - -

vidoll: cloud ~ the title fits my day. i thank you for thoughts and staying on the phone with me. it was crazy, rather selfish. you felt for me but yet i'm slow. i should shunned escargot for good?!

first thing first -to see mum. yes, she was surprise. guess she didn't expect to see me now. how about school? everything is well, arranged. don't worry about that. weak speech, heavy breathing; her hand were so warm, i couldn't hug her. she's in pain. i was speechless the whole time.

dad try to explain the whole thing again, since our conversation over the phone was always limited. dad thought i was on few days off then again next month, and school? ya, i got it work out even to extension. further discussion tomorrow.

i couldn't sleep. i can't even tell if i'm tired; typing this entry in the dark but it ain't easy to write, i flooded my keyboard. :(

- - - Thursday, August 21, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:53 p.m. - - -

kaya: carmilla ~ my phone was so busy and it's not pleasant to start the day. i haven't even thank kitty properly for helping me on the tix. i even make her cry ~i'm so sorry...

having talked through with my colleagues and friends, i guess, it's still different when you come face to face. i don't know what to expect of me despite being told to be super strong; a pillar for others to cling onto. i'm not really sure of myself, being an emotional person over-time. i'm just weak, so weak ... i couldn't help it. helpless. hopeless.

mum ~kl misses your cookin'. please meet d4. let's go to japan next year...

- - - Wednesday, August 20, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:51 p.m. - - -

kaya: Walkure ~ i'm not on hiatus or anything. i just couldn't bring myself to blog anything right now... i'm just confused -if that's the right word that hold me down.

everyday has been hard for me. i work with a blank mind. i get frustrated easily. i get pissed off instantly. i'd been cursing and swearing like nobody's business. i couldn't control myself.

every single damned calls telling me to prepare myself for the worst. ~mum might not make it...

- - - Sunday, August 3, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:38 p.m. - - -

kaya: paradise lost ~ there's not much choice.

the mummy: tomb of the dragon emperor ~in the far east, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo rick and alex o'connell unearth the mummy of the first emperor of qing -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.

rachael's not there ... -_-

- - - Saturday, August 2, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:37 p.m. - - -

kaya: funerary dream ~ you'll start blaming yourself if you can't do a thing to help...

- - - Friday, Augues 1, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:37 p.m. - - -

kaya: psycho butterfly ~ mum hasn't been good since. she feels tired easily and sometimes, breathless. if only we knew her pain.

- - - Thursday, July 31, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:25 p.m. - - -

kaya: masquerade ~ good thing my superior done his bit. well, at least no one actually come knocking on my damned door for it. ;p

- - - Wednesday, July 30, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:23 p.m. - - -

kaya: epicurean ~ today is driest of all days ~intro of new products. -_-||| but looking forward to my seafood pasta!! lol.

too much good food -i felt sick. lol. people would love it thou.

last day and didn't make much friends... none. hahaha!

- - - Tuesday, July 29, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:21 p.m. - - -

kaya: silvery dark ~ day two... i just can't stop fishing. -_-||| practical, yes but catch no ball. lol. not all are intermediate users but a few experts. there are things i don't need to know which bores me to death.

everyday chicken? nah, i had fish; yesterday was juicy sirloin steak, yummy! ^.^

- - - Monday, July 28, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:17 p.m. - - -

kaya: kasha -shining flowers- ~ first day of the course is soooo dry. zzZZz!

some people would be happy to attend so that they don't have to work. but not all things are fun. if it's a hands-on workshop kinda course ~fine with me. just don't feed me theories -i will die!

- - - Sunday, July 27, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:15 p.m. - - -

kaya: rose jail ~ when there's many but sometimes nothing at all. -_-

hellboy 2: the golden army ~in this sequel to "hellboy", an ancient pact existing between humankind and the mythical realm is broken. a ruthless leader treads the world above and the one below defies his bloodline by awakening an unstoppable army of creatures. joined by members of his team from the bureau for paranormal research and development, hellboy must travel between the surface strata and the magical realm to prevent the resurrection of a mythical "golden army" and save humankind once again.

trailer is soooo ... anyway, that's beauty and the beast for you.

- - - Saturday, July 26, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:13 p.m. - - -

marathon and sandwich.

#1 december boys ~based on the classic michael noonan novel, "december boys" is the story of four orphan teenagers growing up in a catholic convent in outback australia during the 1960s. as the boys watch younger kids get adopted by loving families, they begin to realize that as they get older, their turn may never come. when the convent sends the boys to visit the seaside one summer, they finally have something to look forward to.

#2 pulse ~imagine our wireless technologies made a connection to a world beyond our own. imagine that world used that technology as a doorway into ours. now, imagine that the connection we made can't be shut down. when you turn on your cell phone or log on to your e-mail, they'll get in, you'll be infected and they'll be able to take from you what they don't have anymore - life.

#3 mad detective ~a missing police pistol is connected to a series of recent heists and murders. its owner wong vanished earlier while pursuing a suspect in the mountains. his partner chi wai miraculously returned unharmed. hotshot cop ho is in charge of the murder investigation. he knows the only chance he has in cracking the case is to ask for help from his mentor bun. bun is recognized as a gifted criminal profiler until he went mad several years ago. bun lives in seclusion with his beloved wife may ever since he sliced off his ear at his superior's farewell do.

- - - Friday, July 25, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:10 p.m. - - -

kaya: glitter arch ~ there's nothing much except going home and tv or computer... pretty mundane but guess i don't know what's bored anymore. -_-

- - - Thursday, July 24, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:09 p.m. - - -

kaya: hydrangea ~ yet another surprise!? mulan rom-ed!! congratulations!!! ^.^ and lots of babies!? two months ago was bns' follow by another two this month. probably another two months will be my cuz. any more?!

- - - Wednesday, July 23, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:07 p.m. - - -

miyavi: jpn pride ~ that's very rare of my boss to call and ask if jq scolded me?! i wonder whom he heard from. he got an earful too right after me yesterday. lol. it was nothing serious thou, just some licenses cock-up and the system stop functioning. everything microsoft = loyalty money!! to me, she just blabbers non-stop from a to z and vice versa; what's go in to the right will eventually go out from the left. heh!

i can't be bothered if everyone couldn't work. haha!

- - - Tueday, July 22, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:05 p.m. - - -

miyavi: 21st century tokyo blues ~ gotten a long distant call from india! it was nelson, my classmate from computer course. he's now on holiday for a month; works in an oil rig company in middle east. will pay him a visit in gao, sometime soon?! lol.

- - - Monday, July 21, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:03 p.m. - - -

miyavi: kavki boiz ~ i just felt empty for a while... thought mum will leave later at night.

reached home and start cleaning right away.

- - - Sunday, July 20, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 11:01 p.m. - - -

miyavi: boom-hah-boom-hah-hah ~ a movie after so long...

the dark knight ~a follow-up to "batman begins", "the dark knight" reunites director christopher nolan and christian bale, who reprises the role of batman/bruce wayne. now, batman raises the stakes in his war on crime. with the help of lieutenant jim gordon and district attorney harvey dent, batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. the partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of gotham as the joker.

dark and dramatic.

- - - Saturday, July 19, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 10:58 p.m. - - -

miyavi: memories of bushido ~ nope, not really dead yet. i'm cutting short the entries since there's not much activities aside from cleaning and packing for weeks. it's good to have less stuff lying around and remove those unwanted things... best give away. not fancy to become a junk collector, not unless it's useful else wasteful. -_-|||

- - - Wednesday, July 2, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 10:47 p.m. - - -

miyavi: nowheregod ~ what the ...?! 5566 singing moon bright bright?? *pengz*

- - - Tueday, July 1, 2008 :: P E R I S H @ 10:46 p.m. - - -

miyavi: hi no hikari sae todokanai kono basho de feat. sugizo ~ wow!

i guess, it's good to remain the same as always... things change but not dramatically. at times, it's just too hard.