transcience
getting the delirious, light-headed feeling you get only when one is sick. feels so light i can float away. din go sch today but went for band so i won't miss another prac. was half dead but carried on, with my awful voice and all. hope i can go school tmr.
i wish it was a permanent fixture
you know, like a birthmark
a royalblue gem of perfect symmetry
anointing me like the jewel on the crown
it shimmers and glimmers
catching the light in so many ways
attracting my attention, wanting, always
wanting the light and me.
but no, it is fading and
soon it will be gone, like always.
Monday, May 3, 2004 12:24 a.m.
eventful day. attack of the sunday blues, the thought of school tmr is enough to make me cringe. another week, another repeat telecast of Days of Our Lives. Isn't it all the same? The same actors, the same themes. Little variation, actually. Come to think of it, it is quite sad. Do we actually realise we are running the hamster wheel and never getting out of it? Are we like the hamster, sublimely ignoring that the scenery outside is the same, yet working so hard, running so fast, to get to nowhere? Does the rodent feel a sense of disappointment when it gets out of the wheel and find itself in the same place? We know we are trapped, yet we carry on. Then doesn't that make us all great pretenders? Pathetic us.
Extremely ironic. I sleep late on sundays because the whole week tired me out but i can't get to sleep on sunday night so i will wake up bleary-eyed and cursing on Monday morning, bemoaning about my lack of sleep. Then the whole routine will begin because there can be no sleep with so much work after school till saturday night. Damn it.
Accidentally sprayed facial foam into my right eye. I hope it doesn't start foaming. It hurts.
My fav songs. and the reason(hoobstank): "They say love is only a feeling (The Darkness), but hold me now (wayne wonder) because i am left outside alone (anastacia) and i miss you (blink 182)."
Sunday, May 2, 2004 12:06 a.m.
vista solei
deliberated over whether to blog or not for quite some time before deciding, hell, why not? haha. there you go, i'm stoning before the com. feeling parched and have a weird craving for an apple, but at 12 in the morning? i guess not or i'll have a half digested apple in my stomach when i wake up in the morning and that's gross.
spent ages trying to download a virus scan software. what's the point of having a trial version that can't be updated? grr so i went around finding the serial number but still can't work. i give up man. the netsky virus can wait. went to vj funfair today to support rux. it was alright, there are loads of pple around. the weather is hot and stifling though, a little breeze would be appreciated. saw a few peepz. did a glitter tattoo and refused to let rux's stall touch my hair (they are doing hair styling you see). walked around with her. the vj band was quite cool, saw huishan too. hms din eat anything, was too hot for squeezing in the crowd. saw a bit of their famous mass dance, looks good. haha took photo with a celery, tomato and banana! lol. shall upload them soon (when i decide to install the software haha).
tj band concert tmr. argh. have to do geog presentation on arid climates. thats v. irritating, to say the least. she always likes to come up with these kinda "innovative learning" thing then harp about how she can go thru the lesson quicker if she does it herself. then, why din she do it? we are already lagging behind so terribly in the first place.
Thursday, April 29, 2004 10:58 a.m.
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thursday again, econs day. haha as usual, holed up in bytez wif my fellow 2 non-econs peepz. trying to look up Atmospheric Circulation online haha tmr geog test. can't wait to get my cam. had to fork out 3/5 of the money myself though. parents dun wanna sponser whole thing :( oh well this way the cam is all mine wuahaha. o.c. tonight! ytd's ami was disappointing i think only diana degarmo sang well. the rest r juz weird. latin pop and john stevens? pls la. haha.
this yr's band concert is gonna be great. i love our repetoire. here's wat we r rockin' the house with:
Nostradamus
Japanese Tunes
A Movement for Rosa
Puszta
Perc ensemble, Visional Train
Interval
Alumni, Persis and Highlights from Chess
Stage Band, Final countdown, Tubthumping, Copacabana
Harry Potter Symphonic Suite
Carioca
sounds fun? u bet. its the Etude XXIX with the E(ti)tude man! haha do you have the E(ti)tude? Tix r at $10, 12. 21st may, fri at VCH, 7.30 pm. Order the tix from me asap, while stocks last! A magical night of fun and excitement. look out for special effects and a special dance item! too good to miss! (err, cept my solo. watch me screw it up. haha it'll be entertaining.)
Tuesday, April 27, 2004 11:13 p.m.
8/10
sufficiently relaxed to blog. we've been on the run, driving in the sun, cruisin' on the 101.. ah how are you gonna thank me for bringing you that wonderful song, everytime you feel like visiting my thoughts? anyhow, today was quite a satisfying day. maybe i should start rating my days. i'll give this a 8. i get to wash my hair! feels superb. nice laksa at coro cosy corner. went supermarket tai-tai shopping with faith and marvelled at the different cheese. haha i've never tasted blue cheese.
slaaacked all the way from 1.20 to 3 before meeting eileen and went crazy with her over the matkool ice lollys. i tell you, they are the most incredible invention. it's outer layer is cola and lime flavoured, with a sugary centre that sizzles like a frying pan when you have them in your mouth. haha we were so amused with it. sat there outside the bandroom like 2 idiots laughing and holding the dripping lolly away while onlookers looked in wonder.
sectionals today went well too. i'm pleased most of the section came. played a bit of duet for fun after that. haha it's nice! we should do that more..yup yup. hm..wat else. nothing much. oh, and i got a deal from yahoo auctions and i'm getting a digi cam on thurs! like how exciting! yay!
Sunday, April 25, 2004 12:07 a.m.
non sequiter
you slide down my body
every inch of me.
the almost abrasive touch
pleasing my every tingling nerve.
you cleanse me with your sinewy fibre
my soul pure as running water,
mirror of my physical self.
my senses awaken, by you.
a daily necessity, i can't
live without you
you pink cauliflower.
a long day. loads of things happened, some more pleasant than others. band today was just not right. i can't put the blame on anybody, maybe someone just decided to curse us or what. the string of events starting from ytd concerning band was really quite unpleasant. plus the concert is coming up, so there's added stress. hm maybe its the concert that made things go this way. i dunno. starting to feel the heat of the concert. synopsis, library scores, section playing, scripts, screen slideshow.. all these r starting to culmulate into a giant headache.
went for vj's glossalilia later in the evening. was quite pleasant, cept the trip there was so tedious and tiring. a couple of the poems recited are v.amusing, the One Minute Rush and the open mic's Ice Kachang poem. haha and i liked the fairytale story written by this girl who's frm the CAP. oh there's this girl too, who had so much character she's amazing. hm the setting was kinda idyllic, could see the winking stars as we sat on the tarped grass in a small garden decorated with fairy lights and floating tealight candles. kinda like a night picnic thingy. free food too haha. enjoyed myself with wing thruout the night. went to bugis wif her to try the mozarella burger from BK. not bad. the cheese nuggets was cold though and it tastes unexciting. oh btw, if you managed to read till here i'll reward you for paying attention and would tell you what my poem is about. its a Tribute To My Bath Sponge- what were you thinking? haha.
I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
Friday, April 23, 2004 10:42 p.m.
hypocrisy farting in your face
council election speeches today. 6 hours of sheer, unadulterated hypocrisy is enough to turn anybody who wasn't anti-establishment in the first place into a cynic one. i mean, why can't they say it like it is, that they wanna get the prestige, the popularity (among them, only) and the cca points? what good can a student leadership body do in such a totalitarian school like nj?(think barricaded gates, closed canteen..) am feeling kinda disillusioned..
and not one of them can name what they would like to do, in concrete terms, to improve the sch (except one who suggested having a njdj in the morning haha). yeah sure, they talked about the flooded njc walk, the leaking roofs. and their inability to do anything to them is ironically highlighted by these examples. and nj is NOT a mugger sch and when they say "most pple think that nj is a mugger sch" i get irritated. c'mon, if you say it like this in only serves to sully the sch's reputation even more. bah. talk about servant leadership. i hate that phrase. think hitler. he's a good leader, to manage such a large scale holocaust and all. i don't think he thinks about serving the Germans with all his black heart. most of the time the SC are "requesting the co-operation", aka ordering, the student population to do what they like.
anyway, 2 minutes into the speeches and i'm digusted and bored. luckily i brought a book along. The Geisha of Gion, story of Mineko Iwasaki. haha similar to Memoirs of a Geisa but its less flowery and easily understood. Perfect to shut out all the repetitive "I have the passion, vote for me if you want to see what i can do". maybe i'm expressing too much of a strong view on the SC. at least i'm feeling something instead of being passive.
btw, nice article.
10 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS (in any order)
1) rux
2) wen
3) sher
4) beat
5) stone
6) wing
7) zequan
8) jm, benson, cy
9) ql, wl, lr
10) my bro (haha!)
9 THINGS THAT U REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW
9) a ixus v3
8) new computer wif lcd screen
7) ipod
6) money money money
5) to be happy
4) to not miss somebody
3) to be the real me
2) to have a normal family
1) go clubbing
8 IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR BAG
8) wallet
7) hp
6) fm radio
5) comb
4) clips
3) tissue paper
2) storybook
1) sch stuff haha
7 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD
7) venezia rum and raisin
6) italian pasta
5) sakae sushi (craving, nOW!)
4) my mum's food
3) durian
2) chocolate
1) after-dinner clear, chinese-style soup (very satisfying)
6 OF YOUR FAVE MOVIES
6) LOTR!!! and matrix..
5) finding nemo
4) moulin rouge
3) catch me if you can
2) coyote ugly
1) treasure planet
5 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
5) the things i made in art club
4) my king-sized bed
3) long pink desk along wall
2) big black boombox
1) dust
4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRINK TODAY
4) honeydew
3) mixed veggie rice
2) pocky
1) tofu fish soup
3 THINGS YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT
1) friends
2) tools of communication. hp, internet
3) music
2 THINGS YOU USUALLY READ
2) books
1) blogs
1 PERSON YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT
me (haha ego, yes!)
Thursday, April 22, 2004 08:48 a.m.
rock on!
been a while since i blogged. econs free period haha. followed by pe, free period, break, geog, 2 dio then finito. shitz day again i guess. i love my free periods though they give me space to breathe. sometimes i look back and wonder how i managed to survive each day of lessons packed so full, i don't have time to think. what irony. you go to so many lessons you don't think anymore, just mechanically running through the motions.
nothing much to say. i love my rock family. boulder, stone, rocks, sand, mud. hee and of course, i'm pebbleth. o.c. tonight! can't wait.
Monday, April 19, 2004 12:42 p.m.
the big E
hi blog, i'm back again! haha i think you can guess how often is my econs free periods by tracing when i blog. duh, its econs lecture now. spent the contact before that behaving spastically and entertaining myself (and annoying others in a good way) haha. today's quite shitzmitz, should be called P.Geog Day or Ting's Day.. 2 geog sandwiching a maths tut(which i dun consider a lesson), contact, free period, gp and pe. that's bout it. bah.. anywae, i just watched Love Actually ytd. damn lag i noe, hah but i'm glad i caught the show cos its so sweet and funny. and the office guy carl is damn hot. my god his body and his looks... pfft its sizzling. hahaha. oh and the version i watched was in its uncensored glory.. so all kinds of naked bits came out.. which is ok actually cos there's nothing much to see la just flesh. keira knightley is so chio!
hm. i always venture into other pple's blog, attempting to understand a bit of their thoughts enmeshed in the digital world. can't deny that there are some blogs tat r more frequently read than others. can't help it, i'm just curious about what they have to say. plus, some styles of writing r v.interesting. i'm trying to make my entries a bit more sparkly too, so that you might be enticed to hold that Back Button and listen to me. ME ME mE. haha.
There can be no light without darkness.
Did you realise that too?
Sunday, April 18, 2004 02:25 p.m.
discontent
i feel trapped in stasis every sunday. there are always so many things to do but the inability to just get out of the house and brave the clement weather weighs me back. damn it, i'm disgusted with myself.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004 01:17 p.m.
joie de vivre
i'm bored. really really out of my brains nutsy bored. the rest are all having econs haha i slacking in the cool comfort of bytez while they sweat it out in the hot humid horrible weather outside. ugh the weather these days is really too ambivalent for my liking. humid, sunny, with breeze! makes me wanna juz dip into a swimming pool. which is quite something since i've never been in the aqua chlorine since sec 1.
i wish i could have experienced the blackout that the west side of s'pore did last night. it'll be so cool to be cut off from all forms of communication, to have the darkness envelop you and the stars finally showing its twinkling brilliance against the night like diamond sparkling against the velvet lined jewellery box. maybe because i'm sick of civilisation. everyone has to, at some point of time, yearn for the primitive isolation and privacy. of course, a blackout is also the best reason for not doing homework or studying.
should be doing something constructive during my free period right(thinking of geog research on toursim). after all when i dropped the sub i've signed on the dotted line saying i want to "concentrate on my other 3 subjects." hm but my workload and stress does decrease quite a bit and i'm glad. first it was regret. then slowly, the relief seeps in. haha how fun to end at 4, 1.20, 12, 1.20 and 5 every week.
everyone has their own problems. i wish somehow i can help, but i don't know how. to penetrate into the shield of hardness or mask of indifference. it is so torturous to smile in the face of your depression. two persons, inhibiting one, will almost always destroy the other. then, there will be half.
what about joie de vivre (zhwah duh VEEV-ruh, VEEV): A love of life. From French, meaning “joy of living.”
Tuesday, April 13, 2004 09:35 p.m.
kokomo
how i wish for a different life. to experience living precariously, living a kind of dangerous life that gives you adrenline shots you wanna drink right into your soul. i guess i'm pretty bored of what i have. i noe its a lot already but i'm just fickle and always wanting more. if only. if only i do not have to be under such circumstances. can't exactly name it but yeah, sometimes i get a feeling that there's so much more out there.
on the same thread of something more, am quite excited about the proposed backpacking trip to europe wif rux and wen. haha really hope we can do that. din mr. barber say, pple in england go travelling after their As. the wanderlust in me has been cooped up long enough. 6 more months and its time for action. i need to earn $ though for the trip and i'm also looking forward to earn my very own cash. haha wierd right. i wanna learn french. wanna get a dog. wanna club until i die. haha the joking.
back to normal life, got a COCO for my common tests tis time. dropped econs so its coc. haha sounds nice rite. oh, something happened just now. my dad was so agitated because my grandma was sweet-talked into letting a stranger into the house yesterday. man were we shocked. that person could have easily bound up my grandma and maid and ransacked the house, them being all alone. so my dad is now changing all locks and upping the security of the house. alright. luckily nothing happened haha think my house got nothing much to steal. what a relief.
Monday, April 12, 2004 08:44 p.m.
and you guessed it..
tada~! and welcoming you with its warm lush orange of rich sunsets and the gaze of Mischa Barton, who plays Marissa Cooper in the awesome show, The O.C. haha if u read the previous entry u might find me raving bout it. well i decided its not enough, so i decided to rip the template off the official website for my blog in tribute. yays. love the warm orangey feeling. can't wait till thurs for the next episode! :)
P.S.: I just love the background music u r hearing now! phantom planet's california! yeah~
Saturday, April 10, 2004 01:06 a.m.
california
hm looking back i seemed to have worked myself into a bad mood as i write. or rather, a more expressive mood. oh wells. i think i'm anti-establishment. i support unconventionality. i love free spirits. was reading The Picture of Dorian Gray just now. v.v.interesting, the things lord henry says. he sounds logical yet the things he argues for are supposedly wrong. Lolita is also waiting to be read, as well as roald dahl's Boy and The Glass Menagerie, which is a play. eeps so much to read so little time.
oh ya i seemed not to have mentioned that i dropped econs. i miss it.. and thoughts of singapore being a elitist society keeps flitting back. do pple look at you differently because you do three subs instead of four? do they think you r incompetent just because you have foresight and chose to concentrate on what you can do? econs does makes sense actually, but i'm just daunted by the amount of information at the end of the day that you have to know. oh well, since things have been decided, i shall concentrate more on my other papers instead of dwelling on it. life is all about looking forward.
oh. and i don't think i want to live in singapore when i have the ability to support myself. i'm too disillusioned about it. forget about all the ministers talking about creativity, innovative, new learning methods, freeing of the arts. its all lipservice. i would like to see one of them being a ordinary teacher in any sch where your wage is determined by how many seminars, training courses you go, the grades your students get etc instead of how well you teach. then we can talk.
Friday, April 9, 2004 01:03 a.m.
culture vulture
hi blog, its good friday already! man it feels great to have a break. i need some. alone wif my thoughts deep into the night, phantom planet's california strumming over from my speakers. speaking of that, the o.c.(aka Orange County) was superb, fantastic, great, excellent. must watch. sat in front of the tv and spaced out from 8.30 to 12. watched fear factor (eew, duck egg, pig liver, silkworms), american idol (camile, finally, spared us weekly pain) and the o.c.! was a all-ight (to quote randy) day yeah, cept for the 5-items napfa. think jelly and stairs.
thoughts running in my head throughout the day however, like little fluffy bunnies with sharp teeth. i am disillusioned; this was sparked by a certain geog teacher who looks at us from a external point of view. he came along and made us feel uneasy about our ways. his so-called incessant complaints does make sense. i am saddened by the helplessness one feels when trapped in the working world. why shouldn't we question? why can't we stand up for our opinions? yet, the summary is if you think too much you will be unhappy, for you would have seen the world in its true colours and believe me, its not a pretty sight. so what do you do to get by? simple. don't think too much; just sufficient to get by and follow orders. this way life is not that painful.
i do believe that sometimes my thoughts deviate from the norm. its like a vulture, picking on the bones and dregs of society. i can't help it, sometimes pple really do behave irrationally, but it is accepted! it is culture, they say. what is culture? it is not about releasing sparrows you caught so that you can earn some good, for goodness sake. some of the things pple do and say made me convinced the word "idiot" is around for quite some time.
"world hunger" is not just two words you throw into your GP essay.
Sunday, April 4, 2004 10:44 p.m.
jazzanova
random thought- people are just trying to make it in this world. anywae, today's the 2nd day of being 18. still no sense of any change. haha i guess its gonna be gradual inevitably but not now. yep spent ytd night grooving to funky beats and a huge crowd at newsroom bar. man was it packed. dun like the retro beats they played though. overall a fantastic time. came home at 4 with sh and pk. slept from 7 to 7 pm after that. i was in total disbelief when i stared at the clock. i was planning to sleep till 2 then get up? where's my sunday? not fair. its already 10 plus already and i have hw to complete.. damn really feel like dropping econs. the thought has been bouncing in my skull for too damn long, damnit.
still am lethargic. wish i can sleep and not go school on monday. getting all the papers back tis week. oh wells. i'll just get on wif it then. can't wait for more partying i'm getting addicted. only one minor detail.. there's sch almost everyday. june hols then. oh band concert coming up too.
Etude XXIX
21st May 2004, 7.30pm
Victoria Concert Hall
Tics at 10 and 12
Be there or lose out on the best concert u've ever been to! haha.