i came back home dead tired. didnt do any work, but like.. alah ok lah wateva. caught the swan on tv. the ending was kinda touching when she got to see her daughters. they turned out better than before, yeah. but its still oh so fake. by the time CSI miami started i was oredi lying comfortably under my lacey cream duvet *cey cey cey wat say i* and naturally, i dozed off. so comfy like that, like.. who wont.

dzul called me in my midsleep. i checked my watch and, like, yo! its 2 am. even so i suddenly i felt so hyper. wat magic u pakai? so we talked and talked but i guess u guys dun give a rat's ass wat we talked about. mama's semboyan did her thang when it was time for sahur. we had to hang up before her bom tercetus... like the other time.

eh, so wat happened to that ultra skinny bikini beach girl who broke her neck and died?

You are a XPYG--Expressive Practical Physical Giver. This makes you a Roving Spouse.

You are magnetic, charming, and impossible to resist. You have no problem with approaching your target sex -- it just comes naturally to you, and the thrill of warming up a stranger is one of your great drives. Still, very few people really know you. You don't just *feel* misunderstood -- you are. You are probably nursing a heartache that you never let on.

You're calm in a conflict (almost *too* calm -- a more emotional partner may wonder why you're not more engaged) and quick with affection. Fighting makes you uncomfortable, but as you avoid direct conflict your frustrations can manifest in the cold shoulder and passive-aggression, which is no better! Still, you make a loving, doting parent -- giving more love than discipline -- and your children prefer you.

Like an XSYG, you put so much thought and effort in what you give to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. You also give and think so much that you can also talk yourself into cheating -- physically or emotionally -- and this can lead a cycle of conflict, guilt, conflict-avoidance, chilly atmosphere and then more cheating. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.

You've got to open up! You express and give so much of yourself in other ways -- don't be afraid to express what's bothering you.

I'm only being so hard on you because you remind me of me.

Of the 140288 people who have taken this quiz, 10.5 % are this type.

wat do know! that last sentence in pink.... sungguh meng-'haunting" lah....heh........ k back to the books *scuttles*

i received a letter in the box yesterday from school. i had to sit for 2 quarantine papers on my last day at the Crimson Room. Please take note of the following quarantine arrangements for the above examinations at the Crimson Room, Basement 1, Nanyang Auditorium. haha apa kes. this tickled me much coz it reminded me of our very first conversation over this. first conversation OK and i was oredi asking him to play me. oh well we clicked great. so u guys, happy trying.. *grins*

an adillah worries. a lot. so much so that her worries can whimsically transform into paranoia jus like that *snap*. she worries about her work, her loved ones, her family, those who love her... and heck... she even worries bout those who dont love her. this leads to an adillah feeling pretty much a fecken up biatch whenever shes triggered to start worrying.

an adillah will have a huge tendency to start analysing everything. she will find herself inevitably and subconsciously reading in between people's lines, observing every single body language and finding that bit of transparency behind each and every expression. hell yeah, an adillah is almost always correct on her haunches and feelings. and this, ladies and gentleman, is the big yooooohooooo that triggers her worrywartbiatch switch. understandably......

no, an adillah doesnt fear the future albeit her worrying so much. an adillah realises that there needs to be a thin line drawn between fear and worry becoz worrying too much will lead to fear and then paranoia. so, an adillah only fears frogs, cicaks and mudskippers. roaches will get crushed under an adillah's merciless huge and ugly feet. thats how terra she is. if it doesnt come under the category of wet, slimy, icky, yucky creatures who look more apt if it were in the water instead.. yup, if it doesnt fall into that category, then an adillah will worry. she still finds it hard to stare at a cicak in the face. flying creatures are fine.

to an adillah, her parent's consent is very vital. sometimes, an adillah might get worked up over their unreasonable decisions. but its the restu that she is after, their blessing. an adillah has, on a few minuscule recorded occasions, went against the consent of her two greater people. she ended up crapping all over and not feeling too good about herself in the end. so now no restu, no way. over the years, after much evolution, an adillah was found to have developed an "enlightenment sorta' understanding between herself and the two other greater people with whom she lives each day being eternally grateful to for giving her life. and after much deliberation, one can conclude that an adillah is tremendously grateful that her two greater people have undergone some sorta evolution too, thank gawd.

when it comes to love, an adillah can get a bit lost. she believes strongly in fate, and that things happen for a reason, definitely. over some turn of delightful events, an adillah now believes in love at first sight and the concept of soul mates. after some tried and tested experimentation, an adillah was found to need an extra brain. she has found the most perfect donor for this extra member, last seen lurking around somewhere on the east side of the island. an adillah was found to live by each day, rather amazingly, on this donor's sms-es for breakfast, his enlightening phone calls for lunch and his cheeky smile for dinner. she is not the usual mushy type, mind you. an adillah finds tremendous pleasure in pinching his cheeks. she might look a little bit crazy when she's doing so since she usually gets hysterical when he grins. an adillah has been reported never to want to change for someone before. amazingly, only one has the ability to revolutionalise an adillah. she has been proven to have the ability to come early if not on time now. gone were her days of being tardy. an adillah believes that he is her ecstasy, her greatest godsend in her most needing time, her daily dose of oxygen. she cant get enough of him and doctors have certified that she is officially addicted to his everything.........

haha eh thanks ah for being so kuasa to read so much

im feeling the busy bug hit me.

so, happy ramadhan to one and all. may our ibadah be diberkati in many folds, and our prayers be answered, insya allah.

had a pre-puasa shisha excapade at majlis a few days back. was nice seeing em familiar faces again. azlia had new cool hair, afiq is still my best food runner ever, and alymm *griiiinz* haiz alymmmmm.... u can throw that shisha nip anytime at me lah, i rela *hwaa* he made the pipe peh pekat that night. so we had seven heavily smoke infused girls sprawled out on the carpet below bamandhaj, sputtering utter crap at every sporadic minute. oi suck and blow, suck and blow... where that lead to i dont wanna elaborate. *haha* really oh so grekz...

so anywayz exams around that corner down there. i say, its been a bad semester, but *quote* i can end it good *unquote* thank you for giving me that bit of hope darlinkkk

pictures!

hardcore makcik....

another one of those colgate moment

us with puff the magic dragon... hehehehehee... nohap to marah aah.. hehehehe

two hot and sweaty blonde bimbos waiting at the train station for.. umm... the train *winks*

oh sod it...

if you'd say goodbye to me tonight
there would still be music left to write
what else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
that hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
now I know that happiness goes on
that's where you found me
when you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

I'm that voice your hearing in the hall
and the greatest miracle of all
is how I need you
and how you needed me too
that hasn't happened for the longest time

maybe this won't last very long
but you feel so right
and I could be wrong
maybe I've been hoping too hard
I've gone this far
and it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
maybe I'll be sorry when your gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
hold on to your heart
now I know the woman that you are
you're wonderful so far
and it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what concequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you oughta know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

feckin' jiwang retakz yo

its for you

hehehe *happy dance*

yesterday was worth it lah! though i had chest contractions the whole night. ran to mama's room at 4 odd coz i needed her to urut my back a bit. and so i look like a horny goldfish today, mata stim and swollen and all. but.. like.. watevrrr. i had my chocolate. a whole mug of it. and with really really good bunch of people around. i had my moment of purest bliss.

u are a godsend u know. you, not my mug of chocolate. really.

btw, skye sweetnam reminds me of a very media-fied avril. she looks too pretty to be singing the songs she sings. she needs to be a bit more raw. haha apa ajer lah...

2 conveyor belt sushi virgins + 1 conveyor belt sushi addict... sushi orgasmmmm!! mmm mmmm.....

thanks to shak who initiated these virgins into the world of conveyor belt sushi *fanfare* we were spoilt for choice really.. many many plates of beautifully presented sushi and tak tahu lah apa lagi all moving past jus next to my face. shak was telling us to take only so and so coloured plates coz theyre being priced according to the colour of the plates that theyre on. big bummer coz the ones on the expensive plates looked soooooo good.

but still... those 12 plates of sushi left us three feeling very verrrry verrrrrrry sushi high....

"Every man loves two women; one is the creation of his imagination, and the other is not yet born."
Khalil Gibran

embarassing events

sorta covered up by one handsome camera holding berg

a lot of sweat

hot and sexeyyyy

in a sauna-fied room

bwaahahahahaa

got pics but laterz...

so...

u think back...

and u realise....

wat a bad daughter u were before...

wat a shitty sister u had acted as...

wat an idiotic fren u have been....

time for a change eh?

mmmkay.. sungguh random thoughts

i was in the living room.. munching on pringles.. but facing nothing OK.. and my youngest sis came up to me and asked, kakak why are u smiling? she looked in the direction where i was looking, then looked at me, *blinked blinked* then i looked at her *blinked blinked* lucu sungguh lah smiling myself silly..

oh yeah thanks a mil for the sims 2!!!!

a weekend well spent with happy people celebrating an advanced birthday. the gangsters in us made the bday girl cry. haha. a failed attempt to play laserQeust. we could only imagine how each of us loonies might look playing that. oh well. next weekend perhaps.

the teary-eyed bday girl

oh colgate sungguh lah...

the "touch my mango" girl with the mango touch... heeee

im writing this specially for my two other frens who jus had to jump into this empty boat im in. its like a bad bug going around. u two should cry like u haf never cried before. and jus talk like u haf never talked before. and i cry with you too, dearies *winks*

ok so lets come clean.

i clearly remembered asking him, are we really taking the chicken way out if we break up coz it seems like we are jus running away. running away from everything the relationship requires us to handle. or is breaking up actually taking that one really brave step out?

hanging on to familiarity is easy peasy. taking the plunge to leave the rut, leaving that comfort level, now that is the real challenge. we tend to cling onto those that we have become accustomed to, even though deep deep in our hearts we know that the situation at hand is really less than ideal. its jus naturally easy and less disruptive to the routine that we have always had.

i read this from somewhere, roughly it says, each of us has a choice to make between two. the first, we wake up each day and believe that its us who make life happens. or, believe that life is something that happens to us, and we are jus victims of circumstances. being busy blaming others for the circumstances that we are in jus limits our power to change ourselves for the better. own up to the responsibility of our actions. i believe, that only then are we able to make the best of our lives.

ok dearies.. so those other people made mistakes by intruding or wateva u wanna call it lah. but hey, we make mistakes too, somewhere along the line, in some way or other. as cliche as it oredi is.. yes? but so wat?? making mistakes is how we learn, through genuine realisations and of course, regret. so own up, and start making the best of your lives.

and u know dearies, the past, is exactly where it should belong - in the past. though uncannily, it has this huge ability to intrude into the present. but i learnt that those who use only their past as a reference in living "the now" are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. believe me when i say this. your thoughts drive how u feel. never ever fear the future coz its the one greatest psychological sabotage. u fear it even before u take that first step. you fear that so and so will happen even before it happens and u fear that there wont be anyone else out there who is jus perfect for you. this is the fear that will prevent us from going places, from being someone, from living our life. drive your thoughts away from the past. concentrate on the greater things ahead. who else has the power to control your life but yourself. so dont let the past dictate it. stop referring to it. there is no time like the present to redirect your own future. its your life to live. and like wat stacie orrico always croons, "there's gotta be more to life"

so come on, the plunge was taken, albeit us being forced to do so. but wateva.

i haf jumped... and now i am soaring. and im letting my deep deep wounds heal slowly while im soaring up here. beautiful... i do not want to force the healing process. tsk tsk.. bad... nanti busuk. healing takes time. i know i can safely land somewhere with someone else already. simply waiting for the healing in due time. plus, from up here, u will start seeing the things that u haf missed all this while.

dearies, trust me. it takes a whole lot of courage and and a whole lot of strength, i know. and knowing the things we know, we'd prolly need double the courage and strength. but once u can instill these thoughts in ur head, the feeling is downright spectacular lah. mean time, cry, talk, burn, throw, punch, kick, pray and tawakal... do wateva u want to flush it out. dont keep the bad karma in. eh, dun kill urselves okay. *winks*

"life is as simple as u make it, or as complicated as u want it to be" jus my two-cents worth. take it easy... tur-rah!

tomorrow will be a good day

*streches mouth into fake smile*

yep.. will be good

i made myself shut out those who make me happy for the sake of the happiness of another. how willing i was. and now i asked myself.. hey wat gives? as long as YOU are happy, everything else will jus fall into place afterwards. now thats darn right selfish.. no? i tried not to be. but... once bitten, and twice you shy.

i apologise to those i have wronged. never have i been so wronged myself.

yeah, flipside.. chalet was a blast! you made it happen for me... been quite a while since smthing felt so right.... mmmyay! happy reading to you.. *winks*

the only strategy i haf when playing the sims... is to make the house look pretty. flowery wallpapers.. parquet flooring.. 5 points comfort sofa... the works..

the most exciting point of play was when i managed to successfully turn 2 women into lesbos. they had this 100 percent chemistry between them and hence the lesbian status... fuuuu-uuu-ey. in other words.. i see no point in strategizing proper.

but youu... now YOU put a whole new meaning to playing MY bimbotic game. its not only about making the place pretty u say. its all about getting the money. haha.. how cute. i prefer to jus cheat *winks* so how much have u made so far now?? *eveeel lafffs*

Being twenty-something

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US

ripped this off shamelessly...ermz

It's sad to think, we're not gonna make it
And it's gotten to the point where we just can't fake it
For some ungodly reason we just won't let it die
I guess neither one of us wants to be the first to say good bye

I keep on wondering
What I'm gonna do without you
And I guess you must be wondering that same thing too
So we go on together living a lie
Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say good bye

Everytime I find the nerve to say I'm leavin'
Oh, memories, those old memories get in my way
Oh God knows it's only me that I'm deceiving
When it comes to saying good bye
That's a simple word that I just cannot say

There can be no way this can have a happy ending
So we just go on hurting and pretending
And convincing ourselves to give it just one more try
Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say
Farewell my love, goodbye
 

feeling feckin' jiwangz

its one week through and i still have not gotten my schedule finalised

they changed the friggin coursework here and there

i have up til tuesday to analyse the pros, the cons, the opportunity costs

im working against time

time is against me.

im so tiredddddddddddddd.

they say notes at LT 23

skali dey change to LT 19.

then run to LT 19.

skali left only empty boxes without notes *anger*anger*anger*

watodooo... lan lan suck thumb lor...

ahem... comments please

history tells it that mr max brenner is this bald man who loves eating/drinking/having chocolate. and so we have, *drumrolls* chocolate by the bald man *tada*, available only at the max brenner's chocolate bar.

we had the waffles and the really interesting chocolate fondue. the waffles were crispy on the outside, but soft on the inside. very yummy. served with fruits, vanilla ice-cream and maple syrup. the fondue, now this you hafta try. 3 different types of chocolate dips - dark, milk and white chocolate. the milk choc was the best. the white choc tasted like susu cap junjung. the dark choc was, errr, i dunno. ive been disallowed to taste much coz of the whoopping cocoa content in there. but i did managed to get an itsy bitsy spot on my strawberry. bitter and very strong.

armed with our mini fondue forks, and the array of things to dip

we relentlessly dipped our way till the last drop of chocolate. not contented with having to dip mine in the susu-cap-junjung tasting white choc only, i sneaked in a few dips of the milk choc as well.

the last time i had mistakenly gobbled up some harmless looking ovaltine biscuits, oblivious that there was cocoa in them, i got sick for terribly long. and the fren who offered me them, got guilty for terribly long too. and she vowed by the moon and the stars and the clouds and nanyang supermarket that she wont ever let me even touch them darned cocoa-thingys ever again. very drama-mama i tell u.

so the visit to max brenner's left, rather miraculously, only the right half my tongue swollen when i woke up the next day. my occasional swollen tongue experiences usually left me not being able to breathe properly coz a tongue that size blocks the oesophagus. a kid would know that. but anyway, i had to juggle the amazing feat of having to leave my mouth half open so that the half swollen member is able to fit snuggly in there. the left side is ok so my mouth will tend to want to close naturally. but since the right side was sized 10 times more that day, i ended up accidentally biting it numerous times when i talk. and eating.... is a whole new experience i do not want to talk about. and it got me really really cranky partly coz no one i talked to understood my plight. sigh...

all you lucky choco addicts out there.....................

i cant help but miss school, the actual act of studying, whenever i pass by macs and see those ppl pouring over those books, albeit it being a tad too noisy and not condusive for doing jus that. but heck lah, coz i do it too. one part of me digs studying. but yet another part of me dreads it totally. after 22 odd years of dealing with all this education hibbyjibbys and wat-nots, i am jus yet another person entering early adulthood with this love-hate relationship. not much of a success story i tell you. but i know i will miss studying at many points in my life. definitely.

and so it shall start all over again, on the 26th of july 2004.

i've waited all my life, for this moment to arrive. *sing fantasia borino's i believe*

i dont tink so....

im not fat. im just retaining water. a lot...

the frequent feelings of fatness and outnumbered moments of fighting my balloon days led me to google around a bit. not that sitting down here in this already dented chair of mine helps in combating this overdued war. but still i pressed on in my relentless pursuit in winning the battle of the bloat whilst still sitting here, in the hope of making myself feel better. i have points to prove, that bloating is a temporary and common problem and most importantly, that i can win over the bulge.

according to this, i can reap victory *yes!*, and fortunately too. as long as i avoid certain foods which causes gas like beans, asparagus and broccoli and reduce my salt and dairy intake which includes cheese. *sigh* looks are high that i will be a cheese-sucker convert already.

i not only haf to watch wat i eat, but also how i eat them. *shakes head* always chew with your mouth closed, and take sips of your drinks. try to avoid drinking through straws. *shakes head even more*

an anti-bloat diet would consist of natural diuretics like watermelon, lemon, parsley, cranberry, and herbs like dandelion leaf, Echinacea *whot?* and juniper berry. hmmm... watermelon masak merah for lunch?

on a serious note, water retention of the more worrying kinds comes in the form of anasarca and edema, both of which are rather common conditions. generally, people tend to retain water in their cells and tissues. but the inability to get rid of excess water would lead to excess water being stored and hence this feeling of bloated-ness. in some  cases, the appendages (not only hands and legs you knowww) themselves swell. these conditions can be caused by tight socks, stockings or undergarments and pregnancy. dependent edema involves swelling of the feet, legs and ankles, occuring most often at the end of the day or after long periods of traveling while in a seated position.

photos of edema of the legs of a woman with pre-eclampsia near the end of her pregnancy. pics showed that of before and after her treatment of pre-eclampsia. those dents around her ankle are still visible after 3 minutes when her husband pressed into it.

ya tuhan... scary.

situations like so....

the things he said made me feel like crying.

and so you

1. looked down...

2. looked away...

3. swallowed that lump

in that order........

marks and spencer's spalife range of products, definitely the werx.

and i want this *points finger to picture on top*and pouts*. A natural fragrance containing top notes of bergamot, spicy ginger and green lemon. sounds delish. i can't resist.

the failed date on saturday left a bimbo sulking for her spidey. the saturday crowd was horrendous. really. being able to pack that much people in a single stretch of road they named after a place for fruits is thoroughly amazing.

but hey.. i caught my spidey today and tink hes hot! of course minus the one part where he was running on the roof like as if theres no tomoro trying to prove a point. scene tu... alamak tak glamour langsung! other than that... peter parker is hot! tobey maguire's HOT! the tendency of me to fall for shy guys...

supper was spent at prinsep street with all things white. tau huey from that famous corner shop and steamed buns from.... *drumroll*.... bunz! *haha very funny lah tu*

pieces of really tender chicken meat stucked in between folded steamed white buns topped with ur own choice of 11 different flavoured sauces with lettuce and either tomatoes or a slice of egg, depending on which flavour u choose. they must be a creative lot to come up with such funky names for the sauces like pepperina and chilly crabby. but thankfully the names states the obvious. pepperina is a really really peppery sauce. and chilly crabby is... well... really chilly-fied crab all mashed into a sauce. out of all the 11 flavours, these 2 stands out most bcoz i am a real sucker for hot stuffs. the milder flavours worth sinking ur teeth into would be char grill or creamy white.

and what better way to accompany those funky names than with an even funkier food presentation. i like! and u get funky plastic gloves to eat ur funky buns with to keep those funky germs away *harhar* the popiahs that came together with the set was mega loooooooong *ok im exaggerating* but it is much longer than the usual ones u get for tiga posen. really crispy skin with lightly spiced fillings. very generously portioned and very very tasty. we had the chilly crab and mushroom popiah. i liked the former for obvious reasons, the heat.

question: miss, where can i get these funky buns?!!

ahah! good question. theres 2 outlets u can ransack. one is near bugis junction across the street from warung m. nasir. the other is right next door to the famous tau huey shop at prinsep street, in front of nafa. not too hard on the wallet either

and yes its halal

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no.
 

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said
no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again
he replied with a no.

She had heard enough.

As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her
arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

alamak now... where can i haf one of him.. peeehhhleeezz... to go?

dinner yesterday night was superb. and since a certain someone had deep cravings for ikan bakar, we sped off to the infamous Bedok Laut Food Centre for some great grub. the pari was succulent and not fishy-smelling at all. and served with 2 kinds of cencaluk sauce..hah! cannot go wrong one lah. im not a usual cencaluk dipper. but that night, i relished the sauces with glee. one had more more greens and spice. the other was the usual pink and wierd looking one, but gives just the right amt of salty-ness to balance the spice and sourness of the white flesh from the fish.

had kangkong belacan goreng at the side and a scrumptious one at that. first taste.. *ya tuhan* boleh sampai pengsan. the veges were not overcooked so it still had that nice crunch. had bits of fishcake in it wic i like, coz... u know... adds that bit of character to the dish. and the belacan did not hold an overpowering taste of the dish. thats the good part. a mug of sugarcane lemon juice for him and coconut juice for me to top it all off.

we literally licked the plate clean, even the daun sop used for garnishing. nasib daun pisang tu keras. if not dah lama kena ngap. try the stall handled by the few mats located inside the food centre, somewhere in the middle. i give them all my 20 thumbs up.