>>My Secret? The Free Will v.3.1 ~Secret~<<

It's Sunday, July 31th 2005
And Black Hole Message - Toshiya Igarashi flows as the wind blows
Today is Harry Potter's birthday, but I don't really into Harry, my favorite character would be Sirius Black and Oliver Wood. Harry is too 'hero wannabe' for me, that's mostly why. I've finished finding the hiragana for Laruku's awake album for 8 songs!!! Actually just 5, the other 3 were the firstly released singles. New World, Killing Me, and my friend's all time favorite Jiyuu he no shoutai. But there were some -minor- mistakes on the text. I've just have to adjusted them ^_^
But there were some kanji that too hard to read for me, and also to found. It's kinda irritating, at first when I bought the album, I thought 'Yeah Cool, finally they write the lyrics in bigger font size', but I've realized a mistake, the album color was silver and so was with the font color. Aarrgh.... *scream*. Anyway, that's mean I have to finish Twinkle, Twinkle; Hoshizora; Existence; and Ophelia to finish them, then I have to check the hiragana/reading with the right reading by Hyde.
My novel wannabe didn't go right as well, I've stucked in a point, I know what I want but I couldn't do it. There's something bugging me on how connecting the written idea with the one on my mind.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Saturday, July 30th 2005
And Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani flows as the wind blows
My current project right now is make the romanji lyrics for Laruku's Awake. Sometime I envy those guys who could easily read kanji though they weren't Japanese, and I also envy those who could afford the lyrics in the Internet. I also wished to be one of them! that's mean I have to study hard, study! study! study!
I'm starting to read First Men In The Moon by H.G Wells. At first, it remind me to Cardigan's album, First Band On The Moon, but mostly remind me to R.E.M's track with the same title 'First Men In the Moon'. I still remember when one of my friends surprised when he find out that I also like Radiohead and know Gary Moore, he thought that most girl always following the 'current trend' and has nothing special. But that definitely not me. That day, he was about to sing 'High and Dry,' and I followed him on the reffrain. Then he stopped and stared at me, I'm not a huge fan of something particular, as I said, I'm too moody to just followed an idol. But then he tested me with Nirvana, Muse, Oasis, Dream Theater, Gary Moore. In the end of the day, he finally concluded that I'm an universal one, I didn't just devote myself to a single object. Honestly, he thought me as a JRock fans, well I admit that, but I also admit that I like other genres as well, I like Punk, Rock, Hip Metal, BritRock, something sounds like Wheezer, everything that played in my ear and my mind approves. ^_^

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Friday, July 29th 2005
And My Dear - L'arc~en~Ciel flows as the wind blows
Correction about the previous entry on Wednesday, I really gotten wrong about the kanji, it should be read as Hoshizora/hoshisora (starry sky) while I read it as Ouzora (King of Sky), that's really pathetic for me. My favorite track added with My Dear, and Words of Love by Hyde on his 666 album.
I couldn't get myself off from Samurai Deeper Kyo vol. 22. Yeah, it's just released here, I don't know how much it has reached on the other country. But the story is still so amazing for me ^_^. In the volume 22, the last member of Shiseiten, Akari shown up. I've read in a magazine about his feminine presence and didn't really shocked -in fact, I've expected this one for a while-, but I still laughing out loud when read those part involved 'Tokichiro Mitarai' aka Akari. I really like his way when he reveals other member's secret. Well, he asked for a secret as an exchange for the healing. He easily said like this, "Akira, you're still grumpy about the burn mark on your butt, right? Bontenmaru, you used to put in some meat in your pants to add the measurements, and Hotaru, got piss for losing from Bontenmaru in a fight, you put your 'nose litter' into his food, right?" But mostly he reveals Akira's secret. *heart, heart* My favorite character for now is Akari, but still couldn't hold me from Yukimura Sanada, Akira, and Hotaru!!
Anyway, Akari is really interesting character for me, despite his feminine appearance, he has so many secret for me. The way he talks, his reasons, everything about him somehow as enigmatic as Kyo. I wonder if the Shiseiten were enigmatic, most likely to be so. But my favorite character isn't Kyo or Yuya. For some specific reason I hate Yuya Shina. At some time she could be 'though' and not as weepy as Yanagi or any 'usual' characteristic for a female main character. Yuya is too rash for me, she would do something without any deep thinking. My favorite female character in Samurai Deeper Kyo would be SaiSei (Tomoe Gozen), honestly it's kinda hard to decide -to find too- in a story that full of male characters -what a female heaven *heart, love, heart, heart, heart, heart, love, heart, heart*-.
I have so many favorite characters there in Samurai Deeper Kyo, especially since the author/mangaka didn't really divide the whole characters into bad guys and good guys. For me those good and bad are relatives, some people may be thought as good or bad totally based on the spectator's perspective. Also there are people that doing bad thing since they want to aim some good purposes. Let's say, Taihaku (I'm really in the mood for Kyo right now ^_^;;), he's defending the Mibu clan by becoming a goyosei, and that's because he wished to protects the Mibu children, he's a kind hearted, you know! And then, my favorite female chara, Saisei, though she's a deadbody (you better read it by yourself or ask me ^^) but she's trying hard to fight Akira since she loved Shin Rei and wished to protect him and his beliefs.
Ah, enough about that. Actually this is the reason why I won't made any shrine or solely devoted to a title. I have so much liking and too moody to do that. *sigh* Guess I gotta go now, I'm going to watch Indonesian Idol on the TV ^_^

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Thursday, July 28th 2005
And Still Got The Blues - Gary Moore flows as the wind blows
Started from this entry, I'm planning to add the lyrics of the song to the entry. Just in case if the entry is so short, and I have nothing to think/talk about. ^_^
Now, everytime I heard or read something, I always think about the anagram. Maybe that's just because I've read The Da Vinci Code too much. Anyway, I've read 'cracking the da vinci code' as the contra book of it. That's really such a common thing, if someone had written something there will be people that pro and contra about it, not only write I think, but also talk or making films, or songs. It's really funny because the book is fiction, maybe it's a bit -no way, sorry, more- shocking and hurt some people (those who had such strong faith), but I more attracted with the historical side, was it really true? Yeah, I know maybe I should read those books that pro and also contra about it, so in the end I could have my own judgement.
Talking about my up coming novels, I haven't written the english version since I'm too afraid it'll goes smoother/easier that way rather than the original version. ^_^;;;;
I have to remind myself about the deadline though.... *sigh*
I felt a bit uneasy recently, I haven't tell you that I haven't got home in two days. On Monday, my friend asked me to help him baking a black forest cake! I'm still wondering what's on his mind, that cake is absolutely one of the favorites but also the hardest cake! So I have to stayed over on his house, and on tuesday, I've realized that I got my period! oh no! That's really such a disaster! I haven't got my period for over a year perhaps, that's why sometimes I doubted my feminity. So I came to Ony's boarding house and we gone out for a walk in the mall and lasted with me stayed over again. That's partially good since on Wed, I've got a meeting at the campus. But I still feel kinda bad since I didn't go home or talk for two days. I guess my parents has realized this dark side of mine. *_*

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Wednesday, July 27th 2005
And Crazy - Aerosmith flows as the wind blows
I've bought L'arc~en~Ciel's latest album 'Awake' and pretty much love the tracks. My favorite up to this time is Ophelia and Ouzora (If I'm not mistaken on reading the kanji). I've also bought SpongeBob Squarepants the movie for my sister, and Hyde's 666. It's kinda late actually, but I'm thankful I still able to found it.
Now I like to read the comic W Juliet by Emura. The story is really funny, and it's actually published on the magazine 'Hana To Yume'. As far as I know, the magazine has such 'weird' but interesting story, please noted out that Yami No Matsuei also published on Hana To Yume as well as Gravitation. Nah, back to W Juliet. The story is about a boy named Makoto Narita that being opposed by his father about his wish for being an actor. They made a deal that if Makoto passed the high school as a girl, his father will admit that Mako has the talent. It became funny after Mako's secret found by his friend on the drama club Ito Miura. But she promised that she'll keep it as secret, and they became lovers on the way... So much thing has happened, and I've got the 13th volume, the writer said that the next will be the last episode. I can't hardly wait....
I've bought more and more books. Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens, First Men On The Moon By H. G. Wells, and Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens! It's really funny because at first I wish to look on for Dracula by Bram Stoker for my friend, but I end up indulge myself in the bookworld.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Sunday, July 24th 2005
And Need Your Love - Asian Kung-Fu Generation flows as the wind blows
Recently, my playlist filled with Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Malice Mizer, Lorraine, and J'anne Da Arc. At the very least, my sister wasn't really irritated anymore since she didn't have to listen to 'Feeling Fine' for over and over again. I still put that track in the playlist though, and has been played for 2065 times! That surpassed the record of 553 of Maroon5's Harder To Breath.
One of the publisher here made a writing contest, and I'm thinking about entering it. But the question is that the story has to be written in Bahasa Indonesia. And I'm not really sure with my language ability. It's quite funny -or should I say weird- It's my mother tongue, I should have mastered it much. But I couldn't deny the fact that I couldn't find the right word to express what's on my mind, unlike English. I have to try anyway!
I've got so much idea in my mind, I hope I could finish the story on time. The deadline is on December 1st, and the accepted story is in 150-250 pages long. In Times New Roman 12pt, 1,5 spacing. I better start to look on more references about my ideas, at least I've noted out how I want my story like. How it goes and how it'll end. Most probably I'll put on the English version and put it in net.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Saturday, July 23rd 2005
And Destiny - My Little Lover flows as the wind blows
There was a time when I really like the world, "anata wo..." and for the whole day I kept on singing any song that has the words on the lyrics. And now it seems like the word changed into "kimi wo tsurete..."(I'm taking you) I admit that I like the phrase since the first time I heard/read it on Clover. Plus, the line after was "koko ja nai doko ka e" which literally means "anywhere but here". But that's not the point now.
I'm getting unwell every night falls. That's weird, I don't feel anything during the day, but when the dusk come there's something wrong with my body. Last night, my breathe became ragged and heavy and also noisy. Now that was the problem for last night. I was reading The Da Vinci Code for the xth time (I couldn't count it), and my breath distracted me and also scared me. It was over midnight and you heard your own breathing. That's pretty creepy here, especially I used to tease my sister with scary/ghosts stories ^_^. I just hope I won't bump into any trouble.
I've got such good dreams recently. Two days a go, I've got such trilogy that goes from "perfect" to "unknown" and "worst". The "perfect" one was when I dreamt about having a date with Daniel Mananta, he's an MTV VJ here in Indonesia, and he also a big fan of L'arc~en~ciel. Actually, when I watch him for the first time, the thing that caught my eyes was his L'arc~en~ciel t-shirt. Since that time, I proclaimed Daniel as my favorite VJ after Jamie Aditya and Mike Kasem (just because he's a Laruku fan -as the most reason-) That's such a funny story back then. Then I had "unknown", caught in trapped with someone you used to have your crush on, should I call it as "good" or "bad"?. Back in high school, there was a boy that shamelessly self-proclaimed himself as Fuuma after I stated my "worship" to Monou Fuuma. Okay, he may had some similarities -as all my friends said-, from the figure, attitude, and so on. He's tall, with short dark hair, excelled in basket and soccer (very unfortunate for my lovely Fuu), and arrogant. In short, most people who know Fuuma will thought him as Fuuma too. In that dream I was trapped in the same car with him and we couldn't get out, so we have to spend the time there, just the two of us. Last is the "worst", though I called it as "worst" I'm so glad that it didn't finish. That relieved me. *sigh*
Sometimes, I thought my dream as some kind premonition, I know it's quite unbelievable but some of my dreams trully happen in the real world. But I couldn't have the exact time between dream and reality. That's good, at least I don't have to be so worry when i had such nightmare.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

Tabris is a sophomore in an English Department of Art and Language Faculty in a Public University in her hometown.She was born on October 1st, 1985. really crazy about Monou Fuuma, games, animanga, and technology. She loves to write and read -what a common hobby-.

About the image :

Kurosaki Hisoka from Yami no Matsuei, Hisoka-kun is just soooo..... cool. He seems to know much but also less than other people, especially in social contact. This one is taken from the TV series, it seemed like I've forgotten the chapter, most probably Kyoto-hen (the last one). My design gone sucks lately, I'm just not completely in the right mood. What should I say for more?? Please note that the word Hisoka in this series is written with the kanji Himitsu (secret).
Anyhow, I really like this guy, sides he also born under the same sign with me (libra), he also has such enigmatic personality that quite attract me. I guess you'd find out the relationship with the theme
This is actually such normal size window layout but it looks better when the window is maximized, or in the 1024x768 screen. When you tried to look at it full screen, you'll see such large blank space. Maybe if I get more dilligent, I'll cover that up with entries.

Current Stats :

Reading :

Inu Yasha by Takahashi Rumiko
Tenshi Kinryoku by Yuki Kaori
X by CLAMP
Harry Potter by JK Rowling
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP
Wild Base Ballers by Taro Sekiguchi and Fujiwara Tooru
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
Samurai Deeper Kyo by Kamijyo Akimine
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Watching:

Gundam Seed
Yu-Gi-Oh
Inu Yasha
Meitantei Conan
One Piece
K-drama: Full House
J-drama: none at the moment
.hack/TUD

Playing :

PS:
Legend of Dragoon
Hoshigami
Final Fantasy V
Brave Fencer Musashi
/Digimon World II
Dragon Warrior VII
Wild Arms 2

DC :
Grandia II
Evolution II -Far Off promise-
The Ring
Working : Play/Simplicity