It's Friday, July 22nd 2005
And Friday I'm in Love - The Cure flows as the wind blows
My most favorite song every friday. I don't really know why though, but I always like this song whenever Friday come.
I got sick yesterday, and slept for almost half a day. My record is still for 12 hours 35 minutes. I just a little bit unwell, but nothing really much actually.
Anyhow, yesterday one of my friends commented on my smoking habit for these recent days. And I stated the reason why, I'm a bit distress and I have no one to talk to. At any rate, I think it's a good way to remove my mind from such matters. At the very least, my lips weren't changed into puffy and blackened lips as any other smoker. I still hate being called as smoker, though.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Wednesday, July 20th 2005
And Premier Amour - Malice Mizer flows as the wind blows
I've left my jacket at campus. That's so foolish of me, I've forgotten that I wear a jacket back there. I was wearing a sweatshirt, and still wear a jacket since it's so cold. This morning, I have to registrate at my campus, and I keep my jacket to a friend, 'please keep this for me....' and I've forgotten whether I've taken it back or not, but when I asked him, he said that I've taken back the jacket. But I didn't wear it and bring it at all. So, I called my other friend that was still there and asked her to take my jacket and keep it in my chief's locker. At least, tomorrow I'll be back to campus and retrieve the jacket. *sigh* It was a total relief for me.
That's another fact that I'm a forgetful person, usually I came downstairs and then suddenly forgotten why I was there at first place as I reached the last stair. I would ask anyone near me 'Do you know, why I went down?' That's really foolish, no one would know the answer except myself, ne...? That's happened a lot. I have a habit to bring any book (comics, novels, anything readable!) to the toilet, and whenever I went to my room to take a book, sometimes I've forgotten why I went back to my room if I wished to go to the toilet, but then I quickly remember and took the book. ^_*;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Nothing much attracted me recently, but there's an amazing news on my campus. The student board of the university is disbanded! Yesterday, when I was talking with one of the aid Deans (he's in charge for any students' business), he said that the new student welcome will be held by each faculty, and then the whole matters will be talked later in the faculty board's chief's forum. That's really absolutely quite impossible for me, since we used to let the whole matters handled by the university's student board and then the faculty board will be taken over the whole technical process in each faculty. That's all! That's just the small matters. Actually last friday until wednesday I've to attended the university student's forum, but I didn't came, I hate the tension and their tricks. It's all irritated me more and more.
Anyway, later I found out that the forum concluded nothing! That's really useless. Especially after knowing that we spend 21 million rupiahs on that forum. That's a whole lot of waste, ne...? Now they easily said that the board is disband, hey... what's on their mind actually? Why they're setting up the forum with such lot of sum without any conclusion. At first I just thought that I don't really mind who will be in charge for the board, as long as they don't disturb the faculty matters. But when I found out the shocking news that they conclude nothing. I got enraged. Now, some of my friends are going on a strike asking about what the heck is going on. The aid dean that talked to me said that now it's all money matters, the whole candidate were thinking about their own benefit, and they're about taking the board for their own beneficial. *sigh* It's all unbelieveable for me. And when I heard about the faculty board's chief's forum, I realized that I'm the one that have the obligation to go there instead of my real chief. Maybe I'll tell him about this matter. It's not really bad for me, since at least I have someone to talk to. *_*
I've talked with my chief about any matters that come to my responsibility, It was such a relief that he knew what I want and what I'm going to talk about, and so there's nothing really much matter then. Anyhow, he said that I still attended the new forum and pretended to take any conlusion that made there, but completely focused on the camp, and ignored the university welcome that not exist anymore. It's quite complicated to talk about, but I know what he want, he also asked me that no matter what happens, we should be able to retrieve the money for the welcome though we didn't held it. That's should be an easy matter since, each faculty had their own authority to do anything with the money, since there's no rules that we should held the welcoming week. Now, that's a plan, huh??

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Tuesday, July 19th 2005
And Eden - To Destination flows as the wind blows
Phew, I've figured out the small part of reason why I'm not in the proper mood recently, after the coming of my ex's (which was unexpected and intolerable). I've got the power in my hand. Actually I'm a secretary in the faculty board, but since the chief has to go to teach (he's majoring in education, and we had actual teaching lesson in 6th semester), and also with his general secretary, he gave me the temporary position. Now that's the real problem, he didn't consult me about this, and didn't ask for any agreement. After I think about it again, there's no way I could object the position. The secretary was just me, and the treasurer is my junior, actually there's no difference in junior-senior for me personally, but I knew what my chief was thinking of. Now, I could only say 'good luck' to him, and tease him with asking some good boys there at that school. -No way, I'm not a lolicon-
For me, it's quite funny since I also being the treasurer for the upcoming faculty camp. Quite amazing, huh? I'll give my best though, it's a job. And a job must be well done.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Monday, July 18th 2005
And Oon Myung - Why flows as the wind blows
Today is the day, I mean it's our anniversary. 3 years and 7 months *nod*. Wow I never thought it could be that long, at first I thought it'll be short and simple one, but no, he's way too much for me at a point, but then so less and lacking in other point.
Yesterday, one my exs came to my house. It's pretty sickening though. There's something indefineable about him that I loathe, (does that count as a harsh words??). Anyway, he made me feel uncomfortable at all. I just hoping that he won't come anymore, maybe I'll go anywhere on sundays and holiday *_*. It was more than just the words 'really bad'. I smoked again, with Fuu, and we didn't say anything. Thankfully, he really know me (Fuu, not my ex!) so he didn't ask or say anything. I just so in love with you, Fuu.
Later after he (my ex) back home, he sent me a short message which saying that he was speechless since he missed me so much, I get sick the whole night. From the very start, there's something I despise from him, he made me feel uncomfortable, though he's such a patient guy, but .... *scream* I just can't say it. I can't tell what I feel, it's just full or wrath and hatred. Can you imagine that? This is close to impossible, I never hate or despise someone this much. *sigh* Anyway, I delete the message and most probably his number too. This is really bad, there's no way, no matter how much he tried or how long he waited for me, I won't return to him. It doesn't make sense at all, how could I get along with someone that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Since this is "our day", I won't say anything more about my hatred, let's just focus on Fuu... Just me and Fuu, Fuu and me, the way are, the way we should be (and will be). Nah... that's not exactly the point. I remember Y suddenly, after I read my thx page on the upcoming theme v.4.0. It goes out of the blue, I unconsciously recalled his presence, his figure, and mostly his smile.^_^
Enough 'bout it, this is me and Fuu's anniversary, I won't let anything ruin it.*nod*
Talking about reviving guestbook (previous entry), I think I check out my tag board first, before reviving the guestbook. I used to have a tag board here, but then I remove it. Should I put it after established my Play and Simplicity?? 0_o

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Sunday, July 17th 2005
And Yakusoku - Suwabe Junichi flows as the wind blows
It's Fuuma's version. Despite the fact that I really love Fuuma, I like this track much than Kamui's version. For me, Yakusoku-Kamui ver.- is such a lullaby. The way, Suzumura Ken'ichi sang it really slow makes me want to sleep everytime I hear it, and this one is more rocky! I like Rock and Punk sounds better than other, but this one is an exception. No, just kidding, I like the song, not because it's Fuuma's version (maybe about 25% of the reason), but mostly because I like it. Honestly, this song kept repeating in my head since last night when I went to sleep.
It's really funny, since I read Mansfield Park as bedtime story and hummed this song, at first I didn't know why, but maybe it's just the same phenomenon with Mr. Brightside two weeks a go, I couldn't stop singing that song. Well, well... what's then...? I think it's bugging my friends though, I kept repeating the same line over and over again *sigh*, I just couldn't help it.
I'm thinking on "revive" my guestbook. At the same time I'm working on Play and Simplicity, but I still clueless about the entries. That's why I'm pushing myself to work at my best. The original plan is to fill Simplicity with lyrics, recipes (I love cooking), tarot card (not games or foretelling, just a DIY explanation), wallpapers, avatars, -maybe- some designs, and fan fiction, I guess I'll allow people to submit though (hey, I can't do it alone and all by myself, nee...?). As for play, (in my mind) I'm going to use it as an explanation for the previous, present, and upcoming themes.
Now, first thing first, huh? Maybe I'll finish simplicity first, then revive my guestbook. *nod*. Yeah, that probably will do.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Saturday, July 16th 2005
And Knife Of Romance - Phi flows as the wind blows
This song stucked in my head since yesterday, I kept humming the same tunes over and over again without noticing it. It's not really rare though, sometimes I do that, but it's kinda unexpected for me, after the same doraemon no uta for the whole week, now it's that song. It's a good song, I like the reffrain, and maybe because it's kinda resemblance Yakusoku (Fuuma ver.), everybody who know me must have known that I really deeply totally in love with Fuuma, too bad it's just 2.42 minutes. I've got the song from here.
Talking about closed sites, some cliques that listed on my blog also closed, that's really saddened me. I mean, it's a good way to know about other people or at least know that we have something in common with other people
By the way, last Monday I've watched Fantastic4 with my friend, and _the Thing_ scenes really touched me. And it makes me wonder, is it really wrong to be different? What is the meaning of "normal"? Is it when you're regular that's mean you're normal? Then, those genius and imbecile are not normal, right? then what's the line of being regular? When you get B as your most grades with some C, that called as regular? then what about people who get most A and then B? aren't they also regular since they goes to the same class and breathe the same air?
Something really bugging me, there were a group in my campus, really bunch of airheads. It seems like they've got no other abilities except gossiping and also making out with their boyfriend (should I call that as ability??), anyhow, I realized that aside from the group, each "member" actually is a nice person, but when they're together, they became someone else. When I asked them about it, they said, 'it's normal, you know. We're normal girls, it's just so regular...'
For me, such words should be said back then when we're on Junior High or first year in the High School, we're trying to be "normal" and make friends, and easily lost our identity. Their answer startled me that time, but then I'm not really thinking about it, I have my own path to walk on. But it reminds me to the time on Junior High and High School, I didn't have much friends back then, I've been wondered Is it wrong to like something different? Is it a sin to be someone different than other people. Let's say most of your friends are crazy about boy bands like boyzone, BSB, Take 5, 5ive, etc, when you like V6, SMAP, Flame, W-inds, is it wrong? they're also boy bands, but came from different country and had different language. Most of your friends will find it queer and strange of you
That's what happened when I was in High School. Most of my friends are really into boy bands and bands or manicure/pedicure, they talked about the hair extention, and they went to salon twice in a week, and other girl stuffs. While at the same time, I was absorbed with Monou Fuuma (up to this time, though), and more interested in web design rather than go to beauty clinic, I prefer to listen to L'arc~en~Ciel and watched anime that time (I'm an universal person, I listen to anything I considered as good, and watch anything I like) rather than gossiping about who's hooking up on who. My classmate sees me as someone else, they hardly accept the fact that it's the way I am, I'm different with them and they "hate" that. They even laughed at my obsession on Pokemon and Digimon and games. They called me as a child, and I was thinking isn't they the real child that hardly understand other people and always sees other as they are.
*sigh*Enough for now, I don't know why I write these. But it's true...

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Friday, July 15th 2005
And Butter-fly - Wada Kouji flows as the wind blows
He he he he, such an old song, nee...? I haven't listened to this track for a while (maybe more than just a while), but everytime I pay attention to this one, I always -and will always still- remember the story of Digimon Adventure 01. My friends used to persuade me back then. I have two best friends that really the opposite, the one is chubby and really funny and totally into Pokemon!! Yeah, he used to like it sooo much, he could mention their names and also their evolution items and element *sigh*, ~I was the same too~. And there's another one that small and thin, and really loves Digimon. He could say the evolution degree and also what will be what when they're evolve with what. Quite confusing huh? Anyway, sometimes they're arguing over which one is coolest, and put me in the quarrel too. I like Digimon and Pokemon both, and I coudln't choose. I always think Patamon, Gatomon, Chibimon are cute *heart, heart, heart* tehy're just ssssoooooooo cute and lovely, but I also loves Pikachu so much, not only Pikachu but also Eeve (Ibui in Jap), Dratini, and Mew.
Phew, it was a joyful life back then on High School. And there's not a girl that loves Pokemon and Digimon as much as I do in my school, they're absorbed with other girlie stuffs, from nail polish, to boy. I think it's kinda boring to get around only in those stuff when we had much things to do. Up to this time I still couldn't understand that.
It's still morning, and I hate wake up early, it's really funny whenever it came to holiday, I dislike holiday because I dislike staying in a place for a while -except in front of my lovely PC ^_^- I like meeting people, and when it's holiday I feel like I'm absorbed in my own place, I like that fact, but also hate it. Nah, nevermind, I never like or dislike something as really like and hate. I just stay in between. No wonder Puma called me as a gray person, while he's a chameleon, the transparent one. Hmmm....
I'm not in the right mood for holiday, and has nothing goes right on my mind. My sister and I had a joke about the song title, we used to call it flying butter, Butter in my mother tongue is mentega and fly is terbang, our language more used in H-T system, if you learn Linguistic you'll know what I mean. So, my sister called this one as mentega terbang or Flying butter. I once mislead by the title when I searched for it in the Internet, I thought it was butterfly, and taken to penicillin homepage, but when I read the text it's much different with the one I want, so I watch the series once again and realized that it's written as butter-fly. Psshuuu....~~

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Thursday, July 14 2005
And Kiss Me - Janne Da Arc flows as the wind blows
It's been a boring day for me. I've got nothing to do and not completely in the right mood. My only obsession is to read, that's it! I just want to read, and nothing more. Seems pretty unbelievable. But that's rather true, I have The Da Vinci Code and Mansfield Park in my booklist, surely something to handle *_*
I just bought Calista's new book, not really new actually. I've been waiting for this sequel for a while. I've read the first book, Le Ciel and now the second from the trilogy Le Ciel: The journey Continues just been released. At first, I thought the second book would be titled Le Ciel: The Princess and Female Demon but I was tricked o_o;;;
My Dragon Warrior VII didn't do much progress sometimes I messed it up and throw my playstation's pad and then just went sleep (really not a good habit). There are so much thing to do, and I hardly keep track on them, I felt it's kinda pathetic, but... what the heck... I still have another games to played, such Valkyrie Profile, Lunar 2 Eternal Blue,and others. Maybe I better go to my grandma's house to play it.
Some good sites has been closed or sold, it's very pitiful since they're just so good and they had some marvelous contents, I guess I better worked up on my cliques and fanlisting list. By the way, I've just figured out that I had an adoption page in my personal site, I haven't open it for a while and when I take a look at it, I've just figured out that I used some cool codes there (in my own opinion), and I have adoptees!! Wow o_0
I think I put those adoptees on my page, I no longer using the personal page, it's too confusing and tiring, sides I hate the adds. I know, I know, I'm using the free page, I shouldn't complaint about the banner or adds, but when it has quite disturbing the layout, that's what I called annoying.
I'm completely amazed by those sites that offered blog for their member, I've join some similar sites (friend's recommendation) and they all offering personal blog and so on, and so on. I'm thinking about having two blogs actually, one in my original language, and the other one is this. I've own this one for a while, and won't let myself easily driven by 'unknown forces' ^_^. But in my true opinion, they didn't offer much since it's free, so all blog will be using their templates, at a point, I hate templates, but in the other hand, they come handy when I get stuck or didn't have any idea. It's quite pathetic since I chose the name tabris, the angel of free will.

Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

It's Wednesday, July 13, 2005
And Fall of roses ~Sanctus~ - Juri flows as the wind blows
Just downloaded the song from here I never knew or expected that Setsuna's theme will be that short (2 minutes!!!)
Well, I'm still searching for my fave songs though, and also those hard-to-gets songs. Sometimes, I fer confuse on what I'm looking for. I get Yami no matsuei songs (Eden, Love Me, and Devil's Thrill).
Change the layout and feel so relieved *_*
My pain and burden has gone *evil laugh* I have prepared the next layout while listening to some new tracks on my playlist. Hope it'll finish soon.
Rumors, can't stop it, somehow need it

Tabris is a sophomore in an English Department of Art and Language Faculty in a Public University in her hometown.
She was born on October 1st, 1985. really crazy about Monou Fuuma, games, animanga, and technology.
She loves to write and read -what a common hobby-.
About the image : Kigai Yuuto is definately the man! Though he is so devilish, I still put him as no.3 after Fuuma and Seishirou-san in my fave X guys list. This image taken from here and you can also found images from the X artbook. The theme now is Secret. And I think Yuuto is kind of guy that kept so many secrets. Frankly, I even can't define him, and that's makes me wonder if I can define Fuuma/Kamui no Chi no Ryu, why I can't define Yuuto? *.O
Current projects :
Reading : Inu Yasha/Tenshi Kinryoku/X/Harry Potter/Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle/Wolf's Rain
Watching: Gundam Seed/Yu-Gi-Oh/Inu Yasha/Meitantei Conan
Playing : PS: Legend of Dragoon/Final Fantasy IX/Final Fantasy VI/Legend Of Mana/Brave Fencer Musashi/Digimon World II
DC : Grandia II/Evolution II -Far Off promise-/The Ring
Working : Play/Simplicity

Tom Marvolo Riddle - http://blog.burmecia.net
Hermione Granger - http://plume.burmecia.net
Sirius Black - http://valinor.burmecia.net
Fred Weasley - http://www.awe-of-she.net/pika
George Weasley - http://nova.besaid.net
Oliver Wood - http://burmecia.net/kira/blog
Draco Malfoy - http://asura.die-daily.org
Ginny Weasley - http://kawaiirin.pitas.com
Harry Potter - http://www.bouncing-star.net/sarahs/
Ron Weasley - http://yume-umi.net/sheri
Severus Snape - http://ambivalence0.pitas.com/
Cedric Diggory - http://yume-umi.net/frost
Fleur Delacour - http://magical-rave.net/valdemar
Cho Chang - http://hakkai.net/mishta
Fawkes - http://anne.euphoric.nu
Remus Lupin - http://angel.pure-style.org
Hedwig - http://www.jiru.org/~xraiko
Albus Dumbledore - http://reneta.doubt-tricks.net
Nymphadora Tonks - http://log.byakuren.net/
Luna Lovegood - http://www.geocities.com/orchard_light/yagate.html
Bane - http://val-halla.net/blog
Nevelle Longbottom - http://jrockqueen.diaryland.com
Minerva McGonnagal - tabris17.pitas.com

タブリス©2005