Song Mood: Moby - Porcelain
Humm... life sure is strange (and go even stranger) when my life turned out to be something as expected... XD
Well, a few days ago. I went into shambles, for sure. Yeah... it's right before I got the funny tarot reading. I went to shambles since someone dumped me Hahahahahah.... yeah... that's a lame reason! Well, it's not because he dumped me that I sunk into devastation. But it's somewhat remind me of the moments that I don't want to remember. So, I said the words I was unable to said before. I spilled it out, and I made some decisions that the old me wouldn't be able to make in such short time.
Yeah, in short... I do proud of myself ^_____________^
At a point, I think that I've found my Nana x Ren relationship... it's so unhealthy and totally fragile. Surely something I can't depend on, but still... I admit that I feel happy at the moment. I'm happy since I can speak out what's on my mind (unlike before when I relied heavily on telephaty). I'm happy since there's a real person who can make me blushes. I'm happy since he's somewhat just like what I want *sigh*
Our last made up was like hell... it was pretty shitty, and I mean it! I was like talking to a new friend and well... he's the one acting weird :3
We end up cuddling and snuggling again though *sigh* See... it's not a healthy one, definitely! Somehow it's the most reliable and firm relationship I had so far >_> strange? yeah sure... shitty? maybe... Guess I'll just have enjoy this relationship :3
Let's play on 04:38 a.m.
ROFL... Life sure is strange XD
It's Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Song Mood : Ellegarden - (Can't Remember) How We Used To Be
Life sure is strange... This is something I've learned from a long long time a go. I've just... well... I've just laughed about it now. I know, I know... it's pretty late... but still... lol... gosh I'm still laughing about it.
To be exact, my life (and also my mood) swing too easy recently. Just a few hours of great making up... I've got into another fight that lead to 'maybe' a separation, but maybe not.
I've done a tarot test, and it's really unlike me to believe on such divination... But strangely, it does feel 'right'. The results are like the bottom line of my current problem, even though I think everybody in any problem will be happy to get the result as I am... Still... I was laughing very hard when I read the results XD
The Devil - Hermit - Death triplets... what a nice combo, nee? Hahahahahahaha.... but it's true somehow... I have to think over very carefully... and tactfully and definitely not as blunt as I used to be (what a question... I wonder if I can do that?). An answer only I can answer and satisfy myself with. *sigh*
Again... life sure is strange... *sigh* and we're just a bunch of idiots walking aimlessly on an infinite loop.
Let's play on 08:39 a.m.
*sigh* why the good thing always come to an end?
It's Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Song Mood: Suede - Saturday Night
*sigh* Last weekend I've just watched Skid Row concert... and they're totally rock out! Yeah!!!!!
And just make up... but then it's all gone again... Uhm... I haven't got the mood for blogging... even now, actually... but somehow I can't help it T_T
Damn it... I just want to stay away from the net... for a few days? maybe... but I know it's impossible... I'm too attached to this damn thing called 'the net' *sigh*
Aw well... gotta go now... cya all later.
Let's play on 06:31 p.m.
Still Fxxked up T____________T
It's Friday, March 14, 2008
Song Mood: Velvet Revolver - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Yah... ada banyak cerita... should be... *sigh*
Should be attending Skid Row's concert now... but well... that's another story... xD
Okay... let's leave that to another story ne? :3 Ciaosu!
Let's play on 01:42 a.m.
Eh... I've fallen again =3
It's Monday, March 10, 2008
Song Mood: Nightwish - Phantom of The Opera
Yesh, I've fallen again... Fuu really caught me in his arms again. Oh okay, I'll start from the very start. Err... after a long while, I have to catch up with the last time I read Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle series. *nods* The last chapter I read was around 90, so I have to find the best way to catch up since it's already reached chapter 184. Currently, I'm already up to chapter 130 :3
And around this chapter, it's Fuu!! Fuu!!! My beloved one and only Monou Fuuma <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I'm so happy!! Ureshii na~~~!!!
He's still as cute and adorable as ever. Okay, Tsubasa styled Fuu.... kyakyakyakyakyakyakyakaykyakykya I went hysterical, espeially since his personality is just... *sigh* as lovely... enigmatic, selfish, arrogant. Gah, he's just the one that I want!!!!!!
I think I have fallen for him again now *blush*
Uhmm... anyway, this morning (more exactly 2 hours a go), I have a talk with Baka Repu. >_>
I thought he would just check his offline message without any intention to reply. But again... I was mistaken, he suddenly replied me T_T Why did he?! He's ruin my sleeping mode T_T
Well, it's been a while though, and I can't lie when I said I'm rather miss talking with him ^^
Humm... I wonder what others will say when they read this entry XD
Ah Ciaosu!!!!
Let's play on 06:40 a.m.
Yesh, it's true... I'm aimless *sigh*
It's Sunday, March 9, 2008
Song Mood: The Miceteeth - Soak The Light
Yeah, true.. I got aimless for several reasons. *sigh*
A few days a go, I got into a fight with a precious friend (well, since I don't have much friends, all of them are precious to me). So, what's wrong back then was when I got into the fight, it's my own fault... and hell yeah I have to drop down all my ego to apologize. *sigh* Sounds just unlike me, nee? But still, I think it's compulsary and it's normal to do so. And yeah... I dropped all my ego and said "I'm sorry..." :P
Next is thanks to Kampz... my bro! YO! You really caught me in a bit too deep than I wanted to XD
No, I'm not intending to say it's yous fault when you brought "him" as the subject and I replied it as casual as I thought, but hey, you see right through me XD and yeah... based on my answers yesterday... both me and him were like mirror image, maybe that's why it's a good thing that we quit the whole thing before even started it.
What made it worse is the fact that I just talked with xxx last night after those fun with Kampz *sigh*. Yeah, life sure is strange and you won't know when it will take you. So we have a talk, as usual, it was nice, normal, and pretty much OK Gosh, can't I stressed the two letter more? LOL. just as soon as I closed the talk, I remember what I felt back then, being aimless and confused when he said those words. Gah, I hate these moments... T_T I hate it when I have to repeat my own history that I don't even want to think about it again. All those chain of circumstances lead me to think "Gosh, what should I do?" and yeah... I'm pretty much aimless at the moment.
Anyway, yesterday, Kampz asked me "hey, sis, how's your relationship with "him"?" and I said, "like hell that I care!" Kampz just laughed and asked me again, "what if he suddenly at his house and called you, saying 'Hi, I need you now...'?" I just looked at him, and gave him the same look with the one I gave to Lina back then when she asked me if that bastard is asking me to marry him. Then I said as simpled as this. "What? OK, pick me up, yes!" XD Yeah, I answered like that, and Kampz went burst out laughing XD
Memories sure aren't made to be forgotten, no matter how hard we try. *sigh*
Ah yeah... one thing I remember was "he" called me loli-chan back then XD and that's something that I treasured the most. Kampz told me that "he" told Kampz something like this. "I thought Hikari is still in junior High!" and that made me wonder... loli face.... *sigh*
Let's play on 12:55 p.m.
It hurts... Ittai Yo...
It's Thursday, March 6, 2008
Yuta, Toshi, Chiho, Jiro - Sad Sad Kiddie
Humm... I'm in pain... I'm in pain for some reasons... *sigh*
First reason is because my Yang betrayed me... Humm... no... not like that! Our relationship wasn't the lovey dovey type... We're best friend. But still, it hurts when she said that her ex ever beated her. It hurts me, not because she never said anything about this, but because she endured it for a few months later. Gosh, she even said "last xxx was our first year." And I went like WTF are you saying!!!
It hurts me... more than anything... It hurts. It hurts me since I was clueless on what to do. It hurts me since I can feel the pain. It hurts me because she knew she have my VIP card but she didn't use it! But what hurt me most was the fact that I can't do anything, even now! When I heard it... I can't show a tear or just say something to show that it hurts me as well. No... even worse than that... It hurts me most when I realized that I didn't feel a thing back then >_>
Yeah, yeah, yeah, twisted logic XD
Still... it hurts me... realizing the facts... *sigh*
Let's play on 12:53 p.m.
Yes, you are my flower in the window
It's Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
Liat video klip lagu ini jam 3 pagi di MTV. And I fell right away for the song. Lagunya... lucu... I mean it's cute, and so is the lyrics.
I'm still in jazzy mood right now. :3 better say not much about this and that *sigh*
Bikin satu kebodohan kayak dulu lagi... *sigh* Yah begitulah... bedanya, yang ini benar2 impossibilie perche. Ukukukukuku ^^ I don't know why I keep saying such things while in fact I always think differently and it was just a spur of moment thing. I mean... it's just a momentary infatuation.
Well, since it's just a momentary thing, I guess I should let it slip like nothing ever happened.
Let's play on 09:32 a.m.
About the past
It's Friday, February 29th 2008
Song Mood : Ellegarden - (Can't Remember) How We Used To Be
Aku hari ini tiba2 pengen ngomongin masalah past. Yep, past... masa lalu, lampau. Yah, efek sampingan gara2 lagi nge translate Izo's lover kali, ditambah lagi tadi baca log lama waktu masih seru2nya #Shibuya, anak2 pada ngumpul semua, Skullblock, nFath, aku, minggu2 ada si repu, sun, yuki, de el el, ngobrol ga jelas sampe jelas sampe jadi ga jelas lagi XD
I miss those times, and then I got wondered, "Kapan yah, kita bisa ngumpul kayak gini lagi?" dan ternyata... jawabannya yang ada di kepala justru "Well, karena itu ga mungkin terulang, hal itu disebut masa lalu kan...?" History does repeat, I know, but in other sense, history repeating in their own way. Mungkin sekarang buat banyak orang history repeats or maybe doesn't move at all. *sigh* Rada sakit waktu sadar kalau hal semacam itu nggak mungkin terulang lagi. Seru yang gila2an, ngobrol yang pada rame *sigh*
Aku inget ada orang yang susah beranjak dari masa lalu dan terus2an ngeliat segala sesuatunya seperti dulu, aku tahu juga ada orang yang terlalu optimis dan berpandangan terlalu jauh ke depan. Ada juga yang cuma bisa bengong ngeliatin semuanya berubah. One thing for sure, loneliness isn't something we can't escape, just like me... can't escape from being a robot. Iyaph, saya robotic. Emotionless, heartless, cuma bisa 'ah' 'oh', nggak ngerti human relationship, susah buat punya temen. Well, yesterday, someone called me a player and I just laughed at him. He doesn't know that I always failed on a thing called relationship. Apah yah, yah emang begitulah saya... Huwakakakaka
Pathetic? True *sigh*
Satu pelajaran hari ini, since it can't be replaced and return to, that's why we called it as past, and that's the same reason why we leave it behind.
Let's play on 1.40 PM
Agmon?
It's Tuesday, February 26th 2008
Song Mood : Ellegarden - Lonesome
No... aku bukannya bikin typo waktu mo nulis Agumon, bukan... I'm going to talk about Agnes Monica. Ada apakah gerangan hingga saya mau ngomentarin artis lokal di blog yang super selfish ini? Well, ini gara2 aku sebel sama yang namanya Agnes Monica. Why? Karena stylistnya sering sekali niru gaya rambutku. Bleh -.- Lame reason, I know. Tapi rasanya jengah waktu ketemu orang di jalan dan dikasih komentar "Wueh, niru si Agnes Monica yah?" While I just like O_o?? Agmon? How come??
Dulu, di salah satu iklannya dia juga, a few weeks before that commercial break was previewd, I done my hair in an unique way, waduh susah dijelasin dah... Jadi waktu pake model rambut itu lagi, pas kebetulan liat iklannya dia T_T Bleh stylist payah. Okay next, current hairdo. Model rambut yang sekarang kan emang aku niru Akari, pake acara bilang "Yang belakang potong cowok, yang depan biarin panjang yes?". And she did it again T_________T
Ini memang semi ga beralasan, and yeah, I'm bitching myself too much and bragging about useless thing like Hairdo here. But still, apa yah, it's about Pride for me. Ada satu kepuasan tersendiri waktu punya model rambut tertentu dan nggak ada orang lain yang cukup gila buat niruin model tersebut (Yeah, I do still remember how the hairdresser laughed at me when I requested such strange hairdo like this). Lebih kacau lagi waktu bad mood, ada budheku, dan dia bilang "Eh, kamu dulu potong rambut kayak Agnes Monica ya?" dalam hati "Agnes Monica my ass!" di luaran, a smirk and a simple line "aku potong rambut duluan sebelon si Agnes Monica."
Let's play on 7.29 PM