Calendars: housewives declare war to those osé
"a warning to husbands and fiancèes: 66% will not never accept that it comes hung in house a calendar sexy." So "not never" means there's still a chance for us husbands and fiancèes to have our calendars sexy, right?

Vagueness of terror at the Armenian Parliament
Vagueness?? The Armenian prime minister and nine other parliament members were assassinated while they were in session. What could possibly be considered vague about THAT? "Television showed images on which at least two men in long coats draw with automatic weapons on the members of Parliament who hide behind their desks." Ah, so these killers were influenced by The Matrix, just like those Columbine fuckheads.

The sex begins to 70 years
«"In the age more advanced the love it is not more " genitalismo ". The sex is in all the body. And the body becomes as the ocean in which all it is pains, all is vagina.» OK, I really did not want to know that.

The mayor wants to shave towers
What, have the towers grown beards or something? The mayor says, "I WANT TO DEMOLISH towers and buildings of Mount-Saint-Martin." Oh, DEMOLISH, why didn't he say so? In that case I think he should just play that old video game Rampage for a while until he gets the feeling out of his system.

Fewer policy, more Volkswagen
"Chancellor Schroeder drives for one week to Japan and China" in a Volkswagen?? Good luck with that! "Schroeder is accompanied by a 40-koepfigen economic delegation and the responsible Minister Werner Mueller." In one Volkswagen?? Wow!

Gabriel, the wild child of Internet in his Andalusian village
"Each day, per hour when his/her small comrades loop their portfolios to go in class, Gabriel assoit simply in front of its screen." Ah, but what is education without the looping of one's portfolios! Seriously, though, it is really weird for a kid to grow up almost entirely just on the Internet. Actually, is it too late for me to become "a wild child of Internet" too?

PF already apprehended 1.060 videobingos
Alright, videobingos, the jig is up. Put your, uh, levers or whatever above your heads. "Some of the apprehended machines show symbols of animals that, in accordance with the policy, are the registered mark of the bicheiros." Don't fuck with the bicheiros, videobingos!

The films of today in TV
TV in Spain sounds even better than TV in Germany, with shows like (when I checked) "Húsar in the tile roof", "Why it deceives your husband to you?" (a comedy for "Adults with reserves"), "Good night Mr. monster" and "Explosive Friday"!

" we have all our neuroses "
This "GermanJewish dialog" is evidence that the non-Jewish population of Germany still has a long way to go before truly accepting Jewish people as fellow Germans. Referring to the recently deceased president of the Central Council of the Jews in Germany, the article's author says, "He did not succeed in overcoming the boundaries between Germans and Jews." This implies that Jews in Germany are not actually Germans. And that's just a verbal slip-up from a journalist who's trying to sound unbiased.

She finds the job here
Subtitled "GUIDE TO THE NEW TRADES / WHERE TO FIND THEM", this is a list of the 10 biggest new jobs in Italy for women or something. To give you a quick idea, Webmaster is one of the more exciting ones on the list. "Responsible of the emergency" and "Comunicatore of enterprise" sound like even less fun.

Serge Kubla wants to marry the two Walloon airports
This is so wrong. Even more wrong than that Belgian who wanted to marry the elf and the porn star or whatever a few weeks back. I mean come on, AIRPORTS? What's wrong with you Belgians?

Only no black support for a lame red one
«In many halls, living or sleep tubes of pious humans in Bavaria - gestickt painted, or carved - the hope-glad message hangs: " always, if you mean, any longer, comes from somewhere a light flax does not go."» Nevermind that Bavarians apparently live in SLEEP TUBES, but what kind of a political slogan is THAT? Could you imagine G.W. Bush or even Al Gore trying to win votes talking about LIGHT FLAX? Even Jesse Ventura has more sense than THAT.

a law against the electronic swindles
The electronic swindles aren't legal anymore? Fuck! Specifically, "cyberquattering." The truth is that no domain registrar will let you do that anymore anyway so it doesn't really matter whether it's legal or not.

Watch television!
"Mit FOCUS on-line one can you your ideal TV program arrange: Select, which pleases you best and which you would like to see dearest." OK, so it's just a TV Guide, but it's a GERMAN TV Guide. When I checked, the Kriminalfilm "Columbo: Deadly comeback" was playing on ORF1. For extra laughs, select Erotik under the "Topic desks" menu.

The mayor of Paris increasingly alone…
Mayor Tiberi's old college buddies just don't have time to hang out with him anymore. They don't even bother to call. But they do find the time to talk behind his back: "Leave me until the next summer holidays to convince Jean (note: Tiberi) to leave quietly, and to prepare it with this departure. If you continue your harassing, it will never leave!" It?? What kind of friend refers to you as "it"?? And if all that wasn't bad enough, "A majority of the French think that Jean Tiberi should give up his armchair." At least the poor man sit in peace!

In Germany still no victims
So when will Germans start dying from contaminated beef already, huh, Tim brown one? When??

There is powder white woman on your moneies
In Italy, "Eccole the banknotes to the cocaine, contaminated from dealers and consumers." You mean anyone there can get high on coke for free, just from their dollar -- er, Lira bills or whatever? "One, coming from one from the local publics of course of Ticinese Door, rich zone of nocturnal premises, probably is used in order to sniffare." Probably?? If I lived in Italy I think I'd be sniffare-ing all that powder white woman off my moneies 24 hours a day.

September 15-16, 1999: 11 more articles, from "Resistance to the garlic sausage" to "A raincoat, which can sweat"

August 19-20: 10 more articles, from "Nathan to the new president of Singapore" to "I have created and killed the Italian cinema"

August 16-18: 24 more articles, from "Rabiate Zyniker" to "If the Pope wants to see the devil"

August 10-12: 19 more articles, from "So..." to "Do dead ones tell about the life?"

August 7-9: 15 more articles, from "Over the skin nothing" to "Manager of the night"

August 3-6: 16 more articles, from "Continuous basketball in Spain" to "10 000 defective glasses"

July 31 - August 2: 16 more articles, from "So the Englishmen want to out-cheat us" to "You want to svalvolare with we?"

July 29-30: 15 more articles, from "the best meat of the world" to "the laboratories of the horror"

July 27-28: 21 more articles, from "Revolution Bisex" to "strip tease in a bowling alley"