You want to svalvolare with we?
Beautiful! It has been bombato of beer and brasas and I'm on my bipper in my bödro bucket with my bradipos right now but I'll be right over so you can make a bocale of me, my little buzzicona. Here is an Italian dictionary of "the juvenile language of fine millenium ... with which the boys communicate today."
Gorilla in the pot
"In war-wrecked Angola humans eat mice, if they find otherwise nothing more" and "Village inhabitants, that live in the Kahusi national park, kill for some time the mountain gorillas threatened by becoming extinct, in order to eat it." I'll never complain about food again. OK, I probably will, but I really shouldn't.
The crazy summer of China
"Rock, macrodiscotecas and sexual freedom to rate of the last success of Ricky Martin. It is crazy China!" Mr. Martin, as The Wall Street Journal would refer to him, is causing an increase of "more repetitive music techno" and "the diseases of sexual transmission" among the PRC's "Nokia generation." As Shenzhen's "heavy metal decaffeinated" ensemble Destroy sing, "We go, baby."
Zippert zappt
"Everyone knows someone, which knows someone, which heard already times of one, that, says we times, with Claudia boat operator ate, with Michael Jackson slept or with bishop Tutu sang." Boy, I really must not swing in the right circles. "But one does not know anybody, which knows someone, which heard at least already times of someone, its uncle a ratio measuring instrument at the television has." OK, I think they're referring to something like a Nielsen box and I actually went to a party a few weeks ago at the house of this band called Crackpipe Wisconsin, who, incidentally, won the Conan O'Brien College Band Search last year, and anyway, THEY had a, er, ratio measuring instrument.
The ball is multicolored
"And the nightmare does not only take ninety minutes." Some sort of real-life German Eyes-Wide-Shut-esque orgy involving "A quiet, serious God man" and a "schauerliche, multicolored Tralala." Sounds kinky!
They shake the king of Hollywood
Did you realize Oliver Stone is the king of Hollywood? I sure didn't. But people in Italy think he is, I guess. He's like the Italian Jerry Lewis or something. Even though he's not Italian. There was this one sketch on an episode of The Ben Stiller Show about an amusement park called Oliver Stone Land that had a family ride of The Doors and Born on the Fourth of July wheelchair bumpercars. I watched and taped all thirteen episodes of The Ben Stiller Show in a row tonight on my brand new Sony V Premium Grade VHS videocasettes I bought at Best Buy today. Does that make me a dork?
SCHUMACHER WHO?
Even after reading this entire article, I still have no real idea who Schumacher is. I mean, I know he went "In seven days from comprimario to star." And he's referred to as "this Ferrari" so I'm thinking maybe he's a car. But then I read he "also exalts the formidable professional bravura the team" so I'm thinking, some sort of athlete? But then I read this: "The red ones have gained many large prizes, but this happening will have a place of honor in their history" and it hits me like a bullet: Schumacher is a giant prize-winning tomato in an Italian county fair!
Shakespeare in version hard
Minors are now prohibited from attending a "rielabora 12 commedie of Shakespeare" called "The pièce" at "the Festival di Salisburgo" in Austria due to its excessive amount of "sexual actions, violences and turpiloqui." I don't know what turpiloqui is, but if it's anything like sexual actions or violences, then bring it on!
How papita!
I think this could really be the first big catch-phrase for Tabouli: "How papita!" Actually, it'd be way more appropriate for Pitas.com itself now that I think about it. Pitas, Pitas, Pitas. So uh, the Constitutional Court of Colombia "it decides this week the luck of the Upac system." Which, unfortunately, has nothing at all to do with Tupac.
Laborers of the city hall only receive 20 days
Some asshole named Celso Pitta is "idealized for mayor" of São Paulo, Brazil but is only paying 5,400 city hall workers for "20 days from the 30 days of work." The front page headline for this article said "Pitta gives trick in the work fronts" which makes him sound like a hooker or something. But anyway, I thought I'd take this Pitta moment to mention Pitas.com, a free new Web service that helps make Tabouli possible. Sign up for your own free pita today!
The dangerous bet of Fernán Gómez
"Fernando Fernán Gómez does not choose easy projects." He is totally unafraid to wear the same embarrassing style of overalls worn by Johnny Depp as a romantic retard in the early-'90s schlockfest Benny & Joon.
All the power to the portantini
"The 1400's barons. A commissioner. thousands Cobas rabid. The uni against the others. Travel in a hospital-monster. Paralyzed from five lobby." The plot-summary of an upcoming summer period-piece action blockbuster? No, it's just about how in Italy, "the hospital it is puzzle of hundred of small feudi everyone tightened holding very from a head physician who trains its little places read (approximately five to head in average), its little nurses and its structures, without to accept interferences." I'm sure the nurses really appreciate being called "little nurses."
Withdrawn munsters of the sale
Herman, Eddie, Marilyn and Lily were all quite withdrawn today at the sale, pouting and silent. Grandpa, however, was in a wonderful mood. "This one carried only on the munsters the Boy friends of small size (120 grams) whose limiting dates of consumption went until August 26." Those really are some tiny munster Boy friends!
When the monkeys learn how to speak London
"The mom chimpanzee can I «would have said have an iced coffee, please? », while the orang-outang would have required «can you buy a hamburger to me? »" You just know that headline was meant to insinuate that the English are dumb apes, though.
The British ox returns in our plates
Follow-up: "Tomorrow, Great Britain will be able to take again its beef and veal exports, including bound for France." Remind me to never post another article about oxes in France again.
So the Englishmen want to out-cheat to us
"The competitor around the football WM 2006 builds for 960 million Marks an ultramodern new Wembleystadion. And which occurs meanwhile in Germany?" Apparently not a whole lot, so the Germans are jealous. Is that really enough reason for them to accuse the Englishmen of wanting to out-cheat them, though?? No, I think not.
Thanks to Cruel.com for picking Tabouli as Cruel Site of the Day for July 30.
