email: autumnriver@yahoo.com

This is an illustration from Berserk, a manga by Kentaro Miura.  It is the complex and often harsh story of a young swordsman making his way in the world.  The art is gorgeous, but some of the subject matter is not for the weak of stomach.  This image is taken from the Italian site Berserk Homepage and used with their permission.

My Passions
Manga: X, Berserk, CCS, Basara, KKJ, Rurouni Kenshin, Sensei!, Naruto, Juline, Suki Dakara Suki

TV: Buffy, WWF, Home & Garden Network,  Iron Chef, International Channel

Reading: Celtic Art: the methods of construction by George Bain

Biseinen:  Kusanagi (X), Fuuma (X), Touya (CCS), Gatts (Berserk), Itou (Sensei!), Kakashi (Naruto), The Red King (Basara), Cho (RK), All the CCD cuties (Clamp Campus Detectives, X) and most especially Bob (Husband)

Hobbies: Learning Japanese, Calligraphy, drawing, writing, hiking, touring old houses, collecting foxes.

Cat of the moment: Lily

    

Subterfuge: By the Firelight

Paw-Paw

My dad just called. My grandfather died this evening. Looks like his heart just gave out. I cried quite a bit, even though I still think it's a mercy. His mind was nearly gone and his body was in pain. At least he's at peace now.

We're getting hit with a blizzard right now here in Iowa, so I'll have to see if I can get out of here to go to the funeral in Florida. Dad offered to pay for me, but not for Bob, which really made me burn. I mean, he's my husband, he's family, but evidently not in my parent's eyes. Bob said he didn't care, he really couldn't get away from work this week anyway. He's such a sweetie. How the heck did I meet up with such a nice guy? So he'll stay here and keep the home fires burning while I'm gone. I just love that man o'mine.

Really, I'm going down because my mom is going to need me there. She's handling things pretty well, but she's dealing with this and with my grandmother falling apart on her. Her sisters will be coming down as well, but I think she needs someone "on her side" if you know what I mean. Yeah, my family is brutal sometimes.

So anyway, I may be out of touch for a bit, although if my dad has his laptop with him, I may post something. Nah, I probably won't. I'm kinda scared, but otoh, it'll be nice going down south again. I don't miss the climate, but I sure miss the culture.

Oh, I did ask my folks about that David guy's last name. They didn't remember offhand, but they said they'd check around when they got home to see if they had anything that might have the last name. They were surprised I remembered as much as I did. Yeah, well, these kind of things tend to burn their way into your brain, you know? Anyway, enough of that, I'm too busy grieving to get angry right now.

See ya'll when I get back to the corn country.

Friday, March 1, 2002 10:57 p.m.

Freaked out rant

EDIT: TO THOSE STRANGERS WRITING ME REGARDING THIS INFORMATION. I WILL ONLY REPORT THIS _IF_ I CAN CONFIRM THIS IS THE SAME GUY. I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF IT IS.

Sorry if I start sounding irate in this post. I've been running a fever for the past four days and am cranky. Since most of my oft-visited crew have been fairly quiet lately, I'm gonna take this opportunity to spew some bile. Some of the following will be disturbing and personal, so you are warned.

1. Danielle van Dam. That poor child. And her poor family. At least they found her, so there's some closure for her loved ones. But still, this is so like the case of Polly Klaas, where a young girl was abducted from her own home. How can a parent defend his/her child against something like that? It just makes me sick. Whoever did this deserves to die. Does California have the death penalty? Iowa doesn't, and it's a damn shame. On most issues, I tend to be pretty liberal, but not here. And certainly not about this. Most certainly not about this.

2. And I just don't get it. Okay, I can see a man being interested in a girl that's maybe 14 or 15. I've seen it often enough. God knows that a lot of the girls I knew in school were sexually active by that time. But Jesus, 7 years old?

2. David Westerfield. Innocent until proven guilty by a court of law. Actually, the only reason I'm mentioning this alleged piece of trash is that I freaked out when I heard the name. At the age of six, my babysitter's teenaged son David dragged me and another girl into their basement, pulled out his dick and proceded to molest the two of us. He told us he would kill us if we told anyone. Being a child of spirit, I waited until my mother was in the bathroom (thus, to my mind, insuring that there was no way David could know that it was me that ratted him out) and told her what happened. I'd like to say that the jerk was arrested, etc, but this was 1972 and molestation was something that was kept quiet. They talked to his parents and we never went back to that babysitter again. Please note that I'm NOT sure if this is the same guy...I don't remember their last name clearly, although it was W...something. Hence my freakout. And he'd be around the right age. If it turns out he lived in the Chicagoland area in the early 1970's, I'm gonna be sick. But David W. is common enough in these United States, so maybe I'm panicked for no reason. But damn!

3. Yes, that was 30 years ago. Yes, I'm older than you thought. Get over it. You can grow up, finish college, get a job, a car, a husband, a mortgage and even a kid or two, and still remain a geeky fangirl. Age does NOT suddenly make one more interested in golf, the PTA or church bake-sales. And the money priorities tend to be towards paying the bills and maintaining the house and car and retirement fund, but after that, why NOT spend it on what you like?

Anyway, that's all for now.

Friday, March 1, 2002 08:55 a.m.

Isn't It Romantic?

Well, thanks to Rachel *waves at Rachel--you got a blog, chica?*, I was able to see X TV 18. *Happy dance* The whole episode focused on Kusanagi and Yuzuriha!! Kusanagi especially was able to shine, although by the end of the episode, we're still pretty much in the dark about his motivations and intentions. The anime has yet to mention what his powers are, either. However, he does have a great exchange with Fuuma at the end of the episode, and although it's clear he does not see Yuzuriha in the same romantic light that she sees him, he obviously is developing some feeling for her. Actions speak louder than words, especially for a guy like him who doesn't say a whole lot. Despite his extra screentime, the romantic angle has been dampened down a bit (none of the handholding that went into the manga is present here, but that may be due to the animators trying to save money). She still manages to surprise him, but he doesn't seem to mind.

So enough fangirl ranting. It's a good episode and puppy Inuki is very cute. And despite the bitching of certain contingents in blogland regarding the lack of S&S goodness, I'm finding the X TV series to be quite good and I'm VERY happy that Yuzuriha is getting a lot of attention (what did you expect? She's the figure most of the targeted audience--teenaged girls--would identify with!). I have some issues with the animation in places (X is no Card Captor Sakura quality-wise), but all-in-all, it's turning out quite well. I still like the manga better, but part of that is my love for that medium.

I'm taking out my "fanfic-in-progress" section. As most of you know, I have a bad habit of jumping between stories when I'm writing. I take forever to finish anything because of this. I'm now going to concentrate on one or two stories and put the rest on indefinite hiatus. That way, hopefully, I can finally finish one of these. I may or may not get back to the others. Sorry, that includes the Karen lemon. It wasn't very good anyway. The story I'm working on is the final part of Smiles of a Summer's Night/Wings of Desire. So we'll see if this can speed things up a bit.

And I'm tired. Will social blog later this weekend.

Friday, February 22, 2002 09:21 p.m.

Being Social Again

*wince* Oh, Alison, that sucks! What IS it with computers dying all of a sudden? You're the third person I know that is having comp problems.

Lika, good luck on your papers, chica.

Ammie-chan, sorry to hear about your cold. Hope you're feeling better! I also like to stay in bed when I'm sick, or heck, even when I'm well. Bed is a nice place. ;-D

Kerianne, I'm also curious to see what's up with that upcoming X TV 19 episode. However, I REALLY want to see X TV 18! Imagine! A whole episode devoted to Kusanagi/Yuzuriha goodness! (so I'm a rabid fangirl, so sue me).

Satsuki-chan, I absolutely LOVE Shinesmen. "Shiinna, get in the glowing green square!" LOL! It's brilliant, brilliant, I say!

Service Announcement: The ISP has finally moved over to the new one, so anyone who's tried to contact me at the @home.com address, please use 1szabotage@mchsi.com instead. Also, the CFFML Modern World contest is now going on. Please feel free to nominate your favorite CLAMP "Modern World" series fanfic!

Finished the first volume of Berserk and all I can say is hot damn, that series is fantastic!

Sunday, February 17, 2002 07:55 p.m.

Family
Finally got ahold of my parents. My grandfather got through the operation okay and is doing well. My grandmother is having a nervous breakdown, however. I may end up having to go down to Florida for a spell if they need me. It's wait and see on that one. My mom is holding up remarkably well, considering the circumstances.

My family is pretty similar to a lot of American families in that we're spread out all over the place. My nearest relatives (my parents) lives 10 hours away. Bob's folks are a little closer (4 1/2 hours drive). My grandparents are 23 hours away, my brother about the same distance. And that's just the immediate family. The cousins are spread all over, from California to North Carolina to Pennsylvania to Arizona. So when a crisis hits, well, you're pretty much on your own.

I hate that. I'd like to be able to help if I could, but I can't afford to go gallivanting all over these United States anytime someone is born, dies, gets married or has an operation. It's sad, but I barely know my family. Due to my father's work, we've always been on the move. Hell, we still are. Mom likens us to the pioneers, who left home and family behind to forge a life in the wilderness (wilderness today meaning suburban jungle, I suppose?).

Bob's family was different. They all pretty much stayed in and around Iowa (except Uncle Clyde, who "broke grandma's heart" by moving to Montana--his kids are like my family, scattered here, there and everywhere). Bob grew up hanging out with his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. They're still close (to the point that it's uncomfortable to be with them--we who marry into the clan are forever outsiders). Yeah, they have to know all your business, but otoh, when things go sour, someone is always available to help out. I kinda wish my family was like that.

However, Bob and I are able to move where we want without taking into consideration anyone else, because my family really doesn't care and Bob's folks want us farther away so they have a place to go on vacation. ;-D But the price you pay for that kind of freedom is high sometimes.


Saturday, February 16, 2002 11:53 a.m.

Life goes on

Thanks to everyone who send condolences on my grandfather. I've had no news on his condition. My parents aren't always very good about telling me things (the last time my father was hospitalized, I didn't find out until 3 months later, by accident. I ripped them a new one over that!). However, no news is good news. If he'd died, surely someone would have told me. Anyway, I've been pretty down about it, but am feeling better. It's just a sad thing, the more so because it emphasizes how distant (physically AND emotionally) my family is.

Valentine's Day has come and gone. I don't set much stock in it (in the years that I was single, I never ONCE had a boyfriend during February! For me, love doesn't seem to be a winter sport!). I did get Bob some chocolate and a mushy card, which he appreciated. He's a lot more romantic than I am, so I have to humor him sometimes. ;-D Men! I also got him a Those Who Hunt Elves DVD, which he's really enjoying. I have to say they did a great job on the English dub. It's not completely true to the Japanese script, but it's in the same spirit with a lot more humor.

Translation can be a tricky thing. Japanese is so different from English that it makes translation difficult. If you translate exactly, the English sounds stilted, because the nature of Japanese is a lot more concise than English. And so, if you translate exactly, it doesn't always sound right, because we'd often use more words to say the same thing. And the folks who dubbed Those Who Hunt Elves or Shinesmen (THE best English dub EVER!) knew that, so they do more of an "interpretation" of the original Japanese script rather than a direct translation. And it works! Fortunately, DVDs usually have both English and Japanese tracks, so you can always see the original if you feel purist. But I feel the same with anime as I do with manga--sometimes, I just want to see/hear it in my own language!

Speaking of manga, just got my Berserk volumes in! I may be low-profile for awhile as I make my way through them. I looked through them a bit: great art (the first 3 volumes aren't as good, but the artist obviously improved over the years), some disturbing scenes but not as many as I'd been led to believe--or maybe I'm just jaded, I'm not sure. No furigana, but I have translations, so that's okay. Anyway, I'll be spending some quality time reading this week!

Will do social blogging later, and maybe rant a little, I don't know. For those of you who tried to get me on Yahoo Messenger, I forgot to turn the stupid thing off while I was downloading something, so please forgive me! I wasn't dissing you! I just wasn't here! ;-D


Saturday, February 16, 2002 06:16 a.m.