B l a c k F e a t h e r s , v 4 .1
Picturelesque

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

March 31st, 2006 (Friday) 11:24 p.m.
Feeling : Annoyed

Calamari is good. But giant squid would probably taste bad since they're so loaded with amoneia.

The mere concept of right or wrong is a perception society forces onto its subjects to create order from chaos.

If a man were to chase away one woman's husband, then murder that other man's children before mating with that woman, society is quick to condem.

Lions do the exactly the same: they defeat the dominant males of other prides, take over, then kill the young of those defeated lions, before mating with the lionesses. Yet we never say that these actions are 'wrong'. In fact, we help justify by saying that the stronger male is simply weeding out the weaker genetic material so he can inject his own into the gene pool. More or less, we accept it as one of those facts of life.

So... I'll just stand by the belief that there is no true right or wrong, only consequence.

I get the feeling people sometimes think that life would be easier if they were animals or something. Life would certainly be simpler, but easier? Heck no... Nature has no mercy, nor patience, or time for blunders. One mistake and you are food for the flies. Humans live sheltered away from the harsh realities of the natural world. No chances. No forgiveness. No screwing up twice. Everything IS out to get you, or something from you. Fight for your chance at life, or you will not live to see another day. Your will to live must be as strong and hardy as your physique. Your reflexes must be as quick as you are agile. Your ability to defend your body must be at its optimal, because no one will show you pity.

And despite this being said about the natural world, we find ourselves wanting to revert to the simple ways sometimes. Perhaps this is because humans have come to a point where everyone is living far too densely for anyone's good (maybe except for leaders). Homospaiens evolved to live in small, closely-knit communities; a far cry from today's overcrowded cold metropolitan cities. With increasingly advanced societies plagued by a growing number of suicides -- No other healthy organisms capable of reproducing that are currently known of terminate their own life with the central intention being their own death. (Source: Wikipedia) --, resource shortages, wars famine and the list of most major crisis getting lengthier and lengthier, I find it dreadfully obvious that humans are doomed/ cursed/ fated to repeatedly cause their own downfall over and over and over again. What is it? Overpopulation. Almost all governments (save the invasive China's never-malfunctioning baby-machine and India's blooming reproduction rates) never have eough people to back them up in times of great conflict with other countries -- this is a trait retained from our ape ancestors; the bigger the troop, the more brute force to empower or defend your group. With a crippling population of 6 billion with no signs of stopping, I think breeding should be made a bloody privilege. But noooooo. The troops need their monkays. Plus the fact homosapiens are one of the most sexually active primemates does not help the number decrease.

Have a lot more to say about the issue. Funny how simply seeing a pregnant woman can make me rant this much. It's a little hard to describe how I felt at the time. A mix of disgust, resentment, hatred, and disapproval at another homosapien contributing to an already overpopulated world. Somehow I think the woman felt unsettled by my sakki.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 31st, 2006 (Friday) 10:11 a.m.
Feeling : Blahed

Hello again. Feeling insomia set in now. I blame the friggin' heat. I had to slap a bag of ice all over me last night for an hour before I could finally Zzz. Also note that I've not used the water heater even once since returning. Basically, Sycia needs to be kept in a room of average 10 degrees (Celcius) or less to be happy.

That said, I'm getting rather pissed off at my old man for expecting everyone to wait on him, thinking he's right all the time. Take the hint; when I say I hate how your damn armoatherapy smells, no amount of persuation or lecturing is going to change my mind. Simply because this is an issue of preference. I don't care if it's a product you developed; I just don't want to use it, and you can't make me. Mind you, my sense of smell is more sensitive than most people's since I didn't gain it till I was 16. GET IT? Aromatherapy gives me a bloody headache. And no one ever went into your o-so-sacred-holy-grounds room to switch your bloody printer off. We are smarter than that. And be a better husband.

That aside, I have to say that despite the whatevers that happened recently, I love my Mommy dearly. Yes, in spite of being over-dramatic, money-minded, and being highly defensive. Everyone has their flaws, and one of mine is being highly critical about the ones closest to me. -_-

Yep. Farmer in New Zealand... ultimate dream at the moment. Watch out sheep.

Watched some of Lost recently and got... annoyed. I don't know about you, but I'd be feeling pretty fed-up having been led around to no conclusions for an entire season with more wooo-ahhhhh mystery at every turn with absolutely no hope of solving it though the show tempts and torments you with some obvious hints. So... no. No more Lost for me; National Geographic, BBC documentaries all the way.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 27th, 2006 (Monday) 01:09 p.m.
Feeling : Weirded

Had this really odd dream last night... I was again helping some people escape some big-o-evil group of baddies. Had a few friends who were specialized in various methods of combat. Most prominently, a woman who was especially skilled in offensive magic, and a man I seemed to deem as my teacher and mentor, skilled in hand-to-hand combat (though oddly enough I was trained in a sabre?). The dream spanned a few decades with me being introduced into the group, training, going out into the field, falling a few times, nearly getting killed some, getting married (lol), nearly getting killed again, almost losing an arm, then suddenly the fight was over after I knocked off a guy on a horse charging at me (>_<; had to down the horsie...) and hacked his head off. Nevermind. I can't remember most of the details, but the surroundings were pretty. Towering limestone mountains with waterfalls cascading down their sides onto the rich, lush plains below. Um... China?

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 26th, 2006 (Sunday) 09:07 p.m.
Feeling : Pissed

There was a party and BBQ yesterday night. Went there early to help out and Mom suddenly cooked up some super-cookies that tasted so good (melts in your mouth) but was done completely by estimation (she didn't have any scales). I still say our dying race are masters of estimation (or agar-ation) when it comes to cooking. The party was my eldest cousin's daughter's birthday, so there were plenty of screaming demons children running amok around. Luckily, I had enough catching-up to do with my cousins to keep distracted. Why that oldest cousin has to throw such overly-elaborate parties that requires so many pairs of helping hands is beyond me, expecially with the cost rocketing through the roof of her 22-storey condominium. The cleaning-up was hell, so was the rush to get out of the rented hall since there was someone who'd booked it right after us.

The BBQ was much less chaotic since the kids were gone, and there were much less people; only close relatives. Found someone to speak Japanese to (another cousin's girlfriend) and had everyone staring at us. The family shared quite a number of jokes and I find that I can mix with my cousins for the first time in this life. Not only that, I finally share similiar interests with the cousin closest to my age. Didn't manage to eat much though... why is EVERYONE trying to stuff me silly, then telling me to stop eating so much? �_� I had only 2 meals a day for the last 3 years, and now everyone seems intent on correcting it back to 3. >____<; NO!!! Lemme live on less! I can't stand feeling so bloody bloated 24/7!

Went to see V For Vendetta just now with Lil Sis, Lil Bro and Nic. I hadn't ANY clue what the hell this movie was about, but I'm a fan of Hugo Weaving anyway, so all it took was the meer mention of his name to get me going. What? He's one of those truly talented actors I favour (Sycia mostly adores the seasoned actors / actresses with looooong histories and are 30 over. XD). Lil Sis had mentioned something about a civil uprising when I inquired the contents and story of the film, so I just remarked, "Viva la revolution". o_O I didn't expect the phrase to be in the film itself. Didn't get much of any summary or hint from Lil Sis in the end so I got the wrong idea of thinking it was some random generic superhero film again.

I walked out of the theatre a little disappointed I could exactly see Hugo Weaving work his magic (fantastic voicework aside), but otherwise I was terribly impressed, and a little EXTREMELY confused at why the film was even allowed to play in Singapore in the first place (those of you Singaporeans who've seen past the rosy web of complacency will know what I mean). I love the fact this film actually has a coherent, powerful, and necessary message that the world needs to hear despite it being somewhat stylized and with a guy in a mask. I expected it to be just another action flick that dumbs your mind down, but wow... wrong I was. Please go see it. It is one of those films that will set your brain working (unlike the loads of bullshit on TV and in cinemas now).

PEOPLE SHOULD NO BE AFRAID OF THEIR GOVERNMENTS.
GOVERNMENTS SHOULD BE AFRAID OF THEIR PEOPLE.

The only thing I really want to question about the film in truth, is "Why England?" America is so much more God-fearing. Also, John Hurt's performance was fantastic. Can't recall where I've seen him before though. Wonder if any countries have considered banning the film before... No, actually, what I should be wondering is how much the Singapore government actually cut out, because the official site says it's 'R' while what I just saw was N-16. I'm going to get the bloody DVD. -_- And on a last note, whenever Beethoven's Fifth Symphony played (twice in all), I couldn't help but smile because it's the background music of one of my favourite screensavers; Sheep vs Gravity. XD Jumping sheep that explode + film with serious message? Ow, my head. XD

I've also been reading up summaries of Blood+. -_-; Can't download the stuff so I'll have to wait for my computer to arrive, In the meantime, I'm stuck with a slow but virus-free comp which has a keyboard I have to STAB to type (no Japanese input or encoding either). But anyway, WTF with Riku. O_O >_< D:<<< There goes all hope of the pesky roach dying anytime soon. D�<<<

---

On to more serious stuff now. I keep getting people telling me to go try for [insert famous company name here]'s position as an animator when I keep bloody TELLING THEM THAT'S A 3D ANIMATION COMPANY! Why the fuck do these people keep thinking 3D animation is but a short leap from traditional 2D animation when it is NOT!? It sends me up the wall how they make it sounds so nice and simple; "Oh! You've studied 2D animation before! You can do 3D too!" Damn you. Damn you all. I happen to hate 3D animation to death, so though I studied a little bit of it years back, I've practically forgotten it, not that I've any interest in the bloody thing at all. Then again, if these people can't seem to understand that 2D and 3D animation is DIFFERENT, I doubt any amount of explaining will help.

And then there's this friend of my mother's whom I despise. For an incident long ago, her apparent fakeness, her failed attempt at child upbringing, and her calculativeness. Why? Bloody hell I'll tell you why. When my mother called her up to say I was back (I didn't want to speak to the woman), she went somewhere along the lines of, "Oh! Now you'll get good money rolling in" (telling my mother about me getting work and shit). My blood boiled, I felt the sudden compulsion to snatch the phone, call her up during the dead of night and tell her to fuck the hell out of my life. I hate money-minded, calculative people. This may place me as a weirdo in today's society, but I will say this out loud and not be ashamed. People like her are nothing more than robotic drones, slaves of green piece of paper, lesser than even the most humble, single-celled bacteria. Can your minds not comprehend anything beyond greed in money?

"Religion reminds me of alcohol. As in using it
for an excuse to say some really stupid stuff."
- Shiny

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 22nd, 2006 (Wednesday) 02:47 p.m.
Feeling : - -

Hello. I am still alive. Unfortunately.

Sent off all my stuff on Friday evening. Had actually gone to Joyce's place in the morning to pass her my bokutou's. Saturday was dead boring (no computer, and just about everything else) so I went to Hakone to see Mt. Fuji (haven't actually seen it close). The weather turned for the worse and I went up the other mountain (Sounzan) just to find the peak shrouded in rainclouds and a thick drizzle. So... no. In the end I never did see Mt. Fuji. - - Ah well, at least I wasn't bored.

Sunday? I woke up to find this text message from Joyce going, "Save me!!!" o_O Went over to help her carry the rest of her stuff to my place and spent the last night at the izakaya drinking a little, and being upset and depressed.

So Monday, yeah. The flight. Urgh. I woke up really so sickly I thought it'd be impossible to fly. But after half an hour of resting and I was back on my feet. No, that could not have been a hangover... those make your head spin. I just felt nausea.

At the airport, the airplane received a very good dose of my killer glare before I got on and most of the 6 and a half hour trip was spent staring off into space, pondering. PS, Singapore Airline's food so.f**king.RULES though my mood put a damper on it all.

So back in Singapore and dying from the heat (What? It's 5 degrees back in Tokyo). And being dotted. Waiting for my stuff to be shipped here.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 16th, 2006 (Thursday) 10:58 p.m.
Feeling : Resigned

Blah blah blah, yadaa yadaa yadaa. I should feel happy going home. I should be elated to be reunited with family. I should be overjoyed at seeing my loved ones again. I should be. I should be. I should be.

But I am not.

Instead, as I said to Sis earlier, I feel like a cornered mouse with a lava pit at the back of me, and some money-hungry jaws in front. The pit looks awfully tempting. A little like this picture.

こんな暗い考え方は俺的じゃない。 じゃないはずだ。
なのに日にちが近づけば近づくほど、 以前当たり前
のような楽天さが何かに どんどん吸い取られていくよ
うな気がする。

Till next time then. -_-

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 16th, 2006 (Thursday) 03:55 p.m.
Feeling : >: |

o_O After 2 years of going to that convenience store right across the road, one of the managers there only realizes I'm not local today. I was asking her about sending my luggage to the airport, then she looked confused and asked me if I was local or foreign (even though I've talked to her so many times already XD). She was too shocked. Hahaha. Good to know I can still fool locals. My Japanese is not that good, really. My vocabulary is bleh, but what it lacks, my accent-imitation skills make up for. ; ) This is why the Kyoto accent got to me after just 2 days of being there. XD I love mimicking accents!

Been really busy packing. o_O But there are less things to pack than I initially thought. Then again, the amount of stuff I'm not hesitating to throw away... XD

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 15th, 2006 (Wednesday) 12:48 p.m.
Feeling : Resigned.

Hmm. If I cause so much inconvenience to a nicely settled family, perhaps I shouldn't have decided to go home at all. Whatever. I'll see what I can do to lessen the impact on them or get out when the time comes. Yes, AND OF COURSE help out with the family's financial crisis, yes.

まッ、どうせ俺の意見なんか関係ないや。
金だけ出せればなんでもあり という皮肉な現実。

*goes listen to some happy songs*

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 15th, 2006 (Wednesday) 08:39 a.m.
Feeling : Annoyed

Oh yeah, after the Kyoto trip, I made my way to school rather nervously, thinking I had to present my animation work to the teachers. Was pretty nervous about it since I never did have them check my work 3 times before the deadline, as stated in the requirements. But when I went, Takeda-sensei just shoved my results in my hands and said I passed. o_O That's a relief.

The below entry is translated and available (Friends-Only) at my livejournal account. Reason? This entry is not meant for certain related people.

姉ちゃんに面白い提案を教えられた：
あっちに行って、二人で暮らす。 彼女の面倒ちょっと見て、
一週間二百ドル貰って ドリームワークス・スタジオ にインターシップ をするって。
行きたくない、 そんな事はないよ。
ただなんか突然で不安定なの。それに、
彼女の金とっても頂けないよ。
姉ちゃんが俺のことスッゴク考えているの：
家族の悩みという籠に閉じこまれないようにね。
ありがとう、 姉ちゃん。 考えとこう。

確かにその途中ママの電話が来てしまって、
またいつものつまらない金の文句ばっか聞かせてしまった。
その結果、あそこに帰る気がさらさら無くなった。
なんつーか、家族が手伝いが要ると分かっている。
分かっているけど、いくらでもそんな言い方
「まさかあなた、私を見殺す気か？」なんざないだろうが。
脅しか、それ？ 言っとくが、あんたらを見捨てる気がねぇよ。
むかつくね。 帰る前、 もう勝手の事決めらせられるなんて。
でも、俺の気持ち なんてはどうでもいいだろう？

だから「帰国して嬉しい？」と聞いても、 どうやって答えるのかさっぱり。

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 14th, 2006 (Tuesday) 03:08 p.m.
Feeling : :D Fulfilled

Whoa... it's been a pretty fun and tiring 4 days. o.o Kyoto wasn't what I thought it would be, but it did not disappoint. ^_^

242 photographs later, here are the best~

--------------

1st day - 9th March, 2005 (Thursday)
Weather: Cloudy, slightly hazy.

Places visited:

ホテルフジタ京都
鴨川
賀茂神社

Woke up early and hopped up the bullet train with Joyce at the Tokyo JR station. Didn't sleep much during the 3-hour ride; more ooohhhh-ing and aaahhhh-ing at the landscape we passed along the way and just talked crap. Was still feeling sick from the rush-like-a-nucase day before that, so hadn't had much of an appetite at first, but I was famished after we got to the Kyoto station. Walked around the area for a bit and had a nice juicy sirloin steak (150g with with potato wedges, bread and corn), so reasonably priced at just 980 yen that I thought I read the menu wrong the first time; In Tokyo, that sort of food would cost double the price. After that, found our way to the subway and tried finding our way to the hotel. -_- Mind you, we're not dumbasses when it comes to maps, but the one we had was... BAKA. Ended up walking a huge round before deciding the map was worse off than having none at all, so asked our way about. Our bicycles arrived shortly after. We also asked for proper maps from the hotel before deciding to explore the city a little. The maps were still dumbed-down a lot, but heck, they were so much better than the initial one. It was about 3pm when we left the hotel.

Cycled along Kamogawa (large river) upstream north for quite a while, reached Kamo Shrine where the river's tributaries converged. Saw plenty of birds along the way (so many hawks o_O). We reached the shrine at about 6pm so everything was closed or getting there.

So instead, we cycled downtown to experience a more contemporary Kyoto. The first thing that I noticed was the amount of people; 4 times less dense than Tokyo. That in itself places the city pretty high in my book. Another is that even in the midst of the bright, modern, lively urban jungle, there's always a small temple or shrine right around the corner for people to pray or pay respects to whatever god they worship, or want blessings from. Cute~

--------------

2nd day - 10th March, 2005 (Friday)
Weather: Cloudy, rain, extremely hazy.

Places visited:

伏見稲荷大社
賀茂神社

Joyce had wanted to visit Fushimi Inari Shrine for some time, so we decided to go there. Easier said than done since the weather wasn't agreeing with us, and someone took a full hour to wake. XD We set off early and were glad; the rain and early timing ensured fewer people and lots more photograph opportunities. It was drizzling the whole day long, so I didn't feel the need to get an umbrella. Bought 2 protective charms there and some small souvenirs there too. Stopped by the Kyoto JR station and marvelled at the enormous structure. Went back to the hotel, thinking about biking to the Kamo Shrine again since the rain subsided for a bit, but it returned, badder than ever, so we used the bus instead. More photograph opportunities! The rain got worse and I was trying to keep my camera dry most of the time rather than look around (hence I don't quite remember much about this place). We got out trying to find a bus to a weapons shop, and instead got led around for a bit by a kind old lady who was originally from Tokyo, but spoke with a very slight Kyoto accent anyway. Felt a little bad about having her help us that much, but she assured us it was along the way to her place. Got out at the station closest to the sword shop, came out of the station, scrutinized a sign in search of it to no avail, then felt like an idiot when we found it just around the corner, just 2 meters away. Nice stuff... This is the place to go if you want authentic katanas (not cheapo display items that just look shiny and stuff). Me, being poor anyway, just got a mini-katana / letter opener after drooling for a bit. XD

We were off to search for a Japanese pipe after that. Once more, we asked our way around, but everyone I asked just gave me this weird expression and said they didn't know. An old lady later claimed that only people of the past smoked using those traditional pipes (during the Meiji period). x_X She spoke in such thick Kyoto accent, we couldn't understand her in some parts. She was kind enough to ask some friends of hers about the item I was looking for, but again, no luck.... though her Kyoto accent rubbed off on me quite a bit... 2 hours and a pair of aching feet later, finally found a lone tabacco shop selling the stuff I was looking for. x_x Now, I do not smoke, so I was pretty lost on which brand of tabacco powder to get (the pipe and stuff is for a friend), so ummm... yeah. Wasn't able to get a classy pipe, but the one I got seems pretty ok.

Found a nice shop with glass accessories. O_O Even Bidoros! Didn't get those (too delicate for someone like myself) but I did find a pretty pendant that I couldn't take my eyes off. Went back to the hotel with aching feet.

--------------

3rd day - 11th March, 2005 (Saturday)
Weather: Extremely hazy

Places visited:

花見小路
祇園
建仁寺
清水寺
東山花灯路
法観寺
八坂神社

The rain finally cleared! We set off extra early to Hanamijouro; a street known to be frequented by geishas and lined with traditional pubs and resturaunts. Good thing we did... it got so bloody crowded after 9. Walked around Gion and into the Kenninji temple complex (we didn't enter most of the temples though, since they required entrance fees and we weren't about to fork out money to stare at Zen rock gardens...). Had to return the bikes that day, so we brought them around town for a last ride: to the Kiyomizu temple. Well... sort of... the temple is located up a hill so we pushed the bikes up most of the way. Being a Saturday, that meant it was f**king crowded at the top. I got another bokutou there (black O_O) later on. Kiyomizu Temple is one built partially hanging over a cliff, supported on stilts. It's pretty impressive, boast a view of Kyoto city below. It's supposedly spectacular duing autumn with the trees all reddening (I keep seeing posters of it everywhere) but most of them were bare when I went. XD After that we cycled back to the hotel, during which Joyce experienced the full trauma of cycling through the weekend crowds. I'm pretty used to cycling among people since I've been doing it in Tokyo for 2 years, but I guess any normal person would be pretty nervous doing what Joyce had to go through. o_o; Bikes aside, we made our way back to the same general area, to the Houkanji shrine, a pagoda. There was this special light-up starting that particular day during which little lamps would be placed on certain streets that lead to shrines/ temples/ tourist attractions. It was pretty, but packed. Tried to take some photographs, but it was either too damn crowded most of the time, or just too dark (my camera can't handle dark scenes >_<). By this time, my feet were beginning to hurt bad. After that we made our way to the Yasaka shrine. It was after that I decided I had to give my feet a break and stop. Limped back to the hotel slowly and died on the bed almost immediately.

--------------

4th day - 12th March, 2005 (Sunday)
Weather: Rain

D:<<< MORE RAIN! I wanted to go down to the river and snap pictures of the special stepping stones carved into the shape of turtles, early in the morning, but bleeeeh. Checked out and went around looking for the rest of the gifts I needed to get for relatives, then took a bus back to Kyoto station. Slept most of the way back to Tokyo~

--------------

:
:

Photographs (Graphics heavy):
Day 1 & 2
Day 3 & 4

My overall experience with Kyoto, surprisingly, was an unexpected liking for the main town area itself. I'm not talking about this tourist attractions, temples, shrines, or whatever (they kinda look the same after a while) but the ordinary residential areas, shops (for the locals, not tourists) and the couple of friendly people who helped us out without us even asking. The trains, even during the morning rush, are still relatively bearable, and the streets aren't packed with people like sardines (for weekdays anyway). I could live there. The first old lady wh helped us mentioned Kyoto being rural, but I don't agree. It's a scaled-down version of a more traditional Tokyo.

Another thing to add: I saw an advertizement encouraging the locals to wear kimonos. o_O Apparently they get discounts, or get use public transport free, etc etc. It's nice that the officials are trying to get people to be proud of their culture (hah, who am I to say since I'm a mongrel) and support the city's biggest industry; tourism. I have heard some say Kyoto is too commercialized, and I agree to a certain point. Its more well-known places are specially catered to lure the non-locals in and I felt a little disgust. Still, as mentioned earlier, I appreciate the heart of the modern city.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 12th, 2006 (Sunday) 09:27 p.m.
Feeling : ^________^

Back from Kyoto

... AND I LOVED IT!

Took plenty of pictures and will upload later with the events~

出会いがたくさんあって、
弁までちょいうつられてしもた！

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 8th, 2006 (Wednesday) 11:03 p.m.
Feeling : Tired. REALLY tired...

X__________________X

I've not been this burnt out in the head for a long time. Let's just say I'm a little out of it after not sleeping properly for 5 days, drawing non-stop, lugging 1000 pieces of paper around, and rushing like a madwoman to shoot it all down on VHS in 6-hours, then RUNNING like my life depended on it, just to hand the stuff up, making it right at the very last minute (I mean that in the most literal sense you can think up). The effect of which, has left Sycia a very blank, tired and unresponsive, babbling idiot with the current mentality of a carrot, with an aching right shoulder + arm + hand, and nothing on her mind but sleep.

Before complaining anymore, I have to thank Joyce, whom without, I would have NEVER made it in time for the deadline. >_<; Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU! Thank you for lugging that 1000-piece load together with me, thank you for sticking through all 6-hours helping me with the shooting and effectively speeding up the process by twice as much! Thank you for being worried when I got so exhausted, I forgot hunger and thirst. m(_ _)m *sniff*
泣きたいほどありがたいの！ ありがとっ！

*Ahem*
That said, I truly felt down in the dumps. Glad no one else was using the machine to do the shooting, because both of us were working non-stop and we only just finished it and handed the materials and tape at 3:59pm when the deadline was 4:00pm. The constant flipping and changing of animation pieces, plus all the drawing this past few months took its toll on me right arm; it's feeling all weak, shaky and what not. Sh*t... I am NEVER doing this again. It's a flippin' miracle the DVtape -> VHStape dubbing got done JUST before 4:00pm anyway. D: Takeda-sensei gave me a major shock when suddenly he told me to come to school and present my work on the 10th. D:< I'm in Kyoto from the 8th to 12th! Luckily, my teachers are a reasonable friendly bunch. Told him I wouldn't be in Tokyo, so he pushed it back to the 13th. T^T Went down to the administration office to confirm something and it ended with Joyce having to step in and translate everything in English to me. >____<; Exhausted Sycia = Understanding of spoken language reduced by half. Bleeerrggghhh I felt like a handicapped idiot the entire day. =_=; No wonder Joyce was so worried.

Anyway, putting that aside, I finished it. I FINISHED THE BLOODY PROJECT! >____<; There are so many people I have to thank for supporting me through this difficult period. >_<; Joyce, Sassin, Quex-dono, Mom... >_<; WAAAAA! I WUB YOU ALL!!! T____T Thank you all for being so patient with me >_<;

Accompanied her to Akihabara after that hectic school bit, and spent most of the time at Animate though I was zoning and stoning most of the time.; expected, when your mind goes on a holiday somewhere up in the clouds. Had a little bit of sushi (XD by Joyce's orders) too. :p I insisted I wasn't hungry, that my slow reactions were due to fatigue, but lol, she was having none of it. 何かちょっと嬉しいけど. Didn't even want to have steak. oO Apparently my system didn't like the sushi for some odd reason, and just expelled it rather painfully when I got back. oO

Tomorrow, we're off to Kyoto! :D Can't wait! Hope to take plenty of pictures, find a reasonably-priced hakama and an elegant kiseru! ^_^/

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 8th, 2006 (Wednesday) 04:54 a.m.
Feeling : >____<

I've... finally... finished... drawing.... all... 2000-pieces... of... animation... *twitches from fatigue*

Haven't slept properly in about 4 days. Er...5? I think... kinda lost count. Only had a 3-hour nap just now.

But... at long last, I've finished drawing all 2000 pieces of animation. >___< FINALLY. All that I have left is to shoot it on tape by 4:00pm today. Bringing a 2000-piece pile of paper all the way to school is just nuts for one person, so I'm enlisting the help of Joyce to carry some of it. >_< GOMEN NA!!! m(_ _)m

K...K...KAWAII~!*(&$*&^%*!^% >_<; PS: It's a snake picture, so phobics beware.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 5th, 2006 (Sunday) 07:38 p.m..
Feeling : :D Glad, so very very glad.

One effective way to keep me working without stopping to do something else is to have any of my favourite anime series playing on my computer non-stop so I can listen to the dialogue while drawing at the lightbox. Sure, occasionally I'll look to the screen to rewatch some scenes, but it keeps me awake. O_O

I don't know what the hell is cool about some guy taking it upon himself to make sure a girl doesn't get hurt, trying to show he is being a man'. It SERIOUSLY pisses me off. All the deal with protecting women and shit? It grinds my nerves. Simply put, contrary to most other females, if you do that, Sycia will not be touched, impressed or happy, but EXTREMELY annoyed. I do not appreciate being exposed to this stupid form of sexism in any damn way. If anyone's been wondering why I don't feel attracted to the opposite gender much, this is one of the top 3 reasons: Because I, being female, will never be treated equal.

Hence, Fate/Stay Night has managed to make me want to slap someone male, ANYONE, around a lot with a whale or two. Bloody sexist show from yet another bloody sexist society.

This is why I wish I was neither gender, yet both, so I can get around this idiotic web of sexism, regardless of the pros or cons it brings. Don't treat me based off what gender I am, do it based on who I am to you.

==========

Wow... o_O I never knew there was actually a large enough community of asexual people until today.

Glad To Be Asexual. A very good read on asexuality as an orientation.

"Unsurprisingly, one of the hardest things about being asexual is
convincing other people that there is nothing wrong with you.
Tell someone on the street that you are asexual and they’ll
stare at you in disbelief, says Jay. The immediate supposition
is that you’re just a late bloomer, he adds."

Hahaha, so true. People have been telling me for YEARS that I'll "grow out of it". Somehow, it seems a more far-out and abstract than homosexuality. ¬¬ Well, guess what? People don't believe in asexuality, so they don't f**king LEAVE ME ALONE. It's just not acceptable, or even comprehensible to most guys that I, female, am just not damn interested. They just keep pressing on like bloody mosquitoes that just never die. Sadly, since humans are such sexually active animals, the only solution is just to cut off all communication if they don't respect this decision (common in Asian society). What's wrong with being a perfectly happy single?

Let's just say that I'm mentally so disgusted and turned off at the idea of mating or reproduction, that I've managed to retard, or stunt hormonal functions. Not the opposite, mind you. The reason I am the way I am is also because I like to see the world without being under the influence of unnecessary feelings or emotions brought in by being sexually attracted to anyone of any orientation or gender.

It's rather comforting to know I'm not such a freak after all.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 4th, 2006 (Saturday) 05:56 p.m.
Feeling : Exhausted

WORK WORK WORK! 493 more frames! 2 more days. YOOOOSSSSHAAAAA!!! D:< But first! SLEEP! Or I can't work at full capacity! :D SLEEP! HERE I COMEEEEEE~! <333

And boy, am I ever glad I took a break from fansubbing this week to do my work. ^____^
バカコゾウのやろうども、 任せたな！

Got a bit of a fright this morning thanks to Neechan, but it seemed to turn out fine. GANBARE!!!! D:< Ore mo ganbatteiru kara na!

Ignore the below if you do not understand, I somehow just don't feel like putting it in English, nor do I feel that it would come out as I intend in English. Basically, I'm really blue because of what I mentioned in the previous post.

=========================

一晩中ずっと課題をやりながら、深く考えたんだ：

さきのポストにつになんだけど、
やはりどうしても納得できぬ。
なんで「イノチ」より 「カネ」 なんか
重要だと思われる人がそうになるのか？
「全員救えない」 とか 「それは現実だ」
なんざ 「これは神の意思だという」 やらと言われても、

納
得
で
き
ん
！

「全員救えない」？ 頑張らなきゃわかねぇだろうが！
一人一人ある程無理だと分かっているけど、
試さないとのん気な口調で言うな！
「それは現実」？ 違う！ それは大勢なの人々
の意思で思われた現実となった！
「これは神の意思」？ 笑わせるな。
そんな言葉は諦めた人間の口しか出ないものだ。

俺は今の時代にバカみたいに 「甘い」 とか言われるかもしれないが、
「生」 は緑色の紙一冊二冊より ずーっと大切だと世界に叫びたい。

そして、 もう一度皆に 分かってもらいたい。
人は「情け」というモノ、 許された理由あるはず。
無駄に捨てるべきではない。

って、 なんで俺ちょいヅツ グル になっていくんだ？
スゲーブルーになっじゃった。 悲しい…悲しすぎ。

俺って、やっぱりただのバカなのか？

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 4th, 2006 (Saturday) 07:38 a.m.
Feeling : Blue.

For everyone who holds humankind as the most important specie in the world, think about this for a while.

If the human race vanished from Earth, it would have no negative effect on the environment. Heck, the entire planet would recover from its onslaught. That how biologically 'significant' homo sapiens are to the ecosystem.

Now, imagine all insects sudden disappeared off the planet. If you thought the world would be better off without them just because you're nsectophobic, think again: small birds, mammals, fish, and reptiles, all dependant on insects for food, would starve. How would this affect egoistic I'm-so-high-up humans? Well, think about it this way: even chickens feed on insects. A good lot of animal waste is processed by insects so without them, the shit would be piling up, up and up. Most importantly, insects are the main factor in plant reproduction. Without them to transport pollen and fertilize plants, so many plant species would die off, and you'd be left without any greens to eat, nor any meat from animals that depend on them.

Lesson? Give the little guys some frikkin' respect because without them, you wouldn't be around, whether you like it or not.

[LJ Permalink] One of the things I don't get about today's society is how much people are against aided suicide (pulling the plug on terminally-ill patients), but hospital aid is reserved only for those who can fork out the money to pay for the expensive services. When you consider the latter, it becomes clear how cruel and uncaring reality is; cash pieces of paper is valued above life.

Just another random thing I've been wondering since I was a child, and still don't get. Humans are terribly contradicting. I feel like a child, pondering over such... basic and simple things, but it's so so sad that it's just... ignored these days. I wonder a lot more, and this turns me blue for days and days at a time. Yeah... sometimes I feel like I could weap for the world, and feel my heart break several times over. Yet other times, I am happy for no clear reason, as if the world bestowed all its undying joy and ecstasy on my very soul.

Perhaps my true tarot card truly is 'The Fool'...

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 3rd, 2006 (Friday) 02:54 p.m.
Feeling : >_<

Alright, had enough of Kashimashi ~Girl Meets Girl~. I'm not one for romance stories, no matter which sexuality's going on in it.

Upcoming anime titles to check out:

しにがみのバラッド (02/03)
牙-KIBA- (02/04)
魔界戦記ディスガイア (04/04)
.hack//Roots (05/04)
ザ・サード ～蒼い瞳の少女～ (13/04)
獣王星 (13/04)

Slept at 8pm last night and had a dream of being in a shopping centre-like building, with Mom, Joyce and her Mom, preparing to leave for some far land. We were getting supplies like towels and toothpaste, rushing for time because our flight (or something) was due in an hour. The entire dream was spent running about like a mad-man. We barely made it in the end, then I woke up at 1am, rather refreshed. Which is weird in itself since I hadn't slept for 24-hours before this. Spent a little while awake and decided I should go to bed again, lest I fall asleep while doing my work at the lightbox. Woke at 12pm (whoa) then rolled around for a bit before drifting off into a 1-hour nap, and had this really odd sci-fi dream set when cars could fly, and robots were a daily norm. I was with this small group of people who apparently seemed like we had been summoned to some other planet to settle a problem in the balance of magic. Sci-fi world + magic... =_=. This odd-looking one-car train was there for us, and the moment we got strapped in, it just shot off like the worst rollercoaster you can imagine, circling the city we had come from, ascending slowly as the flying cars whizzed past us. For some reason we knew we couldn't be seen by the ordinary folk while on the rocket-come-train. The azure sky suddenly faded into navy, as we made our way past the cloud-cover, then the vehicle picked up yet more speed and I think we passed out. We woke to find the train suspended in mid-air over a weeeeird planet of orange and green, at a platform named a random chunk of letters and numbers. Some guy in odd clothes came to greet us and take us to inspect the problem. Maybe it was the trip, or atmosphere of the new place, but it felt awfully energy-sapping to even take a step on that new planet. There were robots on it too, but they were malfunctioning. As we took our time to get to an elevator, the bot in there kept asking if it was okay to close the doors ever 10 seconds, even though not all of us were in there yet. Similiarly, a robot driving a car kept saying we were going to set off, every 15-or so seconds when most of us hadn't gotten in, and the poor man was having to tell the robots no no no all the time. He explained that all this had been due to some chaos magic gone out of control. : | Apparently the constant hounding of the robots got so annoying to me, I woke with a headache.

Back to work. >_<

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

March 1st, 2006 (Wednesday) 03:19 p.m.
Feeling :

>_< You know, I'm beginning to think that I hallucinate when tired... because whenever I am, I can somewhat see through my skin a lot clearer than what people should be able to. It's disgusting to suddenly look at yourself and see this network of blue/red/orange veins and a mass of pulsating capillaries in place of your chest and arms. ¬¬; Maybe I can see that stuff when I'm not tired, but I don't stone off when alert.

Difficult to maintain concentration.... >_<

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~