We do not come to this Earth to live;
We come to sleep.
We come to dream.
- Aztec Peom

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 24th, 2006 (Tuesday) 04:26 p.m.
Feeling : Amused

Okay... I was EXCEEDINGLY pissed off this morning. More angry than I've been in a decade. When matters of privacy are involved, you can expect that kind of reaction from me. Anyway, I went to the train station pissed off, then something happened that effectively difused my anger and made me smile the rest of the day.

I fell down. XD Yep. You read right. I slipped on some melting ice while walking down a flight of steps, slid down 2 steps before tumbling over and landing front-first 10-over steps down on the ground. My portfolio flew five metres away and I think I bumped into a highschool girl on my way down. People might get upset and embarrassed, but hell I thought it was such a silly fall I was laughing inwards for the rest of the day. Thank god my phone, mp3 player and camera were alright. Contrary to how badly I fell, I came out relatively unscathed; a small bruise on each knee and a few strained muscles on my upper arms. Can't say my pants did as well though D:< Already this pair had a hole in it. After the fall, I got 2 more on the same area >x<; and lots of dirt. Some high-power must've induced the fall so I didn't have to be pissed off the whole day. Thank ya~ ^o^

Nevermind... ignore this nutcase who find falling down hella amusing.

Ran a few errands today... -_- Bank issues are tricky. Was expecting a transfer, but the bank never got anything. Wonder if cheques work for overseas stuff... What's the difference between a cheque and bank draft? o_O

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 23rd, 2006 (Monday) 09:37 p.m.
Feeling : Down~

A sudden and random discussion with Bayu-chan and Otouto-chan ended up with Joyce and I deciding to go on a short Onsen trip with them. o_O It'd be nice to get together one last time since we're all going our separate ways from now on... They're staying on to further their studies but may be going but to their respective countries (Indonesia & Laos)... I have a feeling I'll see them again someday, but when, I haven't an inkling. >_< Separations are ugh. They're nice (though geeky) fellas XD

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 23rd, 2006 (Monday) 05:37 a.m.
Feeling : Dorky

I'm exceedingly annoyed with the US being so !@#$ing self-contained. -_-; How's a person going to attempt supporting the $-minded TV business if they don't let people from overseas order the DVDs? *kicks and strangles* I finally find a documentaries on the wild horses on America. Not avaliable for download, but there's the DVD. -_- But they only sell it within America. Can't find the DVDs anywhere else. -_- Cloud: Wild Stallion of the Rockies and Cloud's Legacy: The Wild Stallion Returns. Stupid website's tempting me with the America-only DVD. -_- *shakes VERY angry fist*

It's also extremely distressing that someone you love is in need of support and comfort, and you're hundreds of kilometres away, helpless to do any friggin' thing.

Full view here

I'm such a dork. I find a nice new plastic fork and what do I do with it? Photograph it 20 over times! D:} Plastic fork + my jacket + table lamp + camera. I have a thing for red on black. Hard and soft. : Just another experimental shot. Colour has NOT been adjusted in any way.

Crap I just realized I've got no more AA batteries for my camera. -_- Need to find some more.....................

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 22nd, 2006 (Sunday) 09:38 p.m.
Feeling : Cheerful

Prejudice will always exist. Whether in the tiny comment and judgement of a passer-by's fashion sense, or the racism against someone of another race, it will never go away. Why? Simply because people are not 100% identical to one another in physical appearance, mentality, spirituality, sexual orientations, beliefs, morals, etc. Realize that the perfect, and rather foolishly sought after, 'equality' will only come when people cannot find anything about another that is unlike themselves to criticize. Therefore, it is impossible for everyone not hold opinions, prejudice or not, of another person.

Oh yeeeaaaah people love to talk about how wrong racism, hypocrisy and inequality is and all. If they really thought it was wrong they wouldn't be making silly jokes or stereotyped views on other cultures, people, genders, religions, etc. Such as Japan being the 'hip' place and thinking the people are as animes portray (the next time I hear another otaku going "OMG U LIVE IN JAPAN COOLZ I WANNA GO THERE!", I'm going to scream). They wouldn't have the impression that tribespeople in Africa are backward and primitive. People wouldn't care if 'colour / color' was spelt different. Males wouldn't be so ostracized if they decided to do something socially considered non-masculine. Women the world over wouldn't be treated like mere objects of possession (if you want to discuss this with me seriously, email). Religions wouldn't be at war at one another. Wars, even the tiniest arguments wouldn't even happen.

No, I'm not an exception to this. Oh no. I am a f**king biased, healthily opininated & extremely frustrated individual. What's my point of the rant? I'm saying that the modern ideal of 'equality', in that everyone can be the same will never work out because people are so diverse. People EVERYWHERE will always judge, evalute and disagree with one another. Instead of trying to get everyone the same, how about trying to get some balance in difference instead? Understand and accept what you aren't.

It snowed a lot yesterday ^o^ Was up all night and wanted to go to bed at 7:35am when I looked out I saw WHITE. omg :D :D :D It was snowing sooooo much~ <3 rushed out to the park to snap lots of pictures <3 over 70 over but a good lot of them were of bad angle, bad subjects, etc. And balancing an umbrella, taking pictures and trying to keep your camera dry at the same time is terribly difficult D:} Hands, feet and face were frozen by the time I got back, but I was glad I went out to snap before the crowds and screaming kids came out.. Didn't stop snowing till night. Apparently it's the first real snow in 5 years. 8cm's worth of it! :D Now I know it ain't much to some, but I grew up in a topical country!!! *jumps around like a lil kid* ^_^ It's the simple things in life that thrill me~

See the rest here

PS: Cuttlefish are extremely cute.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 19th, 2006 (Thursday) 03:14 a.m.
Feeling : Contemplative...

Plagued by a bad headache for the last 2 days. -_-

Apparently, MSN messenger and MSN Plus! are the cause my voice turns to that of an alien (or alien cow, according to Sis during voice chats... it sent Lil Sis hooting like a hyena when I tried talking to my family... o_O It was all good when I switched to Windows Messenger. I wonder why...

Lately... : I'm either not myself, or my soul is taking a trip somewhere far away and hasn't quite had enough yet.

Like how wonderful life can be, but yet so pathetically insignificant against the scale of the universe and creation. How powerful people can try deceiving themselves or others to be, though in truth they are nothing. How life is breathed with every death. And of course, what an insignificant speck of dust I am, compared to everything else. What a fool I am... I know nothing. I own nothing. I am nothing. On the other hand, one can hold the spark to all knowledge. The blueprint of life can be found in a single cell. The seed of existence is contained in all beings, minute or leviathan.

¬¬; I dont' want to ponder about these things, it just happens. Tends to occur when my mind goes out wandering and does know how to come back.

I know nothing. I own nothing. I am nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 16th, 2006 (Monday) 12:55 a.m.
Feeling : Contemplative~

この星には、 ニクミが多すぎます。
非常に非常に哀しいことです。
泣きたい。 時々全世界のため泣きたい。

I had a dream last night that I was handling a cute mouse. It bit me the back of my hand then I bit it's head to its neck. It jumped off and ran away. Whether it survived, I don't know, but I was confused, even in the dream, at why I did such an appalling thing. -_-;

Maybe this is a little late for a New Year resolution, but well, it's a resolution nonetheless. Perhaps a lifetime one: look, and feel both sides of the coin. =_=

When it comes down to it, it's quite amazing how imperfect oneself can be, yet seek to criticize others so readily. I must curb this nasty habit. Start looking at my own faults before mindlessly passing judgement on others... Yet in more than just a few unwanted moments, the foolishness of mortality gets it in your head that you're better than everyone else to belittle them. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why people choose to believe in a higher existence such as Gods, so they can, in some sense, live a humble life?

Cyclops kitten. Hmm Is it just me, or its ears are too down its side? Makes its head look larger and rounder than a normal kitten's... like a human one.

Guy breaks leg while kicking spider... I bet he learnt his lesson.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged."
- Bible, Matthew 7:1

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 12th, 2006 (Thursday) 10:17 p.m.
Feeling : *thinking*

It never fails to amaze me how males express their mutual closeness by jabbing and insulting one another (jokingly). I can't complain though... that admirable honesty and light-heartedness is something largely restricted to their gender. I find I'm able to poke fun of them as comfortably as they do to me, but I just can't accept doing the same for females nor accepting most (unless tomboyish) giving out this sort of treatment. Mental block? Sexism? Prejudice? The ways in which the female and male mind function are so glaringly different.

Several new anime titles this season... I'm trying out Fate/ Stay Night and Kashimashi. The former of which I was erked about since it's based off a Hentai game, but one of the guys reassured me that the anime wouldn't go so far, and that it was an action anime. The second title, Kashimashi, really isn't something regular readers of my blog would expect me to even consider watching but for some reason, the general idea appeals to me. No, not the absurd part of a guy getting hit over the head with a UFO then turning into a girl... the part of pure affection spanning across genders. No, I'm not lesbian. Well... not consciously anyway; I find it perfectly fine and none of my damn business who or what people want to dedicate their feelings to. On a last note, I'm glad to hear Sugita Noraki in some sort of different role in Fate/ Night Stay after all the brooding characters (Sasuke, Ishida)...

QCing as PL, I feel like I'm learning English all over again. The differences in British and American English are gratting my nerves though. Not to mention the complicated punctuations... -_- Why can't punctuations stay as simple as the Asia languages' system? I'm even learning to spot scene bleeds now. Too bad I've gotta give it up soon. *sigh*

Another thing I notice about myself, wherever I go, school, internet, etc, I aim not to be the usual person... I make myself ascend (consciously or not) but never want to reach top position in most cases. The commitment needed is unnerving.

Note to self: get other earlobe pierced. I'm running outta places on my body to put accessories of sentimental value.

And the OST of Narnia ROCKS. Kudos to Osi for recommending it~

"If you don't believe in cooperation, just observe what
happens to a wagon when one wheel comes off."

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 11th, 2006 (Wednesday) 05:46 p.m.
Feeling : Unsure

Note to self, never fall asleep on table with grand soundtracks playing in the background (Narnia OST, to be more exact, though I've not seen the actual show). They spur equally grand dreams on majestic scales. Trees that bleed red blood are very freaky, kthnxbai (9.01.2006)

Had another dream. This time it involved the characters of Black Cat. Let's just say I woke up terribly, terribly disturbed because Creed was very much in-character with Train. =_=;;;

Went to school to get last term's results. I expected it to be bad, but a 'C' for my AniamtionI class when I had 'V.Good' for all my assignments?! What the hell? I've gotten A all the while. : Hell, I handed up more assignments than everyone else 'cos I was so fast. Hmmm maybe it's because I missed a few lessons because of Monday blues (can't wake up >_<) and during the peak of my depression... On a happier note, I had 'A' for AnimationII, a much harder class to take than AnimationI. : )

式部先生に才能を認められ、
「A」をあたえられるなんて、 光栄だね～

まぁーその後武田先生、 佐藤先生、 田倉先生に今ま
でできた作画 （DVテープに録画した中間チェックの形で）
を見せた。 武田先生はなんかほっとして 「ヤー安心した」
と言ってくれた。 先生最初から私に最卒制を完成する
自信はまったく無かったと気がすしたけど、 最後までその
「こいつ駄目人間だ」 の目で見て欲しかったなー。 俺の
欠点は、 ほめられるとすぐだるくなるっていうか、 ペースが
急に消えじゃうっていうか…、 ん。 それを防ぐ為に今回
頑張りたいと思います。

Okay Sycia, stop fooling around and bloody hell DO YOUR WORK. -_-

XD Cows PWN. I have new respect for them walking steaks. XD XD

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action.
They rented out my room."
- Woody Allen (1935 - )

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 9th, 2006 (Monday) 05:58 p.m.
Feeling : >_<

It is exceedingly hard to do traditional 2D animation with frozen hands.

>_< I'm running low on ideas for my project... XD

I'm an idiot. XD Have been in my room for so long doing work then when I went to school to check stuff, I didn't realize it was a public holiday. -_- *hits self*

Been trying not to think of too many things so I don't get distracted again. That's why these days I have nothing to say here anymore. Reduced to a drone at the lightbox.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 4th, 2006 (Wenesday) 08:17 p.m.
Feeling : -_-

Had a dream of being stabbed in the stomach with a spear while fighting against some weirdo leigon of armor-clad warriors. It didn't go through, but it was a pretty hard blow (I was flung like 8 metres). o_O Best thing about it was I was walking around after that, though bleeding and all, still fighting.

Did some spring-cleaning and the dust kicked up is making me sneeze like crazy. -_- That're more than half the precious day spent doing other things bleh.

Also, Paypal is not very friendly towards people not in Japan. D:<

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 4th, 2006 (Wednesday) 02:25 a.m.
Feeling : Guilty

Sometimes I think people are just being too nice to me. ¬¬; Really, I don't deserve this kindness. The gods have been too gentle on me. And stuff. I'm just a pile of dog poo~ Still... it'd be wrong (and downright stupid) to be ungrateful to people, so thank you.

Sick of harem animes, sick of loli animes, sick of ill-paired stereotypes that make no sense (stupid, ordinary and utterly DULL guy with an outrageously GORGEOUS girl)... cripes. There's hardly a bit of decency left in friggin' Japanese animation. Maybe I wouldn't be bitching about this if there were more animes of different genres to balance the influx of the guy-fantasy sorts, but there're AREN'T. _|_ to you, sucky male animation producers with no imagination and creativity.

Home and the Heartland

From high in the sky
Through the clouds and rain
Every familiar field
Seems like an old friend
When every hand that you shake
Is like a warm embrace
Could only be one sweet place
Home and the Heartland

Sing out your songs and
Ring out your stories and rhymes
Weave from your dreams those mystical
Dances that lead us to bind in heart and mind

As we circle the world
With our wandering airs
Gathering here and there
Leaving behind our share
Like the leaves in the wind
They are blown along
melody rising from
Home and the Heartland

Sing out your songs and
Ring out your stories and rhymes
Weave from your dreams those mystical
Dances that lead us to bind in heart and mind

"A man travels the world in search of what he needs and return home to find it." - George Moore

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 3rd, 2006 (Tuesday) 12:30 a.m.
Feeling : Mixed emotions

Jay is in Kyoto~ God I feel envious. She's entertaining some guests, but still, :p I feel reaaaally green with envy. On the other hand, I shall see this as a sort of punishment. Makes it doing my work a whole lot less dreary to know I'm 'serving a sentence' of some kind for my incompetence in November.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 2nd, 2006 (Monday) 12:02 p.m.
Feeling : >_<

I really must stop pissing people off.

Things seem to be looking better now amidst me beating myself to the lightbox to DO MY WORK >_<; Darn it why is my attention span so short.

Been the same boring routine these few days, but I suppose that's a good thing with this work to do. Trying to keep my thoughts positive and all. Which comes down to point 2. of my New Year resolutions... *hits self over head*

Alright Sycia, stop mucking around like a damn fool. WORK.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 1st, 2006 (Sunday) 01:50 p.m.
Feeling : >_<

LoL, what a way to wake up on the first day of the New Year to find that half your hair's like a tornado just went through it and the whole lot just decides to defy gravity, and discover you've got a headache.

2006 is looking to be a blast already. ><

And I forgot... it's the year of the dog. o_O My year! Grrrrarf!

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

January 1st, 2006 (Sunday) 12:49 a.m.
Feeling : o_<

Since it's already 2006 for me, onto the New Year Resolutions:

1) To see beauty in even the most unappealing.

2) To stop thinking and worrying so much. For cripes' sake Sycia, this isn't you. -_-

3) To maintain inner peace and calm.

4) To be more open to new ideas.

5) To be even more passionate about things.

--

>_o As you can tell, I've been having a struggle maintaining my carefree, happy persona throughout the entire last year, so these resolutions are to get me back on track.

Alright... back to work. -_-

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~